Birthday Wishes for Robert Pattinson from the Twilight crew

Dear Rob,

Yes. We realize there is an entire site dedicated to you (LetterstoRob, holla) but today is ALL about YOU! It is your birthday, afterall! So happy birthday from us, UC & Moon. We’re just popping in here quickly to tell you we collected birthday wishes or gifts from your favorite castmates from The Twilight Saga. And boy are they awesome! We hope you enjoy them!

Love,
UC & Moon

PS don’t forget to check out the party at the forum in YOUR honor and the very special edition of Letters to Rob!

this could be YOU rob! (click to enlarge! trust!)

this could be YOU rob! (click to enlarge! trust!)

Jackson Rathbone
For your birthday, you get to spend some time in the Banana suit that randomly travels around with my band, 100Monkeys. Don’t question the reason for the banana. Just jump in the suit and have a good time. Oh, and try not to sweat too much. That thing is a bitch to wash so we haven’t done it, ever. But don’t worry- we bought it only slightly used and it’s been around since ’92, so it’s good quality. Happy birthday, banana man!

Kellan Lutz

Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them

Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them

Today, Rob, I am burdened with prayer for you. I committ, as your accountability partner, to spend at least one hour in constant prayer for you today. I will pray for a variety things such as your inability to get over Kristen, your smoking habit, for your protection from the Pattinson Pants & Pattinson Tattoo ladies and that you will find the strength to do the necessary exercises to obtain a 6 pack such as mine. I’d also love to go clubbing with you later, if you’re up for it. I met some smokin’ hot ladies in Hollywood last night that I bet we can witness to, ifyouknowwhatimsaying (wink wink!). Prayin’ that it’s a kick-ass birthday, man!

Eat your heart out Rob!

Eat your heart out Rob!

Ashley Greene

Rob, it’s clear to me that you need another $103 LNA zip-up hoodie so I’m gonna take you to Kitson to get one! It’s on me.. No, no no, I don’t want you paying. Oh fine, you can contribute your budgeted amount for a hoodie. What’s that $40 or $50..? Oh… three dollars? Are you kidding me? Robbie, I think they charge more than that to walk in the door at Kitson…. Oh well, Happy Birthday anyway you cheap-ass friend. Oh and seriously you like THOSE girls more than me?? Hummmppphh. Maybe I should get you a brain and a pair of eyeballs for your birthday instead of a hoodie.
XO

Hair hair haaaair, long beautiful hair!

Hair hair haaaair, long beautiful hair!

Rachelle Lefevre

Hey Rob, as we all know one of the main things you’re known for is your hair. I mean remember all the hoopla in December when you cut it off? Or all the questions on the Twilight press junket about your hair and how you never wash it and how it has a life of it’s own? Yea, well we all remember it very well cause we were asked non stop about it. Thanks. So for your birthday I’m going to give you free hair tips since mine is so faboo. I’m also going to teach you how to wash it every few days so people will stop asking that question! I’ll also introduce you to this awesome dry shampoo that you spray into your hair to soak up the grease. It’s a gift

Forget those little girls Rob... grrrr!

Forget those little girls Rob... grrrr!

from God himself. And then I’ll let you let me scratch your head and massage your hair follicles to encourage growth. What? You’ve never heard of that? Just go with it babe. Trust me.

Elizabeth Reaser

Rob, I saw how you were looking at me during the Vanity Fair photoshoot. You couldn’t keep your eyes off me, if I do say so myself. So for your birthday I’m going to teach you the ways of a real mature woman! Forget these GIRLS… I’ll show you ALL the tricks you’ll ever need and then leave you wanting more you’ll be prepared for your future girlfriends.

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!!

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!! (click to enlarge)

Taylor Lautner

Hey man, it’s a big day for you and I know you have to juggle a lot what with you “being” Edward and all the crazy fans who follow you to your hotel and trying to put off the fact that everyone thinks you and Kristen are bumping uglies. Let me give you a pointer: get with a Disney girl and walk around with umbrellas and hug in the rain. Everyone will be too blinded by the cuteness to ever care or think to care about you two doing da nasty. TRUST.

