Only Taylor Should’ve Played Jacob: Guess the wolf’s outta the bag

One thing I love about LTT-friend Team Seth is that she doesn’t “get” Rob Pattinson. She reminds me that the fandom is SO varied and not everyone thinks every single Twilight actor is God’s gift to the us & the world! Today she leads us in an appreciation of Taylor Lautner:

Taylor's got committment

Dear Taylor,

First off, major high five! Second, I know that we here on LTT sometimes, oftentimes, make fun of you for silly things like meat patties and catching grapes while doing back flips, but honestly we’re all behind you. It’s a matter of you being underage when we first got to know you, then you were smoking hot and we all felt dirty, like when your friend’s little brother turns 17 and it’s suddenly like “Wow, where did he come from?” Like Jeremy in Vampire Diaries, except that Bonnie isn’t over 18. Anyway, you can understand that I’m sure. Chris Hansen is creepy, you know. Plus, I know that we tend to talk more about your dad and how much we want to have sit downs with him over bread sticks and unlimited soup and salad lunch, and we don’t really want you there. I know that’s a little rude. But we stood by you through Swiftner! We accepted you after seeing Shark Boy and Lava Girl with our 7 year olds. And on a personal note, I HATE the Red Wings, but I’m willing to accept that you’re a fan due to where you’re from. That’s fine. I get it, really I do. (Go Canucks!)

But, I want to just get down to it and say, you’re the only one of the trilogy who really put your all into the role. And bravo for that! I’m so tired of people defending Rob for his mediocre efforts at becoming Sparta. This is Sparta. But you nailed it! You put in the effort. You ate meat patties and put in the gym time to get an 12-pak washboard ab set. You bulked up. You tried, and you kept it up. You respect C-Dubs’ wishes and followed through. Which is a truly classy and professional thing to do. You wore jorts in British Columbia other than in July heat waves. With rain pouring down on you. You committed. Rob did NOT commit. And I’m done, I am so done with these women who say that he has a Spartacus body in New Moon. He does not. He actually looks totally creepy. Like wtforks is this?

Sure there’s no pot belly, nor does he look like a topless Billy Burke (sorry, Billy, still love you!) But he’s gray and completely lacking pectorals and arm muscles. Seriously, where are his pecs? He looks like a fourteen year old! And I’m not knocking on Rob’s hotness, just his lack of commitment to the role.

No one's gonna argue about THIS

Sure, call him the HHH, ladies. Do what you must. I’ll agree, this is hot, and of course his NM shirtless moment is EONS ahead of this (shudder!). But the role commitment is just not there. Not like you, Taylor. And since there’s an entire site dedicated to letters to Rob and his hobo chic awesomeness (or whatever), I want you to know that you and your efforts are appreciated.

I know you’re not doubting your mad skills given the amount of big girl panties that have been thrown in your face. But honestly, Taylor, I think you’re the only one who nailed it. You ARE Jacob. I can’t imagine anyone but you as Jake… maybe put you on stilts, but other than that…and that’s just a technicality. And you and I both know that I’m not Team Jacob, that I don’t think Jacob and Bella should be together, and that I don’t lust after you in bed at night (that’s reserved for David Tennant and Ian Smolderholder).

"I want to thank Disney... for teaching me to smile & speak like a robot..."

But I respect you. Maybe you’re not “world’s best actor”, but that’s fine. You’re young and Disney channel groomed, and having worked at Disney myself for a few years, I know what that’s about. I get it. I understand your overtly PC and vague responses, your extremely bright smile, and your uncomfortableness with answering questions in a creative way. I totally understand, because I’ve been through that training too. It’s fine. And I don’t care if you come out in a year or so, or if you’re actually straight. I just don’t care, because you nailed it as Jacob. And I really think here on LTT we overlook that.

Not only did you commit physically to the role, you also worked with the ebb and flow of Jacob’s emotions. You made the switch when the wig came off. Jacob transformed from a sweet little Native American boy into a man. A man who wouldn’t accept that Bella didn’t appreciate him or recognize her feelings for him. That she was too caught up in her memory of Mr. Gray Marble Sparklepeen who LEFT HER for no real reason (that he happened to mention at the time) to even take notice of the fact that she was more or less gonna make out with you like 20 different times. Kind of ridiculous, right? Anyway, you as an actor took that energy, that longing to be human again and that werewolf rage, and you made it real. Believable. I applaud you. So, when we discussed who should’ve played Bella, I felt we ought to mention the fact that only YOU should’ve played Jacob.

Just friends

But I’ll close with this, Taylor. If you can pull off the relationship I envisioned between Jake and Nessie when reading the books, which was quite tasteful and sweet, then I think you might deserve a Best Supporting for that, and NOT at the MTV Awards, but at some real awards show. If anyone is trained and ready to field all the underage sexy times interview questions involving the supposed toddler love, it’s you, Taylor. You’ll laugh, look down, then back up with a serious face and say something along the lines of,

“Well, actually Jacob’s just imprinted on her. Imprinting doesn’t mean you have romantic feelings for the person, just that you understand her exact needs. It’s kind of like an intuition. So, if Renesme, say, wants to play My Little Ponies, Jacob will anticipate this need. It’s nothing romantic, it’s like he’s her awesome babysitter who totally gets her. As she grows up and her needs change, he will anticipate this too. So ultimately they will most likely end up together, but that’s in the far future.”

Then interviewer will then ask, “So, Edward might be Jacob’s father-in-law, is that going to be weird given the past between you guys?” and you will say, “No, I mean, isn’t that what every father wants for his daughter–a husband who will treat her exceptionally well and always love her and provide her with what she wants?” I have full faith in you, kid. So, keep on keepin’ on! And just think, your meat patty days are quickly coming to a close!

With high regards,

Team Seth

What do you think? Is Taylor going to do us proud with his portrayal of Jacob? Will Chris Hansen be on stand-by, waiting for his moment to knock on Taylor’s trailer door?

Contest Update: Moon & I haven’t had time to talk ALL WEEKEND LONG so we haven’t picked a winner from last week’s contest yet! We will pick shortly & announce the winner soon! THANKS to everyone who has entered. The entries we’ve read so far are amazing & it’s hard to choose a favorite!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • toooldforthis

    Oh, Team Seth. I repect you, I do. But you insulted Robward. I’m no hockey fan, but because I live just north of Detroit, I’m well aware of the awesomeness and complete dominance of the Red Wings. And because you insulted Rob, this is for you:

    DETROIT IS HOCKEYTOWN! GO REDWINGS! SUCK IT, CANUCKS!!!

    • TeamSeth

      At heart, I’m a Penguins fan, but since they’re not West Coast, I thought I should put the Canucks (whom I also like).

      BUT YOU CAN SUCK IT, RED WINGS!!! (ahem, all in good fun!)

  • natteringyeahrobber

    There I was reading another insightful funny posting by TS (CW would love it, were he ever to read LTT & he should) about Jacob, and then a Rob photo pops up. Every word after “lack of commitment to the role” became blurry and irrelevant. Rob photo….Rob photo…what were you saying? In the future, do not put Rob photos into any discussion of Jacob or Taylor, because I’ll just get lost in thought. Oh, and I think Taylor is Jacob, but Rob…he just IS. Sigh.

