Open Weekend Post: Um, Duh Summit

Dear Summit,

I’d like to draw our reader’s attention to today’s “What the F*ck Moment” courtesy of YOU (yet again)

Seriously? First of all everyone claims they sell “Bella’s Jacket” including my very favorite modcloth.com (which sold out QUICKLY back in 2006- or maybe it was 2009- whatever. FOREVER ago)  MAYBE this is the ‘real’ Bella’s jacket & maybe they shouldn’t be claiming connection to Twilight without permission, but dude. Seriously? Do you guys not have anything better to do other than sue people? You sued a fan (Delaneyg84 on Twitter for those of you in the dark (aka lucky) who loves Robsten & leaked Eclipse stills before anyone else did), you sued someone who took a video camera into a theater & got a shitty capture of PART of New Moon for her digital scrapbook. What’s next?

I figured I’d take the liberty of helping you out with some ideas of who to sue:

  • Olive Garden- for making such delicious breadsticks that Big Daddy, and therefore Taylor, can’t resist. Free advertising for them due to your Golden Boy!
  • All restaurants in New Orleans for using Fish Fry. Harry did NOT okay that
  • The estate of Kurt Kobain for all the flannel he wore in the 90s
  • Bears. Everywhere. Cause they should be wolves. Bella said.
  • Hipsters with mustaches- they didn’t get Charlie’s permission.
  • People holding apples in supermarkets. They don’t have the license to do that- the hand model is the only one allowed.
  • Vampire Diaries- do I have to explain? Vampires? Love story? Love triangle? Twilight did it forty millionth first
  • Spider-monkeys
  • God for not getting permission before the partial lunar Eclipse last Saturday
  • Moon & I for all our wise cracks over the years. BRING.IT.ON. Imagine all the letter possibilities!

That should get you started! Happy suing random people!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Who ELSE should Summit sue!??

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • Anna

    I think the most disgusting part of their law suit is that they want them to destroy all the jackets, don’t they know how many cold people there are in the world, how about they donate them to charity.
    Once again Summit prove to be a bunch of fuck-wits.

    • Tiffany

      what the hell? seriously? god forbid there are people walking around as WALKING ADVERTISEMENTS for their frigggin movies.

  • http://att.net Darkbook108

    Thay also have the right to sue the colors purple and green, when being used in the context of being cool or good. Did Summit authorize anyone to say anything about these colors which of course did not exist before twilight.

  • Carrie Jo

    –Target, for restocking Bella’s bedding without cutting them in on the profits

  • Ellie

    I don’t really know anything about the laws that govern these types of infringements…but if it is the truth…and Summit (via costume dept.) chose to buy the jacket off the rack…then what is the problem?

    In the article, it also states that Summit “wants B.B. Dakota to ‘deliver to Summit for destruction all Bella Jackets.” hmmm…that seems like a little much. Just because Summit uses a jacket in one of their movies, no one else gets to wear it too?

    The only good thing about this request is that it sets the precedence that no one will ever again be allowed to wear any of the Twilight clothing…including the franchise wigs…

  • Tigerkitten36

    Target has the bedding….? I’ll be right back!

    ( like the lady on SNL)

  • lainey53

    I already bought the jacket in the spring when Amaozn had it on sale – whoops – is SUmmit coming to my house to take it away – or will I be arrested if I wear it???

    • Tigerkitten36

      I think Summit should send Rob over with handcuffs to arrest you. Wouldnt you agree?
      .

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  • cdubs

    it physically hurts my heart to give so much money to these douchebags

  • Meredith

    Thanks for the morning laugh (to tears). I needed it!

  • http://cantgoogleeverything.blogspot.com Rachel B

    How about every 14 year old with puffy paint and a tshirt?

  • Owning It

    This letter totally reminded me of a ‘Bothered’ skit on Jimmy Fallon. If they did it, then of course you could sue them for stealing your idea. Or was it Rob’s idea…. or Jimmy’s…. or Edward’s- Wait, can you sue someone fictional??? Boy, Summit must really have their hands full trying to keep track of all of this! Seems like time would be better spent reigning in their wig department, or perhaps sueing them for making ‘hot’, ‘fugly’.

