Breaking Dawn, can we just not and say we did?

Dear Breaking Dawn producers-

Can we just NOT and say we did? Or actually we don’t even have to say we did. Let’s just use some sort of flashback or dream sequence and call it a day. What am I asking that we avoid you ask? The birth scene… yup, I’m just gonna ask that we don’t. I was just reading an interview with Wyck Godrey, producer of the Twilight franchise where he explained that he wife was an OB-GYN and that they may need her on set to make sure Edward is making the proper incision for an “oral c-section.” SERIOUSLY? Let’s just not. Please? As if I didn’t already take enough flack for the scene in the book and various other Twilight shenanigans that need explaining to civilians. I just can’t shoulder this one. I’m sorry. I’ll explain sparkling vampires, hot and cold body temperatures, celebacy, mind reading, vegetarian vampirism, bad wigs and anything else about Twilight but I just can’t handle explaining why Edward is tearing into Bella’s womb on a 60 foot screen at midnight.

Can I offer some suggestions or even ideas for how to get around this one so you’ll have more time to focus on how you’re going to make Jacob imprinting on Renesmee NOT weird for the outsider? Oh and nice job side stepping the Jared and Claire imprinting business in Eclipse. Don’t think we didn’t notice!

But anyhooozle, maybe since the story is told from Bella’s perspective we can go inside her mind again a la Twilight the movie after she was biten by James and Edward sucked the venom out. We saw a very abstract, beautiful montage of scenes from the movie, future, past, present, scenery, etc all set to music (sung by Robert Pattinson… oh heeeeey!). Just a thought and then we could see Renesemee lifted up Simba on Pride Rock style and CUT TO BLACK, end of Breaking Dawn Part 1, meet us back here in 2012 same Cullen time, same Cullen channel. OR we see Jacob headed down to kill off the demon spawn yet he’s oddly drawn to her and he doesn’t know why and then BOOM CUT. Multiple options people! I’ve thought about this a lot. Clearly.

Then of course, because I love the idea, let’s make part 2 of Breaking Dawn in 3-D because really it’s just a cool idea. Think about how Stephenie Meyer describes Bella’s first moments as a vampire. She sees light reflection off particles in the air, everyone looks so much different and more beautiful… imagine when she takes that first leap off a rock and over the creek behind the Cullen house IN 3D! It’s like we can experience Bella’s new vampirism right along with her. Sure 3D the cool thing to do in movies now and it can be hella lame but it works right along with the story line. LET’S DO THIS!

True luv

And theeeeeennn there’s that whole Jacob imprinting on Renesmee business. We all know you’re gonna get slaughtered in the critiques for it, we know there’s gonna be jokes EVERYWHERE about it. Let’s just take this next few years to ACCEPT IT NOW. But can I suggest a few things? The way Stephenie describes their imprinting is just so interesting and beautiful…

“Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was – my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self – disconnected from me in that second – snip, snip, snip – and floated up into space. I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. It was the baby girl in the blond vampire’s arms that held me here now. Renesmee.”

Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 18, p.360

Yup, pretty much how I see it

So can we just preserve what little personal pride we’re going to have left when all the vultures and civilians start making this the joke on all the late night chat shows and SNL. Can we do another Bella montage type idea but instead with Jacob where as he’s imprinting we see an OLDER, GROWN UP version of Renesmee and not a kid strapped to Taylor Lautner in a Baby Bjorn! PLEASE! Please.

So producers can we just take these ideas or some other phenominal one you have that does NOT include an on call OB-GYN for authenticity’s sake in the “oral cesarian” and run with them? Please? Cause I really don’t want to have to say you did, when you didn’t have to.

