News Dump: The one with a lotta Sundance and a lotta Renesmee

Double feature now showing!

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s time to catch up on the news that only needs a sentences worth of discussion. Yes, it’s time for another News Dump! So put on your Bella jacket and mittens cause there’s a whole lotta Sundance!

  • In between holding still for the screenings, Elizabeth talked about Kristen and Mackenzie. Don’t bother watching, it’s everything you expect: “Kristen scared me!” and “She looks like their child!” Boom, saved you 4 minutes!
  • Apparently it must be a Holy Trinity week of filming cause Charlie Bewley is ALSO at Sundance and he dropped this awesome gem when asked about Renesmee:

“I imagine if Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart had a kid it’d be like this grungy…awkward and shy kind of thing,” jokes Charlie Bewley, who plays Demetri in the vampire movie franchise.

Dare to NAIR ladies

  • I’m sure it’s a BIG DEAL that artist Richard Phillips included Rob, Kristen and Dakota on his “Most Wanted” list and created pop images of them but I’m not so sure the girls appreciate the weird shadows on their upper lips that look oddly like mustaches.
  • WHO wasn’t at Sundance? Chaske Spencer ALSO dropped by the gifting suites to debut his new hair and announce he joined Fall Out Boy and will be quitting BD and touring this spring with the band. Then he bequeathed the role of Sam back to Solomon Trimble who clocked out at Home Depot and jumped on Cathi Hardi’s private jet for Sundance. Free shiz it free shiz however you get it.
  • Bella’s house was pulled out of storage (a Vancouver Twimom’s garage) and reconstructed over the last few days. It looks more like a Sears Siding commercial or the AFTER tornado view of Dorothy’s house in Kansas than the home of the Swans.

Things that are important to note from this video:
1. Jackson’s Jasper hair is back. The REAL Jasper hair. Like Twilight Jasper hair. We may need to get a muffin basket together for the BD hair folks
2. The 100 Monkey have a REAL, ACTUAL Tour bus???
3. In 5 years Jackson may be on Dancing with the Stars… or Dancing with the hands-y fans.
4. Who does Jackson give HJ’s to regularly at MTV that the 100 Monkeys keep showing up on this MTV videos?
5. Jackson seems to have dropped the totally over the top accent plus side mouth talking thing a bit. He must read LTT. *Hi Jacky!*
6. That one dude totally wishes he was Jackson. Sorry dude jumping around in the back who’s name I don’t know. Enjoy it while it lasts!
7. Does Jackson have one suitcase fully devoted to his WEIRD hat collection?

  • If you weren’t scared about bringing Breaking Dawn to the big screen you will be after you see this fan art I dug up over at Twifans. WOAH. Someone hold me.
  • BREAKING NEWS: Still no new set pictures or actual evidence that they’re doing anything in Baton Rouge. SHOCKING.

Off to the gifting suites… I mean Sundance!
Themoonisdown

Srsly how are 100 Monkeys still being featured on MTVonline on the regular? I don’t get it.I was mean about Liz’s fivehead but for reals, side sweep, am I right? What say you?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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  • Anonymous

    Thank you (for the most part) for the newsdump. Always good to see the latest news subjectively presented by LTT :)

    A few thoughts:

    Sundance: way to milk your fame for everything it’s worth, supporting Twi cast (not being sarcastic. I’d do the same thing. Glittery film festival? Freebies? I’d be there too…)

    Bella’s House: That’s the way the house is supposed to look. Apparently Beller and Edward just had their hot vampy love scene on, around, in, and at the house’s foundation and walls. Or else Renesmee just had a “terrible twos” tantrum.

    Most wanted: Sigh. Should have been called “been there, done that” (with Warhol 50 years ago). The garish mustaches must have something to do with the overall message of the painting. I imagine it has something to do with waxing and the obsession with hair follicles in today’s society. But I digress.

    Fanart: Puke puke puke. Please post a “brain bleach required” warning first thing in the morning!

    • Moon

      its so much more fun the scare the beeejeeezus out of everyone with that creepy fan art. its like a crime scene!

      • Anonymous

        and we keep coming back for more. Insert lame quote about masochistic lion here…

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for saving me the 4 minutes of watching Liz. No thank you for the fan art. That’s the most disturbing thing I’ve seen since the knitted, felted “Bella’s Womb with Fetal Demon Baby”.

    • http://twitter.com/Shahyra Natasha

      THIS!!!!!! knitted, felted “Bella’s Womb with Fetal Demon Baby” I still get twitchy eyes when I think about it!

    • MariaCecilia

      What if they start selling little BD eggs that you put in water, and when it hatches, out comes a small, perfect Renesmee that grows in a week to twice its size? (My kids got those for Christmas. With dinosaurs in them. Lol)

      • TeamSeth

        That’s basically epic.

      • http://twitter.com/tracitalynne Traci Olsen

        OH MY GOD somebody make this please. It is entirely possible you are a genius.

      • Moon

        THATS exactly what renesmee is!!! hit the nail on the head

    • Anonymous

      Of course had to goolge ‘knitted, felted “Bella’s Womb with Fetal Demon Baby” ‘ and it has completely exceeded all my expectations. Hire this tween Summit, now!

  • P.S.

    Whoa, that fanart was…unexpected. Why? Why would someone want to draw that?

    And I was hoping to hear some 100 monkeys music in that clip. I keep meaning to google them, but just never get around to it. Oh well, maybe later.

    • MariaCecilia

      You wanna see 100 monkeys? Go to the zoo.. (Just kidding! Respect the Dude’s music people. I’m sure I do..?)

      • TeamSeth

        The Dude as in Big Lebowski? This reminds me (OTly) of when Luludee mentioned the other day that she was going to Big Daddy’s Cafe and I immediately thought she meant Olive Garden. Nope, she did not mean that.

