Monday Funnies & a Twilight Meme

Dear New Moon,

I’m excited for you to be released for many reasons, including the influx of 2nd-hand embarrassing t-shirts, necklaces & wolf costumes we’ll have at our disposal, not to mention the bet I have with Moon about how many guys we think will moon us anytime we mention the movie in a 1 week period, but mostly because of the blog content that will come as a result of the movie being a smash hit.

For now, on Mondays, we can still laugh at Twilight stuff:

2009-08-13_fangirls

2009-01-07_edward-cullen

Unless you have vampire-ish eyes, click to make bigger

The website where these comics were posted had the following disclaimer:

I’ve never read the books or watched the movie, and — as I’m sure most of my fellow Y-chromosome compatriots would agree — am convinced and afraid that the worldwide “craze” over this Edward character is the first sign of a coming apocalypse.

Thanks to Jacob’s girl Anja for sending us these comics!
After the jump, enjoy something really random:

The girls over at Twitarded tagged us in what they’re calling a Twitarded Meme. I’m a sucker for random quizzes, so I decided to participate. This is somewhat about Twilight, somewhat not! ENJOY

1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you’ve ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?
I’m about to tell you the best story you’ve ever heard. Get ready. Things you need to know: I’m a lightweight. The summer after I graduated my cousin got married in Cancun. The day of the wedding I had Cuban food which upset my belly. That night they were serving the most delicious white wine ever! And I have never done what I’m about to confess before or since:

That night was like Jesus & the bread and fishes. Miraculously, my wine glass was always full. I blame it on my cousin, Sam, but he never confessed to aiding me in my drunkenness. All I know is that in the middle of my killer dance moves for the song “Shout” (which I’m pretty sure the band WAS NOT playing…), I had a major urge to pee. I yelled to everyone where I was going and disappeared. It was 1/2 hour before anyone remembered I had left. This is what happened after I left the dance floor:

As I sat down to pee, I had the sudden urge to throw up. But I was sitting on the toilet. And what’s a girl to do? I know- throw up IN BETWEEN my legs as I’m peeing. Yep. That’s what I did. And then passed out on the side of the bathroom stall. When my family realized I was missing, they found me locked in the stall, passed out. Someone climbed under the stall (where they were greeted with chunks of Cuban food from my lunch around my feet and in my shoes) and unlocked the door. They didn’t know what to do. Cuz I was passed out. Sitting on the toilet. Someone thought I should eat something. So they ran to the kitchen & got me bread. A huge baguette of bread. They cleaned off my feet by splashing them with water from the tealight candle holder and gave me the bread. Which I hugged. That’s right. I hugged the bread. They got my uncle who carried me to the car. Where I, of course, threw up again. When we got to the hotel, they got me a wheelchair and wheeled me to my room. And all the while I continued to hug my bread.

After my brilliant decision of how to throw up while peeing, I have no recollection of this night. I didn’t remember what happened in the morning; I didn’t remember when they told me what happened; I didn’t remember when my sister yelled at me about how irresponsible I was. All I know is that I didn’t touch white wine until a few months ago (4 years later!) and have never been and never WILL be that drunk again. I will also never eat Cuban food again. And will never admit to my best friend that I threw up chunks of shrimp in her shoes & just washed them off with water before I returned them.

2) One my personal favorite games: F*ck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast.
F*ck- Um, duh, I’d do Edward. For eternity. Lucky stupid little whiny biatch. Marry- Hmmm, assuming I can’t also choose Edward, I think Carlisle.. I mean, he is my age…. Kill- Kristen Stewart Hmm….Iriana. That girl almost ruined it ALL! I’m still not over it…

3) What is your favorite band/type of music? This is an impossible question for me to answer, but I’ll do it. I love indie rock & folk rock. And my 2008 favs were Fleet Foxes & Bon Iver. This year I’ve been obsessed with Metric, Laura Marling & Regina Spektor. Of all time: Patty Griffin, Radiohead & Ryan Adams. Look at me! I did it! Also Moon, JAG & I got an email from a reader who called us all music snobs. To which I replied “Thank You” (seriously if you’re not familiar with those artists, go now. Start with Patty Griffin)

4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight? Hmm. I can never answer just one: Phantom of the Opera (yes, I said that), The Waitress, Revolutionary Road (I saw it once and never will again but it makes the list) and of 2009, Whatever Works

5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger?
Most people know I like Twilight. Do they know how much? No. Most people do not know I run a Twilight blog. Those that do are sworn to secrecy. Seriously if my grandmother read the stuff I say about that boy on LTR I’d be grounded. And I’m 26, married, don’t live with her and have never been grounded in my life. (Except once when I got in trouble for kissing that boy in 8th grade which I lied about and said I didn’t actually do, but SURPRISE mom & dad..I kissed him)

6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc.
I don’t want to answer. But I will. Um at least 2 hours to write a day. Plus constant checking of things throughout my 8 hour work day. You do the math. How much is it on my mind? All the time. Not like “Wow, I wonder on a scale of 1-10 how bad Jake’s wig will look in the beginning of New Moon,” but like blogging stuff, “I wonder on a scale of 1-10 how much I’ll miss TammyO today.”

