“Cliff notes” on the (irrelevant) numerous Breaking Dawn Characters

You know what I’ve thought once or 10 times since Breaking Dawn buzz has come pouring out? “I need to re-read or at least review this book so I can have some sort of clue who the H all these new characters are.” But…. that requires work. And I’m all about no work these days. Thankfully, East & West Coast Staceys saved the day & did allllll the research for me!

Dear Breaking Dawn and LTT,

Click

Oh my, those Brazil pictures…you know the ones…Bella and Edward kissing in Latin America looking all adorable. Well this post isn’t about those two, it is about how Breaking Dawn has started and the fun of Eclipse filming has started again. This time around, not only do you have the wolf pack to keep track of, but now all of the new vampires. I had noticed that many of us who comment on LTT are having a hard time keeping track of all of these newbies. This wasn’t a concern for me, it only made sense (That book is HUGE!),  until my partner in crime SnowWhiteDrifted aka West Coast Stacey admitted to me that she didn’t know who Garrett is! What! It was okay that she didn’t know the greatness of Lee Pace (a travesty), but Garrett! I write Talk Supe, with the lady! But I am here to help and school you in the new BD characters. Let’s call it :  Demon Baby University (DBU). Here is WC Stacey (SWD) and I discussing the new friends (and Jenks) of Breaking Dawn.
SWD: It’s so true, East Coast Stacey, I NEED your Cliff Notes version of the Breaking Dawn Characters. I just can’t reread this book. The second half just seemed like assigned reading from Lit class, because I just lost interest after, well, …the huge closet. That was my dream come true (once I realized the “fade to black” was really how it was going to be and I needed to find something else swoonworthy, i.e. the closet).

Garrett and Kate: Let’s start with the important one (to me). He is a patriot vampire. That is to say, he was turned during the Colonial times and is still sporting the ponytail. He is also a new romantic lead for an upcoming book about Garrett and Kate. (Okay, not really, but read this Stephenie and make it happen!)  You see his romance with Kate, was the best part of the second half of the book. (Also a very tiny part, so my imagination might have taken some creative liberties. Darn you fanfiction!) Since, I mentioned her let’s talk about Kate. She is one of Tanya’s ‘sisters’. She has an ‘electric’ personality. Seriously, she shocks people. That’s her power, which makes her cool. Unlike, her sister ‘Tanya’ who it appears to have the power of being slutty. Also, I just like the character of Kate. She seems cool, which is why Team Seth should have gotten the role and invited me to visit her on set so I could meet Lee Pace (Thanks a bunch, Condon. * note sarcasm *)
SWD
: Ohhhh, they were from the Alaskan coven, I’m starting to remember (I’m totally lying. And wondering just how much wine was I drinking during my BD reading that I don’t remember a Patriot, I love 18th century dudes! Seriously, look at the $10 bill, Alexander Hamilton is hot… maybe even the original #HotAlex).

The rest of the Alaska Coven:
Tanya
: We all KNOW Tanya. Attempted deflowerer of Edward. Seducer of human men. The casting of which many of us are not to wild about. I am attempting to wait and see on this one. She does look cat like.
SWD
: I remember her hair description. I remember she has platinum blond hair in that cute Drew Barrymore in Scream cut, right? Or wait am I confusing her with the other one? Ugh which one is in Midnight Sun? Midnight Sun, now that (rocked) sucked! I’d rather (have crows peck out my eyes than) read the extended histories of Casius & Carlisle’s Scarf Tying techniques than the rest of  that (masterpiece) drivel.

Irina: Maggie Grace from LOST is playing this character. This is the sister who turns in the Cullens to the Volturi, because her boyfriend Laurent got ripped apart by the wolfpack. Two thoughts: 1. Wouldn’t be great if Laurent would show up in a flashback and 2. She played Ian Somerhalder’s step sister in LOST! (You knew I had to add him in here somewhere.)
SWD
: (*thinks: Smolderholder’s in LOST? Yes, another pop culture phenom I missed.)Yes, we need more Laurent. I want to see more of his Pimp suits.