    Babysitter cancelled last night — major cockblocking, as I am still waiting to see Eclipse :(

    • Stacey

      Good luck getting a new babysitter! I haven’t seen it yet either. My husband is supposed to be watching the baby, so I can see it next Saturday. He’s already trying to get out of it. I’m sending the toddler to the grandparents, so I am sure what his problem is. Oh wait, Rob’s in the movie!

      • Owning It

        Sad Panda for you too! We may be the last two LTTers to actually see ‘Leg Hitch 2010′ on the big screen!! Dang unreliable childcare options… too bad we don’t have our own devoted Rosalie lurking around to scoop up our babes and dote over them like her own…. On second thought, perhaps I can wait after all!!!

    • che

      @OwningIt
      your avatar looks perfect for this post

      • Owning It

        ~The bitchface that literally repels litigiousness~

  • Ang

    EVERY restaurant in Forks, La Push, Port Angeles, etc. with a Twilight-ed menu item. Let’s have some of Bella’s mushroom ravioli and top it off with some of Cora’s cobbler before the lawsuit is filed. yum.

    • http://cantgoogleeverything.blogspot.com Rachel B

      Jacob Black-berry cobbler!!

      • Ang

        Spoken like a gal who has tasted it. ;-)

  • Xylem108.9

    Summit need not worry. As soon as the Saga is done, no one will care about what costumes their movie characters wear because no one will know watch their movies… Just like they didn’t watch before. I’m not sure why they don’t understand how karma works, but my guess is they’ll learn soon enough. 

    In the meantime, they should sue Stephenie Meyers  for single handedly  propelling them to a level of success that they were obviously too ill-equipped to handle.

    • Xylem108

      I love my iPhone for it’s creative editing of my thoughts. It knows the words I want to use better than me. .::sarcasm::.

  • Stacey

    What are we going to do you with Summit? They might start going after the little girls w/ the puffy painted shoes or the unlicensed tattoos. It will never end. Hey Breaking Dawn is coming! Watch out Maternity doctors, all those c-sections are next!

    It also took me a second when I realized that Vampire Diaries DID come first. I read them in high school. Maybe due to the show being better. I feel so old.

    • claire’s mommy

      Thank God I didn’t have a c-section for either child. I’d be worried.

      • Stacey

        I’m waiting for my official letter from Summit to put the baby back.

  • Grey Street Girl

    Maybe they’re trying to scrape up some cash to buy better wigs for Breaking Dawn. If that is so, I’m all in favor of them suing the world for all kinds of nonsense.

  • NotWutheringHeights

    Summit could sue any restaurant that dares to serve a Garden Burger, or god-forbid those wretched companies that peddle the ‘tiny bottles’ that kids love.

    How about suing anyone that sells a silver Volvo, yellow Porsche or a red convertible BMW with an “I drive like a Cullen” bumper sticker?

  • claire’s mommy

    On the other hand, Summit shouldn’t have to worry about anyone copying that ugly ass ring!

    • Stacey

      That really wasn’t the best choice for the ring was it. (Sorry Stephenie, but not my pick) It will, however, sell out at Hot Topic. The version at the kiosk at the mall, however, will be pulled to being sued by Summit. That and a lead recall.

      • claire’s mommy

        Seriously the first time they showed it, I said out loud “eurgh” then turned to my husband and said “if you had propsed to me with that thing, I would have said no thrown it at your head.”

    • Nelle

      I can’t wait to see how Summit screws up Bella’s wedding gown.

      • claire’s mommy

        The very prospect frightens me.

        • alisheeba

          Me too! An “inverted Calla Lilly” is VERY clear, I’m dreading seeing them screw that up!

          • loey

            I vote for the formation of a
            Good Taste and an Eye For Beauty Fan Advisory Board
            to help make decisions on such things as wigs, clothing, jewelry, and wedding gowns. They never ask us!

