Someone's breaking up with you, Twilight

*So last night I may or may not have seen New Moon AGAIN (I won’t even keep track of what number this was at this point) with a couple of virgins and it was splendid and reminded me of all the craptastic and fun and awful things about Twilight the movie which Luladee sums up perfectly in her letter… so I’ll let her take the reigns!*

I'm leaving you for another movie...

Dear John Twilight the movie,

This has been a long time in coming. I wasn’t sure that I would ever have the strength to be able to say this, but recently things have changed and I know now what I have to do.

I’m breaking up with you.

It was never going to work. Oh, there was potential. I did love your book after all. When I found out you were coming to town, I couldn’t wait to meet you! I just knew that we would click and fall madly in love. I know you felt it too. But there’s something I never told you…

I never loved you. In fact, I didn’t even really like you very much. I tried to, I really did. I thought our first date was a fluke… Maybe it was me. Perhaps I shouldn’t have had that fifth second drink (I was really nervous). Maybe I had unfair expectations thinking we were meant for each other and all. So I went out with you again, sure that this date would go much better….it was just as bad as the first. I was crushed, but in denial. I mean, my friends seemed to think you were great. They kept talking about you and found ways to overlook your idiosyncrasies. I thought I could grow to love you, but after our third date, which I was late for (you didn’t even notice), I knew that I would never and COULD never love you. But I sort of faked it for awhile anyway. I thought for sure you knew, but then you aren’t very good at spotting bad acting.

Follow the cut to read the rest of Luludee’s Dear John letter to Twilight the movie

Lives on and on on DVD forever and ever

I have a confession: you remember those other guys that we met on our fourth date? Well, they totally made fun of you behind your back the entire night. And I laughed. A lot. It may have been the most fun I had with you during our relationship. I plan on meeting up with them again at some point to watch another movie.

Here’s the bottom line: I’ve met someone New Moon and it’s everything I thought you would be and more. I am in love! After only one date, I realize that it’s not me, it’s you. Furthermore, I’ve come to see the emotional and mental abuse I’ve suffered at your hands: the twitching and stuttering, the spider-monkey line, denying me my meadow scene. You tricked me!! I thought K-Stew couldn’t act! I thought maybe your book wasn’t as good as I remembered! How could you be so cruel?!

No, no. I’m sorry. I told myself that I wasn’t going to be angry and hurt anymore. Forgiveness is the key to healing. Hating you will only cause me to become bitter and I don’t want that. We did have some good laughs, and the whole night before I met you that first time a little over a year ago, was an absolute blast. It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been waiting to meet you. Thank you for that.

I want to wish you good luck. They say there is someone out there for everyone and I doubt hope that’s true for you too, but you’re just not good enough for me.

We’ll always have Jasper and his bat.

Never Yours Truly,

Luludee

Amazing Luludee! Give her some love in the comments and tell us if you feel the same way. Is it weird watching Twilight now that you’re seen New Moon? Do you have a favorite? Does ol Cathy’s movie still ring your bell?

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  • robsten4life

    Wonderfu letter Luludee!! you are spot on with breaking up with Twilight!!

    I watched Twilight (with three virgins) a week after I saw New Moon… I’m not sure if it was watching it with the virgins or seeing it after NM but I found myself laughing throughout the movie.

    However, my bf who saw NM first and then watched Twilight said that Twilight was a much better movie and that he thought it had a better story arc/more excitment than NM. He also said that he liked the coloring better in Twilight……. I didn’t talk to him for quite a few days after that and seriously considered breaking up with him. I mean how can I be with someone who things that!!

    • MariaCecilia

      Could I have your friend’s phone number? :-) Because, sad to say, I find myself agreeing with him on most points. I WANTED to like New Moon much more than I could bring myself to do, and going back to Twilight, I find that in spite of Buttcrack Santas, spider monkeys, stuttering et al, it is still so much better at conveying the mood of the first book, teenage angst and all. (Plus I very much doubt I would have fallen in love with Dadward if New Moon had been the first movie I watched..:-( )
      No hard feelings, though – there’s no accounting for taste..

      • toooldforthis

        I wholeheartedly agree with you MariaCecilia! I assumed going into NM that I wouldn’t like it as much as TW because NM was my least favorite book.

        I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised, but I wasn’t. It doesn’t matter how big the budget is, if the “feeling” isn’t there, I just can’t like it.

        No matter what Cougar Cathy and Melissa Rosenburg left out of the TW script (or needlessly added in), in the end I still felt the romance and the essence of Bella and Edward’s relationship. I didn’t feel it in NM.

      • The Old One

        I agree with you, MariaCecilia. As Rob et al. kept repeating in the NM promotional tour, Twilight was more “indie” and “edgy”, and I think that’s what I liked about it, even though there were many flaws. I thought his portrayal of Edward was great, the clothes were better, although the white makeup was wierd and inconsistent. All those funny little dialogue bits that we like to make fun of were missing from New Moon. New Moon was trying too hard to be a mainstream blockbuster, and I fear for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. I will always have a soft spot for Twilight, the innocence of the cast, and the freedom Cathy had to create something that wasn’t trite.

        • absolutelyvlc

          T.O.O.=T.W.O.

          • The Old One

            I’m blushing like Bella, again.

        • toooldforthis

          You said it perfectly! I think the Twilight series is more suited for “indie” type films. There is an intimate quality about the series that comes across better in a smaller film.
          That’s why, for me, NM didn’t feel right. I don’t think the Twilight series is really big blockbuster/action movie material. At it’s heart, it’s a love story and the movie needs to focus on character interaction and dialogue and less on beefing up the fights and the action sequences.

          • The Old One

            Yes! That’s it exactly!

          • Luludee

            I have to say that I don’t really understand what people mean when they say it’s suited better to an “Indie” feel. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but it seems like an excuse to explain away the crappiness of the first film, and I think that gives “Indie” films as a genre a bad wrap.
            I thought New Moon had fairly good character interaction and vastly superior dialogue to Twilight. I don’t and really never did see any of the supposed “gems” of the first film. I’m glad other people like it, but I don’t understand that at all.

          • toooldforthis

            @Luludee – I absolutely think “Twilight” fits the definition of an independant film. It’s not an excuse to wipe away the “crappiness” of the film, as you put it. I don’t think the film was all that crappy. Despite having a few missteps, overall it was a great introduction to the franchise. I had never heard of Twilight before I saw the movie. If New Moon been my introduction to the franchise, I probably would not have picked up any of the books.

            Catherine Hardwicke captured the essence of the books; which is to say she captured the feelings between Edward and Bella. I didn’t “feel” anything in New Moon. I walked out of the theater feeling empty and sad because this film evoked no feelings whatsoever from me.

            Twilight was filmed on a small budget because they truly did not think it would be the box office smash that it was. The studio executives thought it would be an average teen flick, at best. If it weren’t for Twilight, most of us (including me) would not have even heard of the Twilight series. And you can thank Twilight for New Moon having the big budget that it did. I just think that Twilight deserves a little bit more respect than it gets. It wasn’t that bad.

          • Luludee

            @toooldforthis, I can definitely respect the fact that the movie was the introduction to the series for a lot of people. Honestly, I forget about that a lot because I read the books first. And you’re right, NM wouldn’t have gotten the budget it did if it hadn’t been for Twilight. So I can respect it for those reasons.