Eleazer: As previously noted on LTT, he’s being played by Dexter’s Ice Truck Killer. He was very creepy in that. but young looking. I always imagined him looking older and distinguished. Why? Because, Eleazer was the talent agent of the Volturi. Like their own version of Ari from Entourage, finding talented vampires. Hmm…Jeremy Piven might have been an interesting choice.
SWD
: Ha ha got it, Ari= Eleazer, Aro= big budget movie franchise

Carmen: Eleazer’s lady. Liked ‘the baby’. Seems to be an Esme type character.
SWD: “Liked” as in “tried to eat”? Or she really just changed diapers and stuff?
EC: All the vampire ladies were itching to get to those diapers. Which I find odd, since I welcome others to do it for me all the time.
SWD
: You mean your baby right? You’re not sportin’ the Depends are you?

Get more educated after the jump!

The Egyptians:
Amun and Kebi: I like to call him cranky pants and his submissive lady. He annoyed me throughout the second half of the book. I also imagined him very old and his lady wearing a whole Muslim covering for women…you know… the… face covering. The casting once again does not reflect this.
SWD: Totally drawing a blank on these two, but  looking forward to a Vampire burka.
EC: That’s what it’s called. I forgot due to being distracted by Jacob’s ‘patroling’.
Benjamin and Tia: Ben’s like X-Men’s Storm, he can control the weather. The disturbing thing is I imagine him to be 13, with his 13 year old ‘mate’, then I get creeped out.

SWD: So saying something like, “Nice Asp” would be inappropriate?

The Irish Posse:
Siobhan and Liam: Supposedly Siobhan should be curvy and womanly, but with the casting of these movies I am worried she’s going to turn ‘willowy’ and Liam should be a red headed Emmett. They also should have big Irish personalities, oh and drink human’s whose blood tastes like Guinness and whisky.
SWD: Hey, that’s me! I volunteer to be their apéritif (*thinking a red haired Emmett would be all kinds of gingerlicious).
Maggie: Little Irish red head. Can tell when people are lying. Wouldn’t it be funny if she outed Tanya saying she was ‘happy for Bella and Edward’?

Jasper’s Buds:
Peter and Charlotte: They were part of Jasper’s Confederate Vampire days. Maria wanted to kill them or something. It was in Eclipse, I think. It’s all starting to blur together.
SWD: Do you think Peter will bust out his old Confederate soldier uniform and he and Jasper can do some battle reenactments?… Maybe invite Bill Compton to join them?
EC: That would be so awesome. Then Bill can say, ‘Sookeh’. It always makes me giggle.

Random Nomads:
Mary and Randall: Yeah…umm..random.

Best played by Hugh Laurie:
Alistair: Cranky, loner, misanthrope…the only person I can imagine is HOUSE.
SWD: or, you know, Edward during the pregnancy. Heck, any husband during a pregnancy.

Amazons:
Zafrina and Senna: Supposedly, another one Kachiri was on the hunt for ‘demon baby 2, boy edition’. Zafrina has the gift of illusion. If she didn’t live in the jungle, she could be the next Criss Angel, David Blaine or Penn and Teller. I am guessing Senna is like a non verbal magician’s assistant. That’s just so magic. (A little Abby Cadabby, for you Twi-moms out there. But not THOSE Twi-moms)
SWD: I DO remember Zafrina. I kept picturing Whoopi Goldburg in her Sarafina garb.

The Creeptastic Romanians:
Stefan and Vladimir: Not our pretty boy, Stefan Salvatore. I am imagined these two sniveling, wrinkly evil vamps out to get the Volturi. Saw the casting…more pretty boys.
SWD: I thought they’d be a triplet set with Volturi Marcus. I can see them all as, erhm, ol skool drinkin’ buddies… draining small villages and calling ol Vald the Impaler Drac a douche because he was still so whipped on Mina.

