I’m gonna BING Summit and tell them to stop product placement

Yep! This is Letters to Twilight, you’re not going crazy. Look different? It better. It only took us a year and 3 months to make this happen (literally) More about that after today’s letter!

Dear Twilight,

I recently had a conversation with 2 friends of mine and we came up with some really good ideas that we thought we’d throw out to you in case something falls through with your contract with Fancy Feast Cat Food (“Cause Edward wouldn’t eat a skinny cat”) or Depends Undergarments (“Cause after 108 years, sometimes you need something to depend on) Can you tell I’m in advertising?

BING Twilight

Click- cause the top result is brilliant

EastFriend: Dude– did you see on Gossip Girl last night that Jenny “BINGed” cancer. I almost threw up. Freakin’ Vamp Diaries had a BING moment 2 weeks ago, too. The CW as a whole must be selling out.

Wonder if Summit & the CW are in bed together? Both suck limp peen.

UC: if someone BINGs something in Twilight…. like Bella Bings “how to bang a vampire” I will CUT A BITCH.  You GOOGLE THAT SHIT Bella! BING is for dads & grandpas. Tell Edward he doesn’t know what’s cool on the interwebs- he’s too old.

Too_Far_Gone: PS that should totally be a blog post in my mind – what people should NOT do in eclipse + product placement & how much summit sucks limp peen

UC: hold on… I’m gonna go BING what date exactly Eclipse Burger King hamburger wrappers come out and when exactly I can expect to see Edward’s face on my birth control pack

Too_Far_Gone: Yes- go BING all the merch that they are not putting out that they should be branding with Edward’s face. How about:

  • gold wrought-iron beds
  • pillows with extra feather stuffing
  • headboards designed to break down the middle at the slightest touch

EastFriend: I just want Twilight tampons. Blue ones, since Edward’s partial to that color. “Freesia-scented & guaranteed not to leak. ‘Cause our lives depend upon it.”

And don’t think some lame-ass teeny bopper hasn’t tried to invent bruise tattoos. You know…for authenticity’s sake. Ew.

UC: We should really get Bed Bath & Beyond to make a whole Twilight line. Of course there would be a purple line. And then gold brocade fabrics- drapes and a curtain to surround a four poster deep mahogany bed. Perhaps Gap could make a sleeveless button up shirt…And pair it with this season’s jorts on the mannequin next to a sign saying “Now you can have them both- Jacob on the bottom, Edward up top.”  We’re on to something here!

EastFriend: OMS–bed bath & beyond–The Twilight Linen Collection!! Brilliant! There would be, of course, the Isle Esme Collection & the Cottage Collection, which brides-to-be & cougars could purchase. And Too_Far_Gone’s idea of the gold shiz from Edward’s room…for the single ladies.

And then we must have the requisite wolfpack offering, complete with earth-toned sheets, denim duvets, & quilts with pine needles embroidered on them.

And then the Carlisle Collection–for those with higher standards & impeccable taste- 1000 thread count sheets, cashmere throws, silk pillows. (Just what the doctor ordered)

And I’m not sure how to package the Emmett & Rosalie collection- but I think Frederick’s of Hollywood could figure out how. ‘Member in Breaking Dawn when Edward tells Bella how difficult it was to be around those two when they were first together? I always took this to mean that Emmett & Rosalie were freaks on a leash. I’m talking vinyl sheets, baby oil, & a Cullen Crest-emblazoned Liberator, with optional wrist restraints & blindfold.

Now I can be embarrassed to PAY for the embarrassing crap I'm buying!

UC: Gosh.. it’s so expensive to keep my Twilight collection up to date with all the Burger King parifinalia, action figures from Toys R’ Us, books Stephenie keeps writing, Edward Cullen vibrators & Cullen Crested Liberators, plus gold brocade bedding & jorts & wolf tails and pencils and papers and notebooks & trapper keepers not to mention replicas of Bella’s 90s-era Seattle grunge-wear!!!! I’m going broke! Good thing I got one of these pre-paid bad boys for my birthday from Moon!