    • Anonymous

      I have to agree with nattering…what the heck is your name suppose to mean? Yeah, what she said!

      • TeamSeth

        Yeah, Nat! I’m leaning forward resting my chin on my hands and staring imploringly into your eyes awaiting a response. What the heck IS your name supposed to mean?!

        • natteringyeahrobber

          Derived from “nattering nabob of negativism.” Coined by William Safire, speechwriter for Spiro T. Agnew. I’ve always liked that phrase, and I fell in lust with Rob last year. Combine the two and there you have my lame screen name. Woo-hoo!

      • TeamSeth

        I just realized your avi is First Beach!

  • Nelle

    Team Seth- great job. So much of what you say is true. I still love Rob and KStew but no denying Taylor is perfect as Jacob. He also seems more mature (or at least more articulate) at appearances. Hope he can bring it in BD. But still cannot fathom how they are going to make a nine year old girl look like a newborn to 2 year old. I think the creepy-ness factor will be worse if he’s cavorting with a nine year old rather than a two year old.

    • Stacey

      I heard they are CGIing the little girl’s face on a baby. Is that less creepy? Kind of still creepy to me!

      • TeamSeth

        Totes creepy. The whole thing sounds creepy. But as Victoria said, We shall see.

  • robsfuturemate

    Great letter Team Seth! Despite my obivous love for the Rob, you’re right. Taylor did seem to commit more. And I just want to say that I was sooooo against Jacob in the books. He made me really angery with all this kissing and then following her around after she “chose” (first time read) But Taylor reallly changed that for me on the big screen. I liked the kid and it was Taylor’s protrayal that did it!

    • Anonymous

      Aww man, wrong avi! This is what happens when you don’t sign in!

    • S.kay

      I completely agree! I wasn’t a Jacob fan in the book AT ALL. But after seeing the movies, Taylor sold me on the character!

  • http://twitter.com/thebonfire Nikki

    I hardly ever comment but I just have to say i could not (respectfully) disagree more. The only time Taylor felt like Jacob to me was the first movie. And it’s got nothing to do with the physical changes. I could get past the fact that he doesn’t look like book jacob after the transformation if i found him believable but I just don’t! He just comes across as a meathead to me walking around on the screen posing like an abercrombie model. He does not sound like the jacob in my head at all! Where’s all the warmth? Jacob in the book is funny. He’s got some anger issues but he’s got that sarcastic teenage thing going on that is so different from Edward. Movie jacob hardly has any trace of that. He’s just scowling all the time. I know I’m probably in the minority and I’m prepared for the backlash but he’s the only character I think could’ve been better casted. whew. feels good to get that out. been pent up inside for a long time!

    • nocoolname

      I sort of agree with you, Nikki. Taylor doesn’t really feel like book Jacob to me. Too moody.

      However, I do agree with Team Seth in that he does seem heads above everybody else in terms of committment. It’s nice to have someone in the Great Three who doesn’t seem to be embarrassed/irritated/tired of the role that has cemented him as a star aaaand made him tons of cash.

      • JustGoWithIt

        True! I’ve never heard Taylor complain about the crazy fangirls and being famous. But as Team Seth points out, he doesn’t really say much at all. Rob complains, but to be fair he gets asked about being famous and his personal relationships a lot. He also has truly hilarious interview moments, because he lets himself have some verbal diarrhea.
        Side note: Rob and Kristen. I swear it would have been easier on everybody to just have admitted you are dating from the beginning, and no you’re not going to answer personal questions about your relationship. You can tell Rob doesn’t care as much about the whole keep it a secret thing, he’s always almost letting it slip. I feel for him in that way, like what 25 year old keeps the fact that he has a girlfriend a secret? Painful.

    • JustGoWithIt

      They could have given him some more jokey banter dialogue with Kristen. I think establishing believable love relationships is something almost every movie struggles with, I always find myself having to make a leap of faith that the characters are in love, when they have to establish it in like 15 minutes of screen time together. I understand why they go montage sometimes.

      • Anonymous

        I think B/E *and* B/J (ha ha BJ I just got that!) should have more jokey moments, because that is the mark of true relationships. When you can giggle and have inside jokes together is the mark of Actual Boyfriend/Girlfriend-ness. I know that movies can’t get in depth like books can, but I feel that would have been more entertaining anyway. Plus they are all three much cuter when they smile.

        (damn I sound like my mom. “Why don’t you smile more? you’ve got such a lovely smile. Get your hair out of your eyes and clean your room while you are at it.” Shitfuck.)

        • JustGoWithIt

          Don’t worry, you un-mom-speak-ified yourself by saying Shitfuck.

          • JustGoWithIt

            In front of the kids I sound like Ned Flanders. I say things like Cheese and Crackers! I surprise myself all the time with the hokey swear word alternative that come out of my mouth.

          • Anonymous

            I can’t tell you how many times I have said, “FFFFFfffffffudgsicles!”

          • Anonymous

            or, if I am being truthful, “Motherffffuuuuuudgsicles!”

          • JustGoWithIt

            I usually just say “Mother!” with feeling.

    • Stacey

      I think that is where script issues come up for me. With both the Bella/Jacob and Bella/Edward interactions. They don’t seem relaxed or playful for the most part. The personal story seemed to be overshadowed by the attempt to bring in more action to get that coveted male audience.

      For all of the original Twilight’s issues, I preferred that Edward. He seemed a bit happier. At least he smiled more. Twilight’s Jacob was a cute, smiley kid. I think if the New Moon and Eclipse’s scripts let that Jacob shine, I would like his character more in the films.

      • TeamSeth

        I think we can all agree with this. Even Dexter is more likable.

    • TeamSeth

      I think you should rewatch Twilight and New Moon. Because pre-transformation is loaded with humor and teenage sarcasm.
      (put on your tweed)
      Becoming a wolf means an instant change into full growth–seemingly both physical and mental. Imagine being forced from youth to adulthood, against your will, because vampires were in town threatening your community’s way of life. That’s serious stuff. He has a right to be angry, he’s had something stolen from him that he can never get back. And he’s angry with Bella because he knows that she supports the vampires, loves them even, couldn’t function without them. And that’s what triggers him into action. He needs to save Bella from becoming a vampire, because vampires are the enemy. Vampires are the reason he lost himself. That scene in the car before she sees Carlisle’s car… he says just that. Bella assures him that he’s not [going to lose himself], that she won’t LET that happen.
      In the beginning, Jacob wants to help her through the loss of Edward, even if he can’t understand it. Then he turns [into a wolf], puts his blame on the vampires (rightfully so) and essentially banishes Bella from his life–she can’t help him and he can only hurt her, so she shouldn’t be around him. Then he realizes that he needs her, that she can help him. He approaches her about it (in her bedroom with the infamous frat boy “Hey” ugh. hate that line). Bella puts on her big girl panties and offers to help him however she can, even though she doesn’t really understand it (see the theme?). Finally the wolf’s outta the bag and she “gets it”. She learns more about his situation, and then we arrive at the scene where she realizes that what Jacob needs is her, just as she needed him. That a true friend would give her all to help. Bella is selfless, she can’t resist to urge to help him, even if it means being with him.

