This is how you found us: Vol. 7

This is how you found us Letters to twilight LTT

R-E-E-C-E-W-I-T-H-E-R-S-P-O-O-N-S-U-C-K-S

Dear Twilight,

Mr. Choice asked me this weekend when I’m going to “Quit Blogging about Twilight” (He’s been asking me since December 9th, 2008- the day after we started) and tried to tell me “No one cares about it anymore.” Because he’s a logical SOB I have to “prove” things to him- words mean nothing. So I hopped on our stats to say – SEE- People DO still care!! And while I was looking at the stats I thought to myself, “Huh… people really do still care!” Even though comments have waned over recent months, about the same amount of people visit LTT every day. It’s crazy. Maybe we don’t have time to comment, but people still need their Twi fix!

But while I was looking at the stats I remembered it’s been SO LONG since we’ve visited This is how you found us (over a year!) so without further ado, in the last 30 days, THIS is what you googled to find LTT:

  • Twilight sex fan art I googled this myself to see what delight you came across on LTT when your pervy self searched for this.. what I found was a You Tube Video (that we never posted!) entitled: “Twilight sex pictures cartoon lesbian sex videos sexy army guys free bbw sex movies boob girl” Which was…. all of the above minus anything to do with Twilight! (yep. Watched it. Sue me. It was for “work”) I also found this image which we have never posted but it seems like something we should post. A day doesn’t go by when I don’t hope to see a picture of Rob & Kirsten photoshopped into some sexual pose.
  • Vagina 27 People found us by searching for “vagina.” Our parents should be so proud, Moon.
  • Hairy Penis Scratch that. The 22 people who found us by googling this should make them prouder (REALLY?? REALLY PEOPLE??? You Searched for THAT and came HERE?)
  • liberator sex chair Imagine HOW disappointed some horny dude or housewife was (I say housewife very lovingly as one of my very favorite housewives owns her very own liberator. Ahem) when they came across this post on OUR site (<— read it. it’s a good one!) instead of a place to buy the liberator sex chair. OR… imagine the disappointment of the horny housewife when she opens the box after finally finding the right site & realizing it doesn’t actually come imprinted (!) with the Cullen Crest
  • hairy man 150 people searched for “hairy man” in the past 30 days and found US. In attempts to find out WHAT on LTT could have possibly been of interest to 150 people, I added “Letterstotwilight” into my search. Here is a collage of some of the amazing pictures that appear when you search for “hairy man letterstotwilight”

    Clicky to enjoy in full!

    (Yes, I, UC- non-hairy man although I did decide yesterday I think my arms are hairier than the average female- stars in TWO of those pictures!)

  • letterstoronb Even 30 Googlers last month made a mistake we’ve all done on MANY occasions. They found us by Googling: letters to ronb! Is it Rob? Is it Ron? Who cares! You can find us by just mushing the two words together!
  • natteringyeahrobber Yes. Sometimes we Drunk-google too like the 50 of you who looked for this last month
  • kellan lutz gay rumors You have come to the right place! We LOVE discussing those!
  • is david slade gay Another good question (Answer: Yes)
  • sometimes i pretend to be normal SAD!!! 8 people found us this way last month! While I like to think they had a laugh when they came across LTT & discovering all of us normal people, I also think they were probably looking for some actually real-life help.
  • Taylor Lautner Fanfiction HA! The fact that that brought someone to LTT blows my mind. Just because… I haven’t confessed to you all yet that I’m addicted to Taylor Lautner Real-life fan fic! There’s this one I found where you can tell them your name & they’ll send you the fix with YOUR NAME as the female heroine! And since he’s over 18 and all, Chris Hansen can’t even come NEAR me…It’s awesssomeeeee. (that was all a lie. Yuck. I think I know you all enough to know that real-life Taylor Lautner FAN FIC is not discussed here! I HOPE!)

Moral of the story: Not only are people still coming to & finding LTT but they are still googling inappropriate things that have NOTHING to do with Twilight or LTT & yet finding us anyway. Of course. As always. That’s Normal! So THERE, Mr. Choice! I told you!

