The VILF deconstructed by Stacey and Stacey

(Today Stacey – Snowwhitedrifted or West Coast (WC) and Stacey East Coast (EC) take on the VILF’s we’d love to marry, hit it or just stare at and why they’re so alluring. – moon)

Goose and Maverick the Edward and Jasper of the 80s

Dear VILFS of Twilight (and other series),

In the eighties it was surfers and beach volleyball players. In the nineties it was athletes and firemen. The new millennium, however, boasts vampires as the most coveted object of desire for the female gender. Vampire sex appeal is at an all time high. I think this is partially due to the monster success of Twilight as well as some other factors.

EC Stacey: Wait. Are we getting serious here? The tweed kind of serious. Let me throw on these Kate Spade glasses. Alice approved, ya’ll. Hold on wearing an old David Letterman tee-shirt and Yoga pants, must change into designer…never mind. At least I got the glasses. Okay, Stacey (SWD) commence with your thoughts.

WC Stacey/ SWD: Many people claim that the vampire-ness of Twilight is insignificant and it’s totally a love story. Sure, the Cullens are like the passivist emo-hippies of the vamp world, but they still kick ass, nonetheless.

EC Stacey: Ha ha! I want them to wear tie dyed clothes and beads. Actually, do you think Carlisle and Esme got so sad after the Eclipse fight scene that they wanted to cry, but can’t. So they went back to Casa Carlisle and got all emo listening to Morrisey? Whoops! Got off track. Sexy vampire boys, yay!

Rob and Moz - My wildest fantasies realized! Thanks Fablife!

WC Stacey/ SWD: Morrisey, for the WIN, ha ha ha! I wouldn’t have liked it as much without the vampire aspect. You see, I have been a VILF shipper since I was a kid (duh, the Count (ECStacey: Grover, definitely Grover. Monster. Grr.) was my favorite Seasame Street character), so it was no wonder that Edward (and Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, James, hell even Aro) glamoured the pants off of me. I think this is true for a lot of women. When we break down the characteristics of a vampire, it’s no wonder we offer our necks (ok, and lady bits) willingly.

EC Stacey: Let me get this straight, Aro? I love the Michael Sheen, as much as everybody in the whole world. But Aro? If you said Alec, maybe. Even a creeptastic girl crush on Jane. I want to see that bottle of wine you are drinking. As expected, wine goggles. SWD: OK, note to self, wine in a box enhances wine goggles. If I were drinking “Bitch” wine maybe I’d go fake lesbian for Alice

What Rob's cheek bone structure looks like

WC Stacey/ SWD: Lets start with the fact that Vampires are HOT, well cold actually, but in the looks department they are always stunning. I think every actor born with incredible checkbones signs a deal with the devil to one day play a vampire. Seriously, you could grate cheese on Robs cheekbones (*note to someone, please make that as dirty as possible in the comments).

EC Stacey: Ahh…Rob’s cheekbones… Back on track. I don’t want to leave out the wolves/shifters for you wolfpackers. This might be hard to believe my friends, due to the fact I have a Sophie’s Choice type of love for both Twilight’s Edward and Vampire Diaries Damon. (And yes, I voted for BOTH of them in EW’s Sexy Beast poll. Don’t you judge me.) Originally, I loved the wolf. Seth Green’s OZ on Buffy the Vampire Slayer was my first true supe love. I even married his younger twin. Of course, he’s an accountant and not a rocking guitar player, but I can pretend. SWD: I married Fletch, he has no powers. Also, have you seen Alcide and Sam on True Blood? Nice. Twilight? Jacob’s a buff baby. Okay, Paul’s hot.

WC Stacey/ SWD: So yes, Vampires and Werewolves are beautiful. See exhibit A: (slide show mildly NSFW, mostly because it’s both hands embarrassing)


(moon note – the fact you made this kills me. LOVE and 1:50!)