      Until Edward calls.

      • TeamSeth

        Wow. I really do like New Moon the best. lol

      • Bubs

        Ah but as SM herself says….it’s in New Moon that Bella actually falls in love with Jacob, she just doesn’t recognise it. Hence her “need” for Jacob in Eclipse.

      • Anonymous

        Damn, could you have put it any better? I hated New Moon the first time I read it, but once I got through the end of BD and read the series again, I could really appreciate Jacob. I love the summary of the situation from Jacob’s point-of-view on SM’s site. It cracks me up. You can’t help but love him

        • TeamSeth

          She has a summary? I’ve not seen it. Hm… new material!!!

    • Bubs

      I blame Melissa Rosenberg’s script, [definitely not Taylor] you can only work with what you’re given. It drives me nuts when she doesn’t keep to the book. Don’t get me started on what she left out of Eclipse…all those wonderful quotes. Bill Condon I hope you’re paying attention!!!

  • Anonymous

    This has nothing to do with the post, though I agree with everything said – love Taylor so on and so forth…

    I am the only that sees “BD” and instantly reads “Bed”? Knowing this group doubtful, but jsut wanted to check

  • AmynKansas

    Why did you have to point out the lack of pecs?! My eyes never went past his wonky nips!!
    I hope MY “meat patty” days continue for a long LONG time. And by Meat Patty, I mean Rob Patty.
    Ok, that doesn’t make any sense but there are few times in life where you get the opportunity to type Meat Patty and Rob Patty in the same sentence and I just couln’t resisit.

    • Ish

      Thank you sooooooo much for that. just had horrid afternoon with teenage eldest and you just brightened up my day. Rob patty I want that on a shirt!

  • Anonymous

    How much of this made me *snortlaugh*? So Much Of It! Starting with Rob’s “mediocre efforts at becoming Sparta.” (automatic defense, though: 6 months of emo soul crushing makes vampires grey and dark eye circle-y and ashy! and have hot happy trails and OMG hipbones…)

    *shakes it off*

    Stilts…yeah. And I love that “you and I both know” you are not Team Jacob. I love that he would know that.

    “your uncomfortableness with answering questions in a creative way.” got an extra snort.

    And now I will “laugh, look down, then back up with a serious face” and say: those neck muscles better emote the shit out of the Not Pedophileness of macking on a 9 year old. Maybe TL could hire masseuses for the CGI team so they can BRING IT to make that admittedly adorable little girl look like an even more adorable toddler and not at all something horribly creepy. I am pulling for you, buddy. I really am.

    Great letter, TS.

    • TeamSeth

      Thanks, NutSlut! I have to say, that while lindsaylee reads BD as bed, I read Sparta as Santa. Which was creepy.

      • Anonymous
        • Bubs

          Ok, so I don’t get the Rob “thing” either [except I do love his interviews-sooo funny] but then you get a photo like this….and OMG

          • Anonymous

            Yeah, his appeal ranges from the “a-Dork-able” (interviews) to “GUH-dorable” (everything else, pretty much).

          • TeamSeth

            But… But… that’s a photo manip, right? He’s got this weird line on his neck…

          • Ish

            yeah and notice he is covering his deformed left nip

          • Anonymous

            This “photo” is actually a manip!! But I still like it! And it’s not always about the abs, I mean looks. I love his interviews, his funny, his self-deprecation, his musical abilites…okay, I think you get the point!

          • TeamSeth

            PHEW. I thought I was going crazy for a second.

            Sigh. I wish I found self-deprecation hot…but it’s just putting out such negative energy, and there’s already too much of that in this world. It makes me sad when people are self-deprecating.

          • Anonymous

            Well, the humbleness was the first attraction that then kind of turned into self-deprecation. The first one was better, I admit!

          • cosi bella

            Hey Bubs – I think you’re my twilight twin. I feel the same as you – don’t get Rob – no crush from me but think he has an awesome personality and so witty – his interviews and commentaries are almost better than the movies (he should write scripts/sitcoms or somethin when he gets older)

            I too am P*SSED that Taylor is more than likely gay *SULK*
            Although when I see him on screen I find myself rapidly getting over it…

          • Bubs

            Thanks Cosi-I have a “Twi-twin”! [I had to hyphenate that 'cause my other version "Twitwin", looked strange].
            Was it in the MTV interview a couple of weeks back, that Rob said he was writing “something” at present ? We shall see….

            In the meantime…so many people criticise the whole Jacob/”Renameme” plot. I don’t get it – if fans can accept Vampires and Wherewolves, what’s the stretch to understanding imprinting on the “mutant spawn” ? It’s already been explained with Quil n Claire. Plus it gives us more Jacob/Taylor time on screen-yummmm.

            I LOVE it when SM writes from Jacob’s perspective. She really nails his emotions-these are the times in the books that …
            [a]Took my breath away
            [b]Had me in tears
            [c] laughing out loud.

            Could we PLEASE have some more Twi. Stephenie !!!!

          • TeamSeth

            #TWIT WIN!

          • cosi bella

            you had to go there

            :))))))))))))

          • cosi bella

            Oh Yeah – Twin Win again Bubs!

            I too have no probs with Jacob imprinting on Renesme.

            Yeah Bubs – Werewolves and vampires tots believable but imprinting? impossible concept! EXACARY GF!

            Also I guess I was thinking of Betrothal in European Royal families. Happened all the time when Older royalty would be ‘betrothed’ to a child in another royal family. Kind of like an an arranged marriage. Cept in this instance there’s no question of ‘child brides/bridegrooms’ unlike some royal marriages. Imprinting is kind of like a betrothal and no doubt there’s some “bloodline union ” significance to the union of Jacob and Renesmee….

            So Nope – not a biggie for me either.

            ..AND…ME TOO! tots down for any excuse for as much Jacob screen time as possible…..:)))))))))))).

            (hmmm only question is …which one of us is the ‘evil’ one… ;))

          • TeamSeth

            And we will build a new era, where both Werewolf and Vampire alike can live together side-by-side in harmony and peace!

          • cosi bella

            Nice sentiment Teamseth!!

            Actually the Jacob/Renesme bloodline union would mean Werewolf, Vampire AND HUMANS can finally live in harmony.

            I wanna read THAT book. oh but hang on there’s gazillions of fan fiction stories – someone probably already has…right?

          • Bubs

            Which one of us ???? I guess that’s yet to be decided…..although considering we have excellent taste in men [at least one of them-"sigh"], how evil/naughty could we be ???? Maybe, we shouldn’t go there :)))))))) !

          • shannon flynn

            I LOVE ROBERT PATERSON SO SO SO MUCH!!!!! and i wold like to thank kristen,robert,taylor,emmett,rosalie,jane,victoria,james,esme,renesmee,carlisle,alice, jasper,paul,sam,mike,charlie,angela,billy,jared,jessica,eric,embry,laurent and every other cast member for making all of the twilight’s i am really sad that they are over but you have really changed my life and i have found who i really am and i will never give up in believing so dont stop trying and who ever wants to dis this message then do it i dont care im doing this for my twighlight fans so……….. GO TEAM TWILIGHT AND GO TEAM EDELLA!!! p.s edellais the nick name that i made up for edward and bella because i love them both and i dont want anyone tho feel left out thats why i put everyones name on the list!!! so (again) GO TEAM TWIGHLIGHT AND GO TEAM EDELLA!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Anonymous

          Hot, but not so fast. It looks like his head was photoshopped on someone else’s body. The color is off. I do enjoy the picture though.