This sarcastic conversation brought to you by 3 sarcastic girls, kinda annoyed that our TV shows, book series & movies we love are being hijacked by promotions for water that’s not even that good, really bad fast food, PRE-PAID credit cards, children’s toys in Happy Meals and whatever they come up with next. And it also serves as proof that I came up with the idea, therefore I should get a commission, when BING cuts a deal with Summit. Cause you KNOW thats about to happen…

Gotta go take my Reneseme prenatal vitamins,
UnintenededChoice

What would make an awesome aka awful Twilight promotional product?

After the jump, hear all about our NEW site & enter to win something to celebrate!!!

Business Time: Moon & I are so excited that our new site design is finally up & running. We’re also no longer hosted by wordpress.com, so make sure to change your RSS feeds to letterstotwilight.com/feed and your bookmarks to letterstotwilight.com. As of today letterstotwilight.wordpress.com is no longer going to be updated! We have some of our old posts on this new site, and will slowly bring them all over. Oh- go check out LTR because she got a facelift too! FYI- your first few comments on the new site will probably be thrown into the “moderation” queue until we approve them. After that you shouldn’t be moderated anymore! Don’t freak!

Because this is a pretty big move, we’re 100% sure we will have issues. There will be problems. There is stuff that won’t work. We will break stuff. So, if something seems majorly wrong- please let us know! We’ll figure it out eventually.

Shop LTT_LTRIn the meantime, let’s give something away!!! All week long we’re going to be giving away a chance to win a t-shirt of your choice from our LTT_LTR store! All you have to do is leave a comment. You can comment multiple times or just once or once every day all week- whatever. We’ll pick the winner between here and LTR later this week! Hop over to our store & pick out what design you hope to win!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • http://twitter.com/Jayde17 Jayde

    Wow, I thought I was going crazy!
    I also always used LetterstoTwilight.com as the URL anyways and when I first came here tonight it was the mobile site . . . on my computer. LOL! Anywho! Loving the look! Tres fab.
    Product placements? Ew. If they’re subtle I can live with them. Completely unsubtle ones annoy the sh*t outta me, though!!

    • kitkat

      It’s totally Normal that on my browser all I have to type is “w” and LTT is the first to pop up, right? :)

  • Shleeeigh

    Ooooh, sexy new layout!

  • http://cantgoogleeverything.blogspot.com Rachel B

    Why are you taking Renesseme prenatal vitamins US? Hmmmm???? (just kiddin!!) ;-)

    So yeah, product placement- that Burger King bag in the Mike/Jacob movie scene is so amazingly obvious. It was the only thing I could see the the whole time they are talking! I even yelled it out in the theatre “burger king!” Which my neighbors did not enjoy.

    Cute new site girls! I love the new header!!! I am kissing up because I wanna win that tshirt!!! (kidding, I really do like it!) :-)

  • Vi

    the layout is very sexy – its edward sexy, it’s beige sexy.
    :D i kid, i kid
    seriously, very nice!

    • http://notanaddikt.blogspot.com Bella_NaA

      Say it, out loud… khakis!

      • snowwhitedrifted

        Yay, beige is for blogs… not pattz’s pants.

  • tuesdaymidnight

    It’s going to take me a little while to get used to this, but I love the new design!

    This post is full of so much win, but mentioning trapper keepers made my day.

    • http://cantgoogleeverything.blogspot.com Rachel B

      Notebooks are for notes, not for kissing!

  • http://howtodazzle.wordpress.com Saveyoursoul

    Wow girls, congrats to the new design! If you had added a little beige as well, Stephenie would be in heaven everytime she comes here! (You know she does!) ;-)

  • http://notanaddikt.blogspot.com Bella_NaA

    Gorgeous new design! Congrats! I know how much work it takes to get such a fab design up and running, because I watched Alice_NaA trying to overhaul our blog design for at least 6 months (we never got there…)

    Product placement, only works if it’s sublte. ‘You can google it’ was genius. Now imagine that line with bing in it… wrong. Just wrong. For all those born in the ’80 and before, Bing is unconditionally and irrevocably connected to Chandler. Period.