            Perhaps I am hating on it more than I should. I wrote this letter the weekend after New Moon opened, so I was still “riding the high.” As I read through all the comments yesterday, I was reminded of aspects of Twilight that I did like. Some of them were things I hadn’t really noticed/thought about because I was so disappointed overall. We will remain broken up, but I think I can appreciate it a little bit more now, thanks to people like yourself who still love it. So thanks! ;)

          • toooldforthis

            @Luludee – To be honest, I was surprised myself at the amount of support Twilight got today. I assumed most people felt the way that you did. After NM came out, pretty much nothing positive was said about TW and I really felt like I was in the minority of people who still actually liked TW.

            Thank you for your letter! It was nice to see all of the comments supporting both NM and TW. But I think it was really good to go back and remember why we liked TW in the first place (despite all of the second-hand embarassing scenes!) I think your letter really opened up a good discussion among the fanbase and allowed us to see why we can appreciate both movies!

            Good job :)

      • whyamidoingthis

        Yes!!
        I’m with you ladies. Despite the plethora of cringe-worthy moments, I love Twilight more than NM. CH created a very raw and romantic mood, the kisses were hotter, Robward was hotter (i.e. Not middle-aged), and Carter Burwell’s score was incredibly moving in a minimalist way, unlike that over-the-top typical Hollywood score in NM. I think I just liked the Indie feel of Twilight. I could overlook all the ridiculous parts just to dwell on certain scenes over and over again.

        But I do think that CW did a good job with the crappy screenplay he had to work with, and with frankly, a difficult book-to-movie adaptation. Probably another major reason I preferred Twilight to NM was because I liked the book Twilight more than the book NM as well. It is the first time we encounter Edward and that whole world in general. Can’t beat that.

      • undecidedsten

        (Plus I very much doubt I would have fallen in love with Dadward if New Moon had been the first movie I watched..:-(

        agree a million per cent! as much as i hate to say edward was the biggest disappointment

    • tracyface

      I watched Twilight again yesterday and I think Edward looked better in Twilight than in New Moon, but then again…he is supposed to look unnatural compared to Jacob’s “warmth”. Edward’s clothing in New Moon was terrible and made him seem like an old man, and yes i know that “tweed is serious” but the best he looked was when he walked (in slo-mo, with the wind in his…shirt) into the Volturi. Anyway, casual Edward is much better than old man Edward. WTF is with the wool sweater under a blazer at the end? Seriously?

      • toooldforthis

        WTF, indeed. I think one of thebiggest fails of NM was Robward’s wardrobe. As much as we liked to laugh at his cheap t-shirts in TW, he did look much more like a 17 year old dressed that way.

        • The Old One

          Really, not only Rob’s wardrobe, but what about Alice’s frumpy outfits? They are supposed to be trying to look like teenagers, and there was nothing teenage about their clothes. I’ve never seen a teenager wear tweed, never! Plus the vampire Bella sequence. That was so very, very, bad. Slo-mo beige, you’ve gotta be kidding me!

          • MariaCecilia

            Thank you, thank you! I didn’t want to rant about the wardrobe and make-up fail AGAIN in my previous post, but you’ve said it all so well. Where did hot teenage Edward and Alice the fey fairy go? Come back, come back!

    • Luludee

      Damn! I didn’t get a chance to check in at all today and I totally missed my letter being used!

      Thanks for the kudos! :)

  • Lauren

    I want to say this is the awesomest letter ever written and that I feel exactly the same way she does, but I don’t think I am 100% ready to break up with Twilight movie just yet….I always have trouble with this part of the breakup. I hold on as long as I can even if it is painful to do so! Maybe this letter will give me the courage to finally say “goodbye”.

  • beakerj

    I am such a sad tag -a-long. I only got my Twilight 2DVD edition in the post a couple of days ago. I’ve only seen the whole film 3 times. Sigh. *Amateur*

    I feel like I’m just getting snuggly with it…maybe I’ll even listen to the whole of the commentary today…

    • obava

      IMHO the commentary is the BEST part of the movie! I never watch it without the commentary anymore :)

      • http://cantgoogleeverything.blogspot.com/ GriffsSayWhat

        omg. quickly reading your comment I thought your username was “obaMa” haha. I thought wow the Pres. reads LTT!!

        must get glasses.

        • JellybeanRainbow

          I bet the first lady reads LTT and LTR and secretly likes Rob or Taylor! And she probably blames the girls for watching the movie again and again.
          I bet the cast will be eventually invited to the White house, because the girls want to meet them.

          • toooldforthis

            If I was Michelle Obama I would totally abuse my position to get the cast of Twilight to the White House. And then I would offer to take Rob on a private tour.

          • mountainlion

            Didn’t Rob say Obama was invited to the Twi premier? I’m sure he’s (Obama) read the books because he wants to know what his daughters are all excited about.

          • http://lorenagay.wordpress.com lorenagay

            That would be amazing. Maybe her older girl has a crush on Boo Boo Stewart

      • kitkat

        True story. Although I, like Luludee, was initially head over heels, I have come to realize that the commentary is, in some ways, better than the actual movie.

  • geekmagnet

    I think I can sum up my thoughts by saying, if I’d seen New Moon before I’d seen Twilight, there’s no way I’d be reading ‘letterstonewmoon’ every day….

    I was beyond excited to get hold of the Twilight DVD and have watched it more times than I can count – don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed New Moon each of the, erm, couple of times I’ve seen it, but I’ll only be getting the DVD for the extras

  • bianca

    HAHAHAHAHAHA yesss!! everyone needs to break up with Twilight!

    And I wont hate Twilight… ill forgive twilight and i will move on… it will be as if it never existed :)

    • Luludee

      That’s pretty much my motto. I just want to forget it ever happened.

  • Vi

    I agree… sort of. I still have this soft spot for twilight. Like an abusive relationship, I keep coming back.
    1. For the shot where they kiss at prom.
    2. Rob in that grey t-shirt sitting in biology. This is love.

    • toooldforthis

      3. Bedroom scene kiss? You have to admit, that was hot.

      • tracyface

        Oh definitely. I admit that I have watched that in slow motion a few times, as well as the restaurant scene where he gives her random answers…love it.

      • Luludee

        I’ll agree with 1. and 3.
        NM was a huge disappointment in the hot kiss department.

    • undecidedsten

      3. the smirk as he walks into the canteen,

      agreee with everyone, even if new moon is flashier and had a bigger budget i’ll always love twilight more.

  • http://twitter.com/Shleeeigh Shleeeigh

    Excellent letter!! However, it makes me a little sad, because I think about what could have been, and how disapointed I was the first time. Damn that couger.

  • http://howtodazzle.wordpress.com Saveyoursoul

    Awesome letter Luludee! To be honest I haven’t even watched Twilight once since I first saw New Moon. And I still feel kind of betrayed cause there was no real meadow scene and no morning after. My favorite parts in the book were cut out. Of course I blame Cathy, who else? ;-)

    • MariaCecilia

      I find that some of my favourite parts are only in Midnight Sun, unfortunately.. :-) But once Midnight Sun comes out we have the perfect excuse for a remake, someone can make a movie of Edward’s version – and that will be a much better film, so everyone will be happy!

  • FullyAlive

    You put into words what I have been feeling for a while! Twilight and I are in that awkward not making eye contact, forced conversation stage as well. “Maybe if I ignore it long enough it’ll get the hint.” Although I still am holding reservation on NM, I might be waiting for it’s much more exciting, more handsome older brother Eclipse before falling in love again. We’ll see…

  • http://notanaddikt.blogspot.com/search/label/TwilightRehab Alice – Not an Addikt

    Twilight and I are friends with benefits. Y’all know the benefits right?

    “We’ll always have Jasper and his bat.”
    Wiser words have rarely been spoken.

    • http://twitter.com/Shleeeigh Shleeeigh

      OMG yes. I think we can handle that.