Oh and Selena told me to tell you she’ll let you know what happens at the end of this season of Wizards of Waverly Place if you’ll autograph her Edward body glitter container.

Some Enchanted Evening. Prom: 1990never

Some Enchanted Evening. Prom: 1990never

Stephenie Meyer

Rob for your birthday I want to rewrite Breaking Dawn so that Bella chooses Jacob and you Edward realizes his mistake and he actually marries Ms. Stephenie Meyer Cope, the older more mature woman in Twilight and you take her off to Isle Esme. I’m also going to rewrite the part where you Edward takes my Ms. Cope’s hand and pulls her DEEPER into the water… to read more like my actual NC-17 dream that I had about how the honeymoon REALLY went down. So if you’ll fly down to Phoenix this weekend we can just run through a couple positions ideas I’ve come up with and see what works and what doesn’t. You’ll glower and I’ll show my chagrin and it’ll be awesome! This is really going to be AVN Oscar Awards worthy! I can’t wait!!!

  • Pingback: In 1986 Clare Pattinson turned some tricks: Happy Birthday Rob! « Letters to Rob()

  • Steph

    I can’t believe I’m first! Yipppeee!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROB! Obviously, we all love you and wish you the best.

    “Friends are friends forever….” Hee, hee.

  • http://www.lulaville.com Leigh Anne

    ELIZABETH REASER FOR THE WIN!!!!!!! That’s fantastic!!!! And true. Every word.

    These letters are hardcore.

    As are Moon and UC.

    • maygirl

      I love that section too. Seriously girls give a link so that I see for myself.

    • themoonisdown

      she understand he will need a little extra ‘coaching’ and i think you know what i mean by that!

  • twihigh

    These letters are awesome!

    But I was really looking forward to the greetings from Peter (the Cullens without Carlisle is almost as big a crime as the Cullens without Edward), Nikki (methinks they’re not in the best of terms right now but she won’t pass up the chance for any kind of publicity) and who else? Oh yeah … Kristen (needs no further explanation).

    I have faith in you guys. :)

    • ANDREA

      OME!! You are right!! Where is Peter’s? I’m sure he was busy with his kids but he will sen his wish later and the girls will post it right away. Won’t you?

    • themoonisdown

      yea they didnt get their letters and well wishes turned into us in time to make the deadline… too busy trying to get ‘caught’ by the paps.

  • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

    Kristen was too busy making him a homemade gift. i don’t know what it is yet.. stay tuned:)

    • twihigh

      Lord, let it be a sex tape. LOL! I, for one, like Kristen with Rob. Sure she can be a b*tch, but Rob’s obviously very taken with her. ;)

  • AmourPSU

    I’m pretty sure Kristen is too high to remember the gift, I mean sure she started to think about getting him something besides her bony ass, but then got high again, and then ate a bag of Doritos, and then smoked a pack of cigerattes then got high again. She’ll remember it was his brithday in about 3.5 days from now when she can’t get a hold of her dealer.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROB. I’m not back to being only 6 years older than you! :-)

    • AmourPSU

      Okay, quickly fixing my typo…

      I’m NOW back to being only 6 years older than you! phew…

      • http://thebrowniequeen.blogspot.com/ Marta

        6 1/2 for moi!!

        That’s not so bad, right? I mean, u have to take his maturity level into account, and my IMaturity. So, yeah. We’re, like, the same age.

        ;-)

        • AmourPSU

          I completely agree. I mean, I don’t feel a day over 25 and that’s much closer to his age. Sometimes I act 18, so he’ll especially like that.

    • krazykidd

      Or maybe she already gave him his gift last night…wink wink!! ;)

    • themoonisdown

      amour- how’d you know??!!! ;) she gets distracted easily!

      • AmourPSU

        Just made a wild guess! ;-) For sure wasn’t speaking to any experience in the matter or have any stoner friends to use as an example. Nah – she just screams Doritos!

