Breaking down the New Moon Book cover

Dear fans of New Moon,

Do you miss The Quad? Yeah, we do too. Life happens. IT departments at work block chat and sisters-in-laws come to visit…sometimes exciting New Moon stuff happens and Moon & I don’t know where to turn. And then Calliope, one of our forum mods & the creator of the brilliant Twilight Theatre, happens to be there.. to save the day. And then breaking it down vanity-fair styles happen like this about the new New Moon picture:

Love,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

newmoonbookcoverThe New Picture
Moon: ok this might be a bit better than the movie poster. You KNOW this was a movie poster option
UC
: Can we mentioned Bella’s Wal-mart special tank top and how bella looks like a slutty fan fic bella
Calliope
: she so does
Moon
: shes defs a SENiOR in this picture
Calliope
: especially with the extra volume in the hair
UC
: grown-up
Moon
: no innocent junior
UC
: I know. Vidal sassoon
Calliope
: nono… paul mitchell. Alice left her with a supply
Moon
: Solomon Trimble gave her some of his hot oil treatments
Calliope
: so true. right before he got shipped off to a different tribe because he wasn’t studly enough.
Moon: the Quiluetes traded him for the nerdy wolf

UC: Do we wish we could zoom in on the WolfPack’s face? Cuz they’re hot? And I need me some dorky wolves?
Moon: YES!! I wanna see them close up
Calliope: I’m tempted to print it..on the BLUEPRINT printer at work. POSTER SIZE
UC: please please please and hang it up!  and send us a pic! and roll it up and send ME one!
Moon: Take a pic of you posing like Bella in front of it

Just wait… we’re about to discuss Eddie… after the jump

Eddie

I'm watching you

Eddie
Moon: Ok so let’s break it down…EDWARD
UC: so creepy
Calliope: Eddie- I’m renaming him
Moon: totally I didn’t even notice him at first
UC: me neither
Moon: which is how it SHOULD be for this movie. And I think he’s hella creepster
Calliope: I think imaginary/controlling/crazy mind of Bella- Edward shall be called Eddie. Because Edward wouldn’t haunt your thoughts. But a dude named Eddie- definitely would
UC: Eddie SO would (like Eddie from the OC who beat up that girl from the crime show about math)
Calliope: Eddie is reminiscent of Mark Walbergh in fear
Moon: Eddie is the guy looking through your windows at night
UC: Eddie is in the dark corners of your room- under your bed
Moon: Eddie’s the guy who comes up when you search convicted fellons/rapists in your neighborhood on the internet
Calliope: He’s the leaning a little to close as you wait for the bathroom at a bar…and you aren’t sure if you like it or not

Eddie's Van

Eddie's Van

UC: Eddie drives a van
Moon: with no windows.
Eddie’s the guy who rips tags off sofa cushions
UC: Eddie’s windows have curtains on them..in his van
Calliope: TRUE STORY
Moon: Eddie rides a motorcycle near the high school looking to pick up chicks
Calliope: Eddie may or may not have have cigarette burn marks on his arm… just cuz he likes how it feels
Moon: and if you’re nice he’ll do it to you too. just so you can feel alive together

Want some candy?

Want some candy?

UC: This is Eddie’s hero
Eddie saves you in Port Angeles, but only because he doesn’t want those other guys to have first crack at you
Moon: YES!!! he throws the door to the van open so you can jump in, but then locks it so you cant get back out
Calliope: looks like we all know the “Eddie” type

Eddie's pot van

Eddie's pot van

Moon: Look at this van
UC: Eddie makes you smoke pot in his van
Moon: Our Eddie rules
UC: I love Eddie
Calliope: I may be in love with our Eddie

Moon: I want to eat the candy Eddie offers me after school- oops it has LSD in it. And a razor blade in the apple. Cause Eddie’s the guy who started the rumor about apples and razor blades on Halloween
Calliope: that’s definitely Eddie’s van then
UC: We should write fan fic about Eddie
Moon: He has guyliner on in that pic
UC: totally does
Moon: And he’s behind a MOON! Coincidence?
Calliope: Eddie gets you feeling all crazy. like you are on drugs. Hence why Bella’s insane. and being totally slutty in her wal-mart tank
UC: All up in Jacob’s grill. Eddie likes to get behind moon. Likes it from Behind Moon
Moon: THATS WHAT I SAID
UC: Eddie changed the phrase to “That’s what Eddie said” cuz he’s a perv

