Movefone helps us figure out who’s on The List!

Are you on it?

Dear Summit,

You know that “list” we’re always talking about… the list with the names of all the crazies who set stalk, call you daily, want to BE Kristen or Rob or Taylor or Mike Welch or have been found in the bushes outside of Rob’s parents home? If you need video or pictures to help train your staff on how to distinguish people who should be on “the list” that I think I’ve found your answer.

It looks like MovieFone’s done ALL the legwork for you. They have a contest going where fans submit videos explaining why they’re the biggest Twilight fan. All you need to do is contact Moviefone, watch these videos and then perform a sting operation to infiltrate the crazies lair of crazy (I’m trademarking that) and take these people down

How to spot someone on “The List”

Exhibit A:

1. If someone says “this is more than an obsession, it’s a way of life.” You need to give them the side eye and the simultaneous head nod to have security send them to the “safe zone” aka the back of the paddy wagon. Decorate it with Twilight posters and they’ll think they’re in a special after party location instead of being driven to the edge of town and dumped after the event is over.

2. If someone mentions anything using the word “bullets” whether taking one for a cast member or has a membership to the gun club or tells you they just finished their 7 day mandatory wait period before buying a handgun, don’t hesitate, immediately illuminate the “Twi Signal” in the sky (a sparkling paw print) and have Dean or the Po-po take them down.

3. During the above mentioned sting operation, when you bust through the door of their home like the Feds looking for Elian Gonzalez if you see movie quotes such as “You are my life now” proceed with take down. Use a rolled up Harpars Bazaar or Vanity Fair as a gag if they start getting mouthy or quoting Twilight

4. Are they wearing a wedding dress and veil for unexplained reasons?

5. Is there any sort of Twilight Tattoo involved?

6. If someone has both Edward & Jacob posters on her wall, grab her fast. She’s not picky- she’ll take either and they are the craziest kind.

7. If the posters are ALL Kristen, they’re a Krisbian and they can be the most hardcore and most dedicated, so take them down immediately or risk them using their well practiced “Bitch brow” to stare you into submission. And no one wants to be stared at like a petulant teenager.

You see Summit, with my handy checklist and this video you’ll be able to spot the crazies and get rid of them as necessary so that the rest of us can enjoy all Twilight events without having to wear the Twilight bullet proof vest that’s available at Hot Topic.

Now will you take US off the list? Thanks!
Themoonisdown

Do you think you’d be on the list? Is this girl crazy or normal? Can you identify or are you too busy painting Twilight quotes on the wall of your cell bedroom?

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  • Purples_Cool

    So you’re saying that scribbling Twilight quotes on the walls of your apartment with the grease of a hot pocket is wrong? Having jumping Rob printed out and made into wallpaper for a special playroom ala MOTU style would get me on the list? Shut up. Really?

    • JumpingROBlover

      Juming Rob does never get anyone on THE LIST. I think ever Summit understand the obsession. I think they might ever have their own cardboard jumping rob in their offices.

      • TeamSeth

        I bet they already do… actually, perhaps they’ve all mimicked the exact pose/expression and then merged it with this image.

        • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

          I want to the manipped version of that but replace the bling with feathers.

  • Rachel B

    She doesnt need a tattoo to show her love… its already tattood on her heart. awwwwww how cute cazy!

    • JustGoWithIt

      I’m kind of glad Twilight wasn’t circa my high school days, I might have been her. Although that would have beat obsessing over getting perfect rips in my jeans and scoring pot…….

  • Bea

    It’s been awhile since you guys posted a video so second-hand embarassing that I couldn’t finish watching it. This one joins Kellan’s mammogram promo in the hall of fame…

  • GeminiGypsy

    apparently she walked into a pool because she was reading a twilight magazine? You know, she’s kind-of lost her grip on reality… doing school projects about twilight? her teachers must be really annoyed about that.

  • Brooke Lockart

    *waits to see if certain friend(s) admit to being on this list*

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  • MidnightCougar

    I can probably label myself & my daughter as Twihards; & we love being a part of this amazing Twilight Fandom, but it does not rule our lives. As a mother, I find that video quite disturbing. I can’t even be second-hand embarrassed for her, “…this is more than an obsession, this is a way of life.” WOW, that’s a heavy statement. I wonder if she or her parents have ever heard of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder)?!