7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn’t matter.
Once I fought with my friend Annie over a boy named Omar. He was Mexican. We were in Mexico and I never saw him again after that fateful summer. She did- that little bitch lucky girl. Thankfully Annie & I have remained close. We just swear to never mention Omar. I just found him on facebook. He has a fat face now. I sent her a picture of him & his wife from their wedding and said, “This could’ve been you.” Just to rub it in that she never got him. We may no longer be friends.

Enjoy your random, funny Monday!
Love,
UnintendedChoice

Oh- we’re supposed to tag FOUR blogs to continue this Twitarded Meme:

Robsessed
Lauren’s Bite (she can choose to do it on a different blog if she’d like)
Not an Addikt
Touched by Twilight

I love quizzes- answer the questions yourself in the comments!
Or on The Forum
and tell Moon I miss her over on LTR (I haven’t talked to her all weekend!)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • Pinky

    I find that I kind of sorta want to hug a loaf of bread now. Sounds comforting.

    1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you’ve ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?

    Vacationing in Greece, sixteen, unchaperoned and nursing a crush on a boy everyone called ‘Zoo’. Got shitfaced (to impress Zoo), smoked something given to me by an Australian (Hello, Zoo!), Danced on a table set on fire (watch me move, Zoo. You know you want it) and made out with a nameless Greek in a Cosby sweater (F*ck you, Zoo!). I was such a dumbass. Never once did it occur to me to just speak to the guy.

    2) One my personal favorite games: F*ck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast:

    F*ck-Um yeah.. Hi Mr. Hansen. No sir, I do not nor have I ever been a resident of Georgia. Yes, sir I am very familiar with the term statutory rape.
    Marry-See previous response.
    Kill-Bella:Whiney Tart.

    3) What is your favorite band/type of music?

    Favorite Band of all time: Radiohead. I like any type of music, but the music that is most featured on my Ipod is Punk/ Alternative.

    4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?

    Roman Holiday. The ending is killer.

    5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight?

    Enough for me to secure my position as family weirdo.

    6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things?

    An embarrassing amount of time.

    7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn’t matter.

    My sister said that my ex-husband looked like Taylor Lautner and it made me want to punch her in the throat. Mainly because it was true and I was mad because I was no longer hittin’ that …

    • Pinky

      OMG…that’s long as hell…Sorry :-(

    • TeamSeth

      whiny tart! priceless.

  • TeamSeth

    Okay, am I allowed to hate this girl? I mean, seriously, that’s normal right? The issue is that I’m a huge Penguins fan. I feel torn. Maybe I bff her, then I can actually meet Billy. Possibly even grab onto his forearm while we’re drunk and laughing at the surly tweets we just posted. Then when OK Magazine photographs us getting into a car together (you know, they’ll conveniently miss that his wife got in first), we can call them out for being douches suggesting that he’s cheating on Pollyanna. Sigh, to live is but to dream…

    Sorry this is totally unrelated to today’s post.

    • Illegalwolflover

      NORMAL!!!!

      • TeamSeth

        thanks :)

    • tuesdaymidnight

      Billy doesn’t look terribly impressed with her. Nevertheless, I kind of hate her, too.

      P.S.- Billy comments are always appreciated!

  • TeamSeth

    Okay, were we supposed to answer this quiz? I’m just going to do the questions I like. ;)

    2) F/M/K: Charlie Brewley (as long as he talks dirty in his sexy accent…hopefully he’s Mancunian. I can’t find his origins listed anywhere, anyone know?) / Billy Burke (So he can take me to the Eclipse and BD and Highland Park premieres and I can wear my little cousin’s label. And so I can kiss him daily) / I’d say KStew, but she has no soul. Yes, Irina, I agree with that. Bitch.

    3) While I dig on Regina Spektor, right now it’s the Editors. I listen to Depeche Mode and Yelle a lot too.

    7) I can touch my nose with my tongue.
    7b) I’m still unemployed, but would love to do an interview with David Slade on his involvement with helping fight to combat human trafficking.