35 sites of vans

Moon: So on to Jacob?
Calliope: Wait I got to find the pic again… I’ve got 35 sites of vans open
Moon: yea my computer died from van overload
Calliope: haha – it’s like i’ve died and gone to hippie heaven. I think I see papa stew

themoundsMoon: um obviously kstew has been helped out in the chesticle area
UC: obviously. she has no mounds
Moon: cause thats some cleave or she’s doing the old cross your arms and squeeze trick
Calliope: she def bent over and pulled the puppies up
Moon: oh yea, she grabbed some gaffers tape from the eletrical crew and made a fake push up
UC: the gaffers were whistling. I bet Eddie would be a gaffer.  Or a unioned-electrician
Moon: Eddie is a janitor
Calliope: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH trust me. Eddie is definitely in the union. I know the union

Senior Bella
UC: I love those wolves. but yes, wish they were bigger. I wanna hug the lil pups (and i’m not talking kstews mounds)
Calliope: I find it hard to believe … after looking at this pic… that senior Bella hasn’t had that ass tapped yet
UC: I know. Sr. Bella needs to get it on
Moon: Yea Sr Bella must be a serious tease
UC: Do you think she and Jacob did it? Secretly? I would. Jacob looks hot, and she’s alone
Moon: Cause we know mike newton and eric yorkie have her in the spank bank
UC: Edward left her. And Eddie ain’t nothing to write home about
Moon: She and Jacob did it in the Rabbit in the garage. Since Billy cant wheel himself over there. it’s Forks, it’s not like there anything else to do?!
Calliope
: I don’t believe that because until Jacob’s balls drop… and his voice stops squealing… I won’t believe he’s getting any play. Ain’t no pushing in La Push
Moon
: Oh I’m sorry, between cliff diving and motorcycle riding they hit it a couple times. Bella is vulnerable
UC
: Sr. Bella def. hit it with Jacob. Slutty book cover Bella ain’t no virgin
Calliope: Do you think Steph Meyers is hitting up a service right about now? She’s got to be dying that Sr. Bella is a total SLUT
Moon: Well she asked for it- Bella in sweatpants and a holey t-shirt doesn’t make for a very exciting cover
Calliope: Okay so maybe SR bella pet the dawg
Moon: That’s the new spank the monkey

Naked Wolves
UC: What else have we missed? The tat? Hot
Moon: JACOB
Calliope: tat is HOT
UC: HOT
Moon: HOT. So I wanna know how the tatt happens. Does it just appear after he phases for the first time? Or is it like a pack initiation thing where they all go to Port Angeles in an Eddie’s van and get one.
Calliope: they get wasted and naked (since they phase) and then they get tatted
Moon: HAHAHAHA they end up naked together in a van
Calliope: in the neighboring town
Moon: and the whole tribe is wondering whats gotten into the boys?!
Calliope: each other- that’s whats gotten into them
Moon: wondering if they’re experimenting from stuff the see on the interwebs nowadays
Calliope: What happens when they all phase simultaneously? In a big jumbled heap…things are touched…they get curious
UC: there is only one Leah-  They can’t help it if Sam & Paul wanna snuggle
Moon: Dude dogs hump their dog friends all the time- so theyre just trying it out
UC: so true. That’s why Bella is all grown up. She keeps getting humped by dogs

posterWe’ll steal the book

UC: Can we discuss how I don’t think i’ll buy this book, since I already own one, but I would be interested in the exclusive poster?
Moon: if it’s a the naked pack in a van
UC: I will shell out the 7 bucks for the paperback for SURE for the naked van pic
Calliope: let’s got to borders and steal the exclusive poster out of the books
UC: that’s what I was thinking
Calliope: and if we get caught we can just act like we didn’t notice
UC: right
Moon: and run out and jump in Eddies van- he has it idling
Calliope: bc we are old enough to be believed that we wouldn’t steal the poster
UC: exactly. it was an accident. it fell out. and into Eddie’s van
Calliope: yes I’ll bring a van from work that day (with the poster sized poster taped on the side- so we know which one is Eddie’s van) You know, in case there are multiple vans in the lot- wouldn’t want to hop in Solomon’s van
Moon: Who doesn’t drive their molester van to Borders to pick up the new movie companion? Solomon’s van would be easy to spot- it has “home depot delivery” on the side