Going to google new pictures of Ronb,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • GeminiGypsy

    Bahaha! Yes, I still check LTT every day- I didn’t have to google search something embarrassing, I got your website name off of Stephenie Meyer’s website a few summers ago :) Speaking of endings, I can’t wait for Breaking Dawn! November here we go :D

    • nocoolname

      Hey! That’s how I found LTT, too. Thanks, SM.

    • Nelle

      Same here. And the first post I read was about the Bree
      Tanner book that SM had just announced. I thought the post was hysterical and I was hooked on UC and Moon and the very funny ladies commenting. It’s been fun. But the slight lull in comments will end when the release of BD gets near I’m sure!

      • Anonymous

        I believe that was one of my posts, so double win for you.

    • Anonymous

      Credit goes to Stephenie too.

      First post I read was from reader “Lisa” and her Letter to Ashley. Have visited regularly ever since… mostly reader, occasional commenter.

      Thanks goes to UC and Moon! Y’all make my day!

  • Anonymous

    I wonder if anyone found you by googling, “legend of the slappy beaver” or whatever Bella’s googling results gave her.

    • Stacey

      You’re funny. :0)

    • TeamSeth

      lol my unicorn used to comment as Slapping the Beaver. Such win. Aww… unicorn. Alas, he went and got a girlfriend and no longer talks to anyone.

  • natteringyeahrobber

    Did I really drunk google myself 50 times last month? Anything is possible, I suppose.

    The thing is I cannot even remember how I found LTT or LTR. I do remember that I did see an image of Charlie was some caption like “have sex with guys with mustaches today” and I knew that’s where I had to be.

    p.s. I really hope that whomever googled my name 50 times was CW. Or at least 12. I’d be happy if he googled me 12 times. Drunk Rob the other 38? Success!

    p.s. 2 – Chris Weitz googled himself the other day. His comment about that was “I need to lose weight.” Le sigh, love that dude.

    • Stacey

      Chris Weitz did that? He so great!

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Yah, someone on Twitter asked him if he ever googled himself. Then he did and made the weight loss comment. We need to mention him more here so LTT comes up for all CW searches (might attract some of the loonier Twi fans, thus mean more loony fan letters).

    • Anonymous

      Congrats to you!!! I do google my screenname upon occasion (RG at LTR suggested it) but I found a problem. My signature on my LTR’s is Your Future Mate, hence my letters don’t come up. Don’t try to google Your Future Mate, you’ll get waaaay to many dating services! Anyways, that’s freakin awesome that somehow you got 50 googles!!! :) And send Drunk Rob over my way!

      • TeamSeth

        I just googled “TeamSeth”. Surprisingly I showed up for my 2 letters (er, my first two letters) to LTT! Along with…. all the team seth fan pages and TeamBOOBOO twitter person.

        “TeamSeth — NOT a pedophile” Yeah, awesome. That was my letter’s title.

        There was also this cute picture of a fuzzball puppy with the text “Team Seth: Because not all dogs are big-headed, possessive assholes.” HAHAHA! :D

    • JustGoWithIt

      I thought for a minute that is where your name came from, that it was some funny thing people Googled to get to LTT, and mentioned in a past how you found us post. I guess not if you are not sure. Would it make sense if your name was searched through Google via the actual LTT site? I think I searched your name once that way when I registered proper log in info to use the forum/health challenge. Or maybe people searched it to figure out the origin? It is an intriguing name.
      Do explain how you came to name yourself natteringyeahrobber.

      • natteringyeahrobber

        I was under pressure to come up with a name. I think I was natteringnaybobber on some other site a long time ago, and I was going to use it here, but then for some reason changed to yeahrobber. I cannot explain it. Wish I could say I was drunk when I came up with that name, but sadly, I was not.

        • JustGoWithIt

          It is weird sometimes what ends up being a long term part of your life. My husband came up with a password once that is now our email, and has been for 10 years. It is the plural form of a mouthwash. And my email that I put on my resume. Maybe it is time to create a more adult sounding email address to put on my resume, huh.

