Call us matchmakers, call us comedians, call us heroes, call us all of the above, we’ll take whatever you call us (as long as it’s not “Krisbian” ba-dum-ching), but our favorite “role” on LTT is one of enabler- that’s right, even though you wrote a letter for LTT submission back in May or June and haven’t heard back from us yet (because that’s how far behind we are on emails- Summer emailing #fail), we LOVE when you catch the LTT letter-writing spirit & send us the goods. We love that you’ve wasted as much time as we have doing “normal” things like stalking obscure members of the Twilight cast, watching countless fan-made videos & laughing your ass off at 2nd embarrassing people, things and events. And we love when you meet an LTT BFF, start up a blog & share your amazingness with everyone here.
That’s exactly what LTT friends Stacey & Stacey (who met on LTT) did. Today, on Stacey vs. Stacey, they delve into a rarely discussed topic- Jacob & his furry friends:
Vampires, vampires, vampires. It’s like the Supe version of the Brady Bunch. Instead of Marcia and Jan, it’s Edward and Jacob or Bill and Alcide. I can just hear Jacob say, “Edward, Edward, Edward!” Stomps his feet and goes off to pout. These poor puppies get absolutely no play, well a little bit but not like the vamps. So we, the Staceys thought to ourselves, hey let’s help these boys out and give them a say. Taking a page from Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire, we will be doing (fake) sit downs with the boys in two parts. First for our LTT friends, we will dive deep (very deep) into the Quilute Wolf pack. Part 2 on [our blog] Talksupe will focus on our furry friends featured on True Blood and Vampire Diaries. These are our transcribed notes: Location 1: Picnic Area. La Push Beach, Forks, Washington
EastCoast Stacey (aka EC): Brrr…it’s chilly out here.
WestCoast Stacey (Snowwhitedrifted aka SWD): No wonder Bella is always in flannel.
EC: Where the hell are your shirts? It’s like 40 degrees out here * background grumbles *
I get that you’re hot, but seriously it’s just polite to put on clothes when women are around.
SWD: No kidding, hey I think I see “Twin Peaks”. *snickers*
EC: First question, it doesn’t seem to hurt you when you phase. How does it feel?
Jacob: Did you bring food?
EC: Umm…no…Let me check in my bag. Half a bag of Skittles, some Altoids…oh, a Ziploc bag full of GOLDFISH crackers. There you go boys.
SWD: *thinks* that’s such the mom purse snack selection
EC: Hi Leah. *Leah walks off briskly with snacks* Where is she going with the Goldfish?
Paul: Stealing them. Girl, you better bring those back.
EC: Wait…why isn’t Leah wearing a shirt either? Is this a nudist colony?
SWD: Like I said above…
EC: Alright…back to my question. Is this phasing thing actually painless? I watch George on BBC America’s BEING HUMAN and it looks like it hurts! (Honestly, check it out people! The British do it best!)
Jacob: That’s a British Show. I hate British guys. They’re skinny, pale, dress like girls, steal your women… Nope, haven’t seen it. I like watching SPEED and ESPN.
SWD: *says under breath* … and of course the NatGeo channel.
EC: Jacob, I need to ask you about this imprint thing.
*Embry and Jared giggle *
EC: Oh. Hi there, Jared. How you doin’?
Sam: No. If you remember, we signed a contract that you would not ask about Bella’s baby. That question is off the table.
EC: Are you a lawyer, now?
SWD: It’s cool, Stace, J.Jenks gave us the go ahead.
EC: Fine. Good try, Sam. Just calm down. We know what happens when wolf out inappropriately. You know…Emily. I have Charlie’s number on speed dial. Quil? You and the two-year old? Claire?
EC: If it was my daughter, I would have a baseball bat with your name on it.
SWD: no kidding.. or scissors.. snip snip.
Quil: I can see that. Do you ladies have boyfriends?
EC: What? We’re both married, to men who wear shirts.
SWD: I make mine wear a black tee so he looks like… nevermind.
EC: Somedays, I make mine wear his gray peacoat. I tell him it makes him look preppy, but really he looks like Ed…
Jacob: Seriously?!? * growls *
Quil: Well Claire and I will be married in sixteen years. I need some companionship. You two are MILFS, and I can tell you like the pecs. *wiggles them*, I’m a vir…never mind.
SWD: I don’t teach.
*Embry and Jared giggle *
EC: Hi Jared! * throws Skittle on the ground * Could you bend over and pick up for me?
Seth: Guys I’ve got to go. My mom just texted me. I have to cut the ribbon to the new Fish Fry on Route 55. Can somebody take me? *scuffs foot sadly* ….or I could hitch hike.
Paul: Hitch hike.
EC: Never mind we’ll take him. Mean puppies.
SWD: I have a carseat.
EastCoast & WestCoast: Staceys
Even though it still takes us forever to respond, we STILL love your letter submissions! Keep sending them in! And make sure to check out the Stacey’s Talk Supe especially in the next few days so you don’t miss Part TWO of the interview!