Solomon Trimble
Calliope: that kid is odd
Moon: poor Solomon! I love making fun of him
UC: I wanna interview him
Calliope: he’ll ask to sleep on your floor if you do interview him. Are you prepared for that?
Moon: I’ll send him over to Cathy Hardwicke’s. I’m sure she could use a good romp in the hay
Calliope: Oh dear. you know Hardi tapped that.
Moon: Cathy loves em’ young
UC: Hardi SO tapped Trimble. Such a cougar
Calliope: Definitely. She wore a semi see-through skirt to the MTV Music awards. She DEFINITELY tapped Solomon
UC: And she m-bates to Rob. not that I’m judging. Cuz I’ve read late night fanfic
Moon: She wore Jamaican vacation braids to the golden globes- there’s NOTHING Cathy won’t do

(just in case you forgot.. here it is again!)

(just in case you forgot.. here it is again!)

The Tent

Moon: Can I just add that this is a WAY better pic of jacob/taylor
UC: He looks awesome
Calliope: you think Jacob’s pitching a tent behind Bella?
Moon: He actually looks like the cute, sweet best friend
UC: Who also wants to do her. Sometimes… I kinda wish they got it on. DON’T JUDGE ME.
Moon: me too
UC: I mean, I’m totally Team Edward, but I LOVE that tent scene in Eclipse
Moon: Sutty Bella would have. She needs to sample all the flavors
UC: and I could totally have Edward leave for a bit (in the tent scene) just to try it out
Moon:  If she does him she needs to do him in New Moon, not Eclipse
Calliope: I’m trying to think about it- yeah she’d have to have hit it in NM
UC: they can pitch a tent in NM. By the rabbit. And he can pitch his tent in her
Calliope: see I don’t feel bad for Jacob because I’m pretty sure all those times he had to lift “hurt” Bella up, he copped a feel
Moon: and when he “ran” her to the camp site in eclipse- he was totally copping a feel
UC: grazing the ass
Calliope: or like if she was passed out from the exhausting of the “mind effing,” he totally lifted the shirt and snuck a peak
UC: and was disappointed. clearly. As were the gaffers for this photo-shoot
Calliope: I bet a lot of people copped feels during the “black days” of Bella, but I don’t get it…because she was all depressed and not eating… so how’d senior Bella get the curves… unless.. Senior Bella totally went on birth control
Moon: YESSSS
Calliope: because she thought she and Edward were gonna do it. Then he left, and she still took the pills
UC: that’s it! ding ding ding
Calliope: cuz she was planning on slutting it out, once she could function
Moon: she had a whole high school of boys to work her way through
Calliope: until Eddie showed up in her head that night at the movies
UC: with his van
Calliope: she was planning on gang banging all the boys, then Eddie showed up and got all possessive and what have you…and totally effed up her plan
Moon: and she got pissed and jumped in the van
Calliope: so the whole book she was trying to ditch Eddie so she could eff whoever she wanted

Bed in van

Eddie & Bella get it on here

Moon: and they had angry sex on the shag carpeting
Calliope: exactly
UC: Calli, you know an astonishing amount about creeper vans. For that I’m grateful…

NewMoon Book cover credit to Ew.com

It haven’t even read the completed post yet, but so far the draft for Moon’s LTR post today had me almost pee my pants. Go die now

Didn’t realize Calliope was such a hilarious gal? You’ll love Twilight Theatre. Join the forum now

Don’t forget to vote for your fav TwiPorn thru tomorrow night for our sorority: Wanna Tapa Vampa.

He's watching you...

He's watching you...

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • Pingback: Remember Me – What exactly IS Robert Pattinson’s new movie about? « Letters to Rob

  • unlikelyfangirl

    Long time lurker. You guys make me laugh EVERY DAY. Seriously, hope you’ve found a way to make money doing this because you have found your calling. I know how hilarious Calliope is too–I’ve read some Robsten threads:)

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      THANKS for coming out of lurkdom to tell us this! i love that my ‘calling’ is a twilight/rob blog.. whatever.. we have fun! calli & I work 2 miles from each other (met on here- it’s a coincidence) and we do lunch together.. and LAUGH.. that girl is amazing!

    • themoonisdown

      hi unlikelyfangirl! love the name and welcome to commenting!!

      my calling= rob!