  • malia

    “You’ll glower and I’ll show my chagrin and it’ll be awesome!”

    i laughed out loud!

    • themoonisdown

      oh smeyer! we love your overuse of certain words!

      ;)

      • AmourPSU

        She also might incredulously scowl at his beautiful perfect face.

        • http://spreadhopelikefire.wordpress.com Jordan

          Or, she might murmur, “Robward, I’m irrevocably in love with you.”

    • milfy goodness

      you forgot to mention that Rob would be hard, like marble or a stone. Mmm hard Rob. *slips into vivid daydream* . . .

    • milfy goodness

      hm – wordpress did not like my reply. Maybe it was insulted that I cut on smeyer. And who am I to judge? Do I have 5 published novels? no.

      Anyway, my little joke was – when you come to Phoenix to . . . uh – workshop – the new version of Twilight, remember Rob, you have to be hard as a stone. Or as hard as marble. Or still like a stone cut out of marble. That is really hard.

      Hard Rob. Yum.

  • http://www.joebendesigns.wordpress.com Amber

    Dear Rob,

    Please don’t catch Swine Flu whilst wearing the banana! Say it with me: Lysol, handsanitzer, repeat!

    Thanks babe (& happy b-day!),
    Amber

  • krazykidd

    Happy Birthday Rob!!! Now I don’t feel like such a skeez for wanting to jump your 22 yr old bones…now your 23 YES!!!! One year older and better!! So its ok for me to covet you now!!! :)

  • maygirl

    Ashley is HOTTT and too GOOD to be true. Yeah I her you girl, give him a brain and eyeballs to see you clearly.

  • http://isuckatbloggingbuticanbite.blogspot.com/ Janetrigs

    Awesome! And I am glad you above commentors have realized what KSTew was busy doing, or rather not doing.

    Anyhow, HAPPY BDAY #RPattz

    • themoonisdown

      busy smokin’ up ;) or staging her 2 person musical with oregano!

  • http://www.twitter.com/Too_Far_Gone Too_Far_Gone

    Agreed, Elizabeth Reaser = ALL WIN

    And I am a Pattinson Fox, not a Cougar… but I still think she would win

    • themoonisdown

      a fox you are!

  • sassysmart

    Ashley is my new celebrity girl-crush.

    I want to be a fake-lesbian with her.

    Oh and Happy Birthday Rob.

  • Tashita

    Pabien! Wishing you a happy day.
    Greetings from Holland/curacao

  • Jena

    This is all brilliant! LMAO! Great photo placements, my favorite is the Selena hug, LMAO! And the banana suit, LOL! I <3 ur creative minds!

    Happy Birthday, Rob!

    • themoonisdown

      looks like shes squeezing his head off!

      • movingtoforks

        that’s what she said
        hee hee

  • LoveFreedom

    Happy Birthday ROB!!!!

    Stay the wonderful self YOU are and that WE LOVE> soooooo
    much as you can tell….WE wish YOU EVERY HAPPINESS!!!!!

    Always be FREE TO BE YOU!!! CHEERS!!!

  • LaPush Baby

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROB!!

    I am totally kicking in some bucks with Ashley for the hoodie, if you like, I will buy you two!! That’s the other bonus about being with more –ahem–Mature Women, we have our own money, so you know that isn’t what we are after! It’s just you….

    *great post ladies*, He’s going to lurve it!! I must say that a close up of Rob and Esme in the VF photo shoot may be in order, it was a long time ago that you ‘broke it down’.

  • http://www.stuck-in-the-sticks.blogspot.com Tiffany

    LMAO Who knew Stephenie was so in love with Rob? Oh every freaking body!!!

    And Rachelle is so pretty in that pic. Ash is HOTT!! WTF are you doing Rob?

    P.S. Thanks for leaving Kshrew and her girlfriend off the list.

    • themoonisdown

      amen and amen. we couldnt deal with them on this most holy of national holidays.

      • milfy goodness

        On this most holy of national holidays! snarf!

  • sun_lover

    Happy Birthday Rob!!

