Rating the New Moon Trailer

Dear Twi-hards,

Introducing Moon & UC Grade something. It’s just like Breaking-it Down Vanity Fair Style, but just with us. Sometimes The Quad is busy & this is just easier. Today we grade the New Moon Trailer. Oh, you haven’t seen it? Clearly you’re not a real fan, but we’ll let it slide. Check it out then let us know if you agree with our grade scale:

Love,
UC & Moon

Here’s a fun game. See if you can count how many times we say “Dude”

Moon: Wanna break down the trailer, right now?
UC: Yes. This feels so forced. Like we scheduled sex. 6/1/09 9:00 pm SEX
Moon: Let me close the door (sounds like we’re doing something dirrrrty)
UC: dude i’m drunk. Okay I’m reading. i mean. i’m ready
Moon:  one second let me enlarge this sucker
UC:  that’s what she said

chesttouchEdward & Bella
Moon:  ok so he says “you’re my only reason to stay.. alive.. IF thats what i am”
WHAT?!
UC:  The husband just said “such predictable dialogue” Um, no commentary from you, thank you very much
Moon:  it’s stephenie meyer- everything is predictable.  So…what Edward says doesnt even make sense
UC: “you’re my only reason to stay alive..if that’s what i am.” What does that mean!?
Moon:  WHAT?!
UC:  WHEN is that part?
Moon: It’s in the cullen house. Before the bday party?? Maybe after? Either way that line makes no sense, but he could speak pig latin and i’d listen
UC: “ihay ovelay youhay obray.” It’s kinda sexy.. the way she’s all up on his chest.. with her hand. I’m kinda turned on right now. DAMNIT 3rd glass of wine
Moon:  he could be like “i farted cause i ate a bean buritto” and i’d be like WOW- profound
Moon:  ok not really but ya know. It’s like when someone speaks a different langauge than you and it sounds hot even if they’re asking where the bathroom is. He’s working THAT
UC: He totally is. He’s working that sexy, drool-worthy voice that you know he doens’t have in real life. In between takes he was totally burping Kristen’s name

Rose rocks a hot bitchface

Rose rocks a hot bitchface

The Party (:31)
Moon:  we need to break down the outfits
UC:  first impression: House..l.. um YES… major win over the last house, which i loved
Moon:  yea i LOVED the last house. I want to MARRY the last house
UC:  House= win. so romantic. I so hope that the hubby does that exact thing for our annivesary celebration tonight.
Moon:  the two houses don’t look like they go together
UC:  i want to marry THIS house. They’re diff houses, but I love them both. This is an upgrade. Let’s discuss the coloring. It’s great. I wasn’t against the blue. I liked the blue. It was depressing, rainy. I thought it was nice, but the warm golden colors? I like
Moon: The blue color was dreary twilight, and I think the change to warn tones reflects the change to the wolves and earthy shiz like the quilutes. LOVE the new look
UC:  Um Alice= my bff. She shoulda worn THAT Sunday night to MTV cuz it’s major win. Also notice NO showing of Nikki/Rosalie except for one bitch-face moment that I’m about to screen cap
Moon:  No joke, Ash’s wig is better than her bouffant from last night
Moon:  Rose looks hot for once and not like she fell out of a TJ Max sale rack like she did in Twilight.
UC:  right. Ross Black Friday special
Moon:  seriouisly lest we forget her ACID wash jeans
UC:  she goes well with uncle jesse
UC: Esme? Uh, make me a vamp now and make her my mama
Moon:  Esme will always be hot and timeless. NEED that dress
UC:  WILL BUY that dress on ebay. For $7,000 if I have to. Will fight over any Twimom to get it.

jasperbuffont

"Won't you be my supper?"

UC:  so far I’m in love with Chris Weitz. Can we discuss the manly sound we hear “Alice that cake could feed 50. you guys don’t even eat”
UC:  It’s like Kristen said “damn, it’s 3am, i don’t give a F*ck… i’m gonna sound like it’s 3am. Or like I ate a frog.”
Moon:  uh JASPER- aka:  Mr Rogers cardigan and a poodle wig
UC:  SO nasty! Seriously. Almost as bad as sweat fest 2009 at the khyber in philly
Moon:  he’s all top heavy with that hair, makes him look like a pinhead. I’m so sad and underwhelmed.  Sweatfest was better

Not so fast, you sweaty monkey, you

Not so fast, you sweaty monkey, you

The dramatic, small flesh wound (:43)
Moon: Jasper running is ridiculous! totes diff than how i imagined it but awesome
UC: poor piano
Moon:  next time i get a papercut im going to fling whatever it is im holding in the air. totally dramatic “OW PAPERCUT!”
UC:  Yes! Then throw someone on the piano! And ruin it. Even though it’s an antique from the 1800s that Bach played in the 1600. F*ck it. Who cares.
Moon:  thats how you react to small flesh wounds
UC:  Caust it’s a MUCH bigger deal than Bella getting her period
Moon:  dude you can totally see the harness and wires on jasper/stunt double. It’s all rumbled and a big square thing on his back
UC: Rush job!
Moon: yes definite rush job
UC:  Insert note from the Hubby “how many times do you think you’re gonna watch that clip? You probably should a bunch more. You don’t want to miss any foreshadowing or symbolism” (this is where I get my wonderful sarcasm)

