Oh Twilight Virgins.. How I’ve missed thee..

Twilight VirginsDear Twilight sluts,

I had a conversation recently with an old pal who is a TWILIGHT VIRGIN!!! It’s been so long since I popped MY cherry & popped the cherries of everyone close to me that it was refreshing to talk with a virgin again. And SHE brought it up! We got started by talking about our weekend plans & I mentioned I would be asking a question to a vampire at the moviefone event

So many questions

Perdy: So ur going to talk to Edward and Jacob and the girl too?

UC: hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha…oh i love Twilight virgins…which you are!!

Perdy: Ps I think I would be on team Jacob because I can’t deny the goodness of him without a shirt

UC: no- they won’t be there- they don’t do events like this.. it’s another vampire & a wolf

Perdy: And my brother in law’s name is Jacob so I have to consider that too

UC: haha… If you read the books, you’d be Team Edward!! Some end up Team Jacob.. but… not most!

Perdy: Like will Dakota Fanning be there? I like her a lot.

UC: Um not she WON’T be there either!

Perdy: No no I’m pretty sure its Team Jacob I’m on. But I maybe will read the books. Maybe I’m different teams on the book and movie. And there is no doubt I’m a TV “Twilight Virgin” I’ve only seen the first two movies, once each….And sometimes I have to ask my husband questions during the movie and he gets annoyed

UC: What questions do you have?

Perdy: Oh gosh. I don’t even remember….. Probably stupid questions like – vampires can’t live in the light, right?

UC: Twilight vamps can- except they SPARKLE- like diamonds

Perdy: And “I thought the vampires and werewolf’s killed each other?”. “Are the vampires and wolves friends?”And “why don’t the werewolves like vampires”

UC: no- the wolves EXIST to kill vampires

Perdy: And “why does she have those attacks”

UC: they only turn into wolves when vampires are around! What attacks? Ohh!? You mean in new moon? Haha! (Her sleep number bed was on the wrong number!) No- She loved Edward! And he left!

Perdy: And “why doesn’t he want to bite her”

UC: Edward? He does Her blood is like a drug to him. Wow. I’m SO lame.

Perdy: See I told you they were dumb questions – this is why my hubby gets annoyed

UC: And I just quoted twilight. They’re not lame questions. They’re great!

Perdy: “Why isn’t her father more involved in her life” “Where is her mother?”

UC: Florida- married to Phil. And Charlie loves her- but he’s been alone all this time., and he just really loves to fish

Perdy: “Why can’t she make more friends at school”

UC: in the book she’s SUPER popular- it’s weird. because she wasn’t popular in AZ. but she’s a loner, like Charlie.

Perdy: And praytell – “Why does she not use a tanning bed” She would look worlds better. And Edward….buddy….make a decision….love her or leave her because you are driving me nuts when you say you leaving and come back around – what a friggin tease! No wonder the girl is confused

UC: I know. That’s a big issue. HOWEVER.. It’s important .. for where they go in Eclipse (next movie) and the last book. He needs to leave her to know how much he loves her . and how he’ll never ever leave her again

Perdy: And for Jacob…”does it hurt to become a wolf?”

UC: No- he just feels out of control. Do you know why he’se always shirtless?

Perdy: And really – how big are the wolves because sometimes they look like huge monsters and sometimes just oversized dogs?

UC: They’re huge- like 6 ft tall- remember, They’re NOT bears

Perdy: If I had that body I’d be shirtless all the time too….

UC: Well, it’s because when they turn into wolves- their clothes break. SO.. they wear a little cord around their ankle where they tie their jorts so that they don’t rip their pants. And then they just don’t wear shirts. PLUS they are 110 degrees. So they’re hot

Perdy: I thought something like if he gets too hot he turns into a wolf or something

UC: No he’s just usually 108-110 degrees. OMG I’m a loser (and also AWESOME for knowing all this!)

Perdy: Yes if I’m ever on who wants to be a millionaire I got the “wolf temperature” question in the bag now!

More, after the jump!

On why she doesn’t like Edward

UC: Were you cheering for him to kiss her in new moon? Jacob?

Perdy: My cheers always go to jacob

UC: Why is that? Not attracted to Edward? Cause I’ll help with that…..

Perdy: I could make a list of ways the Edward irritates me – yikes, I just let the cat out of the bag

UC:

Rob Pattinson GQ

meow

That’s GQ Rob- my favorite. Tell me how he irritates you

Perdy: He seems so pale and pathetic….and those sunken in cheeks – honey, eat a donut

UC: That there is the REAL Edward

Perdy: And his hair always looks like its just past the appropriate length and needs a good trim….he actually has great hair though…if only for a trim

UC: Oh I’ll show you current

Perdy: Oh I’m not bagging on the real guy – just the character

UC: Yes- they dress Edward in a tweed suit in all of New Moon. We made MAJOR fun of that! Tweed is serious we say. So everything is ‘tweed serious’ now

Perdy: Actually that picture kind of sums up my hair comment in a nutshell….You have to semi-agree with the hair thing. I mean, can you ALWAYS pull off windblown??

UC: I like it a little bit longer- GQ is perfect Rob to me….haha.. “Windblown” is his “Thing” although it’s short right now

Perdy: I don’t honestly think Jacob is attractive htough. So don’t misunderstand

UC: he’s also 18! Here is the big 3 last night

Perdy: He has a hot bod and a tan and seems to care a little more

UC: care about… the saga? or Bella?

Perdy: I seem to relate to him better if in real life so maybe that’s why I like him better

UC: haha.. how so? You like to eat at the Olive Garden? Like he does? Cuz i know your dad- and he is a good 200 pounds lighter

Big Daddy

Perdy: Um olive garden is ok- Not in my top 50

UC: No but seriously- why do you relate to him in real life? Besides the tan skin thing you fake tanner, you!

Perdy: Umm….not sure really….I’ve never thought about this so deeply before….I’m sure my work is proud I’m spending my time doing it though, but let me tell you – I am  proud!! Let me think…..It probably has something to do with the fact that I don’t like vampires because I watched the blade series one too many times……My husband is a fan of vampire movies so in order for him to watch the occasional Disney tale with me – I have to watch some horrific vampire flicks. So I think they are horribly frightening….And I like dogs….and wolves are kind of like dogs

UC: but Edward is a good vampire! They do call Jacob “pup” all the time in Eclipse & the last book

Perdy: So that must be my logical reasoning

UC: I like it!

Perdy: Vampire = scary. Edward = vampire. Edward = scary

UC: but Edward is the vampire that performs the Leg hitch.. you will understand in the 3rd movie- if they do it right! WHICH THEY BETTER.

Perdy: Dogs = cute. Dogs = wolves (kind of). Jacob=wolf. Jacob=cute

Thoughts on Eclipse

UC: So you’ve seen lots of previews for Eclipse, I assume, since you watch a bunch of TV?

Perdy: Ummmm I’ve seen a few

UC: anything stick in your mind? Do you feel like you’re being interviewed?

Perdy: It is probably the most interesting ones of the previews to me

UC: yes.. I’ve heard it’s the best movie so far, even though the director is 4 ft tall (like you!!)