Human and ½ and ½ Additions:
J.Jenks: Not Tracy Morgan. * stomps feet in a temper tantrum * However…a great actor from HBO’s The Wire, named Wendell Pierce seems to have the role of the slightly questionable lawyer. Rent The Wire…you’ll see it’s a good fit!
SWD: or as I pictured, “Larry H. Parker got me 2.1 million”. I don’t know if they have L.H. Parker commercials on the East Coast, but out here, he’s as famous as OJ’s Dream Team.
Nahuel: It looks like our boy demon baby is going to be played by an African actor named Amadou Ly. (I can’t see who else he could be.) Well hello there, Nahuel. Forget Team Jacob…I am Team Nahuel.

So I did some research on IMDb and the Breaking Dawn book. Interesting note…There are some character additions that I can’t find ANYWHERE in the book. Who can tell me who Toshiro is? Last time I checked there wasn’t a Japanese vampire.

SWD: I guess all the continents need to represent. It’s in the Vampire United Nation’s contract.

EC: There were also Aro and Casius’s ‘wives’ (Uhh huh, sure.), vamp witnesses, new Volturi guard…I just couldn’t concentrate on them too. How much longer until this darn movie comes out? Also, a disclaimer: I was researching (reading) Breaking Dawn at the same time as watching Vampire Diaries. Those pretty Salvatore Brothers are distracting. I might have missed some things (like actual facts)

From,

East Coast Stacey

How’d they do? Feel informed? Anyone you forgot about? I forgot about…. ummm all of them. Except for Tanya- I can’t forget the girl who tried SO hard for Edward’s attention & failed. I feel like that would be MY luck.

Read more from The Staceys on their blog: Talk Supe

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • chochang

    the vampire united nations made me laugh. agreed. there should be an asian vampire! (tina from glee comes to mind)

  • BrookeLockart

    Ilove the Staceys! Yay! Also, I will enjoy picturing myself as Kate and being chill with Lee Pace.

    • Stacey

      You would also make a great Kate! I don’t know what is wrong with these Summit casting people, because they should just come visit Letters to Twilight and cast all the parts here.

      Lee Pace makes me all kinds of happy!

      • Michelle

        Ohhhh excellent idea! I GET TO BE BELLA!

        Just like calling shotgun biatches! Awww yeah, sexy times with Edward here I come…

      • TeamSeth

        I wanna know who the angry Brazilian maid is going to be on Isle Esme…

  • TeamJacobEdward

    Wait s second. That Maggie chick who’s playing Irina is from Lost? It’s not the same chick who played opposite Rob with those hot love scenes in Remember Me, is it? Because if it is, that might get a little awkward when Kristen steps out of Bella character with applauding when Caius has Irina killed, because Rob looked a little too comfortable getting down and dirty with Lost chick when he’s almost always uncomfortable with her on screen.

    (prepares for down thumbs with teasing Kristen)

    • Stacey

      Hi! :0)

      Different LOST girl. Emile Ravin who was in RM, played Claire who was Charlie’s girlfriend. Maggie Grace was Shannon who was Smoulderhalder’s step sister.

      • The Old One

        Oh, and Charlie was a hobbit in Lord of the Rings and it was odd to see him turn into a heroin addict guitar player.

        • TeamSeth

          I always kept looking about the screen, wondering when Billy Boyd was gonna show up, the fool of Took he is. Though I wished they’d cast the guy who plays Dominic’s brother as Liam in BD. I mean, his character’s name is Liam in LOST–what’s the difference?! That man is all kinds of sexy.

      • Stacey

        A thumbsdown? Seriously? Those were their characters. No making this up. Geez… Or was it calling Ian Somerhalder, Smoulderhalder? Cause that was a compliment to him.

        • The Old One

          No doubt a Robstenian who can’t stand the thought of Rob being in a movie with anyone besides KStew.