See where Bella gets sad and Chris Hansen comes after us, after the jump


I just really thought, after 6 months and a fake romance on a TV show, that Chad was the one

I just really thought, after 6 months and a fake romance on a TV show, that Chad was the one

In the Woods (:57)
UC: Seriously… Kristen.. in the woods? equals Sophia Bush. I wanna hug her and ask if she’s healed from her 3 month marriage to Chad Michael Murray. And also ask how the freak their show is still on TV when The OC was canceled years ago
Moon:  It’s like the bad break up- he can’t even look at her, he’s delivering the “its not you it’s me” speech to the forest floor
UC: she’s wearing TONS of make up in that field
Moon:  I would run after him and attach myself to his leg. You don’t let Edward walk away
UC:  no you hold on tight. You hump it if you have to. Silly little Bella
Moon:  DUH. Obviously shes 18 and doesn’t know the ways of the world
UC:  Leave it to us experienced woman
Moon:  Throw yourself at him and don’t let go
UC:  There isn’t a man in this world who has run away from me without getting his leg humped while trying
Moon:  like if you ever saw Rob in real life, you grab something and HOLD ON
(thats what she said)

Moon: ok laurent??
UC:  Eyes! So much better. And freaky
Moon:  Dude! They totally let her hair look all shabby. He is SO toe up in this, like he’s been out in the woods too long
Moon:  like TORE UP… it’s ghettttooo speak
UC:  you’re so gangsta. like eminem. white gangsta. balls in ya faace
Moon:  fo sho homie
UC:  I have nothing more to say about Laurant. He dies and i don’t give a shizz
Moon:  I want to wear his wig on my next jamaican vacay
UC:  I want to buy pot from him on my next jamaican vacay. Dude, I was walking down the street in Philly, and I saw a rastafarian guy. I said to the hubby, “if i wanted pot…. could I ask him?”
Moon:  totally Laurent!
UC:  and he said.. “UC… you’re so judgemental” cuz he had a sign about Jesus
whoops. He was a Jesus-stafarian
Moon: Everyone knows that guy in their town!
UC: well, this one was saved. Probably off an old Carmen video

Wait. You're how old?

Wait. You're how old?

Chris Hansen? Is that you? (1:25)
Moon: Moving on. Let’s get arrested
UC:  Okay, arrested time
Moon:  I mean the drop-out-of-the-tree-move had EVERYONE screaming at my house on sunday
UC:  and by ‘everyone’ you mean just you and our friend ‘his one and only?’
Moon:  my HUGE PARTY of people flipped out. Jake looks like the nerd who left for summer vacay a wimp and came back in the fall all ripped
UC: I know! THAT guy
Moon:  and you’re like “DUDE who’s the NEW KID??”
UC:  I remember that guy. I held that guy’s hand on a fall field trip. It was sweaty. Sad
UC: I love the growling at the end. LOVE it. Reminds me of my kitty. He purrs like that
Moon:  I’m still on the pedofile part. Him jumping over the railing is hot, and I said it and i don’t cxare
UC:  so ripped. Hubby said he is clearly on roids
Moon:  jump over MY railing
UC:  do it. Jump over it, Taylor. Moon can handle you. She’s tall

Here Kitty, kitty kitty...

Here Kitty, kitty kitty...

UC: I <3 cats, and the wolf reminds me of a cat
Moon: Though from totally different animal familes
UC:  i want to snuggle it
Moon:  DUDE the wolf RULES, and this is SOOO a first version too
UC:  it’ll get SO much better!
Moon:  can you imagine the pack?! it’s gonna rule
UC: On dang! All that hottness. All those shirts off? Edward WHO?
Moon: Dude the clothes ripping off, the phasing. Again, Chris Weitz, I pledge me and rob’s unborn child to you: Christopher Moon Pattinson
UC:  Again.. Chris Weitz? Marry me? Even though you kinda look likke an Oregon mountain man and that’s totally not my thang.
Moon:  dude i so have a thing for chris weitz
UC:  really? like in real life? Or in this fake virtual life where I call you Moon and we pretend to be fan girls (fine we pretend that we’re pretending but we’re really not) Moon:  I don’t know what it is… the scarves, the jackets, the longish hair. the yelling of ACTION
UC: Always like a guy in charge of the action
UC: He seems great. Not at all annoyed by the paps. Takes the boys out for lunch-
buys them tuna melts and cokes. Doesn’t get into drama with his cast… not talking about how’s stickin’ who
Moon:  doesn’t care or WANT TO know if anyones shacking up with anyone
UC:  right. Dorky wolf is doing it with another wolf? who cares!

Moon:  uh can november come quick enough?!
UC:  Moon & UC grade the trailer:
Moon:  A+ NO A
UC: Yeah, A
Moon:  (no plus because of the poodle hair)
UC:  A+ will be when the wolfpack arrives. Right. Fail on the poodle hair, and also on Edward not making sense.

-See how much Moon likes to watch Rob strip over on LTR
-Hide from Chris Hansen over at The Forum
-Follow our tweets on Twitter!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • themoonisdown

    DUDE!! we so rule, dude. we LOVE the word DUDE, dude!

    seriously though, i’m booking a Jamaican vacay right now, please send your weed dealers wig to me. thanks!

