Should Breaking Dawn be turned into a movie?

bdawnDear Summit,

It’s us again. Writing you for the second time this week. Don’t run away in fear- this time we’re not here to criticize. The big news this weekend is that the new website you launched- The World of Twilight- has a ‘coming soon’ link for Breaking Dawn. This is BIG. We’ve heard many of the actors say they’re signed on for the 4th installment of the series, but so far you’ve been mum on whether or not you’re going ahead with the highly anticipated and highly controversial movie.

I’m gonna be honest- there are a few huge issues with turning that book into a movie, and I’m not convinced that it’s going to translate very well onto film. I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with a way you could market the film considering some of the problems I’ve foreseen. I came up with a few teasers you could use- see if you think any of them would work:

  • S-I-C-K-N-A-S-T

    S-I-C-K-N-A-S-T

    Breaking Dawn- the story of how a half-vampire baby bites its way out of its mother’s womb while its vampire father kills the mother by biting all over her bloody body.

  • Breaking Dawn- watch the magic of the movie makers as they create a believable baby using CGI who can communicate through touch. We promise it’ll be the most believable and the least cheesy CGI baby you’ve ever seen.
  • Breaking Dawn- A movie that will surly have Robsten lovers orgasming in their theater seats as they finally get to see Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart, a couple they desperately want to be their real-life Bella & Edward, do it. A lot.
  • Breaking Dawn- Watch as a teenage boy falls for a little girl. No! Not like that! We promise, even Chris Hansen would like this movie!

Obviously you can see the problems I’m talking about. Breaking Dawn is a love story marketed to teenage girls, not a horror flick with scenes bloodier than Saw 1-8 combined (there are 8 of them now, right?)  Renesmee is a very special baby and while I believe Stephenie beautifully portrays her abilities on page, there is no way in hale that that will translate into a movie without being incredibly cheesy and/or very fake.

isleesmeWhat I foresee with Robsten finally getting it on on screen could be disastrous.  Picture my first viewing of Twilight the movie. I was sitting next to this little chubby 10 year old wearing a Team Jacob shirt. I said, “Why are you Team Jacob?” And she answered, “Cuz he’s the best.” And then I bitch-slapped that lil chubster. But then I felt really bad cuz she confessed that Hot Topic only had smalls left in the Team Edward shirts. This was in November of 2008- the passion for the franchise was there, but nothing like it is now. And Breaking Dawn won’t be released until, what? Maybe February 2011? There will be absolute chaos in movie theatres across the country when Non-Robsteners yell out “Her boobs are small” when Bella first takes off her clothes in the moonlight or “That should’ve been Ashley Greene!” as Edward starts to break the headboard in the bedroom. Robsteners will go crazy. Breaking headboards and ripping pillows will be nothing compared to what the movie theatres will look like after the fight is over.

And when Jacob imprints on Renesmee? It doesn’t matter that it’s not sexual and is just a “big brother” kind of thing- every one knows that Jake is a teenage boy and thinking about the day his ‘lil Nessie grows up. And Chris Hansen ain’t down with that.

But you’re movie makers. And you’re in the business to make money. And no matter how bloody, cheesy, barf-me cuz it’s Robsten, and pedofilial the movie ends up being, fans are gonna crowd the theaters, camp out for the premiere & scream for joy when Edward loses his virginity finally. So you’ll make the movie, regardless.

Here are a few suggestions I have to hopefully help Breaking Dawn not suck.

  • Fade to Black: Stephenie Meyers did it and you can too- but just choose a different scene to fade from. Kristen can clutch her fake baby bump, stutter and blink & attempt to feign pain- she faints- it goes black. We see through her eyes…then black…hear her breathing…black…see a baby being held over her head…black…and then taken away by Rosalie…And then the camera pans to Edward who is working to change Bella. But instead of a horror bloodbath scene and Edward injecting a huge needle into Bella’s heart, we see his face, diligently working on his beloved….then black….

    TWILIGHTLOVE

    "We are family. I got my half vampire baby and me"

  • Rob, Rob and more Rob: Obviously Isle Esme is the most anticipation part of Breaking Dawn the movie. If you thought fans went crazy at the sight of shirtless Edward in New Moon, just wait until they see Sexytimes Edward. Suggestion to please all crowds- lots and lots of Robert Pattinson. Sure, show Kristen’s face once just so we know Edward didn’t grab the housemaid to warm up, but then show nothing but Rob- his back, his side, his arms, his ass (would this ensure an “R” rating? Cuz I’d love to see Breaking Dawn without a 10 year old next to me) his face, his lips- Rob, Rob and more Rob…
  • The Olsen Twins: All I know is that a CGI baby won’t work. But I know the Olsen twins would. Those girls are experts on winning over the world with their baby-ways…. hire them, they’ll figure out how to train a newborn baby how to act- and if they can’t they probably have a factory in some third world country that can come up with some alternative.
  • Jake, Renesmee and Quil

    Jake, Renesmee and Quil

    No imprinting: Yes, I know… it’s powerful- Jacob imprints on the woman he love’s baby. I get it. It’s special, blah blah blah.. but it also works better on paper than it will on screen. I just can’t see Taylor Lautner looking longingly at a small child like he’s going to be her big brother but also knowing that someday they’ll get it on. It doesn’t matter how much coaching Big Daddy Lautner gives him (“Just gaze at her like I gaze at the oven while your mom has double fudge chocolate chip brownies baking- you want them now, but it’ll be worth the wait.”) so sure- hint at the fact that someday Jake & Nessie will end up together, but leave out the messy, creepy imprinting on a child crap.