Perdy: Um – I recall that the vampires and wolves become friends and I don’t know why they didn’t think of becoming friends before

UC: hahah!!! That’s funny! They don’t become friends, so that’s hilarious that that is what you got from the trailer. They WORK together to destroy the scary vamps

Perdy: Right but why did it take them 3 movies to decide this was a good idea? Perhaps just building up for it?

UC: yes- it’s SUPER important for the last movie/book- they need to build a comradery because you remember the Volturi? The scary vamps in Italy? They come back- in a BIG WAY in book #4

Perdy: Umm yes I remember-  Dakota and the ones with red eyes and capes

UC: yes! They have red eyes because they eat people.

UC: well thank you for entertaining me

Perdy: Thank u for helping me be occupied with something other than work! I hope it gets you some good responses. And hopefully not too much hate mail- talking of my ignorance of Twilight!

UC: hahah. No- they’ll love it. We LOVE to deflower a virgin around here!

Perdy: Twilight is more like “Pitch Dark Midnight” to me

You heard her! No hating on her virginity! (Hate!? I’m JEALOUS!!!)

Sigh… the good ol’ days,
UnintendedChoice

Have you had any “run-ins” with Twilight virgins recently!? It’s been so long for me I forgot how much fun it was!!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • http://twitter.com/Jayde17 Jayde

    Oh my God, I LOVE the virgins!
    It’s funny.
    Thanks for that, Perdy!!
    I actually just found out a girl I’m friends with at uni who is a big fan hasn’t even read the books, she just loves the films.
    I’m doing my best to make her read them.
    I remember when I forced English Bestie to read it. I told her we couldn’t be friends if she didn’t.
    She did. She loved it. I was so happy!
    Sigh. I needa find more TwiVirgins to de-flower. It’s fun!

    • Xylem108.9

      Awww Jayde, that is such a noble cause.? Seriously that is sweet. I lost my Twi-cherry to wikipedia… Which reminds me of that post of the girl who lost her virginity to a sparklepeen. It was dry and not at all satisfying. Luckily I read the books even if by that point I already knew ALL the major plot points in the saga. :(

      • http://Twitter.com/Jayde17 Jayde

        Sadly I was the same. I already knew that Jake was a werewolf and knew they got married. And knew of Renesmee. It’s all the fault of that Facebook app, Pieces of Flair. The Twi ones were everywhere! I also remember ones about Jacob Black being Sirius and Lupin’s (from HP, for the uninitiated) lovechild and being all “WTF?! Who is this Jacob person?!?”

  • Carrie Jo

    I barely remember being a Twilight virgin…but I remember going “Vampires, girls, really?” when my English students begged me to read the books.

    I had never read or watched anything to do with vampires before.

    Edward has ruined me for other vampires forever.

    P.S. I thought your friend was really funny–and she remembered quite a bit about the movies for only seeing each of them once!

    And I have to ask, did her HUSBAND make her watch the movies????

    • http://twitter.com/Jayde17 Jayde

      Haha that’d be a double whammy! A virgin AND a unicorn in one household!

  • tuesdaymidnight

    Aw, that was so sweet!! It still surprises me that people don’t know why I snicker when I hear words like “dazzle” and “sparkle.”

    This also confirms something that has been troubling me for awhile now. The movies have made Edward seem unappealing, particularly his dour appearance in New Moon. I don’t know how many people I know (okay, it’s probably, like, two) who are Team Jacob, because they’ve only seen the movies. *shakes head* It’s always been Edward…

    • Michelle

      Agreed. Edward is tortured yes, but he’s HOTNESS personified!!!! What the FRICK is up with making him seem unappealing?!?!?!?

      • kat

        Only the Saga’s hair and makeup department can de-hot Robert Pattinson.

        • allryans
          • whyamidoingthis

            Exactly. I’ve held back from saying how awful I think he looks in that one shot because it seems like so many fans think Eclipse is his best look. I still think (from the little bits we’ve glimpsed, including this icky screenshot) that Twilight Edward was the hottest.

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            To whyamidoingthis: AGREED that Twilight Edward is the hottest. For sure.

          • Aro

            No question. Twilight = Pornward, hands down.

        • snowwhitedrifted

          I think he looks like he’s got Hepatitis C on the Eclipse posters/billboards.

          • tuesdaymidnight

            FTW!

    • Rob’s flaming dashboard

      @tuesdaymidnight You hit the nail on the head! I first read Twilight at Xmas 2006 and it didn’t appeal. I got caught up by my daughter in the countdown to Breaking Dawn book and first Twilight movie. Then a combination of Midnight Sun and Rob are what it took to get me to like Edward. I guess I am Team Book Jacob and Team Movie Edward – but unwaveringly Team RPattz.

      I am apprehensive for Breaking Dawn movie because I think it’s going to take some level of tweed serious genius to make that whiny, nervous dad-to-be seem sympathetic when compared to Jacob as faithful friend.

      Also horrified for the chomp-section. And queasy about imprinting and the concluding Noah’s Ark style pairing. I wish the book would have stopped with Bella’s change, on Isle Esme. Stephenie Meyer could have easily filled the other 600 pages with pre and post vampy special hug time detail.

      I seem to be curmudgeonly today.

      • Obava

        Special hug time FTW!!!!

    • Stacey

      I thought he looked good in Twilight, but couldn’t figure out the old man suits in New Moon. My friend thought that he was supposed to look distinguished, but I reminded her that he was supposed to look like he was still 17 and fit into high school. The Eclipse wardrobe looks much better. The white kabuki makeup, not so much.

      • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

        “white kabuki makeup” HAH!

    • operarose

      Could not agree more here. I was always for Edward in the books. I really loved Jacob, too, (but hey so did Bella,) in the series. But Edward and Bella were made for each other, period.

      In the movies, I just want her to get it over with and run off with Jacob. Movie Jacob is sweet and handsome, and I find he has more of a personality in the movies than Edward does. Robert is sweet and handsome…in real life. In the movies, he’s a depressed, mumbly, grumpy old man in bad makeup and too many rosy pink lip glosses in a tweed jacket. No thanks.

      Way to go movies for trying so hard to make Edward hot that he just circled back around to being “not.”

      • Ish

        Well it must be only me but has ANYONE else noticed that when Jacob goes to kiss Bella in New moon movie he looks like Hamster boy. The lad looks deformed.

        • operarose

          what’s Hamster boy?

          • Ish

            He has hamster cheeks like they are filled with 16 acorns to tide him over till nxt winter. Go on watch it again and see if you agree – mind you could seriously be my tv

          • operarose

            you sure you’re not confusing him with Mike Welch?

      • Lovintherain

        I agree with you for the most part, Operarose. I absolutely loved Edward in the books. I was inches away from doodling Mrs. Lovintherain Cullen in my notebook. And I just knew there was no way that Bella could be with anyone but hiim. But my sister-in-law found him fairly annoying in the books. She kept saying that he was behaving more like her grandfather than her boyfriend. I would point out his age and his desperate need to keep her safe…she just thought he was boring. She remains Team Jake, but not because of the movies.