Follow the cut for the rest of the deconstruction and to find out why we really like the bad boy VILFS

WC Stacey/SWD: It goes beyond the pretty factor though. Vampires are lusty, strong, powerful, ageless, forbidden, dangerous, rich, sexually superior, unable to impregnate a woman (*ahem*) which adds to the mystique. (side note, if vampires cry tears of blood and such, ummmm, what color is vampire semen? Has this been discussed? It needs to be, but that may be in a letter suited for Alan Ball (True Blood director), not LTT)

EC Stacey: Oh my God, Stacey (WC). You went there! No way. UC? Moon? Please tell me you asked Stephenie that question. Please? Pretty please? No? Not appropriate? You’re right. That one’s for Ball.

Exhibit B:

WC Stacey/SWD: Far superior to mortal men in many ways, but one in particular I find most fascinating.

A human, not a bean burrito (thank God)

Vampires do not eat…food. Therefore no digestion. Hence, no bad consequences that come from the digestive process. Imagine a lifetime with a partner free from any instance of “Man Smells” (dutch ovens be gone). Heaven.

EC Stacey: Or just being mean with their food. Let me tell you a little story about Buffalo Wings. One night, SG jr. was eating a plate of greasy Buffalo Wings. Let me point out for a visual, that my dear husband has the body of a skinny 13 year old boy. He proceeded to wave a leg at me and announce,”Hey baby, I can eat 100 of these and not gain a pound. Are you jealous?” Edward wouldn’t pull a stunt like that. You know, wave around the head of an elk and proclaim, “Look Bells, I can suck 50 of these and not a bit on my hips.”

WC Stacey/SWD: Since they’re old, most of them seem very inclined to have good manners. We learned from Edward that he’s very into courting and, to quote Bella, “Old School” standards. Ok, well that part is very appealing to the tweens and virgins, so it counts as an attraction factor.

VILF's are NOT watching this!

EC Stacey: For another RL example, my boy Edward would go wherever Bella wanted. Emmett might not when the game’s on TV. No, I take that back, Rosalie would hit him upside the head with a tree trunk and he’d go. Now, RL husbands can be cranky beasts. (Heads up single ladies) Like when you FINALLY get an adult night out and he’s complaining how he wants to go back to the house and watch Wipeout. Edward wouldn’t like Wipeout and neither would Vampire Bill. They don’t find “Big Balls” hysterical. Emmett, however…

WC Stacey/SWD: So one on hand (and your gonna need your hand) you have the family values vamps, the gentlemanly vamps. And on the other hand (and for us, um, women of age) (EC: Somebody loves Eric!) you have the less than virtuous, but dark masters of the sexy (*cough * Viking Sheriff *cough*), the other vamps.

From lusty to wholesome, the spectrum of vampires runs the gamut.

I'd go 'Surfin' USA' with any of these werewolves

EC Stacey: Let’s get back to the bad boys for a sec. The bad boys and the wolves. You might say, “Hey Stace, why the heck are you grouping my sweet Jacob with that lot?” Hear me out. The wolves and the bad vamps have super sexy, masculine sex appeal. I get the same reaction when Riley in Eclipse struts on screen to Alcide driving a truck. Sexy time. Breathe. Now Edward, Bill, Stefan and Angel from Buffy want to put a ring on that. They like imagining you having their not-going-to-happen babies. (Oh I forgot. That only works for Bill and Stefan. Angel had a “very special baby”, too. He’s now Pete on Mad Men. Love the full circle game!) Those boys are for the romantic in us. Bad boy vamps just for one nighter fantasies. Jacob is an interesting case. He plays both ways. SWD: *snickers* He would marry Bella, but also REALLY wants to hit that. So…I don’t want to think that. He’s a baby. A very muscular…stop.

WC Stacey: So there you have it. The VILF: Deconstructed. It’s no wonder all of our husbands and significant others despise these immortals that fascinate us to no end.

EC Stacey: Oh boy, the hubbys hate them. Mostly the sparkly variety. At least mine does. Here is a weekly conversation we have during baseball season.

SGjr.: Why can’t you be a normal girl and like baseball players?
Me: Like the way you like Jeter or ARod?
SGjr: Exactly. Mostly Jeter.
Me: You luv Jeter. Do you want to marry him?