The Lock-NESS-blog-monster, 

What ideas do you have to make some of the Breaking Dawn moment a little more palletable for the movie go-ing audience. What can we do for the people who just DON’T KNOW?
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  • laura

    I have been reading for some time now, and I am not normally bold enough to reply to a post…but, I had to this time.
    I guess I don’t understand how the concepts can be really criticized if they explain them on screen. I think birth scenes have been done for some time, and I understand this one includes blood over the normal liquids but I’m only guessing they are not going to show the entire insides of Bellas stomach area.
    The part that sticks out in my head from BD is when Edward is “kissing her” when in reality he is biting and sealing the cuts. I think the way it was done was very sweet! (it has been awhile since I read the book…my husband is reading it right now).
    As far as imprinting, I think they just have to explain it. It doesn’t have to be shown in a way that has Jacob wanting to throw Nessie on the floor the second he sees her. Showing it as a protective brother may be best and just use words to explain? Am I forgetting things here because I just don’t see a problem with the book.
    I think it would be much easier if the book was not being read by 10-17 year olds, no offense….I just dont think the books are appropriate for that age group…..I think I just babbled a lot….sorry!

    • TeamSeth



  • TeamJacobEdward

    (off topic)

    So I wore one of my new LTT shirts yesterday (that’s normal). My husband and I are bringing the kids to a birthday party.

    HUSBAND: That’s a new shirt. When did you get that?
    ME: (dang he noticed) Just got it.
    HUSBAND: Where? (we’d been so busy he was baffled because there was no way I would have been cloths shopping and I’m not an online cloths buyer)
    ME: (keeping evasive) online
    HUSBAND: (holds back laugh) Where online?
    ME: (crap he knows… still not saying) Um. Cafe Press?
    HUSBAND: (gives withering look like come on tell the whole truth)
    ME: (caves) LTT… I mean Letters to Twilight estore
    HUSBAND: Really? (laughing) You’re wearing a Twilight shirt? (laughs harder) What does that shirt say?
    ME: “Secondhand Embarassment, That’s Normal” basically it means it’s normal to be embarrassed by the crazy Twilight fans
    HUSBAND: You mean people who wear Twilight shirts… like the Twilight shirt you’re wearing right now? (laughs harder if it’s humanly possible)
    ME: No! The embarrassing ones! No one KNOWS this has anything to do with Twilight unless I tell them (or reads this blog)
    HUSBAND: It’s still a Twilight shirt.
    ME: Shut up

    At least he seems to have finally found the humor in my love of Twi… I just wish it wasn’t at my expense. Can’t wait to wear my other one… Wonder what he’ll say about that one. 🙂

    • TeamSeth

      I hope your other one is the Sparklepeen one. Then you can tell him to “suck it” when he makes fun of you.

      • TeamJacobEdward

        Have I mentioned that I love you? 🙂

        Dang it no, it’s not sparklepeen (hehe, my phone recognizes that as a word), it’s break it down. But now I’m sorely tempted to buy sparklepeen now too… No. Must not buy one of every shirt.

        Damn SWD for making awesometastic shirt designs!

        • TeamSeth

          I wish I had the moola to buy every shirt…

          um, ps, your phone recognizes sparklepeen as a word?! That’s super purple.

    • Stacey

      That’s hilarious! I have a whole cover story for my shirt. My husband will never understand. Except to have me committed!

    • JustGoWithIt

      I mentioned before going to see Eclipse that I kind of wanted a Leghitch 2010 T-shirt to wear to the theatre, and my husband cringed in awe of my nerdy fan-girlness. Oh well.
      We recently had relatives come visit, one of which was a 13 year old girl who had a very Bella hair-do. I didn’t muster up the courage to bring up the subject. Lame, since I’m pretty out with my twilight fixation.

  • igoogleit

    I’m so masochist, I wanna see it all on screen and I mean ALL, LMAO

  • Gah I love you Moon!

  • I saw Eclipse for the first time today and this was all I could think about. I noticed they skipped Quil/Claire too…and I just couldn’t see how they were gonna make Jake/Nessie NOT creepy. But I REALLY like your montage-with-older-Renesmee idea! Helloooo? Bill Condon? Did you hear that??

  • JustGoWithIt

    Breaking Dawn, what would I like to see…..and not see…….
    I’d like to see beautiful mood inspiring scenery that was kind of blurry and secondary to the characters faces in Eclipse. I think that is something Twilight did right, the montages could include lots of beautiful nature scenery since they didn’t have to be all up close. I’d like Ilse Esme to be gorgeous.
    I’d like to see Bella’s pregnancy to look really painful and strange like I pictured it from Jacob’s description.
    I do not want to see Renesmee be a pure CGI character.
    Instead I would like Rob and Kristen to have a baby (no really I would LOVE to see that go down), and that baby can play Renesmee. Well, they can hope it is a girl.