    • trixi

      we have booked our jamacian vacation for october! and we are out of weed dealers right now because it is a dry town for now. sorry :( but in jamacia just ask the water sports guys or so i have been told….

    • http://www.bledsoephoto.com Shanell B

      Mmmm Jamaica! I just got back on Friday. Wish I could post the pic of Lil Edward smokin’ a fatty…He’s such a bad boy!

  • http://www.lulaville.com Leigh Anne

    A Jesus-stafarian? He had a sign? What did it say? “Hey mon, want to buy some reefer? Jesus loves you!”

    OK, back to the trailer.
    Sigh…
    Loved it.
    Except for that wrong-colored/cartoonish/terrible CGI wolf at the end. Oh Weitz…you have a few months to make it better. In the words of my beloved Captain Kirk (and by “beloved,” I clearly mean the Chris Pine version of James T. Kirk) “MAKE IT SO.”

    Make it so. And then I’ll be 100% happy. I swear.
    p.s. Edward looks Edwardish. Praise BE!!!!

    • Proselyte3

      Edwardish….yes please.

      Praise be to all that is good, lovely and pure on this God forsaken planet. Amen.

    • Emily W

      Is it just me or does the wolf look mangey? As in… why does it have a bald butt? Is it supposed to signify the fact that humans are essentially bald except for their hair on our heads? Otherwise, creepy half bald wolf.

    • themoonisdown

      CLEARLY!

      MAKE IT SO! hahahaha oh piney!

    • kjp

      @Leigh Anne – I am a day behind (damn work) but I had to say that I had the exact same thought. I was completely in love with that trailer (Jasper’s horrendous hair and visible harness aside) and then the wolf showed up! I watched that and looked at my hubby and said “why does it look like a mix of Lassie and a cat when it is supposed to be a BIG REDDISH WOLF!” I was willing to overlook that the flowers were not the color described in the book but I pray that the wolf improves.

  • samantha

    i loved loved loved the trailer! i couldn’t stop squeeing like a fan girl after i watched it. and wow kristen was pretty good in the break up scene. loves it!

    oh you guys are so funny. the best breaking up vanity fair style by far!

  • pange

    Too funny. Made me lol at work.

    Okay, I seem to remember in the books (because it’s been over a month since I’ve read NM), when E & B were discussing what E would do if something ever happened to B. He said something along the lines in the clip. “you’re my only reason to stay.. alive.. IF thats what i am.”

    Am I the only one that this makes sense to? I mean, he had basically told her that he would commit vampire suicide if she ever died. He isn’t technically alive (thus, the “if that’s what I am”). I don’t understand everyone’s confusion on this? Of course, in the book, he doesn’t say it to her at the party. It’s the discussion they have while watching Romeo & Juliet.

    Anyway, I love, love, love the trailer so far. I love the E&J fight, love Alice’s new hair, love the warm tones. Love.it.

    • superhumanmoron

      Edward’s line made sense to me, too! He said he wasn’t going to live without her, and like you said, he’s not technically alive.

      I loved the trailer!! I’m ready to hop in the Delorean and go to November already!!

    • Steph

      I couldn’t understand the actually words he was saying at first. (Sometimes his voice is so low, it almost seems like he’s mumbling.) But then, after watching it for the 5th time or so I really HEARD what he said and I understood it, too.

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      OHHHHH IF he’s alive!!???? i get it!

    • themoonisdown

      OHHHH ok it must have been his delivery! i understand it now, it’s just weirdly worded and delivered.

  • maygirlg

    Loved your breaking it down vanity fair style.

  • GiddyAgain

    …”He’s working that sexy, drool-worthy voice that you know he doens’t have in real life. In between takes he was totally burping Kristen’s name”…

    ..”There isn’t a man in this world who has run away from me without getting his leg humped while trying…”

    …”Always like a guy in charge of the action”…

    WIN…. WIN… WIN…. as usual! I love your sense of humor!!!!! you girls ROCK!

    Keep in coming… (that’s what we ALL say!)

  • summergirl

    Chris Hansen?

    “You can google it”

    Oh, I SEE!!!!

    Tater-tot is cute, but Team Edward all the way for me, kthankxbai :)

  • yellow.jello

    i think kristenella had to wear way too much make-up.
    she doesn´t look bella-ish, but kristen-ish.
    AND looking at the vamp-ladies you can tell that their faces are whiter than the rest of the body.
    AND… no, i don´t have to speak out what i think about the jasper-wig. ugh.
    love the trailer anyway.

  • superhumanmoron

    Another observation: Edward is wearing the same thing in the forest break-up scene as he is wearing at the party. He leaves the very next day!

  • brummielover

    @Moon and UC

    Just when I think I couldn’t possibly love you more…than you mention CARMEN

    All I can say is A2J ….word! luv it!

    I read your post outloud to two of my coworkers..yes like read it out loud..and we LOL’d….

    thanks! DUDE!

    • Proselyte3

      Carmen! Hee, hee.

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      You know Carmen TOO!? ANOTHER ONE FOR THE TEAM!

    • themoonisdown

      wow a READING of our post!! how official!