    Speaking of period, we invented Twilight pads
    long ago, and should obviously be paid a commission if they are ever brough to market.

    Wiii, a giveaway! Kudos on the subtle product placement, girls! I just ordered me a war of the wigs organic cotton t-shirt in wasabi (never knew that was a color, but hey, learn something new every day they say). Second on my wish list is they’re not bears, obvi!

  • TeamJacobEdward

    It’s so pretty! Yey! Good job gals!

    ps-Yes I changed my name too. I’m trying it on for size. I was inspired by the new site name to tweek mine. Plus my husband has tried a couple times to get out of me what “team” I am… (to which he’d only use the info as fuel to tease me with I’m positive) I always reply “I’m Team Jacob Edward, honey” (aka team him)… but mostly I just want to ber like UC & Moon.

    I might go back to JacobEdwardsWife it IS a big decision. ;)

    • lindsaylee

      oh my gosh, good thing I found you what with the name change and such!!

  • MsLiss

    oh wow hi and Congratulations! big time web site now eh? i think its gunna take me a little time to adjust to the new you.. ;-)

  • Edible Art ?

    Nice new site welcome !

    I saw the twilight credit cards how 2nd hand embarresing.

    I’d like to see twilight contact lenses – you know golden for good – red for bad – black for hungry – all in a box so you could choose at the start of each day what your gonna be !! they probabaly exist I’ve seen some really wierd stuff over the last year – Rob Pattinson earings anyone ?????

    • xylem(108 over here)

      Credit card! IKR… if someone handed me one of these for payment, my first question is going to be “are you sure your mom deposited money in that account?”.

      As for the site… I 2nd, 3rd (86th) what everyone has already said. Its way pretty and classy. It feels like a warm and flakey Twilight croissant with strawberry preserves. OK, so I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast, but my point remains, its Burberry gorgeous. My only criticism, if it can be called that, is perhaps the photograph. The fake lesbian handholding between KStew and Nikki is perhaps outdated. I could be wrong, but was it just me, or did it seem like anyone else like Robsten had a restraining order against Nikki? In case you missed her, she was the one in the floral dress that looked like it needed pruning. I could be wrong of course.

      • kitkat

        And I need me some Tay-Tay!

  • natashadushi

    Nice very nice new web!
    What about Twilight wigs, Twilight mushroom Ravioli….because it’s Bella’s favorite (pfffff) Twilight copstache because Charlie, Rob and Taylor have one. This is insane!

  • Sue G.

    Love the site! Nice job.

  • LissyLoo

    Hey!
    Love the new site! You girls are so clever!
    Loving the new pics to drool over…
    Xox

  • http://twitter.com/Alice_NaA Alice_NaA

    I think I’m gonna miss the old lay-out for a while, just because I’m sentimental. But everything looks really stunning!

    I didn’t know what BING was either. Rob and I could totally bond over that, on my new brocade bedding.

    • TeamSeth

      I’m gonna miss it too. I’m too much of a cancer for all these changes! Plus I can’t see the comment that I’m replying to while I reply… that’s awkward. ::Whimpers a little:: Deep breaths. It’ll be fine. In a week I won’t even remember the old site…

      I do think that credit card image is win though. Bewley AND Cuddley! Mmmmm

    • fayted17

      I like most of the new layout, but I’m not gonna lie, I kinda hate the graph paper background, something about the lines makes my eyes go twirly.

  • Brooke Lockart

    I had attempted to comment on my blackberry but apparently it does not want to cooperate nicely with this site. Thankfully I have purchased a month of 3G for my iPad since I can no longer visit the site on my work computer. I’m being sneaky!!!