  • Natasha

    HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA: Moon: oh yea, she grabbed some gaffers tape from the eletrical crew and made a fake push up

    Oh my oh my!

    • themoonisdown

      the oooolll gaffers tape trick! (actually it is one, thats the crazy part!)

  • dazzled

    I didn’t like this poster at all. I never got the impression from the book that Jacob and Bella were like that.

    I cracked up about yall talking about “Eddie” My girlfriend and I call him Eddie all the time to try to throw our husbands off. Don’t think it works.

    • Emily W

      I didn’t think so either. And if I’m remembering right, it’s cold through most of the book. So why the hell would she be in a tank top?!

      • themoonisdown

        tank top cause she’s slutty bella!

      • lapushbaby

        No sh*t, there are probably 5 days of the year in Forks you could wear that shirt outside for about an hour before you would go in and put on a sweater….maybe they have the heater turned way up in the Rabbit….my first car was a Rabbit, those heaters are GOOD.

  • LittleEngine

    Ya’ll are brilliant! Your in-depth analysis (BIDVFS) is so illuminating! As I read it, I got some really weird looks from my co-workers because I couldn’t stop laughing. (I may even have snorted on my coffee a couple of times!) I’m so glad that you share your insights with us! Keep up the good work!

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      oh THANKS LittleEngine.. and when i looked at your username real quick… i thought it said “LittleEddie’ :)

  • Sarita Pagita

    Thank you for making me lmao about this cover.

    I went serisously went fangirl apeshit all over it (http://stopdazzlingme.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/let-me-make-it-loud-and-clear/) so thanks for talking me down from jumping.

  • http://myuberfablife.blogspot.com Jaydey17

    I love the poster.
    I think it’s effing awesome.
    And you guys are effing hilarious!
    All that talk about tents and slags and creepy ‘Eddie’ and his van.
    Love!

  • http://www.twitter.com/midnightsunco Li Li

    It’s taken me like 10 minutes to comment cause I have been laughing so hard….there is so much brill in this post! Pretty much lost it when I noticed Eddie’s creepy eye in that last van pic. Awesome.

    Also, I like how the book cover says, “Now a Major Motion Picture”. Really? Are there peeps out there going, oh hey, this book looks good, oh, and its going to be a movie! Pretty sure the most of this world, whether they want to or not, knows that another movie is on the way.

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      haha SO TRUE!

    • lapushbaby

      I just laughed until I couldn’t breathe over Eddie’s eye in the last pic. omg, freaking hilarious!!

      • Proselyte3

        Where the heck is everyone seeing this eye???…….ohhhhhhhhhh. Hahahaha!

        • themoonisdown

          it’s WATCHING YOOOUUU!!! dodododododoooo

    • Tiffany

      Ahhahahahaha who are you people!? and why arent we best friends? the eye in the window hahahaha… Im dying….

  • dazzledtodeath

    Sleazy Eddie is hilarious- I love his fleet of molester/ drug dealer vans.However I can’t stand it when a fan fic refers to Edward as Eddie-it makes me cringe and want to stop reading(but I don’t).

    Hilarious as always. Sorry, I use hilarious a lot.

    • lapushbaby

      Me too, apparently. It is just so appropriate here!!

    • themoonisdown

      fleets of vans!!

  • alyssabender1

    This break down was so random…lol. I love how so many pictures of vans made it into the post (the last one was amazing). And I love how now when I see “New Moon”, I know whenever Edward comes on screen after he’s gone I’m just going to wonder where he parked his van.

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      hahahaha…. I texted a pic to moon & calli yesterday of a van in front of me as i drove to work. clearly we’ll only think of a van when we see eddie in the movie!

  • tracyvanhorne

    Thanks for these awesome lines, I may or may not have spit dr pepper all over my computer….

    She and Jacob did it in the Rabbit in the garage. Since Billy cant wheel himself over there. it’s Forks, it’s not like there anything else to do?! (uuuhhh, I’ve ALWAYS thought they totally did it, I mean I remember HS and there was nothing to ever do but fool around in some guys garage… )

    And she m-bates to Rob. not that I’m judging. Cuz I’ve read late night fanfic (yeah CH freaks me out…)

    you think Jacob’s pitching a tent behind Bella? (this may or may not have been the moment when I spit my dr pepper… )

    hey can pitch a tent in NM. By the rabbit. And he can pitch his tent in her (and then again here…. maybe….)

