Newborn Twihard

Moon is still gone & I’m busy trying to figure out if Taylor Swift is singing to Taylor Lautner or Big Daddy in her new song “Back to December”

Dear LTT,

They’re on to me, what do I do?

It all started innocently enough…I just wanted to win tickets to the LA premiere, so I played the Vitamin Water unlock a pixel game on facebook.  I was apprehensive about Vitamin Water posting a message that stated I had taken a pixel of the wallpaper—so much so that the first time the application asked me if it could have access to my profile, I clicked cancel.  Then the fever set in (you know the one).  I threw caution to the wind, and I clicked yes.

Yes Vitamin Water, you can broadcast my deepest, darkest secret all over my friends’ facebook pages.  Besides, who is going to really see it between all the Farmville stuff anyway?

It was ok at first, my BFF (who is open about her Twi-ality) simply stated, “Oh my.”  I’m sure it came as a great surprise to her, but she left it alone.  Hours went by…no one else had said anything.  “I’m in the clear,” I thought to myself.  Then came the message from a guy friend, “Newborn Twi-hard, get a life.”  The one response I had feared throughout my entire closeted Twilight-loving existence.

Who you calling sick!?

For weeks, I have successfully hidden my new obsession from everyone, including my husband.  My BFF didn’t even know.  Like most who are open about their Twi-ality, she encouraged me to read the books, begged me to go see the movies with her, tried to convince me I wouldn’t go to prison for lusting after Taylor Lautner—all to no avail.  You see, I never read Tiger Beat, I don’t subscribe to Cosmo, I’ve never read Elle…I’ve never been a consumer of popular culture.  I openly mocked her and others like her, “You do realize that wanting to dry hump Shark Boy is a little sick?”  I asked her.  “They sparkle, BFF.  They effin’ sparkle.”  “Shall we stop at Hot Topic on our way to Macy’s?”

And then, ironically, on May 13th my daughter put ‘Twilight’ in the DVD player while I was studying for my Individual and Family Relations final on the couch.  I tried to ignore what I was seeing in my peripheral vision: a deer running through the woods while some annoying chick talked about death, said annoying chick riding in a police car with a guy and his mustache, annoying chick gasping audibly and twitching while trying to find her classroom.  “This is cinematic genius” I thought to myself sarcastically.

Yeah.... I know.... Drool

And then I looked up and I saw him.  Edward.  Edward, sitting behind his lab table with a strategically placed owl behind him…retching.  “Oh Em Gee you guys” I said doing my best 12 year old girl impression.  “It’s like he’s an Aaaangel.”  They (my two daughters and their friend) laughed.  But I meant it.  “Why is he retching girls?  Girls?  GIRLS?!  What’s going on?”  “He wants to kill her mom” one of them said.  “Why?” aside from the obvious; I’d want to kill the gaspy, twitchy chick too.  “Ugh, mom, you’d have to read the book to understand!”  “I’m not reading that tripe,” I said defiantly.

And then I didn’t care so much about Ecological theory and how external influences affect the family system.  I wanted to know why Edward would save her when he clearly didn’t like her, why he clearly liked her when she was clearly annoying, why he was clearly bipolar in all his interactions with her…wait why is this chick hittin’ on my man?  Clearly!

After I had sufficiently mocked the movie, and my daughters for watching it, I sent them to bed.  After making sure they were asleep, frantically, I placed ‘New Moon’ in the DVD player.  “What are you doing?” my husband asked, bewildered, on his way to bed.  “Uh, um…research?  I’m uh just making sure this movie is appropriate for the girls.”  And when that was over, I googled ‘Twilight’ and came across Stephenie Meyer’s site.  I read ‘Midnight Sun.’   It wasn’t enough.  I googled ‘Robert Pattinson.’  For an hour I sat with my laptop absorbing everything I could.  3am—I had to go to bed.

That Friday, I read ‘Twilight.’  That Saturday, I read ‘New Moon.’  That Saturday night, I started ‘Eclipse.’  That Sunday, I finished ‘Eclipse’ and ‘Breaking Dawn.’  Monday, I rewatched ‘Twilight’ and ‘New Moon.’  And I googled.  I googled like a crack whore trying to get her fix.  And I felt dirty.  Then the fan sites!  The fan sites became my methadone, youtube was the crack.