        • TeamSeth

          When I don’t read you as “Nat”, then I read your name as “Yeeeeeaaaaah Robber!” like “Yeah Buddy!” down south.

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      hahaha.. whoa… THAT’S soooooo WEIRD!! and kinda creepy.. someone is googling you.. seriously..!

      • http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/breaking-dawn-fan-art-picture-2 natteringyeahrobber

        It has to be me. I know I googled that name once, but the other 49 times I cannot account for. Maybe my DH? I’m afraid to ask him. So I’ll just assume Rob.

  • Sagalvr

    Wow, these are less Twi-centered searches than I thought they would be! I also found you when Steph picked you out of the hat–what a happy day :) I keep coming back because I still am gripped by this Saga, the characters, messages, meanings and now the movies, actors, even costumes and locations. I might be typing in your URL when I am 95, so you better still be blogging!

  • Anonymous

    This is brilliant. I love the internet so hard.

    CONFESSION: when I was a Twi-virgin and blushingly searching the internet for Normal People (terrifying times. I am still scarred.) I heard about “Letters to Twilight” and figured it was some 14 year old girl writing bad poetry to Edward Cullen, so I skipped it. I KNOW. But then my friend Hope was all “No. They are our peeps. Trust Me.”

    And speaking of terrifying people on the internet: NO Real People FanFic. No, Never, No. *smacks on nose with a rolled up newspaper* No.

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      whoo hoo! your peeps!

      • Anonymous

        You guys are totally my peeps. I need to write about my early days, when I wept/nearly committed myself when all I could find online were scary ladies who slept in wolf costume and hid their vibrators in the freezer (“it’s just like Edward!”)

        Scary days. Scary days, indeed.

        • Nettie

          Me, too, Marble…me, too. When I stumbled across LTT/LTR, I finally found home, with the non-crazies. Before that, I was scaaaared…and such a lonely Twi-virgin.

    • Anonymous

      Dude, same thing for me! I saw LTT and LTR links on other sites for like 3 or 4 months (after a friend recommended a different site), but I never came and checked them out because I too thought they were going to be super ooey-gooey 2nd hand embarrassing letters from NOT normal people!!
      I finally came here via some other website when Moon took some cell phone pics of Robsten before they were Robsten at a concert in LA. Then I poked around the site and was hooked. Been here ever since!

    • TeamSeth

      (sniff sniff) This makes me so glad I only went to Stephenie’s site and then clicked on LTT from there. And to think, the worst thing I’ve ever seen from Twilight is the snail. (OH I WENT THERE!)

  • Stacey

    I am really trying to remember how I found LTT. I do, however, know for a fact that it was probably around 3 a.m., I was most likely was nursing a newborn, watching Twilight on Showtime for the 20th time and extremely sleep deprieved.

    I probably googled “funny things to read when sleep deprieved, hormonal and strangely attracted to a very pale, British boy”. Wouldn’t surprise me a bit.

  • Anonymous

    How dare he suggest no one care about Twilight anymore!

    Actually, the thing is I don’t care about it so much that I seek out information or news on it. I am simply in the habit of coming to LTT (a habit I do not want to have to break, by the way!) and that, thankfully, gives me the small dose of Twi that I need.

    That, and my regular dose of hairy men.

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      and their hairy body parts *shudder*

  • Anonymous

    Oh, and in celebration of Team Seth’s newfound, uh…hobby? Freedom? Debauchery? Here is an article about Liquor and Learning! Yep, We’re LEARNING, you and I: http://www.theawl.com/2011/04/im-not-drunk-im-learning?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheAwl+%28The+Awl%29

    • Anonymous

      What happened with Team Seth?

      • http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/breaking-dawn-fan-art-picture-2 natteringyeahrobber

        I think she’s drinking again?

        • Anonymous

          She is! She’s drinking again for non-Lent! I have cider in my hand, Team Seth, where are you?!?!?

          • Anonymous

            Seriously we should have a convention. I promise not to be this loud and inappropriate IRL. Probably.