It won’t be perfect, it will have to deter from the book slightly, but from the gazillions Stephenie has been making so far, I think she’ll be fine with it (To be doubly sure, just invite her to view the Isle Esme filming- one look at Robert Pattinson naked eating feathers will cure any anger she has towards you for messing with her book)

Looking forward to seeing Kristen & the child cast as Renesmee catch their first CGI deer,
UnintendedChoice

Just an FYI- I loved Breaking Dawn, didn’t have a problem with Renesmee, Jacob imprinting or a bit of Isle Esme (duh) But I want to keep the book in my mind- I don’t want to see it on the big screen. Although I have a feeling I’m not going to get my way….

Do you think it could work? Breaking Dawn on the big screen?

all images found on Google images- well, except for the Bella’s Womb one. That’s a craft I made last night. Just for fun.

Go make your own creepy craft & post to The Forum
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  • fanofrob

    You guys are hilarious! I love it! What about the Edward and the pillow bitting scene comment. lol. Too funny.

  • Beth

    New poster…love the site!

    I actually loved BD and really hope it gets made into two movies.

    For anyone concerned about CGI Renesmee, there have been some major advances in techniques. There is a video on this site: http://www.image-metrics.com/project/emily-project which is a pretty good example of their work. The girl in the video is not perfect…her eyes and mouth look a little off at times…but this video was made at least a year ago, so they may have even made some amazing strides since then. I think they will be able to do Renesmee justice, as long as they don’t skimp on budget for the film.

  • Beth

    I guess no one will read this since it’s a few days old and the concert Rob/Kris sighting is taking over. I do hope someone sees this, though, as it gives me hope for BD.

  • Kathi

    I had heard rumors that Summit was thinking about making Breaking Dawn into 3 movies. Seems a little much. I think that 2 movies make sense, because the length and content.
    The first movie should end right when Edward changes Bella, you know, fade to black with her “burning”.
    What bugs me the most about Summit is that they seem to think that the movies have to be 90 minutes. Why? Make them 120 minutes or 160. If Harry Potter can be 21/2 hours long, why can’t these movies???
    If Twilight would have been 120 minutes, we could have seen the “blood typing” scene, or Bella reading in her backyard with Edward watching her. Or what about watching the Lorenzo’s Oil in the dark in Biology class??

  • Beth

    I know, right? Titanic made HOW much? Make the movies the length they need to be. That said, I don’t want to see 3 movies because these poor kids are overworked as it is (not to mention the fact that they are not getting any younger). I would gladly settle for 2 long movies. I really hope they can work it all out.

  • Danielle

    Agree with getting rid of the imprinting! People who haven’t read the book won’t get it. I just don’t think it will translate correctly. And Taylor is most likely not looking froward to looking like a pedophile for life on a Breaking Dawn dvd. It just won’t work. Idk it will be a lil weird.

  • karelyn

    Who is that girl in the picture with Taylor lounter????? Sorry if it was allready answered can someone answer for me rite now????Who is that girl in the picture with Taylor lounter?????

  • Ava

    I’m really apprehensive about the whole issue of turning Breaking Dawn into a movie. I totally agree that it’ll be really hard – almost impossible – to create Renesmee well. Not to mention, it will be expensive, and the people at Summit are CHEAP.

    But about the whole “ohmygod-we’re-all-going-to-see- them-naked” issue, it’s not a problem. Believe me, Summit wouldn’t dare even show as much as Rob’s ugly behind. (Yes, I DO think he’s ugly. Deal with it) Can you imagine the complaints????

  • ignorant wanderer

    it’s already bad enough that the wolves look like cute siberian huskys. the CGI babies would probably not work out.

    imprinting on Renesmee? hmm.. how would i picture that? imprinting??? those types like stamping on the skin? tattoo? can’t possibly imagine it. i’d sure like to see how it’ll come up though.

    the whole thing about edward being naked and all? i just feel like puking. can’t it follow the book? adding bits of stuff is fine with me but the whole naked thing is just unbearable for me.
    referring to MariaCecilia’s statement:
    “Since, who are we kidding, what female in her right mind would NOT want to see a shirtless Robert Pattinson biting pillows, with or without Kristen in the background, out of focus? I can keep my eyes shut for the rest of the movie if I get some of that…”
    i’m a girl alright. but i just can’t bring myself to picture it…

    Renesmee aging faster would be a thumbs up. I’d sure like to see her grow. What worries me is that how are they gonna find people who’d look like Renesmee(if it were a CGI baby, then i guess it’s okay since they can edit the face to look like the person who’d portray Renesmee in her teens ect.? i mean, people don’t really change their looks as they grow older. maybe a slight change like losing baby fat on cheeks or having a double-chin formed… i’m really wondering how the heck are they gonna solve that?

