That Bree book

Read me.. Or else I'll turn creepier

Dear Stephenie,

I feel really weird writing you about That Bree book since I’m going to be talking to you about it in person next week (AH) By the way, did you just hear that? That was the sound of thousands of LTT readers remembering “That Bree book” came out this weekend. Pretend you didn’t hear that and that all of them were at their favorite book store at the butt crack of dawn Saturday morning.

Anyway, my overall observation about That Bree book (I’ll be honest, I have no idea what the real title is and I totally don’t feel like looking it up at this current moment) is that all fans of Twilight should read it. When talking to a friend who hasn’t read it, she said:

Friend: UC, I’m not one of your blog readers, so don’t be diplomatic with me. Should I really read it?

to which I responded

UC: Yes! I mean it. You’re a Twilight fan & it’s an entertaining read. Do it.

I’m not getting paid to say that. Unless you plan to hand me a check when I see you next week (AH). By the way, when I told my dad aka boss that I was skipping town for 2 days just one week before leaving for a week to go to LA for Eclipse craziness he said, “Well, honey, that sounds like a great opportunity. Are they paying you?” To which I laughed. I mean, hello?!! I’d pay YOU to interview you (wait- maybe not. Don’t take me seriously and ask for a check when I see you next week (AH)) So I politely said, “No- the opportunity to meet a hero is enough payment.” And he responded, “You should call them back & say you’ll only do that if they give you $100,000.” He was serious.

Sigh.. remember when I wasn't a vampire and was just a regular, boring girl?

Anyway, your fans SHOULD read That Bree book because it’s great to read something new from you after such a long time. Plus it’s an easy read. I blew through it in 2 sittings- took me 3 hours tops. Not to mention the introduction you include is just win. It really made me excited to meet you. Like, you actually care still. And that’s super refreshing after the rumors & gossip we’ve heard surrounding Eclipse. We thought Kristen was the only one left who cared so much.

Without giving anything away (though there’s not much to give away- Bree dies, guys) here are some of my thoughts on the book.

  • It feels so young. Maybe that’s your ability to be in the shoes of a 15 year old & think and write as she would, but Twilight never felt this young. In fact it wasn’t until I was done the saga that I even knew it was a Young Adult series. (Finding the books on the shelf next to The Goosebumps Series wasn’t a dead giveaway to me, apparently) Or maybe it’s the lack of Edward as that character we want so badly we don’t care if an 8 year old made him up.
  • Diego, a vampire friendly with Bree, who prefers the flavor of the humans living south of the border (that is, until he comes across Tequila Tomas in Forks) said “Let’s DO THIS” on page 56! Was that borrowed from Mel Mel Rosenberg? Or was that a shout out to us LTTers? Either way, High-five for that brilliant line!
  • Once, somewhere on a page I forgot to save, you said “organism.” It took me 3 reads through the sentence before I realized Bree was not, in fact, having an orgasm. Did you put that in there to remind us that we’ve been reading too much fanfic in your writing absence?
  • Um, Fred? Really? A vampire named Fred? And then there’s Diego!? Who are THEY named after? Did you and Nacho get a fight one night & to get back at him you named him after your first two boyfriends at BYU? Were all the good vampire names taken? PLUS the characters were teenage runaways in their human days. Last time I was on the streets and a Philadelphia flash mob passed me by, I didn’t hear any 16 year olds yelling for “Fred” to come help them snatch a pocket book from a Granny. Just sayin.’ “Spencer” may have been a better choice for the American while “Jose” is always a safe spanish choice.
  • Hey! I'm Ed- I mean Fred

    Gah- I miss the Cullens. There I was, just enjoying a little story about a vampire I forgot existed and BAM- suddenly the Cullens appear! I must’ve had the biggest, goofiest smile on my face. The gang was all back together again! There was Carlisle, Alice, Jasper with all his scars and the Red Head- wait what? The RED HEAD? I know that Edward is described as having reddish-brown hair by Bella, but Bree kept calling Edward THE RED HEAD. I didn’t know who she meant until the ending when Bree thought,

    “Little did the Cullens know, I had a vampire super power of my own. I knew the future- the WHOLE future- even more than Alice. If they had saved me from the Volturi, I can promise you I would’ve helped Alice pack Bella’s & the RED HEAD’s honeymoon bags- and I would’ve thrown in PLENTY of condoms with hand-drawn instructions from Carlisle. But, oh well, they killed me.”