That's Normal

Let's say it together: That's Normal

And then I found you, LTT.  I feel like I can be myself with you.  Sure, you’re an enabler, but you don’t judge me.  You don’t tell me to get a life—you know I have one.  But what about the people who don’t understand my new, alternative lifestyle?  What about the people who won’t understand that I desperately want my husband and I to dress as Bella and Edward this Halloween?  Can we dress as Bella and Edward this Halloween?   Is it possible to dress as Bella and Edward this Halloween and convince people that we are actually trying to be the living embodiment of some sort of social commentary I am sure to come up with by October, 31st so as not to blow my cover?

Or should I come out of the closet?  Should I just be honest with myself and all of my loved ones about my Twi-ality?  What will my husband think?!

I’d like to close with my reply to my guy friend on facebook:

“You shut your dirty mouth. I am a desperate housewife living vicariously through a 17 year old girl. You see Guy Friend, ‘Twilight’ is not about the forbidden love between a human and a vampire. It’s about the brooding, pent-up sexuality that is Robert Pattinson. It is not my usual fare, sure. But if it were, I’d be living vicariously through Anna Karenina, and quite frankly I don’t want to throw myself on the railroad tracks. So you know what? Start looking like Robert Pattinson, and I’ll get a life!”

Was I convincing?

Sincerely,
Newborn Twi-hard

Convincing!? I think so!!!! Welcome to the crazy, Newborn Twi-hard! We’re glad to have you!!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • fangbanger

    I like this letter!

    *wild applause*

    PS. That fisting pic of Taybaby still makes me laugh and puke all at once. It’s a weird sensation.

    • Stacey

      Oh little Taylor makes me giggle…and want to bake him cookies and buy him Hot Wheels.

      Did you watch Glee last night? It was so good!

      • Luludee

        Can I just say that I would be more than happy to ta-ta-ta-touch Mr. Shue, cuz dayum!

        • TeamSeth
          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            What on earth…?

          • ChillinWithCullens

            whoa TS!!!!!!!!!! No wonder Emma tore his shirt off!

    • nelip

      Funny, how much resonates. So, what is wrong with having Twilight as a google alert? Not much, except a lot of them are crap. Take care new twihard and watch out, cause it only gets worse.

    • Sj

      Dear Fang – Please don’t mention fisting and Tator-tot in same sentence. Or post. Or day. Makes me queasy.

    • http://www.breakindownltt.com PrettySparklies

      a little late to remark, but wtf “fisting?” please don’t use that word ever again, especially when talking about Taylor! :P

      ROFLMAO!

      <3

  • Rachel B

    I think that is pretty much a good standard comeback for anything “you know what? start looking like Robert Pattinson and get a life!”

    Love it!!!!

    • Michelle

      That comeback rules. It’s right up there with…

      No…but…MY KUNG FU IS STRONG!

      Yeah baby yeah.

      Loved this letter.

    • Stacey

      That’s WAS the best comback ever! I loved it!

      • ChillinWithCullens

        Stacey! You’re back!

    • The Old One

      Ditto!

  • lindsaylee

    asi was reading your post, i kept thinking… I know what coming next… we all did the same thing… i know how people are going to react.

    Same story, different day. And very much correctly put “thats normal” and again, as UC said, Welcome to the Crazy

    • MariaCecilia

      I loooved this letter too, (heart you Newborn Twi-hard!) and I’ve been thinking: isn’t this Twi-obsession on a par with being a teenager all over again: drooling over the “impossible” guy, being in the closet about loving him, and obsessing all the time over the same question “Am I normal?”

      UC and Moon: you are the guidance counsellors we never had, holding our hand, giving us hankies and reassuring us “Yes, dear, that’s normal.” (Except, unlike our high school guidance counsellors (?) you are drooling over the same guys too…) :-)

      Oh, by the way, stay in the closet. It’s much cosier in there, believe you me…

      • Stella

        yes to “being a teenager all over again!” i have been listening to pop music like crazy and reconnecting with my high school friends! my husband says i’m regressing, i just think i am staying young!! his 16 year old neice is visiting us for 6 weeks and we are having a blast! as soon as my little ones are in bed, we’ve been watching twilight and new moon and any other romance we can get our hands on. just went to the MALL and tried on BELLA JACKETS, normal right?!! it’s great having a teen old around, she makes a great cover!

