How do people know I like Twilight?

Dear Twilight,

I might be a little paranoid.  My Facebook quote has said for awhile:

Sometimes I go into a store, and try to be as casual as possible… but I just have this major fear that… they know…

twilight-book-coverI do! I fear that when I’m browsing the books at Target, not even LOOKING for Twi-stuff, everyone STARES at me when my eye catches the black cover of one of the books. When I’m in line at the checkout counter at the grocery store, and I casually pick up the latest Cosmo mag to see if they’re still trying to convince people that guys like hot/cold “down there” (they don’t…) and I notice a teeny tiny pic of Rob, I feel like people hear my heart skip a beat and STARE. I’m paranoid. Clearly

A friend recently wrote on my facebook wall, “UC! I haven’t talked to you in forever. I’m reading the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer (you know they’re a new fan when they give you too much info as if you wouldn’t know what series they were talking about) and my husband told me about your blog! I LOVE it!” Okay #1) How the H does your husband know about my little secret blog? #2) NOT ON MY FACEBOOK WALL! I know I act all uber open & passionate about Twilight on LTT & LTR, but I do not talk about it in person. It kills me not to correct someone when they call him “Robert Patterson” or say the series takes place in “Forks, Oregon,” but I don’t do it. I’m smoothe, I’m cool… I’m not outing myself for Twilight.

Recently Moon & I received an e-mail from a wonderful LTT/LTR reader named “K.” It said:

You found me on facebook!?  What?! I kinda felt like you guys do when people randomly mention your blog to you and you panic that people know.  I don’t mind reading hilarious blogs and sharing hot, goofy, or hilarious pics and other such things to people I’ve never met but share the same infatuation, but I need to salvage my dignity and reputation as a sane human being by pretending I don’t know what people are talking about when they mention sparkling men or naughty dumpster fantasies.

I’m the kind of person, that when asked if I’ve read/like Twilight, I respond, “yeah, I read the books a while ago (also last week) and thought they were pretty good.” Minor downplaying, you know, just so I’m still credible in the eyes of the rest of the human race.

Anyways, so I’m sure you can imagine my momentary dilemma when I got this friend request: to-be-friend or not-to-be-friend. As tempting as it was, I just had to click ignore.

So, I guess this is just my letter to you, apologizing for being that kid in high school who would myspace all weekend but pretend they’ve never seen you before come math class monday morning.

Anywho, I love you both though I’ll never publicly admit it. <3 K

We weren’t hurt! I would never be friends with us on Facebook if I wasn’t actually us. (Actually, neither one of us ARE friends with LTT on facebook… ha!)

Every ticket comes with a free pair of earplugs

Every ticket comes with a free pair of earplugs

So, I’ve been thinking about why I won’t “out” myself and really confess to my “real” world how big of a fan I am. Besides the obvious reasons of the crazy fan-girl lusty moments I have over Robert Pattinson, I think it’s because Twilight isn’t “okay” for adults to like. Don’t get me wrong- WE think it’s ‘okay’ because we GET IT. But I’d say the majority of people judge it as young adult/teenage-nonsense/MTV garbage. We’ve all read the interviews with Stephenie- she never set out to write Young Adult fiction…. I’m gonna argue that I don’t think she did write young adult fiction. I just think that’s the genre her publisher put her in.

Crap. Darn that Little brown bear. Or little Bear Brown… Whatever… Darn Steph’s publishing company for making me live a secret life. And while I’m ‘darning’ people (yes, I say darning, please love it), Darn Robert Pattinson for being so damn hot and making me get so lusty online that I have to hide in this virtual bubble where I spent the majority of my time. So much time that often when I come out of my bubble into the ‘real’ world I answer people by saying “That’s Normal,” introducing myself as “UC,” referring so often to my friend “Moon” in Los Angeles that I joke people must think we’re becoming “fake lesbians.” Yes, I get strange looks.

Maybe it’s not such a crazy idea to think that people are staring at me….Maybe I’m not as normal as I think…..

Nah, “That’s Normal”

Be Normal in The Forum
Lust over Rob on LTR
Read more Twilosophy here

So what is it? Why do most of us hide our obsession from our ‘real’ lives!?

  • ♥rob

    Hehehe I was totally one of those people who ‘used’ to call Robert ‘Patterson’ because I didn’t get it then. But boy, am I glad know better now. Do I hide this obsession, I always start my conversations as: so you’re read/seen twilight? whatcha think about it and go from there. So far, no luck, haven’t found an actual live encounter that I can share my giggles and hyperventilating with.

  • Cae

    This had me cracking up laughing so bad! I’m exactly the same…NO ONE MUST KNOW.!! To the point that I never comment on ANY Twi-sites I looks at… this is my one exception 😛 …never mind acknowledge Twilight in anyway in RL

    The only one who knows how twi-crazy I am is my husband, and he only knows because he sees our Favourites on explorer has a HUGE list under “Twilight’..otherwise it would be even more secret-squirrel!

