Step right up to the Circus sideshow: Twilight Tattooed Freaks!

Dear Twi-hards,

Your enthusiasm, commitment and devotion to this saga continues to baffle and amaze me. Though I’m probably up there in terms of  enthusiasm, heck I blog about this EVERY day, I don’t know if my enthusiasm comes anywhere close to some fans I’ve seen. We all show our love for Twilight in different ways, passing the books on to a friend so they can become addicted (aka spreading the virus so you’re not alone!), creating your own New Moon trailer with your creepy husband while the cat wonders wtf is going on, or even getting a Twilight inspired tattoo. Now the Twi-tatt is by far the highest level of commitment out there and not for the faint of heart or SHY. I mean you’re going to be stuck with this thing for the rest of eternity and will forever be explaining why you have a tattoo of a shriveled up tulip on your boob of the face of a guy who kinda looks like Jimmy Neutron lost in the shire on your bicep.

The great thing about Twi-Tatts is that most will inevitably be some sort of embarrassing and if we’re (meaning those of us who love and make fun of the twi-dom on a daily basis) lucky; awesomely terrible! So in honor of Monday Funnies let’s take a gander at some Twi-tatts that somehow went very verrrry wrong.

The Cullen family crest- this is a big offender in my book because it’s not even official, it’s from the movie! That’d be like getting the quote “hold on tight spider monkey” or a portrait of Buttcrack Santa (my dream tatt).
cullencrestbackpiece
Grandma’s gonna be so confused when you get married… “but honey, I thought Steve’s last name was Steverson, not Cullen. Who is this Cullen boy?”

crestleg
Goes great with your Chico’s capris

Next up we have the popular quote-style tattoos where folks get their favorite passage tattooed on intimate body parts. With Stephenie Meyer being such a great writer I can see why you’d want those words around forever. Heh. Most people get the obvious stuff: “be safe” “and so the lion fell in love with the lamb” etc. If it was me I’d probably something like “I had an adrenaline rush, you can google it!” or my fave Carlisle quote: “Animal attack!” (RIP Grisham Mill Worker)

overkill
This is a classic case of I WANT IT ALL but I can’t decide so let’s just cram as much from the saga on my arms and see what happens. All we’re missing is a passage about the Spanish Influenza or a detailed description of Bella’s room.

newmoonbackpiece
Well if you’ve gone this far, why not a whole chapter?

tbonesteaktattoo
Now, while I love this quote and the sentiment, it looks like it’s been etched into a T-Bone steak or a leg of lamb not exactly what I’d call romantic, unless raw red meat is your thing.

Next let’s traipse into the logo/book cover area of the Twilight tattoos… and as much as I love the covers as the next person I’m pretty sure I don’t want some chess pieces on my body… besides I can’t even play chess!
treetrunk
Oh looks it’s a Twilight tree… let’s crack it open and count the rings.

tulipbesafe
In case you forget “Be Safe!” Oh and don’t forget to water your flowers, they start drooping if you don’t. FYI.

And now for the ultimate… the portrait tattoo… now anyone who knows tattoos know that portraits are the most difficult and need to be done by professionals… and well I’ll let you be the judge of these next few…

movieposter
I’ve always wanted a tattoo of a 12 yr old looking stuttering girl and an alien on my shoulder

And now for my favorite…
jimmnuetronintheshire
Jimmy Neutron Cullen, Hobbit from the Shire is your life now. If this was supposed to BE Robert Pattinson AS Edward Cullen than someone needs a refund. And laser removal surgery.

Now these folks are committed, there’s NO doubt about that… but what I really want to see is a Cora the waitress or a Solomon Trimble tattoo… now THAT’s devotion!

Off to get my LTT tattoo! Aka a Big Daddy Portrait!
Themoonisdown

Sources: Reader submitted pics, NewMoonMovie.org, Flickr, Google Image Search, Twilighters Anon

What is IT about Robert Pattinson? Watch us try to figure it out.
Dude, don’t let your fellow sisters in the LTT/LTR sorority down, read more and submit your Rob Porn!
As always up-to-the-minute good times and discussion over at The Forum!

  • Jennifer

    Ha! Just got a great idea for a tattoo. (Not that I would ever tattoo myself over a fictional story.) A “vampire bite” tattoo on the wrist. Ha! Actually, I bet it’s already been done, huh?

  • Charlotte

    Oh my god, I just laughed until I cried reading that… at my desk at work. Embarrassing. Jimmy Neutron was spot on. Freaking classic.

  • Migell

    those are hot atleast no one has thought of my tats yet they are going to be hot ill post them up in google or my page and will put the adress here yall love them i got a real artist to draw them for me

  • whatever

    “Jimmy Neutron Cullen, Hobbit from the Shire is your life now.”

    I was laughing for an entire minute after reading this. Later that day, at random moments, I would remember this picture with the caption and start laughing. I swear my mum thinks I am going crazy..
    You guys are HILARIOUS!!!

  • Gallo

    I would just like to say, I do NOT have a Twilight tattoo.
    HOWEVER, I think you guys need to chill out over this, people can have tattoos of whatever they want! People have gotten tattoos of MUCH worse things than a tribute to their favourite book/film.
    All you people saying you can’t stop laughing? It isn’t THAT funny. Hell, it’s not even funny at all!
    Yeah some of them are badly done but if the person that it’s on likes it then who are you to judge?
    Pricks.

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      lemme guess.. friend of one of the ppl we poked fun of?

  • http://Google.ca emmettsgal1902

    I have always wanted to get a tattoo but i am scared to but i am going tomorrow to get one on my arm of twilight i am so excited

  • Pingback: Twilosophy: I am NOT the number 1 Twilight fan! « Letters to Twilight

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