    • StotheP

      *shakes finger* You’re good! *stops channeling Mike Welch. Because ewwwww.*

      Well said, Tooz. Excellent point, also. I’m STILL confused about how people can even BE Team Jacob. Mostly because I refuse to accept the whole heart-torn-in-two explanation. It makes me sad. And stabby.

      • eatmyjorts

        I’m wearing my stab vest.

        • StotheP

          Awww. Fear not. I’m unarmed. I don’t even have long fingernails.

      • tuesdaymidnight

        Hahahaha, it makes me stabby too. It all begins with a choice? Bah. There’s no choice. There’s a lapse in judgment due (or so I’ve always rationalized) to the demon spawn she’s going to birth.

  • Michelle

    I LOVE IT!

    It reminds me of after New Moon when my husband asked me…”does she end up picking one of them or what?!” Um…yeah, honey you don’t know which one? “Um…I’m going with the Jacob dude.” And then…I punched him.

    Joking of course…but seriously, after watching the END of New Moon he still thinks she ends up with Jacob?!

    This is when I WRONGLY started blabbing about Breaking Dawn (marriage and spawn born w/ teeth…) and completely lost my husband in any chance that he’ll EVER watch it with me…LOL.

    Eeeeeekkkkkk! Tomorrow night!

    Please let my LTT shirt come…please let my LTT shirt come!

  • http://twitter.com/JessicaLBarrett Jess

    That was so cute!
    A laughed, but she had some legitimately good questions!
    I love TwiVirgins.

    UC – I’m curious if she knows about LTT/R and your UC alter ego. When you mentioned the “we call it tweed serious” and all that, was she all “who is ‘we?’” Just wondering :)

    • Rob’s flaming dashboard

      Let’s give Perdy a rousing welcome! You linked her, right, UC? “You’ve gone public now!”

  • Xylem108.9

    Awww so cute. I could never hate on a Team Jacob even if it’s only based on the movies. Actually, she’s really Team Taycob. To be Team Jacob you have to experience read the kiss on the mountain.

    MS’s BFF, Superfan and now deflowerer of virgins. How many titles can you have? Btw.. How was the superfan event? Is t

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  • http://notanaddikt.blogspot.com Bella_NaA

    I only managed to deflower one person and that was Alice_NaA. And man, did she turn out one scary fangirl! After that, and two utter failures (one of them is STILL only halfway through Eclipse… after ONE YEAR) I gave up deflowering, and enjoy geeking out here.

    • Alice_NaA

      Thumbs DOWN for calling me a crazy fangirl miss “Let’s not go late since doors already open at 6pm and we paid 20 euro to see celebrities”, while I proposed to sneak in right before the movie starts and do more shopping instead.
      P.S. Love you too

  • celestialchic

    I recently met a twi-virgin, and after a short discussion, she asked to borrow my copy, I had to explain that though I enjoy peer pressuring people into reading the books, I refuse to lend out my copies! You never know when I might have some kind of twi-emergency and need to re-read some random chapter . . . so I don’t think she’s going to read the books . . . I am a deflowering failure.

    • Carrie Jo

      I don’t lend out my copies, either!

    • Ish

      no way sweetheart you got your priorities right

    • Xylem108.9

      I deflowered a friend, but it was sort of just the tip. I went on vacation with a college friend last year and I happened to have Twilight with me (you know, for emergencies because I was actually reading The Host) I let her read Twilight and dribel called Midnight Sun and she was hooked. But I couldn’t lend her my other copies when we got back home. I have the hard cover versions which include the first chapter of the next book so it cut off right after Bella cuts her finger and all the Cullens are looking at her. On our way back home on the plane, the woman next to her had a copy of NM on her lap, but she slept during the whole flight. My friend stared at that book for hours as if it was the most delicious think she would never have. She actually contemplated borrowing it while the woman slept. So, yeah, I sort of deflowered one person. It was my second attempt. My first deflowering went horribly wrong… But she’s still coming to see Eclipse with me. ;)

      • efam

        “My friend stared at that book for hours as if it was the most delicious think she would never have. She actually contemplated borrowing it while the woman slept.”

        Love it! I don’t blame her…I remember my Twilight virgin days and I would get this crazy look in my eye when I had to go buy the next book.

      • sonata

        “I deflowered a friend, but it was sort of just the tip.” ~TWSS

        sorry. now that I got that out of my system, I can think.

        I get the superTwiNerd award today because I bought TWO TW sets–one nice, pretty hard back set that *I* read (and no one else touches), and one mostly paperback set that I lend out.

        I bought the second set because people were starting to talk behind my back at the foaming-at-the-mouth freak out that would occur when someone would ask to borrow the Twilight books from the known Twilight Junkie (me).

        However, I have now renounced Twilight publicly as “so yesterday” and read in private and come here for my ‘fix.’ I can only take so many of my 10 year old students at school asking if I am “Team Jacob” or “Team Edward.”

    • operarose

      I did the same thing for my sister-in law… two years ago.

      Let’s just say I had to buy a new set of books. I now have 2-3 copies of each of the books.

      I’ve also gotten several others to read the series. So the books are now spread out over the U.S. and Canada.

      I consider it a “public service.” Wonder if I can get a tax write-off for the books?!

      • operarose

        whoops, mis-read the original post. I mean to say I actually lend people the books! let’s just say it’s an expensive thing to do.

    • JustGoWithIt

      I lent all my books out, and then asked for them back, and haven’t gotten them yet. Then I actually bought a dog eared copy that was at the thrift store next to my work for 1.75 and re-read while reading Bree. I want them back! I still skipped over the werewolf folklore though. Lending is iffy for sure.

    • JustGoWithIt

      I lent all my books out, and then asked for them back, and haven’t gotten them yet. Then I actually bought a dog eared copy of Eclipse that was at the thrift store next to my work for 1.75 and re-read while reading Bree. I want them back! I still skipped over the werewolf folklore though. Lending is iffy for sure.

    • same

      Is it scary that I have a good copy and a lending copy? I’d’like to think it’s’just be prepared, but really, my it’s’my obsession showing…

      • same

        I should have mentioned my good copies and my lending copies are in addition to the hard covers, which I leave on the shelf so the dust covers stay pretty. THAT’S’the scary. I must go away now.

    • Michelle

      I don’t lend mine out either! My younger sister put me onto the Twiverse after she read them when someone lent them to HER. I bought my own copies reluctantly and fell in lust from Day 1. She wanted to borrow my copies for a re-read herself and she was DENIED!

      I bought a new set instead and gave her my old set. Couldn’t have the poor girl missing out now, could I!?

      I’ve made the same mistake of denying a loan at work, and got some very weird looks. What? I can’t risk them not coming home to me! The copies they sell now always have some cringy feature, like the outer edges of the pages are coloured red, or the cover of the book is the movie poster (I hate that) or something equally tacky. My copies are PERFECT and I don’t want to lose them to some bad-borrower.

    • ChillinWithCullens

      CelestialChic, you’re so right. You lend those out and you’ll never see them again! I deflowered my sister (omg that sounds awful), and (under the guise of being thoughtful, though it was really only to protect my own precious books) bought her a copy of her very own. Now she’s read most of the books and is nearly as obsessed as I am! Buying one for a future potential twifriend is always a worthwhile investment.

