Yesterday morning we were told a super big secret that 13 people were already in line for the New Moon premiere. Then the news leaked on Twitter and suddenly it wasn’t a secret anymore. Did you just panic because you have plans tonight and didn’t set aside time to glue your eyes to your laptop while you watch a live stream of the red carpet? Don’t worry you still have a few days. Yes, that’s right, because the premiere isn’t tonight, but it’s Monday night. Yep. Those who got in line yesterday are there 4 days in advance. Those who will get in line today will be there 3 days early. Tomorrow… 2 days. Sunday 1 day… etc.
It turns out that the first group of people are line are the gals from Twifans.com and Cullenboysanonymous.com. Okay, they both run Twilight fansites, I get why they want to be up close and personal on the red carpet. They want to get first-hand accounts and interviews and videos for their readers. That’s really nice. I can hear your questions now, “UC- aren’t you changing your flight and flying out tonight instead of waiting until Sunday so that you and Moon can get in line and be sure to get us an exclusive interview with Solomon Trimble (who I bet is the 3rd person in line behind Twifans & CBA) and catch the action when Cathy Hardi tries to sneak past security and onto the red carpet?” Uh, no. We’re not going to be doing that. We love you and all, and while a one-on-one with Solomon would be great and we could potential make our dream come true if we see HIM on the red carpet (our dream being a UC & Moon sandwich with Big Daddy Lautner in the middle), we value sleep in a comfy bed and protection from crazy Twihards & tweens more than spending 4 days in the hot sun then cold nights on a deflating air mattress while suffering from the Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) that we’d get because we’d have to hold our pee for four days all the while one person stays awake to protect us from the non-rob hobos that roam the streets of Westwood, CA.
So while we’re not going to be there many people are. I’d venture to say that by tonight, there will be a good 100-200 people in line. 45 of them will be Solomon Trimble’s closest friends and family, but they still count. And since the 4 day waiters (Hey Kim & Allison!) probably got bored 5 minutes after their tent was set up and their coffee was gone (regretting that Venti cafe latte now, huh?), I’ve compiled a list entitled “Things to do while we wait for a opportunity to see Kristen Stewart’s bare breasts in a new sexy dress and cross our fingers that Rob may or may not look our way for 2.5 milliseconds 4 days from now on the New Moon premiere red carpet” to help ease the boredom a bit:
- Play the FanFiction game: Someone reads out loud from a famous fic like The Office or Wide Awake and you take turns acting out scenes with cardboard Edward. Since there is a New Moon Cardboard Ed & a Twi version, it’ll be like he changed clothes (unlike you who is stuck in the same thing for four days).
- Transcribe New Moon by hand into a leather-bound notebook as a gift to Rob since it’s his favorite book. Get Solomon to sign it.
- Knit something for Rob in hopes that it will be better than anything Kristen has knit for him
- Comb the dictionary for every word you believe could be used to describe Rob
- Paint your nails so that each finger has a detailed picture of a cast member- Edward-Bella-Jacob-Alice-Charlie-The Wolves- The Cullens-the Humans-The Volturi- The bad Vamps- 10!
- Reorganize your entire Itunes library into Rob or New Moon appropriate categories. “Songs that make me think of Rob.” “Songs that make me hate Kristen.” “Songs that make me wish Solomon Trimble was in the 2nd movie” OR “Songs that make me wish Solmon Trimble would move ahead of me in line and hit on the girl over there.” You could also change all the genres around. Examples: Instead of “Rock” it could be “Songs I wanna eff Rob to.” Instead of “Indie ballads” it could be “Songs I played the day I finally believed that Rob was actually dating Kristen.” Instead of “Garage band music” it could be “Bands that are horrible but still better than 100 monkeys”
After the jump, check out what people on Twitter said THEY would add to the list!
@Laxplays play eye spy with my little eye something beginning with D (dumpster), something with T (thrift stores)
@myRobPattinson I’d write “bite me” on the foreheads of every sleeping person, in permanent red sharpie
@_dharv start taking bets on whose BO would be the worst come premiere day: mine, some other loser in line, or Rob’s.
@MsYuppieScum Gather everyone around the dumpster to sing “We are the Rob” for YouTube purposes.
@twetiffany ask someone to bring me a mirror so I could get a good look at the loser I had become.
@Laxplays play a counting game on the number of *real fans* that r in line with us totally normal LTR/LTT gals
@myRobPattinson 1. TwitPic every chick in line for yall to make funny captions & post on LTR. 2. Replicate the Pattinson Pants.
@IllegalWL yell “OH EM GEE is that Rob?” whenever any1 in plaid walks by & I mean anyone….see hw much collateral damage points i get
@anonymous I would make fun of Twilight Moms and count the number of Twilight fanny packs I see
@antisocialangel I wouldn’t wait. I would bribe Big Daddy Lautner to hold my spot with some McDonalds Monopoly playing pieces
@Janetrigs If I were waiting I would drink non-stop until my liver pickled
So there you have it 30+ people in line at the time I am writing this (Thursday night). Now you won’t get bored! And hey… if you accomplish everything on this list and are STILL looking for something to do, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT do Solomon Trimble. I know he might seem charming on day three at 4 am when you can barely see straight from the exhaustion of no sleep (every time you try someone yells “OH EM GEE, is that ROB?”) the pain of your full bladder and imminent UTI and the overwhelming scent of the girl next to you, but the Cullens aren’t the only ones who “don’t come here” when Solomon is around, ifyouknowwhatimean
A couple points of discussion today: If you could be in LA right now, would you wait 3 or 4 days in line for the premiere? Have you ever done something like this before? What did YOU do to pass the time? If you have not waited & would not wait for any of the Twilight premieres, is there anything you WOULD wait in line for days for? There’s one thing and one thing only I’d wait for. And that’s sex with Rob. And even then I’m pretty sure I’d get out of line the first sign I have to pee. I refuse to get a UTI. Did you click on the link above? One of the symptoms is “Painful sexual intercourse.” That’s not Normal.
Also @Calliopeblabs is our hero seriously. Thanks girl. For sharing pizza w/ me yesterday AND for helping with this post XO