          • TeamSeth

            I hope you break that promise!!!!

            I was entertaining an out of town guest.

            And drinking.

          • Bubs

            Would you all consider having the convention in Sydney, Australia ??? Then I could come…..we’re very friendly down here and can understand “American” [we speak English-a bit like Rob].

  • Sue G.

    I found you through Stephenie’s website and read every post! You guys make my day! Keep posting!

  • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

    I found LTT by TRYING to find a super creepy renesmeee manip to eff w/ my photographer friend who does kid portraits. It worked, found (many) one and stayed for the laughs.

  • nocoolname

    I don’t comment so much these days due to life in general and, to be honest, the fact that I don’t care as much about Twilight as I did six months or a year ago. It happens.

    BUT, I still love LTT and faithfully read every post. I still care enough to check in with the “normal” people and get a laugh. Love you all!

    • Stacey

      How are you?!?

      • nocoolname

        Prrrrregnant. And feeling bad that I haven’t finished the LAST DARN CHAPTER of Wrenfield Hall.

        • Stacey

          I feel bad about that too! :0) I love your story. But I understand feeling very pregnant. Try to relax!

        • TeamSeth

          It’s ok dear! Maybe we can all write our own ending chapters and you can choose the best ;) Hope you’re managing just fine! Miss you and our little emails. Got my wedding dress! Will send a wedding update (Mr. Seth finally is ready to discuss all the wedding details!!! Squee!) for you to read at a leisurely pace if you want.

  • JodieO

    Lame. I got here by googling “How big is Ronb’s hairy man?”

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      haha i love you

  • zzzKATEzzz

    I suppose finding LTT via Stephanie Meyer’s website makes me normal. Whew.

    • BayWolf

      Yeah… Me too :-) Normal normal normal (or not ;-) )

  • Anonymous

    I found LTT/LTR thru another Rob site, one I don’t visit so I’m not going to call them out. It was good but you guys were my life now. I mean, yours were funnier, snarkier and a whole lot more like me! I am so thankful for the little banners on the side of websites saying “we love these too”. Now I’m off to find a new Rob avi! Got to get the priorities straight ;)

    • http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/breaking-dawn-fan-art-picture-2 natteringyeahrobber

      Love the new avi, RFM.

      • Anonymous

        Thanks Nat! I have a few more already lined up for next time. There are so many great ones to choose from :)

    • http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/breaking-dawn-fan-art-picture-2 natteringyeahrobber

      Love the new avi, RFM.

  • debbiedoo

    being way way way way late to the game….i found y’all after watching my “eclipse” dvd with the stephenie meyer/wyck godfry commentary on. she gave y’all a shout out while digresssing on jorts…after that i just googled ltr and found heaven in kindred second hand embarrassed souls….

    • Anonymous

      Oh man, that is so much win. You probably had no clue what to expect. Glad you stuck around!

    • Anonymous

      Oh man, that is so much win. You probably had no clue what to expect. Glad you stuck around!

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      that’s AMAZING!

  • JustGoWithIt

    I found LTT when Stephanie picked your name out of a hat to do her interview with

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      best day of my life!

  • Anonymous

    Oh, Mr. Choice, I’m still here. It’s just way easier to read while nursing a week old baby than it is to type a comment.

    • Stacey

      That’s the truth! I’ve tried to type and nurse. Not a pretty sight, plus if those tiny fingers get on the keys there could be some unintended comments. Then only imagine what could happen when googling Rob Pattinson. It could take you to some very uncomfortable sites, I would imagine. :0)

      BeaDee, congratulations!!!!

    • nocoolname

      Congrats!!!!!!!!

      Boy or girl?

      • Anonymous

        Giant girl– 9lb, 13oz!

        • nocoolname

          Holy smokes! C-section or the traditional route? I had a 9lb, 8oz girl the first time around but it ended up a c-section so I have no idea what it is like to have the OTHER experience with a huge baby. Congratulations either way! :)

        • Bubs

          Congrats Bea Dee !!!! What did you call her ? My daughter had a girl last week [on the 19th, "Zara Jayne", 7lb 7ozs ]. I’ve already ordered a “Twi-baby” tshirt for her from Cafe Press…..