WC Stacey/SWD: This has been fun Stace, we seem to have a lot to say about the Supes. Hell, we may need our own blog.

MILFs on VILFS,
Snowhitedrifted & Stacey

So what is it about Vampires? And while we’re at it, what about Werewolves? Anyone want to tackle the allure of werewolves and write us? DO IT! Big hand to the Stacey’s and why don’t you make WC/SWD Stacey’s day and go buy something in the LTT store! She is, after all the design mastermind behind our merch!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

  • Midnight_Cyn

    I MAY NEVER RECOVER FROM THAT VIDEO…OMELE!!! I havent even finished reading this awesomeness b/c I can’t stop hitting, replay….THANK YOU LADIES…I am lovin me some vamps this a.m..be back later…:)

  • superhumanmoron

    How jealous am I that you’re married to Fletch?? 10 shades. Now can I borrow that towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

    • http://twitter.com/kandnandb kandnandb

      I love Fletch too! I had a mad crush on Chevy Chase. I need to watch those movies again.

      • snowwhitedrifted

        I had a crush on Bill Murray (whaaaaaaa??? …because of Ghostbusters) but married Chevy.
        You know what they say, “make ‘em laugh, make ‘em breakfast”

        • superhumanmoron

          Confession: My Ghostbuster crush was Dan Akroyd.

  • Tigerkitten36

    [Trying to think up dirty ways to incorporate Rob's cheekbones and cheese......]

    Video turned Brain into mush.

    Good Morning Y’all

  • http://twitter.com/kandnandb kandnandb

    Wait a damn minute!!!! So Edward does NOT fart? OMG, I just fell more in love with him, if possible. When I die, it’ll be from toxic gas poisoning. (Sorry, TMI?)

    Love the video, Snow! (Except you could’ve left out LeStat. Tom Cruise did not make a sexy vampire, IMO)
    Edward & Emmett & Riley, oh my!
    Eric & Eric & Eric, oh my! oh! oh my God, oh, right there! ;-)

    • Stacey

      That’s funny!

  • P.S.

    I just started watching the Buffy series for the first time ever and please, please, PLEASE do not tell me that Angel and Buffy have a “special baby.” I’m gonna sue netflix if they do.

    Oh, and BTW “Look Bells, I can suck 50 of these and not a bit on my hips.” LOVED IT!

    • Stacey

      The “Very, special baby” appears on Angel. It’s a rapid grower too! I don’t want to spoil who the mommy is, for that special reveal I’ll let you check it out for yourself. It is toward the end of Angel’s run. Two seasons before the last one I think.

      Everytime Pete comes on Mad Men I yell,”Demon baby” at the screen. SGjr. thinks I’m insane.

      • P.S.

        Ugh.

      • Unashamed Twi-wife

        I *despised* Connor. I have all of Buffy & Angel on DVD except the season that was heavy into Connor. We hates him, precious!

  • GeminiGypsy

    Where did you get the picture of Edward at 2:25 of the video? I’d really like to find that one :) Also, epic song choice I must say :P

    • snowwhitedrifted

      The “blue” one?
      Google or Bing images. Edward Cullen was the search word….
      but I *may* have also used embarrassing searchwords such as:
      hot vampire, sexy vampire, Robward, blood and sex, famous vampires, old vampires, classic vampires, vampire p0rn,…. (why I really had to delete that serach history)
      but I think it was Edward Cullen.

      • http://twitter.com/kandnandb kandnandb

        Why are “hot vampire” & “sexy vampire” & “blood & sex” embarrassing? That’s an everyday search for me. OK, just the last one.

      • GeminiGypsy

        Haha, well if I wanted to find sexy blood-sucking Edward pictures, those keywords would obviously be the ones to search with :P But yes, I found the blue one on page 5 of google images using “Edward Cullen” as the search word. Thanks! :)

  • http://www.twitter.com/ScienceGeek91 Rob’s slow mo’ strut

    Oh my God that video! *dies*

    LMAO @ 3:07 and 3:46!!

    Ian
    David B.
    Alex Skars
    PFach
    Rob!!

