Dear Ashley and Kellan,
I was just perusing the pictures of you two in Women’s Health Magazine. Besides the fact that I love how much you love women Kellan: the Twicons, the Mammogram videos, shoots for WOMEN’S Health Magazine, it just seems like Ashley called you up and asked you to come “help out” and hang with her for the afternoon because someone else wasn’t available or she was bored. I do just love you and Ashley together but I have one question… does it ever get awkward? I mean between you two… you both say you’re such great friends and you hang out and have board game nights (people after my own heart!) and whatever but what happens when you’re on these shoots and your hand’s like right near the “kill zone” and what do you say when you know Ashley tells people if she was stranded on a deserted island with only one cast member she’d choose JACKSON. The catfish, Jackson and not super hot, Jesus lovin’ Kellan? And Ashley why are you waiting around for super whore Jackson? He’s too busy touring in a band with a dude in a banana costume to come to game night! Stop waiting by the phone!
So are you guys friends… friends with benefits… beards (ahem)… or maybe it’s just you’re both who you call when the one you really want isn’t available. AnnaLynn’s sluttin’ it up around town doing whatever she does and Jackson sluttin’ it up around the US “on tour” with the 100 Monkeys or pushing Airbender and trying not to get killed in a protest about how it’s racist. I know UC and I almost were outside the Arclight last week.
Now I definitely know you can just be friends with someone but if either of you ever suggests spin the bottle or 7 minutes in heaven or hid the salami at the next friendly board game night it might be time to DTR. Just Sayin’.
Your friend with no benefits,
So what IS with these two? Sure they say they’re friends but I don’t know if that’s the vibe I get. And HOT DAMN Kellan! Whew. Happy weekend to us all!