I know it seems SO romantic. Two girls meet at music school and don’t become friends. Years later they reconnect randomly online. Their friendship grows slowly and then intensifies over a shared passion for a vampire love story and its leading man. One day that passion turns into a blog to be shared with “one or two close friends.” And ten and 1/2 months later we’ve become UC & Moon- former frenemies turned creative partners. Countless hours, laughs & tears turned an idea from a boring December day at work into a community we both love & are proud of. Great story, right? Yeah, it’s not that perfect. You see, Moon & I clash. We fight. We stamp our feet. We throw temper tantrums. We act like kids when we don’t get our way. We aren’t former frenemies for no reason. We don’t want to hide this from you. We feel like we’re painting a picture of perfection that is so untrue. So today we bring you: UC & Moon: Bring it on
Brooke: Are you guys excited that your teams are playing each other today?
UC: duh of course. I’ve been texting “Bring it” to Moon every 5 minutes
Moon: And my auto response I’ve set up is “OH it’s already been broughten!”
UC: it’s getting pretty intense up in here
Moon: Just the way we like it! Can you feel the tremors of my teams rage?!
UC: But we all know at the end of the day, my team wins
Brooke: so who do you think will win? What’s your team got that the other doesn’t?
UC: Duh. Mine sparkles
Moon: Eff the sparkles! We can play any time of the day! All your team throws are glitter bombs, we’ve got heat
Brooke: Ugh, guys.. wait a sec—
UC: Well, mine has a PERFECT body (not to mention is of LEGAL age)
Moon: We’ve got social security cards and birth dates that were issued within the past 2 decades
UC: We don’t die
Moon: we won’t break!
UC: We make tweed look HOT
Moon: We mend in like 5 minutes
UC: We don’t need to mend
Moon: We ROCK JORTS like no ones every rocked a pair of cut off denim shorts
UC: We don’t need to BATHE
Moon: well thats just gross
Brooke: UC? Moon?
UC: At the end of the day WE get the girl. ON isle Esme. We DO it with her. MANY TIMES (wow. I am a girl and i just said that) Uh….scratch that
Moon: we have tattoos!
UC: We have a crest and the girls get it dyed on their hoo ha
Moon: you are gay
UC: You are small and smell like a wet dog
Moon: small? We’re like 6’7″
UC: Yeah whatever
Moon: you look UP to us
UC: You hang out with a pack of BOYS and a potentially lesbian girl. YOU’RE the gay one
Moon: YOU’RE A VIRGIN and have been for 100 years
UC: YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH A CHILD and should be thrown in jail. Not to mention it’s MY Team’s Child. That we made. When we BANGED your former love
Find out who wins the fight (I do) after the jump!
Moon: Girls BEG you to get it on with them and you refuse! WHO’s the closet case?
UC: You’re the FRIEND who gets the snuggles and to cheer the sad heart… but at the end of the day, I see the expensive French lingerie.
Moon: you LEFT her in a forest! and ran off to beg some old ass vampires to kill you like a lil’ bitch
UC: You drive a VW rabbit. Who’s the lil bitch?
Moon: I built that damn car with my hands!
UC: You’re a dude who works on CARS and will be on the ‘res’ his whole life. I went to HARVARD. SIX TIMES
Moon: and you’re STILL a VIRGIN. Harvard doesn’t make you cool- it makes you a nerd
Moon: Dude it was YOUR nomad freaks who killed our town santa claus! Nevermind that he often showed a little crack. Who the eff are we going to get our little bottles from now?
UC: I don’t NEED a Santa to give me little bottles. I can walk into a liquor store and dazzle the clerk into giving them to me for free!
Moon: but you DRINK BLOOD so it’s a waste
UC: You eat Animal carcass RAW- the MEAT!!! I throw out the meat, and look hot doing it
Moon: F*CK YEAH! We’re red-blooded American MEN (and one potentially lesbian female). Throw that meat on the grill
Brooke: I’ll just be here.. waiting for you to stop
Moon: You’re all pansy, soy-eating vegetarians
UC: The guy who PLAYS the lead on MY team may or may not be effing a really hot chick (who your Team jacks off to thinking of)
Moon: The dude who plays the lead on MY team, Taylor may or may not be effing a chick with the SAME first name! Talk about AWESOME
UC: And by EFFING I’m sure you mean dry humping b/c he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s a child who is is dry humping in the back of a VW Rabbit
Moon: sex can wait, masturbate
UC: They’re humping like rabbits in the back of a rabbit!!!
Moon: at least she won’t have a tabloid cover about being pregnant! Plus- dry humping to “You were meant for me” is romantic
UC: My teams’ real life dad is named Dick. Talk about a Manly name. Yours bought out all the Vancouver area’s McDonald’s fish filet sammys
Moon: it’s called preserving the ECONOMY! If McDonalds stays in business we ALL win
UC: Uh, I think my Team preserves the economy by it’s sale of sexual paraphernalia. Yours uses up all our country’s resources with Chris Hansen busting down doors and throwing people in jail.
Moon: We breathed new life into the denim market. Jorts in October, WHO KNEW?
UC: Well, when you’re a sweaty dog it makes sense
Brooke: OKAY I’M GONNA STOP YOU RIGHT THERE. Cuz you’re driving me insane
Moon: WHY?! I was just getting warmed up
UC: Seriously.. pick a side Brookie. This is fun
Brooke: yeah, it seems great. but you’re idiots
UC: EFF YOU
Moon: TEAM BROOKE SUCKS
Brooke: Today.. the Philadelphia Phillies play the Los Angeles Dodgers in LA. Moon- you are from LA. UC- you are from Philly. What is wrong with you girls?
Brooke: Don’t you care about America’s favorite past-time?
UC: I like Vampires. And Rob
Moon: So you’re saying Team Jacob and Team Edward aren’t playing each other??
UC: I’m mad at Moon now. I’m all worked up. Why didn’t you interrupt us, Brookie?
Moon: BRING IT
UC: Oh it’s being brought
Moon: Your fans are moms and crazy single chicks. Team Jacob’s are teen girls and internet pervs! Never underestimate the power of a screaming 14 yr old and a person named itslegalifitslove69
UC: Um.. they’re called MILFs for a reason. They’re Moms you wanna EFF
Moon: are you SURE about that?
UC: Hell no. Some of them scare me and my team
Moon: me too!
UC: Fine you win. Teen fans are so much better
Moon: Really? Screaming delusional young girls who think men just want romance are better than screaming adults who know they just want sex and are okay with it?
How about we call it a truce.
UC: And run for cover because we just offended EVERYONE in the Twilight fanbase!!!
You only WISH you could hear our trash talking through texting during the game today!
To clarify, Moon & I weren’t frenemies. Just not friends. And we DON’T fight like this. But we DO disagree. And then we figure it out. It’s basically the most healthy relationship I’ve ever had! AWWW Love you Moonie!
And thanks Brooke, for telling Moon & I that our teams are playing each other today. And seriously. Isn’t the LA team called the Angels? I’m so confused…….
PSSST: Our fav RobPorn creater Zephyersky entered a Jasper FanFic contest along with LTT/LTR pal Pange. See Zeph’s page here. Click on “VOTE NOW” at the top right and then search for “Zephyersky” and “Pange” and vote for them! (3 stories total!) You have to have a fanfic account to vote. GOOD LUCK GALS!