    • http:/twitter.com/Jayde17 Jayde

      Mmmmm Jaspy bat …

    • Libby

      hhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
      japer’s bat … *sigh*

      “oooooooooh, I think we can handle that”

  • TheColdWoman

    Luludee, you have perfectly described my sentiments exactly. I went to see Twilight by myself for the first time and totally thought there was something wrong with me that I didn’t immediately fall in love with the movie about the book I love. I took a virgin to my second viewing and she really liked it – to which I was like, “Really? You did?” I was super excited that she did but I still didn’t love it and I couldn’t figure out why. But I’ve moved on. I now worship at the throne of CDubs (and will continue to unless we see a leg hitch Mr. Slade!!).

  • bobbygee

    When you’re hot you’re hot and when you’re not you’re not. Maybe Twilight is a great first date but upon further inspection forget about it. http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

    • The Old One

      Wow, a completely cogent comment!

    • egregiousgirl

      Preach, bobbygee! i’m right there with you.

  • JodieO

    I watch Twilight nightly. I use it to fall asleep. The trick is to watch the parts where Rob is hot and to sleep through the embarrassing parts. It’s a much better movie.

    • Katie S

      Have you ever left it on while reading the book? Even if you’re reading New Moon or Eclipse? You wouldn’t be reading BD. Come on now…

      • JodieO

        Nah. I’ve only watched Twilight all the way through a few times. I usually just bring the laptop to bed, cue up Bioward, and fall asleep right after the hospital scene. I’m ok with that.

  • http://notanaddikt.blogspot.com Bella – Not an Addikt

    If you thought Twilight was bad, watch the deleted scenes… it’s a miracle Stephenie Meyer didn’t die of a heart attack over the stuff Cathy the Cougar tried to pull. Like:

    Bella “You really want a taste?”
    Edward “Yeah.”
    After which Edward bites Bella’s finger. And Bella says “ouch.”

    To which I say… ouch.

    • MariaCecilia

      Yes, that was really WEIRD – did the script writer fall asleep on her job? As if he could ever bite her and she could ever lick the – er – venom from her finger. I like the way they look together in that scene, though… Makes me think of knee hitches I have heard of..

      • bianca

        im pretty sure it wasnt part of the script it was the actors improvising :S

    • operarose

      Thanks a lot, I had successfully blocked the memory of that horrid scene out of my mind (perhaps permanently) until you had to bring it up this morning!

      I’ll forgive you though, as it is a valid point as to why we should all break up with Twilight. Twilight was hiding a lot of “skeletons” in its “closet” shall we say. If we had stayed with it longer, who knows how much more dangerous and abusive our relationship with it may have become.

    • lapushbaby

      That scene suuuuuuuuuuuuucked. if that was the actors improvising, that is proof they didn’t read the book. Or proof that they didn’t read it more than once. Very thoroughly. Like us. ahem.

    • kitkat

      And don’t forget the underwater dream sequence that Cathy would have done had the budget been bigger. (Thank you budget gods!)

    • Luludee

      Yikes that was painful. I was embarrassed for them.

  • Katie S

    That was perfect, Luludee. And yes. To ALL of it. I haven’t watched Twilight since New Moon. I’ve actually sat down and looked at the DVD and COULDN’T WATCH IT! And then I got mad because New Moon isn’t out yet. Good story, no?

    • Katie S

      p.s. – “I thought for sure you knew, but then you aren’t very good at spotting bad acting.” = WIN!

    • Midnight_Cyn

      @Katie S….BLASPHEMY..to look but not watch!!! lol…but I still luvs ya lots!!
      Be prepared long post coming….Imma just saying…
      ((hugs)

      • toooldforthis

        Oooh, I love your long posts (that’s what she said).
        Seriously, last time you vented your feelings about NM and I was in 100% agreement with you.

        Can’t wait!

      • Katie S

        Haha, I’m glad you can accept my blasphemous ways. Good to hear from you! I can’t wait to read your post! xoxoxo

  • http://cantgoogleeverything.blogspot.com/ GriffsSayWhat

    I love this post! I totally felt this way when I saw New Moon! I thought, wow this movie is like having a new boyfriend to stalk…. wait did I say that outloud?

    But seriously, besides the quotable quotes and funny jokes we get from Twilight, NM has everything Twi didnt in a movie. sigh. (maybe I should go see it for my 4th date?)

  • Sarita Pagita

    Nice letter! I think you summed up how a lot of us are feeling.

    The Twilight movie was my first time* with anything Twi-related, so for that it will always have a special place in my heart.

    But honestly, it did blow and since NM was exponentially better, I am really hoping Eclipse is blow your mind awesomesausome. Maybe we should start setting expectations, though…the Slade may be able to bring the good effects, but if he effs up the tent scene or the leg hitch…well, it won’t be pretty.

  • tuesdaymidnight

    I’ve only seen New Moon once. I know, I know. There were parts about it I loved… but, I don’t know, something about the train wreck that was Twilight just owns my heart. Twilight has kitschy cult classic written all over it… but New Moon? Sure, I’ll buy it on DVD and watch the hell out of the extras, but nothing will ever be quite like those feelings of first love… and by first love I mean the Rayban scene.

    • http://cantgoogleeverything.blogspot.com/ GriffsSayWhat

      Yes! twilight brings us the rayban scene…almost forgot about that! :-)

      But I have to add- NM brings us the slow-walk accross the parking lot scene.

      And those Emmett one liners :-) (my fav!)

      And I should go do some work and stop commenting before I get fired.

      • geekmagnet

        ahh tuesdaymidnight so glad it’s not just me!

        NM Parking lot Edward will never match up to Biology Edward, Through-the-window Edward, Rayban Edward, Prom Edward, Mushroom-ravioli Edward… and my personal favourite ‘I could always make you’ Edward… oh la

        • undecidedsten

          “NM Parking lot Edward will never match up to Biology Edward, Through-the-window Edward, Rayban Edward, Prom Edward, Mushroom-ravioli Edward… and my personal favourite ‘I could always make you’ Edward… oh la”

          i wasn’t goin to but after reminding me off all those edwards i’m goin to watch twilight again tonight!!

      • Luludee

        I’m going to say something quite possibly blasphemous….
        I thought the Raybans in that scene were stupid and ugly and lame and 80’s looking and not hot.

    • toooldforthis

      Agreed. I don’t think I’m revealing any big secret here when I say there are, ahem, places online where you can see NM. I’m not encouraging it! I paid to see it twice in the theater and I will buy the DVD- for the extras.
      I only mention it because when I tried to watch it again, it only took me 10 minutes. I fast forwarded through most of it. And not just the Bella/Jacob scenes, I actually found myself forwarding through some of the Edward/Bella scenes as well. The dialogue is every bit as cheesy and cringe-worthy as Twilight was. I think even more so in some places.

      Can’t wait for the DVD extras. I’m hoping to see many deleted scenes!

    • whyamidoingthis

      Yes, yes, yes!!!

      You hit it! “Twilight has kitschy cult classic written all over it”–exactly!! Thus, those ridiculous parts can be explained away as kitsch, but the overall feel of the film totally draws you in.

      Whereas, NM, in it’s attempt to be a massive blockbuster, but failing miserably, can’t claim to be kitschy, and it doesn’t draw you in at all.

      • Luludee

        But it’s not really supposed to be kitschy. Kitschy cult classic films are great because they were meant to be kitschy.
        Twilight was trying to be cool or deep or something and just made me cringe. I feel like the only explanation was that those moments just failed and therefore sucked.

        There are moments like that in NM too, but they weren’t anywhere near as painful as Twilight.
        Also, there are some kitschy moments in NM that were meant to be kitschy.