    • TeamSeth

      7c) I really respect David Slade.

      • ambushed by twilight

        i enjoy the post you wrote… have a good night TS, i’ll catch up tomorrow… i’m leaving work in 2 mins. ‘night!

        • TeamSeth

          night! hehe, so proud of myself…i spent so little time on LTT today!

    • Illegalwolflover

      # 7 Me too!!!! yay!!!
      my family used to call me LT from Tour of Duty…
      I took it to mean Long Tongue

      • TeamSeth

        :D we rock.

    • tuesdaymidnight

      “I’d say KStew, but she has no soul.” Love you for this.

      I have a feeling if you look deep into her eyes, she sucks your soul like a dementor.

  • Just me

    Love the vomiting bread hugging – so much good.

    Can I just saw you beside myself with anticipation I am – not about New Moon (although the anticipation is supremely high) – but at the thought of the fun LTT and LTR will have with the imminent appearances of the cast on the Today Show, Kelly & Regis, Ellen etc – it’s almost (not quite) going to be better than the movie.

    I’m going to be direct tv dvr’ing a lot of daytime tv the week of Nov 16th

  • Just me

    Maybe I’ll have a go at this quiz thing too

    1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you’ve ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?

    I’m trying to see what I can share without anyone recognizing me (see Q5 – totally in the TwiCloset)

    2) One my personal favorite games: F*ck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast:

    Cast as in actors, not characters right?
    F*ck – Jackson (assuming this is a one night f*ck)
    Marry – Rob (assuming this is marriage full of f*cking)
    Kill – not sure I hate anyone that strongly. How about smack instead? Not officially a cast member but how about Cathy Cougar for such nonsense as spider monkey and blue makeup?

    3) What is your favorite band/type of music?

    All time fav (like if I could only listen to one band for the rest of my life) U2 (excluding the fiasco called Pop).

    Current favs: Ting Tings & Kings of Leon

    4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?

    Dirty Dancing – classic (I can’t help but notice some similarities in the cheesy lines and forbidden romance theme)

    Other movies I’ll happily watch: Bring it On, The Departed, ET, Titanic. Husband always says I have sh*t taste in films and may be correct

    5) Do your RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight?

    Nope

    6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things?

    Reading LTT/LTR first thing: 15 minutes
    Checking back at LTT/LTR for comments at midday: 15 minutes
    Checking back at LTT/LTR for comments at end of day: 15 minutes

    Recently got into fan fic – I know – am too ashamed to admit my reading time

    7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn’t matter.

    Why the hell not, in fact I think I’ll share three:
    a) I can’t get enough of Stacey’s Naked Pita Chips
    b) I think my husband may want to divorce me
    c) I just bought a cute pair of sequin shoes

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      hugs

    • TeamSeth

      7b) really? :(

    • TeamSeth

      ps-tings tings = <3

    • tuesdaymidnight

      I may or may not be the only person alive who actually love “Pop.” Promise you won’t hold it against me?

      P.S.- So sorry about 7b. :(

      • Just me

        Love this place.
        Sequin shoes – totally true – they’re kind of Dorothy/Wizard of Oz style with a three inch heel except they’re green
        7b – I hope not but it’s not looking good. Love the anonymity of the web. I haven’t told anyone and I am feeling remarkably better for writing it down.
        Thank you guys

  • 3hboyshouse

    Ok, I have to do this quiz, it is just too much fun reading everyone else’s answers, so here goes…

    1. Craziest thing/Stupidest Thing: I let my bf, now hubbster cut my hair while we were drunk. Hey, I needed my bangs trimmed, and it sounded like a good idea at the time.

    2) One my personal favorite games: F*ck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast
    F- Gotta go with Jasper and Edward together(threesome baby!! This is my alter ego talking, of course!)
    M- Mike Newton, of course! He would make a great hubby that you can boss around .
    K- Rene’, I mean who cares about her anyway.

    3) Music/Band? This is really hard to narrow down because it changes almost daily, but I am really into Teagan and Sara right now. I have to listen to a lot of kid friendly music too, so anyone that has kiddos, check out Mr. David (Lunch time, Jump in the Jumpy House, etc), he is at least bearable for kids music.

    4) Movie? How can I pick just one? A Good Year, Harry Potter and the Socerer’s Stone, Legends of the Fall, Hairspray (with Ricki Lake, not the new crap they tried to remake), Grease, Lord of the Rings (All 3), and many others, but we don’t have enough room.

    5) RL friends know? Um, no and I keep trying to tell them, but they just ignore me or don’t care. I keep trying to recruit friends, but no one wants to join. I envy you girls that can go to Bobby Long concerts with RL friends and they know the real reason you even know who Bobby Long is!!