  • Obava

    Newbie-
    Awesome letter. You gave me the lolz:

    This: After making sure they were asleep, frantically, I placed ‘New Moon’ in the DVD player. “What are you doing?” my husband asked, bewildered, on his way to bed. “Uh, um…research? I’m uh just making sure this movie is appropriate for the girls.”

    and this: ‘Twilight’ is not about the forbidden love between a human and a vampire. It’s about the brooding, pent-up sexuality that is Robert Pattinson

    xo obava

  • ladyofthemeadow

    Loved your post, especially:

    “You shut your dirty mouth. I am a desperate housewife living vicariously through a 17 year old girl. You see Guy Friend, ‘Twilight’ is not about the forbidden love between a human and a vampire. It’s about the brooding, pent-up sexuality that is Robert Pattinson. It is not my usual fare, sure…”

    I think you are my newfound twin.

  • ChillinWithCullens

    “The fan sites became my methadone, youtube was the crack.”

    Hahahaha!!!! Well done. Hardest I’ve ever laughed here. (and so accurate – but that’s normal). Welcome Newborn Twihard!

  • Stacey

    I identify with this letter in so many ways. My kids are too young for Twilight, but my little girl wants the Jacob Barbie. (What?!?) Instead, of getting to watch Twilight with her, I get the 411 on the Fresh Beat Band. (Also the nightmares.)

    Now, I know more about Mike Newton, the Volturi and Robert Pattinson’s favorite foods than I should be comfortable with. I do enjoy it too much to care.

    I will actually be Bella this Halloween. Which is to say that I will be wearing a fitted plaid button down, bootcut jeans, parka and sensible shoes when taking the kids trick or treating. Which is to say what I would probably be wearing anyway without my disturbing knowledge of all things Twilight. Well, at least you all will know the truth this Halloween.

    • Rachel B

      Stacey! I’m going to a villian party…. so I was thinking of dressing up as Jane. But, I dont think anyone will “get” it. What do you guys think? (sorry for the off topic comment not about today’s letter)

      • Bea

        I think dressing up as Jane might get you confused with the female version of Darth Maul. Victoria’s way too much work, though.

      • Stacey

        I like the Jane costume idea! Don’t forget the ‘Heidi’ braids hairstyle, cloak and creepy ready eyes. Also, no smiling, no matter how many cocktails! Jane doesn’t do smiling, unless she’s bringin’ the pain. :0)

        • TeamSeth

          Heidi herself isn’t a bad character idea!

      • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

        OMG OMG OMG!!! You get to go to a villain party?! I am so jealous. I live for villain dressing. I dressed as Sophie-Anne from True Blood on our blog today.

      • Sj

        Does Lauren Mallory count as a villian? We don’t really celebrate Halloween here but any excuse to pump up my rack.

    • blackgirltwihard

      Stacey, the other day one of my kids asked me which one the fresh beat band members did I like the best. TRUST ME I had to look DEEP into her sweet little face and reach waaaaay down in my mommy-dom to answer her nicely.

      • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

        So spill it…Kiki? Marina? The guys whose names I can’t remember?

        • blackgirltwihard

          O GAWD, NCN!!!! How dare you ask this!!!LMAO!!!
          *None, nada, ZERO*

        • blackgirltwihard

          I just told her “Honey, I like all of them.” my 1,025,214th little white lie…LOL!

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            laughing here…

        • Stella

          my husband has a crush on kiki!! this justifies my all-things-twilight obsession, RIGHT?!

      • Michelle

        One of my best friends may or may not have a massive crush on Twist.

        True Story.

        • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

          Oh wow.

      • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

        Hey hey hey, fresh beat band. I want MArina’s hair. That’s the red head, right?

        • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

          Sigh. Yes. Sad for myself that I know that.

    • TeamSeth

      “sensible shoes” hehe

  • Nelle

    Great letter Newborn! You have found a home. You are among friends!

  • Edible Art ?

    Great letter !!! Man you put up some resistance at first I admire your strength – But then absolutely hilarious that one glance at Rob and your like ‘Eff this get me those books and I MEAN NOW !!! funny

    Now getting all tweed serious here your “who the eff is this moment” came in the biology class and not during Rob’s strut through the cafeteria like most people…. including me the image that’s burned on my brain and relax….

  • blackgirltwihard

    WELCOME, BABE!! You are in good company!!! Don’t be ashamed!!