  • http://sadcookie.wordpress.com/ illegalwolflover

    *Stares at chest throughout the comment*
    New Moon…you cut your hair? and got a tattoo? Thats errr,,,wow…*ab punch and sneaky stroke*

    I’ve never left a window open for .Twilight to come in and watch me while I sleep..New Moon on the other hand I like to lead along…saying we’re BFFs and “personal suns” and all that and no its not cause it fulfills my abbage for cabbage quota…lol

    We’ve gone out 4 times already and I’m still waiting for the honeymoon phase to be over…but then it takes me out for dinner,it comes in for coffee and bow chicka wow wow ensues…every time…I think its gonna pop the question soon, with Eclipse coming up and all..It knows my finicky hamster heart far too well…
    Now if the DILF gives us another hour of deleted scenes…I can actually go buy some wedding magazines…I’m thinking an Anne of Green Gables theme and I’m planning to run slo-mo down the aisle to the Baywatch song…
    Luludee…you are totally spot on! That letter was amazing!

    Morning everybody!
    The Hamster might be cheating on New Moon with Glee on the side…teehee

    • Xylem (one ‘o eight over here))

      Abbage for your Cabbage; Anne of Green Gables and Bow Chicka Wow wow… All in the same post. THAT’S WHY U ROCK!

      Morning cookie!!! Stay out of the jungles today, k? 

      • Robjunkie

        YES! I absolutely agree. The mood created in Twilight is far better than NM. Superior special fx does not a better movie make.

    • Sparklecakes

      IWL, that was just ab-fab. I hope you’re being safe. ;-)

  • SillyBeautifulOverSensitiveGirl

    Twilight and I are are a midnight booty call. Something to do when its hard to sleep or something to hold me over till I see the New one again.

    It’s not a serious relationship anylonger but atleast its always there. A back up plan…

  • Xylem (one ‘o eight over here))

    TWILIGHT V. NEW MOON

    I am so glad we are discussing this because after nearly ODeing on New Moon I decided to watch Twilight again for some variety (as if no other movies exist). I did so expecting to dislike it even more than I did prior to watching NM… I was surprised that the opposite happened. Yes, Twilight as an adaptation of the book is CRAP… but Twilight as an introduction to the Twidom (which foe me it was) it’s AWESOME… So as I simultaneously procastinated writing mid-term academic jeopardy letters and pondered which elements of both movies I preferred, This is what I came up with:

    EDWARD: T
    BELLA: NM
    CHEMISTRY/ ROBSTEN SEXUAL TENSION: T
    JACOB: Both (seriously, see the way he looks at Bella when she first finds out the truck is hers?… “like something to eat” does not do it justice”.
    CHARLIE: Both Twitter
    SCORING: T
    SOUNDTRACK: T
    MOVIE PROMO & POSTERS: T
    DIRECTOR: NM (I <3 U CDubbs! Despite not sounding like it in a few)
    HUMANS: Both
    ACTION, SPARKLES & FX: NEW MOON, HANDS DOWN!
    KISSING: TWILIGHT, HANDS…. Errr LIPS DOWN
    CINEMATOGRAPHY: TWILIGHT, yeah, I said it. That movie is gorge… Blue and green, yes, but gorge.

    While on the subject of cinematography… I decided after my 4th viewing of NM that I strongly dislike the work of this DP…. And in a little while you will too, my apologies in advance. It finally dawned on me while watching the reunion kiss that a much better movie actually took place than the DP actually captured. I know this because I've seen better versions of that reunion captured on cell phones and uploaded to YouTube. Seriously, Bella's legs wrapped around Edward… how does one miss that? Edward kissing Bella with abandon cause he thinks they are dead… How do you miss that too? There are also other places where the camera angle was so awkward that it was distracting. When Jake is sitting on Bella's bed and she walks up to him and grabs his hair (which is also in the book) the camera is behind Bella so you only catch a limited glimpse of it towards the end. Hawtness aside, that gesture was very important as an illustration of how intimate their frienship is… But you almost miss it. The scene when Jake says "don't get me upset" I was ready to see what was shown in the trailer, instead Bella is walking in front of him when he says it and so you don't see his face when he's delivering that line. There are so many instances when I wanted to yell "¡cut!" and reposition the camera… Too many to name, but hands down the one that pissed me off the most was the showdown at the end when Jake reaches out to unwrap Edward's arm from around Bella with the deadly "you don't speak for her" line and Edward smacks him away. YOU NEVER SEE THE EFFING HANDS!!!! That was so effing annoying! Since then I've seen NM again and I've decided you can actually create a drinking game to the number of scenes that take place over someone's shoulder and the number of time he omits hands. It seriously approaches shoulder fettish level. In contrast the way the hands are used that Edward bedroom almost dancing scene from Twilight is all kind of awesome…rivals Voltera scene in my mind…. And there was no kissing involved!

    Whew! That was a long one! (twss)

    END RANT.

    • toooldforthis

      I love you for this! I got sick and tired of staring at Rob or Kristen’s shoulder during the kissing scenes.

      Say what you will about the Cougar, she not only knew how to get a great kissing scene, she knew how to film it.

      The reunion kiss scene in NM could have been so passionate, but it fell flat.

      • The Old One

        Perhaps the Cougar’s personal vision of what she wanted to see was much closer to what we all wanted to see, physically/emotionally, than CW’s or the male DP’s vision, who was more interested in the lighting effects etc., like Rob said, “like an oil painting”: pretty, but doesn’t grab you where it counts (!)

      • Luludee

        I completely agree about the kissing scenes. Even the post-birthday scene which many people were raving about before NM came out. Both were huge let-downs. I didn’t feel the passion, I felt two actors kissing because that’s what they are supposed to do in the scene.

        The cougar gets big points for a great kissing scene.

    • StotheP

      That was amazing, XXXy. Thanks for the breakdown, and you’re so right.

      • Xylem (one ‘o eight over here))

        Aww SP… Thanks! Have been upgraded from NC17 to XXX? ;)

    • absolutelyvlc

      Xylem, you took the words right out of my mouth (how rude! j/k). I dig you :D

    • whyamidoingthis

      Yes, CH knew how to showcase the kisses and create the mood. She also showcased 2 of Rob’s songs on the soundtrack, placing them in the prefect scenes. She rocked.

    • lizziecoo

      Great rant!! AND spot on…I couldn’t put my finger on why I’m still soooo much more in love with Twilight than NM and you’ve hit the nail(s) on the head…I might be able to sleep at night now…these things do play on my tiny mind……Ta!

      • lizziecoo

        Just seen NM again today and I left the cinema slightly irate – it’s a good film but you’re spot about the Dadward clothes and the poor camera angles ie toooo much shoulder not enough face on face. Some parts of the film are amazing especially the action screens but the film seems to miss the mark in terms of the ‘essence of the book.’ Hardwicke captured the teenage angst perfectly – you’re really drawn in by B & E – unfortunately the B & E moments seemed rushed. Also, the ‘green’ edgy feel to Twilight really adds to atmosphere and helps focus on the characters where as NM is very bright, busy and, I feel, distracting. CW and CH should have doubled up to produce this movie – it may have been perfect then? But anyhoo, I went to see it twice, I’m gonna buy it when it comes out and I’m generally living a Twi-life – fabulous!!
        ps I would just like to add that if I ever meet the person who dressed Edward in grey tweed with black velvet(?) collar I will beat them into next week…facepunch!!

        • Xylem (one ‘o eight over here))

          Lizz,

          This is awesome… I hope I didn’t ruin the movie experience for you, but I’m glad you got to see what I was talking about… Yay!!!