      • TeamJacobEdward

        Why the heck did YOU get a down thumb?? That makes no sense. I made the down thumbable comment.

        That’s right! Emily. Got it. (can you tell I didn’t watch Lost?) thank you dear :)

  • Obava

    Another great post, Stacies (or is it “Stacey^2″?)! And a much-needed one, too. I *totally* forgot about Toshiro! (insert sarcasm symbol here)

    I wonder why Summit cast Africans to play the South American vamps- when I read BD, I pictured Zafrina and Senna looking kind of Peruvian- short, stocky, reddish skin.

    xo obava

    • Late convert

      my thought exactly. Last time I checked South America and Africa were different continents. You’d have thought that they could have found at least one South American actor while they were hanging out in Brasil.

    • Stacey

      Well it is Summit casting and both girls look like contestants on America’s Next Top Model. I’m going to watch the movie expecting Tyra Banks to jump out of the forest riding werewolf Paul saying, “You girls look fierce!”

      • Michelle

        The visual on that is allllll kinds of brilliant.

      • kitkat

        Hahahahahaha! With all the kinds of crazy Tyra pulls, I can totally see that!

      • Alice_NaA

        OMG brilliant! She should then also show Jane how to properly smile with the eyes.

  • TeamJacobEdward

    I can’t stop laughing about you saying Tanya appears to have the talent of “being slutty.”

    Slutty succubus trying to steal our Edward’s innocence. What a little harlot… But if it is her “talent” I don’t know if she can help it. In that case, props for trying.

  • http://notanaddikt.blogspot.com Bella_NaA

    Whoa, I had forgotten all about those characters… thanks for the heads up, Staceys!

    Also, thanks for the visual of the Salvatore brother as the Romanian vampires… that manip made my day! Unless we get some abbage from the actualy romanian vamps they cast, they can only be a disappointment next to those pretty bros.

    • Stacey

      I personally think that the Salvatore brothers pictures should be everywhere and they should be cast in everything. (Mostly Mr. Somerhalder)

      The only problem is Stefan’s old man plaid shirts and cartigans might take away from Edward’s old man suits. Those two are such peas in a pod. Stefan is the confederate Edward. Or is Edward the 1900’s Stefan?

      • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedriftd

        *sneaking a package of Werthers into Stefan’s cardigan pockets*

        • Alice_NaA

          Aw I’ve been a bit LTTabsent lately. These type of comments make me realize how much I’ve missed the old days (when we had “lots” to talk about and had no life.)

  • Katie S

    THANK YOU!!! I don’t even need to re-read BD now. :) *loves*

  • kitkat

    Two things:
    1) This post is hilarious and informative all at the same time.
    2) I also pictured the creeptastic Romanians as super old. When are we going to learn that old vampire doesn’t equal old looking? (not that I’m complaining about eye candy…)

    • Stacey

      Honestly, can’t an old guy or girl get turned? At least by accident? I mean the oldest they’ll go is Carlisle? PFach is like 36. No…wait…that Marcus dude looks ancient. Or maybe it’s just the Volturi wear. Those cloaks age you like nothing else!

      • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedriftd

        Volturi unflattering cloaks: WIN. Do we need to do a Volturi wardrobe intervention What Not to Wear style?

        • The Old One

          Yes. Yes you do. Start working on that post, please.

        • TeamJacobEdward

          Yes. You do!

          “What Not to Wear: LTT Edition”

          It could be EPIC. :D

        • Stacey

          Let’s do this!!! I think we would love ‘helping’ the fashion choices of those who create the wardrobe choices for Twilight. Then off to True Blood. But never Sam’s shirts. They are sacred.

          • Stacey

            When rereading that comment I just wrote it sounded weird. I am very tired. Sorry. You know what I mean.

          • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

            Ha haha. I’m worried that all the men will be shirtless (except for Sam, of course, because his shirts are epic)and all the girls WILL be in the Volturi cloaks.

