Thursday Twilight Video to cure those July Blues

Dear Twilight,

I generally save videos for Open Weekend Posts, but I’m kinda in the mood for a big laugh today. I don’t know about you, but I’m in a major slump. Probably because I’m coming off my June-high & it’s mid-July & nothing is going on in my life. And boxes are yet to be unpacked STILL in my apartment, I can’t find curtains for my 13′ windows, Eclipse buzz has died down (I only saw it twice and am not even sure I’m going to go for a third time. Bad Fan? Or blame it on the July blues?) And I’m clearly PMSing. Obviously. Not to mention today is THURSDAY, not Friday, and I really need it to be Friday.

Anyway, The Stacey’s sent this to me (actually I think just one of them sent it to me & just copied the other. I get confused though- the Staceys are two girls named Stacey who met on LTT and are basically the same person except not. They even use the same email company which REALLY confuses me. I really need to learn which last names belongs to whom. But that takes effort & I already told you- it’s Thursday. Effort was over by Monday at 10 am) ANYWAY, I laughed the entire 6 min. and 11 seconds this was playing. It really makes me wish that Moon & I could blog full-time. Do you KNOW the amount of videos & audio masterpieces we would produce? We have epic instructional videos in our idea book that are just dying to be made. We discussed tonight the need for Moon to obtain a sugar daddy, since Mr. Choice, while a lovely husband, is not that. Moon is headed to Africa next week*, and so I suggested she meet a Kenyan Royalty. She said she’d hop on over to Dubai and meet a Sheik and become his LA Harem girl. I’m allowed to join the Harem too, as long as I show the Sheik the Leg Hitch.

Anyway, that’s a letter for another day, our scheme to find sugar daddys so we can blog about vampires full-time. For now, there’s just laughter and the refusal to admit it’s only Thursday:

There! Now don’t you feel better!? (Sorry if you’re stuck at work, unable to watch this video. I feel really badly for how much your day is going to suck as a result. Watch it immediately when you get home- before you pet the dog, take off your shoes, kiss your man or feed the baby. Trust me)

One day until Friday,
UnintendedChoice

PS: If you happen to be a Unicorn Sheik Sugardaddy from Dubai or Kenya country, Moon will be there next week- do you mind sitting down for a one-on-one with her? See how you guys get along? She just wrote a pretty amazing one shot lesbian fan fic in our most recent chat session that she promises to release under a penname if you can sugardaddy our way to full time vampire-blogging. Thanks

*Moon really WILL be in Africa (flying through Dubai!) next week! She leaves a week from today and will be disconnected for TWO WEEKS. Don’t ask me how I’ll get through. I have no idea. I do know that on the second part of her trip, I will also be away on vacation….SOOOO that means we need YOUR help! Send in your bestest, most creative letters to letterstotwilight@gmail.com for us to consider sharing with the world while we’re busy meeting Sheiks and eating crab cakes at the beach!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • Not Quite Normal

    Ha ha ha ha ha! “How Twi-hards feel about K-Stew!” Simply fabulous!

  • JodieO

    Vacation? Both of you? aiiIEEEEE!!

    Ok, you have 13′ high windows?! I can only suggest that you make your own curtains. Very easy, I promise. Lemme know if you need me to talk you through it.

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      Yep, make your own. Easy, and you get a wider selection of fabrics to choose from. Good luck.

      • JodieO

        Unless she wants to come up this way and we could take her to Mahhhden’s or Reny’s.

        • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

          YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Elliebelle

          I miss chez mardeen and reny’s so much.

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            Displaced Mainer?

    • snowwhitedrifted

      Ooohhhh, 13′ windows = pretty!

    • Stacey

      Try Smith & Noble online, UC. Our windows have weird sizes and we sent them the window measurements and got the perfect fit. They might be able to help!

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  • DanySpike

    BHWAHAHAHAHA Hillarious! “I would kill you if you weren’t dead already” LOL

    So Moon is going to Africa?? That sounds great! Do tell her that I’d happily join the harem too. Just give me a call, I could give that Sheik that chilean kiss Rob mentioned a while ago ;)

  • http://www.twitter.com/antisocialangel fangbanger

    Bwahahaha! Love it!

    This video just made me really consider asking for Edward and Bella (AND Soookeh and Bill) Barbies for my birthday. Normal.

    Hope both of you have tons of fantastical fun on your trips! Africa sounds amazing. I’m verrrrrrry grape jelly.

    Ps. Hope the peacock issue got taken care of. They are SO freakin loud. When I was a kid, I thought that was the sound of aliens because one lived a block away… I was a weird kid. Obviously.

    • TeamJacobEdward

      Peacock? My neighbor has peacocks. When we moved in we kept hearing this odd sound almost like a weird crying/dying cat sound and couldn’t figure out what the hell it was until one day we saw the peacocks.

      I thought it was an odd thing to have, but apparently more common than I realized if you knew someone who had one and uc has an issue with one

    • Alice_NaA

      barbie Edward is HOT.