    Okay that didn’t happen, but it wasn’t until Edward spoke to Bella that I realized it was him. I know we all have our own picture of Edward in our minds (Rob) plus my first kiss, first boyfriend and first (and only) husband were all red-heads, but Edward? Described as a RED HEAD? I felt that description was more fitting for a vampire named Fred…

So… do I buy the whole “I’ve been thinking about Bree’s story ever since I wrote Eclipse & wanted to share it with all my devoted fans” story? No (but most people will, don’t worry!) And I still maintain that you were pressured by your publishing company to put out something new. Not to mention your friends must be nagging you ever other day to finish something about their favorite characters- I don’t blame you wanting to get them ALL off your back. And for the devoted Twilight fan, That Bree Story is a quick, easy fun read that will make any true fan crack a big ol’ Cullen Smile once the Cullens appear! I’ll admit- I kinda wish you hadn’t killed off Bree too. It would’ve been intresting to see her adapt to the vegetarian lifestyle. Not to mention maybe she could have tracked down her friend “Fred” and we’d have an excuse to make a lot of “Fredward” jokes.

R.I.P. Bree,
UnintendedChoice

Haven’t read the book yet but my enthralling review really makes you want to get to know “Fred?” You can read it online here!

After the jump, answer some questions to see where we all stand with Bree!

So…. did you buy it? did you read it? do you love it? have no interest? Let us know!

Don’t forget all week just by commenting you’ll be entered to win a tshirt from out LTT_LTR store! The winner will be chosen randomly at the end of the week!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • Carrie Jo

    I have to say that the thing I am continually impressed with is that every time I read a non-Bella-narrated book by Stephenie, I am impressed with how well she steps into the shoes of a new character. She may not be headed toward literary status anytime soon, but she has a great handle on character development.

    I LOVED that Bree wasn’t as stupid as she seemed at the end of Eclipse and (don’t kill me here) that the Cullens she interacted with most were the ones I feel like I know the least.

    I don’t know that I am going to read Bree’s book over and over again the way I have the Twilight quartet and Midnight Sun, but I am sure that I’ll buy it once it comes out in paperback and read it once in a while.

    And just out of curiosity, does anyone else wonder about the super-intense jealousy Jane has for Bella and Alice? I know she wants to be the “it” girl of the Volturi (and maybe that’s enough)…but do you ever speculate if there’s some sick adopted-father-figure-yet-twisted-romantic thing going on with her towards Aro? Would she really be THAT jealous if just Chelsea’s powers were working on her? (Maybe it’s just me…but Bree’s take on Jane got me wondering).

    • Quincy

      I have just finished the Bree book (I bought it). I agree, not something that I would read again and again (and again and again…)but I would like to have the oppotunity to follow up with some of these “new” characters. Like Fred. Yes, Fred. He’s interesting. Will he hook up with the Cullens at some point? Maybe become one of the other “families”? Enquiring minds want to know! So although I agree this was a publishing push for something (anything!) to keep Stephanie fresh and out front, it worked for me.

  • raven

    I just started it today. And by started it, I mean I read the introduction and then the aknowlegements to see if there was some kind of “Midnight Sun is on it’s way bitches!” type anouncemnet. There wasn’t. I stopped reading. I will though, after I read my fan fic updates. The epi is up for the Training. A girl has her priorities.

  • embarrassedblogger

    just finished that bree book. did anyone else imagine fred as a fat, sweaty, stinky man surrounded by flies when she was talking about repulsive he was? i want those few hours back.

    • aleisha

      Thank you! I was beginning to think that no one else would admit to not liking it for fear of pissing off SM so much that she would refuse to release the rest of Midnight Sun.

      And yes, totally imagined Fred as super fat.

      • embarrassedblogger

        i’m glad i’m not alone! hahaha

        • Quincy

          Totally did!! lol Nicely done as WE were all as replused as the characters.

    • Beth

      YES! I think I imagined him (at first) kind of like Eddie from True Blood.

      • embarrassedblogger

        YES! exactly!!!!! hahahha!

        • Beth

          Are you a True Blood watcher? Season 3 starts on Sunday…CAN’T WAIT!!!