            …wait a minute I have an idea emailing you…

    • howtobe

      Oh man, the dark haired one looks like identical to what I had in my head!….except I didn’t picture him quite so attractive, but hey, it makes sense, they’re vampires…everything about them invites you in; their voice, their face, even their smell. As if they would need any of that. As if you could outrun them. As if you could fight them off. Their designed to kill.

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  • robsfuturemate

    That $10 bill got me thinking…”serious original jaw porn”!

  • allryans

    I do not remember ONE BIT of this information. *blocked out BD* So thanks, Staceys, for the update.

  • http://sttngfashion.tumblr.com Anna

    What a delightful post! I was actually just brushing up on minor characters myself, because one of my dear friends, an actor, was called in to read for the part of Siobhan in the movie! We, of course, died when she got the call. She is not at all willowy, FWIW, but quite busty and lusty, as she puts it. So that’s cool.

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      That IS cool!!

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      Ok, Anna, I clicked on your name and just spent the last twenty minutes on your crazy blog and I can’t figure out how to comment there so I’m doing it here. That is one nutty blog you’ve got going on there but it’s HILARIOUS and I don’t even think I’ve ever seen a single episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. I just called my husband at work to tell him to check it out.

      Too weird/funny. Love it.

      • Bea

        Also just read… also sending to beloved, but dorky, husband. Brilliant!

    • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedriftd

      “Busty and Lusty” body type, LOL, FTW!!!

    • Luludee

      Anna, your blog is frakkin’ hilarious, which should not come as a surprise since you are here and therefore obviously appreciate humor.
      The subject of your latest entry I just so happened to watch a couple of weeks ago on BBC America. Favorite line: “Klingons do not allow themselves to be….probed.” CLASSIC
      I’m bookmarking you when I get home.

    • eclipse22

      hey ANNA,
      just saw ur blog, i’m also a fan of st:tng never thought to watch the series through a fashion angle, i have all seasons on dvd, but still on season 5! haven’t seen that episode yet, maybe i did but watching tng during late night syndication, while fun on the moment doesnt serve my memory! lol, anyhoo bookmarked ur site, so i can browse it later!

  • http://www.twitter.com/ScienceGeek91 Rob’s slow mo’ strut

    HAHAHA that was fun!

    Uh when you said Casius, you meant Caius, right? Poor Jamie Campbell Bower. Not that I follow him, but I heard he’s a fun twitter-er.

    Also, new Vampire Diaries watch-er here. I thought Ian Somerhalder would be the only reason I’d be watching it. I have seen only 4 ep of season 1 and Stefan (the character, not Paul Wesley) is already dazzling me with his sweetness..*dreamy sigh* THose Salvatore brothers are prettahh…

    Hilarious post ladies. And yes, Bill saying ‘Sookeh’ cracks me up EVERY single time!

    • Stacey

      Oops! I did spell Caius wrong. I even had the book in front of me. Sorry Jamie Campbell! In my defense I was watching Ian Somerhalder. #distracting

      I mean last night’s episode…one of the last scenes…I think you know what I’m talking about… :0)

      • http://www.twitter.com/ScienceGeek91 Rob’s slow mo’ strut

        Err actually I don’t :) I’m still catching up on Season 1. But dayumm, Ian (and his quirked eyebrow) makes me tingle like it’s no one’s business.

      • alice_av06

        it Smolderholder how the hell that can not be distracting?? I stop watching lost after he died…

      • TeamSeth

        I don’t know which scene, because he’s hot in all of them. Always. Mmm… now I’m thinking of scotch. I am going to go home for a glass! I love Damon, even if he does eat at my liver every time I see him.

  • howtobe

    Great job, ladies. I think maybe the guy you said is gonna be Jenks is actually gonna be Max, the guy hired to sit in the ghetto and deal with Jenks’ shadier clients. I think this guy (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_hncvnog_3sQ/TMitSTg2dgI/AAAAAAAAAHM/hAvyO0QU-ts/s1600/aa.jpg)
    is actually gonna be Jenks. I may be way off, though.