  • TeamJacobEdward

    Lemme get this straight:
    Her husband likes vampire movies AND was the one who made her watch Twilight & New Moon? I thought people who like vampire movies usually hated our beloved sparkly vampires…?

    Sooo, she has a unicorn husband and HE initiated HER Twilight de-flowerment?

    WOW

    • Goodgirl gone plaid

      Wow, TEJ that was goona be my exact question, blade to sparky veggie vamps?! Me thinks UC needs to do a follow up interview here!

      My LTT/LTR merch arrived today’ YAY! Thanks @snowwhitedrifted!x.
      I may or may not be taking the Tweed Serious travel mug to wimbeldon later this week.

    • Rob’s flaming dashboard

      IKR I’m stunned too. Would NEVER happen in my house.

      My husband, who has taken all his vacation time to watch the World Cup even though we’re no longer in it, has a man cave decorated in his team colours, has convinced his boss to set up a World Cup viewing lounge at work, exclusively wears team shirts when not in the office and runs a fan site for his team; thinks **I** have a problem because I want to go to the midnight showing with my girlfriends. I own 5 Saga books, 6 RPattz movies, 1 Burger King cup and have a laptop featuring an extensive selection of bookmarked favourites.

      I tried to explain this is like Cup Final day for Twihards but he was appallingly rude about Rob and the fandom. Well, sauce for the goose…

      • TeamJacobEdward

        Exactly!! Your husband should understand!

        I feel your pain.
        My husband gives me so much crap about my Twi-obsession and I only own 2 copies of the books (except BD and that Bree book… long story, but it had to do worth my perfection-like tenancies and need for complete sets) and the movies… and maybe a few pictures of Rob stashed away somewhere–which I can neither confirm nor deny I actually have. But that’s it! I don’t even have a sparking, pocket Eddie! lol And haven’t yet caned to an LTT shirt! (though I know I will so I don’t know why I’m still without one)

        I’ve tried to explain it to his love of hunting. He refuses to think that they’re anything the same. I say nothing when he does anything related to hunting because he loves out and that’s great, but the moment I pull out the book to re-read or record something that has anything to do with Twi or something he says something about my being obsessed. He likes calling me his teeny-bopper wife. Even though I think his taunts are mainlybecause he views Twi as a tween/teen thing I still think it’s a total double standard. Boys. ;)

        • Rob’s flaming dashboard

          Thank you for the support TeamJacobEdward.

          I did start having kids young and missed out on a lot of young adult experiences because making it through each day was just such a struggle. He on the other hand had 10 years as single man earning a good salary in a fun city and attending every one of his team’s games before we met and did the blended family thing.

          Now I am raising my nose from the housewifely grindstone as my youngest is finally more independent and I have found this one thing that intrigues and delights me – even if Twilight is a teenybopper thing – I think I am justified to enjoy it and spend a tiny bit of my own wages on it. It’s totally a double standard.

          FYI Rob’s flaming dashboard does NOT have Bieber fever.

          Plus I have the idea that if Steph can make her fortune from a dream then I should have a try. I just need to crack her formula!

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            No Bieber Fever? Phew. We can be friends.

            Stand firm, ladies. After all we do, we deserve a fun outlet, too. Back off, guys!!

  • Nelle

    Speaking of leg hitching- did anyone see the still shots from Eclipse posted on YouTube. I swear one of them looked like the start of the leg hitch. Woo-hoo. Only two more days.

    I have come across a lot of Twilight virgins but find I have a hard time talking with them without giving away my (totally normal) obsession!!

  • Ish

    Most of my friends have their twi chastity belts strapped on tightly so am twi nigel no mates – except for all you guys :-)

    • tnmebd10

      I feel your pain Ish, except mine runs a bit deeper. Not exactly like a whole has been punched through my chest pain but still kinda throbby.

      All of my friends Twi chastity belts are sealed entirely. As a matter of fact I have only been able to convince my best friend’s husband (of all people) to come to the movies with me so I don’t have to go alone. How pathetic would that be?! Can I get an sniffle ?

    • tnmebd10

      Not that i don’t look pathetic enough since I can’t seem to use the right whole/hole in a quote !! haha

    • LoveSpelledBackwards

      Ditto. : )

  • kat

    I love how you were so gentle with the virign UC! Why does it seem so hilarious to me that she is Team Jacob? Does Edward have sunken in cheeks? I just htought it was his amazing cheekbones and f*cktacular jawporn!?

    Twivirigns are the best!!!

  • Stacey

    “sparkle like diamonds” hee. I have a friend that I was trying to answer her questions and after I finished she told me,”True Blood is for big girls.”

    I liked your friends questions! I have another friend who is much more accepting of Twilight who asked me questions every two seconds of watching New Moon. She too decided she liked Jacob after watching the movie. Or at least Jacob’s bronzed chest. Which made asked if she always liked “jail bait” over Pattinson pretty? Then she got mad and informed me I must like stalkers who watch me “sleep”. She got me there!

    • Obava

      Hahahahahahha!

      “True Blood is for big girls”!!!

      Imma get a t-shirt with THAT printed on it!

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      I have one thing to say about stalkers watching you sleep: if you already have a big crush on them, it’s nothing but awesome to wake up in your dorm room with them sitting in a chair by your bed watching you sleep. I speak from experience.

      • Rob’s flaming dashboard

        @ nocoolname – details please! or are you putting it in to fanfiction?

        • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

          Well, as I share SM’s moral boundaries (she and I are of the same tribe), nothing happened that was fanfic worthy. The best part about that experience was that it was SUPER flattering. He just felt like hanging out (I guess?) and so he parked himself about one foot away from my face, chin on fist, and waited until I woke up. I think we ended up watching a movie in my room and I think he gave me a foot massage. I was my own cockblocker. Sigh.

          • Luludee

            So how did he get into your room in the first place?

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            I guess I must have left my door unlocked…? Nothing cool like climbing up the side of the building and in through the window…although, in RL, that WOULD be creepy, huh?
            Yes, that night was a good one – fun to reflect on 16 years later. Maybe that’s why I like Twlight so much…it reminds me of thrilling moments like these when everything is so new and exciting. (For the record, I don’t spend much time reviewing stuff like this. I’m very happily married, still in very much in love with the hubs. Don’t know why I felt compelled to point that out, but whatever.)

  • http://www.twitter.com/ScienceGeek91 Rob’s slow mo’ strut

    *sigh* Twi-virgins. How I wish I was one of those. The good ol’ days where I imagined the meadow to be perfect (holla David Slade!) and not a golf course like Cathy Coug showed us. The way Edward sniffed her neck, by placing his cheek right on her throat…and…. oh where was I?

    So the other day, I walked into class and noticed one of the girls had a book open on her desk and she was telling the others about how she was reading a four-book series. That caught my attention and sure enough I looked to see Rob’s pale, horridly made-up face of twilight poster on the book cover. I walked over and asked her if it was twilight.And then revealed I’ve read it a number of times. MInd you, the others weren’t paying attention ’cause Twilight is still new in here.