  • sjaantje

    I was at a Cinemagic movie theater last night and they had drinks in their bar named after Twilight characters.

    • Stacey

      Your movie theater is officially screwed. Mostly now, because you know that Summit is probably checking out the site for “ideas”.

      • sjaantje

        They should because the drinks sounded gross. They had one called the Volturi and it was Coconut Rum and Irish Cream. EEEWWW!

  • Luiza

    Owners of “Bella’s Jacket”, prepare! You’ll be arrested. I mean, how dare you?
    Btw, I loved the things you guys said about who should be sued.

  • sonata

    C’mon, guys. You’re being too hard on Summit. They’re just a tiny, up-and-coming, financially struggling studio that is trying to survive and put food on their table. The $10 profit from that $19.99 jacket might be the difference between putting food in their babies’ mouthes or not.

    Now all of this would be different if they’d had, say, three blockbuster movies that raked in more cash than Alice. If they were going to be a greedy douchbag over a coat after that, then they deserve to be pained by Jane, zapped by Kate, stalked by Wedding-Dress-Rosalie, bitched at by Leah, and sloppy-kissed by Jacob, all while James videos.

    • Tiffany

      what I don’t get is the fact that they can assume any profit from the jacket, since the design should be copyrighted by the designer, not the movie the jacket was in. They should be able to stop production of the jacket, only the way its advertised.

    • claire’s mommy

      I just loled so hard my husband looked at me like I hafd lost it. Thanks for that!

  • kitkat

    My friend has one of those jackets that she bought a few years ago, and most definitely owned before the movies came out. What is she supposed to do?

    Suing bears is probably their best bet (that was my favorite. “Bella said.” Shame on you, UC, for making me laugh out loud in the airport. Thanks, Philly, for having free wi-fi though.)

  • MyNieceIsaFanRIGHT

    FAST !!!! Hide those Pattinson Pants!!!!

    Wait, that might be a good thing . . .

    I still can’t stop laughing over “Bears. Everywhere. Cause they should be wolves. Bella said.” You girls make my day on a continual basis – thank you for that!

    Guys, come on. Summit, are you just a little bitter over not making a gazillion dollars instead of measly billions or is this back lash from not realizing you could of gotten money from Twizzlers for using there product in Twilight because I haven’t seen them in the movies since? Fess up, it’ll make you feel better in the long run to get it all out.

  • Tiffany

    ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME?!
    Oh please I already think its creepy how many people are into the twilight series. Like its sort of getting disturbing. It truly is like the biggest thing ever. I totally love it, but it makes me feel a bit like a sheep. Submit suing over something so retarded makes me think that they really expect to have NOTHING after the saga ends. Lets make everything all around the world about Twilight, sorry but Im not that kind of fan, its just a story people.
    your suggestions on what else to sue was AHHHMAZING. haha suing God hahaha…

  • FacePunch

    OMFG – Summit just broke down my door and ripped off my jorts

    • superhumanmoron

      They’ll be back for your screen name! Hide!!

      • FacePunch

        I’ll take care of them; my kung-fu is strong.

        LET’S DO THIS!

        :D

  • operarose

    Watch out, Alpacas. You’ll be next for having the likeness of one of Summit’s main puppets-erm,I mean, – stars.

    (It never gets old.)

    On my way to see it for the 2nd time (and 3rd time?) because my fiance is at his bachelor party. Yes. It sucks. I told him about 100 times last night that when he sees the -uh, adult entertainment tonight – that he will think of Edward. I am pretty sure my Jedi mind tricks will work and I hope that when he looks into the eyes of the -erm, entertainment- he sees…vampire. And be totally disgusted and turned off. (I also told him to close his eyes and think of England. I am actually quite hilarious in real life.)

    I can’t wait to get into that theatre and lust over Jacob and Edward — with absolutely, 100%, no guilty feelings today, and today only.

    • FacePunch

      LOLing @ Alpacas and Jedi mind tricks!