    And yes would love to see Alex in that blue sweater some more.

  • dazzledtodeath

    Yes, vampires have no bodily functions (except of course ejaculation, and if I had to guess, I’d say clear. like ice water) but I always wondered what Edward thought of Bella and her “human moments”. I mean, she ate, she must have had bad breath, gas, etc. I’m sure his vampire senses had to be offended but he was too “old school” to mention it.

    And I think Morrissey would make a great vampire. Maybe they can get him a cameo in BD-what’s one more vamp from out of nowhere?

    • TeamJacobEdward

      I’ve thought shout that too. I can see why when someone turns vamp they have no problem snacking on human deliciousness. Hearing every silent to human ears farts and burps. Smelling onion breath from a mile away. Smelling said days and burps. I could only imagine what bathrooms that smell nasty to us smell to them. Human bodily functions alone would probably change my viewpoint of humans as a vamp to the liking of cow and pig as a human; gross, smelly animals (have you ever driven by a cow or pig farm?) that taste delicious.

      • MariaCecilia

        Hm, when you put it like that it seems a wonder that all vamps aren’t going around like Mr Smith in Matrix, with an undisguised disgust for the human race? But I guess, since humans are food too, they smell like really appealing food, at least some of them. COnfusing. Can someone smell like steak AND fart at the same time?? Which wins out, I wonder? “Oh, what the heck, this human hasn’t showered, but I am REALLY hungry right now…” :-)

        Vampire semen: stuff for a dissertation. I think I go for clear, and probably uncomfortably ice cold, unless the poison in the vampire’s system makes it sting. Yuck. And we human girls thought we had semen-problems BEFORE vamps showed up!

    • TeamJacobEdward

      Vampire ejaculation makes me think of one of the posts here on LTT (search “ejaculation” on LTT wordpress site to find it). Where a post talked about the real reason Edward didn’t want to do Bella; his jiz would shoot out of him so hard and fast it would effectively blow her head off.

      I have to agree with that post, death by vampire ejaculation would be a good way to go…

      • snowwhitedrifted

        That’s right, I remember that post. I like the idea of the semen being ice water. LOL!

        • http://twitter.com/kandnandb kandnandb

          And I like the idea that discussing vampire jizz (prism? ice water? forceful?) and super disgustingly smelly humans (yes, someone CAN smell like steak & fart at the same time-I believe I married him-jealous?) is all part of a #that’snormal day here at LTT.

          • snowwhitedrifted

            Once again, we all bring the Klass!

  • BrookeLockart

    Staceys: I’m only half way through, but you forgot the VILF of the 90s: ANGEL (and Spike, but that really happened in the 2000s) Angel truly started my love for Vamps…or maybe it was Brad Pitt as Louie in Interview with a Vampire. YUM.

    • Stacey

      Don’t worry Angel’s there in both the post and slideshow. You can’t forget the original (after Louie) tortured, emo human loving vamp boy! I love Buffy/Angel too! Okay I loved OZ, but I still religiously watched every episode after he and Angel left.

      • P.S.

        What!! Now you tell me Angel leaves! Let me guess, he thought Buffy deserved a normal life, blah, blah, blah. Well, I guess I better enjoy the Angel/Buffy yoga practice in season 3 while it lasts. :(

  • Obava

    Glad to see I am not the only one who has made a fetish out of Eric’s Tiffany blue sweater!

    xo obava

    • snowwhitedrifted

      you know it has a twitter account.
      @ericsblusweater. It just looks pretty in your timeline.;)

  • Nelle

    Young ones- the original VILF- from the 70′s Broadway show and movie “Dracula” – Frank Langella. Unfortunalely he didn’t age well. Hope Rob does better.

  • http://adriennetrafford.blogspot.com adrienne

    you had me at Moz/Rob – the video was awesome especially the Snow White and her seven demons image at the end!

  • eatmyjorts

    Anything with Morrisey in it is instant win with me – the Rob/Mozza pic thing is genius. I also think M would look Moztastic in Eric’s baby blue sweater… Who was the pic 2 frames before the ‘smexytimes’ header? Didn’t recognise him & I think I’d like to know him. Biblically. (I did not just say that).

