Breaking it down: The Font and I talk Taylor, bare feet and DOWN THERE!

Dear Taylor,

Sometimes I end up talking to my guy friends about you and not because they want to but because I commandeer the conversation and we go there. I apologize in advance for talking about some sensitive subjects for both you, Jacob and whatever’s going on beneath the Jorts.

(suck it Chris Hanson!)

A first… breaking it down with me and The Font

Take this invite and shove it!

The one where I totally commandeer the convo
The Font: Moon
Moon: The Font…..
*lots of time passes*
Moon: i take it you saw the new jacob picture but you’re too shy to bring it up?? do you want me to start??
………………
Moon: ok… running barefoot?! wtf? am i right??? just because white bread vanilla snoozville bella and edward sent you an F You! wedding invite doesnt mean you need to risk a cold or worse yet needing a tetanus booster when you inevitably step on a nail from running without shoes.
Moon: you send them a F You! gift from their registry and by gift from their registry i mean a flaming bag of crap thrown onto the cullens front porch!!

What should really happen at Edward & Bella's wedding

Moon: or you streak the wedding, dump a bucket of blood on bella a la “carrie” then yell “they’re all vampires you idiots” at the crowd of dumbass townies who couldnt recognize a werewolf if it phased in front of them……
(it’s your turn to jump in…. anytime now….)
.

The one where he finally gives in and jumps in
The Font: i go get a hot pocket and come back, and this is what happens?!
The Font: why is he BAREFOOT? is that a werewolf thing? or he does not have the twenty seconds to put on shoes?
Moon: i guess when you’re a werewolf in love with a vampire’s girl, pithy things like footwear doesnt matter. if he gets hurt it heals within minutes anyway so i guess he thinks fuck it, try to kill me tetanus!!!

Not exactly the Sports Authority

The Font: still. just for COMFORT’S sake
Moon: well maybe he’s realized it’s not worth it to lose another pair of shoes, because he’ll just get more pissed off, phase and the shoes will shread to pieces anyway. it’s a shitty economy still. he’s being economical and im sure new running shoes arent exactly cheap at newtons outfitters. its not like sports authority. they gotta put mike through community college somehow.
.

The one where we discuss Jorts vs Stretchy Pants and modesty

Official uniform of the wolfpack and everyone in our neighborhood

The Font: aren’t there stretch shoes for these kinds of things? the hulk always has stretch pants
Moon: you’d think thatd be the way they’d go, but they like the denim jorts. hipster wolves?
The Font: let’s talk about THAT! if they have JEANS on, how are those not ripping? jeans are not exactly known for their give
Moon: ok, here it is… (twi nerd of the day award) they either take them off and stash them into the woods before the phase, or they shread off their bodies. thats pretty much how the explain it in the books and movies. in the books, apparently, they tie an extra pair of shorts or whatever around their legs, in the movies they stash them in the woods
The Font: so concerned with modesty, these wolves

Dude follow the cut, we talk about naked Jacob and SO much more after this

.

The one where we awkwardly talk about men/Taylor Lautner being naked

Bro, your totally naked!

Moon: they are. they care about others. and killing vampires. there was an awkward naked scene in eclipse though. jacob got hurt in the big battle at the end and so he phased back into human form. NAKED
Moon: in front of everyone. not that his brohams care or it’s anything the old vampires havent seen before but thats gotta be awkward being naked and hurt in front of the girl you like, right?
The Font: depends on what you’re working with, if you know what i’m sayin
like, chuck (our mutual friend) does not mind having his shirt off cause he looks good with his shirt off
The Font: there are other people who would not mind being naked from the waist down.
Moon: oh i know what your sayin’ but naked, cold, hurt and shivering never really did anything to attract the ladies
The Font: well, he is heroic! he was injured in the course of duty! and assuming he’s doin alright, dong wise. it’s not all bad
Moon: HAHAAHAHA omg i hate that word. this is wrong/right thinking of taylor lautner/jacob’s downstairs area
Moon: it does earn him a lovely very sweet visit from bella at the end though
The Font: i’m just saying! naked is not always bad, assuming you look good naked.
Moon: if he had the skills and know how of a 107 yr old vampire maybe he could have converted… but he’s 16 alas
The Font: also if you are 107 year old vampire  it is fucked up enough that you are in love with a 17 year old girl
Moon: HAHAHAA
The Font: but you have to just be shaking your head when you are then competing with a 17 year old
The Font: he’s gotta go home, and just be like, motherfucker
.

The one where I earn enough Twi nerd of the day award points to fly free to Forks

Creep Sauce!!