      I loved Eclipse, and can’t wait to see it again very soon! :)

      • operarose

        By the way Facepunch I specifically thought of you when Jacob says “…and she punched my face.”

        I don’t think “face punch” quotes from New Moon and Eclipse and Facepunch the LTT unicorn we love will ever, ever get old! <3

        • FacePunch

          Awwww! :D

          Totally didn’t make the connection when Jake says that! Haha!

        • Monzo

          Hey what’s this Unicorn reference all about anyway?

          • eatmyjorts

            Hey Monzo! Is it not covered in the FAQ section at the top of the page?

          • FacePunch

            Hi, Monzo! A Unicorn is a male that loves Twilight. As in, unicorns are mythical, rare creatures… just like the men who are (and freely admit, without shame) real Twi fans.

            :)

    • operarose

      It was sooo good. Seriously. You should do it again. (twss) And yes, please consider that peer pressure.

      “face it honey, I make you nervous”

      was my favourite quote of the day! *thud*

      • FacePunch

        I am definitely gonna see it again… not soon enough!

        And I remember that “nervous” line… that was great. A funny scene that I liked is when Bella and Alice are discussing the grad party, and Bella gives Jasper this look and says something like, “Remember the last time, ummmm, GTFO.”

  • cgard15

    This is possibly the best letter to twilight I have ever read in my life.

    Job well done….

  • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

    Glad everyone had the LOLs this am!! I’m sitting at LAX, sad to leave Moon & the #leghitch crew but giggling at the comments & other suit(?) ideas!

    Xo

  • Luludee

    - The City of Forks for all the tourist attractions they’ve been using;

    – Cracker Jack for having rings strikingly similar to Bella’s engagement ring, as prizes;

    – Anyone who’s ever punched someone in the face;

  • http://tinyandannoying.com Sara

    Oh man, I’m gonna get mega-sued by Summit. Not only do I have Bella’s jacket, I thought it was an ugly-a** color, so I stripped it of most of the dyes and it’s this cool unique realllly light blue/almost gray. I DEFILED THE BELLA JACKET! :O

  • natashadushi

    What about the Irish? The green t-shirt from Rachelle (the REAL Victoria) ” kiss me I am Irish” ?

  • natashadushi

    And oh….what have we here? Anyone needing a haircut? http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/8633/robykikilunanuevameyer.jpg

    • Xylem108.9

      Oh, they so have it coming now that you’ve outed them! :) and they deserve it too!

  • WakeUpDead25

    How about suing any celebrity who copies Robward’s hair (cough*Zac Efron*cough), don’t they have a trademark on it?

  • Luludee

    I almost forgot about all the moms who’ve given birth in the past few years and named their child “Bella”, “Edward”, “Jacob”, “Alice”, “Jasper”, “Esme”, “Charlie” etc. etc.
    That’s straight up copyright infringement right there. They must either give their children over to Summit or sign over all earnings said children will make when they grow up.

    • rpisthenewps

      Wonder if they’ll want our pets too? Our cats are named Bella and Edward :)

    • Twi-Mom (not like on “O”)

      Thankfully they can save money because they will not have to worry about any infringment on the name Rennnnessssmmmmeeee.

  • MyNieceIsaFanRIGHT

    Does this mean they will pay for the removal of a Twilight tattoo . . . not saying that I’ have any . . . or regretting any . . . but I have this friend . . .