  • Melissa

    I love the trailer and was totally squeeeeeeing like a pig stuck in a hole!!! The only thing I didn’t like was the fact that Edward was, once again, not looking at Bella while saying something truly important, “This is the last time you’ll see me.” That’s kind of an important thing to say while looking at someone dead on, youknowwhati’msaying?
    Love the part where Bella asks for a kiss from Edward and he totally takes his hands and puts them in her hair….why the hell is she asking? Why doesn’t she just take charge and flippin do it already?
    Hate Jasper’s poodle-doo! Love the house!
    Regardless, cannot wait until November!!!

  • dazzledtodeath

    Loved the trailer! But I think they went a little overboard trying to correct the mistakes they made in Twilight (the movie):

    1. Edward looks about five years older and has a healthy, rosy glow. Ok ,they overdid the white makeup in Twilight but he IS supposed to be dead.

    2. Bella has way too much makeup on-she looks completely different and definitely more Kristen-ish than Bella-ish.

    3. Poor Jasper-he’s gone from bad to worse. Which is worse-the Jasper wig Rob’s Dali wig?

    • ANDREA

      I agree with Bella wearing too much makeup. But if you look carefully, that’s only before Edward leaves. When she is with Laurent she is the old Bella again. So my conclusion was that Alice had been playing Barbie Bella with her. :D

      ANDREA

      • yellow.jello

        i think she has more make-up on in the meadow scene with laurent. haha. maybe we´re all wrong and just looking for something to diss…

    • themoonisdown

      dali wasnt a wig, it was his actual hair! AHHH!!!

    • NatalieCastle

      YEaah, I know like, Bella’s supposed to be this plain and normal girl, but in the laurent scene she’s like WHOA, too much make up, her features are just TOO sharp for bella.

      Another thing: WHATS UP WITH THE CULLENS??!??!?!
      Seriously, weren’t they like supposed to move a little bit, I mean, we all hate Bella, but you could have shown a little concern for her… like everyone was standing like this :I … I mean, LOOK AT EMMETT!. LIKE HE JUST STANDS THERE LOOKING HOW JASPER FLIES through the air!! aren’t they supposed to DO something about it?

      Overall, the trailer was really good. The weird part in which Edward says heavens knows what, looks really romantic, and Jacob looks SOOOO cute in his wolf-form. (L)

    • mamajewels

      I agree with everything you mentioned here.

      1. I love that Edward looks older. But they could have made them all look whiter and DEAD.

      2. If I remember correctly, I believe Alice did have a Barbie Bella moment with her before her party. I did notice the change in make-up after Edward left. I hope they stay true to the Bella we know.

      3. I wonder if Jasper’s hair changed so tramatically because he’s from the Civil War time frame??? Just a thought…

  • Proselyte3

    @Dudes!

    ‘Smokin the gongie gonna bring ya closa to the Jesus bra…’

    Moon: I would run after him and attach myself to his leg. You don’t let Edward walk away
    UC: There isn’t a man in this world who has run away from me without getting his leg humped while trying

    OMG!!!!Hahahahahahaha!

    This post was one of my new favs (and I’ve seen em all!) Such honest simplicity. Def. new fave. Loved the new trailer…and by loved, obviously I mean that I want to violate Robward. Nuf said.

  • Emily W

    OMFG!! Your comments made me shoot my omelet bagel at the screen. I forgot about Sophia bush and Child michael murray! I was wondering how the show is still on too… I’d totally rather the OC still be going *Sigh*.

    And the rasta ones too! Gah! Totally made me think about that scene in Eurotrip where they’re convinced they’ve eaten pot brownies and its just a dutch bakery

    I started to have very naughty thoughts about taylor during the trailer and had to chant to myself “He’s only 17 hes only 17..”

    Kristens wearing lots of make up because Alice does her up in the book right?

  • hunnieb

    sheer perfection again!!

    the trailer was awesomeee! i myself is gonna be arrested for thinking the same acts tht i want to do w/ rob are the same i would want to do w/ taylor… awooooo!!

    he could be like “i farted cause i ate a bean buritto” and i’d be like WOW- profound

    LOL thats just about sums it up! the guy is FINE!!!

    <3 <3

  • Katie S

    I love you two and I’m not even kidding.

    Oh, and the comment about Rosalie shopping at the TJ Maxx sale’s rack?? TRUTH! Don’t get me wrong… I love me some TJ Maxx sales, but… come on, wardrobe department! Huge improvement in this one. Yay!

    • Emily W

      I think I read somewhere that they got Bella’s prom dress at ross and shopped for a lot fo the clothes in twilight at thrift stores, so not that far off the mark ;)

      • sassysmart

        Is that because Forks only probably has like a Wal-mart or K-mart in town to shop at? Cause I remember that there was like one department store close in Port whateveritscalled.

        Along this lines…question about the book. In it somewhere (I don’t remember which book) it says that Alice goes over to the computer with Rose and they are designing her new wardrobe. Does that mean that Alice designs and makes them or they are basically shopping at Neimans?

        • themoonisdown

          i think she does both… design and shops the designers online.

          and the wardrobe dept should have gotten the wardrobe in LA, hello, not wait for freaking oregon. wtf

          • sassysmart

            Catherine Hardwicke was the director…maybe that’s what she wanted. Cause even some of the hair styles were very 1992.