    Ashley definitely needs to get some Robcrotch, but Kellen is praying for you! And thanks for not putting KStew on this list….I’m over that.

  • Kristin

    “You’ll glower and I’ll show my chagrin and it’ll be awesome! ”

    OMG, BEST. LINE. EVER.

    hahahahaha….this post was so full of win I had to read it twice! ;)

    oh yeah, Happy Birthday Sex Hair! 23 never looked so good………….

    • themoonisdown

      johnny sex hair!

  • xochitl delgado

    omg rob!!!!! happy b-day!!!!! i love you !!!!!! hope ur b-day wishes come true!!! <3

  • Proseltye3

    Oh dear God you girls are srsly funny!

    The M.W. Smith caption and Kellan’s gift…oh. my. golly!

    Glad I’m not the only ‘church girl’ out there with wicked humor! It’s all good.

  • brittany

    yayyy rob’s birthday!! i’ve been counting down the days :) haha. i went all around school saying “it’s robert pattinson’s birthday today!!!” and everyone didn’t know, and i was shocked and disappointed. but, i shared my knowledge with the clueless ones.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROB <33

    • themoonisdown

      teach the other the way brittany!

  • Beth

    Happy Birthday 23rd Rob! Enjoy your night I am sure you’ll be partying in up until whee hours of the morning…Have a few drinks for me :) Wish I could celebrate with ya…Je’Taime

  • http://onaspecialdiet.blogspot.com/ jocose

    “TRUST”. lol…

    happy bday, rob!

    On A Special Diet

  • Pingback: MTV Presents: 23 Reasons to Love Robert Pattinson « A Never Ending Twilight()

  • Ruby

    Happy b-day Robert.
    Have fun!

  • Ruby

    Happy b-day Robert.
    Have fun! May all your wishes come true.

  • Pingback: Top Posts « WordPress.com()

    • themoonisdown

      YEAAA we rule!!!!!!! top post for today!

  • http://yahhoorMyspace Emily McCall

    hey i know it is a little late but dand i dont care how late it is i wanna say happy birth day to rob to.HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! well gosh i wish i could met him one day maybe if i become an actress(my dream) i will meat him. Rob do you actually wanna get older or start gettin younger.

  • mrs.clivehandjob

    Oh Rob,
    If you could only have as much fun on your birthday as we are having here. snort. Count me in as one of the RobCats. MEOW.
    Reason no. 23 to love Rob- his hair has taken a life of it’s own.
    Dry shampoo “A gift from God Himself.” lmao
    love ya,
    me

    • themoonisdown

      it is! i swear by dry shampoo!

  • http://yahhoorMyspace Emily McCall

    ohyeah forgot to put this today is may 13, 2009. And i love you rob wooooh you are a sexy beast! dont think your ugly i bet any girl would die to be ur girlfriend. i mean i would and u peeps that dont SHAME ON YOU!!!

  • http://thepenks.wordpress.com thepenks

    happy b’day yaw… cant wait twillight: new moon..

  • http://86rabbit.wordpress.com ’86 Rabbit

    Happy Birthday, Rob! I’m still up, so who cares if it’s past midnight? If it’s not dawn, it’s still your birthday. Did I mention I’m still up? Call me.

    Great post girls! Truly worthy of Robday. I’m almost afraid of what I’ll find over on LTR if the birthday post is this good over here.

    How perfect is it that I Want You To Want Me came on while I was reading this?

  • twilighhtt ffaaaannn’

    eyy u goottaa bee kiddiinng me thiss is not cool & seriouslyy dont likee itt stephanie meyer never said that! u asholes! & yeahh i love twilight with all my heartt * & robb does wazhh his hair ok victoria never said that too! leave himm alonee and robb i protect you (: buut i donntt love uu
    twilighhtt itz greeaaaattt’

  • twilighhtt ffaaaannn’

    ok i acceppttt theyree funnyyy buutt … ughhh i dontt like to make fun of peoplleee

    haappyyy birthhaaayyyy robbb.!

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