  • operarose

    Amen, sister-friend Team Seth!

    Finally finally finally after endless Rob/Edward gushing we get a nice, big, strong, letter to JACOB. He truly did put his all into this role. I mean, as you said, from the very beginning he was dedicated. He transformed his physique when he wasn’t even 100% sure he’d get the role again in New Moon. That is some kind of commitment.

    (Rob fans do not read this paragraph. Thanks.) I also find him incredibly convincing with Kristen on screen. No, I am not a delusional Team Jacob person, but he plays the incredible lust and tension that Jacob has towards Bella perfectly with her on screen. In my opinion, much more convincingly than the whole Bella Edward relationship plays out on screen. Rob’s all “whatever, I love you Bella, I want to eat you…snore” but Jacob is all, shaking and strong and intense, “Bella, I KNOW what he did to you and I would NEVER do that to you!” Gush.

    Since our comments have deviated to this, I hate sports, but must put in my 2 cents. Go Redwings, and Lions for that matter. I was raised in Michigan, it’s required that I stay loyal. I hear you on that front, Taylor. Embarrassing (with regards to the Lions) but true.

    • TeamSeth

      (Rob fans, do not read this response, thanks!) “Bella, I KNOW what he did to you and I would NEVER do that to you!” OH I LOVE THAT SCENE! Seriously, Bella looks so hot in that shirt (like in a non-fake lesbians but “I love that shirt on you” kind of way). Why is it that the costume dept put her in more…revealing/sexy outfits around Jacob than Edward? It’s so weird. There’s no reason Jake SHOULDN’T want her! I mean, that’s sweet Edward’s willing to deal with that frumpy sweater in the R&J scene, but, seriously? Eddie’s all, “How come Jacob Black gets to give you gift and I don’t?” “Because Jacob actually smiles at me.” “Is that why you dress sexier for him?” Bella blushes.
      “In my time I would’ve courted you and had lemonade on the porch. Stolen kisses under the shade of the cherry trees. But only after I asked your father for permission.” Edward says.
      “In my time, which is now, I would’ve courted you and had muffins on the patio and gone for long walks on the beach. I may have stolen kisses by the flood plains overlooking the snow capped mountains, but only after your father gave me permission.” Jacob says. “Oh wait, that all already happened.”

      • operarose

        “‘”In my time, which is now, I would’ve courted you and had muffins on the patio and gone for long walks on the beach. I may have stolen kisses by the flood plains overlooking the snow capped mountains, but only after your father gave me permission.” Jacob says. “Oh wait, that all already happened.’”

        awww….gushgushgush…. <3 <3 <3

        This is why I love Jacob. So down to earth, so real. Makes me feel like a 17 year old. Edward makes me feel like an old lady.

        • operarose

          I should clarify that I am referring more to movie-Jacob and Edward not book-Jacob and Edward. A bit of a different story there.

          • TeamSeth

            Clearly!

        • Anonymous

          Interesting. Jacob, book and movie, make me feel like, “ick you are too young, stop being hot plz.”

          Edward , book and movie, make me feel like, “I just wanna try one thing. It’s called sex and it will be awesome. Trust me, now hold still.”

          • operarose

            “Trust me now hold still”? umm… that does not sound like fun?

            Now that he’s legal, I’ll take my chances with Jacob.

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Trust me & hold still can be fun, or at least it is often fun in fan-fic land. As in, “hold perfectly still or you will be punished in a way of my choosing.”

          • Anonymous

            You So Get Me, NYB. ;)

          • operarose

            Thank you. Makes more sense now.

            I am still innocent when it comes to Fan Fic.

      • Anonymous

        I’m kind of confused why the Rob fans shouldn’t read this. It’s sounds fine with me. YOUR TALKING ABOUT EDWARD NOT ROB!! (okay, calming down, hehe)

        • TeamSeth

          hehe, I was mostly playing off of operarose’s first comment. I thought it was cute how she put that.

          • operarose

            and I was just trying to be cute.

      • Anonymous

        TS, we are Jacob fan twins. That’s one of my favorite parts too. :)

    • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

      (Rob fans don’t read this either)
      There is no chemistry between B/E after Twilight. Once they hooked up in RL, they lost the on screen magicness.

      • TeamSeth

        It’s like TV, never have the two super sexual tension characters hook up — it’s always when the series jumps the shark!

        • TeamSeth

          Oops, I missed your RL reference. I thought you meant in the films.

          • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

            Eh, works for both.

      • Anonymous

        I thought that too til recently. I’ve mentioned before, I think we forget (at least I did) that he is a vampire and still has some trouble controlling his desire for her blood. We shall see in Bella’s after life if the chemistry is better or not.

  • JustGoWithIt

    Team Seth are you from BC, or are you just saying go Canucks because they are the Red Wings enemy?

    • JustGoWithIt

      Not that I know they are. According to my 5 year old the Canucks enemy is the Chicago Black Hawks.

      • TeamSeth

        I’m from Portland. I’m really a Pittsburgh fan (as mentioned way at the top in reply to that Detroit fan, ugh) but since they’re eastern conference, I thought I’d stick to my west conference favorite…and local. (Not to mention Daniel Cudmore is a Canucks fan!) Anyway, I love the Penguins because their mascot is so dang cute! My fiance is from NH and loves the Bruins, so… there’s a few times we cheer against each other (and usually I win! hehehe)

        And yes, your five y/o is SPOT ON!

      • Ish

        go the all blacks just saying

        • TeamSeth

          haha, I didn’t realize till tonight when I turned on the TV and Mr. Seth had been watching NHL Network that Blackhawks and Red Wings played tonight lol

          • Ish

            ha ha was actually referring to the nz rugby team but thats ok. BTW did you get any work done yesterday?

          • TeamSeth

            SHHHH!

  • Anonymous

    I applaud YOU TeamSeth! I just watched Eclipse last night and here’s the verdict: Kristen as Movie Bella (and I think it is the way the part is written, not just her) lacks spunk/confidence; Rob as Movie Edward (and this might be all him, I’m not a Rob connoisseur) has a constant look of surprise/confusion, as if he is vaguely surprised to find himself where he is; Taylor as Movie Jacob (and this is ALL him) nailed it. Movie Jacob is less annoying and less manipulative than Book Jacob, which is why so many people love him. But like you, TS, I’m not Team Jacob. Bella should be with Edward, because that leaves Jacob free for me!

  • Anonymous

    ‘So, if Renesme, say, wants to play My Little Ponies, Jacob will anticipate this need’

    TeamSeth you nailed this post! But now I’m going to be bitterly disappointed if there is no My Little Ponies scene, oh well.

    • TeamSeth

      they could have copyright issues, let’s manage expectations. Though, if you really need it, there are Twilight my little ponies out there, somewhere.