    So then she changes her seat and comes over and sits in front of me. It turned out her sister is a major twi/Rob fan (who had even seen ‘How To Be’ and ‘Little Ashes. I’m such a bad Rob fan) and her sister kinda forced her to read it. So my twi-virgin classmate saw twilight and started reading the books. When asked about Rob, she replied, “Oh, isn’t he a little fat?”

    I saw red in my eyes.

    My reply? I smiled sweetly and said, “Please, kindly get your eyes checked sweetie.”

    • Stacey

      “…a little fat” What?!? That wouldn’t be my first description!

      • http://www.twitter.com/ScienceGeek91 Rob’s slow mo’ strut

        I know right? My first impression would be perfect, angelic, dreamy, sexy, swoonworthy…

      • Sue G.

        My first thought is always Yummy!

      • aleisha

        Well, he may be “a little fat” in the “goodies”… at least that’s what I imagine. Can u tell I’ve been reading fanfic this weekend? God, so ashamed.

        • Ish

          “a little fat in the goodies” now that is what I want on my tee shirt

        • Michelle

          Baaaaaaaaaahahahahahahhahahaha! I loved this!

      • robsfuturemate

        RSMS-” a little fat”??? WTH!!! Even Perdy says he needs to eat a donut! And I have a RL friend that says Rob needs to eat more chicken! I’ve never heard anything remotely close to fat!!!

    • Michelle

      Oh I HATE movie-poster Twilight books. In 20 years when I’m still enjoying the books (in my dreams) I’m going to be so happy mine have neutral covers.

  • alice_av

    this is so much fun, it remind me how I try to explain the books to virgins: no this vampires do not burn in the sun light they sparkle; no, you can not kill them with holly water and stake; no they do not sleep in coffins, how awsome and hot they are??!! and the last but not lest: really? Jacob???!!! more Edward for me I guess =P

  • http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/nicole.linn1 nicole

    omg…that was soo funny…love it

  • http://www.twitter.com/_dharv HeyyyBrother

    Good timing with this post. I just tweeted this on Friday night:

    Tried to explain Twilight to a guy friend tonight. First time I’ve ever had to say: “No, imprinting doesn’t involve peeing on the baby”.

    Twilight sounds INSANE when you try to explain it to someone who knows absolutely nothing about the saga. He had all these questions, and my friend and I had all the answers. But the answers? I dare you not to feel like a total turd when you’re trying to say to someone “no, imprinting just means that he knows right away that that’s the person – or in his case, baby – for you. Well I mean they don’t DO anything until later in life…”

    Yeah. Awesome. For the record, HE started asking us about it. We didn’t force it on him or anything.

    • Stacey

      “peeing on a baby” That is awesome! Of course, now I have an image of poor Taylor peeing on the animatronic baby in Breaking Dawn. Of all the disturbing images that can be stuck in my head today. yikes!

    • http://www.twitter.com/ScienceGeek91 Rob’s slow mo’ strut

      “Twilight sounds INSANE when you try to explain it to someone who knows absolutely nothing about the saga.”

      YES, I completely agree. When explaining all the imprinting business to my mom, she was like, “Oh my God, isn’t she just a baby?”

      The horror!

    • efam

      Same here! My mom volunteered to go see New Moon with me. After the movie, my mom wanted to know what happened next.
      When I got to the pregnancy, my mom literally jumped out of the car when I pulled in her driveway. She was freaked out enough!

    • Obava

      Oh em Ee, you guys are killing me today!

      “No, imprinting doesn’t involve peeing on the baby”

      MWAHAAHAHAA!!!!

      THIS is my new t-shirt! :D

  • Alice_NaA

    I love me some twi-virgins, but I don’t think twi-virgins love me. I once watched the movie with two of them and could not resist the urge to pauze the movie every 5 minutes and start explaining why person A says this and person B gives person C a weird look.

    • http://www.twitter.com/_dharv HeyyyBrother

      Clearly you didn’t take my “How to Deflower a Twilight Virgin” guest-post from last year to heart. Tsk tsk, Alice!

    • Kadie

      That’s the problem with seeing the movies before reading the books…there are too many holes to fill in (TWSS) during the movies because they can’t possibly explain all of the details that the books do.

  • sonata

    So I am going to be the lone prude here.

    I hate deflowering. I’ve done it a few times, and it usually goes a little something like this:

    Twi Virgin: “Vampires? I am not into stuff like that.”

    Sonata: “Trust me. It’s not dark. I promise.”

    Twi Virgin: “Okkayyy…..”

    *after reading the entire series*

    Sonata: “Wasn’t that awesome? Didn’t it change your life? Didn’t you wonder about things like free-will, true love, choice, destiny, and the ethics of child imprentation?”

    Twi Virgin: *akward silence* “uhhh….yeah, they were really good…I gotta go…”

    Sonata: *chasing after Twi Virgin* “But wait! There’s more! Midnight Sun….Bree Tanner…..FANFIC!”

    or……sadly……the “I got stuck in the middle of New Moon and can’t remember who is who” Twi Virgin. They disappoint me most of all.

    So… I have stopped deflowering, the disappointment and after-morning shame is just too much for me to handle. Instead, I come to a snarky internet site to get my needs met….

    and it’s totally normal. :-)

    • https://twitter.com/snarkwithaspoon moaninmymouth

      I was desperately needing someone to talk about Twilight, but mainly Rob’s hotness so I deflowered the only girlfriend I had around here. All my hopes were slowly but surely crashed as the weeks went by. She read the whole thing in about 3 months (how??!) *sigh*

      I mean she liked it and I know that she watched some cast interviews. I also noticed the transition from “meh” to “hot” regarding Rob. But the “What is wrong with me, is it normal to obsess like this? Give me mooooore!!!” moment never came. *double sigh*

      • https://twitter.com/snarkwithaspoon moaninmymouth

        … and she’s kind of a prude so I was really, REALLY looking forward to introducing her to fanfic, just to see what her reactions would be. Oh well…

        • Rob’s flaming dashboard

          I have every sympathy with you guys as I am the biggest twitard I know in real life. It’s a violent love/hate thing for me. Hooray for places like LTT and LTR.

        • ChillinWithCullens

          MoanInMyMouth, if it makes you feel any better, I’m certainly not a twiVirgin, but I’ve never read any fanfic. I’d like to, but I just don’t know where to find it! Anybody care to help me out?

    • lilmisscan’tbewrong

      I completely understand. I have so far done it three times. First one, she loved it big time, even had me talked into going to a Twi-Convention, then bailed on me because “I’m just too busy this weekend, and I’m kinda over it right now.” WHAT? (Although I’m actually glad we never went to TwiCon. Don’t think I could have lived with the after effects of that much 1st and 2nd-hand embarrassment!)

      Second one, she said “it was okay, kind of silly, you know.” SILLY! I had no words after that.

      Third one, she was tempoarily more obsessed than me (didn’t know it was possible!), but now is only interested sporadically. She’s the fickle type, and what I need in a Twi-BFF is a commitment. After all, a vampire is forever! She is going to the midnight show with me tomorrow, but I have a terrible suspicion that she’s going to fall asleep in the middle, and then I will have to never speak to her again.