    cutting off the wolf communicating telepathically is a HUGE YES. i hate movies with toooooooo MUCHH talking. especially when it just drags the whole movie and making it a whole lot more boring. howling would suffice.

    maybe Breaking Dawn would be like those CSI tv shows. We get to see Bella being cut up and see her heart and all.
    ooohh. that would be sick. The fading idea is just awesome. i mean, who the heck would wanna see those gory scenes (i kinda do, but in Twilight’s case..not at all) and blood everywhere? I’d puke into my popcorn.

    one thing i don’t get is.. what the hell’s with TEAM EDWARD and TEAM JACOB ?????
    i’m sorry to say that i don’t find either one of them characters or actors appealing. *sigh*

  • Jaco E.Black

    I think S.M. should have put a partin new moon were Bella falls a littel in love with jacob becuse edward is gone for to long and she thinks he’s not coming back and they bang bang bang becuse like,who dosent want to bang a warewolf or “shape shifters”(edward calls them) , like if seths sis came to my house(yeah she is a bitch, but still) i would be trying to hit on that shit and i’m 12 years old.
    Like, I read all 4 books in 6 months after b.d. came out and jacob never gets any ponany and wene he finds someone who he knows he is going to get it from he has to wat another year and a half, what he wont even get it in the time period cuse Bella is going to be a bitch and not let them so, thill bella dies he wont get any(like in another 16,fucking0000 years) pore jacob man:/

    p.s. Bella’s hot ;)

  • http://www.metroflog.com/veztidozdemoda ariadna itzel

    Holaa!!! Me encanthaa la Pelicula de Lunaa Nuevaaa !!

    y tambiien TAYLOR LAUREN

    es laa mejoor pelicula de toodoo el mundoo

    no sabeen cuantooh me encanthaa se lor juroo

    y a mi mejor amiigaa que se llama FLOR le gustaah un poco porque la verdaad ella tiene un genio de la pATADA de veraaz!!!

    De todo se enoja y yo iguaal

    Se kuidaan

    Los Amoooo!!!

    Bye

  • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com Melina

    And i forgot to say Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) is better than Edward Cullen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • karen cullen hale

    me encanta las pelis de la saga agan 24 libros sí es posible sí yo misma los ire a comprar y mis felicitaciones a stephany meyer ahora la mejor escritora para nosotros los adolentes paranoicos jeje… bueno yo no soy normal siempre exajero las coas de lo común pero en esto no exajero es la mejor iper archi recontra extraordinaria y sere fan hasta el final…
    saludos a los cullen y a los hale (mi familia)

  • Anna-lou

    I must have BREAKING DAWNNNNN THE MOVIEE!!! It’s the best book out of the series!!! then eclipse, twilight then new moon!!!!

  • Erin

    omfg eww ur using that thing to represent bellas woom!?
    if so that thing looks as though edward coughed up blood and the othe food he ate whaen he was human! please do not use it!!!

  • Hope

    unintendedchoice I completely agree with your fade to black suggestion. I was brainstorming this dilemma and quickly hopped to the web to see if anyone else had shared my idea and I find yours. Although my fading to black thing was related to the beating of her heart…*sigh* if only summit could get the memo

  • http://www.myspace.com/zantheqeekwadd Keely Renee

    I definately think breaking dawn should be one movie and not two. && i just would like to put out there that i adore the series i read the whole series in 24 hours after they all were released. && one by one i read them each in less than one day. I just couldnt put them down. i applaud Stephanie Meyer for her wonderful, heartfelt story. It truly is my favorite series right now && ever since i first read it. So yeahh

  • hyda

    i think Rob is so cute and the Breaking Dawn and eclipse will be the best movies out there

  • Taryn

    I love the Isle Esme idea! Rob rob and more rob. Thats great! I’m not such a huge fan of him though that I can’t see Taylor either. And just one thing I have to say about the whole Team Edward/ Jacob thing. Edwards taken (dumn Bella) and so is Jacob, so does that leave us with only team MIKE,no I am soo for Team Eric, the actor who plays him is so cuter than the one that playes Mike!

  • Ammara

    When I read BD I LOVED IT! and soooo want a movie made for it. BUT i rather the Isle Island bit left out cuz its just gonna make me cringe :S

    AND Jacob HAS to imprint on Renesmee. If he dosnt then the whole story is spoilt.

    LOL what is that picture on renesmee, jacob and quil about? It made me laugh until i wet my self.

    Anyways the movie has to be made!

  • kalli

    breaking dawn will be awesome i am sure but everyone is saying that it will be rated R and that it will be split into 2 parts. cross your fingers it won’t be

  • Kathy Deschaines

    I would like to know if nessie will continue to grow old fast or when she gets with jacob it slows it down.
    I hope that they don’t chop up the movie into little pieces, a lot in book four for a two hour movie.
    Will they make two two hour movies out of Breaking Dawn or just make it a three or four hour movie?, which will be A ok with me. And if they make it a rated R you won’t get any complaints out of me LOL
    We can always tell the “to young” what happen’s in a pg way of course. LOL kidding

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