    And I wanted this guy (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_iq6ssKOaUBs/TLT4AIAZkoI/AAAAAAAAIj8/3mGbh9GWwGs/s320/raj+patel.jpg)
    for Nahuel. Nahuel’s father is Joham (sounds like, what? European, maybe?) and his mother was named Pyre bc she had white skin like the snow (and she was SOUTH AMERICAN). Dude should be a little lighter.

    • Stacey

      The casting for this thing is VERY confusing. I was thinking Wendell Pierce would have the bigger role due to the prominence of his roles on HBO’s The Wire and Treme. The two shows are very well regarded and an actor like Pierce could really class up the movie. It is Summit, so really you never know.

      The actor who might, might not play Nahuel would be an interesting choice. Or maybe, just because he reminds me of a guy I knew in college. Except that guy had a British accent and from the info on IDMb this actor speaks French. I must say though the picture of the guy in that link you attached would be great!

  • Michelle

    Eeeekkkk! The Hillywood Show’s Eclipse Parody is out! YAY YAY YAY!

    The ending rocks! LMBO. Here’s a hint…

    Feathers. ;)

  • http://www.twitter.com Moonjenn

    Forgive me, TwiGods, for I have sinned.

    Confession: I haven’t looked at all the new casting pics yet. On purpose. Gotta reread the book first.

    Confession #2: I kinda wanna skip to the end of BD and read up on all the new vamps and read the battle scene cause it’s ohsoawesome.

    Confession :3: When I read the book I pictured Zafrina as the hot Amazon-looking woman on another planet from the original Power Rangers movie. Umm… yeah. Did anyone else in the UNIVERSE watch that movie?

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  • The Old One

    Thanks so much for this post, Staceys!
    –Alexander Hamilton = Hot. You’re right! Who knew!
    –By the way, how did Irina KNOW that Laurent was killed by the wolfpack?
    –Eleazar: Who here is old enough to remember Ricardo Montalban and his character Khan in Star Trek? That’s how I imagine Eleazar.
    –Vampire burkas.
    –Zafrina/Sarafina. The inside of your head is a very interesting place.

    • Stacey

      Irina found out by…umm…well…the book never says how exactly. huh…

      Is Alexander Hamiliton the one that looks like Kenicke from Grease? Nope, that’s the $20.

      • TeamSeth

        I think it’s assumed that somewhere between the Cullens learning of his demise and the wedding, someone in the Cullen clan tells the gals. I mean, when he never came back, the girls might have done a little digging… If my sexy pimp-suited lover never returned, I’d dig.

        • LatersBaby

          Carlisle…he always has to be so honest.

    • Stacey

      You know what’s funny, I just packed my copy of Breaking Dawn and unpacked an entire box just to check about Irina. It was going to drive me crazy if I didn’t.

    • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedriftd

      How wrong is it that I actually checked out money?!

      • TeamSeth

        It takes rubbing yourself with cash to another level…

  • Midnight_Cyn

    :)MISS YOUALL! HOPETO BE BACK SOON CANT READ HERRE BUT IF YOU WANT TO EMAIL ME AT MY GMAIL ADRESS MY NARATOR CANRED THEM TO ME AND I CAN RIGHT BACK. HUGS TO EVEYONE! XOXO

    • http://mainericefamily.blogspot.com no cool name

      Miss you, dear! (Or, “deah.”)

  • Sassysmart

    Am I the only one that pictured the Romanians as those two muppets that would critize all the performances from the balcony?

    • The Old One

      We’ve been treated to the Barbie version of Breaking Dawn. I want to see the Muppet version!

      • Stacey

        If Sesame Street can do a spoof of True Blood, excuse me, True Mud. Then a sparkly count with Edward should be next. 1..ha ha ha…2 ha ha ha…3…ha ha ha….

        • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

          Muppets!
          Emmett is soooo “AAAaaannnnniiiiimmmmmaaaaaallll”
          Carlisle’s Kermit.

        • The Old One

          Miss Piggy as Rosalie.

        • P.S.

          And then the singing, dancing chickens show up on Isle Esme, feathers flying everywhere.

          • TeamSeth

            It would explain all the eggs

      • howtobe

        Wait, did we get the ENTIRE barbie breaking dawn? If so, I missed the last installment. and BTW, barbie breaking dawn was effing hilarious.

    • TeamSeth

      OMG! I read comments upwards and totally posted their picture in reference to the Romanians! Team Curmudgeons Forever!!!

  • Luludee

    Staceys, you gals rock! This was so great!!

    I defs remembered the South American and Egyptian vamps. After being reminded of the Irish vamps, I remember them, but I can’t remember the Romanian vamps at all. Actually I remember them being mentioned – that the Volturi overthrew them – but I guess I thought that meant they’d been killed off.

    Of them all, I remember Garrett for sure. He said something to Kate like “I’ll follow you anywhere” or some other equally hot, Daniel-Day-Lewis-Last-of-the-Mohicans-esque line that had me swooning hardcore. So I am LOVING that Lee Pace will be playing him.

    • theseviolentdelights

      ‘ “If we live through this,” Garret whispered to Kate, “I’ll follow you anywhere, woman.” ‘ – BD pg.724

      Not obsessed, just thorough.
      (Ok, maybe a teensy bit obsessed with Lee Pace, but that is besides the point)

      • TeamSeth

        “Now you tell me!”

      • Luludee

        Yes!! That line totally stuck out to me!! I think I re-read it or that paragraph like 10 times. So much potential…

    • TeamSeth

      “but I can’t remember the Romanian vamps at all. ” WHATTT?! How can anyone forget the name Vladimir and all of its sexiness?! They’re totally the bitter curmudgeons of the whole affair. To the point that I think I will just start being Team Curmudgeons from henceforth. I may even change my avitar…

      • Luludee

        Well I do seem to remember them being mentioned in regards to real werewolves as well. I think they killed them or at least cleared them out of Romania? I don’t know! I was very stressed out by BD because I had to leave and go to a dumb baby shower right before the non-climax of the story! All I could think about was who was going to die and how it would end! I was suffering hard-core withdrawls that day…I might have been more twitchy than Kristabells!!

        • TeamSeth

          I did the research for you, and got to read one of my fave bits of the series (when Bella grins at Jane smugly.) The Curmudgeons are not the hunters, Caius is…or at least he had hired help for it. Here’s the bit from Happily Ever After chapter, I have the pdf version, so I can’t give a proper page number, though my guess is about 15-20 pages after the swoonworthy Garrett line (ellipses ‘cuz there’s erroneous dialogue in between):

          … “The true Children of the Moon rarely move in packs, and they are never much in control of themselves. Sixteen enormous regimented wolves was a surprise they weren’t prepared for. Caius is actually terrified of werewolves. He almost lost a fight with one a few thousand years ago and never got over it.” Edward said.

          “So there are real werewolves?” I asked.

          “There aren’t very many of them left. Caius has had them hunted into near extinction.” Edward said.

  • Twi Mom(not like on O)

    Great post! I for one have not kept up too much on the casting. (I will now go to IMDB) There are just too many extras in Bd.

    I do however have thoughts on a few of the more main newbies.

    Eleazar- Khan from Star Trek FTW

    Vald and Steph- sort of along the lines of Marcus but more wrinkly. Maybe a bit like the lead male vamp in Underworld, I have no clue what his name is.

    Maggie- Kind of an older red head version of Shirly Temple.

    Garrett- Heath Ledger from The Partiot (thats the one with Mel Gibson right?)