          Also, I have some awful, awful news. The person responsible for tweeding, aging, and greying Edward is *gasp* Robert Pattinson…. He insisted on it despite the costume designer’s objection. So yeah… Next time they’re discussing Edward’s wardrobe he needs to STFU.

          Glad you enjoyed the flix (as if I was responsible)…. Hee hee

          • lizziecoo

            HE DID THAT TO EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG – what was he thinking?……mmmmmmmm…….maybe, he’s trying to put us off! Maybe, he’s fed up with all the attention, stalking, rumours and no privacy thing? (I don’t blame him) Maybe he’s trying to make Edward less attractive and in doing so deflecting all that attention away from him…very cunning!! Maybe he realises that there are a lot of us yummy mummies lusting after him and he’s trying to please us? I’m off to LTR to sort this out….I want the padded, puffy blue jacket thing back, I want the checked shirty thing back, I want the pea jacketty thing back, I WANT the 17/109 year old vampire looking like a 17/109 year old vamp – NOT like Professor Digory out of the Narnia stories! AARRRRHHHHH!!….’calm’…’calm’……’sigh’….

  • http://www.twitter.com/_dharv HeyyyBrother

    Well this letter was pure genius.

    I haven’t seen Twilight since I saw New Moon in the theater, so I have no idea how I’d react to it now. I mean, honestly, I laughed through it every single time before so I’m sure I’d just do the same thing… I didn’t love New Moon, though, and Twilight will always hold a special, cheesy, awkward, horribly kitschy place in my heart.

    • Luludee

      Wow, accolades from you HB, have totally made my day!!

      I have not watched Twilight since I have seen NM. I wrote this simply thinking back on my viewings. I don’t know if or when I will watch Twilight again….although I am curious about the commentary, as I have not seen it at all.

      I have been thinking though, to be fair, perhaps part of my disappointment with Twilight was that I saw it so soon after reading the books, and so I was still totally wound up in that world. Everything was still so fresh. With NM, I’ve been out of the world for a long time and having only read the series once, couldn’t remember a lot of the little details about New Moon.

  • suzyb49

    I loved New Moon – I’ve seen it 6 times – but there is no way I could ever break up with Twilight. Nothing in New Moon comes close to the bedroom kiss, the prom dance and kiss, Edward’s beautiful embarrassed face when he shows her his room, his jumping down off of her pickup truck, Bella’s lullaby, Edward actually looking 17, I could go on for hours.

    Right now I have the cheesy music and dubbed in sounding voice of Bella saying “you can’t hurt each other without hurting me” scarring my last view of New Moon.

    I have high hopes for Eclipse – in that single released picture (what is taking so long for some pics and a trailer!!!) Edward actually is dressed like a teen again. Since I’m 39 I should probably like his old man wardrobe in New Moon but I don’t!

    • Chocoholic80

      I agree with you completely! For all that Twilight was absolutely cringe-worthy in many ways, NOTHING compares to that bedroom kiss….Cathy Hardwicke really got the emotional connection. And now I’ve seen the movie so many times that I find the ridiculous parts funny and endearing. New Moon is more polished and I loved it, but the connection and passion between Bella and Edward just wasn’t as evident. And it bugged me that the tweed and the yellow contacts messed with Edwards hotness…because of all things, Edward should be hot!

      I guess it’s hard to get everything you’d like out of one director…….. I will stick to liking both movies for different reasons….

      • suzyb49

        Well it looks like he is hot again in Eclipse from that one picture. I’m so scared though from the comments I’m reading about the Eclipse script – sounds like alot of cut too short Edward and Bella scenes again like in New Moon. Let’s all cross our fingers that David Slade gets it!

    • undecidedsten

      if the letter was meant to show how twilgiht fails compared to new moon i think the comments section is reminding everyone of all the wins in the film i.e. “his jumping down off of her pickup truck”

  • operarose

    The letter is so true. I tried watching Twi the other day because I missed NM but it wasn’t working. “When I’m with him, I’m thinking of you…” I just ended up feeling dirty afterwards and longed for the day when NM would come to me once again (TWSS).

    On the other hand I read a comment above that the Twilight DVD commentary is the best part of the movie. I hate to admit this on here, because I know the commentary has achieved a sort of legendary status around LTT, but I have never listened to it. Maybe I should buy it a drink this weekend, take it back to my place, turn it on, and see what happens.

    • MichaelSheenisaDILF

      I haven’t watched it with the commentary either. After all the comments on here though, I’m waiting for my husband to go away so Twi and I can have some alone time…

      • The Old One

        Twi-dultery!

      • lapushbaby

        The commentary is not to be missed. Worth the price of the DVD, that is.

    • egregiousgirl

      do it! it’ll show you a good time.

  • lapushbaby

    While I understand every sentiment in this letter, and agree with most of it, Oh Twilight-the-movie, I still love you. Your awkward dialogue, your sweet soundtrack, your hot kisses and Vitamin R placement. You introduced me to Robward, and for that, you will always have a place in my heart.

    …still carrying a torch….
    lpb

  • http://isuckatbloggingbuticanbite.blogspot.com/ Janetrigs

    NICE! They’re NOT BEARS!

    • http://isuckatbloggingbuticanbite.blogspot.com/ Janetrigs

      IT doesn’t get old, well maybe, but I like it anyhow, so deal!

  • http://adriennetrafford.blogspot.com adrienne

    “Jasper and his bat” – one of your best parts …oh and “i could always make you…” – and lapushbaby is right – you gave us Robward…eternally grateful but moving on…

  • Sparklecakes

    While I agree that New Moon is swoon worthy compared to the epic fail whale that is Twilight, I don’t think I could ever break up with it. Why? Because the Coug’s directorial crapterpiece is what introduced me to this crazyass world. I rented it off of Pay-per-view just because I needed to know what all the freaking out was for. I mean, seriously, why was it so fabulous? Oh…Rob. That’s why. I proceeded to spend around $27 the following 2 weeks until I realized I should break down and buy the DVD. And the book. And the rest of the series 24 hours after that. Next thing you know, I’m losing HOURS of my life watching interviews and the epic VF shoot. Then I’m in a line waiting for the midnight New Moon showing shooting a few girls bitchface after they announce that everyone needs to scream when Edward comes on the screen. This debacle was followed by me demanding free tickets AND refreshments from the theater after a fire alarm went off during the fountain scene and continued into half of the fight scene with Felix.

    You know what? Nevermind.

    Twilight has turned me into some kind of crazy bitch and it might be best if we broke up after all.

    • StotheP

      You’re not a crazy bitch (although I love me some crazy bitches sometimes)! You’re a popsnark! Teehee.

    • Xylem (one ‘o eight over here))

      SC… you describe my life exactly with how you discovered Twilight (except I only spent $8 on iTunes before I broke down and bought everything :). But you wrote my biography with:

      “Twilight has turned me into some kind of crazy bitch and it might be best if we broke up after all.”

    • lapushbaby

      ‘crapterpiece’. LOL! can I use that?

      Also, it is good to know when a relationship is becoming unhealthy…justsayin………….

  • fangbanger

    I will love Twilight forever more.

    I watch it every night before I go to sleep… well, I turn it on at least. I don’t usually make it past the beaches of LaPush.

    Mr. Fang and I have had many an argument over my repeated viewings. He can’t sleep with it on. I can’t sleep without it on. This means that he can almost beat me at Twilight Scene It.

    I’ve always been a go to sleep to the same movie kinda person. It started with Rocky Horror Picture Show, moved to Cruel Intentions, then to O’Brother Where Art Thou, and now it’s Twilight. There should be some sort of award for sleepytime movies.