      • trixi

        i think they looked at my junior prom pictures because i so wore a pair of brown low top chucks to my prom and that was in 1997.

  • Janetrigs

    Dudes, I am glad that I waited patiently for the masterpiece.
    Agree with everything, can’t wait to see how they improve it.

    Well, almost agree with everything. You can’t latch on to edward, you have to throw out your snare net to catch him and bring him back to you. He’ll respect you more. Trust.

    • Proselyte3

      Right, good call.

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      patience pays off
      :)

  • krazykidd

    @UC/MOON you guys are the next Ebert & Roper(is that what his name is?) LOL :D
    The trailer was so F-ing amazing…but I still can’t get over JASPER’S HAIR!!! Seriously whoever came up with the hair design should be fired…He looks kinda creepy with the Shirley Temple look!!! Everytime I see him in the clip I can’t help but think…’ch-ch-ch-chia’ LMAO :D

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      omg.. this is the nicest thing anyone EVEr said to me!

    • themoonisdown

      ebert and roper!! we rule. they need to hire us for reviewing 20 second clips like it’s our job.

      shirley temple!

  • http://www.bledsoephoto.com Shanell B

    Soooo when Bella says, “Ow. Paper cut…” does anyone else immediately think, “Thanks, Capt. Obvious.”

    It’s like in Twilight when she’s reading the book about ancient vampire legends and sees Cold Ones, and says, “Cold Ones.” Wow. Really? We CAN read dumbass…

    • krazykidd

      “Thanks, Capt. Obvious.”…YOU WIN!!!!! :D

  • http://www.bledsoephoto.com Shanell B

    Oh and Lil Edward does enjoy the bud. We just returned from Jamaica…here’s proof.

    • http://www.bledsoephoto.com Shanell B

      Oh well, there was supposed to be a pic of Pocket Edward smokin’ a fatty. It’s pretty sick!
      Can’t take that boy anywhere…

  • tiffany

    yeah Edward telling Bella she is the reason he says alive is right before the birthday scene. That part of the trailer was in order and it totally makes sense in context. I may have read an early version of the script … Don’t hate me people…. Someone emailed it to me and I couldn’t resist. I am weak!!!! But everything I’ve seen so far in the way of spoilers have lined up with that script.

    I’m not a fan of the house it looks empty and not as homie as the last Cullen house but again we just saw 10 seconds of it. Hopefully it will look better in the movie
    You forgot to mention the obvious shot of kristens stunt double flying through the air. This is totally a rough first cut in a lot of ways but I have faith in Chris that he will fix the issues I have with this trailer. Do you think he could fix jacksons hair via cgi?
    My mom who has no knowledge of anything twilight related despite working at a high school happened to walk into the room as the trailer came on and when they showed Taylor my mom was like whoa whoa whoa… I thought this was about vampires WHO IS THAT!? I was like that is Jacob stay calm mom he’s 17.
    All in all the trailer gave me a little taste but I’m excited to see a legit trailer not a rushed half assed one. ( not blaming anyone I totally understand why I don’t think it’s perfect) when did they even have time to make the trailer as good as it was??? Trailers NEVER come out the day after they finish filming we are lucky to get one so early on in the game!
    PS
    I love me some pacific northwest mountain men. All rough and scruffy and hot. Athankyou!

  • Sara

    I love the trailer in that I’m projecting my impatience for November onto it. I DO have some gripes though:

    1) When Jasper attacks, looks like Edward immediately tosses him. In the book I seem to remember some teeth nashing biting going on as Jasper tries to get through Edward to Bella. I’ll forgive it though b/c I thought Edward tossing Bella half way across the room was pretty stellar. The only time a girl can say “he threw me across the room cause he loves me so much,” and it would actually be true. Also I realize we’re only seeing fragments of an entire scene but why did all the other vampires appear to just be standing there watching? They all move at super speed. Even if there was only the beginning of a reaction. Again being way too picky.

    2) the wolf scene was awesome but the wolf was a little too cartoonish/animated for me. If they don’t do something about that I’ll never get the S.O. to go see this with me and I can’t even be mad about it if he doesn’t. I may have to cut a wire in his car. Unfortunately for him, his car broke down when it was -10 degrees and I hinted that a Twilight viewing could be in order for such an inconvenience as my coming to his rescue and he obliged.

    3) Lastly, is it really such a good idea to have THAT many candles around our precious vamps? As pretty as it looks, methinksnot.

    Just Sayin.

  • http://thebrowniequeen.blogspot.com/ Marta

    DUDES!!

    That was AWESOME!!

    I laughed A LOT.

    I agree. I LUV all the earthy tones going on in this one. And I am so going to do this, too:

    “Moon: next time i get a papercut im going to fling whatever it is im holding in the air. totally dramatic ‘OW PAPERCUT!'”

    Cuz being a paper pusher/comp worker, I get papercuts ALL THE TIME!! And not just PAPER cuts, but FOLDER and PRONG cuts! They suck!

    :-D

    • Emily W

      Hehe. But who actually bleeds from a papercut? Usually its like WTF why is my finger hurting? DAMMIT! Papercut. And then theres a stupid little slice.

      • LaPush Baby

        I usually notice a paper cut when I am squeezing lime into my Gin and Tonic.