  • Obava

    Perdy, welcome to our own personal brand of NORMAL! I love that you’re Team Jacob because you think doggies are cute <3

    I've never deflowered someone per se, but I like to think my obvious coolness as a person and my semi-outness as a fan has given others the strength to come to Twilight on their own.

    I have one newbie friend- she was so cute I wanted to pat her on the head. "Did you know the author wrote part of Twilight from Edward's point of view? I read it on the Internet!", "Aren't Edward and Bella together in real life? I heard they told Oprah they are having a baby!", "As soon as I started reading the first one, I practically didn't eat or sleep until I had read ALL of the books!", etc etc. Adorable :)

    And then, of course, I sent her links to LTT & LTR.

    • Alice_NaA

      I also have some friends who used to send me links to Twi-stuff from online local newspapers, to which I always had to reply with
      “Myeah, that was actually being said in a totally different context” and “yes I kinda already knew that”. I now no longer get such emails.

  • Stacey

    My friend just called to ask me if she he could give her husband the Twilight books for their anniversary. Her husband would be a wonderful unicorn!

    I kept anwering her questions about the books and movies and I think she is now more confused then before! (I’m trying to get her to read them too)

  • Lovintherain

    I managed to deflower my best friend….and she is now at least as obsessed as I am, which is very cool. Most of my running group was all reading the saga at the same time by coincidence, although they were a little ahead of me, so I was kind of the virgin then. So long ago. I have one friend who I have tried and tried to convince to read them, but she cannot even make it through Twilight. It’s funny, though, because she comes to the opening night shows with us and insists that I tell her the entire story before hand so she won’t be too surprised. She even likes me to tell her the plot of fanfiction stories, but won’t read them herself. We do have a lot of time to fill when we are training to run long distances. :)

    • whyamidoingthis

      I am a runner….wish I could join your group! I don’t read any FF either, but having hilarious Twi conversations with like-minded folk seems like an excellent way to breeze through the miles!

      • Lovintherain

        You don’t happen to be from Northern CA, do you? Maybe you could join us!

        • whyamidoingthis

          Sadly, no. I love Northern CA. Lived in Sonoma for 3 years and always enjoyed the Wine Country Half Marathon. Who can resist filling up on some lovely reds at 9am after a long, dehydrating course?

          • Lovintherain

            That’s so funny. I ran the Ave. of the Vines Half in Lodi, and at the finish line they were handing us glasses of Riesling. For once in my life, I preferred gatorade.

  • aleisha

    UC & Moon, I think you guys need a post for the LTT virgins.

    I read the books (aka became obsessed) in March & found you guys in April or May. Let’s just say I’ve had to work VERY hard to bring myself up to date on it all: jorts, tweed, fake lesbian stuff with Nikki (I had no idea), figuring out which one is UC and which one is Moon, who the hell Oregano and Big Daddy are… some of the google and LTT searches I did to figure it all were just downright embarrassing.

    Speaking of which, still trying to figure out unicorn. Is it just a guy who likes Twilight or someone (male or female) who’s reading/admitting to reading Twilight?

    • Nelle

      You sound just like me. Same timeline. Same confusion with some of the terminology. “Unicorn” is a man who likes Twilight. There is a FAQs section that explains some things. I never knew why Taylors father was called “Big Daddy” until I saw the photo today!! All is clear now.

      • aleisha

        Thanks for clearing that up. Glad I’m not alone (and FAQ — who knew?!).

    • O.M.E.

      @Aleisha…I read the books last year after my students were devouring them in class. I figured, if you can’t beat them…and became obsessed during the first few pages and all that. Things slowed down for me (Twiwise) over the fall and then exploded again as I am preparing for the 3rd (and BEST, it better be!!) movie. I have friends who are into Twilight and I have delfowered half a dozen or so of them (most recently a coworker who read the whole series-minus Bree and that waste of 264 pages called Midnight Sun-and watched the movies in two weeks). Even with all of that twithousiasm surrounding me, I need LTT and I am so grateful to have found them just in the last few weeks. I have narrowed down my twicommentary to a single real life friend and leave the rest for here now. I think people (my too short jorts wearing students included) were starting to think I was crazy. Just crazy in love. Sigh. So anyway, read the FAQ’s and some archives, that what I did.

  • eatmyjorts

    Hi Perdy! It’s obvious you’re my kind of people. I f you go to Moon & UC’s lair you can just see me, along with DJ, Sj & few others way off in the distance…in the doghouse :) Wouldn’t have it any other way.

    P.S. Can some techno genius please cut out the clip of UC wiht Jacksper & post it for me? I just can’t get that weird looped thing to play in the right place…

    P.P.S. Anyone got Midnight Cyn’s email? I emailed HQ as suggested but they’ve been too busy with SM & Jacksper etc to notice.

    • Just me

      me too – i want to see the us & jackson clip

      • Just me

        that would be uc and not us

        i can’t even type today

        in other news I had my hair cut and colored on saturday and the hairdresser did a hack job. i watched remember me (for the commentary only – that’s normal right?) on sunday and all i could think was that my hair looked like ruby’s after the mean girls got to her.

        • Just me

          thanks to eatmyjorts below – just watched it. UC – you are a hottie! And Jackson totally thought so too. You could have totally tapped that.

          Nice job on NOT wearing a too-tight Eclipse T shirt like some of the other super fans.

    • LoveSpelledBackwards

      I wish I could have heard what UC was thinking (Edward style) during that interview, especially when Jackson got her name wrong. I love how the MovieFone guy said her name very clearly after Jackson had messed it up. Completely awkward but somehow totally fun, for me, at least.

      • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

        i was thinking “Um THAT name is for 12 year olds (and one of my bffs) NOT ME!”

        • LoveSpelledBackwards

          Now, if it was Rob? What would you have thought if he got your name wrong. Just wondering? ; )

  • http://www.twitter.com/KatOfDiamonds KatOfDiamonds

    woah, I haven’t been a virgin since November of 2007… but thats ok, its NORMAL!

  • eatmyjorts

    Scrap that! I found it! You were magnificent, name twin, & that was one longing look he shot after you as you rushed away from the interview rather than lingering a leeeeeetle too long like many would!

    • Goodgirl goneplaid

      hey!!
      Thanks for linking that!
      UC your minidress is cute & I liked the little touch with the SM namedrop also. Good Job! :)

    • Goodgirl goneplaid

      hey!!
      Thanks for linking that!
      UC your minidress is cute & I liked the little touch with the SM namedrop also. Good Job! :)

    • Goodgirl goneplaid

      hey!!
      Thanks for linking that!
      UC your minidress is cute & I liked the little touch with the SM namedrop also. Good Job! :)

    • Goodgirl goneplaid

      Eff *facepalm*

      • eatmyjorts

        I like your style!

    • snowwhitedrifted

      That was Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat UC! Your hotness dazzled Jackson. :)

      • eatmyjorts

        Yeah, & she had a little gleam in her eye too….sort her out Mr Choice!

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      UC, you totally ROCKED that interview!

    • Stacey

      UC, you did a wonderful job! He was completely checking you out. “red mullet”= fantastic! Even though you didn’t …ahem…tap something on Jackson. I am happy that you let me know that you tapped “accidentally” something on the wolfboy. (Still looking for the clip of that one!)