    • Anonymous

      Congratulations! :)

    • http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/breaking-dawn-fan-art-picture-2 natteringyeahrobber

      Congrats BeaDee! 9lb 13oz – WOW. Back to typing with one hand in the middle of the night, then, are you? Looking forward to your 2 a.m. postings.

      Congrats again!!!

    • TeamSeth

      CONGRATS!!!! YAY! :)

  • http://twitter.com/hippietrixi Christine

    Now I wanna google random stuff to see if LtT comes up. Hehe. Is that evil?

    • Anonymous

      I googled ‘The Snail LTT’ for giggles and came up with “TeamSeth – NOT a pedophile”. Thank you, google, for informing me of this.

      • TeamSeth

        no problem!

        • TeamSeth

          Oops, apparently I misread your comment… or I AM google. You will never know!!! mwahahaha!

          • http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/breaking-dawn-fan-art-picture-2 natteringyeahrobber

            I just asked Cleverbot (aka Chris Weitz). Transcript of conversation below.

            Me: Is Team Seth actually Google?
            CB: I certainly think that google is good.
            Me: Yes, so does that mean Team Seth is good?
            CB: I cannot confirm that you are real.
            Me: Is Team Seth real?
            CB: Sorry, I’m too busy to think properly. Do try again a little later!

            (10 seconds later)

            Me: Is Team Seth Google?
            CB: Maybe.

          • TeamSeth

            And yet, maybe not…

    • http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/breaking-dawn-fan-art-picture-2 natteringyeahrobber

      Excellent idea. Work is insane today but gonna have to try that later.

    • http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/breaking-dawn-fan-art-picture-2 natteringyeahrobber

      Oddly, LTT/LTR does not come up in first 10 hits for:

      1. get drunk and watch twilight
      2. cheese lover (but sarah silverman’s “i love cheese” routine comes up…and after watching it, i’m pretty sure SHE is the one sending the cheese wheels to JCB: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeaPKuiyPK0).
      3. rob pattinson sex harem
      4. charlie jessica fanfiction
      5. renesmee jacob gross

      However, LTT/LTR does come up in first 10 hits for
      1. chris weitz expert (hit #4, baby!)
      2. crazy twilight tattoo
      3. edward cullen crate barrel
      4. brain bleach renesmee
      5. second hand embarrassing twilight

      • Anonymous

        Brain Bleach Renesmee. Renesmee Jacob Gross. Ahahahaha.

        Ohh, Crate and Barrell Edward! He’s lovely. *swoons*

  • Nettie

    I check both sites every day but rarely comment, so THERE, Mr. Choice!

    I remember how I found LTT (or LTR, actually). I was new to Rob-session and was fascinated with how he is so pigeon-toed and gangly. I entered something into google about his wonky feet, and found a goldmine of wonky-feet pics AND discussion of his wonkiness posted in the LTR forum. And then was floored to discover the actual “letters” sites, where people wrote about and discussed all things Twilight & Rob from my point of view (the “normal” POV, that is, not the typical Twi-fan. That’s not normal. ;)) and from that day, I was hooked.

  • Anonymous

    Not getting update alerts at all anymore (why, UC, why?) but I usually remember to check LTR/LTT later in the day, but am less likely to leave comments after everyone else has come and gone — maybe a reason for less comments these days?

    And I have many times googled other stuff unrelated to Twi or LTT, and I haven’t even been thinking about that, and LTT stuff comes up. It makes me laugh every time.

    • nocoolname

      I don’t get the alerts anymore either.

    • Anonymous

      Me either, and that is why I’m super late to today’s party. We had the day off for Easter monday (yay, Catholic universities!) so I had no reason to procrastinate and surf the interwebs.