        That must be special razor blade paper.

        • Emily W

          You totally know rosalee bought freakishly sharp paper on purpose… she planned the whole thing. Then again, this year I got a HUGE papercut wrapping presents and burst into hysterical laughter because I had thought it was impossible to do.

  • LaPush Baby

    OMG you dudes totally rule all.

    It’s like you are there in my brain, saying all the stuff I am thinking, only much funnier, and in my brain, I didn’t get sidetracked by a Jesusafarian……

    I am totally going to overreact over my next paper cut, too, in case Jasper and Edward all of the sudden start sprinting towards me……..

    I agree, it looks a little rough but amazing, and Jasper’s hair is a serious bummer. And does Edward sound a little like Rob in the forest? Like with a tiny British accent?

    (Not that I’ve watched it 100 times, or anything, so I may be hearing things that are not there….)

    Also, this post was just the eye bleach I needed to get over my shudders from LTR today, thank you so much!!!

    • themoonisdown

      YES!! i was like he so has the accent!

      • Proselyte3

        Yes, heard it too….and loved that he slipped up!

        • LaPush Baby

          Oh good, Glad it isn’t just me!

  • Jena

    Moon: It’s in the cullen house. Before the bday party?? Maybe after? Either way that line makes no sense, but he could speak pig latin and i’d listen
    UC: “ihay ovelay youhay obray.” It’s kinda sexy.. the way she’s all up on his chest.. with her hand. I’m kinda turned on right now. DAMNIT 3rd glass of wine
    Moon: he could be like “i farted cause i ate a bean buritto” and i’d be like WOW- profound
    Moon: ok not really but ya know. It’s like when someone speaks a different langauge than you and it sounds hot even if they’re asking where the bathroom is. He’s working THAT
    UC: He totally is. He’s working that sexy, drool-worthy voice that you know he doens’t have in real life. In between takes he was totally burping Kristen’s name

    ROTFLMAO!!! Perfect. Priceless.

  • Jena

    ROTFLMAO!

    Moon: next time i get a papercut im going to fling whatever it is im holding in the air. totally dramatic “OW PAPERCUT!”

  • Jena

    Moon: I would run after him and attach myself to his leg. You don’t let Edward walk away

    I Amen this! Can you tell I’m commenting as I read? LOL!

    • Emily W

      Thats what I thought when I read the book. I was like wtf bella grab him. Awesome (altho psycho) response to being dumped as well… just say you’re drunk heh. Totally kidding. I’d never do that… *stares at ceiling*

    • themoonisdown

      thats my favorite thing about you jena!!

      well one of them, there are SO many!

      • Jena

        Awww, shhhanks!

  • Sal

    Glad I’m not the only one who graded it an A..makes me excited…however I had to do research in hopes that Taylor would be 18 when the movie premiers just so I wouldn’t feel as guilty, but nope…he’ll still be 17 in November…*hangs head in shame* guess I’ll just have to stare at Paul this movie..at least he’s of age

    • Emily W

      It’s legal in some states!! And totally cool in some countries!

  • ANDREA

    Edward WHO?

    EXCUSE ME????????

    Girls, you know I love them both like the sisters I never had but if you betray Edward or Rob I will put a hit on you. I will bring Laurent back to life (death, whatever) and send him directly to you. And you can bet that dog won’t be there to protect you!!!

    I know Taylor/Jacob is looking good but to compare him with Rob/Edward is like comparing a glass of instant coffee with two ice cubes inside to a grande coffee vanilla frapuccino… mmmm…. Yeah… delicious… I love my frappucino and I love Rob… both with whipped cream if possible… mmmm :D

    ANDREA

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      I solemnly swear we were joking. We will never become Team Jacob. We will become “Team who looks at young kids abs” though

      • ANDREA

        :D OK, then!!

        Can I join you Team?

  • punchedawerewolf

    YOU. GUYS. COMPLETE. ME.

    • themoonisdown

      you had me at hello

  • Jena

    Is anyone going into histarics that Chris Weitz won’t be directing Eclipse? After seeing the trailer I want him to do all of them. ALL.OF.THEM. I might have to go latch onto his leg!

    • Proselyte3

      Me *raises hand*.

      I can only hope the next dude takes Eclispse up to the next level. How cool would that be????!

      I mean then by the time we get to Breaking Dawn, the movie might actually be better than the book! No offense Queen Meyer, but that would be a good thing.

      Perpetual Improvement….please God, and now.

  • Hannah

    Hahahahahaha. You guys deserve an MTV Movie Award for the Funniest Blog in the WORLD. Seriously… its 9 a.m and I am up reading you guys and laughing my A*S off. First off…. Rob marry me. Your sexy as hell and we would make wonderful british babies. Second off… Kristen dropping the award made me love her more. Third off… when Edward says “Your my only reason to stay… Alive. If that’s what I am” I read that he meant like he is alive only because of Bella, but he added the “If thats what I am” to reference that he dosen’t think he has a soul or that he is really going to Heaven.

    -Love you Moon and UC and ROB!!!!

