My very own (crappy) Edward
Dear Twilight Merchandise Manufacturers (NECA/Reel Toys)-
Imagine my surprise when I walked into Borders this afternoon on a mission for a non-Twilight related book I needed (ps Borders, who doesn’t stock CS Lewis?!) and found out the Edward action figure was on the shelves! So, of course I grab one cause I am both a nerd and in need of some easily portable material for our “Where in the world is the Rob pillow/action figure” category over at Letters to Rob. After I get it home and opened, I start noticing the MAJOR flaws and can totally now tell why these weren’t out for Christmas: they’re a total rush job!
First off, the packaging has a misspelling! It lists his “special abilities” as “MING reading.” Now wtf is a “Ming?” You mean MIND?? Oh yes… who was on proofreading duty that day?
The reason I had to prop him up against some of my cameras is because he is top heavy and unable to STAND UP… this probably also majorly has to do with the fact that ONE LEG IS SHORTER THAN THE OTHER. Really? Did you think we wouldn’t want to take this out of the package and do dumb stuff with it? I could overlook the short leg/standing issue if he was able to sit down. But alas, SURPRISE, he can’t bend at the waist or sit down either! So, you’re stuck with propping him up against stuff. Moving further down, surprise again, his knees don’t bend! It’s like they spent all their time on the upper half getting his hair just right and making his jacket all rubbery feeling and slightly movable (but not fully removable) to worry about actually making the “action figure” work-able.
This leads me to the most worthless part of the doll: the Cullen Family crest. We discussed what we thought it’s double usage could be over at LTR but sadly it is NONE of those. It’s a cheap, flimsy piece of rubber which when I tried, his feeble little hand couldn’t even hold onto. So the best usage I could find for it was shoving it under his semi movable jacket. Never know when he’ll need to whip that thing out in some fang-to-fang battle against another crazy vampire. Just think if Irina had had a Denali family crest she could have whipped it out and used it to deflect Caius and not died. Oh well, guess SMeyer never thought about that, but these merch people sure did!! Never mind something that is actually Edward or Twilight oriented.
Could Summit Ent. not hire the folks who do the Marvel/DC action figures? Or even the Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter ones? Apparently not, and it shows. Summit should have hired us as their merch idea gals! We could have come up with way better ideas than the perfume or body glitter.
All that said, I’ll still have a good time with it and use it in all sorts of inappropriate and funny ways. He’ll just be propped up doing them now.
PS has anyone else gotten one yet?
Check out “Where in the world is Edward” over at Letters to Rob