    • JumpingROBlover

      I know what you mean. I was so second hand embarrassed that I couldn’t watch the whole thing. That does not sound right. And somehow the girl seems sooo proud that she was like. “Hey guys have you every seen anybody as crazy as me? No I didn’t think so”.. awesome…

      • TeamSeth

        Love is louder.

    • JustGoWithIt

      The thing about OCD is there is usually more secret keeping about the obsessions, so not to worry here. Professing your love for Twilight has proven to be a legitimate way to maybe go on a talk show, meet some of the cast (think Oprah special), so I don’t blame her for going there. At least she’s not one of those kids that pretends THEY are a vampire or a werewolf, that is so much worse.

  • blackgirltwihard

    “Decorate it with Twilight posters and they’ll think they’re in a special after party location” DEAD…LMAO!!!!!

    Usually I can justify my craziness…. but last night when I was supposed to be doing schoolwork, and cleaning and packing for an out of town move (mind you I have 3 kids) I was on You Tube. Normally when I see the Robsten vids I’m like “Ok Cute” bc one sneaks in there when I’m listening to the audiobooks. Most are set to recent songs I don’t know and then I stumbled upon like 3 vids with songs I used to love. One was set to Paula Abdul “Rush Rush,” “Iris” Go Goo Dolls, and even Shanice’s “I love your smile” from like the 8th grade (Whaaaaaaaaaaaa’?)’

    SO I’m not on the list, but on a smaller scale somewhere, I’m definitely classifiable. I have waaaaaaaay too much shit to do these days…than to watch Bella/Edward Rob/Kristen Youtube vids…WTH!!!!

    All I know is when Breaking Dawn comes out, these video people are gonna take them to a whole’ nother level after the honeymoon scenes..SMH.

    • JustGoWithIt

      I really want the audio books, especially since I just lent my printed set to a friend, and you never know if you’re going to get them (all) back.

    • Luludee

      I totes have “I Love Your Smile” stuck in my head now!! I had forgotten all about that song, and I’m not ashamed to say that I still love it. :)

  • theC

    I confess….I have a framed and mated promo poster of Edward/Bella from twilight hanging on my wall,maybe I should just go and take it down now,that video gave me the heebie jeebies. I like to consider myself a collector not a crazie.

  • Stacey

    I…wow…don’t know what to…well she’s young. Was I like that with My So-Called Life back in the day. I had two Jared Leto posters. Since I was 16 that was okay, right? I didn’t follow (stalk) him, like this young lady seems to enjoy doing to Twilight actors. With a wedding veil on. (What?!?) Nope, definitely didn’t do that. I wonder what her parents think of this?

    I am just going to apologize to all the actors. If I see you on the street I solemnly swear to give you a polite smile and go on my way. Probably, because I will see a crowd of screaming crazies about to cutoff all your hair with scissors and smother you with crushing hugs. I really don’t feel inclined to be trampled to death.

    • TeamSeth

      I will only stop for Cudmore, and mostly because he’s so giant I’d stop even if he wasn’t famous and I didn’t have a crush on him (and because I live closer to him than all the other stars–well, besides Solomon Trimble. I always hope he’ll board my bus one day and I’ll get a photo and a signature and ask if I can braid his hair. Yeah, I would do that, for you people here!)

    • TeamJacobEdward

      I love you even more now. I didn’t know you loved MS-CL and Jared.

      I loved My So-Called Life and was in love with Jared Leto. I even started a letter begging them to bring the show back when I heard they were canceling it. I was in my early teens, I never sent the letter and did no stalking (Just a few posters) so I wasn’t SUPER crazy. Right?

      Mmmmm Jared. So hot. Yeah. I still love him lots.