    Thanks for including the wolfgirls…it’s not that I don’t think the vamps are hawt, but they’re cold, that’s what puts me off. That stupid joke about Twilight is kind of true: the story of one girl’s choice between necrophilia & bestiality.

    And vamp sperm is undoubtedly rainbow colour…every sperm a prism.

    • eatmyjorts

      Sprism?

      • TeamJacobEdward

        Of course! It would make total sense that sparklepeen would contain sparkle sperm.

        • TeamJacobEdward

          Omg. I just realized that if vamp sperm is sparkly, that would mean after sex it would be like they shot a tube of glitter up your hooha.

          • eatmyjorts

            Aaah, Edward & his disco balls.

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            Can’t stop laughing at inappropriate disco balls reference.

        • theseviolentdelights

          Since one of my bedroom walls has glitter covering most of it, I will now think of it as the “jizz explosion wall”.
          ‘Cause I’m classy like that.

    • Stacey

      That would be our friend Peter! Without his Carlisle wig.

      We added the wolves just for you! :0) That and they are hot.

      • eatmyjorts

        Peter Facinelli? Well, let’s just say the wig reduces his sex appeal 10000%, or possibly more. He never crossed my mind.

        I feel special that you put the wolves in for me. (Pretends Stacey didn’t add the second bit) (but they are).

        • http://www.twitter.com/ScienceGeek91 Rob’s slow mo’ strut

          Maybe you would have recognized PFach if he started talking in his accent that he had practiced for yeahhs and yeahhs..

          Sorry for the lameness of that comment. That video might have turned me into a puddle of goo and therefore suspended all brain activities.

      • Bea

        That is my favorite picture of him ever, hands down. It reminds me that he’s a lovely Italian man, not a Clairol peroxide model. Bonus points for Ms. Garth today, lucky girl.

      • The Old One

        Who knew PFach was actually that hot! Why oh why didn’t any single one of the 3 directors let that hotness out to run!! Too blinded by Rob, I guess, what with all the blinding sparkles emanating from his nether regions. What a shame. You were Robbed, Peter!

    • Edible Art ?

      yes can’t believe I have not noticed that before – Rob and Morrisey separated at birth !!!!

      • snowwhitedrifted

        How funny is that comparison collage? Good find/ creation Moon!

  • TeamJacobEdward

    (In response to turning Rob’s cheese grater cheek bones comment dirty…)

    I can think of a couple things most women wouldn’t mind grinding against Rob’s cheek bones… ;)

    Too dirty? Too vague? Just right?

    • MC

      Definitely “Too dirty”, which, in my book, makes it “Just right”! lol Should we start a list of “…things most women wouldn’t mind grinding against Rob’s cheek bones…”? ‘Cause I can also think of a few things!

    • MariaCecilia

      You’re just saying what we’re all thinking, sister…grate on!

  • TeamJacobEdward

    Off topic of sexy vamp men, but on topic of Rob, I had a dream about Rob last night/this morning. I was in his hotel room & just about to get into his whirlpool/hot tub with him… when my husband woke me up. It’s like he knew what I was dreaming about.

  • laphipps

    Grover was the shit. :)

  • MC

    Excellent video ladies, loved it! Nothin’ like lots of sexy, gorgeous men to make my day!

  • operarose

    Am I the only non-vampire girl around here? I had a mild interest in Buffy/Angel in the 90s (about 2 seasons worth) and have given True Blood and Vampire Diaries a fair shot (I didn’t last more than 10 episodes with either one) only to realize I am definitely not a vampire girl and Twilight is the exception to the rule. I guess I’m just one of those people who chalks it up to being mostly about a love story and very little about vampires. In my opinion, the only element that the “vampires” bring to Twilight is the “forbidden/eternal/danger” mystique to Bella’s love interest. Just like harlequin romances or “upstairs downstairs” affairs used to be the thing back in times when classes were kept separate (Jack and Rose, people. Jack and Rose.) there’s that allure of the “other” “untouchable” “forbidden” love. Since most people (classes, races, etc.) aren’t off limits to us here in the Western world these days, we now have to invent supernaturals to have forbidden affairs with.

