Monday Funnies: It's Monday, I'm at work and I'd rather be reading Twilight. FML

(We’re gonna play a little game… every time I tell you you’re going to hit the button in this link when I tell you to and then proceed… NOW don’t hit it YET until I say so… alright aaaaand GO…)

Dear LTT-er’s-

It’s once again  Monday (hit it!), and the debauchery of the weekend is now a distant memory (except that hickey) (hit it!) and instead of being curled up in bed reading Twilight or out with your friends wildin’ out or getting your drunk on in the Friday Night Crunk thread at the forum, we’re at work (hit it!). So in lieu of crying into your spreadsheets or that 3rd cup of coffee, let’s take a trip around the internet and laugh our faces off together.

Now you KNOW Twilight is getting big when entries on two of my favorite sites: F*ck My Life and Texts From Last Night start popping up and mention the saga. For the uninitiated, F My Life (FML) is a daily dose of short anecdotes based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with “Today” and end with “FML”. When my friend sent me this one I KNEW I had to share…

click to maximum LOL's

click to maximum LOL's

(Hit the button!)

Now my newest favorite website is Textsfromlastnight.com and I just happened to catch a few today that you have to see. TFLN is a site where people submit texts messages they’ve received or sent after a particularly awesome or terrible night!

clicky for maximum LOL's

clicky for maximum LOL's

(Hit it!)

Who hasn’t sat around wondering things like this on occasion? Why didn’t the Cullens use their powers for good like killing Bin Laden (hit it!), or to help save the polar bears from extinction (hit it!), or heck, how come the Cullens couldn’t stop Sparks from never being produced again (hit it!)?! On these occasions I may or may not have been drunk.

clicky for maximum LOL's

clicky for maximum LOL's

(hit it!)

Capt Crunch donuts AND Jasper Hale? COME ON! Where and how do I get both of these delivered to my office right now? Oh wait… one’s a fictional character (hit it!).

Now I dare you to get through a day without wanting to use the button after your boss tells you you need to come in early tomorrow or finding out you’re up for a yearly review but because of the economy, all raises have been suspended (hit it!)

Now back to work kids! (hit it!)
Themoonisdown

PS While you’re in the forum today don’t forget to check out the video topic where the lovely Jena is going to be bringing us the very best in moving images! I saw a sneak peek of todays and I highly suggest you keep the button handy!

  • ANDREA

    Who hasn’t sat around wondering things like this on occasion? Why didn’t the Cullens use their powers for good like killing Bin Laden (hit it!), or help save the polar bears from extinction (hit it!), or heck, how come the Cullens couldn’t stop Sparks from never being produced again (hit it!)?!

    LOL =O) I think that Emmett could somehow have contributed to the nearly extinction of the polar bear… no idea about the other ones though

    (great post as always, girl. “She was talking about a fictional character”… classic!!)

  • http://www.lulaville.com Leigh Anne

    My life is almost complete, now that Jasper Hale and Cap’n Crunch have been mentioned in the same sentence.

    Put Alice Cullen and Toaster Scramblers (the Sausge, Egg and Cheese one) in the same sentence and I can die happily.

    • themoonisdown

      sign me up to try those out. jasper + alice + breakfast foods = heaven!

  • kjp

    I just laughed so hard there are tears in my eyes! You never disappoint on Monday morning. Clearly I have to add these 2 new sites to my daily procrastination time.

  • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

    i think this post will go down in history as my fav moon post. ‘bravo, bravo!”

    and i will (hit it) all day long (that’s what she said)

    • themoonisdown

      the button is my favorite thing EVER!! we intercom people in our office and hit it and say nothing else. talk about awesome!

  • alyssabender1

    Lol that is a great button.
    And thanks so much for the textsfromlastnight site. Wow. Def my new favorite site.

  • Marama

    There is some pretty funny captioned pics on this site.
    In case you need more laughs =]
    http://rpattzadventures.blogspot.com/

  • Melissa

    omg..this post was truly amazing..FML is one of my favorites and now i can hardly wait to read some amazing WTF texts..and the fail button = pure win.

  • http://webgal79.blogspot.com mabeswife

    Oh, thanks for making my Monday start out great. I’m determined to have a great day, so I’ll “hit it” whenever I’m starting to feel the Monday blues coming on. That’s guaranteed to make me laugh!

    • themoonisdown

      the button is the perfect cure for a crappy day! HIT IT!

  • Jena

    LMAO! And now I wonder what captain crunch donuts taste like! btw, last weekend I stayed with a family in Ft. Collins, CO who’s 4 year old can’t say “donuts” and instead says “no nuts”. Heh!

  • http://www.twitter.com/midnightsunco Li Li

    Dang! I wish I could experience all the goodness of this post– but my work is blocking the two sites. It lists the following:
    sexually explict
    adult
    language
    as reasons it is being blocked. Srsly?? Any site worth looking at has all these qualities– DUH.

    (hit it!)

    • themoonisdown

      perfect use of HIT IT!

      and yes those sites are super rad. do that when you get home!

  • LaPush Baby

    Bahahahahaha!!

    So glad to start off Monday laughing. I love that FML site, because you can always read about someone else’s crappier-than-you day……I can’t wait to read some TFLN!