    I always pictured the Amazon women as super tall and really long limbed, but I have no one specific in mind.

    House as Alistair HAHA!! Perfect.

    I have to stop now!! It took me forever to write this because I had to keep refering to the post to make sure I got names right.

    • P.S.

      I haven’t kept up on the casting at all either, but I kept picturing the Amazons as Serena & Venus Williams.

      And Hugh Laurie isn’t really in the cast is he? He WOULD be perfect! <3 House!

  • Alice_NaA

    Somehow I have a feeling that Summit came up with “Toshiro” the following way:

    Summit person: Ok guys, I think we need to have an Asian vampire as well. Lots of fans back in Japan. Anyone know any Japanese?… Come’on people. Show some initiative here!
    Make-up girl: Shiseido?
    BigDaddy: Sushi?
    technician: Sony? Toshiba?
    Summit person: Toshiba! I kinda like the sound of Toshiba. Very Japanese! (to writers:) make it work!

  • theseviolentdelights

    On the whole ‘Garrett knows how to fire a musket':
    I’m pretty sure he can do a LOT with his musket.

    • TeamSeth

      If not, he can eat my apple pie any time.

      • theseviolentdelights

        And, if he likes a variety, he can always have some loquat pie.

  • TeamSeth

    Awwww, thanks, Staceys! Yeah, I would’ve definitely gotten you inside the backdoor with Lee, all puns intended.

    Tanya’s theme song? Why was she even into the Edster anyway… he’s so the monogamous kind, and he doesn’t even like eating polar bears–They’re NOT bears! (wait, what?)

    Record scratch–Isn’t little Ben able to control all earth-ness? I thought he created a giant earthquake/crack in the ground during the “battle”… Shit, even with your notes I’m lost. Good thing I restarted BD four weeks ago (and am still on chapter 1) Seriously, can Bella be any more annoying with her paranoia about people seeing her ring? For someone who’s supposedly selfless, she sure spends a lot of her time thinking about herself and how much people are looking at her.

    I would like a steamy igloo sex scene between Irina and Laurent. Seeing how Maggie handled Saeed on LOST, I think we know she can handle a little Edi (or, rather, a big Edi… oh heeey) She can even be wearing the new Polar Bear sweater from urban outfitters to keep the theme… and Laurent will say “Oh, Irina, they’re NOT bears!” then rip it off her CUT TO Irina in front of Aro yelling, “They’re WOLVES! Giant WOLVES!” and Caius throws down the severed human head goblet he’s drinking from and says, “Irina, what were you doing in the woods?!” “I was looking for… demon spawn!” CUT TO a close up of angry Xavier eyes, just because.

    So saying something like, “Nice Asp” would be inappropriate? HIGHLY! (This made me pee my pants a little, btw)

    I always imagined JJenks would look a little more like JJ from Spiderman… anyone? No? Okay, nm. I also imagined the computer that Bella google maps his ghetto entrance on to be something from 1999. Windows 98! But I’m guessing it’ll be her ipad (heh)

    Speaking of ipads, I think this is who Toshiro is… Perhaps they’re going to actually show them going around the world to recruit vamps to Team Demon Spawn?

  • Kim

    So this may sound strange, but did anybody else picture Danny Devito as J. Jenks? Because I sure did–and still do– whenever I reread BD. I find it funny that the guy playing him is nothing like Danny Devito, I must have gotten it way wrong.

    • P.S.

      Yes, Danny DeVito has always been my J.Jenks!

      • LatersBaby

        Yes!!!!

    • The Old One

      Yes! All sweaty, nervous and shifty!

  • LissyLoo

    Win staceys!!
    This is just what I needed! Am saving my re-read of BD for closer to the next movie release date as I’ll forget it all again anyway if I read it now. But at least I know who they are again now! 

    • TeamSeth

      I thought about waiting on the reread, but I think that if I do it now I’ll forget a lot by the time the movie rolls around, which will make all the deviations more tolerable.

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