    And as for the werewolf thing, I may wax poetic about my love for Jacob, but really it has nothing to do with him being a werewolf. I don’t care much for dogs. I wasn’t at all attracted to that pathetic True Blood Jacob guy. (Although Professor Lupin was one of my favourite characters in Harry Potter… but I wasn’t in love with him in a romantic way.)

    And finally, you had me at “hippies” – yes I would loooove to see the Cullens wearing love beads and tye-dye. That would be fun/hot. But don’t mind me. My parents were closeted hippies and I’m just a closeted hipster. I’d love to watch the Cullens sitting around their living room every, say, Tuesday night, their hippie night, incense burning, psychedelic rock playing, passing the…uh, etc.

    • snowwhitedrifted

      No way, pathetic “TB Jacob”? True blood’s Jacob is Alcide. 2:08. He puts the HoWl in Wolf!
      yummy.
      ;)

      • operarose

        Maybe I’m being unnecessarily harsh on him. I’ve only seen the 1st season of TB!

    • Stacey

      Wait you mean Sam right? Alcide’s too new and super hot.

      Sam is like an older Jacob. Only I kind of a thing for Sam, which I can’t quite explain. Maybe I just like puppies.

      • snowwhitedrifted

        I like his shirts

      • operarose

        Yes actually I mean Sam. 1st season. He was nice but didn’t seem hot. At least then.

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      YES, YES, YES, operarose. I give zero craps about vampires in general – which is why I didn’t read the books for a while after first hearing about them. Vampires what? No thanks.

      I kind of don’t think Twlight is really about vampires at all, it’s a romance, plain and simple, and, AGAIN, you are right, operarose, it’s the forbidden love angle that gets me (and most of us, I would assume, even if subconsciously).

      Not that I’m begrudging you vamp fans your good times – rock on with your vampire love. Just glad to hear that there are other LTT-ers out there who don’t care so much about vampires who aren’t Cullens.

      • MC

        @ no cool name! Very well said, I’m totally there with ya! I had NO interest in reading about vampires before Twilight; it was my 10 yr old daughter who finally convinced me to read the books, just January of this year. And I also “…don’t care so much about vampires who aren’t Cullens.”

      • TeamSeth

        My unicorn is the same about the Cullens. He’s hated NM not because of Jake but because of lack of Cullens. He’s a big Alice fan… and not just Ashley Green version.

      • The Old One

        Yes Twilight fulfills whatever vampy daily requirement I apparently need in my life, and I have no desire to sample any of those other Vitamin V products!

        • TeamSeth

          Vitaman V!!!! bwahahaha! LOVE IT!

      • operarose

        High five! We should all get matching Twilight tattoos (a la the wolfpack) to show our exclusive love for the Twilight vampires and ONLY the Twilight vampires.

        Seriously…yes, I remember seeing Twilight on the bookshelves during my weekly browse at the bookstore, and always put it back down (despite its alluring cover) because I saw the word “vampire” on it’s back cover. *Sigh.* If I’d only known…

        • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

          Tattoos!! Yeah!

          (Or not…if I was too chicken to get one 10 years ago when I was backpacking in Spain there’s no way I’m getting one now, married, four kids…sigh.)

          But if I DID get one…well, I think it still would not be twi-related. I don’t want to end up on someone’s snarky blog. :)

          • The Old One

            What? What snarky blog?

    • eatmyjorts

      The Cullens as hippies is epic. This may be because in my head I’ve always dubbed the entire Cullen Clan the Ungrateful Dead.

      • BayWolf

        Ungateful Dead = nice ;-)

    • TeamSeth

      Girl, you look damn fine in that tweed!

      Those Cullens need to get down to SE Portland, because that’s where the hippie is at! Just a 5 hour drive at human speed… they could run here in a 1/5th of that time. Mmmm… they really should too. I’ll just need to dig out Mr. Seth’s incense.