    P.S. And as for FB and Twilight, I post occasional things on my status about Twi and I had a “frenemie” put something in her status about how “ she was sooooo grown” because she knew “nothing about Twilight.” We live in a small town and I saw her husband the next week in the grocery store: I flirted with him. waiting for her ass to post something else

    So, uh, yeah ….Embrace your crazy Twi-hardneess, I do!

  • JustGoWithIt

    I am lending my books to a friend soon, hoping she will be a new born twi-hard. I’ve been wrong before though. I put a note in the last page of Breaking Dawn recommending LTT and my fav. fan fics if she needed more.
    I do love your description of what Twilight is, so right.
    I’ve never really been called out for my Twilight love, apart from some heckling from my husband. The hubby has it wrong, it’s not that I’m totally into vampires. He doesn’t know the extent of how many crap vampire shows and movies I could watch these days if that were the case, although I also love True Blood but who doesn’t.

    • missmiller

      what are some of your fav fanfics??? It’s new to me and all I can seem to find are really crappy ones!

      • JustGoWithIt

        My favorite one is “Stranger Than Fiction”, because it is an alternate version of what could have happened after Edward leaves in “New Moon”.

      • frightenedflips

        fanfic recs….buckle your seat belts…
        Best “what happened after the wedding fic”
        It reads like 3 books….. All by Lolashoes.
        Let your light shine
        A Life Extraordinary
        This Hungry World.
        (all very lemony by the way)
        Another good canon one is: My Yes, My No. Which was rec’d to me by the lovley StotheP.

        My top rated -all human: The blessing and the curse.
        and: Tropic of Virgo
        If you havn’t already cut your teeth on Wide Awake
        and Clipped Wings and Inked Armour…they are amoung the most highly rated.

        All of these are complete.
        Let me know how you do. :)

        • Bella-Dawn

          Where can I find those after the wedding fan fics by Lolashoes??

          • frightenedflips

            http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1803036/LolaShoes

            is the link for LolaShoes.
            Scroll down and you’ll see her stories. I think Let Your Light Shine is closer to the bottom of the list as it is the first one in the three part series. They must be read in the correct order.

            x x x x

    • TeamSeth

      I put a note in the last page of Breaking Dawn recommending LTT and my fav. fan fics if she needed more.

      You’re the best friend ever!

    • kitkat

      I love that you wrote her a note. When I was reading the Sookie books with my friend (ie she bought them and then I read them as soon as she finished) she left me a post it note in the middle of one of the books that said “Hi Kitkat!” I died laughing on the couch, and my family had to come see why I was laughing so hard at something that wasn’t LTT related.

  • JustGoWithIt

    P.S. Don’t we all secretly or not so secretly want to dress up in a Twilight character costume this year? If my husband grew his hair out and got some bronze highlights he could totally pull off Edward. He totally has the eyebrows. I could put on a long brown hair wig (ha, even the fact that it looked like a wig would work, I could be Eclipse Bella!), and well…not eat until Halloween (why you gotta be so skinny KStew?).

    • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

      *mumbles under breath* I dressed as Alice on our blog today.

      • Stacey

        You made a fabulous Alice! I’ll put on my Bella and we’ll pretend we are in the same state trick or treating…

        Oh…I had the best (make that probably dumb) idea using the Bella & Alice Barbies and us. Remind me to tell you later… Wait…why didn’t just email you? Hmm…

    • operarose

      I so want to. Semi-secretly. But husband vetoed all of my costumes, especially the one that involved him dressing up as Jacob.

      In a nutshell, :(

    • TeamSeth

      Rachel B. was discussing with me her villain dilemma and Jane idea. Now I’m thinking about going as Vic-Vic-Victoria! Just have to curl my hair and get some white faux fur. Charlotte Rouse here I come!!!!!!

  • JennB

    I love this. I need a Twi-bud, my friends who were “into it” seem to have, indeed, gotten a life and found something else to work on.
    Welcome to the fandom! :)

  • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

    Hilarious. I just got back from story hour with the kiddos at the library where my favorite unicorn (our librarian) and I were discussing getting together for a viewing of Vampire Diaries (but I apparently have 28 episodes to watch to get caught up – worth it?). Another one of the moms perked her ears up – “what are you guys talking about?” – (all casual-like). She then confessed to “getting caught up in all that Stephenie Meyer stuff.” She said she only started reading it to preview it for her 13-year-old niece and then spent the next three days in a frenzy of reading.

