I asked LTT friends Alice & Bella from funny, snarky site NotanAddikt (RIP!) to take meticulous notes when Twilight descended upon Belgium. Yes, that’s right- the land of the waffles, beer and monks got a Twilight actor more famous than Philadelphia did (Sorry Jackson & wolf that came with him) Here is their tale:
We don’t know who bribed you into sending Ashley Greene and Xavier Samuel to Belgium, of all places, for the Eclipse premiere, but we sure are greatful. We don’t usually get many US celebrities around here in Belgium. We may be home to the capital of Europe, the best chocolate in the world and a different brand of beer for every day of the year, but the closest we usually get to Hollywood celebrities is when they jet by on their way from London to Paris. We’re not a particularly proud or easily offended nation, so we shrug and turn to YouTube for our Tinseltown fixes. But holy canoly, heavenly forces gathered, planets aligned and Sauron himself must have sent a recommendation letter for Belgium to you, because here they were!
After some resistance from Alice (“I don’t want to go stand between throngs of shrieking teens to see celebrities! I’m better than that!” – she’s such a Bella sometimes) we finally decided to brave the rabid Belgian twihards and purchased tickets for the three-movie marathon in Antwerp that Ashley and Xavier and three-thousand Belgian and Dutch twiteens would attend. (It was the spotting of crazies that finally did Alice in.) We were told that Ash and Xavier would arrive at 7pm, but were recommended to come around 4pm to make sure we got good spots and enjoyed the animation beforehand. Here’s how our day went down…
4:00pm: Alice and Bella are happily shopping in downtown Antwerp.
5:30pm: Alice and Bella are still happily shopping in downtown Antwerp…
6:00pm: Alice and Bella have a long debate about whether to just go for a quick dessert at Wagamama where they had lunch, whether to get another dinner (gotta get that protein in there!), or whether to get their lazy post-menstrual asses to the theatre and just survive on an XL bucket of popcorn and chips.
6:30pm: After half an hour of debating what to do – in which they could have easily had the dang dessert (white chocolate cheese cake with raspberry coulis, y’all) – they realize that it’s just an ordinary weekday for all other normal Belgians, and they’ll be stuck in traffic on the way to the theatre and will likely miss the arrival of Ashley and Xavier (and let’s face it, movie snacks are also deliciously good in all their crappiness).
6:35pm: Alice and Bella hit themselves and each other over the head for their stupidity, while rushing through the supermarket to get big bottles of water to avoid forking out a fortune for expensive tiny diet cokes in the theatre to compensate the excessive salt intake in the near future.
6:45pm: Alice and Bella are stuck in traffic.
6:50pm: Alice and Bella realize they have never been to the theater in Antwerp, and hence don’t exactly know where it is. Bella works up the balls to ask a bald guy in a convertible where the theatre is at the red light. Bald guy flirts with Alice and Bella. Alice and Bella get directions and take off with screeching tires.
Does Belgium throw an Eclipse event to rival the US!? Find out after the jump!
7:00pm: Alice and Bella are lucky and find a great parking spot in a creepy secluded parking lot where they can change into their fabulous LTT t-shirts amidst heroin syringes and dead bodies dumped here and there.
6:50pm: Alice and Bella take a quick picture before facing the madness that is awaiting them.
Throngs of Belgian teen girls have flocked to the red carpet area. They don’t seem particularly rabid or crazy (much to our disappointment) but there are simply many of them, so we head inside and find a good enough spot near the stage where Ashley and Xavier will receive some kind of award or something.
7:10pm: Alice and Bella are extremely happy they haven’t been standing there from 4pm since the announced twilight ‘animation’ is just the dude who almost got that job at the local radio station shouting “Are you excited to see a certain…*checks paper*… Riiiiileeyyyyy???”, followed by tons of screams and the people surrounding us wondering “Was Riley that wolf?” (Alice and Bella bite their tongues multiple times). Well that and announcing like every 5 minutes that they are really REALLY close now (add one ‘really’ every 5 minutes).7:15pm: No sign of Ashley and Xavier. Fashionably late, as expected of them. At this time Ashley probably woke up from her Jetlag nap in her 5 star Brussels retreat.
7:30pm: Still no sign of Ash and Xav. Alice and Bella are not particularly patient people.
7:45pm: Still no sign of Ash and Xav. C’mon now, people, we’ve got a movie we’ve already seen a hundred times to catch.
7:50pm: Ear-deafening screeching erupts outside. They have arrived! Ashley and Xavier do their red carpet thingy – autographs, posing for pictures, short interviews here and there, explaining to our retarded press who the crap they are. Fortunately for us, they arrive inside pretty quickly and are ushered to a small stage in front of a giant Eclipse poster. Somehow, whoever organized this forgot to order a mike, so Ashley and Xavier just stand there on the stage waving and mouthing ‘Hi’ and ‘Thank you’ to the audience, surrounded by a bunch of unknown and hence unimportant people in suits. Very ‘Snow white and Prince Charming in the disney parade’ -ish.
They are presented with a big metal star with their name engraved in it (the ‘best B-list Twi-actors we could get’ award? the start of our very own Antwerp walk of fame? a silly souvenir of which Ashley thought ‘I wish they’d gifted me with a box of Godiva truffles instead’? So many questions, so little people who know what the eff they’re doing…) To top it all off, they send up a waiter with glasses of champagne to the stage, of which Ashley and Xavier sip politely and uncomfortably. Suddenly Ash and Xav are whisked off the stage and… that’s it.
8:00 pm: Mayhem ensues as people try to get to the bathroom, closest snack counter and to the right room of the 12 different rooms that are showing the Twilight marathon. We’re just happy to be finally able to sit down, relax and have some plaid food.
8:30 pm: Twilight is finally starting. And we’ve got two devoted fake members of the Cullen clan in all their team Edward-tees-and-crest-necklaces glory sitting next to us.
8:40 pm: Edward enters the cafetaria. Girls scream. We’re not happy campers.
8:40pm – 0:45am: Teens have been remarkably quiet for the remainder of the movies.
0:45am: Ash and Xav walk in the theater after the radio-dude had to come ask the audience to show a lot of enthousiasm. Only here do Twi actors need a crowd worker, only here... Ash and Xav answer the same questions they had to answer in the other 12 rooms. And the applause already died out before they left the room, even though Ashley was a good sport and asserted that the Belgian audience totally topped American audiences. Myeah… I don’t think we’ll be seeing them here again soon…
1:00am: FINALLY. What it’s all about: Eclipse. Devoted Cullen clan member next to Alice already falls asleep after 15 minutes. Amateurs!
3:30am: We’ve swooned, almost cried happy tears (don’t even ask which scene) and left the theater in a post-coital-like bliss.
4.30am: We’re ready to go to sleep, if only the stupid rooster and birds would STFU.
10.30am: ready to go to work to make up for our lost morning aka emailing back and forth over the awesomeness of Eclipse and ordering tickets for the next day.
Even bigger marathon next year? Defs yes, but that time we won’t skip dessert, not even for Bronson Pelletier!
Alice & Bella
Oh Poor Bronson! Burrrnnn! Is it just me or are European Twilight fans better behaved? What is it? The language barrier? European tattoo artists can’t master “Quil clout lay” in ink? Americans are just crazier? (Probably) Also… oh heyyyyy Xavier!
Did you see our two cute Belgian friends in their LTT shirts!? We want to feature YOU in YOUR shirt! We’ve been collecting them as they’ve been email in- so send us a pic of you in your shirt. Just smile pretty or be creative (EX: Leg hitch your dog)! We can’t wait to see your shining face!