  • Beth

    I could have forgiven “redhead” had Bree only thought it once and then moved on to “bronze” or even “auburn”. But there it was, again and AGAIN!

    I echo all the comments about wondering how much of this was written to coincide with the movie and how much she actually had sitting around from the Eclipse book. Sorry, Steph…still heart you. And I liked the book. Too short, but a decent 2 hour read during Bones commercials.

    And *nodding in agreement to thinking “organism” was “orgasm”*. That MUST be totally normal.

  • operarose

    - I <3 you for making me feel so normal because I totally read "orgasm" too – and I don't even read fan fic! And the "Let's Do This" was totally a shout-out to LTT, I'm positive ;)

    - It did feel younger than the rest of the series. Which was appropriate for the character, I suppose.

    - Fred reminded me of "Fred Rogers". Although I liked his character and wonder what happened to him?

    - I found myself really liking Bree (to my surprise, since I was so indifferent to her in Eclipse) and it was sad she had to die.

    - I read it online. I was glad I didn't buy it, since unlike the rest of the series I don't think I'd reread it. I was, however, glad to have read it. It captured 100% of my interest for the two hours I was reading. I realized for the first time since Breaking Dawn that I really want to read more in this series/world. I really hope Stephenie revisits Forks sometime (soon). Stephenie really needs to ignore the critics and the crazies because there are plenty of us out there who appreciate her storytelling abilities and are craving more!

    *spoiler below*
    What I loved most of all were the Cullens on the last few pages. Aside from being called "the redhead" I absolutely, irrevocably fell in love with Edward again. Freaking movies (and pretty much all of Breaking Dawn) making me go all Team Jacob… but when Bree connected with him and he was so, so kind to her it just broke my heart. I leaped back over to the "Team Edward" side of the fence for the first time since Breaking Dawn and the movies. Thanks Stephenie for helping me fall in love with Edward again. Now I may consider buying the Eddie-Mannilow. (joking.)

  • TeamSeth

    I really hope her next “i’m putting off midnight sun so that I can bank on it way later when all this craze is almost over” novella is on either Aro’s turning or the kickass romania dudes!

  • operarose

    Oh no! I just wrote out a super long reply and I think it was lost???!!!! Fred must have eaten it.

    Well in a nutshell I enjoyed it, but I didn’t buy it (and don’t think I would because I don’t think I’d reread this one unlike the rest of the series.) Stephenie captured my interest for the 2 hours I was reading.

    *spoiler*
    I especially loved Edward. For the first time since Breaking Dawn I felt myself jump back to the “Team Edward” side of the fence. The freaking movies (and his bizarre behavior in Breaking Dawn) made me go all Team Jacob. But when reading his conversation with Bree the last few pages my heart broke… he was so sweet to her.

    It also made me realize how much I miss the world of Forks. Stephenie has powerful storytelling abilities and I hope that we get some newer (and fresher) material from her soon.

    • operarose

      Oops, I now see my comment wasn’t lost, it just didn’t show up immediately. Perhaps too verbose?!

      Sorry about the double-posting!

  • http://isuckatbloggingbuticanbite.blogspot.com/ Janetrigs

    I often only listen to you and that Moon girl, because clearly I value your opinion….so now I know what to do about that Bree book. Thanks!
    *NOT saracasm

    PS I hate you
    *maybe sarcasm

  • TeamJorts

    I don’t understand the need for this book, it’s like yesterday’s post about unknown Twilight Saga actors no one cares about. But I’ll read it cause I’m a good Twilight fan and if UC says it’s an okay read I’ll take a chance.

  • Just me

    Multi-letter comment (some spoilers)

    Dear Walmart
    OK, if you really plan on rolling out these “Twilight Saga Shops” in an attempt to be all down with the kids and hot topic-y then you really need to get with the program. I went to my local friendly Walmart on Sunday morning to be told that new books only EVER come out on Tuesday.
    I even shamed myself by showing you the breetanner.com website on my iphone that clearly stated a June 5th date and your employee merely gave me a sympathetic look for trying to buy a YA book at the age of 34.
    Just me xx

    Dear Stephenie
    Cheeseburger of Pain – really? Really
    Name of the vamps? Where on earth did you get them? Heather? Kristie? Kevin? Were you watching reruns of The Batchelorette when writing this little gem?
    Freaky Fred?? Really?!?!?! YA is no reason to come up with characters that belong in the Garbage Pail Kids trading cards

    Once you finish midnight sun may I propose some other novellas we’d like to see

    “The Immortalization of Siobhan”
    Siobhan is an exhausted housemaid with 13 wee kids and a feckin’ useless laborer husband. She’s still in great shape and Master Liam from the great house takes a shine to her. One day she enters his chamber to empty his bathwater but she’s too early and sees his sparklepeen….”