    • Moon

      you dont need to! dont worry about goggling. take my advice

  • P.S.

    Whoa, that fanart was…unexpected. Why? Why would someone want to draw that?

    And I was hoping to hear some 100 monkeys music in that clip. I keep meaning to google them, but just never get around to it. Oh well, maybe later.

  • Anonymous

    I need to unsee that ………

  • Stacey

    That fanart made me want to gouge out my eyes. Good god, why? The artist is not bad so, of all the things in this world to draw, he/she chose that?!? You know what I like to draw…flowers, scenic street scenes or perhaps the ocean.

    Is it for maybe a comic book? That would somewhat make sense. But if it isn’t…would you frame that? Hang it over the fireplace with a drawing of bearskin rug magicness done lovingly in fingerpaints? The possibilities of this are disturbingly endless.

    • Anonymous

      I agree. Even a freaky Isle Esme scene would have been better than this.

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Should be in the “It’s Time You Know” pamphlet that they give out in 9th grade, to get teens familiar with the fact that if you have brutal sex with a vampire before you are turned, THIS is what happens. No text necessary.

      • TeamSeth

        HEHEHEHE! Thank you, I needed that laugh today :)

        (of course I initially read that as “It’s time! It’s time!” #normal)

    • TeamSeth

      Maybe it’s for the pending graphic novel RLSH?

    • Anonymous

      I think I might be more disturbed by the praising comments of the fanart, than the art itself.
      Although, I think it might actually be less “gorey” than what was in my head.

      • Anonymous

        I was rather disturbed by the comments, and the blood on Jacob’s mouth. What was he doing?

        • Anonymous

          Ravaging? No, ravishing Bella. Eeew – I’m banning me from comments.

        • TeamSeth

          The only thing he does do: kill dudes with dreads.

        • Anonymous

          I didn’t even bother reading the comments. I just clicked off the drawing as soon as I could. I think Jacob was trying to resuscitate Bella.

    • Moon

      we need some fireplace/bearskin rug fanart in our lives! PLEASE EMAIL!

  • nocoolname

    Fan art = MESSED UP.

  • MariaCecilia

    I wish I COULD go to Sundance: the only movie festival I get to go to is local, for short films only. No chance of a KStew or Rob appearance, unless they cut up BD into 123 different installments. :-) Love how you help us get along without any Real News: yours are the best anyway, and who needs the Real World?
    I watched Welcome to the Rileys yesterday and now I am really longing to see Kristin do a costume period movie or something completely different, so that I can find out whether she can act well or has just been type-cast in roles that really fit her looks and body language??!! Couldn’t help seeing some broken FF-Bella superimposed on her lip-biting, cold sore Mallory with the colt legs, Under the Apple Tree springs to mind..

    • Anonymous

      Kristin seems to choose movie roles that “speak” to her, so I agree, everything she has done seems like we’re just seeing her own personality/looks/gestures on screen. And I think she does it well, and maybe that’s a talent, and you’re right, if she ever chooses something different it will be interesting to see if she has the chops. I’m reserving judgment.

    • TeamSeth

      unless they cut up BD into 123 different installments.

      Let’s hope they don’t. That would mean 41 segments of perimeter running.

      • nocoolname

        hahahahaha!!

        • nocoolname

          Hey, what happened to my cool avatar?? Have to look into that…

          • TeamSeth

            they go in and out (twss), it’ll come back on its own, I wouldn’t worry about it :)

      • Anonymous

        Ooooh, don’t tease me!

    • TeamSeth

      “who needs the Real World?”

      Exactly. I was waiting for Obama to say something last night like “We need to teach our kids that who wins the science fair is more important than who wins the Volturi/Cullen standoff.” and see Boehner in the background whispering to Biden “I can’t believe he didn’t say *spoiler alert*”. He did, after all, throw in that line about how we think “back to December”, when the parties worked together “to turn around and make it alright” (regarding the tax cuts bill). I mean, Barack berated Kayne for his anti-Swift actions, quite obviously he likes Twilight.

      (also, how cute was it when he mentioned that lady from NC or VA or wherever that went back to school at age 50 for her IT degree and they cut to a shot of her in the audience as she turned to the person next to her and said, “That’s me!” I was like, OMG I love you, lady! and wanted to hug her a lot for keeping it real at the State of the Union.)

    • TeamSeth

      “who needs the Real World?”

      Exactly. I was waiting for Obama to say something last night like “We need to teach our kids that who wins the science fair is more important than who wins the Volturi/Cullen standoff.” and see Boehner in the background whispering to Biden “I can’t believe he didn’t say *spoiler alert*”. He did, after all, throw in that line about how we think “back to December”, when the parties worked together “to turn around and make it alright” (regarding the tax cuts bill). I mean, Barack berated Kayne for his anti-Swift actions, quite obviously he likes Twilight.

      (also, how cute was it when he mentioned that lady from NC or VA or wherever that went back to school at age 50 for her IT degree and they cut to a shot of her in the audience as she turned to the person next to her and said, “That’s me!” I was like, OMG I love you, lady! and wanted to hug her a lot for keeping it real at the State of the Union.)

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Obama is truly a Twi-fanboy. In his first State of the Union (last year), he made several “deficit of trust” references. Totally stealing speech lines from the Bella/Edward playbook. :)

      • http://twitter.com/tracitalynne Traci Olsen

        Obama as FanBoy is love. And that lady was awesome. “That’s me!” ha haha!

        Maybe the GOP needs to imprint on…wait. that analogy isn’t working. Damn.