Moon: but YOU (edward) are forever 17 ya know :)
The Font: how does that work exactly?
Moon: he never ages past the point when he was turned into a vampire. he was turned when he was 17. the others at varying ages. bella ends up being forever 19 SPOILER!
The Font: but he is still like a dude, right? so he gets more mature, right?
Moon: edward? he LOOKS forever 17 thus the freak out/dream bella has at the beginning of new moon. she dreams she sees her grandma and edward together. turns out its HER decades later and him thus making her want to be a vampire even more. though edward (of course) doesnt care about things such as age and wrinkles and walkers
The Font: well, he will. his junk still works and with modern medical science she would live to be like 70. it is one thing if you are also 70 but shit would get weird in a couple decades
Moon: exactly what bella says. they would have to pose at mother/son, grandma/son in “public” life. when they are most defs NOT! AWKWARD!!!
Moon: and not to mention some wierd Oedipus stuff
.

The one where dangerous, forbidden love is overrated

Worthy of being your new desktop wallpaper

The Font: you can solve all this by dating a dude with a soul, by the way. who ages and does not want to murder you.
Moon: Team Jacob!
The Font: team not edward, actually
Moon: but thats why it’s forbidden love and it’s so alluring. according to all our serious, in-depth, scientific research.
The Font: eh
Moon: and dangerous!
The Font: that whole thing is overrated. i want to know who’s gonna do the dishes.
Moon: hey, i would agree with you on this most days
The Font: what the living room is going to be decorated like.
Moon: i lean toward team jacob a lot but you cant deny edward cullen!!
The Font: where are the kids going to go to school? these are the important things, moon!
Moon: they are
The Font: not weird forbidden love shit.
Moon: and edward tells bella she should go with jacob because then she can have all of that
The Font: i just feel like all this romance has to wear off eventually.
.

The one where the Cullens are probably tax evaders, unethical and really bored

Where Alice goes for her "mad money"

The Font: also, where are they getting money? what are their jobs?
Moon: dude alice sees the future. boom! done.
The Font: that seems unethical.
Moon: and they have been around forever so with interest, investments… crap like that. horse races?! they probably bought in on google and apple early
Moon: poor jacob is saving up money for his beater of a car and edward’s out living on interest from his IBM stock. it will always be an uphill battle for jacob,
The Font: but what are they gonna DO all the time? just sit around and read books? that shit gets boring it just seems unsustainable.
Moon: yea they talk about that. they play a lot of games/chess, study, learn languages, do a lot of reading, hunting, traveling.
Moon: im sure it must get hella boring though. probably why so many vampires are just rogue nomads. and the cullens are weird
Moon: i bet they have pretty much exhausted netflix streaming cause they dont even sleep either!
The Font: man. and they live in the same place, right? they don’t even travel or anything?
Moon: they live in the same place but they travel. not like ALL the time cause how would they have met bella?
Moon: carlisle is a doctor so at least thats some distraction. and a regular job
The Font: i dunno dude.  this is a tuck everlasting scenario, i think. not worth it.
Moon: yea…… so jacob with no shoes… thats how all this started….

Team not Edward!
Themoonisdown

PS We DO NOT call each other The Font and Moon in real life… cause that’d be weird.

So we know why Jacob’s running in the rain but why is he REALLY running in the rain? You decide in the comments. Have you been invited to the wedding of an Ex? Did you give them a gift?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

  • leah

    I think you people are jumping to conclusions about the paper in his hand being the wedding invite, I think its a gift certificate for 2 free pair or Jorts at Forks Outfitters.
    If it was me i would be like “Screw putting on shoe’s, the Jorts are calling me” Just thought i would stick my 2 sense on the convo

    • Anonymous

      Yes, he realised the importance of Jorts after the naked Eclipse scene. Or even a good pair of hiking socks.

      • leah

        See thats what i’m talking about.

      • MariaCecilia

        And why not at least get a pair of elastic shorts to wear under the jorts? Ever hear about Lycra, dude? Would have saved you an embarrassing moment in front of Bella, checking out your junk..
        (Hm, or maybe you orchestrated that move to drive your point home: “I’m not only hotter than Edward, I’m bigger than Edward, in that department too!!”)

    • Moon

      you can’t pass up two for one day!

  • Anonymous

    Surely this is when he gets the ‘suck it wolfboy’ invite and he takes off to Alaska to hunt down a special polar bearskin for their wedding night. Jacob is soo thoughtful like that.

    • Moon

      if it was a total ef you, they’d get a wolf skin rug. oh hurts so good!

      • Anonymous

        He could skin the whole pack (hey, they’d heal) and get Renee to sew it up into one gianormous wolfskin quilt, that would show them….um something.

        • TeamSeth

          Bella might find that touching… like the pack wants to be with her always [in bed]

          • Anonymous

            Jebus, you know what? Bella was such an idiot, especially with her Nessie!egg inside her, that she *would* think that was sweet. And Edward would find a way to “accidentally” set it on fire, and then feel guilty about it forever, thus confirming his essential monsterhood.