    • themoonisdown

      oh my favorite award BEST BLOG IN THE WORLD! ;)

  • Kristin

    I can’t even breathe right now. you guys are hilarious. that was perfection. a review even Rob would get behind (thats what she said)

    • themoonisdown

      he does love it from behind.

      i mean uh…

      WHAT?!!! wait…

  • Live720

    Taylor has made me vow to become incarcerated a LONG time ago. Really, I can’t even say I feel guilty anymore. Looks like the sexy vamps are going to have some serious competition in this movie.

  • Nyssa

    *wipes tears* You guys just broke me, I’m laughing so hard!

  • http://www.bledsoephoto.com Shanell B

    Carmen the Christian singer? Ugh. I waited on him a few times when I was a server in college. Between that experience and working in the christian music industry for years, I’m glad I’ve changed careers!

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      NO! Tell me, he’s CLEARLY gay, right!?

      • http://www.bledsoephoto.com Shanell B

        I dunno. He was with 2 chicks but he seemed pretty damn fairy fart sparkles to me. I have decent gaydar, and half the christian music industry is flaming anyway. He was a jerkazoid though. The chicks had to speak for him…like he was too good to say, “Yes, I’d like a refill of sweet tea,” to a server.

        Prick.

        • Proselyte3

          OMG!!!!!! I waited on him too. Were you in Tulsa????

          I use to waitress when I was in Bible College in Tulsa. Everyone at the restaurant I worked at couldn’t stand to wait on him. My semi-celebrity awe was short lived when it was my turn to serve his party. Not a nice individual!

          DUDE, my Mom forced me to grow up listening to you (and Amy, Silver Wind, 2nd chapter, SCChap, MWSmith.) the least you can do is give me a decent tip when I meet your EVERY demand. Not bitter, not at all.

          • themoonisdown

            omg did you go to ORAL roberts??!!

            i went to college in bethany, ok! crazzzzy!

          • Proselyte3

            @Moon…Rhema in Broken Arrow, OK (ministry training.) My roomie went to ORU, as well as, most of my friends. I lived there for four years before meeting my husband at school (Canadian), and moving up here.

            Dude! Chandler/Tempe…and now this! BTW, I went to Word of Grace in Mesa growing up. Holla Homie!

          • Tiffany

            Uhhh did everyone here go to a christian university? for reals girls… Im glad Im not the only one. half of my family went to ORU… there was no way I was moving to OK (no offence) I settled on a nice little AG school in Seattle..

          • http://www.bledsoephoto.com Shanell B

            No, I went to MTSU. I’ve lived in Nashville for the last 10 years. It’s the Christian music mecca. I, being a hard rocker, got sucked in after graduating from the music business program. Hubby on the other hand grew up with the Third Day guys and always listened to Bride, SCC, MWS and Amy… we’re like night and day!

            And Carmen should learn…you don’t piss off your waitress! Hello, ass! We do nasty things to your food in the back! (That’s what she said)

  • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

    Okay. Best Day Ever. i’m working remotely at a coffee shop w/ the husband (it’s our 3 yr anniversary) and who should walk in? A rastafarian (mind you I live in the BURBS of philly- like.. there are mennonites and cornfields in this town) I gmail chat my hubby- who is at the table next to me and ask if we shoudl ask him for Pot.
    He said “Hunny. I recognize him. He’s a pastor”

    OMG! Another Jesus-afarian in my coffee shop!

    And seirously? your comments today gals? amazing! You’re all the best

    • trixi

      gotta love the mennonites and cornfields!

    • sassysmart

      Jesus-afarian…is that a new sect of the Mennonites?

    • brummielover

      @UC

      I think Jesus is trying to tell you sumthin girl!! lol

    • Proselyte3

      *snort* dennnnnnied!

      • Proselyte3

        @UC…Happy Anniversary BTW! xo Here’s to many more years of lusting after Rob, and Mr. UC reaping the benefits! When Mama’s happy….evrybodies happy! (knowwhatimsayin.)

  • http://myria101.wordpress.com myria101

    I love this breakdown!! Dude, ou guys are so awesome!

    @UC – My anniversary was yesterday, June 1. 5 years (married) and 8 total. Crazzzyy.

    M

  • oopsilovetwi

    You guys have the admirable talent of saying what everyone is thinking, but in the most hilarious of ways. You girls are phenomenal!

    I was disappointed in the break up scene. Not looking at her takes away a lot of the strong emotions that would’ve been conveyed through the body language. It just feels lukewarm. This is the end of something life-changing, and all Edward does is shrug, kiss on the head, and walk away. I felt Bookward gave it a little more oomph, but it’s been a few months since I read it.

    AND I am definitely Team Edward, but just the thought of the shirtless wolf pack does make my zeal waiver more than just a little bit!

    • themoonisdown

      “You guys have the admirable talent of saying what everyone is thinking, but in the most hilarious of ways. You girls are phenomenal!”

      AWWWWWWWWWWWW that’s the nicest thing EVER!! thank you so much that really means a lot!

  • http://cullenhineytingles.blogspot.com/ Cathie

    You two are really crazy. I ♥ for it! Chris Weitz is a genius. I think Chris Hansen has been behind me since Sunday night.

