Dear New Moon,
I’m excited for you to be released for many reasons, including the influx of 2nd-hand embarrassing t-shirts, necklaces & wolf costumes we’ll have at our disposal, not to mention the bet I have with Moon about how many guys we think will moon us anytime we mention the movie in a 1 week period, but mostly because of the blog content that will come as a result of the movie being a smash hit.
For now, on Mondays, we can still laugh at Twilight stuff:
The website where these comics were posted had the following disclaimer:
I’ve never read the books or watched the movie, and — as I’m sure most of my fellow Y-chromosome compatriots would agree — am convinced and afraid that the worldwide “craze” over this Edward character is the first sign of a coming apocalypse.
Thanks to Jacob’s girl Anja for sending us these comics!
After the jump, enjoy something really random:
1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you’ve ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?
I’m about to tell you the best story you’ve ever heard. Get ready. Things you need to know: I’m a lightweight. The summer after I graduated my cousin got married in Cancun. The day of the wedding I had Cuban food which upset my belly. That night they were serving the most delicious white wine ever! And I have never done what I’m about to confess before or since:
That night was like Jesus & the bread and fishes. Miraculously, my wine glass was always full. I blame it on my cousin, Sam, but he never confessed to aiding me in my drunkenness. All I know is that in the middle of my killer dance moves for the song “Shout” (which I’m pretty sure the band WAS NOT playing…), I had a major urge to pee. I yelled to everyone where I was going and disappeared. It was 1/2 hour before anyone remembered I had left. This is what happened after I left the dance floor:
As I sat down to pee, I had the sudden urge to throw up. But I was sitting on the toilet. And what’s a girl to do? I know- throw up IN BETWEEN my legs as I’m peeing. Yep. That’s what I did. And then passed out on the side of the bathroom stall. When my family realized I was missing, they found me locked in the stall, passed out. Someone climbed under the stall (where they were greeted with chunks of Cuban food from my lunch around my feet and in my shoes) and unlocked the door. They didn’t know what to do. Cuz I was passed out. Sitting on the toilet. Someone thought I should eat something. So they ran to the kitchen & got me bread. A huge baguette of bread. They cleaned off my feet by splashing them with water from the tealight candle holder and gave me the bread. Which I hugged. That’s right. I hugged the bread. They got my uncle who carried me to the car. Where I, of course, threw up again. When we got to the hotel, they got me a wheelchair and wheeled me to my room. And all the while I continued to hug my bread.
After my brilliant decision of how to throw up while peeing, I have no recollection of this night. I didn’t remember what happened in the morning; I didn’t remember when they told me what happened; I didn’t remember when my sister yelled at me about how irresponsible I was. All I know is that I didn’t touch white wine until a few months ago (4 years later!) and have never been and never WILL be that drunk again. I will also never eat Cuban food again. And will never admit to my best friend that I threw up chunks of shrimp in her shoes & just washed them off with water before I returned them.
2) One my personal favorite games: F*ck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast.
F*ck- Um, duh, I’d do Edward. For eternity. Lucky stupid little whiny biatch. Marry- Hmmm, assuming I can’t also choose Edward, I think Carlisle.. I mean, he is my age…. Kill- Kristen Stewart Hmm….Iriana. That girl almost ruined it ALL! I’m still not over it…
3) What is your favorite band/type of music? This is an impossible question for me to answer, but I’ll do it. I love indie rock & folk rock. And my 2008 favs were Fleet Foxes & Bon Iver. This year I’ve been obsessed with Metric, Laura Marling & Regina Spektor. Of all time: Patty Griffin, Radiohead & Ryan Adams. Look at me! I did it! Also Moon, JAG & I got an email from a reader who called us all music snobs. To which I replied “Thank You” (seriously if you’re not familiar with those artists, go now. Start with Patty Griffin)
4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight? Hmm. I can never answer just one: Phantom of the Opera (yes, I said that), The Waitress, Revolutionary Road (I saw it once and never will again but it makes the list) and of 2009, Whatever Works
5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger?
Most people know I like Twilight. Do they know how much? No. Most people do not know I run a Twilight blog. Those that do are sworn to secrecy. Seriously if my grandmother read the stuff I say about that boy on LTR I’d be grounded. And I’m 26, married, don’t live with her and have never been grounded in my life. (Except once when I got in trouble for kissing that boy in 8th grade which I lied about and said I didn’t actually do, but SURPRISE mom & dad..I kissed him)
6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc.
I don’t want to answer. But I will. Um at least 2 hours to write a day. Plus constant checking of things throughout my 8 hour work day. You do the math. How much is it on my mind? All the time. Not like “Wow, I wonder on a scale of 1-10 how bad Jake’s wig will look in the beginning of New Moon,” but like blogging stuff, “I wonder on a scale of 1-10 how much I’ll miss TammyO today.”
7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn’t matter.
Once I fought with my friend Annie over a boy named Omar. He was Mexican. We were in Mexico and I never saw him again after that fateful summer. She did- that little bitch lucky girl. Thankfully Annie & I have remained close. We just swear to never mention Omar. I just found him on facebook. He has a fat face now. I sent her a picture of him & his wife from their wedding and said, “This could’ve been you.” Just to rub it in that she never got him. We may no longer be friends.
Enjoy your random, funny Monday!
Oh- we’re supposed to tag FOUR blogs to continue this Twitarded Meme: