Is Twilight a Chick Flick?
Posted by on November 7th, 2009
Dearr LTT-ers, Frequently we open the mail bag to bring you letters from our readers. Today’s letter is from K who argues that Twilight is a chick flick and should NOT be watched by watched or the books read by guys. Read her letter and tell us what you think. XO-Moon
For ladies only?
Dear UC and Moon,
Due to a recent development in my love life (thank goodness, right? I was getting a little bored with a lack of one) I think I’ve come to a realization, and that is this: I don’t want to date a unicorn. 😮 *gasp!* I know, right?!
We adore our beloved unicorns. We encourage them. We create them (to the best of our abilities). So why on earth wouldn’t I want my new interest to become one?
Lets face it: Twilight is a chick flick. Movie and books both. There’s absolutely no arguing against that. I don’t care how many wired stunts, mirror crashing action, and buttcrack santa jokes you throw in there; it’s still one of the biggest chick flicks ever. I’ve heard so many people try and argue this point and fight against, but truth is truth. So without further adieu, I give you my stance.
You know it’s a chick flick when:
- the fan base is undeniably, predominantly female and has a “tween” rep
- you here shrieks of glee when the title flashes across the screen
- the lead male is frequently referred to as “beautiful” on and off screen
- it inspires products like lip gloss and shimmer powder
- the lead female is fully clothed for over 95% of the movie.
- there’s a prom scene and no one dies (so close bella)
- the subjects discussed between characters include dresses, boobs, characters’ relationship status’, and the swim team’s peens.
- the dialogue includes words and terms like “irrevocably”, “matriculate”, “masochistic”, “Debussy”, and “spidermonkey”.
- there’s more silent, awkward turtle, moments then there is action
- the only weapons are mind powers which do not translate visually.
- fans constantly fight over who’s the dreamiest
- it takes place in a forest setting and there’s no sign of elves, dwarves, or an extra-terrestrial fought by a commando who states “If it bleeds, you can kill it.”
And lets face it, as far as chick flicks go, this one is unconditionally and irrevocably one of the chick-iest of them all. Which brings me back to why I would never date a unicorn. Girls always talk about how they want a sensitive guy, who’s not afraid to show his emotions, or cry. Fine, good, be sweet and adorable and cry when your puppy gets hit by a car, but for the love of all that is good and right in this world, do not run out of the room in horror when a spider is spotted and do NOT like Twilight.
Dear all future boyfriends….
Follow the cut to see what boyfriends should NOT do!
Do NOT, of your own free will:
- offer to watch, read, or talk about Twilight and mean it
- buy tickets ahead of time to see the new movie
- steal my Twilight books to read
- discuss Twilight in any other manner than brazen mockery
- let curiosity get the best of you
- EVER consider what you would look like with a Twilight murse.
- let me “girl-out” with my girls every once in a while and utilize that time to do something manly like watch football, build something, or hunt wild boar.
I promise to never ask, chide, or coerce you to share twilight with me in any capacity so long as you kill my spiders, change my flat tire (must remove shirt), and pretend not to notice how much time I spend watching the same vampire movie over and over, looking at pictures of the same guy with the sexy arms and “do-me” dimpled grin, and reading/responding to a blog about said vampire story. Deal?
~KSo ladies (and our Unicorns) what do you think? Do you agree? And what do you think about the “don’ts” for future boyfriends? I’m not sure I agree with that as I’d love for my boytoy to understand what I do all day but I defs agree with the Twilight murse. Men, never wear a Twilight murse! We beg of you!
Let us know what you think!
Leave a comment here than chat it up in The Forum
UC makes us laugh at Rob over at LTR
November’s a crazy month TV wise, Jena has put together a handy dandy viewing guide over the at forum! Set your DVR’s now!
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