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      haha.. glad you liked it!

    • themoonisdown

      dont waste the DP!

  • Pinky

    It was far to early for this…seriously. My eyes are red and rimmed with tears from trying to contain my laughter.

    Eddie is my King…haha. I want to climb in his van, smoke weed, listen to power ballads and complain about how strict my parents are, while he sits back in the swivel seat with his tight jeans (David Lee Roth sock bulge included) and sucking his teeth, lol.

    • themoonisdown

      SWIVEL SEAT!!! yess!! you KNOW this van obviously

  • JGroIsMyEdward

    When I hear Eddie, I think creepy Eddie from FRIENDS, Chandler’s short-term roommate…lol. you guys are hilarious!

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      YES! good thought…. forgot about him!

  • sassysmart

    Fantastic break down. Eddie is the perfect van man…and as Wooderson says:

    “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”

    • themoonisdown

      wow that line could fit perfectly in twilight!

  • Melissa

    OH……MY……FLIPPIN……GOD!!! I have been laughing for a good 10-15 minutes from this post. My boss thinks I’m crazy laughing so hard while looking at my computer! Whenever he walks by, I change your page to a page about puppies so he doesn’t know what I’m reading which makes me laugh even harder! Thanks for making my Thursday! You’ve outdone yourself!

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      make sure you don’t accidentally pull up a pack of naked wolf puppies :)

  • JodieO

    I didn’t even notice the rest of the wolf pack in this photo. I was too busy being creeped out by Eddie’s creepy eye. Ever since I first saw this cover I’ve had the song “Man in the Moon” stuck in my head. Send help!

  • Proselyte3

    Dear Girls,

    A little pee came out, justsayin.

    Oh, and I kinda like that white van with the curtains. ;)

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      hahahahahhaha to both!

    • lapushbaby

      Ummm, yeah, between this and LTR epic posting,

      “A little pee came out, justsayin.”

      heh heh.

      But I consider that level of laughter an ab workout…..

      • Proselyte3

        Srsly, it toots counts.

        • themoonisdown

          i told UC the SAME thing last night! laughing burns calories AND works the abdominals!

  • shuddertothink

    omg…the van!! Also, not my original thought, but look closely at Edward’s nose on the book cover. I totally cannot stop seeing IT after someone else mentioned the resemblence. And IT follows you – like the wonky eye video. Scary…and I srsly never thought I’d say that about Rob’s IT!!!!

    If you don’t see IT, and have no idea what IT I’m talking about then you probably don’t have your mind in the gutter like me. Which is a good thing on so many levels…

  • Brooke Lockart

    Immediate reactions to this poster (I already shared most of these with you, UC, so pretend u haven’t heard it);

    1) My friend once told me that the twilight series is like a drugstore romance novel for teens. This cover only helps that theory along. Taylor, the new fabio? U decide.

    2) Bella/kstew is rocking some chicken cutlets. Hello busty broad. Lovely arm position to enhance the bustiness.

    3) Taylor is rocking a ‘I tapped that ass’ look. WHAT? They are supposed to be besties, no tapping going on!!
    4) Does Bella look like she taking a whiff? She’s definitely smelling her post-coital jake smell on her skin.

    5) Birth control!! She’s definitely been taking Seasonale which explains SM never talking to or addressing the her monthly flow in the books! (Does she go off the pill, to fit in her wedding dress, maybe? Or does Edward just have supervamp sperm that makes her ovulate anyway??)

    6) For those of u who have been on here for months thinking, who’s this Brooke chick…u know me. Look at my avi…u’ll figure it out. DON’T say it out loud. Just nod you head. And is you have been on here for months and still don’t get it, perhaps u should follow me on twitter and maybe I’ll DM u about it. off to get coffee! Gros Bisous!

    • Proselyte3

      *Nodding head*

      I do that crossing the arms, whilst squeezing the money makers up and out thing. Only when I deem it necessary of course. Never considered the tape? Hmmmm, something to ponder.

      • sassysmart

        Use clear packing tape, it hurts less than all the others. Trust.

      • Brooke Lockart

        I totally own some sticky boobs/chicken cutless for my girls. They stick on and attach in the front to squeeze the girls together I also own some double-sided tape to avoid wardrobe malfunctions. Wouldn’t want my Bs out and about for the masses.