    The site looks fantastic!! Crossing my fingers for it getting a little more mobile friendly.

    I yelled at Verizon for making their default search engine bing on the new blackberries. Now I have to use my book marked google page. An extra step is way too much effort.

    • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

      someone thumbs-you-down…. UM

      also- let’s discuss the issues with BB, b/c I have a plug in installed where it should work on iPhone/BB/Droid. And it worked fine on mine this am.

      • Brooke Lockart

        Maybe work is following my every move and gave me a thumbs din for my attempt at sneakiness? I’ll keep trying on my berry for the future.

  • http://www.lulaville.com Lula

    Dude…
    I want a Cullen Crest Liberator.

    p.s. Who do we need to screw so that we can get Bella BINGing “How to bang a vampire?” Rosenberg doesn’t have a clue in her head, so maybe we should appeal to Bill Condon? That’d be good programming. After all, if BING is good enough for Gossip Girl and Vampire Diaries…

    • http://twitter.com/hippietrixi hippietrixi

      Screw the Cullen Crest liberator. I want a Cullen on my liberator

  • Obava

    Happy New URL & Layout, ladies!

    Product placement is the bane of my existence, though I agree with Jayde- I will pretend they didn’t just do that if they pretend they didn’t just do that. I never even noticed the Burger King bag in New Moon (at the movie theater) until everyone started pointing it out.

    xo obava

  • MrsKowski

    Oh my!! I haven’t read the post yet, still gaga over the new site! Totally love it!!

    ok, now I’ll read :)

  • Sassysmart

    After the movie comes out I’m gonna need a detox. Too much!!!

    I like the new site. And I’m with Brookie need for it to be more mobile friendly.

    • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

      someone hates when you & B talk about mobile friendly.
      what are you using to view? email me if you don’t mind when you have a sec- wanna fix that!!

      • Brooke Lockart

        Uc, what’s up with your old school pic?

  • Candy

    I happen to like product placement. Then, I can continue to convince myself that I’m in a movie ALL the time . . . isn’t that the point?

    Don’t forget vampire jasmine, vanilla scents and the “earthy-woodsy” wolf scents. Candles, perfume, fabric spray . . . tons of possibilities!

    • blvr

      Oh, I already received an Edward New Moon candle made in China that smells like musty foot or maybe they were going for Edward’s attic hideway scent while he was pining for Bella in Rio. Either way, it smells heinous!

      Love the Edward/Jacob clothes “Now you can have them both- Jacob on the bottom, Edward up top.” Bwahahaha, dying here.

      Love the new site, ladies!

  • hepburn

    Love the new layout! :)

    I don’t really mind product placement if its subtle but the Virgin Atlantic trip, Burger King was so obvious in New Moon.

    I actually found it pretty hilar last night that Alex Meraz was pimping a Nikon camera on the red carpet. Guessing Bella’s gonna take some cheesy pics with her Nikon when she visits her mom or the wolf pack are gonna snap some pics for their Facebook account, which I’d imagine is only a matter of days before Summit allows Facebook product placement… you know, so Bella can retire her scrapbook and have a virtual photo album.

  • j9necessary

    Uh…Liberator Sex Furniture….interesting!?

    Need a few days to adjust to new site…mmmm pretty!

  • http://www.twitter.com/ScienceGeek91 Rob’s slow mo’ strut

    Wow, I almost thought I had entered the wrong place. Nice layout ladies. Like tuesday said, will take some time to get used to it. But new layout is always welcomed!

  • Chanel

    Gonna miss the old site! But Im happy if you guys are :) As long as we get our daily fix :D

  • Chanel

    WAIT!!!!!! I take that back! LOVING THE NEW SITE!!! My browser loaded a blue site that, well, looked like a forum for technical support… When I posted the comment I saw the real site!

    VERY NICE!!!

    • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

      haha… THAT’S not good!