  • JustGoWithIt

    And if it is a boy, they can do a re-write for the movie. Speaking of re-writes for movies, my dad suggested that to avoid the whole wig problem Eclipse had, they could have written in a black mullet for Bella. She enters the scene sporting her Joan Jett mullet, and Edward asks what happened. She says “what, I got my hair done. I wanted to try something new”. He says “A mullet, really?”. And then they must move on from there with the rest of the movie. I would pee myself laughing.

    • OutOfF(l)avour

      oh shit yeah! i love it!

      p.s. I also really love your name 😀

  • SamDarkSun

    I think I can handle the birth scene however it turns out. It probably won’t be my favorite, but I can deal with it and I don’t much care what any of the outsiders in my life think about it.

    Jacob imprinting on a child, ANY child, continues to creep me out. No matter how many times I read Breaking Dawn I can’t get my mind around it and make it ok. I’d really love it if the movie didn’t make it visual for me but I’m sure they will…I’m really not looking forward to that.

  • I really, really want to work on BD so bad! It is my favorite book…

    I have ideas man!! Ideas!!!

    & my “Olympic medalist” sized dream is to be a director someday!

    Dude, Steph (don’t worry I am not on the complete first name basis with you yet) o-Goddess Devine, please use your Executive Producer power to get me on crew to be the assist to the assistant of Bill or even you or Melissa or the guys who start storyboard or WHOEVER!!! GAH!

    ps. I finally saw Eclipse for the first time after the two times I saw it in the first 30hrs… and IDEAS MAN!!! is all I can say =]

  • OutOfF(l)avour

    NO! – when are we ever gonna be able to see rob pattinson performing an ‘oral c-section’ again! this is like a once in a lifetime opportunity, people! okay, so I don’t really like the phrase ‘oral c-section’ (uurrgggh, absurd), but this really is something I want to see.

    I don’t want them to shy away from it – its MEANT to be gruesome, disturbing and graphic. Or at least it is when it is first told from Jacob’s point of view – so bad that he wants to bleach or burn away the images of the screaming, bleeding, crunching and snapping! GROSSNESS!

    But having said all that, I REALLY don’t think they will show it in an overly gruesome way anyway – i’m not sure that it would be able to keep its PG-13 rating, and it would be a shame if the younger twilight fans weren’t allowed to see the movie.

    But i do hope that it is slightly more detailed than Bella’s point of view of the birth (blackness, blackness, voices, blackness, Edward debating over morphine, blackness, losing time, Jacob yelling, light, Renesmee, MORE blackness….geez).

    Perhaps they can come to a happy medium?

  • frightenedflips

    BD in 3D……!!!!!!! We have to call someone who knows someone. This HAS to happen!
    Steph!!!! ???? Can you hear us?

  • applecart

    I’ve got a theory……… (apologies if some-one else has already observed this). I reckon that those women who have had children will probably be ok with the Oral C-section (and probably get some form of enjoyment watching it).

    As a mum of 3, (emergency C first time & second time with twins) at the end of my pregnancies I would have been fine with my husband getting them out by an Oral C. Sounds gross, but really once you’re pregnant there is no glamour and you quickly realise your body no longer belongs to you! And that’s even before you go into labour.

    Don’t get me wrong, I loved being pregnant, even with full on morning sickness for 20 weeks. With the twins I threw up so hard I burst blood vessels in my eye! It was still an amazing & wonderful experience.

    I’ve related in the extreme to interviews I’ve read with SM talking about babies / children who don’t sleep. I think women start to realise the birthing and all that it can entail is the easy part once they actually become a mum!

  • applecart

    Moon – love the 3D idea

  • MyNieceIsaFanRIGHT

    Had to double dose on LTT today. HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN !!!! I KNOW!!!!

    Once again, you girls nail the fears I have been feeling. Can we say PLEASE DON’T loud enough. Now I have to go back and fit in reading everyone’s posts . . . because LTT is just not LTT without the posts . . .

  • Eci_call

    i say we inclued the birth!!!!! and all of the honeymoon scenes!

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