    • natteringyeahrobber

      I know. Condon, are you paying attention? My Little Pony scene is a MUST. I’m picturing Jake shirtless, except for a child-sized baking apron hanging around his neck (which he needed earlier in the day for pretend tea-time with Renesmee).

      Jacob: “Daddy Pony will always be wrong for Mommy Pony, but I cannot complain too much. After all, if Daddy Pony had not forgotten to use a love glove with Mommy Pony, my future wife/pretend-tea-date would never have been born! I LOVE YOU.”

      Renesmee: “Daddy Pony and Mommy Pony are never around, they always seem to go missing in the woods when I need them the most, so you are my life now.”

      • TeamSeth

        Renesme grabbed onto Jake’s fur as he started to run. She squealed with glee and transferred her feelings of joy to him through her touch. Jake barked back to her, which she’d come to know to mean, “You better hold on tight, spider monkey!”

    • Anonymous

      My guess is that there will be something of the sort. I mean, do you know how much filler there will need to be to make these into to full-length, exciting movies? Unless, of course, they’re doing reader’s theater, and reading the book verbatim while acting it out.

  • Ish

    great post TS. Agree totally. never got the whole choice thing in the books. For me it was always Edward but Taylor sold me on the idea that it was actually a difficult decision to make. But really seeing as the whole thing is utterly ficticious who gives a feck

  • Anonymous

    kitkat – I too just watched Eclipse again, what a coincidence *snort* and my verdict – more black t-shirts Bill, please.

    • Anonymous

      YES… and my friend would like to throw in a request for a v-neck.

      • TeamSeth

        My “friend” too (me, actually)

  • JustGoWithIt

    Those Rob abs really look painted on. It would look better without it. Not everyone needs a 6 pack, do they?

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Agree. Not sure why they thought Edward should take his shirt off. I mean, if he wants to gain sparkle attention, he should remove his pants. And underpants (do vampires bother with underpants? why should they?). That would be way more scandalous. But then Bella might not want to save him, because she’d want to see that show. Who wants to stop Edward from de-panting himself?

      • TeamSeth

        “Edward, you have to move!”
        “Heaven!”
        “Edward, it’s me, I’m alive. You have to thrust inside.”
        “What?”
        “I meant, move inside. Oh my gosh. Move. I meant move!”

        And it really doesn’t appear Edward’s wearing underwear in that scene.

        • JustGoWithIt

          That is a good parody idea. you could have him taking his pants off, and get around the dirty factor by having it produce a blinding sparkle.

          • TeamSeth

            And you thought the rest of him was pale… talk about parts where the sun don’t EVER shine!

          • JustGoWithIt

            Common sense.

          • Anonymous

            Forget parody, put that scene in BD as well (Condon! Hellllllo? You really need to be reading LTT today). Show Bella sitting on a bed, wearing sunglasses. “I’m ready for you now, Edward.” Cut to Edward, with super bright light emanating from his groin region. Maybe give out special Sparklepeen sunglasses to BD audience members, so they don’t blind themselves looking at Edward’s glory.

          • TeamSeth

            “I vant to suck your”

          • Anonymous

            They pretty much do that in Vampires Suck. It’s a giant disco ball!!

            And no, no underwear, there’s some nice behind bending pics out there :)

          • TeamSeth

            Hehe, it’s like the “sparkle nuts” Frightened Flips had up in her picture for UC’s bday! :)

        • Anonymous

          We really need a SuperLike button.

        • TeamSeth

          This reminds me that I am sad “Holy crow” never made it into the films.

  • Anonymous

    Um, somehow I’d managed to miss that particular zygote-Rob picture you linked to until today. Ew. Right up there with the loafers and scarf one. Armpit hair is near the top of my list of gross-outs. Have to admit I’m with you on New Moon Robward… it reminds me of how my husband looked in ancient times when he was 6’3″ and 155lbs… obviously I married him, but it wasn’t for his pecs… though he could hold a ballpoint pen in that cleft between his scrawny but toned abs. Ha, haven’t thought of that in years! I definitely wouldn’t have compared him to a Greek God, though, especially after an hour of watching post-meat-patty Taylor. Here’s hoping he committed fully for BD so we can enjoy those beach scenes…

    • Anonymous

      Ha. Zygote-Rob is def…erm, no. And armpit hair…*shudder*

      But I like scrawny guys. I call it “Skateboarder Muscles”, those long, lean, ropey sorts of things. Mmm yummy. TayLau is visually appealing, undeniably. But I will take a sk8r or musician over meat patties any day. That’s just me. My boy had that floppy skater ‘do, too…swoon! <3

    • TeamSeth

      We’ve already seen Rob topless in the beach scenes–still no commitment. Though Kristen looks pretty good… why they’d put her in white when she’s so pale, no idea. But costume and hair depts are always meanies on these films!

  • efam

    I agree about Jacob’s committment…I do think Rob could have spent a few weeks in the gym before his big reveal. Although, Rob has always had big shoes to fill as Edward.
    But I want “real” Rob to stay just the way he is…if he ever got beefy, I would be afraid that he would lose his self deprecating jokes (which I love).

  • Stacey

    Team Seth, love the letter! I also love that you mentioned Somerhalder and Tennant. (We do think alike! Smoulderhalder…sigh.)

    I do think Taylor is a good Jacob. I, also like to call him (affectionately, of course) jail bait as a nickname. That’ s why when you mentioned Jeremy(Ahem Whiny) from VampDi it all began to make sense why I think about Taylor the way I do. It just feels wrong to think either one is attractive. I must admit the guy who plays Jeremy is actually much older than the character, so I feel less guilty.

    I will say I am Team Jacob now. Team Jacob from Water for Elephants. Have you seen the pictures in EW? Good god. Just lovely. Plus, Reese is his costar/love interest and she’s a year older than me. Makes you feel less guilty about ‘appreciating’ a younger man. Maybe if Taylor did a romantic comedy with Drew Barrymore? Nah, that’s not going to happen. And if it did…nope I would still feel weird!

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Taylor is still in his teens. I could be his mother. I’m old enough and he’s young enough, and when I see him I feel motherly thoughts, like I hope he’s sleeping at night, using protection (“are you being safe?), and getting the right nutrition. I guess I could be Rob’s mom too (assuming I had sex with Dick back in 8th-9th grade, but if I had sex with Dick, Rob would not look like Rob, he’d probably actually look a lot more like Taylor).

    • TeamSeth

      First reaction to this comment, I thought I’d like him with Cameron Diaz, but I think she’s too intense/wacky for his style. So, really I’d like him with Kate Winslet–like how she is in The Holiday. But…he’s gotta put on some years. At least be twenty-two. Twenty-two is acceptable. He can drink for more than a year, he’s less buff (yeah, I think his buffness needs to calm down–I don’t really find it attractive, I’m more into the lean guy, like BeaDee), and there’s a deeper sense of maturity in his little alpaca face.

      He should really go into a charity of getting alpacas and alpaca farms to families in need in South America. I think that’d be a good thing for him to do. Young philanthropist, owning up to the look-alike humor (which wins more approval by fans and non-fans), great smile, enjoys California red wine, Malbec, and IPAs but in moderation, using his early-found wealth as an example to others in their communities and around the world.

