To Michael Oregano:
Dear Michael Arangano,
Hey. I know I haven’t been the nicest to you in the past, so I’m writing to apologize. Plus you’re kinda cute in this picture, and that’s the first time I’ve thought that. So good job.
Anyway, I’ve been feeling kinda bad for you with all the tweens of the world hoping for a KStew + RPattz hook-up and all. That’s really gotta suck, especially when you’re competing with this guy.
So, I wanna let you know I’m on your side. I’m really, really hoping you and Kristen pull through all the drama and the (at least) two more Twilight-saga movies she’s gotta do and stay in love ‘n stuff. And I’m not just saying that b/c I’m selfish and want her to keep her grimey little hands off of Rob. Well, I’m 90% saying that b/c I don’t want her touching Rob, but 10% of me just doesn’t want to see true love fail, ya know?
I know what you’re asking. Why now, UnintendedChoice? Why all the love when all this time you’ve made fun of me for how I look, for the fact that I was in Seabiscuit and called me Michael Oregano? It’s a fair question because I didn’t think this day would come, but I kind of got a glimpse of how you feel on a daily basis with all this Kris/Rob shizzat when I saw this picture last night:
Those are some CRAZY fans with CRAZY photoshopping skillz. (Source) and I’ll be honest, for a split second I thought it was real (and his hair is SHORT, so you know it was recent) until I realized Perez posted that pic of his face last week.
So, I feel awful for you (and for me- how do you think I feel seeing Rob in bed with a ho beautiful young woman?) and wanted to let you know I’m on Team Michael Oregano (it’s a cute name, I’m not stopping, take what you can get) Oh- and yesterday I randomly came across Robert/Kristen fan fiction (yep, not Edward/Bella fan fiction, but a love story about ROBERT AND KRISTEN) No, I will not post the link because it’s too 2nd hand embarassing (well, it’s 90% b/c it’s 2nd hand embarassing and 10% because I’m embarassed that I read all 9 chapters at work.)
Also, I wanted to let you know that apparently Kristen is preggers, although I think it’s probably Michael Welch’s baby. You know he and Kristen were playing “Bella decides to stay human and has a boring life with Mike Newton” in her trailer.