From here to Breaking Dawn, the timeline

*Stay tuned for a VERY IMPORTANT note from UC and Moon at the end of this post*

Dear Breaking Dawn (uno and dos),

You are quite a ways off, especially in our ADD, RIGHT NOW, twitter update, I knew it before you did, always connected obsessed world. So what are we do do for the next 2 PLUS years?!!!?!! That’s a lot of time! Houses are built, babies are conceived AND born, people meet and break up. What will happen in the world of Twilight over the next two years?

I’ve come up with a timeline for what I think the next two years in the Twilight fandom will look like…

September 2010 – Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas elope to Las Vegas and make “Ashoe” official

October 2010– Sales on Loquat costumes on regrEtsy go through the roof

November 2010 – Breaking Dawn begins filming in Vancouver and Louisiana. Louisiana considers renaming their sta Twilousiana because of the jump in tourism courtesy of crazy Twihards. They reconsider after the crazy Twihards test their police and emergency services to their limits in an effort to keep the cast somewhat safe.

December 2010 – Moon and UC celebrate 2 years of blogging about Twilight and Robert Pattinson

-100 Monkeys, Sam Brady (typo and it stays!), Bobby Long, Marcus Foster, Kiowa Gordan and his band Touche, Tinsel Korey and Mike Welch on vocals and Sage come together in whatever town Breaking Dawn is filming in for a special Christmas benefit concert. Before the cops bust in and arrest them for noise complaints they all gather on stage and sing “We are the Rob.”

January 2011 – Moon and UC sue 100 Monkeys, Sam Bradley, Bobby Long, Marcus Foster, Kiowa Gordan and his band Touche, Tinsel Korey, Mike Welch and Sage for stealing their hit song “We are the Rob.”

MMMMmmmm doughnuts!!

– Robsten breaks up, on set, over an argument about a flannel shirt and a jelly doughnut
– Robsten reunites 3 days later over a French Cruller in craft services

Follow the cut for the rest of the timeline and to read our VERY IMPORTANT note

Hmmmmm breaksticks

March 2011
– Moon spots Big Daddy at an Olive Garden in Los Angeles. After almost choking on her 4th basket of breadsticks she sends a bowl of pasta fagioli, a jug of the house wine and a gift certificate to get his cholesterol checked to his table with a note that reads, “Salud from your biggest fans and ardent admirers. To your health! Love and fried fish, LTT PS tell Chris Hansen to suck it”

May 2011 – a judge throws out Moon and UC’s lawsuit and sentences all parties involved to community service for the absurdity of the lawsuit, the song and those people’s connections to the Twilight franchise.

July 2011 – Taylor Lautner and Tom Cruise unite to film a father/son cop  movie

September 2011 – Kristen cuts her hair into a mushroom bob shape for her turn in the Dorothy Hamill biopic spawning all new nicknames (mophead, penishead, etc etc) and she is forced to explain why her hair is growing out from the shape of a mushroom during the Breaking Dawn press junket.

November 18, 2011 – Breaking Dawn Part 1 is released. #PillowBite2011 happens. Girls are arrested, BevMo’s go out of business, we’re forever banned from the Best Western hotel chain and Rob learns how to get himself out of a locked rented Rondo’s trunk with a plastic spoon from Pinkberry and an empty bottle of Makers.

December 2011 – Moon and UC celebrate 3 years of blogging

Hmmmm Chip and Dales

February 2012 – Kellan wins an Oscar for his role as a male stripper turned pastor to blind children

May 2012 – Robert Pattinson turns 26 and celebrates by getting rip roaring drunk and kisses TomStu on the mouth. With tongue. Paparazzi catch the moment and the pair grace the cover of The Advocate and are tapped to star in Milk and the Brokeback Mountain remake.

June – October 2012 – Stuff happens

November 16, 2012– Breaking Dawn Part 2 is released. #DemonSpawn2012 (name TBD) happens. We visit #pillowbite2011 girls in the local Women’s prison. We invest in red contacts to scare the shiz out of waiters and any cast members we run into. BevMo’s go out of business, The W hotel chain bans us from their hotels for life. KrazyKidd’s Tia and Tio get us back in with the management at Best Western.

November 17, 2012– Moon and UC buy a farm and retire forever. Stephenie Meyer begins writing the follow up to Twilight. Twitter is suddenly faster and fail whale free as fans have nothing left to say. Rob shaves his head and walks into the woods nearest Los Angeles to disappear for 8 months and not have to hear another scream or words like “panty poof,” “OH MAH GAWD YOU’RE SOOO HOT,” and “Robsten” from anyone. Kristen starts a wig company. Taylor buys lifts for his shoes from the “Tom Cruise Collection.” Big Daddy invests in an Olive Garden franchise.

Can’t wait for the next two years. Any more ideas as to what it will hold?