    I wont even squee with my best friend who I know loves Twilight too, but is definitely not as TwiMad as me.. she also hasnt read all the books yet, so I think thats why :P..also being 25 makes me feel like i’m not allowed to be a squee-happy as the teenyboppers

  • TheColdWoman

    So I was at a movie with one of my girlfriends and she brought one of her other friends (who I don’t particularly like). We were waiting for the movie to start and somehow Twilight came up. Other friend had read them too and I ALMOST outed myself but just kept it to, yeah, I read them… pretty good. Wonder if they’ll make the fourth one into a movie…

    She was even more nonchalant about her fandom. And if she’s a Twilight fan, I might have to start liking her now. CRAP.

  • MariaCecilia

    Yes, this is hilarious but true! I am constantly in two minds when I meet people I like and know: should I alert them to the wonderful world that is Twilight for me, at the risk of outing myself? How do I tip them off, without exposing myself. *Sigh*

    So, is it better to have a secret love life – is that part of why we do it, or is it only the potential shame and disgrace of being regarded as a lunatic/ immature person that holds us back?

    Sometimes I think that hugging a secret life to myself that has nothing to do with all my work and social responsibilities is part of the reason why I won’t leave the closet. This is MY closet! Although I don’t mind sharing it virtually with all you lovely people, who I sometime suspect must be the only ones who really understand (this side of) me!

    Oh, and incidentally, Moon, this is one of the reasons I have kept away from Facebook and other social networks on the Internet – I don’t want my inner life to be anywhere except inside myself. I want TOTAL CONTROL! (I am an Edward that way…) 🙂

  • Live720

    At first I was like, “heck, I’m completely out and open about my Twilight obsession and weird addiction to Rob’s jawporn. Heck, I have pictures of Rob all over my lap top wallpaper and sit with it wide open in class. My friends giggle at me, but they all love Twilight just as much as I do (a college graduate class of 29 of us–all read and discussed Twilight).

    That’s when it hit me and I realized I am ashamed of it, at least to some extent. It hit me just the other day when my fiance asked me if he could follow me on Twitter. I instantly yelled “NO!” because I knew that would mean all of his friends/coworkers would realize that I not only read Twilight fan fic, but I also write it as well! *gasp*

    Needless to say, I have a top secret Twitter that I only use for my Twilight ladies and fellow fan fic authors. I guess that means I’m not completely out of the closet just yet!

    P.S. UC I totes feel the same EXACT way when I’m shopping in Wal Mart or Target and I pass the Twilight books. Actually, it’s especially worse when I go to Barnes and Noble and there’s a huge display of all things Twilight. I seriously can’t bring myself NOT to look, and the moment I do, I swear to all that’s holy there is some guy my age starring at me. I know he’s thinking, “Oh look at her, another Twilight freak.” I try my best to shun the books and give them the cold shoulder only to feel guilty about it later. I love you Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse…really I do. I’m sorry for ever disowning you.

  • litlving

    I know I said I don’t give a shit about who thinks what and am open… but as I read about your Twitter situation, you got me thinking – NO WAY I would allow my man to follow my CURRENT account.. I’m afraid he could get worried 🙂

  • Ozkitty

    Been away a while so this is a little after the fact but…..
    Twilight is a DIRTY LITTLE SECRET (DLS!) for so many sensible, mature women! I can so relate to everything you say. Being selective and cool about who you talk to about it and what you say is normal! And a little sad-I wish I could show the passion my 14 year old can show unashamedly but that would just be wierd! And I miss the feeling of my first time-nothing ever quite matches it.
    Thank goodness for your blog where we can vent our true feelings,secretly!
    You girls are awesome and I am glad to say I would be embarrassed to admit I know you in public! If that makes any sense!!lol

  • Pingback: My favorite part of the Twilight fandom: Clueless guys! « Letters to Twilight()

  • ScienceGeek91

    Holy Crap! I thought I was the only one living this ‘secret life’…..
    I was sooo embarassed when one of my friends posted pictures of Rob on my facebook profile and one of my cousins saw that and she was like “so you are into twilight, huh?” …I didn’t even reply back to her….I told my mum the entire story and made her watch the film yet whenever the word twilight appears on my laptop screen and she happens to be standing there, I try to inconspicuously close that window….
    What is wrong with me? I am so embarassed to talk about Twilight on Facebook…..

  • I would take that vampire over the werewolf anytime. Smoking kills. If I had to choose between a wolf with addiction problems and a vampire who wanted too much, I’d blow the vampire. Lol.

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License

LTT Privacy Policy

Sponsored by