Kristen & Taylor: The real life Bella & Jacob?
Dear Jake & Bells,
I think you have competition for the cutest friends that have ever lived:
Yes. Kristen & Taylor- or… that’s at least what Moon & I think…
Moon: so now that we’ve seen this video….don’t you love how KStew acts like shes old and wise. PUH LEASE girl!
UC: right…. you’re 19!!!
Moon: I liked her at the beginning with the smile stuff and then she had to get all “old soul” on us and talk about cajones
Moon: WAiT TiLL YOU GROW UP A LiTTLE and shut it
UC: side note- I love in that interview at the TCAs when he’s asking about the teenage years and doesn’t realize she’s STiLL a teen, and she’s pretending she’s not… but also knows everyone knows she is..and it’s a big ol’ awkward turtle
Moon: it’s cause she acts like she’s 50. Be 19. Dude I wasnt that serious at 19
UC: seriously. do keg stands- leak naked pictures of yourself or SOMETHiNG
Moon: Kellan will hold your legs while you do a keg stand- he’s a pro I can tell
UC: he’s done a LOT of keg stands…and then spent a lot of time in prayer the following day
Moon: Taylor would 100% be headed in his footsteps if he was a normal kid going to college soon- he’s so that good times guy. Just laughing it up, joking around- he just seems like a good time
UC: I have a feeling Taylor’s read some- oh dang.. what’s it called? Oh yeah… Wild at Heart
Moon: Like Taylor’s the guy you want to run errands with you on Saturday cause even though it’s mundane, it’s gonna be a lot of fun
UC: he’s probably gone on the Wild at Heart conferences where they go into the wild & think about how to never masterbate again…. with Big Daddy, of course
Moon: well if Taylor’s read Wild at Heart than KStew most defs needs to read Captivating
UC: dude I don’t think it’s called Wild at Heart– I think that’s the movie about the horse & the blind girl
Moon: it is wild at heart and also the movie. and the girl’s version of the book is Captivating
UC: First off, I love that you know what movie i’m talking about. and #2, I recently sold Captivating on ebay, and I’m pretty sure the address I shipped it to was for “Bella Stewart” somewhere in Vancouver…
Moon: totally cried at that movie when she went blind! and he loved her anyway….
UC: so.. you’re right…. Kristen is reading Captivating
UC: TOTALLY cried- my fav movie when I was growin up
Moon: she needs to learn how to get captivating
UC: I haven’t seen it in years
Moon: maybe it’s wild hearts cant be broken??
Moon: whatever I get the two confused
UC: it’s often that I confuse men’s books on how not to lust vs. Disney films about blind chicks riding horses
Moon: I want to see Taylor & Kellan at a promise keepers event
UC: with Big Daddy and Kellan’s dad
Moon: And Big Daddy will wear a shirt that reads, “real mean sing real loud”
Moon: oh Promise keepers
UC: tens of thousands of men in the same room talking about how sometimes they jack off to thoughts of someone other than their wife.
Moon: while Phillips Craig and Dean lead the alter call. And then they all hug it out at the end and pile back into the church van
UC: church jokes are fun
What’s this site about again? Oh yeah, Twilight. We get back to it after the jump…
Moon: dude I wonder how many more years Taylor’s going to be able to do those back flips- he barely makes it over these days
UC: I know… his muscles weigh him down- I say… give him until he’s 20. Once you hit your 20’s… it’s all downhill from there
Moon: Or when he starts drinking
UC: so… his 18 birthday when kristen & nikki buy him his first shot
Moon: one drunk backflip off nikki reeds couch and he’ll stop doing that
Moon: February whatever might be a national holiday this year. It’s like when all those creepo’s were counting down to the Olsen twin’s 18 birthday- only this time we’re the creepo’s, and he doesn’t have a twin
UC: Unfortunately- if he did we could share
Moon: or a clothing line at target
UC: Or sparkly lipgloss at Wal-mart
Moon: but I’m sure he can say “how rude” with the best of them
UC: making Uncle Jesse proud- “Have Mercy” (I think we alone have talked about Full House more than the entire world has in the past 10 years)
Moon: as much as I hate to say this for him, he is SOOOO Jacob
UC: SOOO Jacob- poor kid
Moon: I get that he’s Taylor and Jacob is a character, but DUDE he SOOO has Jacob characteristics
UC: all that talk about thinking he’s smokin’ for 17.. and being excited for the great date in Feb 2010 when he turns 18…..when it comes down to it, it doesn’t matter. He’s just that guy- that friend that will buy you tampons, and bring you your heating pad.