      • Anonymous

        TS, I nominate you to be Taylor’s image consultant. He needs you now more than ever. Plus, if you land that position, that gives me another potential CW “in” and that’s always good.

        Save the Alpacas by buying special Taylor-label Malbec! I can see Taylor as a dashing vintner. And vintner is so adult, too. Kids cannot be vintners. I can see him now, hawking wines on HSN. “I blended this wine to promote alpaca-awareness.” “I blended this one to promote literacy in America.” “And this one, I blended just for CW only, to promote NYR awareness. Her number’s on the back of the bottle – call it Chris, after you’ve had a few glasses.”

      • Anonymous

        Side note: I recently visited an alpaca farm and could not resist the urge to buy some yarn. Personally, I don’t really see the alpaca-ness, but thanks to LTT I always think of it. But my yarn would have been better if it came with at least a picture of Taylor (or some wine), if not a personal visit.

        • TeamSeth

          True commitment on your end! But alpaca wool is super comfy!

          I think it’s the squinty little eyes that make them similar.

    • TeamSeth

      Oh, and while you know I truly love Ian and David, I generally only mention them for you ;) (and Sj)

      • Stacey

        And I thank you for that! The thought of those two have relieved a little of my stress. If only you added pictures. :0)

        Also the black and white picture of reclining Rob has helped. Not New Moon Rob, because he appears a bit sickly in that picture.

        • TeamSeth

          Yeah, that b&w is really hot.

          (yeah, see, I said it, ladies! I think Rob’s hot in that picture! Just like Max Talbot is hot.)

  • Anonymous

    Yes, he is Jacob and here it goes the reasons why he is Jacob and Edward is a gray sparklepeen or whatever.

    Jacob has a role to be played, by all means he was written and described in fine detail, his overwhelming presence eclipses Edward’s sweetness and his seven shades of passionate. The author had already lost the interest, he’s just a caricature.

    It is cool you mentioning Disney, although I have to admit, among other things, that I know nothing of the Disney standard of behavior. Then I started remembering the worst metaphor in literature’s story, I mean, Bella jumping off the cliff into the depths of his own insanity. At the time I thought it might be interesting, after all Edward had already died. I thought, “Oh she’ll grow up, she will find her inner self along to her beloved friend.” But the following story is so shallow, so narrow, so empty … What? That emptiness would be filled up with a baby? Jacob’s baby? Oh poor me, I really can´t reach out the Twilight magicness.

    Twilight is the “less worse” book out of the Saga. Eclipse reminds me a cartoon.

    Thank you for reading this.

    • TeamSeth

      Disney is FULLY committed to customer service. Outstanding customer service. It is the highest priority on their list of “rules”. Secondary to employee satisfaction (which I disagree with, Universal is the opposite. Employees first, then customers; I don’t think you can truly provide great service to customers unless you as an employee are happy with your workplace) Anyway, Taylor, obviously, received different training than I did (I was not a performer in LA), but there’s no way that the baseline wasn’t the same. All of the Disney stars have a persona that is the same–which is why they’re labeled “Disney Kids” by viewers/onlookers. Sure, based on the adult guidance in their lives they go different directions (i.e. Lindsay Lohan vs. Hillary Duff), but at the start of it all, they have a Disney spirit to them. One that says everyone should be treated as an individual who is unique and special.

      Hopefully that made sense.

      Anyway, you rock for keepin’ it real on your Twi saga opinions! :)

  • TwilightedForever

    I think that this letter should be put in the LTT Hall of Fame!! I’ve been thinking this same thing ever since NM. Taylor put his all into perfecting the role of Jacob, and he aced it. Taylor was great in Twilight, too, but he CARRIED New Moon and accomplished all that was required of him beyond expectations. He is so often overlooked by the Robsessed, so I thank you, Team Seth, for saying what A LOT of us Taycob fans are thinking!!

  • TeamSeth

    OMG, UC, why didn’t you fix my “triology” to “trinity”?! I always do that! As if the three are LOTR or something.

  • GracieB

    Taycob OWNED it. I almost choked on my apple when I read this: “And I don’t care if you come out in a year or so, or if you’re actually straight. I just don’t care, because you nailed it as Jacob.” Amen, Team Seth, Tay nailed it.

    • Bubs

      I care ! I’m greedy. I don’t want him to “bat for the other side” !!!! There go my fantasies !!!!!

      • Anonymous

        But then there are new, exciting fantasies:
        http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4021/4210450980_1f08718f24.jpg

        • Bubs

          Stop making me laugh ! I’m trying to be serious here….but I keep cracking up. Where do you girls get this stuff ???

          • Anonymous

            Are you serious? Sometimes I just look at that picture when I am having a bad day and it just turns my frown upside down.

            This one, too: http://data.whicdn.com/images/6100212/jacob-and-edward-kissing-image_thumb.jpg?1294437093

          • Bubs

            I prefer the first “fan/whatever/they’re/called” sketch. It reminds me of the Bella/Jacob near kiss in Charlie’s kitchen in NM [movie]. Now I’ll never be able to look at that scene in the same way !
            Still laughing though….

          • Anonymous

            srsly, go to Google Image Search. Type: “edward and jacob” and the suggestions will pop up. The first one will be be “edward and jacob kissing” It’s nice to know I am not the only perv in the world. :)

          • natteringyeahrobber

            OK, but no kissing images come up when I type Edward Charlie kissing on Google Images. So I guess I’m the only perv in that sense.

          • Anonymous

            sounds like somebody needs to get her manip on!

            Just finished watching The Cake Eaters. KStew brings it. Girl turns up the Twitchy Awkward to Eleven!

          • Bubs

            Exactly ! Plus so thin ! She reallys owns it – now that’s ACTING.

          • Anonymous

            At one point I was all, “Will no one sleep with this poor girl?! She’s Very Pretty what is wrong with all you boys?!”

            In all seriousness I was impressed. How do you act like your legs don’t work when your legs do, in fact, work? ( ACTING! I know, but still. ) She did the voice, the weird hand thing, everything. Visually lovely movie as well. Painterly blocking. (ArtSchoolFTW!)

          • TeamSeth

            You’re not! it’s a real shame isn’t it? I always look for Demetri and Charlie, you know, for the Charlie on Charlie action… but no.

          • Anonymous

            At first glance, I thought you said you wanted pictures of Charlie kissing himself. That would be one of the most interesting pictures, hands down.

          • natteringyeahrobber

            OMG, that’s the image I’m going to bed with. Someone please manip this or deal with my horrible attempt to do the same tomorrow. TS – I think you can just take your avi and make it kiss itself? Maybe draw some hearts over their heads to indicate love and sort of give them both slight stubble burns on their cheeks. Mega hot, and now I’ve officially lost it.

          • Anonymous

            OK, you all have forced my hand. This is another horrible manip, but it’s day 2 after a LTT posting and readership goes way down on day 2, so what the hell. No one will see this, right?
            http://i55.tinypic.com/214qc06.jpg

          • Anonymous

            “No one will see this, right?”

            Not unless I act on the severe urge to make this my icon. But that would require ridding myself of my Lee Pace picture, so I think you are safe.

          • TeamSeth

            NEW AVI!