    Seriously, is there ANYONE out there who doesn’t have that experience once they finally pick up the books?

    • kristen’s bestie

      Haha! The stories are all the same are they not?

      Except if you are male. My hubs read (actually listened to) Twilight and said ” I thought it took place a long time ago, not in current times in a high school?” Needless to say he has not read the rest of them.

    • Stacey

      Vampire Diaries is so worth it! (ahh…Somerhalder) Keep I’m mind there are some similiarities to Twilight, mostly Stefan’s emo and Elena’s general Bella-ness. (Even though technically VampDi came first)Both are good, just different levels of mature content, add in the very adult True Blood and you have vamp levels for everybody.

      Has anybody else notice that Vampire Diaries has been mentioned her a lot lately? I, of course, don’t mind. (I talk about it A LOT) Is it because Breaking Dawn is just starting production and Vampire Diaries is in full swing? Hmm…pondering…

      BTW, No Cool Name, I can’t wait for your next chapter!

      • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

        Well thanks! I just posted it literally ten minutes ago. :) And I may be biased, but I think it’s a pretty good chapter…wink, wink.

        • TeamSeth

          2 winks?! Is the K rating going to G? I can’t wait to get home. Mr. Seth is out all night at a DJ Shadow show and I can just read read read and watch Doctor Who :D I <3 life.

          • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

            Oh yeah, I got all crrrrrazy and changed the rating to T. I still don’t know what any of those ratings mean.

      • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

        Speaking of Twilight references in other shows.. DIED @ Supernatural. LOL! Thanks for telling me they spoofed Twi.
        “He’s watching her sleep.. that’s so rape-y”
        ..and the passwords.
        …and the flannel.

        So funny

        • Stacey

          Didn’t you just love the beginning with ‘Kristen’ and ‘Robert’ and the dialogue and the plaid shirt and peacoat. I love that show! Oh and the line,”Forget Dracula and Anne Rice, all we needed was Prince Charming in a Volvo.” Brilliant!

          The Simpsons has a Twilight spoof coming the first weekend of November. (I think)

          • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

            YES! I was watching it while Mr. Snow slept next to me and I was trying to contain the chuckles. (He had cough syrup before bed so he was out, but still. If he awoke to me receiting Twilight to the TV… oh brother)
            I fell asleep before the end though.

        • Luludee

          It looks like this year’s Simpsons Halloween special is going to have some Twilight spoofing going on as well. The commercial I saw for it looks like Edward moves into Springfield and sparks fly with Lisa.

          • Edible art ?

            Yes I heard that with “Edward” voiced by Daniel Radcliffe lol big time

          • P.S.

            That is too funny! Please tell me the Simpsons are still on FOX (one of the 5 channels we actually get) and that we haven’t already missed it!

          • Luludee

            P.S. – Yep, it’s still on Fox. The episode isTreehouse of Horror XXI and it’s airing Sunday November 7th.
            There’s a small picture on the link. It looks like Millhouse will be Jacob, lol!

    • TeamSeth

      (but I apparently have 28 episodes to watch to get caught up – worth it?).

      Yes.

      That is all.

    • Midnight_Cyn

      “Vampire Diaries worth it?” Not so much..Ian Somerhalder as Damon..”OH MOST DEFINATELY WORTH IT”..IMO :)

  • The Old One

    Great letter, Ms. Newborn! You really got it in a nutshell: first the disdain for the ridiculous premise, the accidental attention-grabbing surprise of Rob as Edward, the sudden need to devour every word in the books and then to go online and mainline that drug! Welcome to NORMAL!

    • Michelle

      Yeah…ahem. I remember heckling people who thought the ROB was good lucking. “What a goofy looking dude” I thought. Then I read the books…you know, in a few days. Then watched the movie. Then HAD to see everything Rob ever did, read the books of the movies he MAY do in the future and internet stalk him.

      Totally normal.

      Rob/Edward sex appeal trumps all pre-Twi-opinions.

    • P.S.

      How is it possible that we all had such a similar experiences with the books/movies/Rob? Maybe Stephanie’s actually a wicca and has us all under some sort of spell. Oh, nevermind, I’ve been watching too much Buffy.

  • kristen’s bestie

    Great letter Newbie! Lots of laughs at your story! Sometimes I wish I had hidden my Twilove, the coming out stories are always hilarious!
    And I totally want to go as Edward and Bella for Halloween, but that will NEVER happen in my life. Good luck with that!