    “J.Jenks – an autobiography”
    A failed bar exam, a wife that leaves for a real lawyer, the slippery slope into forging documents for the undead.

    Just me xx

    • TeamSeth

      “J.Jenks – an autobiography”
      A failed bar exam, a wife that leaves for a real lawyer, the slippery slope into forging documents for the undead.

      Uh-Mazing!

    • The Old One

      Oh, I’m so down with the J. Jenks autobiography. That, along with someone else’s suggestion that his part in Breaking Dawn be played by Les Grossman, just made my day!

    • Beth

      Oh, MAN!!! Cheeseburger of pain!!! No offense to our esteemed LTT authors, but how could you have left that out?! I was so confused until a few paragraphs later…and even then, after knowing what was behind it, I couldn’t make any excuses for it. Wow. SM writing at its absolute most WTF.

      • operarose

        I’m hoping the LTT store adds a “Cheeseburger of Pain” tshirt soon!

        • Beth

          *secretly hoping that, too* SHHHHHH!!!!

        • Beth

          It’s like the anti-Jimmy Buffett!

  • roslynstephanieselene

    Again…I WANT and LTR/LTT shirt!
    Haven’t read That Bree Book yet…I don’t know when I will cause…I don’t really care too much about it. BUUUUT maybe I’ll read it quickly as soon as I finish Bel-Ami and that one book(something something cafe?) Rob recommended on the Oprah show. But Fred has me intrigued. =)

  • Michelle

    I have to say I actually quite liked the book, and I totally agree with the organism thing. I’ve been hearing about organisms all week in science and yet I still read it as orgasm. *shakes head*

    I want to know how the hale Riley knew about the ninja thing cause he was such a liar about Diego. My and I both also found this sentence, child, I won’t hurt you. Or something to that affect, very creepy uncle rob though it was said by Carlisle.

  • eatmyjorts

    I bought it today (half-price!) from two lovely ladies wearing T-shirts that had ‘The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner’ on. T-shirts now make me think of LTV/LTR (not a typo, you’ll get it if they have the cojones to print my letter…I digress). My teeny brain made a small connection…

    And all I’ve been able to think since then is that Steph wrote a book called ‘The Short Second Life of Bree J Tanner & The Full House’.

  • Midnight_Cyn

    JODIE JUST FILLED ME ON THIS BREE PERSON…ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? NOT THAT I MIND ANY BOOK FROM MY HERO SM BUT SERIOUSLY…DO I HAVE TO SAY IT….MIDNIGHT SUN??? PLEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEE! :)

  • Steph

    Just finished. Ohhh, so that explains it…

  • twiprof

    my copy arrived yesterday in the mail. I can’t wait to find the time to curl up to read it. If Stephenie wants to write about every minor character in her twilght world, I will read every bit, just to stay immersed.
    I like Bree with apples and carrots….

  • http://www.twitter.com/moonjenn Moonjenn

    Honestly and truly, the “redhead” thing didn’t bother me at all. Did anyone ever say Edward’s NAME while Bree was around? THAT’S why she called him redhead. And she was so scared shitless/freaked the hell out when she saw him, she didn’t take the time to think of a more descriptive word than red. Didn’t bother me. However, the use of ‘her’ all the time did. I wish Steph had mixed it up a little – used something different every now and then.

    I heart Fred. More than Diego. Diego was BO-RING and all I could think of was that preschool kids’ cartoon. The Cullens part was a little boring for me. I’ve read it before. Bree just recounted the whole scene. Blah. And I kinda felt like Steph was too ‘explanatory’ I guess is the word. I don’t need a reason for why every little thing happened, I DID read the original series and I doubt anyone who didn’t would read Bree.

    All in all though, I liked it. A new perspective & more goodness from the Forks world.

    BTW, what was up with the ‘gingerbread house’ house? Was that weird to anyone else?