    PS. I’ve only seen New Moon once. I cannot judge it because I almost like the Hillywood version better at this point.

    • http://cantgoogleeverything.blogspot.com/ GriffsSayWhat

      my husband wont play Twilight scene it with me. Or harry potter scene it. If there was a TreuBlood scene it he probably wouldnt play that either :-(

      He will only play Seinfeld Scene it.

      • fangbanger

        Mine does not get a choice.

        He plays or I whine.

        No one wants to hear me whine.

        ;)

    • mountainlion

      Agreed. I almost like the Hillywood version of NM better, too.

    • undecidedsten

      “almost like the Hillywood version better at this point”

      ha ha i agree with ya!

  • http://www.lulaville.com Leigh Anne

    For Serious. I renamed it “Sucklight.” Then promptly broke up with it.

    What especially saddens me is that after all the movies are filmed (4 or 5) and are available on DVD, when my complete set is stacked on the shelf, I’ll not want Sucklight to be amongst the others. Even if Eclipse & Breaking Dawn aren’t nearly as good as New Moon, they have to be better than Sucklight. And I’ll hate to have an unmatched set.

    Dangit.

    • Luludee

      I like it.

  • Scarlet

    I hate to be the one to against the grind, however, my critiques of New Moon were far harsher than Twilight. Granted, Twilight is where I lost my Twi-ginity, so we will always have that…but I also look at it through a softer lens: Twilight was technically a low budget near Indy film versus New Moon which had a ginormous budget and a hot-shot director (has anyone SEEN the Golden Compass? that movies sucked) and it is for this reason that I felt NM was a far greater failure in all. NM did have some serious saving grace scenes that I don’t think Catherine would have delivered such as the chase scene with Victoria- absolutely brilliant (add ten exclamation points), a far better soundtrack throughout, and the fight scene in Volterra (why the hell wasn’t it 20 seconds longer?). What it lacked however, was serious passion between the characters. I know it had a lot of story to cover but all in all NM should have known better- chemistry is what Twilight was all about and I just saw a lackluster effort through direction and editing and some of the details which I think they should have known better to accompany the film were lost. Can anyone agree with these?
    1. The meadow scene: yes it’s dead like a metaphor for their love- BUT I wanted them to give Bella a good crying freak out scene…not just malaise and spinning camera affects. Didn’t she break down in her truck at some point? serious MISS.
    2. What was the fluffy calling after Edward through the woods when he leaves? He’s a fucking vampire. He runs REALLY fast. I wanted some dramatics to make my gut wrench. Bella would have RUN after him screaming his name. MISS.
    3. The vision of Bella as a vampire? Seriously? I thought she turns into a smoking babe…or something.
    4. What the hell happened to their clothing? I know they are dapper but do you think vampires really care what common people perceive as grown up (senior years) attire (I read somewhere that the wardrobe person felt they needed a more mature senior look) ? Pggghhtt… RP is aging in RL let’s not do that to his character to wouldn’t give a damn.
    5. Bella and Ed’s kiss in Vulterra & his goodbye kiss- LAME. LAME. LAME.

    I know NM is dark but Edward actually smiles sometimes- even in the book, he finds humor in Bella and actually can be happy- no need to be constipated all of the time. I re-read to after I watched the move (2 times)…and I plan to see it a fourth just in case I missed something.

    • Xylem (one ‘o eight over here))

      You had me at: “Twiginity”

      and loved, loved all your observations…. I’m partial to:

      “RP is aging in RL let’s not do that to his character…”

      • The Old One

        Totally right on there. They’d better hurry up with Breaking Dawn or they’re going to have to put Edward in a PowerRanger t-shirt to counterbalance the aging thing.

        • Scarlet

          Crap! I gave you the wrong thumb. No joke. He will need bunny slippers, a Bugaboo stroller, and a binky pretty soon….I know it’s not a necessary issue but really- Bella is freaked about aging which is none of the Cullen’s concern since they have been the same….why create the illusion of maturity? Do real HS seniors do that? I don’t remember doing that.

    • whyamidoingthis

      Agreed on all counts!

      Folks on another blog argue that the Bella in the books never freaked out, so they were staying true to the character to have movie-version Bella remain catatonic throughout the break-up and afterwards. I’m sorry, but I truly believe that everyone, EVERYONE, despite the fact that some process their feelings at slower rates than others, reaches a freak-out point. I mean, she’s still human at that point, right? I think it would have greatly improved the break-up scene to have Bella shed a silent tear or two. And I think a scene, maybe weeks later, whenever, of crying would have been realistic. Instead, they used cringe-worth nightmares to showcase her freak-outs. They were ridiculous and over-the-top.

      • Scarlet

        I will completely admit that I have read ALL of Stephenie Meyer’s “deleted” chapters and character development chapters- which sometimes make me go back again to make sure I didn’t miss something…in NM in the development Bella goes to the Cullen’s house, she gets some anonymous money etc. So, possibly she did break down in those…but I’m almost sure I remember her pulling off the side of the road during a rain and slumping over the steering wheel…? Don’t make me read it again. Please! I just sucked myself back out of that obsessive vortex before my new semester starts…

        Cringe inducing is right. The nightmares were like 2 year old tantrums. Oh well! I can overlook those though.

    • lapushbaby

      You are so on it with #3. Yes, WAY smokin babe in a HOT DRESS that Alice picked out. Oh wait, movie-Alice has terrible taste in clothes (for young people)

    • undecidedsten

      agreee completely with everything scarlet, i felt so let down after seeing new moon i’ve only seen it once. the only wins were the parking lot seen where robward looks sort of 17 and does the strut and k stews portrayal of the months goin by. i’ll only buy the dvds for the extras too

      • Scarlet

        I think you should see it again. I know! I just crapped all over NM didn’t I? NM was better the second time I saw it. The first viewing, granted it was at 12:01 am which is way past my beyond-spring chicken years, left me feeling confused- WTF just happened? The second time around I really took a look at some of the winning scenes which, although I felt the movie could have been better with minor differences, really won me over enough to see it again and bother with having an opinion at all. Plus I had to read the book again to see what they missed or could have done- I know it’s hind sight and my opinion doesn’t matter an iota but what the hell. The movie was decent, the emotions not so much….but that’s why they hired Chris in the first place right? Who wasn’t in a near panic to see what they were going to pull out for the wolves? Chris delivered action (and not enough by my opinion-but brilliant action) and Catherine the sexual chemistry and emotion. Co-direction between the two would have truly made this movie a Twigasm (I know I stole that form the blog). And no, I do not believe it’s a diff between Team Edward or Team Jacob- I would have loved to see the chemistry between Bella and Jacob ramp up- something to tick me off like the book did. Give it one more go…you might be less disappointed.

        : )

  • Bleriana

    Actually the only thing that changed after New Moon was me watching Twilight more than before. (to make fun of it) and I take every chance I get to take someones New Moon virginity away.
    But tbh I don’t care about New Moon anymore since I have been spoiled by someone who read the leaked Eclipse script…

    ATTENTION!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!
    removed b/c i’ve (UC) gotten a bunch of emails and i don’t want to deal with it any more:)
    ATTENTION!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!

    • Sparklecakes

      Seriously? I thought we covered that yesterday. No spoilers for God’s sake! Jeeez! And further more, we don’t know what will happen with any *BEEP*. You know why? That was an early version of the script and two, I doubt the script would come out and describe said leg hitch. No more spoilers please.

    • Xylem (one ‘o eight over here))

      I thumbed down and now I’m going to comment. I’ve been avoiding any mention of that damn script. I did not read your post, but the all caps framed spoiler can not be missed. You might as well hang Christmas lights around te damn thing.