And now for a word from your bloggers-

Dear friends and faithful readers,

With the above timeline in mind UC and I have been thinking about what the next two years will look like on LTT and LTR. As you know we started these blogs in 2008 and have faithfully updated EVERY DAY come hell or high water, holidays or vacations and have loved it. You’ve made the grueling schedule so worth it. We’ve fulfilled almost every one of our personal goals for the blogs and still can’t believe our luck. But staring down the barrel of 2 years with little updates between filming and film releases we are worried about keeping our content fresh, fun and not boring. And we don’t feel so fresh. In fact I feel about like KStew’s mullet at Comic Con. Grease ball status. And NO one should be forced to witness that more than a day or two in a row.

So we’ve conferenced and prayed to our Rob shrines, and called Kellan for spiritual guidance (read: make out) and said a couple hail Stephenie’s and came to a decision. We’ve decided to modify our posting schedule to reflect that and also to give us a bit of a lighter schedule, more time personal AND to just BE in the fandom like you guys are. With that in mind here is what we plan to do…

Post 2-4 times a week. Of course this could be more depending on the news. Robsten breaks up? We’re there! Reneseme is cast? We’re SOOO there! Stephenie hates Midnight Sun so much she finishes writing it and sends us a reader copy for review? We’re there with m-er ef-ing bells on while doing backflips in Bella’s prom dress!

The posts may be at 8AM or they could be at 12AM when inspiration strikes. Want to know WHEN we post? Sign up for our email alerts (or enter your email into that box in the column over there) and you’ll know the second we hit that precious “publish” button.

We’ll still be on Twitter and Facebook and loving every minute of it.

We’re still gonna be around, just not every single stinking day at 8AM. We still love Twilight. We still love to “Break it down.” We still begrudgingly put up with the Robsten drama and most of all  we still love you! Forever and ever, amen!

You can understand our need for this right? We’re still gonna be around just not all up in your grill every day. We need a little refresher, a little personal time with the people in our day-to-day lives who have to listen to us talk about stuff like “imprinting” and “nonsten.” Heck, I still need to finish reading Water for Elephants and write my personal review of Eclipse. WTFLOLBBQ>!!!??!:!@

So we’ll still be around just a little bit less… but a lot more fresh. Fresh to death, if you will.

Moon and UC

Our internet game WILL ALWAYS be ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

  • lapushbaby

    You have RULED for so long, you deserve a little break. Thank you for bringing the funny every day for as long as you have!! I will await each update anxiously on Teh Twitter….

    Biiiig Love,

  • bikechick3

    Come on, girls. Tell the truth. You just need time to catch up on the fanfiction, amIright?

    It’s okay! We understand!

    JK! take a break or at least a breather, you both deserve it!

  • yertlesmom

    While I have to admit that this nearly broke my heart–I and some many others look forward to reading you guys every day!!!!!!!–I support you both in trying to have more of a real life. I already signed up for email alerts of your future posts. Here’s hoping that Rob, Kristen, Robsten, Taytay, Nikki, Jackson, BooBoo (I can’t believe I just typed that) and all the rest do a lot of silly stuff in the future so we hear from you often. Three cheers for UC and Moon!!!

    • TeamSeth

      I can’t believe you just typed BooBoo either. 😉

  • frightenedflips

    Imma put on my Leghitch 2010 LLT-shirt and cry myself to sleep in it.
    Someone start a blog to help a sister out with LTT withdrawels..!!!!!!!
    Seriously, I know its been said, but I have been wondering how the hale you two kept it so good for so long. (and not get fired from RL jobs)
    Thank you with all my heart !!!!!

    • TeamSeth


  • TeamSeth

    Long Sigh.

    I knew this day would come, I just didn’t realize it would be before my 1 year anniversary in September. SO CLOSE!!!

    I won’t lie–when I saw, “A special note from Moon and UC” I immediately thought, “YAY! Another photoshop contest with a fake prize!”
    …and then that “Come and take a walk with me” feeling set in. With dread in my heart and the Eclipse soundtrack in my ears, I hurriedly clicked Continue reading, still hoping for it to be the contest after all, even though I knew better.

    But before it’s as if you never existed, I can promise you one thing (if it’s not too much to ask):
    I will most certainly do something stupid with his copstache, for Charlie’s sake.

    • aleisha

      Very funny. I just hope, for all of us, that it’s a clean break.

  • TheRedHead

    It feels like graduation…just need valedictorian Anna K to tell us it’s OK to screw up and make our own way in RL…will you gals sign my yearbook? BFF’s and KIT!

    • TeamSeth

      Wow, that made me remember the embarrassing moment senior year when I had to ask what KIT meant despite having it signed in my yearbook for the past 7 years.

  • celestialchic

    sad face for me. happy face for you.

  • noclevernameyetandnowitstoolate

    Hey, I’ve only commented once before, but I just wanted to thank you ladies – UC, Moon and the rest of you – for the daily laughs. When I found this blog just a few months ago, I was immediately hooked and thankfully no longer alone in my twi-craziness! Nice to be Normal. It’s amazing that you were able to post daily for this long, so thanks, enjoy more of your RL, but I’m glad you’re not leaving us for good… I need my laughs!