      I hope you are having a great time in LA with Moon!

    • Bea

      Yaaay! How cute were you?! Second hand proud of UC.

    • lilmisscan’tbewrong

      And I thought there was no way for you to be awesomer! Here you are looking both hot and adorable, rocking that interview and not being the least bit embarrassing. And viola, more awesome!

    • MyNieceIsaFanRIGHT

      Thank you so much for posting that! UC rocked it. As she went off into the sunset despite extended arm, Jackson realized he was left with Cardigan Unicorn Boy. Too funny! Loved the SM name drop and music related question for him – totally smooth UC!

    • Nelle

      How cool was that- that UC looked like she was ready to wrap up the interview, but Jackson wanted to keep it up [that's what she said]- keep talking. Look out Mr. Choice.

  • Aro

    I heart this conversation. That is all.

  • cedvanhalen

    Oh my gosh. My mother watched part of Twilight with me one day and asked so many questions. And then when I answered them I felt like a total loser and realized just how crazy this little story that I love is. Also, she didn’t like it.

    This post is total win though.

    And why is everyone Team Jacob now?! At least 3 of my friends are with Jacob. Screw that. I run with vampires.

    • Just me

      Well, you can’t actually run with vampires…because they’re like…really fast.

      ;)

    • kristen’s bestie

      Just Me – THAT.WAS. AWESOME

      I never understood the Team Jacob until New Moon. I thought Taylor made us love Jacob. I thought – I can see it now why someone might love Jacob, but remain unconditionally and irrevocably with Edward.

      • Rob’s flaming dashboard

        Really? I always have a hard time making decisions. Also lack morals. Would be quite happy with both of them. Polyandry rocks MY dreams if not reality.

  • Slapping The Beaver (a Unicorn)

    I was a Twilight Virgin until about 2 months ago, up until when Team Seth helped to change me :-) Actually, I still kind of feel like a virgin in a way, just because of all the newness to it.

    Though, I’ve read all the books (minus the Bree book), which are so much better, and watched the films, and now drink my morning coffee via a LTT ‘downward spiral’ travel mug

    I can’t claim too much virginity, as I have (embarrassingly) shopped firsthand @ the Dazzled by Twilight shop in Forks, right!?

    • Robjunkie

      Are you, like, a real unicorn? I think I’ve seen your handle on here a few times but never made the connection that you may actually be a bona fide unicorn. If so, that is AWESOME. Spill it!

      • Slapping The Beaver (a Unicorn)

        yes, for real!! …which made it EXTRA embarrassing to visit the Twilight store in Forks (though i did find an exceptionally cute Alice Cullen photo for my fridge!).

        Yeah, I think i got hooked by page 60 of the first book, and then never looked back. The books are totally great, i prefer them to the films for sure, but i’m totally excited for tomorrow nite :-)

  • http://thebookishtype.blogspot.com/ The Bookish Type

    LMAO I have had way too many conversations like this. She’s so cute! We love us some virgins. And I’m always happy to find a new member of Team Jacob, even if her loyalty only comes from TayTay’s shirtless goodness. I miss being a Twirgin.

  • Goodgirl goneplaid

    Is it weird or normal that when I first read the books I had no inkling that there was even such a thing as teamJacob? To me it just seemed like a good plot device, created just to show Beller how brillz/incomparable Edward was? I only became aware of a team Jacob cos of the way they picked it out to market New Moon with the trailer at 2009 Mtv movieawards with the tagline goteamjacob?! *shrugs*

    • Luludee

      Spoken like a true Team Edward fan. I’m sure we would say TOTALLY NORMAL, but methinks the Team Jacobs will think it crazy and weird. ;)

  • Luludee

    Lol, oh that was fun.

    I think I only managed to deflower one Twi-Virgin and she in now uber obsessed: has a pocket Edward, reads FF all the time and recommends certain ones to me, etc. It was pretty funny/awesome to see her become a huge fan. I think she reads here, but I don’t know how often.
    Also, I’ve recently gotten another friend hooked on LTT. It’s sort of like deflowering a Twi-virgin. Still fun! I told her that if something doesn’t make sense, to ask me and I’d fill her in on all the jokes.

  • kristen’s bestie

    Hilarious! I’ve got to find me a virgin (er Twi-virgin) and interview them!

    Seeing Eclipse tonight! WOO HOO! Early screening for Theater company employees and I’m a friend of one! I’m sworn to secrecy until Wednesday though.

    • Nelle

      Can you at least give us a thumbs up or down for leg hitch? In secret code? Like “LH Great” or “LH Boo.”

  • snowwhitedrifted

    I read Twilight on a camping trip, last Thanksgiving. I was so engrossed I brought it out to the campfire and my friend said, “Oh that is so good. I want to eff Edward.” And then we discussed amongst ourselves for hours. She also said, “New Moon is really good too…”, but then she was over it. She hasn’t seen the movies. I tell her she created a monster (me) and then left me hanging. She wants to see Eclipse with me, but I can’t get her to read it, and she’s even an avid reader.

    *sigh*- trying to convert someone who has the spark but not the “NORMAL” amount of fanness is hard.

    And hello to all the LTT gals I met last night!!!

  • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

    The books were first recommended to me by a whole bunch of my husband’s cousins at a family reunion, and I was like “mmm…vampires, no thanks.” But they were all so insistent that I HAD TO CHECK IT OUT that my interest was piqued.
    A few months later a friend stopped by, unannounced, with the first book. She had just finished reading it and immediately got in her car and drove 30 minutes to my house to force it upon me. Funny, I was trying super hard that day to finish a baby quilt in time for another friend’s baby’s arrival and my friend who brought me the book said DO NOT PICK UP THE BOOK until you have finished the quilt because YOU WILL NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING BUT READ once you start. Well, of course then I had to start the book as soon as she got in her car and drove away. (I did get the quilt finished, too, BTW, but not until two days later, after I finished the book.)
    Sadly, I think I am now much more of a Twi-Fan than my friend who deflowered me. I think, anyway. I’m too embarrassed to share how big of a fan I turned out to be.

    • Ish

      You quilt! this must be true love! Our little funny avatar thingys are almost identical – this must be fate. nice to get to know there are quilting twi ts out there xx

      • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

        Heck yeah I quilt! All the coolest twi ts do! Unfortunately, I do not put myself in the category of “accomplished” quilter. More like “if I keep doing this, maybe I’ll be good at it someday…”

        So, I’ll ask you – am I the only one who has ever wondered what the faded quilt looked like that Bella fell asleep on in her backyard when Edward was watching from the tree? I always picture it as 1930s-40s vintage -multi-colored – thin and floppy. Or am I an enormous loser for wondering?

        • Just me

          that’s normal

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            thanks

  • JustGoWithIt

    I have recommended it to a few people that have become big fans. I have also introduced it to a few people that I thought would LOVE it, and it wasn’t in good enough taste for them (or maybe they are not ready to admit they go to bed at night wishing for sexy Edward dreams). One of my friends that did not like it at all had the biggest celebrity crushes in the world when we were teenagers, like planned to marry her crushes big. Given the history I imagined planning her wedding to Rob with her.