Moon: he’ll be your wing dude at the bar and fend off any creepersons
UC: and hold your hand during the scary parts in the movie, but when he leans in… sorry Jakey.. Sorry Tay… you’re just not Edward.
Moon: sad- here’s a thought…
UC: Bring it
Moon: is Jacob ANYONES Edward??
UC: ooohh – deep
Moon: sometimes I wanna say yes, cause I’d much rather laugh and have a good time then brood and run around the forest
UC: “they” say there is someone out there for everyone
Moon: “they” say a lot of things
UC: So you’re saying you want HIM to be your Edward cuz of the laughing rather than brooding?
Moon: I’m saying sometimes I’d much rather have the “Jacob” than the “Edward” cause the Jacob seems more of a life companion
UC: Edward is the dream
Moon: and the Edward seems more like this all encompassing tidal wave that can’t sustain itself
UC: Jacob is the really amazing & awesome reality- Also- Edward kills animals and eats them without cooking them. Which is pretty gross.
Moon: This just got deep
Moon: ok so KStew totally ruins the video halfway through. UGH. Shut up
Moon: can we talk Taylor’s LAUGH? It’s hilarious!!! It goes all high-pitched
UC: I think he’s still going through puberty. I mean.. I’m sorta Team Taycob these days, we know that, but… when he talks. He kinda sounds 14 and like he’s doing a karate video again.
Moon: shall we talk how KStew is NOT Bella (besides that fact she looks smokin?)
UC: she doesn’t have to say “I’m so not Bella” um, we know.
Moon: we get it, and don’t lump all Twilight fans into the 13yr old category- we like OTHER kinds of movies too
UC: right…. like…. I just saw the new Woody Allen movie, better-than-everyone, Kristen Stewart, and guess what? I declared it the best movie of the last 5 years… and did not find it sub-par and kinda pathetic like I did a movie you might be familiar with…because you were in it…
Moon: oh she is special some days
UC: however…. Kristen & Taylor together are all sorts of cute
Moon: omg SOOO cute
UC: and all sorts of exactly like Bella & Jacob
Moon: she needs him to calm her shiz down- I can handle her much more when theyre together
UC: and did you read the EW article when she says she can only smile around him and would kill for him?
UC: Do you think Tay’s into her at all?
Moon: in that older sister’s friend-crush sorta way
UC: yeah you’re right- the girls he’s with are bubble-gum cute (and sure to have a sex tape leak in a year or two) like Selena…Taylor swift… Wolfgirl
Moon: I think Kristen’s reaction is just everyone general reaction to Taylor- you can tell from that Rachelle (RIP) and Nikki Reed interview- they LOVE him and think he’s like the best thing since sliced bread- GOOD JOB Big Daddy!
Moon: theyre so stinkin cute
UC: he’s grazing the ass for a second thinking…. ‘my first butt grab!”
Moon: he’s like I gotta cop a feel when I can
UC: Also… it’s a safety hazard to fight wearing that necklace..she could get strangled. I’m concerned for her safety- And then she’s like “dude.. you just turned 13 with that laugh”
Moon: ew she’s probably into being strangled
UC: totes. she’s def. into dark & kinky stuff (or at least she was in The Sub)
Moon: dude I wish Forever Dawn would be published……….along with the rest of Midnight Sun……and the post Breaking Dawn Jacob/Renesmee story……….the pre Twilight Jasper/Alice story………..
UC: the Rob & my love story and the behind the scenes gossip story on who hooked up with who during Twilight filming- including the scoop on if Catherine did or did not take advantage of Kellan while he was sleeping..
Moon: I’m not sure he was sleeping……..
UC: I know. It’s a tough call. On the one hand, I’d hope he was asleep- keeping true to his Christian spirit, but… I have a feeling he…. fell
Moon: he probably goes down to the OC every other week for a little cougar lovin’
See? They’re just like you. Watch out- Next I predict that in 23 years Taylor will hook-up with Kristen & Rob’s love child.
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
These two look HOT together- How many more days people!?
Thanks to TwiCrack for all the amazing Taycob Kristella pics
Tags: , bella swan, big-daddy lautner, Captivating, Catherine Hardwicke, cougar, Full house, Jacob & Bella, jacob black, kellan lutz, Kristen & Taylor, Kristen Stewart, New Moon, New Moon movie, Olsen Twins, Promise Keepers, Rob Pattinson, Taycob, Taylor Lautner, Twilight, Twilight saga, Uncle Jesse, Video, Wild at Heart, Wild Hearts can't be broken, WolfGirl, Woody Allen