    • https://twitter.com/snarkwithaspoon moaninmymouth

      yeah I got that too at first. I was like “are you sure?”

      • Chanel

        Haha! Nice to know I wasnt the only one! But seriously, the new site is really nice :) Rob just looks a bit like John Lennon in the pic hehehehehe

  • Anna

    Hmm, bing… In BD Bella googles j jenks or whatever the lawyer dudes name is that Alice gives her. Am sure they will sneak that into the script, they’ll have plenty of time for it seeig there won’t be any freaky vampire sex.

    • TeamSeth

      Oh, you’re right. Bing to Black Sad.

  • Sharpie

    Sassy new design!! Loves it!!

  • TeamJorts

    Ohhh this new site is pretty kick ass! I’m excited to navigate this bad boy and buy some LTT/LTR merchandise! Congrats ladies it looks awesome!

  • KinkyKiss

    Great new look!!
    I miss the old one
    But Ill get used to this one :)

  • SarahG

    Loving all the new stuff! The colors, layout, header…everything rocks!

    To talk about today’s letter, I absolutely HATE what is happening with our little “cult” book-to-movie obsession. A perfect example of this oversaturation is that my Twi-friends are no longer my Twi-friends. I was so depressed when I found this out this weekend, I had to have a vent sesh with the hubby! They both just said they were so “over” Twilight to the point that we are only going to the midnight premiere now because it’s “tradition.” HELP! What do I do? I loved being able to share this with my girls and, even though the hubs is being so amazingly supportive about becoming my new Twi-friend, I want this to be my “girls” thing, ya know? Oh Moon and UC, I feel a letter from me coming on!!

    • Obava

      SarahG- where do you live? Maybe some of us are your future twi-friends!

      • SarahG

        I seriously doubt it. No one wants to live where I live. I’m in Montgomery, Alabama. Where are you?

        • KittTatt

          Shutupinyourface! I’m in Montgomery!

          • Michelle

            Awww sweet! You’ve found a new Twi-Friend already!

  • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

    I updated the post to say that if you’re commenting for the first time, most likely you’ll go into moderation a time or two- after I approve you, you won’t be moderated again!

    ALSO… has your avatar disappeared? that must mean you ‘signed in’ with a different email address then the one you used to get a wordpress.com account or gravatar.com account. Use that same account & your avi WILL appear.

    WHY mine is a different picture, I have no idea…!

  • http://att.net Darkbook108

    I love the new layout of your site!!! Someone needs to tell Summit to stop (with the new Edward megaphone, to have the voice of a vampire)!!!

  • fangbanger

    Fancy site!

    Product placement makes my life. How else would I know what tampons a vampire prefers?

  • http://www.twitter.com/poochi_mama poochi_mama

    Love the new site, ladies!
    Maybe there should be a Bella safety-knife collection, a Charlie ‘stache trimmer kit, and Chevy should re-release the ’54 (or whatever) truck model, complete with rust spots, side-panel dent, and Edward-scented air freshener. But that’s just my opinion….

  • Pinky

    Ya’ll know I went to the old site and called you girls everything, but a child of God because there wasn’t an updated post at 10:00 AM? My bad, hahahahahaha…

    Love the new site! And I really want a t-shirt, so prepare to be stalked for the rest of the day.

  • http://www.twitter.com/lissashoff robsten4life

    Oohh love the new look!!!

    Hate all the product placement….. especially the BING… “GOOGLE THAT SHIT”

  • amynkansas

    Father’s Day is coming up and wouldn’t some nice Charlie Swan Fishing Bait and Tackle be a nice gift, along with a Harry Clearwater 100 ways to prepare fish cookbook (free paper bags included) for easy gift giving!

    • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

      YES!

    • http://twitter.com/hippietrixi trixi

      Can we get some Charlie Swan mustache kits also?

      • robzanne

        or Mike Newton branded Marshmallows!

        • http://twitter.com/hippietrixi hippietrixi

          Michael Newton spray tans.

