A message for Nikki Reed and Kristen Stewart- BFFs

Dear Nikki Reed and Kristen Stewart,

Okay, I have to say something. I’ve been holding my tounge for awhile now, but I’m over it.

Stop being fake lesbians.

Seriously, you’re starting to remind me of T.A.T.U. ย I get the “she’s my best friend and I love to kiss her on the lips” thing- I really do. I plant one right on the smacker of my best girls everytime I see them. But no one thinks we’re suddenly gonna go grab a pair of Birkenstocks and jump in a Subaru.

You can stop the ‘hand-holding at every event’ charade, and it would be okay to still do press for your films even if your “other half” can’t make it with you that day. And maybe, KStew, when you guys are out in public with your boyfriend you could hold his hand instead of Nikki’s. Just a tip from a girl who knows a thing or two about keeping a man around. (and here he is thinking Rob is the threat)

Instead of being sexy, if that’s what you think it is, it’s actually just kinda annoying. And no one’s buying it, well, no one except these lesbians over here. Did you read that? Instead of being the fantasy couple for hot guys everywhere, you’re on your way to becoming the LiLo and SamRo of 2009.

Just some advice from a caring friend,

(Apologizes to all Subaru-driving, Birkentstock wearing readers, lesbian or otherwise, but admit it, you laughed)

  • They make me tired. Both of ’em.

    Wonder if Nik went to Sundance with Kristen? I’ll be looking for pics of them, wearing fur-trimmed parkas, holding their goodie bags from the Motorola swag tent. Man, I hope one of them is smoking in a shot, too.

    • Natasha

      i don’t see anything wrong in them holding hands me and my best friend hold hands when we go out sometimes we don’t even realize we are doing so you guys need to shut up about saying you are tired of them i mean there’s only like three pictures of them holding hands… i’m sure most of you would do so much worse if you were celebrities

  • sam

    THANK YOU!!!! I could not have said this any better myself… its getting so damn old! When I watched the Vanity Fair photo shoot I thought they were lesbos at first! I mean, really!! Ugh. Its about time someone said something, so again, THANK YOU! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Natasha

      America seriously takes the whole gay thing way too seriously in many other countries like france and england girlfriends hold hands and boys hug all the time that doesn’t make one gay… and i would know this because i have lived in 5 different countries and america is the most STEREOTYPICAL!! no wonder people in foreign countries hate americans

  • vickybonnett

    Isn’t LiLo and SamRo enough already? Is this really what the gay community needs? More fake lesbians? Kstew and NIkki are so cliche and they don’t even seem to know it. I felt bad for Kstew’s boyfriend when I heard he was on set, can you imagine having to watch your girlfriend kiss rpattz but I imagine it must be much worse for ol’ Mike Arg-whatshisface to watch her carry on like this with Nikki Reed. Poor Schmuck!

    • @vickybonnett i know.. poor gay community.. weed out the fakes!!! that’s our goal here.. that’ll be in the mission statement. ‘protecting the gay community from all the fake twi-lesbos’ (write that in the twidea book, moon) ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Amber

    I can’t remember the last time I walked around holding a girlfriend’s hand. Oh wait, I do remember…grade school. When all the boy’s still had cotties!

  • You made me and my birkenstocks laugh.

    • @JourneytoFamily you ROCK those birkenstocks with your purple toes.. you do!

  • leighmm

    LOL! Well, they are “artistic” and you know how “artistic” people don’t operate in the same reality that we do. Maybe it’s just a smokescreen to hide the REAL affair… we all KS and RP are totally doing it.

    • @leighmm i will cry so hard if KS and RP are really doing it. SO HARD

  • Sass

    I held my mom’s hand at the mall the other day..only for a few seconds…does that make me an incestuous lesbian?


  • vickybonnett

    leighmm….NOOOOO! Rpattz has way better taste than that! Maybe Nikki is just trying to distract Kstew so she can get her hands on Rob herself.

    And the plot thickens…muahahaha!

    • i love that everyone is saying muhahaha all the time- i think we have moon to thank for that ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Mrs. P.

    I so thought that when I was watching the Vanity fair thing, and all the premiere shots of them holding hands, I was like…hmmm… I haven’t held a friends hand since I was in second grade, and the teacher told us to buddy up when we had to cross the street! This is just weird, aren’t they supposed to be adults? ACT LIKE IT!! LET GO…give each other emotional support if need be….but holding hands with your BFF….while your boyfriend is standing right there…WTF!!! WEIRD :{

  • sam

    @vickybonnett, we all know that every girl on the twilight cast is trying to get there hands at our Rob. But hopefully he has enough sense to realize that none of them are good enough for him… and one day he’ll realize that we’ve been waiting for him right here all along! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • vickybonnett

    @UC Well, I think we should we do what we can to make the world a better place, while still staying focused on our goal…gettin’ some Rpattz! *chants to herself, “I can do two things at once, I can do two things at once…”

  • christapie

    I wonder if my avatar will be back when I hit enter. Cross your fingers.

    I’m Meh about the whole hand holding thing. Whatever. But I might just be saying that because I’m afraid of what it means that I drive a Subaru. I’m even more afraid of what it means that it’s a hand-me-down from my Mom. File that under Things That Make You Go Hmm.

  • PREACH! this is what i like to call “real talk!”

    LOL i love this one… especially the part about michael having to worry about nikki and not rob. DUH.

    @leigh anne – OF COURSE they’ll be smoking, they’re such rebels. they’re SOOO hardcore. they have to remind us 24/7

    @sass- no i hold my moms arm all the time

  • Mrs. P.

    my brother used to get in trouble in elementary school for writing muuaahahaha on all of his Creative Writing assignments…He watched a LOT of cartoons, and thought it was something people ACTUALLY said. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • christapie

    Crap. My old avatar is back. That’s not the one that was there last night when I posted. Hating the Gravatar right now!

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  • “Maybe Nikki is just holding onto KStew b/c she’s obviously plastered.” LMAO
    Hey, I love Kris…a girl can dream that she’s a lesbian.
    But yes, Stop being fake lesbians and give the real girls that love you hope. That’s my statement.

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  • Mel_Run

    So what if they hold hand when they go places alot of friend`s do that ( some people wont agree with me) but i see it all the time and none of them are gay or lesbian.
    and if they are lesbian what`s it to you last time i checked it was their live`s and not your`s.
    if they were hooking up maybe you would have something to talk about && they were seen hooking up so what!!…It actually make`s them better yall

    • the sad thing is…. we believe they are no longer fake lesbians ๐Ÿ™ they seem to have broken up their fake lesbian-ship.

      i would also like the stress the importance of the word “fake” since that wasn’t obvious enough for you in this post! THANKS for commenting!

  • emily

    holy fuck get over it. let them be fake lesbians if they want.

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