    • It’s NOT too late! Just because I made a total crap effort to have a funny name doesn’t mean you have to!!


  • loey

    Congratulations! A perfect plan. You get to have more personal time and I get to go to bed at a decent hour, and still LMAO a few times a week. It’s not like you’re leaving us all alone and sobbing while curled up on the floor of a dark, creepy forest. Nosireeee. Send that email alert and we’ll meet you in the meadow. Thank
    you both for giving so much time and effort all along and for continuing while maintaining your sanity.

    • “we’ll meet you in the meadow” – YES! If only we could…would that not be the best? All of us, cross-legged, chin in hands, in a big circle for Storytime With Moon (and UC- of course!!).

      • TeamSeth

        And Jackson busts out the guitar, “We Are The Rob” while SnowWhiteDrifted hands out some of her stellar designed graphic tees.

  • aleisha

    Wondering how often during the timeline KStew will tell us that she REALLY does care!!

  • TheColdWoman

    I’m a day late with my post but I still wanted to say

    Dear UC and Moon:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for the continuous funnies and essentially devoting yourselves to LTT and LTR (every. stinkin’. day. … amazing!). I’ll miss you but “time passes…” (insert rest of quote from New Moon here). See you next post!

    All the best,

    • TeamSeth

      But you’ve just pointed out what’s so great about them taking time off… you can’t comment a day later any more because it’s the same post as yesterday!

  • j9necessary

    Sad, sad, sad day for me and all your fans….brought tears to my eyes…really!

    I do understand and wonder how you wrote the daily blogs for as long as you have. I probably will never meet either one of you but feel such a close connection to you both AND to all the other “normal” people who comment on the site. Enjoy your “other” family and friends! Life is too short to feel that much pressure everyday!

    Hugs and Kisses forever!

  • Vi

    haven’t commented in a while, but i’ll always be lurking like tom stu.

  • kristen’s bestie

    Time to start going through the archives and reading letters I missed *sniffles*

  • Midnight_Cyn

    Already I can’t stand this!!! Yes I want UC/Moon to get some rest and time off but I feel like a sheep wandering around aimlessly in the meadow! Everything feels “off”..I survive by routine and I feel so lost….Eveb my coffee didn’t taste right w/o the usual tears of laughter watering it down, my sense of time is all screwed up..8 am..hit post…whoa what is this I see???? Ugghhh
    I am not handling this well at all………

    • 🙁

      Sorry, Cyn. Thinking of you.

      (I, however, am taking this very well…right? I mean, I keep checking the site in case they post and for some reason my email alert doesn’t work but that’s normal, right?)

      • Midnight_Cyn

        Hi NCN: This is awful isn’t it! I know I have no right to be so selfish, but this is …OUR PLACE.. for friends to hang together, like the virtual coffee shop we always knew where we could come to every day (even when I wasn’t able to post, I was here) to laugh, joke, share our lives. I know UC/Moon need rest but they created this incredible community and it is so special…what scares me is that I know it will eventually dwindle as time passes, people will stop checking in, we’ll lose touch etc..I just can’t stand the thought of it…..:(
        I don’t know why they couldn’t let ppl volunteer to help maybe taking turns posting a letter for them or something..that way they could have more time but there would be a new subject daily for us to comment the weekend I making any sense???

        • TeamSeth

          You’re making sense. I was talking with Ang today about how now it’ll be like a weekend post but 3 times a week. Or something like that.

          But, if you need routine, I’ve started a city photo blog (nothing like this, just 1 photo a day) that posts every day at noon your time. It’s no 8am, but, you know, it’s still routine. (and you can see the ‘other’ Portland)

          Sigh. It is hard. I agree. Even going back to read the archives, you know you can’t comment or whatever cuz there’s no one to read it. SIGH.

        • ForEveralurker

          I know what you mean. what is surprising is that members have taken this in stride (so well ) its as if they all knew it was coming – except me of course. No withdrawals – nothing.

          I said it before, I feel quite lost in the interweb. Every where you go Robsten reigns and that includes all Rob sites – Why can’t they just label twilight the Robsten saga. really it makes sense. Am not that kind of person who Oogles pictures, I get bored easily and thats why this place was the best for me –

          Anyway life must go on. I guess we just have to figure out what to fill our LTT/LTR slots. I HATE CHANGE but all my love to UC & Moon – enjoy your break or even not so you can come back to us. I must stop now…

  • twiprof

    thank you UC and Moon.
    anytime I do get a posting sent to me, it will be christmas morning….everytime.
    thank you for helping me feel normal
    because….that’s normal.

  • Oh Ladies, we’ll still read your blogs even if you post once in a blue moon. We’ll miss reading you with our morning coffee, but we’ll be fine. You need to take care of you.

    PrettySparklies <3

  • FacePunch

    *stumbles deep into the woods as night falls*

    “Moon and UC!? MOON and UC!?!!”

    *collapses on the forest floor, waiting to be picked up by half-naked jorts-wearing freak*


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