            I was totally going to do this yesterday, but with a dif. pic in mind. It WILL happen though. Ahem. When I’m off of work, that is. ;)

          • TeamSeth

            Ok, I’ve definitely created my new avi… ahem. But I can’t upload it here (at work) ‘cuz that website is blocked. (I know, how dare they!) So, you will have to wait a few hours ;) It’s WORTH it.

          • TeamSeth

            such anticipation for it update… SQUEE.

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Waiting???!!!

          • TeamSeth

            ME TOO! GRRR.

          • TeamSeth

            I just remembered that I can do gravatar uploads… DUH. But I can’t link to the full photo for you guys :(

          • Bubs

            I did and I see…..[still laughing]. Has anybody ever counted how many Twilight related fan sites there are on the internet ? Just interested.

          • TeamSeth

            I just googled it… “About 243,000,000 results”

            But that includes newspapers/mags etc.

          • TeamSeth

            Too bad that’s not a dollar figure we could put towards education funding!

        • operarose

          ahhhh…I am scared!

          …but I kind of like it.

  • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

    Wait a minute, hold the phone. Rob has a Spartacus body???????????
    Sorry, No.

    He’s smaller than Batiatus, (who has a decent build but is dwarfedf by the Gladiators). A sneeze from Spartacus would blow Rob right off of that cliff.

    Ironically, a young Barca could be a good Jacob.

    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1646705152/nm1991541

    • TeamSeth

      Rob doesn’t have a Spartacus body… I gave a link to what is Sparta, which wasn’t Rob (or Taylor for that matter, ahem).

      • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

        Did give me an idea though… recast Twilight w/ the citizens of Capua.
        Lucretia would be a kick ass Bella!

  • Anonymous

    It’s an interesting point that you have here– Taylor really did commit to the role. The fact that all of these actors who play the Cullen Family can’t actually cut or dye their real hair and have to resort to wigs stolen from the set of The Benny Hill Show makes me very frustrated. I’d cut off all my hair for a couplea hundred bucks, easy!! These guys can’t do it for a million? Taylor got buff and chopped off his locks. KStew can’t sniff an onion to make her cry just a teensey bit??? Come on!

    • TeamSeth

      Did Taylor really cut his hair? I don’t think he ever had a long hair. But speaking of commitment, Billy Burke grew that stache ;)

      • TeamSeth

        Speaking of committed: SOLOMON TRIMBLE!

    • JustGoWithIt

      That would be funny if he actually had that long hair. It was a wig too! He might have had to grow it out a bit, for when they put the wig on and it looks better if some hair in the front is actually the person’s real hair. But he did complain about wearing that hot itchy wig.

  • JustGoWithIt

    I will say this about Taylor Lautner’s fitness efforts: he makes you wonder why he got that body when he turned into a shifter and the rest of the pack didn’t!

    • TeamSeth

      Because they didn’t commit! Except Alex…but I think he was already like that.

  • Anonymous

    TeamSeth! How I heart thee! What a great post. I absolutely agree that Taylor is the only one who really worked his ass off, and came across as really WANTING this. Let’s remember that he wasn’t even guaranteed the role in New Moon and had to prove himself, which no one else had to do. And how many interviews have we seen with the other wolf pack members and vampires complaining about all the working out and training they did and none of their bodies even COME CLOSE to Taylor’s. Let’s hope it’s not because he’s roided up and developing moobs as we speak…

    I think sometimes he over-articulates words and screws up the line because of it, but it’s probably from learning how to act here:
    http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/disney-channel-acting-school/1311340/

  • Anonymous

    Taylor is still not the Jacob I’d created in my mind, even after giving him stilts. But I really like him as Jacob… if that makes sense.

    Taylor, please forgive me for routing for Summit to r-cast a hotter (legal) replacement for Jacob in New Moon. I take it back and am glad you stuck around. I like you, you’re sweet and good at interviews and take things in stride. And am glad that you weren’t hot for too long before it was okay to think you were.

    You know, I think “Elle” on that SNL skit said it best, “[but then I saw him in New Moon and] I was like, YES! I want to bake cookies on your stomach.”

  • Anonymous

    Screw expectation management, get them back for reshoots with apron Jacob, or artsmock Jacob stat!

    Ok, I’ll calm down now.

  • Anonymous

    Great post my dear TS (not to be confused with Taylor Swift)!

    Now, I know you don’t “get” Rob, but believe me, I see all sorts if deliciousness and when I first saw him, I saw none (I blame that on that Twi photo shoot and my inability to let go of the fact that Rob would never BE the same Edward my lovely mind depicted for me. And since I’m wholly Team Edward, it was kind of important to me that they matched and they didn’t).

    PS. Please. Please. Fur the love of all that is holy, can we never see photos from the pre-pubescent Rob looking kind of B fda dSM? That and the fricking Snail need to just disappear and never resurface.

    • Anonymous

      Oh you had to mention the Snail!!! I had forgotten it for a few weeks! (yes, I just saw it for the first time recently)

      • Anonymous

        That thing haunts me. My memory’s abilities (or lack of) prove to be lacking at every turn for the last year, but the snail it doesn’t let me forget.

        Figures.

        Darn me and my curiositythat day I looked: “There just happens to be this link right here in the post, and all these other girls on LTT seem to know what it is. Sure, they say not to look, but I just HAVE to know what is so terrible because it can’t be THAT bad, can it?”

        Oh yes, it really IS that bad.

    • Anonymous

      I purposely never clicked on that link, just to save myself, but then I SAW IT as an ad on the bottom of some website! I can’t even remember what site it was (it wasn’t even anything questionable, I don’t roll that way) and I probably would have had no idea what I was looking at except from previous rumors. My eyes!!

      • TeamSeth

        AS AN ADVERTISEMENT?!!!!! For what, brain bleach?

      • Anonymous

        Suuuuuuure it wasn’t for any place questionable. ;)

        Don’t you have to be on an 18+ site to have ads with (albeit deformed) um… “snails” shown?

        maybe some medical site about how people deform themselves? hmm I remember watching some Discovery (?) show about people who deform themselves in the extreme. I’m not talking about a few tattoos that most people have. No. I’m taking about people that ink their whole skin green. Or tattoo their face like a tiger including implants of whiskers and implants on their face to make it have the shape of a tiger face and tattooing stripes on their whole body. Were you maybe checking out that site?

    • Ish

      i am going to be violently ill. you made me curious and so I googled around and now wish very much so that I hadn’t. Please dear lord let that be photo shop as opposed to… well whatever

      • TeamSeth

        I’m not sure how that could be photoshopped. Even the people at DeviantArt are tamer than that… (hm, okay, that might not be true, but still…)

  • Bubs

    OMG T/S – you just crack me up !!!!

  • Anonymous

    Why does someone always have to bring up the snail!!! I’m worried there’s a limit to how many times I can effectively brain bleach it out.

    And now someone is bound to link it, this one is all on you TJE. ;)

    • TeamSeth

      SERIOUSLY!

