Twilight & Religion

Dear Twilosophy Class,

Moon & I have made enough DC Talk references & basically figured out a way to text-represent the motions to “Lord I lift your name on High” that you must have figured out by now that we have a Christian background. It’s true- we were brought up in Christian homes which immediately makes sense to a bunch of you, confuses another group of you and turns the rest of you off.

We make Twilight-related Christian jokes sometimes that we know only those who can relate will get. Which is a shame b/c they are REALLY REALLY FUNNY.

Anyway, I got this t-shirt from my Bro-in-law who once brought my husband a t-shirt back from an abstinence conference that said “Lights, Camera, NO ACTION” with a director’s chair on the front. And after laughing hysterically and deciding which activity at church I’d wear it to, I sighed and wondered why religion had to be brought into everything. Can’t I just enjoy a book about vampires without someone making it into a Jesus-eternity reference? Apparently not. Please enjoy my t-shirt, found in the bargain bin at a Christian bookstore:

"What would people think if they hear that I'm a Twilight Freak" (and yes, I am wearing jorts)

Yep. That says “Jesus is THE LIGHT of the world” in the Twilight font and “because of Him You can Live Forever.” What!? It’s not because of Edward biting me than putting a syringe filled with venom into my heart that I can live forever!? I don’t care WHAT your religious beliefs are, any religious group using Twilight to get “Down with the kids” is just as bad as Burger King Edward crowns, Twilight maxi-pads & Volturi credit cards.

Why does this shirt exist? Is it because an pastor’s kid got a little too obsessed with Edward that she started thinking about HIM during nightly prayer? And then her dad, the pastor, called up his old roommate from seminary who runs a “ministry” selling Christian pop-culture t-shirts? Or was it the spurred on by the Pastor’s WIFE who brought vampire cupcakes to the Sunday afternoon potluck for new church members? And later that night she suddenly wanted to spice up their 23 year routine “missionary position” with a little biting of the neck and headboard banging? (*Waving hi to my favorite Pastor’s wife who frequents LTT!*)

There’s a site I go to when I feel like getting mad at the super conservative elements of my upbringing that I won’t dignify with a link because it doesn’t deserve it, but in their review of Twilight they pointed out the negative elements including:

Buttcrack-Santa NEGATIVE? Not-uh. You did NOT go there. That’s enough to make me renounce my faith RIGHT there.

Mormons, a video & a quote you DON’T want to miss, after the jump!

Almost every time the media talks about Stephenie Meyer & the Twilight series, they mention her Mormon faith. Why? I had NO idea Stephenie was Mormon when I first read the series. Sure- Edward & Bella don’t get it on until they are married, but I just assumed they were her values & plus- weren’t the books for kids? Her sons are approaching the teenage years. She didn’t want to give any girls any good ideas to try out on the her & Nacho’s offspring! If I ever have kids, I’m locking them up from ages 11-28. I don’t know about you.

Before I met a bunch of amazing Mormon gals from writing these blogs, I didn’t know ANYTHING about Mormonism- and there is nothing that strikes me as Mormon about Stephenie’s books. So why does the media ALWAYS mention it? Stephenie wrote from her experience. She’s a Mormon. So what? She and Nacho waited until THEIR Isle Esme (Sandals Jamaica ’97 baby!) to get it on. I assume. I’m going to ask her next week (no I’m not) Just like I write from my experience & occasionally drop in an Avalon joke that only other Christians might catch (I can’t live a day without…… LTT)

Speaking of Mormons, this was sent to us LONG ago from Mormon-LTT Forum Mod who we love lots, Emmeloowhoo. You will die. I did:

I thought I had it all figured out- the whole Twilight & religion thing. Twilight isn’t meant to say anything about religion- Mormonism or otherwise. It’s a book about a girl who meets a boy who happens to be a vampire. They fall in love. They eventually get it on & made a demon child. What else is there to get?

But I was wrong, and when we received this email last week, I felt convicted:

Dear Sirs: I read the first book because I wanted to see what the youngsters were on about. I have seen the movies as well, as I want to be educated. I will not waste my dollars any more. I am saddened at Bella’s eagerness to give up her eternal salvation by converting to being a Vampire, all in the name of love. This message is dire to the population of our youth. I wrote Miss Meyer with the same above message in the hopes that she will reflect and change them message in the unwritten ending of the Twilight Saga. I also remember the quote: “Evil wins when good men say nothing.” youth. I am writing this to Miss Meyer in the hopes that she will reflect and change the message in the unwritten ending of the Twilight Saga. I also remember the quote: “Evil wins when good men say nothing.” Signed Donna Z Cetsh*

I have also written the following message under separate cover:

Subject: The Consumption of Human Blood and Flesh

I want the world to know how I feel: Quote: “I am worried about the complacency of the world about the consumption of human blood and flesh being taught through the Saga “Twilight” because it is a gross abomination to God who forbids it. It would appear to me that Bella, Edward, Jacob or Stephanie Meyer do not have a testimony of God”. Signed: Donna Z Cetsh*

What more can I say? God forbids Twilight….

UnintendedChoice

No he doesn’t. That woman is CRAY-CRAY to the MAX.

*is not her real name but is her real letter

But what do you think? Do you think Steph’s writing is a secret ploy to make everyone who isn’t a Mormon? Or does the media just try to start something? What about YOUR religion? Do they talk about Twilight like mine does? Do you want to buy my shirt? I’ll sell it to you for $100.00 .

Business Time: Comment today! It’s the last day to be entered to win a tshirt from our LTT_LTR store!

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  • http://www.twitter.com/TwihardBrynn B Jackson

    A few things…

    First, DC Talk is awesome. I’m very proud of you for maintaining a Christian faith in this society. Good on ya’!

    Secondly, that Donna lady is a fruitcake extremist. THAT is enough to renounce it, but the Christian Profranity Rating thing is just stupid. You can’t shelter ANYONE that much and expect a normal child. They’ll hear worse than that in school without being able to get away from it. Grow up.

    Twilight Maxi Pads? Someone please stop the insanity. That’s just a creepy blood reference. Ew.

    I doubt SM was writing a Mormon book. You’re right. This does not reek of Mormonism. I went through the classes after finding out that she’s Mormon. My neighbor at the time is, so it was an easy education. Twilight is ZILCH about a particular religion and more about having upstanding values.

    And again to the crazy lady, it’s not about ripping and tearing and eating someone’s flesh. Get a grip. Did she read/watch the part where the Cullens REFUSE to do that because they realize how vile it is? Good grief.

    The end for now. :)

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