  • http://www.twitter.com/KatieShh Katie S
    • http://www.twitter.com/moonjenn Moonjenn

      Oooh! I hope they sparkle! You can put glitter in latex, right? :)

    • lilmisscan’tbewrong

      Lovely new digs, ladies! Alittle sophistocated, yet not tweed-serious.

      As to the product placement, etc., I’ve just decided to suffer through it. Someday all this hype/craziness will die down, and we’ll all be missing those days when we could buy Twi-crap in every corner store. Okay, no we won’t! But I will miss the hype a little!

      • lilmisscan’tbewrong

        Oops! Sorry, that wasn’t supposed to be a reply, just a regular comment. Musta got a little disoriented by all the new prettiness!

  • Freya

    Love the new site, ladies! It was nice to roll out of my wrought-iron, gold-duveted bed, come to my computer, and BING! my new Letters to Twilight. Love me some East Friend and Too_Far_Gone.

    • http://www.lulaville.com Lula

      Oh, Frey…I meant to say that, too. I love me some UC and Too_Far_Gone and EastFriend. <—–Wonder if she's on Twitter?

  • KrisM

    Love the new site….it looks awesome!!

    Now, where can you get one of those Cullen crest Liberators??? ;)

    • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

      in the LTT_LTR store!

      • http://www.lulaville.com Lula

        Are y’all offering a standard bronze-colored Liberator, or can we get a blue silk one? OR…the honeymoon Liberator…covered in scraps of black lace.

  • trixi

    Um, UC if you are able to get Edward on your birth control packet, then can I have him on my Nuvaring?

    • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

      yes.

    • snowwhitedrifted

      Then would it be a Ring of the Nibelung?

  • Kendall

    I’m not a huge fan of the cross marketing, but it can be done tastefully – Alice in Wonderland OPI nail polish anyone?!

    Unfortunately Summit has jumped the shark, jumped it and landed in the fryer at Burger King. There is no turning back now.

    Next thing we know Dockers will have a new line, the Twilight Saga line, showcasing all their new khakis (skirts and pants) and the image will be of our boy Edward running in the forest from New Moon.

    PS – love the new site!

    • TeamSeth

      True. I miss the old days when Gap was the unofficial/unintentional sponsor of all things Twi.

  • Carolina

    Hi everyone!!! love your new home!!! contratulations!!! i went snooping around all over it and everything is great!!! congrats again!!

  • http://twitter.com/J9_NYC J-9

    Duuudes you’re like big time now! Love the new site.

  • mariemarie

    I have an aversion to change, but, I GUESS this site is AWESOME.

    Whenever I see people wearing Twilight related merch I cringe with second-hand embarassment. I’m sorry, but Twilight t-shirts on anyone over 15 is JUST NOT RIGHT.

    • Obava

      Haha too bad- Imma wear my glow-in-the-dark Twilight shirt anyway!!

      • TeamSeth

        They make those?! If all the LTTers wear glow-in-the-dark, we can find each other at the midnight showings and sit in the same row. (stopping from making “we’ll light up the place” lame joke)

  • VickyB

    Wow!!! I go away for a while and the whole place gets made over. I approve. You girls rock. It’s only natural that my new life should also have a new look ;)

  • robzanne

    loving our new home , i feel like we’ve moved onto the Res’, v earthy, all we need is the earth tone sheets and the jort inspired duvet – is well done girls

  • http://twitter.com/hippietrixi hippietrixi

    You forgot the Charlie Swan Collection. You know complete with flannel sheets and a fish print comforter.

  • Robjunkie

    Aaww, you all growed up now.

    Love the new look of both sites. Great job.

  • lapushbaby

    WOW!! I mean WOW!!! My world is so rocked! This looks amazing. And a dot-com! You ladies are all big-time–guess you are totally in for the long haul, now. Whew, what a relief.

    Love you, love the site.

    :-)
    lpb

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