  • chochang

    that part where she asks if she’s normal, i literally thought in my head “oh NO girl, that’s wayyyy beyond the LTT standards of NORMAL”

    • TeamSeth

      she needs to take the robsessed quiz but sub “rob” for “twilight franchise” LEVEL 10. Of course, when is Twilight’s birthday month–that’s one of those moments where you have to ask The book? The movie? The author? The editor? The publisher? The jacket cover? So many options. I hate those tests that don’t specify… then you have to go and realize “I’m over thinking this. I’m not David Slade. Just pick the most obvious answer.” Sigh. I hate that. I wish Slade and I were friends. Our weiner dogs could hang out (okay, I don’t have one… yet)

  • Ambella

    her rocking back and forth got to me……like she had practice from being in a padded room/straight jacket…….

    was just gong to pull out my BK eclpse toys and hot glue gun and make twilight ornaments for a mini christmas tree (that would have to be out of my husbands eyesight)….that probably puts me on “the list’……why can’t I celebrate JC and EC in the same way?!

  • Janetrigs

    I couldn’t bare to watch this video, because I can’t watch any video while I am at work, so whatever. I can imagine what it entails though, and that is cray cray.

    Only thing this post is missing is the Elian Gonzalez TAG, duh.

    Maybe we can argue with Crazies today, eh Brookie?

    • Brooke Lockart

      Sadly, work is keeping me too busy to argue with crazies. You KNOW how I love to antagonize the crazy.

      • TeamSeth

        Yeah, janetrigs especially knows. OOH BURN! (teehee)

  • kitkat

    After having just watched a biggest Harry Potter fan video (in which the guy calls himself Harry, uses a spell to lift the camera, and has three visible HP tattoos, including J.K. Rowlings’ signature…) I couldn’t bring myself to watch a Twi one. Sometimes, people make me wonder. Unfortunately, in regards to Twilight, “sometimes” is turning into “a lot of the time.”

  • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

    Sooo, those two guys in the arm bar pic… White Yorkie and the Font?

    *…wonders what happened to them.*

  • JustGoWithIt

    The Nordstrom models look like they are doing their best Edward and Bella. I like looking for subliminal Twilight, like car commercials that have music that sound like the score that was playing when Edward follows Bella into the woods to reveal that he is a vampire in Twilight.

    • Ambella

      I thought the same thing. Like they are in”cullen colors”……..I kinda see Twilight in everything now, i.e. : Ronald Mcdonad has a red boufaunt :-)

      • JustGoWithIt

        Another are all the wool pea coats out this winter. Or maybe that is every winter………….

        • TeamSeth

          I talked Mr. Seth into buying one… a gray one too, even though he likes to only wear black. Quite an exciting moment.

          • JustGoWithIt

            Does Mr. Seth know that it was a Twilight related purchase?

          • TeamSeth

            Afterward.

          • JustGoWithIt

            devious! Nice work.

    • TeamSeth

      I love that song! That part! When she gives him the look and he’s all, “Oh shiit!”

  • chochang

    slightly off-topic but any of u girls watched the Trekkies documentaries?? those were SCARY. i’d take that girl on the video over those Star Trek nerds any day..

  • TeamSeth

    Forget the arm bar, check out that guy in the helmet in the upper right hand corner! Smart thinker!!! Gotta keep that cerebral in there…

    Speaking of cheaper expensive clothes, JCrew opened a factory store online!

    And before you give it the ole TM, make “crazies” possessive :) both crazies’ and crazies’s are technically correct (I remember learning this using Zeus as an example in 5th grade–I wonder if I have a weird affinity for lightning bolts. Speaking of, HP7 TONIGHT, BABY!)

    • JustGoWithIt

      Is it coming out tonight? I only really liked a few of the movies. I’ll go see it in the theater, more of chance of being impressed on the big screen.

      • TeamSeth

        Yeah! :D Me and Mr. Seth have tickets for 7:30 tonight (PST) So excited!

    • TeamJacobEdward

      *ahem* yeah I just got home from seeing it…

      • TeamJacobEdward

        (HP – DH: PI)

      • theseviolentdelights

        Was it a double rainbow of epicness like I’m expecting it to be? #jealous

        • TeamSeth

          This made me think of the muppets… and songs about rainbows… and what’s on the other side? They’re only visions, simply illusions–what do they have to hide?

          • theseviolentdelights

            LMAO The rainbow connection!