    6) How many hours? Countless! More than I should! Enough hours that my family must eat cereal for dinner sometimes!

    7) Random Fact: I have 4 children, but I am not a Mormon. (I get asked this alot) Birth control just doesn’t work on me!

    • Illegalwolflover

      “Um, no and I keep trying to tell them, but they just ignore me or don’t care. I keep trying to recruit friends, but no one wants to join”

      I sympathise…..ive got the same problem…..its like im a Twi-leper or something……

      • Pinky

        Love “Twi-leper” :-)

  • Illegalwolflover

    lets give it a shot shall we?

    1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you’ve ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?
    got drunk and slept on the bathroom floor….insisted to fiance that floor was keeping me cool and therefore will not be coming to bed….reminded me of Edward’s porcelain skin maybe?….

    2) : F*ck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast.
    F*ck Edward
    Marry (and then f*ck) Jacob
    Kill Rosalie (shudder)

    3) What is your favorite band/type of music?

    Oh Lordy lordy…I’m into quirky, folk, guitars and mumbling….im a bit of a music whore…ill listen to anything that isnt Bjork, death metal and rave…

    4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?
    The life of David Gale…lots of cartoons, Will Ferell movies, Transformers, TMNT, coming to think of it im a movie whore too….

    5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight?
    just fiance, cat and BF

    6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things?
    does that include thinking about it? pretty much aaaalll day….”there’s always something there to remind me”

    7) Any random fact you might want to share.
    I have huge feet….and therefore hate shopping for shoes….even though i love shoes….

    i love patty griffin and kings of leon and celine dion…celine dion karaoke rules!!!!

    • AmyAlmost

      I’m a total movie whore too.

      • 3hboyshouse

        I am just a whore! :)

        • Illegalwolflover

          LOL me too!….for the right kind of people…(read- Twilight men)
          ;)

    • TeamSeth

      isn’t shoe shopping easier w/ big feet? your sizes will still be around when they go on 60% sale! you and size 5. bastards.

      • Illegalwolflover

        yeah but buying the tapered styles means that i look like i stepped out of a very small car with 15 other people…. :)

        i have foot cleavage…ew…

        i swear my feet enter the room half an hour before i do….lol

        • TeamSeth

          Well, hopefully your feet have good taste so you know whether to bother doing your make-up or not before the rest of you arrives.

        • fangbanger06

          @illegalwolflover What size shoes do you wear? I wear an effing 12 but if I want to be in pain all day, I can squeeze into an 11. :( Sucks.

          • Illegalwolflover

            me too!!! but since my feet are so screwed up i wear everything from size 8 to size 12…i think thats from 9 to 14 US size….im such a wierdo… :(

  • AmyAlmost

    1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing:
    Keeping it short – involved police, just being married, a lake in Northern Michigan at night and no clothes.

    2) F*ck, Marry, Kill. F: Carlisle M: Isle Esme K: Fish fry

    3) What is your favourite band/type of music?
    At the moment loving: Sarah Blasko, Love of Diagrams, Foals, Crystal Castles, Bertie Blackman, Grizzly Bear, Animal Collective…list goes on.

    4) What is your favourite movie besides Twilight?
    For 2009: Away We Go. All time: The City of Lost Children(La cité des enfants perdus)

    5) Do your RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight?
    I have troubles hiding truth.

    6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things?
    Not that many, maybe 2… I have a short attention span.

    7) Any random fact you might want to share.
    I’m a product of the Empire. My mother was born in India. My dad in England but grew up in Germany post war. They immigrated to Australia and I married an American. We have access to the whole world. And we live here on the Island Continent.

  • TeamSeth

    Okay, someone posted something about purchasing sequin shoes and it reminded me of when I went out this Saturday to the Michael vs. Prince DJ spin off event (happens once a month in San Fran and once every 3 months in PDX and Seattle).
    To the point, at least 10 girls had sequin dresses on. Like the thick straps (2.5-3.5 inches) and down to just 3-7 inches above the knee (depending on the girl’s comfort level with sluttiness, and on if she was wearing tights or not). The sequins were larger, like a nickel to quarter sized in diameter (5c to 50c in euros sizes; 1pence to a pound in England…excluding the 50p and 2p coins; sorry Aussies and NZers, I don’t have any of your monies.)
    Is this in fashion now? I’m not a fan.

    • Illegalwolflover

      maybe they though it was a go-go dancer convention? lol….im not a head to toe sequin girl either…but ive seen ppl wear it in NZ…

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