  • Janetrigs

    Thumbs Up

  • Tracy

    OH DEAR GOD! I’m not the only one! My friends know that I have read the books and watched the movies, but they have no idea how many times I have read the books and watched the movies. Or how many hours I have spent on my laptop looking for anything and everything twilight related. :s BTW…I think I may have my husband convinced to dress up as a vampire for Halloween! EEEKkkkk! :)

    • Michelle

      Schmexy bedroom times a ‘comin. LOL.

      • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

        yeeeeeeeeahhhhhh!

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  • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

    Great letter, Newborn Twi-hard

    It started out the same way for me too..
    -making fun of it
    -devouring it ashamedly
    -loving it
    -making fun of it on LTT out of love.

  • theseviolentdelights

    “Or should I come out of the closet? Should I just be honest with myself and all of my loved ones about my Twi-ality?”

    I stopped being ashamed a while ago and just told people if they asked…I won’t lie, I don’t always get a good response, but I have met some people who I wouldn’t have thought liked them. So I think it worth the risk. :D
    Basically, I found something I love – cheesiness and all – and damn if I let some hater ruin it for me.

  • operarose

    Welcome Newborn! And so sorry you were harassed on Facebook. People don’t know what they’re missing. (Or perhaps they’re outspoken against Twilight for a reason = they’re secretly in love with it, too, but way too cowardly to come out with it and instead over-compensate their deepest fears of coming out of the Twi-closet by heckling fans?) At least that’s what we’ll tell ourselves.

    Secondly, this post prompted me to google Taylor’s song lyrics. Seriously, that girl gives me the impression that she likes to use ‘em then lose ‘em. Ugh. I have no words, except for perhaps an “ew.”

  • MichaelSheenisaDILF

    Welcome Newborn! I am slow-clapping your awesome letter. May we all look forward to the day when Twisexuals won’t be considered as living an “alternative lifestyle” but be accepted as part of the mainstream!

    XOXO

    • BayWolf

      *slow-clapping*
      lol
      I just love that ;-)

      • BayWolf

        I guess you can say that I’m

        slow-commenting..

        Or maybe I’m just slow?

        Have a great day everyone! (to those of you who read comments written by one as comment-slow as me ;-) :-) )

  • TeamSeth

    “Is it possible to dress as Bella and Edward this Halloween and convince people that we are actually trying to be the living embodiment of some sort of social commentary?”

    Um, yeeeah! (said in my best 12 y/o tone)

    Obviously you’re making a statement about the status of teenage suicides and attempted suicides in relation to dead/undead passions in the media (In which case you should put “LOVE IS LOUDER” on your shirts). Or you could be making a statement about how pop culture’s effect via the internet is equivalent to a drug (as you’ve mentioned already). Or even pushing to envelope on family relations in regards to unhealthy, overprotective teenage relationships and oblivious parenting. Perhaps you’re referencing how sporting events can bring families together.

    The opportunities are endless!

    ps-awesome letter

  • Newborn Twi-hard

    Thank you for being so welcoming!

    UC asked that I post a follow-up on my life after Twilight…is there such a thing?

    Since I wrote the original letter (right before Eclipse came out) I have read the books and watched the movies countless times—in the open. While I was uncomfortable with my twi-ality at first, I’ve since fully embraced it and have become a flipper of sorts amongst the civilian population.

    @Edible Art: The first time I saw Twilight, I was not only studying for my final, but also trying to come up with material to mock my poor, defenseless 12 year old daughters. Thus, I totally missed the cafeteria scene. However, when I watched it for the second time the following morning, the cafeteria scene was like meeting Edward for the first time all over again. It. Was. Glorious.

    So is Stephenie finishing Midnight Sun or what? I’m jonesin’ here.

    -Newborn Twi-hard :)

    • BayWolf

      Hey – I feel i kind of missed the welcoming-party..

      I loved your letter – and you really made me laugh with the crack hore thing :-D Seriously – I felt something like that in the beginning – Now I’m better at controlling my addiction :-)

      WELCOME! to the greatest blog ever and forever <3

    • ChillinWithCullens

      Midnight Sun? We can only hope and pray!!! :)

      • kitkat

        you mean pray that she never finishes that book we never want to read, right?
        *wink,wink*

      • P.S.