    My favorite comment from someone I know when mentioning Eclipse coming out was “I don’t like Twilight, I mean I have the DVD’s and have read the books and everything, but I don’t like it”. How is that not liking it? Dude, if you own the DVDs, you might as well admit you at LEAST like it.

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      Seriously! My best friend, who can be a bit of a book snob, admitted to reading the books but ripped on SM’s writing (whatevs – millions of readers, she obviously doesn’t SUCK), but then I noticed she HAD THE BOOKS ON HER BOOKSHELF. As in purchased. Hmm. How much did they suck again?

      • JustGoWithIt

        I have to admit I muttered a few things about the writing while recommending them to my mom. But I got over that, and now recommend with only positive things to say, because really why take things too seriously (and since when I am a good literary critic!). There is a thing in YA writing that bugs me, but it is not unique to SM. I also found it a little irksome in Harry Potter – all the “He growled, she retorted angrily, he snapped” in the dialogue. When I read that I always get a flash of that character’s actor with stank face in my head.
        I also find it silly when people say Breaking Dawn went too far and got ridiculous. Loved Breaking Dawn. Although I can picture CGI Renesmee being a problem to pull off, and the fight at the end of the that happens in people’s minds. As I wrote in an email today, if they can make having the climax of a movie be a bunch of people standing in a field looking like they smelled a fart, then hats off to them.

        • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

          “smelled a fart” That’s just too funny to picture. Awesome.

  • Robjunkie

    Yeah, I’m not so good with the deflowering. I once tried to gently draw my best friend into a discussion about the saga (without outing myself as a total twitard). Bitch was having none of it. She ragged on about the inappropriateness of reading a young adult series, blah blah blah. And she went on and on about how crap she thought the books are. She hadn’t even read it! What a moron, right? We were at a barbecue, and I was thisclose to sticking a hot coal into her eye. I forgave her and undid the curse that I put on her, cause that’s just the kind of person I am. But that horrible experience just made me retreat even further into my twi-closet and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can wear my twilight obsession proudly amongst you wonderful women (and unicorn). Non twi-loving friends suck.

  • Stacey

    I got deflowered by Cathy the Cougar’s Twilight on Showtime. Mr. Pattison has either enriched my life or led me on the path of ruin. If you asked the hubby, he would say ruin and made me certifiably insane. My sister says even worse things.

    So untill I found LTT, I have been going at it alone and feeling very not normal. But much better now!

    • JustGoWithIt

      My husband makes fun of me for sure, but I’m not scared of him. If I couldn’t geek out in front of someone I’ve been with for over a decade that would be sad. I secretly would like him to watch the movies with me, gluten for punishment I guess? A friend was over last night, and we discovered each others Twi-love, and my husband had some serious second-hand embarrassment.

    • snowwhitedrifted

      I’m with you on this:
      “enriched my life or led me on the path of ruin.”

  • MichaelSheenisaDILF

    Okay, in light of some of the Jacob hatin’ going on, just have to point out a few things:

    Jacob = Hot to touch; Edward = So cold have to wrap self in blanket to sleep next to him.
    WIN = Jacob

    Jacob = Mostly naked; Edward = Tweed
    WIN = Jacob

    Jacob = No lipstick; Edward = More lipstick than an 80′s hair rock band
    WIN = Jacob

    Just sayin’ ya’ll.

    What are you wearing tomorrow night? I’m wearing my LTT THEY’RE NOT BEARS shirt!!!

    • eatmyjorts

      I like the cut of your jib! Would you like to join us in the doghouse? We have J/B fanfic…

      • whyamidoingthis

        EMJ,
        Wanted to let you know that I am Team Jacob. I wouldn’t want to live forever, desperately thirsting for human blood, but having to exist on yucky animal blood instead. Plus, my pets would all hate me and run away. And all my human family and friends would die. Oh, and I actually really really like sleep, and despise being cold. If I was turned, I would probably go nuts and become a run-of-the-mill evil vamp. (I don’t deal well with strong cravings, constant wakefulness, ceaseless high school, nor eternity in general).

        That being said, I am solidly Team Rob. Taylor’s cute, but does nothing for me. Does this mean I don’t really fit in your doghouse? Can’t tell if your team is more of a Taylor, Jacob, or Taycob flavor.

        • eatmyjorts

          You’re in! It’s only those dedicated to the cold that we don’t want . And whilst I think Tay is cute, my book Jacob doesn’t look exactly like him, & weirdly, is approximately 24 + years older…putting him in his early 40′s…;)
          Funny that.

          • whyamidoingthis

            Wow…I’m in the doghouse! Suddenly I feel so…duhrty. :)

      • MichaelSheenisaDILF

        Gurl, I love me some B/J (twss) fanfic! I’ve probably read all that’s worth reading, but would love your suggestions…

        OMG I have totally outed myself! In honor of Pride weekend, I guess…

        • eatmyjorts

          If you log into fanfiction.net & look up my page – Beakerj – there’s lots of faves stored there…If I’ve missed anything fabulous, let me know!

    • Nelle

      My friend and I also wearing “They’re not bears” on Weds. I panicked and thought I’d lost mine and couldn’t ask the hubby to help me look. He knows I’m “into” Twilight, but doesn’t know how deep!! But luckily I found it. In a safe place now and ready to go.

      • MichaelSheenisaDILF

        Yes! We’re Twi-twins!

  • http://www.ahbliss.blogspot.com blissful chick

    i am a proud virgin. i don’t know why i’m telling you this. have a nice day.

  • O.M.E.

    Anyone see this clip yet? Eclipse Bed scene. Prime example of why everyone should be Team Edward :)

    http://www.clevvertv.com/twilight-saga/14837/the-twilight-saga-eclipse-bed-scene-movie-clip.html

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      Yup.

    • tnmebd10

      “Holy crow” is it normal that Edward made me cry in that scene?!
      Have seen what I thought was the bed scene but it didn’t include that dialog.

      If you don’t love Edward after that then you don’t have a soul

      • eatmyjorts

        I do love Edward, I just love Jacob more.

  • whyamidoingthis

    I have deflowered no one, and never will. Much too dangerous for me. Closet is comfy.
    Shall experience the awesomeness vicariously through some of you playas.

  • DumpsterdivingwRob

    How come Twilight sounds so ridiculous when it is being discussed with a Twi-virgin? I love it! This entire convo was cracking me up.

  • latuyacantante

    My first comment on LTT, I’m actually kinda new on here.
    Anyway, I’m definetly TEAM EDWARD & loooooooovvvvve RPtaz but UC, ur perfect GQ rob reminds me of the geeksquad at Best Buy

    • robsfuturemate

      latuyacantante- welcome! You should head over to LTR, you’ll get your Rob fix everyday! And we have oh so much fun too!

  • Jamie

    I gotta reverse Perty’s reasoning here a bit:

    Vampire = Scary. Scary= Danger! Danger= Sexy. so, Edward = Vampire AND Sexy.

    Jacob = Wolf. Wolves= dogs. So, Jacob = dog. And beastiality isn’t cute!

  • sjaantje

    Loved your interview! No hate here. I have a friend who just finished reading all four books and I loved calling her to see where she was in the books, hearing her comments and answering her questions.

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