  • JodieO

    You silly goose. Jackson doesn’t carry around his own hats. He gets a TwiMom with a home-crafted 100 Monkeys tote bag to lug them all for him. And make sandwiches for the band.

    • nocoolname

      I want to make sandwiches for the band and I’ve never even heard one second of their music. I just like making sandwiches.

      Cold enough for you, Jodie?

      • JodieO

        I’d be happy to help Jackson make a sandwich…

        No, I’d prefer it a little colder so that my nostril hairs freeze enough to fall off. Right now it’s just cold enough to make my nostrils freeze together…

        • TeamSeth

          Salami and spicy mustard on a bed of lettuce?

          • JodieO

            Something like that..

    • Moon

      ill happily make them sandwiches if they dont make me listen to the music….

      ok who am i kidding. id listen and make a sandwich if jacky asked. THAT SMILE. ugh.

      • JodieO

        It’s true. No matter what 1994 Johnny Depp reject clothes he’s wearing, no matter if he’s got the catfish goatee, that smile is still a panty melter.

  • TeamSeth

    I <3 Bewley. He's such a gem himself. Though I wish we had more Cuddley, you know? Wearing his trendy Australian designer shirts and wishing his feet were small enough to fit into TOMs. There, there, Dan, I still think you're great, even if you can only buy shoes especially made for you… I mean, hey, you know what they say about big feet!

    As for this Baton Rouge thing, I think we should just call it Baton Ruse. Obviously they're not actually shooting there and the whole thing was invented to keep the fans out of Vancouver. That's fine, it's a 5 hour drive plus wait time at customs anyway, and I'm running out of vacation time that I need to save up for my wedding. Oh, and I'm normal, so I wouldn't be going anyway to stalk Cudmore who may actually live in LA now anyway. I miss the good old days when they shot in Portland. I want my bus route to be blocked off so they can get that shot of the school instead of paying the CGI guy out the ass to recreate a red brick school (which we have like 30 of, btw). Okay, ending my semi-rant now… I woke up on the serious wrong side of the bed and my coffee isn’t working.

    • Moon

      i think it’s just a big lie. they’re laying around hotel rooms, sleeping in, laughing at us online. filming?! what filming?

      • TeamSeth

        Kristen: They still talking about this filming crap on LTT?
        Taylor: (laughs) Yeah. But lots of Olive Garden talk too, makes me miss my dad.
        Kristen: Aw, don’t worry, we’ll be able to tell him about our secret love affair that led you to realizing your sexuality soon enough.
        Taylor: Yeah, the whole Disney Channel kid excuse only works so long.
        Kristen: Yes, but it’s effective… just like this Baton Ruse.
        Rob: Works every time!
        Kristen: You’re not America. You wouldn’t understand.
        Rob: (pout)
        Taylor: We’re not falling for it again.
        Rob: Fine. I’ll go call Tom. He’s faking American accents too! (mutters) Assholes.
        Taylor: LANGUAGE!
        Kristen: You got any more meat patties? I’m famished.

        Okay. I need to stop drinking caffeine because this is becoming really fun to do.

        • drsaka

          Keep going!

          • TeamSeth

            I would…. no no! Don’t encourage me! Luckily it’s time for me to go commute home and I have a phone of below average intelligence, so I can’t get online with it.

  • http://twitter.com/tracitalynne Traci Olsen

    1. I would like to dance all handsy with JR, side mouth talking or no. I would make him call me “ma’am” and it would be epic.

    2. Don’t mock the fivehead. Sometimes a girl’s massive head has to breathe and bangs are hard. (says the girl who finally re-grew bangs because ohholyshitsrsly my forehead is huge

    3. Only watched 30 seconds of the fanart before my head got all swirly and I had to lie down for a bit. WhyWouldYouSpendTimeOnThat? A LOT of time? Jebus .

    • nocoolname

      I declare you officially funny.

  • Anonymous

    I can never un-see that fan art. Never.

    Out of all of the eff’d up fan art I’ve seen, I want to say that one is the most disturbing to me. I mean geez, Edward doesn’t turn away from Bella to gaze lovingly at the demon child while she foes. And Jacob doesn’t just sit there and look longingly at Bella’s torn, bloody body as she stops breathing and her heart halts. -tisk- It’s just all wrong.

    • Anonymous

      That’s what I noticed, too, beyond the horrendous-ness of it. The actions/emotions are all wrong.

  • Goldberrybecca

    Yay for the return of Twi Jasper hair!! Yay that the side talking has subsided!!! And, can I please have a little bit of 100 Monkey love?? It looks nice. And when were they in Dallas???? I live in Dallas(actually just really near by… Arlington.)!!!! I might have gone to see them. Maybe.
    I need to start now and get a head count… any other LTT Texans out there. (Besides Jackson. He totally reads, duh.) We only have a few more days to plan our BD par-tay!

    • Anonymous

      Arlington, as in Arlington County, Bruce Springsteen? Please say yes.

      • Anonymous

        Just realised you’re a ‘D’ short of 2nd hand Bruce fame, my memory seems to have been messed up today by fan art.

        • Goldberrybecca

          that would be cool…. but nope. Arlington, as in the Superbowl will be here in 10 days. *not excited.

      • Anonymous

        Nope. Bruce hails from New Jersey, whilst Goldberrybecca is from Arlington – a suburb of Dallas, TX.

        • Goldberrybecca

          yep. We need some sort of spread sheet to keep up with who/where we all are!

          • Anonymous

            haha! Agreed

    • Moon

      i would totally go if i lived in texas

      • Goldberrybecca

        yeah, I would have gone… I didn’t know they were opening for CAKE two weeks ago until it was too late…. my friend texted me while at the concert. :-(

  • Goldberrybecca

    Yay for the return of Twi Jasper hair!! Yay that the side talking has subsided!!! And, can I please have a little bit of 100 Monkey love?? It looks nice. And when were they in Dallas???? I live in Dallas(actually just really near by… Arlington.)!!!! I might have gone to see them. Maybe.
    I need to start now and get a head count… any other LTT Texans out there. (Besides Jackson. He totally reads, duh.) We only have a few more days to plan our BD par-tay!

  • Anonymous

    Wow…that fan art looks like she just had the worst period cycle in existence.
    And that is why I don’t even THINK about drawing fan art, because I have a feeling that it would turn out as epically creeptastic as that.
    Also the fact that I can only draw stick figures. Sparkly stick figures…etsy here I come!

    • TeamSeth

      I’ve determined to spend the rest of my work day creating an I LOVE CHARLIES fan art in MS Paint.

      • TeamSeth

        As promised. Only took me 30 minutes!!! (yeah, you try doing anything in Paint. I’m not the Ally chick from Hyperbole and a half you know!)

        • drsaka

          excellent effort!

          • TeamSeth

            btw, hyperbole and a half blog entry is on a wolf pack! lol

          • TeamSeth

            And don’t tell those overpaid CGI people, but I think she’s much better at drawing wolves…

          • Anonymous

            Seriously? I love the post about their move.

          • Team Seth

            Yes! Their “simple” dog is sooo funny.

        • natteringyeahrobber

          Super realistic. I like the hair poking out of his shirt and bit of gray in the mustache, as well as the concerned look. Missing the can of cheap beer, but that would probably take another 10 minutes in MS Paint. And I can almost smell the fish fry on that plaid shirt. Yum.

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            Agree on all points. The scratch and sniff fish fry seemed to come to life.

          • TeamSeth

            Don’t worry, the Vitamin R is just out of frame. Maybe I will make this my new avi…

        • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

          And the south park-esque version of Twilight is born.

          • TeamSeth

            Mmkay, you still have that pepper spray, mmkay?

        • Anonymous

          I like the bags under his eyes. He is a world-weary soul.

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            I just had this image of weary Charlie looking at himself in the mirror after pulling a double shift. . . should I shave the mustache . . . looks at his own profile from side to side . . . yes, no, ugghhh . . . the chicks dig it, so I’ll keep the stach. That “I always am” smile takes over his face (making those bags under his eyes retreat for a bit) as he semi weary struts away.

            Okay, I’m old and we all want options. No offense Aro.

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Thanks a lot, now I have the image of tight-towel-wrapped Charlie before a steamed up bathroom mirror, putting his index finger over his lip to see what he might look like without the copstache. La tua cantante.

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            OMG!!! I would like you to know my Charlie was fully clothed. He was going for that man in uniform look. Why does he always seem like a step away from rumpled even when he’s not? Must be the Billy Burke influence shining through.

            And I never considered myself so old – it’s all relative, relative to the age or I should say age difference of the ones you are drooling over. Charlie/Billy Burke does not make me feel old. Then I glimpse the “world-weary soul” and realize, Crap, I am old especially compared to all these youngins.

          • TeamSeth

            Who said anything about a towel?

          • natteringyeahrobber

            OK fine, not a towel, a short black robe (gift from one of his ex-cobbler girls), with dryer lint all over it (since Bella owns so much flannel). Better? More world weary in a linty black robe?

          • Team Seth

            Er, I was actually going for naked, but… you do what you gotta do to be comfortable with your thoughts.

          • Anonymous

            With Charlie, I much prefer my thoughts to be uncomfortable. Disgraceful even. On that note, he’s now wearing a clingy lint-laden purple satin number, which is the only thing he could find in his closet. And I’m there with a lint roller.

          • Anonymous

            That description conjured up images of Charlie in a woman’s chemise for some reason. No wonder he never noticed that Edward was in Bella’s room at night, he was too busy putting on his female persona “Charla”.

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            If we all worked together at the same place, I would remember all this and whoever I got for Secret Santa would get a home made color form Charlie doll. All the above mentionables and unmentionables would be included with little white fold over tabs as well as mini lint brush and other accessories. And “Charla” would get his/her own pink feather boa though it might be stolen from one of the naughty ex-cobbler girls. (There might be a reason he never introduces them to Bella.)

            “you do what you gotta do to be comfortable with your thoughts.” TeamSeth, you KILLED me by the way with that one. And I was cracking up when I saw the new avatar.

          • TeamSeth

            I would really like one of those dolls more than a Grow-In-Water-Renesmee Fetus. And who said all his ex-cobblerers are girls? Maybe he’s not quite the ‘ladies’ man after all, ifyaknowwhati’msayin’

          • TeamSeth

            Oh whatever! Purple’s so cool, it’s genderless.

          • Anonymous

            With Charlie, I much prefer my thoughts to be uncomfortable. Disgraceful even. On that note, he’s now wearing a clingy lint-laden purple satin number, which is the only thing he could find in his closet. And I’m there with a lint roller.

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Thanks a lot, now I have the image of tight-towel-wrapped Charlie before a steamed up bathroom mirror, putting his index finger over his lip to see what he might look like without the copstache. La tua cantante.

        • Anonymous

          That. Is. Epic.
          His hair reminds me of whole wheat spaghetti. :)

  • Twi-Mom(not like on O)

    So glad Twi Jasper hair is back!!

    Um the fan “ART” needs a warning please. If I had not already had my only child, there would be no chance in HALE of having one after seeing that!! I don’t care that my DH is no Edward.

    A bit of topic: Totally excited got 1st season of True Blood on DVD from Netflix today and Vampire Diaries is back tomorrow. Good week for the Supes!