        Yes, please don’t encourage her. None of us want anything to do with that piece of work. ;)

  • Bella-Dawn

    Loved it! Especially the the drug references, and the comeback! Sometimes I feel like Smeigal from Lord of the Rings when people talk about Twilight….especially when people only watch the movies and think they know! I just want to say “no book Bella would never hop on that motorcycle”! I feel like jumping in the conversation and fixing it then saying “my precious” under my voice.

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      laughing…”my precious”

  • notyourbusiness

    Is this real life?

    • BayWolf

      Jep :-)

  • beth

    I absolutely heart you, Newborn Twi-hard.

  • Esteez

    Welcome to our obsessive world of Twilight. Thank you LTT for giving us a place to open up share with others that don’t feel normal, except here of course. We are normal though, it’s everyone else who isn’t, or still in hiding about there love for Twilight. Or haven’t given in and opened the book already.

    On another note, whose read The Host? Thoughts? I am really hurting for another Stephenie Meyer book (or just the rest of one of my favorites).

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      The Host is good. It’s no Twilight, but our Steph sure has a way of writing that makes it hard to stop reading. So, yes, I think, worth your time.

    • Michelle

      Agree.

      The Host took me forever to understand what was going on (I’m dense apparently)…but totally hooked me. It was good.

    • soldiersarah

      oh its fantastic, had me in tears at the end. you just cant see a happy ending. its brill.
      plus shes making that into a film nx yr, and talking about 2 more host themed books.
      let the ride begin all over again!!!

      • Esteez

        I’ve actually read it twice. The first time was a lot to take in so the second time was better. It had me in tears. i was just curious of others take on the book. Can’t wait for the movie. More books you say?

        • soldiersarah

          did you get the book with the bonus chapter in it? im sure you can read it on SM website.
          oh, i love it. gota wait for breaking dawn to finish so SM can start the host, but shes said the other 2 are ‘the seeker’ and ‘the soul’. not sure if there books or movies though.
          whos your ian? and what would you think to jensen ackles as jared?
          i have a weird SM obsession i think, not a twilight obsession!

          • Esteez

            Yes, got the copy with the bonus chapter and glad I did. I read it in the right space as well. Just before the last chapter I think. I haven’t thought much of who should play Ian or Jared. I had to look up Jensen Ackles. Yes, he would make a perfect Jared! For Ian, maybe Jonathan Rhys Meyers?

  • theC

    Welcome newborn, if there is anyplace in the whole twilight universe,LTT/LTR is truly the best place to be! Loved your letter!

  • Penelope

    “You shut your dirty mouth…” Can I steal that? Seriously? I’m going to start every response to an ahole who hassles me about Twilight that way. I’m going to go further and start saying it. Can I say it retroactively in my memories? Because once, this friend of my husband’s had the absolute gall (gaul?) to say “Yea, but he’s not attractive, so I don’t get it.” “You shut your dirty mouth,” I said… in my memories. In reality, I was a bit dumbstruck and then recovered and said, “Well, you haven’t seen the right pictures. Clearly.”

    Your twi journey describes mine only a year before, I guess. It is crazy wonderful here and, please, don’t shut your dirty mouth.

    • Newborn Twi-hard

      You can absolutely steal it and use it retroactively! I see you’re also a big fan of “clearly!” Love it.

  • Midnight_Cyn

    Hi everyone, sorry so late to the Newbie party but somehow I lost a day or two?
    Anyway, LOVED this letter! :) IMO I am staying IN the closet… (with blanket Eddie), but none the less in the closet…
    Halloween: I am cancelling it this year, at first I blamed it on not feeling well, the noise, the dogs/bird barking/screaming obscenities at EVERYONE but the sad fact is I don’t trust myself…should a tall handsome man looking like Edward appear at my door.I can’t trust this damaged brain to behave, I am not that strong and add to that I don’t want to go to jail..or should a “Bella” show up..again I don’t want to go to jail for smacking her side the head (for kissing Jacob)…better to avoid the possibilities all together!
    Hugs to all and welcome again Newbie..you are amongst friends here :)

    • MidnightCougar

      Hi Cyn, I’m so relieved to see you post something & to know you’re OK. I’ve sent you several e-mails, did you get them? I was worried when I didn’t hear back from you. The wedding pics are gorgeous & so were you. I loved your dress.
      Holy crow Cyn, do I have a health-related story to tell you, about what happened to me last week; I know you’re going to be able to totally relate. When you e-mail me back, I’ll reply with the story.
      Take care & keep in touch. Thinking of you: MC

      • TeamSeth

        I’m so relieved to see you post something so I could see your sexy avi! It’s triggers that Pulp song in my head… “And they make me have to sit down and catch my breath. And it’s so cooooold. And it’s so cooooold.”