    • lindsaylee

      I didn’t understand the whole newborn living situation at all… The house was crumbled… why?
      Im with you, a bit strange

  • Midnight_Cyn

    WELL GUYS, ITS THAT TIME, I HAVE TO SIGN OFF FOR NOW…(EDDIE TISSUE PLEASE)…I WILL BE BACK AS SOON AS I CAN, DON’T WANT ANY OF YOU TO GET OUT OF HAND IF I AM GONE TO LONG ;)
    SHOULD ANY OF YOU WANT TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME, YOU CAN TOUCH BASE WITH UC AND SHE WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO!
    (THANK YOU UC..XOXO)
    WITH MUCH LOVE TO ALL… :)
    XOXXOX

  • lindsaylee

    I bought it and because my summer reading stack has surprisingly diminished, I read it.

    I actually liked it. I agree with UC, it was a little childish, she was catering to her original audience, not the people that keep her in business (ie, the ones actually buying the books) I did get angry in some parts – not gonna give it away, but it lit a little fire under me and i was thankful for “the red-heads” special talent.

    It was a quick read, I sat in a bath and read the whole thing in one setting and enjoyed it. however, woulda much rather been reading about the “redhead.”

  • Jessica

    I got what she was saying with the red-head thing… He was always described as reddish-brown in the books. I got the Diego name thing, not the Fred name thing though and it made me wish she hadn’t died. I did love hearing this story from a different perspective (Another reason Midnight Sun HAS to be finished)

  • Beth

    Oh…and btw…I voted that I read it online. That, I did. And the VERY next day I got a mysterious box in the mail from Amazon. What the hell did I order? Yeah, apparently being a bit tipsy and having an Amazon pre-order waving itself in front of you (carrot meets donkey) months ago….not a good mix.

    Ok, so I would have bought it, anyway. It’s not like we can download it and she IS giving a portion away to a good charity.

    • Beth

      My signature spider monkey (thought I haven’t *head hanging in shame* posted regularly in several months) doesn’t seem to be showing up very well on this new site. Maybe that’s a sign to change my icon. :D

  • cedvanhalen

    Gah! I still can’t believe you guys are interviewing THE Stephenie Meyer next week. So excited for you all.

    And about that Bree book…I have it pulled up on my computer. Now the next step is to start reading it. Maybe I’ll get to that this week sometime….or next week…

  • Batty_old_pug_lady

    Wow! Just read Bree’s book, it was really really good! Shame good old Fred didn’t come up in Eclipse or Breaking Dawn though. Ahh well, its well worth a read guys!

  • raven

    I’m almost finshed reading it now. I just wanted to comment on something that popped into my head when I was reading the story. I’m kinda wondering if maybe SM’s inspiration for Fred wasn’t a certain lovely actor that we are all rather fond of around here.

    Someone who is otherwise attractive (blond, curly hair? spectacular smile?). Who tries to repel people by keeping them at a distance ( by making jokes about their poor hygene, intentionally wearing clothes that are holey, not buttoned correctly and mended as if they couldn’t possibly afford to buy new ones). Who would rather sit and read a book than join the fray (nothing to do on a Saturday night?). Who is otherwise shy, but fiercely loyal to those they trust…

    Who said there wasn’t enough Edward in this book.

  • http://www.twitter.com/KatOfDiamonds KatOfDiamonds

    I can’t vote… I plan on borrowing it because I be to broke to spend my money on it. *shrugs*

  • JustGoWithIt

    I had my husband go buy the book, which he ended up not getting. Quote “who knew buying a book could be more embarrassing than buying tampons”. Rather than just letting him buy it, the sales person mentioned that there was a special deal, and he should go get another teen title for his daughter to get 50% off Bree. He emailed me. I considered asking him to get “Twilight”, since I never owned that one and would probably re-read. But in the end I decided that was too embarrassing, and just read it online. I also re-read Eclipse along with, fun. No complaints.

  • JustGoWithIt

    I asked my husband to go buy it for me while he was downtown for work. Quote “Who knew buying a book could be more embarrassing than buying tampons”. At checkout the sales person mentioned that it would be 50% off if he picked up “another teen title for your teenager”. He emailed me at home, and I decided to just read it online then. I really would have gotten “Twilight” since I never actually owned that one, but too embarrassed to say so.

    I re-read Eclipse at the same time as reading Bree, no complaints!

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