    • TeamSeth

      GREAT week for the Supes! I’m soooooo super excited. I still have 2 episodes of VampDi on my DVR– three episode marathon thursday!! :D Squee! Ahem. Calming down. Oh Ethan, how I love thee like Ethan from Lost… in that babyface and 6th grade bowl haircut but super creepy and murder in a second kind of way….

    • TeamSeth

      GREAT week for the Supes! I’m soooooo super excited. I still have 2 episodes of VampDi on my DVR– three episode marathon thursday!! :D Squee! Ahem. Calming down. Oh Ethan, how I love thee like Ethan from Lost… in that babyface and 6th grade bowl haircut but super creepy and murder in a second kind of way….

    • Anonymous

      That was my first thought. I plan on having kids (one or two) within the next couple of years. But that drawing is effectively making me reconsider. By the way, they should totally hang that picture up during sex ed at middle schools/high schools. If that won’t discourage kids from having (unprotected) sex I dunno what would…

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Good news: birth isn’t usually that messy. I mean, the nurses usually change out linens every 10 minutes or so (there’s never blood on the floor!) and delivery-by-4 inch knife-sharp teeth is not usually covered by insurance (and thus frowned upon by the medical community). Check with your HMO to be certain, though.
        Bad news: there’s always a Rosalie nurse who cares more about the demon child than you and there’s always some guy suggesting you throw the baby out the window after she/he/it is born. Health care in the U.S. and all. Gotta roll with the punches when you are under Blue Cross.

        • TeamSeth

          What a winning commendation for them ;) I hope they put this up on their website under “What Our Customers Are Saying”. With the accompanying fan art as the graphic, how can you not put that up?

        • Anonymous

          Thanks for making me feel a bit better :)

          P.S. I will need your support again after the release of Breaking Dawn otherwise I may never have kids.

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Ah True Blood. My lover and nemesis both. Find a good bulging vein for it, you’ll need to feed the need until you run out of discs. :)

  • TeamSeth

    Am I the only one annoyed that the fan art doesn’t have Rosalie in it?! I mean, really, she’s the baby snatcher! After Renameme was all “Nom nom, mom!” the triage trio was all “ZOMG ROSALIE!!! DEMON AWAY!!!” This is such a poor representation of the true chaos of the scene. Hadn’t Jake had already pawed off in a flurry of pissy disgustedness after Edward gave him a talking to? Plus isn’t the window supposed to be behind the bed, which isn’t a bed, but a table? Hrmph.

    I really encourage everyone (myself primarily) to reread the heartwarming birthing scene so we can more adequately break down nasty fan art.

    Speaking of brain bleach, did it bother anyone else that the gang didn’t save one little baggy of Bella’s blood just so she could smell herself and then Edward could FINALLY drink it (like playing just the tip)? And they call themselves Cullens! I mean, she got hints of it from underneath the bleach they used in the room, but that’ll never quite satisfy. Also, did anyone else wonder how the vampire skinned placenta made its way out of the womb? I mean, we assume Edward Scissor Teeth yanked it out w/ the baby, but….Yowza! That’ll leave a mark!

    All of that said, did she use water colors to make this? That’s pretty impressive.

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Against my better judgment, I “reread the heartwarming birthing scene.” I read it at work – my justification was that I was getting paid to re-read it. Only because I’m at work, I don’t have access to the double shot of whiskey I really need right now. Anyhow. “Edward had snatched the warm, bloody thing out of her limp arms” – so basically, the fanart is somewhat accurate. Edward is seen to the side, cuddling recently snatched up baby. And later, Jacob “watched only Bella as her eyes rolled back into her head”. Again, gotta say, that Jacob is doing just that, looking at corpsey-Bella. But Rosalie should be there, agreed. Maybe she’s off in a quiet dark closet, greedily eating the placenta. And what’s up with the diapers on the table? Do vampire babies have meconium? I so do not want to change that diaper.

      • TeamSeth

        She’s half human! She’s gonna take a big dump of eggs later that day!

        Um…”greedily eating the placenta”. Yeah, scotch run, right now. What can I get you while I’m there?

        Thanks for rereading–glad you got paid (everyone making the films gets paid, let’s remember that.) Where is the window? I think it’s better explained in the scene where she “wakes up” as a vampira.

        Hearing that he snatched it (hehe) makes me feel better about this fan art. Anastasia really encompassed that feeling. And she nailed the Jacob thing. Guess he came back into the room (or didn’t leave). (as mentioned, I need to reread desperately).

        Whew. I had so much caffeine today! My comments are super frantic. Sorry about that.

      • drsaka

        good point about the diaper

        • TeamSeth

          I thought those were just towels.

          • TeamSeth

            On the chest of drawers, right?

          • drsaka

            Could be just towels (funnier as diapers though), but i do like the point about changing the diaper of the vamp/human baby- blech!

          • TeamSeth

            Is it dysentery, Crohn’s, or just her drinking blood? I feel like this could be an episode on Off the Map.

          • Goldberrybecca

            talk about Bloody stool!

  • Anonymous

    HOLY CRAZY BAD Fan Art! GAHHH!!

    • Moon

      would you say you…. HATE it????

  • drsaka

    I had to comment about the fan art-
    The Birth of Bella- isn’t it the Birth of Renamemee?
    Jacob has the stubbiest legs ever there.
    Why is there blood on Jacob’s mouth? Did he bite the umbilical cord?
    Why are there scissors on the table? If a vampire had to tear the baby out with his teeth, would scissors even cut the umbilical cord?
    Has Edward ever worn a belt?????

    • TeamSeth

      I thought the scissors were actually the tool you use to hold the skin apart… clamps but not clamps. (Not a surgeon/doctor/nurse related anything over here) A spreader! Anyway… cuz they have the rounded tips.