    • Anonymous

      *does Jacksper sidemouth drawl*

      I’m sorry ma’am.
      :)

  • Anonymous

    I don’t mean that Taylor had to cut his hair, I’m just saying that the cast didn’t have to do too much to alter their appearance– they just relied on hair & wardrobe to make them look like their characters. (And that Kristen’s inability to cry on film bugs the crap out of me!)

  • Anonymous

    I think I get Team Bella cred today, because I went carpetbagging at the going out of business Blockbuster today & passed up Little Ashes (I may go back for it when they are down to like $3 dvds, because it would really just be for the Radiator Scene….mmmm radiator)

    ahem, anyway, didn’t get that, and certainly didn’t get Shark Boy (because, no.) but I did get The Cake Eaters even though I haven’t even seen it. I also impulse bought Twilight again because the one I bought second hand doesn’t have the deleted scenes with the Edward thought bubble of him chomping on Bella that I have only seen like, once on youtube. You guys are the only people I can tell these things to!

    OH ALSO I got Gentlemen Broncos which is the most epicly amazing awesome movie that contains surveillance does AND Jemaine Clement. Guh so excited about that.

    I feel that my particular psychology is not well suited to staying home with sick children, because I am feeling loopy and just so in love with everyone here. I am not even drunk, and yet, I love you man!

    Anyway, yes. Cake Eaters and Twilight and Jemaine Clement. That’s my exciting comment. Have a nice day, kids.

    • Anonymous

      Go back and get Little Ashes!!!! It’s a great film esp. if it’s cheap!

      • Anonymous

        I did like it, I just don’t know how much I would watch it. I don’t really own that many dvds, they take up too much room that i need for books. I majored in art in college, so I knew a bunch of the stuff that happened from art history classes.

        It was one of those movies where I was like: *shakes off Hotness Haze* “hey this is a really good movie!” I’ll go back, I am sure. I am a sucker for sales, like an idiot.

        • TeamSeth

          I don’t think $3 for a film you do plan to watch more than once is a “sucker sale”. It’s NOT racked up 30% price at 30% off or anything. $3 is almost free!

          Plus, $3 is worth the radiator scene and the slash. And you get to hear him say, “I am genius.” Which may be a favorite line I have in my head sometimes and giggle to… on the bus… oh god. I’m the weird giggle for no reason on the bus girl! :|

          • Anonymous

            You are the weird giggle for no reason on the bus girl about obscure Robert Pattinson lines. It’s an extra layer of crazy!

            It’s not the money so much as the Clutter Factor. But rest assured, you have convinced me. Hooray for going out of business sales!

    • TeamSeth

      I agree with RFM–buy little ashes. So what if it’s only for the Radiator… that is worth it! Plus the chick in it is a phenomenal actor. When she and Lorca are chatting at the cafe and he’s telling her that he’s going back to Andalucia to see his family and she’s like “Don’t go.” and she knows he’s going to die if he goes. And she just delivers such a heartbreakingly great performance. Sigh. Now I want to go back to Spain!

      But also, the Cake Eaters movie looks good (someone on here mentioned she was super skinny in it, so i went to look it up to see what the fuss was about).

      Sigh. I can’t wait for April 24th. Then I will post every day to you telling you about the drinks I’m having :D Last night I went to the bar with Mr. Seth and got a hot chocolate. Sigh. Soon!

      • Anonymous

        I have had no drinks. Maybe that is my problem? Home all day with a hyper yet sick kid, maybe I should have been drinking. Silly me.

        anyway, yes yes, I will go back, I was just starting to feel guilty, I sort of bought a lot and we are supposed to be saving money, but then Princess Bride and The Aristocats and Sword in the Stone and I had to draw the line somewhere, and it was at Little Ashes, as well as Eagle vs. Shark, which I am also regretting but sort of happy that probably only I want those movies so they will still be there when I go back.

        • TeamSeth

          Aw! Well I’m glad you stopped yourself then. If they’re there when you go back, if you go back, then you’ll know it was meant to be. :) And if not then you save $6!!!! WIN WIN!

        • TeamSeth

          Aw! Well I’m glad you stopped yourself then. If they’re there when you go back, if you go back, then you’ll know it was meant to be. :) And if not then you save $6!!!! WIN WIN!

        • TeamSeth

          Aw! Well I’m glad you stopped yourself then. If they’re there when you go back, if you go back, then you’ll know it was meant to be. :) And if not then you save $6!!!! WIN WIN!

        • Anonymous

          Um, I’m all for budgeting and all but seriously? You bought Cake Eaters and NOT Little Ashes?! What kind of Rob fan are you? Oh, that’s right you gave me Rob and decided to go with Edward! PERFECT! :)

          Haha, there’s no thumbs downs here so somebody will actual have to comment if they think I’m bashing!! Love it!

          • Anonymous

            I have enough love for everyone…:)

    • Bubs

      I feel Kstew was excellent in The C. Eaters and she carried that “Hallmark type” movie. Have you watched it yet MNS ? Little Ashes however…..oh dear, if it wasn’t for that “Radiator Scene” as you put it….. let’s just say I’m looking foward to Water For Elephants…the promo’s are looking cool.

    • Anonymous

      Haven’t seen Cake Eaters but saw Yellow Handkerchief. Gentleman Broncos?

  • Anonymous

    You are right TS, ‘Who should have played Jacob’ is not even up for discussion, the answer is clearly Taylor. And for Edwards lack of pecs in NM, where was Rob’s personal trainer. It didn’t have to be a huge difference, but something… I do appreciate from the chest down though.

    I think Taylor and Rob both were/are committed, but maybe Taylor more so.

    I hate to ask this because I know he has been mention many times, but WHO is Chris Hansen?

    • Anonymous

      He’s the guy who runs the “To Catch a Predator” show… aka where we were all headed before Taylor turned 18.

    • TeamSeth

      I just remembered that taylor didn’t have to wear contacts–like eveyrone else did. Which is lucky. But… I mean, Dan Cudmore said, “It wasn’t a big deal because I already wear contacts [and look really hot in glasses too].” (I added the last bit ahem)

      Condon better get it right in BD with Beller having red eyes. I’d think that as it wore on she’d have more of a orangey eye… then finally the golden amber they have normally. Because when she goes to charlie’s for xmas, I think she was to normal eye color by then…. We will see. Fun times ahead for her!

  • Anonymous

    I’m nominating Chaske for a committment award. He went to rehab. which I hear takes a fair bit of committment and I’m glad he got it together because Charlie not being concerned about naked Sam carrying his daughter out of the forest was one thing, I mean you expect Charlie not to notice the details. But not being concerned about a naked, crackhead Sam finding Bella would surely have warranted a review of his policing skills.

  • pattygirl

    yeah taylor has to buff himself otherwise he would be out of a job, and nearly every photoshot of him requires him to bare his body or take off his shirt, sorry but thats your only asset, w/out it you are nothing. This is hollywood, they care about abs not brains but would it last?

    • TeamSeth

      I think you said it all: “This is hollywood”

      Anyway, after seeing Ellen Page on Bill Mahr, I’m kind of girl crushing on her brain and awesomeness right now. ;)

  • Pattygirl

    Sorry Taylor is not Jacob, I picture him tall and big native indian. Like real indians as in dances with wolves.

  • jihane ziyadi

    le plu beau  jacob i liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike you <3

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