To my husband, the newest unicorn –
I have bugged you for months about Twilight, annoyed you would probably be the more appropriate term. You despised it and I’m pretty sure the eye rolling was an uncontrollable reflex every time the words “Twilight” or “Robert Pattinson” crossed my lips. And I was fine with that, I mean, you’re a guy. You’re supposed to hate Twilight, right?
Then something happened. When Twilight came out on DVD, we bought it and you sat down with me to watch it. And you liked it. Not just tolerated it, but actually enjoyed the movie. We watched all the special features together. You found the vampire kiss scenes just as crazy sexy as I did. The next day, we watched the commentary together. You found Rob as irresistible as me and offered him the number 3 spot on your man crush list.
And I was happy. The eye rolling stopped and you didn’t completely shut down whenever I started talking Twilight. But, when asked to read the book, you said no. You’re not much of a reader anyway, so that was cool.
Once again, something happened. The other night, you started spouting off knowledge about Twilight that could not have been collected while watching the movie. You talked about how Edward didn’t run off after the accident, and how Eric’s role just seemed to be a little larger than it should have been in the movie. When you saw my complete look of shock, you picked up the Twilight book and said, “I’m almost done with chapter 3″ and showed me where you were in the book. “I would have been farther along, but (our son) keeps taking the book and telling me, ‘No, that’s mommy’s book.'”
And now, right after our 5 year wedding anniversary, I realized I have married a genuine unicorn. And I couldn’t be happier!
Your loving wife,
P.S. Also, thanks for being cool about Rob and the whole freebie list thing. Oh, and the coupons I used to attempt to morph you into a Rob clone.
Get ready.. after the jump we have our first gay unicorn- YES! Best.Day.Ever
When I first found out this anonymous gay unicorn was a fan, I, of course, wanted to know who his fav Cullen was. He told me, “My favorite TwiGuy is definitely Kellan Lutz–I’m a total ho for the frat boy type.”
What is it about you that reminds me of a cooler older brother, the
one that you wrestle with in the living room and that takes you
camping sometimes, and teaches you how to pick up your first chick?
Is it those wholesome all-American good looks from growing up in North
Dakota? Or is just because you look like you’d be fun to hang out
with and chill–watchin’ Lost on DVD, playing some video games….
What’d you think of the new version of Street Fighter? (I have it on
Playstation, wanna play sometime?)
Speaking of electronics, I gotta check out your watch collection sometime, I bet it’s pretty sick–was that a cell phone or
LED TV watch you had on, I couldn’t tell? You’re always wearing a
different cool one.
I heard you went snowboarding a few weekends back–what’d you hit?
Whistler? Amazing slopes up there near vancouver if you haven’t been
Of course, I never had a big brother, so I’m not sure what one is
really supposed to be like–but maybe it’s a good thing– after
looking at you flaunt your mantertainment bits, I wouldn’t want to
think of you as a brother .
I think it’d be fun to hang out sometime though! Street Fighter IV,
whatever. I got the other systems too if you wanna play something
else–Mario Kart? Halo? Your choice man!
Nothing weird or homo–just two dudes, some six packs, and a couple of
I just know Kellan would love to give you one of his famous Kellan-bear hugs!