      If it’s the birth of bella, then we have some serious other issues. Like where’s charlie? And why is Edward pretending later that he doesn’t know Bella already (how VampDi), and why isn’t jake unborn? You know, those questions.

      I think also that the artist is Team Taylor because she made him shirtless and most like TayTay and Edward is sort of not looking like Rob at all. Plus Edward’s all “This is my demon spawn! Two for me, none for you!” stance. Don’t interrupt, RUDE.

      • drsaka

        But where are Jacob’s legs?
        What about the blood on his mouth????
        These are really important questions!!!

        • drsaka

          Also, why is Jacob gazing at Bella- didn’t he just imprint on Renamemee?

          I guess I just don’t understand. :((((((

          • TeamSeth

            natteringyeahrobber’s reread yielded this answer: jacob watched only bella as she died. (um, well, you get it)

          • Anonymous

            Reading your comment it hit me that you have actually spelt Demon spawn’s name correctly : Re-name-mee, second names: Now Biotch.

          • drsaka

            That wasn’t coined by me- I don’t know who first came up with it- but its GOOD and the second name you propose is good as well.

          • TeamSeth

            Like they’re dutch but instead of “Van” it’s “Now” I like it!

          • Team Seth

            I just reread this comment (a day later) and realized what you actually said. “Also, why is Jacob gazing at Bella- didn’t he just imprint on Renamemee?”

            Because he doesn’t imprint until later when Rosalie is holding her on the couch and he’s thinking about killing her right there and then (renameme, not rose) and the she climbs up on the couch and he sees her eyes for the first time and it’s as if gravity gave out and he were floating in the air–the only thing holding him to Earth was her.

          • Anonymous

            That was positively Tweed Serious. Nicely done. ;)

          • TeamSeth

            Just keepin’ it real.

        • TeamSeth

          They truly are! I had to go revisit the fan art just to review these points.

          To address Jacob’s legs, I’d like to express three possibilities:
          1) He’s kneeling (he’s supposed to be like 6’11” or something, right?
          2) The artist is going for a warped perspective to create a feeling a confused reality so the viewer can appreciate the state of Bella’s life/mind. I mean, check out that dresser with the massive flower bouquet.
          3) There’s a GIANT step down exactly behind the bed there that we cannot see.

          As for his mouth, clearly at some point he was going to vomit and so he covered his mouth with his bloody arm. I mean, what else would you do in that situation? I’d vomit.

          I also want to point out the attention to detail: There’s clearly a crescent moon bite mark from Renesmee on Bella’s chest/bosom. Now that’s someone who did their reading!

          • drsaka

            I saw the bite mark- BAD Renamemee!

          • drsaka

            Now I get it- with the huge flower arrangement and the warped perspecitve (I still say Jacob looks stumpy) style- its like a Van Gogh!!!!

          • TeamSeth

            Interesting. I always viewed it more like an Edvard Munch. (how epic was that image find!)

          • drsaka

            Epic cubed!!!!

        • Anonymous

          In a moment of weakness, while everyone was preoccupied with Nessie, he wondered what all the fuss was about and had a taste of Bells?
          Or maybe he kissed/nuzzled/licked(!?) her while she was still human? Ew.

          • drsaka

            ewwww is right

          • TeamSeth

            Oh no. This led me to the line in Cruel Intentions, “No, I don’t want to kiss you there. I want to kiss you down there.”

            AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Anonymous

            Lolz. I meant her blood. All that time around the Cullens, he had a vamp-curious moment so he tasted her blood. Yeah.

      • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

        The scissor thing was looking more like a shoe horn to me . . . and why did I go back for a second look, I HAVE NO IDEA.

        It also looked like they went a little too heavy on the spray tan for the baby but she probably just wanted to impress the wolf pack.

        • TeamSeth

          Toddlers and Tiaras starting early…

      • http://twitter.com/tracitalynne Traci Olsen

        ***snortlaugh*** “Edward’s all “This is my demon spawn! Two for me, none for you!” stance. Don’t interrupt, RUDE. ”

        I will die a happy person if they can put this in like, a blooper reel or something. Someone call Stephenie.

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Didn’t Jacob do CPR? He tasted blood, so I guess that explains the blood all over his mouth. I would assume Renesmee probably bit off her own umbilical cord, she’s such an animal. Please, don’t make me read it again to confirm. The scissors have no explanation. Probably another last minute drama prop for Jacob: “i’d cut my heart out for you, bella!”

      • drsaka

        Just for fun, I’m going to pretend that as a werewolf- he could bite the umbilical cord.
        (you might be right about the CPR).

        In the movies, has Edward ever worn a belt, especially a white belt? Is it before Labor Day (omg- that was a terrible pun- sorry).

        • TeamSeth

          BEST PUN EVER! Way to lighten up this dark dark fan art discussion ;)

          Yeah, he should’ve been a wolf so he could help out (and finish off rose)

          • drsaka

            I think that’s truly the worst pun I’ve ever made- and I’ve made quite a few.

      • TeamSeth

        “i’d cut my heart out for you, bella!”

        “DO IT! I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU”

        • drsaka

          Excellent combination of Twi and A Christmas Story- can we do a version of A Christmas Story with vampires and werewolves?????

          • TeamSeth

            I think it’s a fail in the making because wolves would melt the ice on the pole and vamps would be just as cold as it.

          • drsaka

            Ahhh, maybe then something about Ralphie wanting a Red Rider (Ryder??) BB gun to shot those ‘like huge wolves’ to protect his family and then somehow getting turned into a vampire- this needs work, but it could be a whole new ff genre!

          • drsaka

            that’s ‘shoot’-

            Like “Pride and prejudice and zombies”- classic stories with vampires and werewolves?????