      And now I’m pissed. To quote the wise Sparklecakes: “Twilight has turned me into some kind of crazy bitch and it might be best if we broke up after all.” Gah!

      • Bleriana

        Seriously?
        Thats why I “framed” it.. so no one reads… If you did your fault. I can’t help it.
        And just so you know this is supposed to be a comment section and not a ‘I tell you what to write’ section you know. If I feel like saying I’ve heard there’s no *BEEP* I’ll do it… because I didn’t even bother about the script but thats what I heard.

        • http://adriennetrafford.blogspot.com adrienne

          it was impossible NOT to read it…that was not cool

        • Bleriana

          Lots of girls say you should mark a spoiler and than everyone gets mad still? wtf ?

          • fangbanger

            You should just go to the forum and discuss spoilers.

            End of story.

            People read too fast to be bothered with your warnings.

            Now. Let’s all play nicey nice before someone fursplodes.

        • Sparklecakes

          I know. It’s because you have no manners. If everyone in the world did what their liberties allowed the to do, it would be a pretty nasty place. There would be unwanted spoilers and copycat blogs everywhere. If you know what I’m sayin’. I think you do.

          • Bleriana

            I know what you mean. But I am not the one doing every thing my liberties allow me to do. I’m not disrespecting anyone or being a bitch about anything.
            But anyhow: It’s not worth getting into a fight because of something so stupid. Even though some seem to be very eager just to get into arguments even though they should be old enough not to behave like that.

        • http://chimaera2009.wordpress.com chimaera2009

          I don’t care if you marked it with road flares and a pair of tap-dancing monkeys. That was fuckery. I’m glad my blissfully virgin eyes missed it.

          • lapushbaby

            Chim, will u mark your next post with tap-dancing monkeys, just ’cause I want to see that. Thanks.

        • Xylem (one ‘o eight over here))

          Yeah..hat’s exactly why people ‘frame’ things like art, so that no one SEES it.

          I agree, you absolutely have the freedom of speech to spread whatever rumors you wish without any coutesy or regard for fellow readers, just like I have the freedom of speech to point out such douchbaggery when I see it.

          Do carry on, I promise to do the same.

          Damnit!!! And I thought it was going to be a nice quiet day.

          • Sparklecakes

            I love you long time. That is all.

    • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

      i removed it!

      since we’ve been getting emails telling US (as in UC & Moon) to stay away from the comments… wellllllll that’s sad. I don’t want to.. so new rule- no spoilers! Go start a spoiler thread on the forum if you want to talk spoilers! (this isn’t just about you Bleriana- no big deal- it’s anyone who wants to discuss spoilers! We have a forum that that can happen in.. actually.. i’ll go start a thread now!)

      • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

        it’s already started!!! Discuss spoilers for Eclipse here: http://letterstotwilight.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=4068

        • Sparklecakes

          And this is why you are fabulous.

      • fangbanger

        You are my hero.

        UC for president!

        Aren’t you supposed to be resting? :D

        • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

          yes. whoops:) no i’m working half days. so … i’m really supposed to be working:)

        • absolutelyvlc

          that’s what I was thinking. Get back in bed UC. We don’t want you out of commission!

      • Bleriana

        ok… That’s fine I’m sorry for starting it on here…

        • http://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com unintendedchoice

          again- please don’t feel singled out- i haven’t read the comments all week b/c i’ve heard there’s spoilers and we should’ve said something before about the forum but ya know… pneumonia here:) not thinking clearly!

          I’m sure TONS of ppl want to discuss it and the forum is a great place! loves

          • Bleriana

            If I’d know about it I would have gone there…

            Sorry again for spoiling everyone…

      • Xylem (one ‘o eight over here))

        Thank you UC!!! feel better!

      • SEM

        Thank you for doing that. Not because I necessarily care whether someone posts a spoiler (as long as it is identified as such beforehand) but because it gets really fucking ugly in here when somebody does it. There is no reason in the world to be so hateful to each other regardless of your feelings on the subject.

  • http://www.optimisticandindenial.blogspot.com Meg O

    that is dead.on how i felt watching New Moon. i thought Twilight and i had something special, but turns out it was only because of the book that we stayed together.

  • Kendall

    I agree New Moon is better, but I can’t find myself every really letting go of Twilight…it’s like a first relationship/love. Once you step away from it you can see all the things that really never worked, how certain things didn’t really make you happy, the cheesiest, the endless internal questioning of your taste, but yet-it still always mean something. It’s a first experience.

    Sure, it may cause lots of embarrassment for me, and my friends may make fun of me because I saw it multiple times in the theater and even own it, but this is really no different from them making fun of my first BF who at 18 had the crazy skater haircut w/shaved sides and floppy long bangs. I love him and I love Twilight with all the idiosyncrasies.

  • CalientePocket

    Uhh, I made my husband watch Twilight with me after I saw NM and I was actually kind of embarrassed by how terrible it really is. I kept saying to him, “I swear, the book is a lot better then this and so is NM.” After it was over he told me that he thought it wasn’t that bad. I think he was lying to make me feel better about how much I love it in all it’s terribleness.

    • http://cantgoogleeverything.blogspot.com/ GriffsSayWhat

      haha your husband sounds so nice! Mine said its lame and he would not even go watch NM with me. :-)

      • CalientePocket

        Oh trust me, he makes fun of many aspects of my Twi-love. My favorite is when he tells rooms full of people how much I love Twilight. NOT OK!

        When NM comes out on DVD, I think I might be able to sneak it in the player and have it running before he knows what hits him. That’s my only chance in hell. hahaha

        • http://cantgoogleeverything.blogspot.com/ GriffsSayWhat

          Yes! My husband has “outed” me before, too! He told friends at dinner the other night about my reading and commenting on this blog… I gave him a nice smack on the shoulder and said “shhhhhhh thats a secret!” I may or may not have had some wine.

  • absolutelyvlc

    But I sort of faked it for awhile anyway. I thought for sure you knew, but then you aren’t very good at spotting bad acting hahaha, very witty luludee :D <3

  • The Old One

    I just want to say one more thing about Twilight and then I’ll shut up today (maybe). I absolutely loved how Hardwicke “got” the feeling of the Pacific Northwest–the rain, the logging trucks, the trees, the whole fabulous Olympic Peninsula, and that was all in the book, too. That scene where they’re sitting and looking out over the inlet with the water and mountains in the background, and the gloomy sky, or when they’re up in the top of the tree–the scenery was a like a character in the background. The blue filter on everything was, I think, intended to bring that feeling to the indoor scenes.

    • whyamidoingthis

      You’re like the only other person I know who doesn’t mock the blue filter. I liked it. I made me feel cold (except during extremely hot kissing scenes).

      Having done my undergrad in the PNW, I also loved how much CH showcased it. All in all, despite her many bad choices, her overall touch just left the right feeling with me. Drizzly, cold, and romantic.

      • Scarlet

        I agree with you both. I had never read Twilight nor did I see it in the first run movie theater..I just happened to see it at the second run theater at a time when I had free time. LOVED IT. What really caught me was the PNW, being a frequent traveler to both the Seattle area and Portland where most of my MSP freinds live now (traitors!) – the overhead shot when Edward is driving Bella to his home- PRICELESS. I also have a thing for Volvo’s, with my husband and I having 2…the dialogue was corny yes, but people giggled and still enjoyed the romance. The blue filter and the amazing colors that exist in the PNW in nature truly set the scenery. I was disappointed to hear they were filming in Canada.

        • whyamidoingthis

          Me too. I thought Portland was the perfect place to film. Such an excellent city. Hopefully the rumors that BD will be shot there are true.