      • operarose

        I heart tweed.

        I’ve also always wanted to go to Portland. I should really go there sometime. And Seattle, too, I suppose. (and…by extension…Forks?) I love San Francisco so I’m assuming I’d also like other Northern-West-Coast places? Then I can vampire-hunt with you.

        • dameironfury

          If’n it’s hippies you want to see, come down to Eugene for Saturday Market. If there is a town anywhere still full of hippies, this is it!

          • TeamSeth

            So I hear! I really think they graduate college and move up to SE PDX. I seriously need to get out of the SE! I wish NW was cheaper :’(

            Anyway, guessing you’re in Eugene? I’m yet to meet any Portlander LTTers.

        • TeamSeth

          High five! Forks trip is a must. I mean, not only is it Forks–THE Forks, but it’s in the Olympic peninsula. Which is GORGEOUS. The movie’s don’t do it justice. Yes, Vancouver Island is pretty and the Columbia River Gorge is pretty, but Olympic Nat’l Park is stunning. Possibly in my top 5 favorite places on earth that I’ve been to. Hm, I should make that list…

          And the old ladies who run the Forks visitor’s center are SO nice! I love them!

  • kitkat

    VILF comment- In the Forks gift shop (and I’m sure elsewhere) they sell shirts that say “Edward is a VILF.” So I’m standing there with my friend and an older woman comes up, looks at the shirt, and goes “What does VILF mean?” (Note- her daughter is standing awkwardly by) My friend and I look at each other and then ask her if she knows what MILF means. She says no. My friend then says, “Well, it stands for Vampire I’d Like to…. you can fill in the blank.” The woman drops the shirt like a hot coal and walks away, looking very flustered.

    • TeamSeth

      WIN! And I don’t blame her, just walking into that store is the epitome of first hand embarrassing. It might even be zero-th hand embarrassing if that’s an option… it’s so embarrassing. And so, so, so marvelous. Sigh. I <3 Forks.

    • theseviolentdelights

      The same thing happened to me. Except this lady had her son with her, and he was about 7 years old…needless to say, it was very awkward/entertaining. ;)

  • Twi Mom(not like on O)

    Great letter Stacy X 2

    I cannot watch the vid till I get home:(.

    I admit I have always been a vamp chick, from the 2nd Dark Shadows TV show all the way to Vampire Diaries(I dont have HBO so I cannot watch True Blood). Although I agree that Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt In Interview WERE NOT HOT!!

    At the risk of getting a shoe virtually throw at me I have to admit that I am IN LUST with Damon from Vampire Diaries. It is his bad boy image and his eyes!! In some ways Edward is too much of a good guy for me. Maybe I need to start Letters to Damon. JK I would never steal your idea and in no way could be as funny as you girls are.

    Along those lines I think that is why I have always liked vampires, it is the hint of danger and the mystic (SP?) that makes them so sexy.

    • snowwhitedrifted

      Dark Shadows 2!!!
      Colllins… Cullens? coincidence?

      How about Bram Stolers Dracula? That would have made me start a letters to gary oldman if the internet was invented.
      ;)

      • Stacey

        Gary Oldman. Hmm… As your friend, put down that box o’wine.

        Now Damon/my boy Ian…yum…no don’t be sad Rob/Edward. I adore you too! I just want to be Switzerland. Sigh.

        • snowwhitedrifted

          No love for the Gary? Even as Sid Vicious?
          I still <3 him as Dracula. SRSLY, I have a pocket Vlad. ;)

        • TeamSeth

          No way! Oldman gets two thumbs up (I won’t say where those thumbs are going…) And he kind of sort of also turns into a wolf/dog…

      • Twi Mom(not like on O)

        Speaking of Dark Shadows. I just IMDb’d it and it looks like Tim Burton might be doing a movie in 2013 w/ the so hot Johnny Depp! It is to new to have any info but could we get so lucky that JD plays Barnabas?

      • theC

        Dark Shadows II….johnny depp/tim burton (can’t wait!!!),the ultimate VILF,next to Edward and John Mitchell (aiden turner in Being Human). love,love,love me some vamps…….