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            “BB gun to shoot those ‘like huge wolves'” and it echoed in my head THEY’RE NOT BEARS

          • drsaka

            that’s what I was going for :))))))

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            Awwww, LTT, the place I can go where people understand the sound track going on in my head.

          • TeamSeth

            I’d ask for a Russet Rider … ;)

    • Moon

      clearly this is mens warehouse/new moon edward. MW-edward loves a good belt

      • TeamSeth

        No way! That belt is so much a really light gray cloth belt popular back in junior year of HS. He’s just keepin’ up the “I’m 17 for awhile” image.

      • drsaka

        I see- that explains it

        • drsaka

          However, there was no belt with the Tweed Serious suit that may have come from Men’s Warehouse. Confusing!

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            Fashion usually is . . .

          • TeamSeth

            It’s time! It’s time!

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            Oh Alice, the queen of fashion herself. . . . so how shall I knot this scarf? I know. I’ll knot it two different ways and see if anyone notices. I have to stop now, I am way past my quota on rambling.

          • TeamSeth

            Tut tut. Never stop. Never surrender.

    • Anonymous

      Birth of Bella because it’s sort of her re-birth as a vamp? I mean this was the gross messy part of it. After she heals and get’s cleaned up, everyone can coo over her new-born self.

      • TeamSeth

        And that sexy times dress Alice puts her in. What’s with Alice trying to get Bella laid all the time–does she think she’ll scowl less once she’s been pumped with semen? Oh yeah, that’s probably exactly what she thinks. “Actually you’ll have the house to yourself.” Scowl. “You’re WELCOME!” (thinking: she’s as rude as rosalie–as if that were even possible)

        • drsaka

          Maybe Alice is trying out a new career- stylist/pimp??

      • drsaka

        maybe! and we’re just ignoring the new born Renamemee

    • Anonymous

      Y’all have way stronger stomachs than I do, I couldn’t look at it nearly long enough to come up with all those observations. Your comments almost tempted me to go back and look again, but I thought better of it.

      • drsaka

        Just having some fun!

      • TeamSeth

        I like to take an anthropological approach… and have my vomit bucket nearby. (my stomach can only take so much Macallan’s you know)

        • drsaka

          so your effort is really for research- noble!

    • Anonymous

      I got here late, so I’m just jumping in.
      Did anyone read the comments following the fnart? One of my favs:

      “Well done. I especially like the way you depict Edward holding the baby and Bella putting her hand out to see her. Very nice!”

      • natteringyeahrobber

        I can’t get over all the “poor Jacob” comments. Bella has been ripped and gored from the inside and has spattered like 20 jugs of her life blood all over 12 square feet of room. And Edward has seriously besmirched his tweed pants (thank god the white fabric belt was spared – not sure any cleaner in could handle that job). Yet all these fawning fans can think about is how Jacob is faring in this situation? He’s half naked, cleanup will be a cinch. And he got a future girlfriend out of this mess. Poor Jacob, hmmmph.

        • Anonymous

          It sounds like you’re onto something here. Fnart Fans = Team Jacob

        • TeamSeth

          Yeah, but he’s not IMMORTAL! Sheesh. Plus there’s an extra 10 feet for that drop down in the floor where he’s standing…maybe that’s where the blood all drained to? That must be why they feel so bad for him… he’s been wading in Bella blood and guts for the past hour, all because the girl wouldn’t let him pick up her stupid sippy cup. And she calls herself a Cullen!

      • natteringyeahrobber

        I can’t get over all the “poor Jacob” comments. Bella has been ripped and gored from the inside and has spattered like 20 jugs of her life blood all over 12 square feet of room. And Edward has seriously besmirched his tweed pants (thank god the white fabric belt was spared – not sure any cleaner in could handle that job). Yet all these fawning fans can think about is how Jacob is faring in this situation? He’s half naked, cleanup will be a cinch. And he got a future girlfriend out of this mess. Poor Jacob, hmmmph.

      • natteringyeahrobber

        I can’t get over all the “poor Jacob” comments. Bella has been ripped and gored from the inside and has spattered like 20 jugs of her life blood all over 12 square feet of room. And Edward has seriously besmirched his tweed pants (thank god the white fabric belt was spared – not sure any cleaner in could handle that job). Yet all these fawning fans can think about is how Jacob is faring in this situation? He’s half naked, cleanup will be a cinch. And he got a future girlfriend out of this mess. Poor Jacob, hmmmph.

      • natteringyeahrobber

        I can’t get over all the “poor Jacob” comments. Bella has been ripped and gored from the inside and has spattered like 20 jugs of her life blood all over 12 square feet of room. And Edward has seriously besmirched his tweed pants (thank god the white fabric belt was spared – not sure any cleaner in could handle that job). Yet all these fawning fans can think about is how Jacob is faring in this situation? He’s half naked, cleanup will be a cinch. And he got a future girlfriend out of this mess. Poor Jacob, hmmmph.

      • TeamSeth

        Yeah, I sort of saw it more as “Bella’s dead.” Maybe that was just me though… As if her last ditch effort in life was to clasp onto her child that she fought for and that cost her her life, where Edward was all around against the whole thing until he could “read the baby’s mind.” Oh crap. I just realized this whole thing is SMeyer making a statement on abortion. Hm, maybe I shouldn’t type that. A new can of worms…

        “It’s not a lifestyle choice, Bella. I was born this way.”

  • Anonymous

    Hmm. I might be the only person who does not like Jacksper’s Twilight hair. I remember the first pics I saw of the cast of the movie and I was like “WTF is going on up there?” Didn’t we refer to is as poodle hair or something?
    Even though Eclipse’s wig wasn’t so great either, it’s my fav of the three.