      • snowwhitedrifted

        Put him in the freezer, for effect.

  • TeamJacobEdward

    Hahaha! That was great!

    Edward should have mentioned keeping his virginal status for over 100 years… Maybe that would have swayed the host. ;)

  • purplescool

    That video was genius & hilarious! Thanks for starting my day off w/ lots of laughs!

  • Stacey

    East coast Stacey, here. That awesome video was sent to you by West Coast Stacey! I’m glad she sent me the link yesterday, even though my kid came in and asked for a Edward doll. That’s not good. (I have never turned a computer off so fast! She was supposed to be napping!) She does have good taste though. (I’m guessing she’s Team Edward!)

    Thanks UC and Moon, for bringing us together! Not only did we have almost the same majors in college, we started out with same majors that we changed. Oh and we were in the same sorority on opposite coasts. Okay, it’s getting creepy!

    • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

      SOUL MATES!

      • eatmyjorts

        Hey UC! I have sent you stuff – did you ever get it?

      • snowwhitedrifted

        I get confused on our emails back and forth too, they’re all signed “stacey”. I forgot which one I am.

        • Stacey

          I just sent you an email and when I signed it, I realized we might need nicknames.

    • StotheP

      Hey. You’re doing it wrong.

      It’s S-T-A-C-Y.

      <3,
      Me with no E

      • Stacey

        Wait…you’re a Stacy(with a no E) too! Whoa this is getting crazy. Where are you located? Because, if you live in the middle of the U.S., we’ll have the whole country covered not just the coasts!

        • StotheP

          NE Texas! National domination is at our fingertips. Let’s start with Rhode Island. I bet we can take ‘em.

          • snowwhitedrifted

            OMG- we are the holy trinity of Stac(e)ys!

    • JustGoWithIt

      My little guy (he is four) asks about vampires a lot. But I swear he heard the word used while people were making fun of me for my recent fondness for a certain movie saga and television series. Although he must pick it up from other sources too. Once I channel flipped by “Twilight” on TV just to get a quick glance, and right away my little boy asked if the person on screen was a vampire, even though they weren’t doing anything that would indicate such a thing. I don’t remember if it was kstew or rpattz on the tv at the time. I laughed.

      • Stacey

        My daughter learned the word vampire from Dora the Explorer Halloween. Boots the Monkey was dressed up as a vampire. Now if she says the word,”vampire” her dad thinks she means Boots.

  • natashadushi

    I cried my eyelashes out laughing watching the video. That my friend was funny as Jasper’s wig…

  • http://twitter.com/shleeeigh Shleeeigh

    vHarmony.com? If only…

    • Stacey

      The only problem is, as illustrated by the vampire Ken dolls, is that it would be an all you can eat buffet. At least, the True Blood ones because that’s how they roll.

  • TWIPAM

    STUCK AT WORK! Is it 5pm yet?! Can’t wait to get home and watch it… :(

    Have a great time in Africa, Pls keep in mind aswell.. GOD knows I need a Sheihk Sugar Daddy…so that I could read LTT all day…

    • TWIPAM

      Mean- keep ME in mind..for the Harem *typofail* DEF need cofee….

  • Sj

    Wow, so many male dolls. My one & only Ken was forced to be such a slut, except when I could sneak GI Joe away from my brother.

    Have fun on your hols. Remember to come back. We know your real name now Bunny, we can track you down.

  • Alice_NaA

    I immediately had to think of SATC when I heard Moon is going to Africa.

    P.S. I can recommend a very geographically apt fanfic in case that Sheik ain’t all that…

  • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

    Super funny. Sort of makes me think I should start watching True Blood.

    Hey Alice and Bella: While UC and Moon are jetting around, how about you guys write us a letter about how the story would have been different if it took place in Belgium? Or, (to all our international friends)
    anywhere else in the world – S. Africa? Australia? England? Bangladesh?

    I would write a letter about what it would be like if Bella and Edward lived in Maine (wicked!!) but it would only be funny to Midnight_Cyn and JodieO.

    • Sj

      An Aussie Edward? oh my brain is hurting. I’m going to be sizing up every guy I see today.

      We do however have plenty of Jacobs (which is more than fine with me).

    • O.M.E.

      I watch True Blood, but the books were sooo much better. HBO changed it a lot. And you can’t really compare the two series. Twilight is about love eternal. In True Blood (the books) Sookie doesn’t even stay with Bill. The books were a fun read though.

      • snowwhitedrifted

        Awe man, spoiler alert there. I’m only on book 5.
        ;( no more sookie nookie with BIll?

        • Stacey

          Don’t worry about Bill…two words, good Eric.

          • O.M.E.

            sorry to spoil. for real. eric is hot and sexy with her though and there is other goodness too. enjoy! they are good.

    • Alice_NaA

      I wouldn’t mind reading about Edward and Bella in Maine…

  • Sj

    Dear Moon, while in Africa will you attempt to re-enact fav. film set in Africa.

