Dear LTTers who need a refresher,
Tonight after I rocked the mic with Bon Jovi at our first ever LTT karaoke party in Los Angeles, some of the gals decided to do a little “Twivia” aka: Twilight Trivia. The loser had to down a really gross shot. I knew NONE of the answers. I was ashamed. And also kinda tipsy, so I blamed it on the Goose. But it got me thinking that maybe it was time for a refresher. New Moon is coming out in less than 48 hours (YAY!) and SOME of us are re-reading it, but maybe it would be good to go over some of the most common questions that people have about the Twilight Saga- specifically about Breaking Dawn and all the love-making in front of a fire on a bear skin rug that apparently goes on.
I consulted my favorite source for quality questions and answers, Wikianswers and just know that the following information will be of great value for your life.
(Note: These are actual questions I found followed by actual answers by WikiAnswers users. MY response is in purple below the real answer)
Q Why might breaking dawn not come out?
A: Well on YouTube, it shows trailers of Breaking Dawn. Even pictures of the Reneesme'(s) playing Reneesme; so I’m pretty sure they are making Breaking Dawn in to a movie. I’ve seen the trailer’s for Breaking Dawn, and they totally relate to the book. The actors work on all the movies together, to get it done faster and to make more money, So they could be making Breaking Dawn right now.
On you tube there’s also a video of me with an Edward Cullen life-sized cut out holding hands and kissing in my bed. And that’s true- I am Edward Cullen’s real-life girlfriend, so I guess everything on you tube is rightt. So yes, Breaking Dawn must be coming out soon.
Q In Breaking Dawn do they describe the sex scene?
A: The sex scene in Breaking Dawn is described to some extent, however, Stephenie Meyer doesn’t go into very explicit details. She describes the before and the after scenes, and it does say that they had sex.But you know if bella skipped a period, that means she had sex and she’s pregnant.
Oh S*it. Is that what it means? I hear that sometimes though when you throw up to stay skinny you can skip a period. Maybe that’s why I haven’t gotten mine the past few months. What about this growing bump around my tummy though? Does Stephenie explain what that is? And I also hear that if you ride horses a lot when you’re younger you can lose your virginity. Is this true?
Q What is the name of Carlisle Cullen’s father?
A: Never told – But rumored to be Ptolemy, Which mean’s to Hunt, war, war like, and aggressive.
Wow- Twi-dork of the day award. Also, I agree. Ptolemy was a really popular name in London in the 1640s. Wasn’t it King Edward IV, then King George, King Charles then King Ptolemy?
Read more after the jump!
Q During the honeymoon of Edward and Bella in Breaking Dawn did they really had a wild and steamy sex resulting to Bella bruised all over her body and Edward wrecking the headboard?
A: Yes, it wuz gross
No that was Robsten, not Edward & Bella.
Q Do Edward and Bella make love?
A: Yes. In the final book Breaking Dawn, Bella Cullen and Edward Cullen are on there honeymoon when they ‘make love’. Bella wakes up feeling very happy but See’s that Edward does not feel that same as he looks very unhappy as he explains what he has done to Bella she See’s that she is covered in feathers but Edward makes her look harder and she discoverers that she is covered in bruises from Edwards strength but Bella does not care.
Edward does not want to make love to Bella anymore until she is a vampire but he ends up giving in.
After a few more times ‘making love’ there is an unexpected surprise that could destroy there lives when they have just begun.
I couldn’t have answered that better myself. And I know for a fact that Chris Weitz said he’ll only take the job of directing Breaking Dawn if Summit & he can agree on the perfect tagline for the movie. And I think later today I’m going to pitch this idea to them both: Here we have it, Ladies and Gentlemen- the tag line for Breaking Dawn: “After a few more times of “making love,” there is an unexpected surprise that could destroy both of their lives after they’ve just begun..” Dun Dun DUNNN
Q What do you get when a vampire and werewolf have a child?
A: A mutated wolf baby that likes their meat rare.
First off, it would NEVER happen. The vampire wouldn’t be able to stand the smell of the wolf, even if he could hold his breath during the entire process. The smell would permeate through his senses and he wouldn’t be able to attain an erection. And that’s a pretty important part of baby-making. Plus bestiality is illegal, even in fantasy world, so even if, let’s say some miracle happened and the vampire’s nose was clogged and he couldn’t smell the wolf, if they got caught by the cops, I think they’d be looking at at least 10-15 months in prison and that’s a long time and the wolf would probably forget all his human qualities and remain a beast forever and the vampire would waste away in a jail cell because you know that the kitchen wouldn’t comply with his request for a live deer to maul in the mess hall so he’d probably have to survive on the rarest, fattest pieces of baloney and spam and I’m not sure he’d last that long. Plus I just assumed both the wolf AND the vampire were male and I think that homosexual bestiality is even more illegal than regular bestiality, not to mention the wolf is probably a Native American and you know how America’s judicial system is usually harder on minorities, so that 10-15 months could easily be upped to 2-3 years. So, I’d say that IF it were possible, which I clearly proved it’s not, the ‘wolfpire” would be cold blooded but warm to the touch, she would crave really rare meat and be so hairy that she would start to wax at age 7. Plus she’d get made fun of at least 4 times a day for having two dads, but she’s fine with it because she loves them equally- Dad #1 is really rich and can buy her front row Miley Cyrus tickets and Dad #2 is really warm and cuddly to snuggle with. Now that that’s cleared up, who wants to hear me explain how it IS possible for possums and lizards to procreate?
Next tine you’re at an LTT/LTR karaoke event that ends with a rousing 7 minute version of “We are the Rob,” you’ll be sure to blow everyone away with your Twilight saga knowledge.