        • Proselyte3

          Ya, and I don’t want my Bs *coughA’scough* fragrantly exposed for just anyone.

      • lapushbaby

        “Only when I deem it necessary of course. ”

        Sometimes it’s necessary when trying to get free drinks in a gay bar when the bartender is straight, justsayin.

        • themoonisdown

          “Sometimes it’s necessary when trying to get free drinks in a gay bar when the bartender is straight, justsayin”

          AMEN amen!

  • http://www.optimisticandindenial.blogspot.com Meg O

    You ladies are hilarious! Whenever I read New Moon again, the Edward that Bella keeps imagining will now be known as Eddie, haha. And that last van picture where “Eddie is watching” is hilarious!!!

  • Jena

    ROTFLMAO! “I’ve got 35 sites of vans open”.

    “She and Jacob did it in the Rabbit in the garage. Since Billy cant wheel himself over there. it’s Forks, it’s not like there anything else to do?!”

    I’m laughing so hard I’ve got tears and my nose is running!

    “THAT’S WHAT I SAID!”

    Moon, I’m jealous that Edward’s on top of you! ;-)

    • themoonisdown

      he’s behind me too! WHAAAATT WHAT!

      ps 35 van sites was my favorite part!

  • sassysmart

    Did anyone read on Twitter how Sam Bradley was riding around in a van?

    Coinqidink? I don’t think so.

    • themoonisdown

      YES!! sam IS eddie?! omg!

  • Janetrigs

    Fucking Rediculousness. And yes, I had to cuss and say that. Sorry. But I lurv it! And also lurv your version of Eddie!

  • hunnieb

    bahahhahhahhahhaa!!!!

    “She and Jacob did it in the Rabbit in the garage. Since Billy cant wheel himself over there. it’s Forks, it’s not like there anything else to do?!”

    that sure wokeme up!! hahaha!

    <3

  • Jena

    p.s. I’m totally crushing on creeptastic Edward!

  • Jena

    It’s 10am and I haven’t done anything at work yet, LOL!

  • http://webiteprettyhard.blogspot.com Fire Crotch

    Okay, so I totally had to cover up my laughter in the office with coughing…I think it worked brilliantly. Anyway, it takes a lot to make me laugh out loud at work, so here’s to you girls (*raising my Diet Dr. Pepper*), you are awesome! …and the vans…sweet baby Jesus…

    • Proselyte3

      …….. lying there in your…your little ghost manger, lookin’ at your Baby Einstein developmental…videos, learnin’ ’bout shapes and colors…

      Sorry. I saw an opportunity. :)

      • Tiffany

        that line is epic… hahahaha

    • themoonisdown

      DIET DP!! send me one

  • http://twitter.com/KatOfDiamonds KatOfDiamonds

    Senior Bella… no innocent junior.
    *dies of laughter*
    [then realized she'll be late to work or else this post would be longer.]

    • http://twitter.com/KatOfDiamonds KatOfDiamonds

      ps. DEF agree about the Mounds

  • Lynda from philly

    Jena: I’m starting to crush on Creeptastic Edward also. It’s something about his dark creepy stare; makes him look like such a badass badboy!!!

  • domisgone

    My husbands best friend had that type of van.

    He has long blond hair, greasy cause he doesn’t wash it… and has the whole kurt-cobain-grunge-look happening.

    CREEEEPPPYYY.

    He got rid of the van and is driving a toyota now lol.

    I missed the Quad. Thanks for bringing it back and breaking it down! :)

  • brummielover

    I must live in a bubble…who has these vans? who drives these vans? why do they drive these vans? thos are some freakin scary vans..thatsallimsayin!

  • lapushbaby

    Wow, just wow. I should really pace myself. Two epic posts in one day!! just when I thought there would not be another hilarious pic of a van, the last one took the freaking cake with Eddie’s creepy eye in the window……The cat had to get off my lap, because it was shaking too much with how hard I was laughing!

    (Also, I think I may have smoked pot in the back of that white van with the cute curtains once. At a Dead Show. In Oakland. In the 80s. Maybe….)

    • Proselyte3

      Maybe.

  • Sal

    anyone not think the background wolf pack look like they are castoffs from 28 days later and are more Zombies than hot wolf boys? I mean seriously, can I get a close up of hot-ass Paul? please?

  • Tiffany

    You guys are halirious… I too am amazed at how much Calliope knows about creeper vans… that conversation went on for a long time…. and Im not mad at you for it… I laughed my butt off… (not literally, although I wish).

  • Bobina

    I love it when you “break it down”. ‘When Eddie is(n’t) in the dark corners of your room- under your bed’ is he living in a his van DOWN BY THE RIVER?! just wondering.

  • http://www.kortniiscribbles.blogspot.com Kortnii

    This is the funniest post you guys have written in a while! I could not stop laughing.

    I think I died and went to Eddie heaven. which is like normal human hell, only with more hippie vans and one strangely good looking vampire offereing me candy through the smoke filled doors of said van.

    The Funniest thing is: my sister has a van….with no windows…we call it the phedo van. Im now going to call it the Eddie van. and wont tell her why….Ill just lol the entire time Im with her.

  • Team_Jacob

    U guys r 2 funny!!! Lol…birthcontrol pills…eddie the women slayer…vans.Guys ever looked into being a comedian u could be the the next George lopez or Oprah winfrey

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      hahaha.. i want to be the next george lopez!!!!!!!!!! XO

  • Aurélia

    This is the first time i comment here but girls, seriously, you make me laugh every single day !
    Finally some sane person who love mocking Twilight & Twi-hards !

    Thank you !

    (Sorry for the bad english, i’m from france)

    Btw, LOVE eddie&the van (sounds like a band name!)

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      Eddie & the van- you’re RIGHT a new band!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the comment love!

    • Brooke Lockart

      Bonsoir Aurélia! Je peux parler français! :-) Mais, seulement un peu. Gros Bisous!

      • Aurélia

        Ton français est parfait ! ;)

  • MelP

    HAHAHAHA, creepy Eddie, totally reminds me of that season of Friends where Chandler had the creepy Eddie roommate. What is it about Eddie’s and their creepiness???

    • MelP

      Umm clearly I didn’t read through all the comments before i posted. Oh well great minds think alike

  • NeverSwitchingTeams

    Classic breakdown.

  • AmberNGa

    LOVE this! You guys are a hit. Spot on with breakdown!!
    Tried to control my laughter, and couldn’t!! (Got those “Reading that Twishizz again” looks from my husband :-/)

    Needed this tho. Been such a sad news day! Thanks for putting a smile back in my heart. Will need to read this again for the chuckles.

    You guys need a spot at Twicon!! Show the pics and rock the breakdown! It would totally work! Thanks again…….

  • lvk1978

    I have to wait until late at night to read these posts ‘cuz LTT & LTR make my work computer crash (not to mention that we have that GD web filter now that only gives us 60 minutes/day of company “forbidden” sites).

    I suppose that’s lucky since I laughed my @$$ off reading this post. Dangit! If I’d been drinking my Diet Coke it would have come up through my nose! That Eddie stuff is some funny shite.

    As for the wolf PUP, he’s all yours. Not only do I NOT find him attractive in the slightest (no matter how many muscles he has), Junior there just turned 17 so, uh, yuckies. I like men not boys. Hell, even when I was his age I liked men!

    BTW, the PUP so totes did not do Bella. His naughty bits have shrunken to raisins from all the roids he’s downin’. Imjustsayin…

  • http://thepenks.wordpress.com thepenks

    can’t wait this movie on cinema… i hope this sequel become better than twillight… what do you think?

  • bobbygee

    Those vans are cool. The old hippie days. They are really great. Bobby Gee. great site. Thanks.
    http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

  • http://myria101.wordpress.com myria101

    Of all the talk about vans through this entire post and NONE of you ever threw in a “down by the river”?? WHAT?! Shameful.

    This was hilarious. Moon, UC, Calliope….lurve you all!

    M

  • sgregg6

    Moon: and the whole tribe is wondering whats gotten into the boys?!
    Calliope: each other- that’s whats gotten into them

    Aaahhh!!! That was the best!

  • Pingback: Top Posts « WordPress.com

  • Brinaaa.

    Ahahahaha! When I first found this website, I thought you were dissing Twilight and I was pissed, but now I think you’re hilarious!!! This is so effing funny!!! :]

  • Pingback: The one where Rob Pattinson goes emo on us « Letters to Rob

  • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

    I miss creepy eddie

Creative Commons License


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License
.

LTT Privacy Policy



Sponsored by