        • TeamJacobEdward

          I loved it. :)

          Of course I wished I didn’t have to wait until july to see Part II…

          • TeamSeth

            Just got back myself now. I was really pleased with this one. I’m glad I have to wait. I want to save Harry Potter. Always.

  • theseviolentdelights

    “illuminate the “Twi Signal” in the sky (a sparkling paw print)”

    I think the ‘Twi Signal’ should be a sparkling Eddie with a giant chastity belt.

  • TeamJacobEdward

    I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that despite my name, I am not like point #6. Contrary to what my name may suggest, I will not take either, if any of you are wondering. It is purely a husband reference, not a “take either” reference.

    Thank you.

    • TeamSeth

      Sure, sure. You’re just caught in a bad romance ;)

      I would like to take this moment to remind everyone that I am not a pedophile, and that I simply like the character Seth in the BOOKS. ahem.

      • TeamJacobEdward

        Uh-huh. Suuurrre. I know better. I’ve seen Chris Hansen’s “watch list.”

        ;)

        • TeamSeth

          Who are you, Umbridge? Hansen would totally hook up with someone like that… (gonna make a kitty me-ow taken to a whole gross level)

          • TeamJacobEdward

            Ooooo! BURN!

            Yow! That one hurt. I hate Umbridge with the fire of a thousand suns.

            And. Ew! Ew ew ew! Yeah no, Buttcrack Santa shouldn’t even attempt that kitty meow. Plus, I think she was born without the ability to meow, anyhow. My theory is that is why she’s such a complete, total and utter bitch. It’s because of her failed relationship with get own kitty and being unable to make it speak. Making her sadistic. It’s also why she’s obsessed with little meowing kitties… which makes her a pretty big masochist too.

            No. Not Umbridge. *shudder* Besides, *lowers voice to a whisper* I loved book Seth too. A lot. In the same non-lover way. I get it. He just seemed like a super great person to know. He was one of those characters you just really wanted to hang out with.

  • Kim

    I must say my favoite part of the post: #7 “If the posters are ALL Kristen, they’re a Krisbian and they can be the most hardcore and most dedicated, so take them down immediately.” I just about died laughing when I saw that. Also, I definitely wouldn’t mind having a life size cut out of Rob in my bedroom like the girl in the video. I should to get one of those, maybe for Christmas….

  • Luludee

    “Has anyone else made up songs about Twilight?”

    Clearly this chick has not heard of Amanduh, and therefore she is FAIL.

  • ticketgirl

    There is def something wrong with this chick. I didn’t even laugh while watching this one. I am a mother of a 15 yr old girl and all I can say is if she started acting like this….I would be getting her pro help asap. i guess i live in my own LTT/LTR world where the “norm” is nothing but awesomeness cause i had no idea :)

    WARNING TO ERVYONE: If someone you love begins stalking Mike Welsh, its DEFs time for an intervention. Just imagine the damage this girl would do in the presence of BC Santa?!?!?! SAVE THE SANTA!!

    • TeamSeth

      I want a shirt that says SAVE THE SANTA… Just in time for the holidays!

      And maybe one that says Intervention! And has a picture of the two sharks from Finding Nemo holding back a twicrazy after Mike Welch (with his face being maniped onto jumping Rob and leaping off the shirt–SWD, can you do 3D images on shirts?) Hm, maybe I should get this similar shirt for my bachelorette party except with the sharks holding me back in a wedding dress lol Take note RachelB!

      • ticketgirl

        i am so down for a SAVE THE SANTA tee. Waylon in a santa hat and a tree in the background decorated with little bottle ornaments.

        • TeamSeth

          Now that’s my kind of tree ;)

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  • http://letterstotwilight.com letterstotwilight

    I’m feeling very unpopular right now with NO comments- but have no fear LTTers, we are currently updating our comment system- all your old comments will soon be seen & we’re on to bigger, better comment systems! WHoo hoo!!!!

    • http://letterstotwilight.com letterstotwilight

      Can I reply to myself? Well, look at that….

  • Niki77

    I am literally speechless after watching this video. Anita is one creepy little girl. Get her into the back of that paddy wagon boys!

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