I first read about you long before I had a friend to talk about you with, an actress to put a face to your name or a vision of you as a sub or slutty secretary. And I liked you. I related to you- minus the hot vampire boyfriend part. It was to my surprise when I finally got a friend to read about you, that she wasn’t impressed. Not necessarily with the saga- she liked it enough, but she thought you were…. ANNOYING! And WINEY! And unfair to Edward & Jacob. Okay, I can agree with the last part, especially in Eclipse, but I never really had much to complain about you prior to that.
Turns out, a LOT of people really think you went too far with Jacob in Eclipse. Of course those are the people who are 100% Team Edward. There are also those who think you didn’t go far ENOUGH with Jacob. Those people are crazy and we all agree should be locked up (except for Stephenie Meyer, who we’re 97.6% convinced IS Team Jacob. We need her to stay around to never ever finish Midnight Sun or write about Jashley) I, on the other hand, am also 100% Team Edward, and sure I wasn’t happy about the way you strung Jake along, but on the mountain, after the tent scene, when you beg Jake not to leave and then ask him to KISS you- I’ll admit, I was cheering you on in my head. Of course IMMEDIATELY afterward I felt regret, disgust & guilt, but in the moment I was there with you- urging you on, hoping you slipped a little tongue in, grabbed a hold of his hair and pushed yourself up against him a little harder. I know, I’m a little ashamed of myself.
So it shouldn’t surprise you that on Tuesday evening when I got to see you and Jacob in PERSON on the big screen, my reaction mirrored the one I had in the book. As the moment drew near, I felt the build in my stomach, the shortening of my breath, the beginnings of a cold sweat running down my back. When you demanded Jacob not leave, a smile crept onto my face. It was at that moment when I was distracted by a movement to my left. Moon, in the seat next to me, COVERED her face with her hand. She spread her fingers slightly so she could view the screen, but her stance was one of fear. We must’ve looked ridiculous with my giddy smile and slight bounce in the seat & Moon’s fear of what we both knew was coming. And then it happened. You asked Jacob to kiss you. And he did. Sloppily, too fast, heads moved too much and I’m not sure I saw the french kiss of my imagination, but it happened. And I yelled with joy along with Team Jacob. And when it was over, I felt the utter shame & humiliation.
I think I understand you. I think I understand your plight. You love them both. I love you with them both. I’d love myself with them both even more, especially if it were at the same time, but that’s for someone to write about and send to me secretly so I can keep it stashed in my secret fan fiction drawer next to my bed. Jacob is perfect for you. Jacob understands you. Jacob would be amazing for your future. But Edward is your soulmate. You and Edward are made for each other. You and Edward fit. (Plus imprinting on a child is weird enough. Let’s not add in Jacob imprinting on a child he MADE with YOU!)
So when Jacob sauntered over to you and brought your face close to his and lowered his lips down on yours, I was chanting “Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!” along with the 12 Team Jacob members in the theater. I knew the consequences of the choice I was making (name that quote) but I yelled it anyway. Well, quietly. Cuz I think Moon had a knife in her purse she would have used on me had I vocalized what was in my head.
So you should know you’re not alone. There are those who feel you chose wrong & should have gone with Jacob, but they are crazy people who sleep with wolf stuffed animals. Then there are those who whole-heartedly knew Edward was the best for you from the beginning, and there is a special place in heaven for them with personal mansions filled with rooms specifically for pillow biting, headboard breaking & egg cooking in the nude. And then there are those like me- who hugged a stuffed animal wolf for like 3 seconds once and had a good time doing it, but then threw it in a blender, turned in into cotton & made some sexy lingerie from it which was promptly removed before breaking headboards, biting pillows & showing Jacob how it’s done with Edward, the only one for you!
So you & I considered the other guy for like a half a second, but we chose right! I got your back, Bella!
So… were you like Team Moon covering your face in horror of what was to come? Or are you joining Team UC where you got excited for a split second for the kiss with the boy that almost was the one?