Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams are an item. I KNOW! And then Tinsel tweeted Gil. Right? And then we told some jokes. And then we broke it down… SURPRISE. So if you haven’t been over to LTR today then let me be the first to tell you this is a double break down day! We hit Rob and now we’re hitting half the cast of Twilight over here… enjoy!
Moon: DUDE we need to talk about micheal sheen with rachel mcadams cause….DAAAAMN SON!!
UC: YES let’s break THAT shizz down!
Moon: ok theres a video i watched last night and im treying to find it
UC: sex vid?
Moon: hahaha dont we wish
UC: haha… ONLY if it’s her and The Gos
Moon: that would blow the robsten magicness out of the water… but whatever theres the proof… can we talk about how he SCORED! i mean hellllooooo rachel mcadams and it says he was with kate beckinsale before this! DUDE
UC: I KNOW.. what is UP with Michael!? Magical British PeeN? Wait WELSH… he’s WELSH
Moon: magic WELSH peen who knew?? so im think rachel is a HUGE closet twihard, right?
UC: oh HUGE
Moon: and shes just using micheal for either a chance at being in breaking dawn or a chance at getting closer to rob
UC: its’ what she talks about with michael (and Kate’s) daughter Lily it’s the ONLY reasonable explanation. or to steal something from Lily’s collection
Moon: thats their bonding time, breaking down breaking dawn with an 11 yr old
UC: she has Mike’s cape, signed by Stephenie
Moon: do you think she makes micheal wear his long aro wig when they have sexy times? cause she likes the OLD vamps?
UC: Yes She does that move from the Notebook and he pulls off her panty hose then she pulls his hair
UC: clearly I’ve read a fic….Say IT OUTLOUD she yells in a passionate moment, then he does-
UC: BELLER IS ALIVE!
Moon: BELLER IS ALIVE!
Moon: Jinx!! this is our next fic we write we only do real life fics
UC: please write a mini one for tomorrow
Moon: cause we’re twisted… hhahaha NO
The one where we talk about the Notebook
Moon: if this is a secret plot to get into breaking dawn, who does she want to be????
UC: Tanya is taken… and that’s who I’d guess
Moon: Renesmee??? she has to be team jacob she heard they were using CGI stuff so why not?
UC: Right she’s got a young innocent face
Moon: then her and jacob can be all notebook noah and allie in the ocean at first beach
UC: yes- Jake can get a canoe out on the ocean. And it’s the Pacific northwest- it’s bound to rain
Moon: right and he’s like i just want to show you one thing… and it’s a ton of werewolves swimming in the ocean since he couldnt get geese
UC: doing the doggie paddle
Moon: i hope BooBoo can swim
UC: hahah i just heard krazy kidd saying that in my head
Moon: hahahabobo hahahaa
Follow the cut for the rest of our break down
Moon: and again annalynn is pissed off she didnt think of it first. she missed playing heidi after she got with kellan, then she missed tanya even though annalynn looks like a cat woman too and now she missed renessmee
Moon: annalynn picked the wrong cast member to fake go out with now she has to go on all these good will mission, habitat for humanity, run 20 miles for breast cancer trips instead of being in the twilight franchise
UC: FAIL! she could be snacking with Michael Sheen!
Moon: exactly and being renesmee poor girl
The one where we talk about other news and UC admits her weakness
Moon: so what about tinsel korey’s tweet that her and gil birmingham were getting together to JAM last night??? and that she mentioned them writing a breaking dawn song
UC: oh JAM you say!???? Haha don’t these people know by know unless you’re an up and coming indie band you’re NOT getting on the soundtrack!! the cathy hardi days are OVER
Moon: seriously. So over. so either shes serious about thinking they have a popsicles chance in HALE of getting on tghe soundtrack OR theyre actually an item an younger/older may to december romance like rachel and micheal only with way less star power or connections to the goz
UC: Except a little grosser Cuz … I mean… Gil… I like him in a wheelchair, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t wanna do him
Moon: the dianna ross video didnt do it for you?? him crooning sweet sweet jams to the ladies at twicons doesnt do it for you??
UC: Okay fine I admit it You write Michael/Rach fic, I write it about ME and GIL
Moon: ohhh UC/Gil fic??!!!! is your “palatial pad” actually the little red house up in the pacific northwest?
UC: yep he fries me fish all night long if you know what i’m saying (literally- he fries me fish.. have you ever had fried salmon? it’s devine!)
Moon: wait you have threesomes with harry clearwater?!
UC: Yes. His Kung Fu really IS strong I’m dry heaving- are you?
Moon: no. i think we all have a little gil/harry fantasy in us
UC: haha phew- I thought I was the only one
Moon: not at all
UC: But sometimes….. wait for it… even charlie creeps into my thoughts and then I’m done. It’s over Stick a fork in me…. and fry me up…
Moon: you mean stick a FORKS in you
Moon: hur hur hur
UC: worst/best joke
Moon: twi comedy tour here we come… coming to a twicon near you! can you imagine really bad jokes like that?! itd be amazing
UC: I SOO wish they’d let me tell some… Can you imagine?
UC: “Hi We’re UC & Moon from LTT”
Moon: but they make us do the show in the lobby bar not on the main stage
UC: and then they’d throw stuff at us they’d throw their pattinson pants at us for being hateful cat lady cougars
Moon: i thought we’d be WEARING the pattinson pants or maybe it’s like really bad prop comedy like carott top and gallagher
UC: they’d come on stage & rip them off us b/c we don’t desreve it we’re not good enough fans
Moon: and we use the pattinson pants and like a rob wig as part of our jokes
UC: b/c we don’t love when he has a pubic hair face
Moon: yea i think we’ve proven how undeserving we are over the last few yrs
UC: True dat
Moon: even stephenie thinks so…. so undeserving she made us ask her questions in a room for 4 hours
UC: it’s what she does with people she hates
Moon: kinda like midnight sun
UC: exactly like that
So LTT-ers, what are your thoughts on Michael Sheen? Do we have any Welsh folks in the house who can attest to your menfolk? Does anyone else have Gil Birmingham weaknesses? And lastly who will be in the audience of our first comedy show at next weeks Twicon (in my parents basement)?
Off to write some Gil fic!