    • steve

      don’t get EC stacey started on damon…

      • Twi Mom(not like on O)

        Oh I could go on about/ be on (TWSS) Damon for hours!! When I first started the series I really wanted to like Stephen but just like Edward he is just to broody and sullen for me. Give me smart ass damon with the great eye brows anyday!! Of course I also prefer Kathrine to Elena.

        • snowwhitedrifted

          I just started VD *Snickers* season 1. Like just started, last night. I already don’t like the girl. Glad to hear she gets mean in flashbacks. Yes, Damon. Add him to my “do bad things with” list.

      • Stacey

        I know, it’s bad. The closer to the Vampire Diaries season premiere, the worse I get. Never fear…once Breaking Dawn starts filming, I’ll be back to obsessively search for Rob pictures. It’s how I roll. #boycrazy

        • TeamSeth

          Ang’s friend calls him SmoulderHolder, which is definitely the right name for him (and much easier to remember/spell than his actual name). AND it passes the male test because at dinner tonight Mr. Seth was teasing me about my Sawyer crush and I came back with, “Well, SmoulderHolder is much hotter.” and he said, “Yeah, too bad he died the first season.” Then I assured him this was okay because he’s much sexier as Damon… he gets to grin more instead of dealing with a whiny “sister”. And his grin is… well, it’s the reason I watch VampDi.

          Also, and let’s not feel dirty about this because the actor is over 18, the little brother on VampDi (Jeremy) filled out serious amounts in the final few episodes of the season. I can’t wait to see him NEXT WEEK (I’m squealing inside, so so so excited!)

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            Can I be a loser for a second and tell you guys that a guy I went to HS with (and spent a lot of time with – we had sort of a thing-ish) wrote that “Make Me Wanna Die” song that’s been on the VD trailer for this season? It’s by The Pretty Reckless (the band with Taylor Momsen from Gossip Girl) – he’s the guitar player/songwriter in the band.

            Kind of embarrassed that I am bringing this up.

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            The song in this trailer:

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            Comment fail. I clearly don’t know what I am doing. Just go to YouTube and search for Vampire Diaries Season 2 Official Teaser Trailer.

      • Stacey

        Hello there Jill.

  • snowwhitedrifted

    Moon, your pictures and captions are perfect!
    Is that TeenWolf I see?? LOL
    Sookie burrito, nice!

    • Stacey

      Top Gun! Goose!

  • MariaCecilia

    Thank you for your little slide show and for putting all those images in my head!’(Is it hot in here? Phew.)

    I never went for vampires before (like Bella I have blood phobia and faint at the mere suggestion of blood) but I agree that the whole “he’s bad for you” is probably part of the attraction. Plus cheek bones never hurt! And the thought of making a bad boy fall hard for your innocence so that he has to rein himself in for you has always been…appealing. A combination of male self control and sensitivity can be very sexy, and with vampires the whole thing is so much more intense. Nuff said. Damon – go home. Edward – all the way!

  • Janetrigs

    I love TB!

    • snowwhitedrifted

      Yay! Janetrigs love! I knew I’d getcha with the sweater.

  • Nelle

    Sorry- I don’t know how to insert photos. Just think he is hot as a more “mature” vampire.

    http://www.toutlecine.com/images/tag/0002/00020276-vampire.html

  • TeamSeth

    MILFs on VILFs!!!!!! Wow, this is like super super late comment (of course who knows when the next post will be… whimpers), but omg that made me laugh so hard! I <3 Staceys

    • Stacey

      We missed you today!

      • TeamSeth

        aw shucks. unfortunately I had to work on formatting a presentation all day. blech.

  • lieutenant.twilight

    First off this is EXCELLENT! Especially the slide show! Soo much win! Also, I think its fun that you chose that song, since it was the one during the credits on True Blood’s last episode… or the one before it.. either way! More Win!! ohhhhh Eric…

  • raven4mi

    COUNT CHOCULA! That made my night.

    The rest of those vamps weren’t bad either. Hee.

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