    You know I’ll will “hit it” like it’s Monday all day. (uh, that’s what she said). Is there anyway to put that button on your sidebar? ’cause that would be awesome.

    • themoonisdown

      i need that button in my REAL LIFE… walking down the sidewalk a bird craps on you HIT IT!

      at a restaurant they bring out your no cheese burger with LOTS of cheese HIT IT!

  • Jess W

    **LOVE** Thank you so much for making me laugh, I need it today!

  • http://thebrowniequeen.blogspot.com/ Marta

    *sigh*

    Cannot fully appreciate the post b/c this linky link doesn’t work @ work!!

    ajkfhwsghjwhgwgighwgsjgege!!!!!

    Loved the post though! I need to start checking that FML site. I think my friend or brother told me about that Twi-post you posted.

    Ok, off to the Forum (if it works?).

  • krazykidd

    Awww this would actually be better if i was at work and could see what the ‘hit it’ button does….Dang website blocker!!! LOL O well I guess i have to wait till i get home now!!! :) Happy Monday!

  • http://www.stuck-in-the-sticks.blogspot.com Tiffany

    LMAO My coworkers think I’m watching the Price is Right.

    And I LOVE Texts from last night. They were talking about it on the radio last week and I was dying laughing. But some of those really make you think. Sad huh? LOL

    • themoonisdown

      seriously tinkerbelle stop staring at me!!! making me want to hug my computer!

  • http://www.twilight.blogspot.com Jenny Jerkface

    Oh. Mah. Gawd. TFLN is AMAZING!! Thank you!! I thought passiveaggressivenotes.com was the best non-Twi site but I think this just took the cake!!

    • themoonisdown

      i LOVE passiveaggressivenotes!!!!

      • http://www.twitarded.blogspot.com Jenny Jerkface

        YES!! I KNEW you were beyond awesome! LOL! I love that site! That and ‘the best of craigs list”

  • vickyb

    @Moon this was awesome. The Fail button is way better and funnier than the stupid Easy button and strangely enough more useful in my life…FML!

    Happy Monday!

  • myria101

    I saw the FML one a month or two ago and I cracked up like no other!! I love that you added it to the Monday Funnies. And whoever said the thing about Jasper…I wanna be your bff (even though you should have said Jackson or Jacksper…whichevs).

    M

  • lilcrazycow

    I will definitely be using that button… And, that’s a very good question about Hitler… Just those things that make you go, “hhhmmm?”

    • themoonisdown

      use that when my mom makes beets. HIT IT!

  • http://www.joebendesigns.wordpress.com Amber

    The button has now been added as one of my favorites. Will use next time boss brings the bad news. (Also, the whole raises suspended thing… thanks for reminding me.) (hit it!)

  • Sherin

    Thanks for making my Monday !!! so I went went to TFLN and I cracked up when I read this ” he is so far in the closet he’s in narnia” another great site to go to for some laughs

  • Sara

    I just discovered textsfromlastnight on Friday and definitely laughed hysterically at both of those twilight ones. There’s a new twilight one up too although no where near as funny as those.

    I’m thinking a unicorn was the originator:

    (610): Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
    (570): No

    • http://spreadhopelikefire.wordpress.com Jordan

      Two things:

      1. Loved the post, Moon! Also loved your above comment about intercom’ing (just created that verb) co-workers only to hit the button.

      2. Sara – That text totally makes me think of a couple of exchanges I’ve had with friends. For example, one I had the day after I discovered (and got hooked on) Twilight, sometime last November, went something like this:

      Me: so, I was at hastings last night and, because I was curious, grabbed a copy of Twilight
      Me: well. HUUUGE MISTAKE
      Dude Friend: hahahahahahaha PLEASE tell me you love it, because that would be so f*cking brutal
      Me: oh, dude, I ended up reading the first 100 pages in the store before being snapped out of my trance, then I bought it
      Dude Friend: OMG I LOVE YOU. you are my favorite person ever and I’m buying you a Twilight shirt from work
      Me: YES YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO IT
      Dude Friend: I WAS KIDDING! DAMN IT ALL! I’M GOING TO END YOU

  • http://twitarded.blogspot.com Snarkier Than You

    I have no idea how I would get through another dreary Monday without you guys – and that button. The “Price is Right” “wha-wha-wha-whaaaa…” sound is fantastic! I need that on my desktop. Or maybe I can hook it to my phone system somehow and when I am dealing with demanding, crabby clients I can hit it and then just disconnect them… (They will understand.)

    Is it almost Friday??? No? Can I drink vodka and Red Bull cocktails on a Monday afternoon???

    • themoonisdown

      sneak it in a coffee mug no one will know.

      till they find you passed out under your desk. at least thats what happened to me. HIT IT!

  • superhumanmoron

    I feel liked I just sucked at a game of Plinko.

    • superhumanmoron

      *like*

  • http://86rabbit.wordpress.com ’86 Rabbit

    @Moon – that was the best. Loved the (hit it). Still trying to think of ways to spring that on an unsuspecting OMB later today.

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  • http://admittedlyobsessed.blogspot.com Jen

    Love this one . . .Sorry I’m still catching up on archives but really, Jasper and Captain Crunch . . . .mmmmmmmmmm!

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