    I myself would go for a trilogy of Out Of Africa(I make any any excuse to say ‘Arrrrf-reecaar’), African Queen (except the leeches part), and The Lion King (except father getting killed by psycho uncle).

    Although with the sheik harem thing it sounds like you’re aiming more for The King and I – with song & dance numbers! Maybe call The Condom for tips (snicker) before you head off. I’m sure he won’t mind.

  • Robsessedgirl

    HAHAHAHAH. & yes, I watch TB and love it(I also read the books) though Twilight will always be #1 in my heart.

  • Nikki

    That was HILARIOUS but very embarrassing when my husband walked in the room and asked, “What the hell are you watching!?!” :)

  • StotheP

    This video has to be from Rifftrax. Or someone else sounds exactly like Crow T. Robot. Love, love, love.

    About that Bill doll. Seriously? That is a Benicio del Toro Barbie. And everyone knows Benicio del Toro is Wolfman. If they were just going to pick Random Brunette Male, I wish they’d gone with some sweeter candy.

    Like this: http://www.mwctoys.com/images/review_neo_1.jpg

    Imma go write my Santa letter now. I think I just figured out what I want in my stocking this year.

    • northernlights

      Neo-doll… Died laughing.

  • lieutenant.twilight

    I wish I could watch this… sooo lame to be at work!

    ALSO, I was in Africa last year Moon! I hope you have lots of fun!! I went to Uganda and had a blast! (Even tho everywhere I went I was required to have at least 2 guys with me… for protection, and bc I was there with the Army and my commander said so!) But for serious, I love Africa!

  • thatonewiththerednails

    Wow, i am fangirling like an idiot when i read that Moon is flying via Dubai… This is really something especially that here, nothing twi-related happens and nothing will ever happen. *wipes tear*

  • Luludee

    Have fun in Africa, Moon!! It’s very different from here, but it’s amazing! I hope you have a great experience while you are there!

    Tip: bring lots of wipes – like Fresh ones or Cottonelle/Charmin wipes. I know you aren’t really going for “pleasure” and even if you were, they’d more than come in handy, trust!

  • 3hboyshouse

    I loved this video! Thanks for not waiting until Friday. The hubs is a True Blood fan so I can’t wait to show it to him.

    I will get started on my letter to Rob this afternoon! I hope Moon has a great time in Africa, but really how will she ever survive without LTT/LTR! :) 0

  • Luludee

    I just noticed the big Progressive Insurance Ad on the right, and I am finding that highly amusing, given the earlier mention of the Moon/Flo slight resemblance.

  • snowwhitedrifted

    Ha ha ha, seriously, UC, we 2 Staceys are the same person (or cosmic twins), we just live on different coasts.
    -we like the same shows
    -we have 3 year old daughters
    -same names
    -same snarky humor
    -have high maintenace cats
    -same sororty (different schools)
    -both theater/ art majors
    -both graphic designers/ illustrators
    -and both of our husbands look like comedic actors and hate vampires and the Red Sox.

    …it’s like when Joey met his identical hand twin.

    • Stacey

      We also like to reference Friends. One more addition to all our similarities!

    • Lovespelledbackwards

      I wanted to be a Stacey – till I read the thing about husbands hating the Red Sox…. boo. (Boston born, transplanted out west.) I am a Graphic Designer too thou! Graphic Designers RULE!

      • Stacey

        Yay Graphic Designers! My husband actually, went to college outside of Boston (Babson). I’m surprised that his Yankees loving self wasn’t beat up. I have no baseball favorites. (except the baseball playing Cullens. And that’s only trying to figure out if Edward gave Emmitt the finger.)

  • Twi-Mom (not like on “O”)

    I just got to sit and watch this. I have to say it was great!!! The matching 80′s Soap Operaish Sparkle Outfits were beaut.

    “His idea of a date night is sitting in a meadow and that is it” HAHA.

    Thanks for the pick me up.

    P.S. Did I tell you all I met a real live Unicorn the other night!! He even has that crappy book we would never want to read on his computer. But I did have to get on to him because he had not let his GF know about it. She did not even know about MS. I almost asked for both their fan cards back!!

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  • Robsessedgirl

    Oh I can see this. This is how the verbal Edward/Bill fight would go:
    E:”At least I’m not old and wrinkly. Can ya even get it up anymore?
    B: Yessir. At least I’ve gotten some recently!
    E: Low blow low blow. I do in BD(more than enough, bitch!)
    B: Uh huh. You sparkle.
    E: I am (and always will be) more attractive that you.
    B: True. I do have a rather odd face…..
    E: It’s not that bad.
    B: Why thank you. Say, would you like to have a threesome with me and Sookeh?
    E: Uhh, what do you think my answer is?*does it, returns hours later to Bella*
    B: Where have you been!?
    E: Discovering the female anatomy! Bella we have to try this!
    Awh, I love a happy ending! :)

  • bookworm

    not even hallmark could express my sympathy. lol.

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