  • Amanda Easton

    Off topic, but must be said. Kristen Stewart has now announced that she’s afraid of being killed by fans. “Assasinated” (like she’s the goddamn president) is the term she used. Is it just me, or is this chick now borrowing from Robert Pattinson’s entire repetoire of learning to be famous moves in an effort to win some fan love? Rob was nervous and awkward and she was a rude, surly bitch. Now, she says she was a rude bitch because she was nervous and awkward. Then she heavy-hands the nervous and awkward, turns that on non-stop, and wonders aloud why it doesn’t work for her the way it did for Rob. We don’t care that you dropped your popcorn trophy and are proud that you didn’t fall at the Oscars. We’re still thinking about you incessantly describing fan reaction as “psychotic” and abusively chastising 12 yr. olds for the quality of their interview questions. We dislike you too. She was weird, and growly and scowly during fan events, when Rob was humbly announcing that the screaming makes him feel like crying at times because he doesn’t want to disappoint the fans and isn’t sure he can be what they want him to be. Her new go-to line is that she nearly cries on the red carpet. He had hair touching. She now nervously buries her fingers in her hair. Rob attributed his nervousness to fear he one day could be stabbed in a crowd. Now she fears “assassination.” Shirley Manson begs us not to make her smile when she doesn’t want to. Cuz for $12 million dollars, we’re destroying the independent artiste Kristen Stewart is becoming by expecting that she promote the movies she gets paid to promote without flipping us the bird, calling us names or criticizing everything we do in supporting her career. She’s just being a kid, dammit and we’re expected to find the crassness and constant bitching and whining as refreshing because at least she’s not phony. It’s amazing. All this, and the chick can’t even act. Boggles the mind.

    • Sj

      Um, just my opinion but maybe a bit less ‘assume we know everything about celebrities’ and more ‘maybe KStew is not the devil incarnate nor Rob the golden light of heaven’. Hem, I mean I am on the LTT blog yes?

      • Amanda Easton

        My thoughts. Yes, I’m on this blog, but I still have my own thoughts. If they were your thoughts, I’m thinking they’d look different, right?

      • Amanda Easton

        And K. Stew is going to have to prove to me she’s not the devil incarnate, cuz i’m not feeling it. I like Rob as the golden boy. That’ll do. LOL.

      • Amanda Easton

        You don’t keep up with the gossip surrounding the Twilight actors? But you frequent a Twilight blog? Hmmm. Really? Finding that hard to believe.

        • eatmyjorts

          Some people here prolly only keep up with the celeb gossip as mediated by our Glorious Leaders UC & Moon, who are in the process of being legally adopted by Stpehenie Meyer herself &/or being stalked by Jackson Catfish Rathbone. Truth.

          You may find that actual gossip regarding these celebs – including Rob & K Stew – is considered fodder for *gasp* humour, & that the blatant hating thing is low low low on the list for appreciation hereabouts. Justincasethisisyourfirstvisit. Feel free to relocate your manners & return in a humorous mood:)

          • Stacey

            Loving everything you said! Let’s bring on the funny! :0) Cause I am heading back into the 93 degree heat for the fourth of July BBQ and need some giggles to get me through.

  • Lily

    sorry UnitendedChoice but if anyone would be suing anyone, Vampire Diaries would be suing Twilight. Vampire Diaries came out in the 90’s and L.J. started an add-on series. So Twilght stole Vampire Diaries

    • Amanda Easton

      Note the sarcasm. I’m thinking she knows this.

      • Lily

        well yeah but still. they could sue every vampire book that came out after them but then there are series like House of Night and Vampire Diaries that have been making vampire books before Twilight and people still say that they stole Twilight. and then i tell them to check the date on the first couple of pages. I mean almost all vampire books today share a lot of pieces of the plot but you can only sue what happened after.
        (and i did note the sarcasm but i made a point to clarify it. i wasn’t trying to be snooty just bringing it to attention)

  • cedvanhalen

    Gah! It PAINS me that I give these people money. And that I am planning on giving them more money tomorrow. They really are a bunch of greedy whores aren’t they??