      • Midnight_Cyn

        MC, sorry I haven’t responded to your emails! 1st) I haven’t been able to log onto Gmail (I don’t know why) will try again today. 2nd) I had a little mishap that put me out of commission for a couple of days but I promise to try and get back to you ASAP. 3) Hope YOUR okay and I am so sorry I wasn’t able to receive your email to know that something was wrong so that I could help if possible :(! Hugs and I hope your okay!

        • MidnightCougar

          I’m glad you’re OK *HUGS*. I’ll wait for your e-mail, & yes I’m okay, but had a Hell of a scare. Getting old really sucks Cyn! :(

    • Sj

      Nobody can be expected to control themselves under certain circumstances. Just pray the judge is a Twi-freak.

  • frightenedflips

    Mr Flips outs me all the time, TS can attest to this.
    He doesn’t know about the fanfic though – He’d divorce my sparkly ass.
    TS – I thought you said you didn’t read fanfic……..?
    Explain, O Royal Purity Ring Wearer. I’m confused.

  • frightenedflips

    PS – I’m going to be vague this Halloween, and dress up as the Corpse Bride………. get it ? get it? heheheh!!!
    Hiring a black lycra bodysuit that has a skelerton stitched on in glow in the dark material. And wearing my wedding gown over it. Muahahahahahhahahahaaa!
    Best part is, my daughter is dressing up as the Corpse Bridesmaid. Normalness.

  • http://twitter.com/saritapagita SaritaPagita

    This letter was crazy brills and the best damn part was the fb post at the end. Shut your dirty mouth! Love it.

  • Sj

    Dear Newbie- I need some of your attitude please for I am FAIL.

    Recently I joined a writers group (lots of witty intelligent nice types) and there is a FB page for it. So I dusted off my FB login codes, caught up on msg left for me 4 months ago from people I haven’t seen since I was 15 and ‘cool’ friends who have adjusted to my techtardedness long ago, and then ‘friended’ the writers.

    All good….until, 1 week later I check out my status (cause I wasn’t real sure myself) and Holy Crow! there’s a msg notice from LTT on my board. ????!!!!! Lets just say i kind of freaked out wondering who can see these msg?? and spent next 10mins figuring out how to give LTT the cold shoulder treatment and get them the hale off my page. The pain, the guilt…I still feel like a traitor.

    My kung-fu failed, and I am ashamed.

    • JustGoWithIt

      We understand. It’s something you want to share with some people and not others. And wearing your Twilight love on your sleeve feels good in some ways, and not in others. When you don’t announce it to the world it is easier when you’re in a Twi-slump since only other people who probably go through the same thing know about it. On the other hand, if you are own up you are more likely to influence other Twilight lovers to speak up, and then yey.
      Speaking of, I have one friend that will undoubtedly indulge in Eclipse extras with me once I get the DVD. I was thinking it would be fun to get a Scene It game and play, but I don’t know if I have enough Twilight loving friends to play such a thing, or if I have the courage to purchase and announce to my friends and family that I have it, not even having the excuse of having teenagers. Anyone have advice?

      • Sj

        Aww, thanks JGWI. But I still feel ‘dirty’ somehow. Maybe time to hunt up a pair of numchuks. After all, how else am I going to get people to buy me Twicrap for my b’day? I was so sure I had my sister lined up to get me a Jacob Eclipse pen to compliment my Jacob New Moon pen, but obviously she just thought it was all just a joke.

        I don’t get it, who wouldn’t want to get away with buying their sister a b’day gift for under $5.00 and still be sure they’ll love you for it?

    • Newborn Twi-hard

      I wish I could help Sj! Fortunately for me, I’m the biggest a-hole I know.

      Think of it this way…how much Farmville crap from your friends do you have to wade through in a day just to get to your NPR headlines? Talk about losers!

  • http://FaceBook Helen Williams

    Glad to have you Twihard,now you know what the rest of us have had to deal with.Nothing like having Rob to put you to sleep at night.Only if our husband knew.

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