  • FastForward

    Oh, you just reminded me: It’s about a year I came here first (from SMeyer’s Website, I think) and stayed because I simply LOVED the comments. You are all just great! I remember reading and laughing and generally being glad that there was some website that didn’t make me feel completely second-hand embarrassed. And first hand embarrassed. Sigh. One year of Robsession. (Though I think I’m more into my very own Robward-version now.) I don’t get the alerts, I just check regularly. Like every day. Dear Mr Choice, please let me have my Twifix – don’t stop!

  • twiprof

    UC, for some reason I am not getting LTT emailed to me….I resubscribed and it says I already exist! what is happening? I need LTT and LTR! help……

    • Anonymous

      I’ve never been able to subscribe, it tells me that every time! Although LTR works just fine for me.

  • Anonymous

    UC- so glad to see you commenting! hehe. I’ve been reading some of the LTR archives when you and Moon were the only commenters! Just wanted to tell you (tho you might already know) your hubby is posting on the LTT facebook page. Not only using his real name which is then linked to yours but sharing with us his mad-photoshopping skills of the time you “met” Pattleston. What a guy!

  • Anonymous

    Tell Mr. Choice that the men on LTT think that he ought to support his woman, in whatever she wants to do. Psychologists and marriage therapists refer to that as “being nice.”

    • nocoolname

      Are you a guy, webstu? Awesome.

      • Anonymous

        Yes, of course. And as much as I would like to spend *all* my time rampaging the countryside, slaughtering man and beast at will (like Emmett /wishes/), in actual fact, I have noticed that I spend most of my time… loving and caring for my wife and family (like Edward /wishes/). It’s not quite as exciting as the rampaging, but it is (perhaps) just a little more satisfying.

        • Anonymous

          **swoon**

  • T3lyv

    I dont remember how I found this site or LTR, I remember it being early 2009 or maybe just a few weeks after the site had been up. I had just been bitten by the twibug and had read all 4 books in 4 days with barely any sleep.

    I read the blog everyday, but I dont post all the time. we are even facebook friends. (waves to Mr. Choice)

    • tigerkitten36

      I posted the wrong name. LOL

      Tigerkitten36

    • Anonymous

      GASP! I want to be facebook friends with Mr. Choice! And I KNOW he wants to be privy to the randomness that is Me.

      • Anonymous

        Check out LTT on facebook, apparently he posts there!

  • Stella

    I often don’t read through the week, but catch up on the weekend reading three or four posts at a time. Since I am so late to the posts I don’t comment very often. But let me assure mr. Choice that your. blogging time is not wasted time, it is valued by your dear readers and looked forward to every week! And like many of you, it’s not so much about twilight anymore, but the lovely, “normal,” funny as hale ladies known as uc and moon and the entire audience.

  • Lula

    Oh, look…it’s the Liberator. A Cullen Crest Liberator. Good times.
    #Housewife

    • http://letterstotwilight.com unintendedchoice

      #housewivesrule

  • TeamSeth

    David Slade is NOT gay. hrmph.

    Also, Nat is FAMOUS!

    • http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/breaking-dawn-fan-art-picture-2 natteringyeahrobber

      Yes! Famous! And unlike SOME celebs, I’m happy to receive dairy products, sex toys, stuffed mini maltese dogs and wolf t-shirts and XL wine glasses at my office. Thanks in advance.

      • TeamSeth

        What about a mini maltese IN a wine glass?

        • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

          Yes. Maltese inside of shrink-wrapped XL wine glass. Or maybe the Maltese reading a mini-copy of Go Ask Alice inside the wine glass. That might blow his mind.

  • Bubs

    I dicovered you all via Stephenie [God bless her soul]. Coming late to the Twi world [last March via the books] I had a lot of searching till I found “home” [here]. You girls/guys crack me up everytime I scroll down on the days topic. Having said that I’m not getting emails [on either of my computers] again !!!! That’s twice this year !!!! By the time I get on to my computer to check what’s happening, it’s usually hours later after most of you have posted but that’s what happens when you live on the other side of the world :-(

  • Anonymous

    “LetterstoRonb” Clearly, I need a new twitter handle.

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