          I have some reservations about how DS handled intimate parts of Eclipse; however, I have hope that he reintroduced the beauty of the rainforests in B.C., based upon all of the nature photos he took throughout filming. He seems to appreciate nature–so perhaps the film will reflect this.

          And yes, I too had not read the books, and was only inspired to after netflixing Twilight this summer while my hubs was out of town.

    • Luludee

      I’ve never mocked the color scheme. I actually really liked it, and that shot when they are in the tree is really beautiful. I thought the cinematography was really nice overall.

  • MichaelSheenisaDILF

    Luludee, this post is brillz. I’m in LOVE with New Moon the movie. I like the warmth of the colors, and the smooth editing of scenes, and the sound track, and the voice over emails to Alice. But most of all, I think the biggest difference is that C-Dub got a WAY better acting job out of KStew, and gave Tay the room to do his thing. AND, the most brilliant thing of all was casting Michael Sheen as Aro. Just sayin.

    But, I still have to give credit to Cathy. In all of her Cougar lust, she filmed Edward in a way that was so spot on, we saw him the way Bella does, like a god. I fell in love with RPattz. And some of the shots of the trees and stuff and the Cullen Compound are beautiful. But New Moon is a much better movie on the whole.

  • kitkat

    Maybe this is what had to happen. Remember the discussion that UC and Moon led before New Moon about expectations? What if Twilight had been everything that it could have been? What if it knocked our socks off? Can you imagine what we would have thought when waiting for New Moon?

    Wow, that was a lot of rhetorical questions. What I’m saying is that there is nowhere to go but up. Twilight, while it had its moments, was not an incredible movie. New Moon improved. (okay, I loved it) Hopefully, Eclipse will be even better.

  • allryans

    Truth is, if you are looking for perfection, you have to combine New Moon and Twilight. ShakespeareWard doesn’t hold a candle to Bioward. Tweed can’t compare to peacoat. “Still so stubborn” while cute, doesn’t come close to “You really shouldn’t have said that.” PromWard trumps VolterraWard. Conversely, Twilight has all the other things mentioned in the letter … spider monkeys and stuttering and blinking and other such stuff. New Moon is sleeker and smarter. But come on, Twilight has the better Robward.

    • toooldforthis

      That’s probably what it comes down to. If you like Robward, you like Twilight. If you like Taycob, you like NM better.

      Give me Robward in a peacoat!

      • Cam

        I desperately missed the peacoat in New Moon!

        And his hair…I mean the hair was just so epic, so hot in Twilight. I missed the hot Robward hair in New Moon!

      • Luludee

        Yes, the Robward is better in Twilight in many ways. I actually forgot how amazing he looks on the field trip…I’m tempted to subject myself to the film just to see him in that outfit again.

        But my feelings on the films are based around how well I felt they represented the books/stories in general.

        • toooldforthis

          “But my feelings on the films are based around how well I felt they represented the books/stories in general.”

          I can 100% agree with you on this. Twilight as a strict interpretation of the book, was lacking. I saw the movie before I read the book. When I did read the book a few weeks later, I was surprised at how much CH left out. I don’t just mean a few insignificant things here and there. She left out “I love you’s” and awesome meadow scenes and blood typing. However, I still think she captured the overall mood of the movie better than NM captured the mood of it’s book, despite being a closer interpretation.

  • Ashley

    Let’s face the facts. NEW MOON is f*ckingamazing.

    However…Twilight gave us *gulp* Wayland.
    Buttcrack Santa.
    “Kitty Meeeow”
    and Jasper’s bat spin.

    <3. It's like trying to pick a favorite child. There are good aspects about each movie———-actually———New Moon is way better because of Taylor's nakedness. I mean…uhh…acting. His acting. Shit. Don't call the police I HAVE ONE MORE MONTH!

    xo Ash

  • bikechick3

    OMG! I don’t necessarily agree with everything Luludee says, but this is one of the best-written and wittiest posts I’ve seen in a while (no insults to Moon and UC, this one was just epic)… LOL!

  • confessor

    this pretty much sums up my feelings…

    twilight > new moon

  • vickyb

    OMG…you just summed it up perfectly. I have wanted to break up w Twilight for a while. I admit I didn’t bc I didn’t know what my other Twi friends would think of me. I stayed just for the laughs. It was probably mean to do that but I couldn’t help it. I feel bad for Twilight now. After seeing New Moon I can’t help but think about how GREAT Twilight could have been *sigh* Maybe in my children’s lifetime there will be a remake of the Twilight saga and we will finally get some closure.

    • The Old One

      Remake? Blasphemy!

    • Luludee

      One of my first thoughts after NM was that they should go back and remake Twilight right now, with all the same people.

  • TeamSeth

    “But I sort of faked it for awhile anyway. I thought for sure you knew, but then you aren’t very good at spotting bad acting.”

    FTW!

  • TeamSeth

    Ok, so I need to throw this bit in for tuesday and mountainlion, as I got called out hardcore yesterday for my lack of effort:

    So, I guess Bewley does have blue eyes after all. What’s with that popped collar? Sigh. All kinds of unfortunate, mate.

    We haven’t seen the red shirt in awhile, so why not?

    Also thought I’d throw in one of Cuddley, since I googled “Cuddley Dan” and this came up

    • Luludee

      Oh, I noticed those blue eyes right away! He put me under his spell with them at the NM premiere.

  • enbie

    Interesting to hear everyone else’s opinions on Twilight vs. New Moon…

    I honestly can say that I like them both equally!
    But for different reasons…

    I like the feel of the Twilight film… as i do with all indie films, i appreciate the attention to detail and I also liked Edward’s make-up better in Twilight… of course, we didn’t see him as often in New Moon, but I can honestly say that Rob looked way hotter in Twilight… I DIE! I don’t know if i would have felt that way without reading the books though.

    New Moon was like a total blockbuster film, so the feeling was different and there were some parts of the book that I was definitely missing (including the very important to me meteor speech). But I think it was a film you could appreciate WITHOUT even reading the books and in the end that’s what I think Summit was going for… a way to lure in people who were not yet twilight fans, i.e. our BOYFRIENDS! My boyfriend hated Twilight & loved New Moon (he was pleased to see that Jacob was a werewolf)… he said there was never a climax in Twilight (that’s what she said). But, he also knows like every line of the movie… I think he secretly loves it. ;)

    new moon was an awesome moive

  • Keisha

    I just watched Twilight (with commentary) last night for the first time since seeing New Moon and walked away with a new respect for Twilight. I also wanted to see New Moon again real bad but I’m trying to keep my viewing number to one hand.
    I’ll agree there are parts to both movies I liked better. Bioward and “you really shouldn’t have said that” Edward with his one vamp tooth smile is why I fell for Rob. He looks so much like my first love MLB pitcher Mike Mussina in those 2 shots that it took my breath away the first time.
    And I firmly believe you should NOT see New Moon before seeing or reading Twilight because New Moon the movie explains nothing.
    I did notice that it appears Bella is wearing the same jacket in the “we shouldn’t be friends” bus scene in Twilight, the first time Edward tries to push her away for her safety, as she is in the break up scene in New Moon. Coincidence?

  • Johanna

    It was an awesome letter! Some of my friends still thinks twilight’s better than new moon. I think they are blind or something. I also need to break up with twilight, though I haven’t seen it since I saw New Moon – I don’t know if I can, it woul be like cheating on NM…

  • Cammie

    I have broken up with the whole saga. Don’t get me wrong it was fun while it lasted, but sometimes you just have to move on. Like you say in the twitter world @twilightsaga = #overit.

    The only reason I read this stuff is because you guys are so awesomespice (holla, bbl :-))

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