  • http://tyrabus.tumblr.com/ Samalia

    dear lord ladies, i just spit my vodka-laced dr. pepper all over my computer laughing. at 2:30am.

    when Summit’s above-mentioned lawsuits are played out, might I suggest:
    -Some parents where I live named their kid Bear today. Obviously they’re anti-wolf and stealing lines from NM.
    -Fuck You Bob Evans, SM ordered a fruit plate in Twilight. STOP Copying Summit!
    -You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not say Santa cause it was a line in Twilight. Boom- lawsuit.
    -I hear people knit ugly, ill-fitting, chunky mittens all the time and sell them…
    -Just because Mother Nature is the original rainmaker doesn’t mean you can’t sue her since it was raining during that scene in NM. Use that jacket precedence.
    -Might as well get Solomon Trimble out of the way while you’re at it.
    -I’ve watched a lot of porn in my day and you might want to look into their use of gold brocade bedding. Just sayin’

  • Sj

    Um, is it some big holiday in the USA today? Trying to keep up on my cultural education. Don’t really care about what it celebrates, just want to know if I have an excuse to eat deep fried butter.

    • Luludee

      Yes, July 4 is our Independance Day (from Rob’s homeland).

    • Luludee

      And yes, it is a perfect holiday for eating anything fried and/or bad for you. Middle of summer for us so everyone is “putting another shrimp chicken/steak/burger/hotdog on the barbie” and getting ready for fireworks/firecrackers when it gets dark.
      ;)

  • FacePunch

    Ahhhhh!!! Last nite Tay was at the very theater I previously saw Eclipse in!

    http://www.eclipsemovie.org/taylor-lautner-surprises-fans-in-pittsburg/

    He’s here making a movie… If I happen to see him in town while he’s here, I will be DED.

    My cousin works at this restaurant in (I think?) Burbank, CA, and she has seen him there a couple of times! Says he’s nice and super cute, of course. Lucky beeyotch! :)

  • http://att.net Darkbook108

    Thay can also sue glitter, because only vampires are allowed to sparkle.

  • eatmyjorts

    Hurray! I’m back! I just managed to see Eclipse at a lunchtime sitting in Portsmouth, which was probably smuggled in off a boat by a sympathetic Twifan…so I’m just about to rush off & read everything I’ve missed since the 30th. I was good & didn’t peek once, but it was hell without you….

    DJ – if you had pain in your hand today it’s because I pretended to hold it during the tent scene so I wouldn’t squee audibly. True story. I loved it even if I did spend a couple of seconds thinking ‘Why is Bella Swan in a sleeping bag with a huge set of luminous teeth which appear to be having a conversation with Simon LeBon circe 1982?’

  • Its no irritable grizzly…

    Glittery body lotion ofcourse….

  • eatmyjorts

    Well, I don’t know about Summit getting to sue ANYONE. After my first viewing of Eclipse earlier I distinctly wondered how they haven’t been sued for using clips from Evita, with Madonna, instead of making some new film for Rosalie’s backstory.

    I also think the makers of Narnia may have something to say about the PTSD Mr Tumnus is bound to be suffering after having that tent & all that fighting in his back yard.

    Not to mention Emmitus Decimus Meridius….

    • dionrenee

      Omg, that is soooo funny, i thought I recognized that back yard!! lol….i bet when I watch Eclipse again if I look hard enough I’ll see the wardrobe closet in the trees…

  • eatmyjorts

    P.S. Summit should also be sued by Armadillos for spraypainting one silver & pretending it was an engagement ring.

    • natashadushi

      That ring is FUGLY! (holts breath for Bella’s weddingdress)

    • loey

      Thanks for the perfect description of the UGLIEST ring
      in the universe. HILARIOUS! The real reason Bella didn’t wear it in the tent scene was mortifying embarrassment. Maybe Edward was testing her love. “If you truly love me you will wear the gigantic, cheesy, armadillo ring and believe that it actually belonged to my mother.” Or, good taste skipped a generation,or Alice didn’t have a chance to see it before she could advise Edward. Gah!

  • Tielle

    LJ Smith wrote Vampire diaries in 1991. So StephM should really be the one getting sued from Smith for copying her like…20 years later. Haha. It’s pretty funny since a lot of stuff in Twilight was ripped off from her. The scene where Edward’s trying to convince Bella to stay away from him…& he rips tree roots up & jumps all around…totally copied. It’s a shame because Smith wrote it first, but StephM copied it better.

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