Recently a girl I sorta know found out about the blogs and asked me “so you’re like the number one Twilight fan, huh?!” and I wholeheartedly and vehemently said NO! No I am NOT the number one Twilight fan cause in my mind number one fan is some crazy lunatic with Twilight tattoos, owns the entire line of tshirts from Hot Topic, sleeps on the sidewalk for days on end… number one fan brings to mind visions of that show, FANatic on MTV and how some crazy person deemed an artist’s number one fan went apeshit when they met SugarRay or Britney Spears and that’s about the farthest thing from what I’d do if I ever REALLY met any of these people in real life. In reality I’d pretty much look the other way while hoping they didn’t think I was staring at them. Far from having a fangirl freak out or even acknowledging that I know who they are and NEVER ever in a million years mentioning that I write a blog about them or the books every day.
But just because I’m not those things that make me think #1 fan does that make me any less of one? Maybe I really am a number 1 fan. I run this blog, I’ve been to more than my fair share of Twilight related events, heck I have business cards in my handbag with this blog’s URL on it… somehow in my mind this does not equate number one fan but to the outside world, aka the rest of the population, who only know Twilight as that thing “the kids are into” I probably look like the biggest fan that ever lived.
I shudder to think!
So what does it all mean? Follow the cut to see what I come up with…
After I tried to reassure myself the girl that I was in fact NOT the number one Twilight fan I started thinking about why it bugged me so much that she thought that. Does it really matter in the end what other people think of me? Does it matter that people know I’m a Twilight fan or even that I write a blog about it? It’s been a slow year long process of “coming out” as a fan and far more people in my “real life” know about my “secret blog” now that I would have been comfortable with knowing a year ago or even 6 months ago but I’m mostly alright with that now. Sure, I definitely don’t want to be called Twilight’s number one fan but do I like the books, DUH?! Do I love Stephenie Meyer and dream of “running into” her at the grocery store when I’m home in Phoenix over the holidays? Um, DUh! Do I think the Twilight film is Oscar winning material? NO! But do I love it just the same? Yup and there’s no denying that.
Just don’t go calling me a FANatic!
So let’s discuss… what do you say when people ask if you’re a Twilight fan? Would you consider yourself the number one fan? Would that bug you, like it did me?
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