    • Anonymous

      I loved Eclipse hair. Twilight hair looked like he had stuck his finger in a power socket.

      • Anonymous

        Right AFTER he got a perm! Haha!

        • Anonymous

          I bet it was Emmet who tricked him into getting the perm, and Alice wanted to play beauty shop and when he saw the result he was ‘Nooooo, must try to kill self!’

      • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

        I think I still have bruises from the Eclipse bunch buggy/bad wig game in the theater though believe it or not Jasper saved me. I did like his Eclipse hair too and I don’t believe I am influenced by the lack of pain memory factor either on that one.

        • TeamSeth

          Hm… I think you might want to change that game from punching to drinking… Hangovers only last a day (or so).

          Unless you’re trying to pretend to be Bella post consummation of marriage, then punch away!

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            My nephew, the unicorn responsible for getting me hooked on the series, was seeing the movie with me so no alcohol allowed. Though turning it into a drinking game has crossed my mind when the DVD came out.

  • http://sweetinator88.wordpress.com/ sweetinator88

    “it’d be like this grungy…awkward and shy kind of thing,”

    hahaha so right

  • http://sweetinator88.wordpress.com/ sweetinator88

    “it’d be like this grungy…awkward and shy kind of thing,”

    hahaha so right

    • yertlesmom

      OMG – this line is so perfect. I was so shocked by the fan art I totally forgot it. HAHAHAHAHAH

    • Moon

      that was like the best thing i read yesterday! ph charley

      • TeamSeth

        Okay, am I epic fangirl fan fail or is there an inside joke I missed… I always thought his name was spelled Charlie?

      • http://sweetinator88.wordpress.com/ sweetinator88

        its just the most accurate description anyone could have made, so simple, but so genius!

  • yertlesmom

    Major fan art fail! I actually shouted out loud NO when I saw it. Okay, artist–I read the books (four times even). I KNOW what happens but I did NOT need to see this visual!!!

  • Anonymous

    Disqus hates me. Is it run by Summit? Or is someone handing out free copies of Heart of Darkness.

    PS Thanks everyone for warning on fan art.

  • Anonymous

    Disqus hates me. Is it run by Summit? Or is someone handing out free copies of Heart of Darkness.

    PS Thanks everyone for warning on fan art.

  • Anonymous

    *sigh*

  • Moon

    id just like to point out how much i love that we have a whole SUB category for jackson rathbone that is “jackson rathbone’s hair” because clearly, we need it! no other actor or character has their own sub category besides SMeyer! awwww jacky is special!

    • TeamSeth

      I’d say he might even be a super fan.

      • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

        She says as she turns and walks away as he longingly looks on.

        • TeamSeth

          She hails the first cab to drive by and pauses only a moment to peer back at his eyes, which are fade to blacking her, before sliding into the backseat. He whispers to himself, “The one that got away.”

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            In his mind he keeps asking himself why oh why as the girl in the dress cries all the way home OPPPS, sorry, that was TSwizzle. . . and then the reason why dawns on him (no pun intended, honest) . . . maybe it was my hair. My hair, could it be my misunderstood hair? And he thinks once again, oh why didn’t I take head of all those LTT posts.

          • TeamSeth

            I have to break character here to state that after reading this, all I could think of was Steve Jones showing up as the knight in shining armor (aka on his yacht wearing sexy fitting designer jeans and no shirt). But then I just wanted that to happen to me…

          • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

            The image was good until some ex-cobbler chic’s panty hit him in the face and hooked on his ear. Hate when that happens.

          • TeamSeth

            Oh, you’re such a spoiler sport! Luckily I got to watch Damon tonight in his emotional splendor. Can we just say he’s so much sexier when he’s ripping off Nina Dobrev’s shirt…

    • Anonymous

      Moon, I love that you commented a lot today!!

      • Moon

        :) it’s amazing what a slow afternoon will do for you

  • JodieO

    BTW, where are all the people sticking up for Elizabeth Reaser? Someone out there must like her enough to call you fat smelly haters for making fun of her sixhead.

    • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

      I have the same forehead thing going on, so I’m trying not to draw attention to myself on that one, coward that I am.

      • JodieO

        Haha! But do you style your hair in a way that makes your forehead look even bigger?

        • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

          Style? I am as low maintenance as you can get. I am a totally late bloomer in all things girly and constantly put off getting my haircut.

          I do have an annoying habit of doing the no fail pull back pony tail thing which does not do a forehead good.

    • TeamSeth

      I’m just wondering what she’s wearing. I thought you’re supposed to dress up for these things? And something about her in this picture makes her look a lot like her role as smoosh face in Grey’s Anatomy. Oops, that didn’t help her cause did it. Hangs head in shame.

      • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

        It use to be called mountain casual though I think they have hollywood glammed it up and are calling it fireside chic. I actually like her being so down to earth but she looks kinda afraid of the camera in some of the shots.

        • TeamSeth

          Mountain casual? I like that better. Fireside Chic sounds like something in a sorority where you tell really emotional stories and everyone cries while you’re wearing tea length dresses and sitting like Belle does when she’s reading to Beast in that one song sequence “Perhaps there’s something there that wasn’t there before.” (“what mama? I don’t see anything!” “Oh, Chip, I’ll tell you when you’re older dear.”)

  • Team Seth

    My new avatar is making me laugh every time I see it! It’s my new Brendan Fraizer clap! hehehehehe

    • MyNieceIsAFanRIGHT

      I was totally cracking up when I came back on and saw it changed. Though the two old geasers from the muppets were my favorite from the show.

      • TeamSeth

        I always loved Rolf in the Dr Bob sketches and during his candelabra piano renditions.

        • Team Seth

          Oh no! My link to Rowlf playing Clair de Lune got cut! :'(

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