  • trixi

    ok so i was just looking at pictures of rob at the mtv video movie awards. his outfit is kind of bad. anyway is it just me or did he miss button his shirt. the one side looks longer than the other. http://tinyurl.com/q7e7e8

    • Katharine

      I’m so with you on this. The whole paper cut thing is so OVERACTED. What’s up with the royal freak out Bells has? It’s a freakin’ paper cut. And, unless you’re a hemophiliac, no paper cut bleeds like that.

      And yes. If Edward told me all that crap I would have (1) told him where to go (2) grabbed him by the legs, and had him drag my sorry ass around the forest (3) just kicked his ass and gone after pre-poodle-head Jasper.

      • Emily W

        :D Totally there with you. Image of Rob trying to run while dragging fangirls like toilet paper stuck to his shoe is kinda priceless. And *sigh* Jackson jackson jackson. It could just be because he’s from the south too but… I’d totally let him violate me

    • Katharine

      His shirt IS mis-buttoned. I noticed it right away. It’s been annoying me ever since. How the hell does that happen? Nobody noticed it?!?

    • themoonisdown

      this is like rob’s way of dressing i think. he always mismatched the button and button hole. poor kid. ;)

  • amylouwho

    Dude, classic breakdown! No, I meant you. :D loved it. You hit on my major questions about it. What does Edward mean???? “If that’s what i am.” Did they piece together to different lines? So excited for this movie!

    • amylouwho

      *Sheepishly * i just went back and read the earlier comments and I get the “If I’m alive thing”. So glad someone’s brain is working out there.

  • Colleen

    I have to say that the whole humping Edward’s leg thing was hilarious. I was trying to yawn and read the page at the same time, and I wheezed I laughed so hard. I can just picture you dive-bombing onto his leg and the struggle of him trying to get you off his leg. Thank you for making me laugh.

  • http://eyesofamber.blogspot.com Eyes of Amber

    Moon: I would run after him and attach myself to his leg. You don’t let Edward walk away
    UC: no you hold on tight. You hump it if you have to. Silly little Bella
    Moon: DUH. Obviously shes 18 and doesn’t know the ways of the world
    UC: Leave it to us experienced woman
    Moon: Throw yourself at him and don’t let go
    UC: There isn’t a man in this world who has run away from me without getting his leg humped while trying

    This is absolutely one of the funniest things I have read in ages! Partly because it is so true! The hubby and I had a fight about six months after we got married and I asked if he wanted a divorce. He said no, but asked me a few years later what I would have done if he said yes. I told him I would have run across the room and grabbed him around the legs…LOL

    Love you guys! And the “IF that’s what I am” line was one of my favorites from the trailer. When he said it was the last time she’d ever see him, my heart broke and I couldn’t breathe. With this being the rough cut, I can’t imagine what we have to look forward to in November.

    Thanks again for the wonderful laughs!

  • http://www.laurensbite.blogspot.com Lauren

    ” Seriously… Kristen.. in the woods? equals Sophia Bush. I wanna hug her and ask if she’s healed from her 3 month marriage to Chad Michael Murray. And also ask how the freak their show is still on TV when The OC was canceled years ago”

    That right there is me asking you to marry me. Both of you…of course.

    After much thinking…I finally figured out what Edward was saying. That dude is too hott for his own good. He starts saying gibberish and we nod our heads yes!

  • http://www.laurensbite.blogspot.com Lauren

    “”Won’t you be my supper?””

    That SLAYED me. “Won’t you please…won’t you pleease. Please won’t you be…my supper?”

    BTW…did anyone else notice that the way the blood drop was protrayed…it looked way heavy? I mean…the carpet moved.

  • LaPush Baby

    I did notice the carpet moving under the blood, and I thought, well dang, maybe she hit an artery, that is a big drop of blood for a paper cut, mine usually just smear a little.

    Also, aren’t the wolves the size of bears in the book? Maybe they are bigger than I think because there is no perspective for me to compare.

    I better go watch it again….

  • miss sparkles

    I have to say, UC and Moon you two have outdone yourself! that was such a good post! i laughed the whole way through it!

    I loved the trailer! i couldnt scream or squeal after watching it for about 3mins because i was too busy hyperventilating at its amazingness!

    I liked the house it looks more like a home rather than a showhouse if that makes sense!
    Loved the leaping morphing into werewolf jacob thing, so hot, but team Edward always!!

    I kinda liked how Edward didnt look at her when he was saying he was leaving, it was almost like if he looked into her face it would make it too hard for him to leave!
    Laurent looks super creepy and much wilder with the kinda messy hair like “iv been in the woods getting all dirty and now im going to drink your blood” look!

    The Jasper wig, one word: yuck!!

    Isnt Chad Micheal Murray and Sophia Bush in One Tree Hill and not The OC though??

    “when someone speaks a different langauge than you and it sounds hot ” i love that, thats why im learning both french and spanish heehee!

    Reading this kinda makes me feel really young, like “18 and doesn’t know the ways of the world” (less than 18 but not for long!!!), and here’s me thinking i was worldly! haha!
    I suppose you two could be my kinda bloggy mentors of great humor concerning all things twilight and rob! lol

  • shan

    SO nasty! Seriously. Almost as bad as sweat fest 2009 at the khyber in philly – HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

  • http://www.tinaswonderfulcrazylife.blogspot.com struhar2009

    seriously guys, you make me laugh SO hard! this was great, as was the liveblogging on sunday! just winwinwin all over <3

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