            Wow, that was snarky. Sorry fictional characters. You know I truly, irrationally love you more than a sane person should.

  • Anonymous

    Regarding Jacob’s downstairs area, I did not make this but it makes me laugh so much I put it on my blog so that I could remember it forever. The expression captures are perfect: http://tracitalynne.com/traci/?p=1077

    • Anonymous

      Oh yeah!

    • Moon

      HAHAHAHAHA so awful-amazing

  • Crazddreamer

    In the famous words of Dane Cook “Fuck shoes! I’m going out without shoes!”

    But on another note, this picture annoys me. If I got a wedding invite from the girl I loved’s (i have no idea how to write that) fiance, I’d be pissed and ready to throw down. Does he looked pissed to you? He looks like he’s going to meet his pack for some cliff diving. No anger, just FREEDOM (totally said in a Mel Gibson-eqse Braveheart yell).

    And someting else, am I the only one who thinks those are khakis, not jorts? Blasphemy!

    • Anonymous

      Cargo Jorts.

    • TeamSeth

      Definitely khorts. Which are pretty much standardly accepted wear among RL guys. lame.

      I think he’s past anger at this point. I mean, he spent 40 days and 40 nights avoiding the girl with wanted posters all over. The picture is too close up to show you that he ruined his house during rage of the werewolf phase 1. The only standing part is behind him.

      OR Condon just wanted to show up C-Dubs in the phase on the fly exact same spot as in NM.

    • Moon

      KHORTS!

      and doesnt he go to throw down after he receives that? dang i need to reread the book.

      • cosi bella

        I hated the cargos in Eclispse – he wore cargos in the kissing scene.

        I MUCH prefer those snug fitting Jorts. ;)

        **bring back the Jorts! bring back..**

    • cosi bella

      Yeah – doesn’t look pissed to me either – looks like he’s in a relay race gonna pass that card to the next person

  • Anonymous

    He’s not running, he’s warming up for the dance number. That’s his cheat sheet with the steps.

    • Anonymous

      Jazz Hands! Kick Ball Change! aaaannd Perimeter Run!

      • Stacey

        Oh, please let their be Jazz Hands and the the Wolf Pack dance line. All the 13 year old girls will be doing it at the school dances.

      • Moon

        “aaaannd Perimeter Run!”

        dying

  • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

    “This (shit) is a Tuck Everlasting scenario, I think. Not worth it.” That would be the PERFECT speech for Jacob to give at B&E’s wedding. Concise, clear, direct. Then he and Jessica can dirty dance/defile during the reception just to create scandal (“Apparently we are not good-looking enough for them. Let’s gyrate.”) Maybe get drunk and deface the guest book with deviant drawings too.

  • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

    “This (shit) is a Tuck Everlasting scenario, I think. Not worth it.” That would be the PERFECT speech for Jacob to give at B&E’s wedding. Concise, clear, direct. Then he and Jessica can dirty dance/defile during the reception just to create scandal (“Apparently we are not good-looking enough for them. Let’s gyrate.”) Maybe get drunk and deface the guest book with deviant drawings too.

  • Stacey

    What a dang minute…where is the Twilight wig? Didn’t Jacob grow back that thing before the wedding? You know when he was off finding running through the wilderness in all his wolf boy glory? Or was it after the invite? No matter what, I want that fraying piece of synthetic hair back. I’ve kind of missed it. Missed laughing at it. :0)

    • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

      Yeah, he does go shaggy wolf, doesn’t he?

      Maybe he’ll just grow some mutton chops like Wolverine.

      • TeamSeth

        Mmm, that made me think of Mr. Darcy.

      • Anonymous

        On Wolverine, Hot! But please, please not on TaTa.

    • MariaCecilia

      Well, since Taylor hated the wig, maybe this just goes to show that now he has some pull too?
      Taylor: “No. No way. I am NOT wearing that wig again. No, Steph, I’m sorry, I just don’t care about artistic accuracy. And I won’t be swayed by tears. One more mention of that wig and I am off to audition for the next Bourne movie. I am a BIG boy now!”

      • TeamSeth

        *rubs Taylor’s head* Who’s a big boy?! Who’s a big boy?!! *throws grape* Go get it! Go get it!

  • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

    *Sends Jacob a twelve pack of Havaianas*

  • nocoolname

    We got an invite to my husband’s ex-girlfriend’s wedding, but since we lived almost an entire continent apart, I don’t think she expected us to show. But then my husband’s grandfather died and we flew out for the funeral which was the same weekend (and in the same state) as the wedding, so we decided to go at the last minute. She was QUITE SURPRISED to see us come through the receiving line at the reception. But we got her a nice gift (as she got us when we got married) and we still exchange Christmas cards ten years later, so it’s all good. I didn’t expect her to be so gracious about all of it, considering that he had been with her for three years when we met and he broke up with her pretty much immediately. (BTW, NO we did not cheat AT ALL before he ended it with her – it was just that it was one of those fate/true love type things the second he and I met. Man, I sound like a homewrecker, but they weren’t living together or engaged or anything like that when we met. I promise I’m a good person…)

    And…I just realized I typed a really long story that probably no one cares about at all. Oh well. :)

    • TeamSeth

      ;)

      Hm, wasn’t she getting married at the time of her wedding though? I’d think she’d be, I don’t know, happily getting married to the love of her life that wasn’t your husband.

      • nocoolname

        Oh yes – it all worked out for the best for all parties involved. I guess I was thinking that she was gracious to send us a wedding present when she wasn’t yet dating anyone new and then she didn’t make me feel like an idiot at her wedding. Very nice of her. Thumbs up for nice people.

    • ChillinWithCullens

      Crazy true story: I never got invited to an ex’s wedding, but an old boyfriend once told me (upon our breakup) that if he ever had a daughter, he’d name her after me (that alone freaked me out. Who says that to an almost-ex?) Ten years later, I’d gotten married to someone else and totally forgotten about Mr. Psycho, and he too had married – I ran into them randomly – and they had a daughter with my name, same spelling and all. Still creeps me out.

      • TeamSeth

        That is creepy. Especially if your real name is Renesme.

      • Anonymous

        oh my god that is the creepiest thing ever. does his new wife know that their kid is named after you? creep-tastic.

      • nocoolname

        Officially creepy.

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Speaking of face paws and psycho. I sort of have this eternal flame from my childhood. I seriously considered naming my first born after him, but I forgot that I told DH about him. “What about Neil” I ask DH. “Isn’t that your hang-up guy?” he responds. Crap. No go. I am so creepy. But you guys, if you knew Neil, you’d understand. You’d name your kids after him too.

        • Anonymous

          is it Neil from the Young Ones? http://youtu.be/QsGvFf-TM8E
          I totally understand.

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            Yes. Exactly like him. But younger, blonder, hotter, more puppy-dog like, more American. But mostly the same.

          • Anonymous

            Since we are sharing Past Boys stories, my high school boyfriend and I would call each other, and then watch the Young Ones and Monty Python on MTV together on the phone. You know, silently watching television with a phone pressed against your ear? Sometimes we’d talk during commercials. Or go get more chips. My mom hated it.

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            That. Is so freaking sweet. You are making me miss high school, which is hard to do.

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            That. Is so freaking sweet. You are making me miss high school, which is hard to do.

          • Anonymous

            It *was* sweet. We dated all through high school (well, my high school. I was a sophomore, he was a senior when we started dating). However, to make you feel better, he eventually developed a serious drug habit so we broke up soon after graduation. Fairy tale ending!

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            Well, that blows, sorry MNS. Tis better to loved and lost to drugs than to never loved at all? Maybe, maybe not.

            Well, the moment was sweet, if not the outcome. I had a good friend who I would call up whenever our favorite show was on (21 Jump Street), and we would talk hours and hours into the night. Then she went to a different college, and became a SUPER conservative Republican. Still is (her FB photo shows her hugging Darrell Issa).

          • Anonymous

            I had a good friend like that too, but she was the one my mom thought was a bad influence. Then I met Mr. E, who I would page (remember those days?) for my friend to see if he liked her.

          • Anonymous

            OMG, I forgot about the Young Ones. If Summit wants to do spin-offs from Twilight, I’d totally go for a Young Ones/ Wolf Pack mashup. Awesome.

        • MariaCecilia

          Epic love story! Now you got me sniffing into my tea.. Wait, maybe you could go on to write a book series about these two? You could spice it up a little by making him have some supernatural gift or something that makes him BAD for her, so naturally the parents will try to break them up, but they are meant for each other and..oh, well, you get the drift, right?

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            Maybe make him into a merman? Or screaming banshee by night? Hmm….my kid has a book about supernatural creatures. Need to do some research. I will transform Neil into some half-man half-goldfish sort of entity, so that when he reads the book, he’ll totally not realize it is all about him.

        • Anonymous

          That’s it? The end. Oh man, I think I might still be a little angry at the parents.

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            Yes. I’m glad to have so many experiences living in different places across the US, but moving around so much is NOT good for your social or love life during high school. Not at all. Funny, I was watching CNN a few years ago and they were actually INTERVIEWING him for a science segment. I couldn’t freaking believe it. He looks mostly the same, and oddly DH looks a lot like him. Though I did not plan that, I swear!

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            Type your reply…

          • natteringyeahrobber

            uh, not expecting anyone to reply. disqus is acting weird and posted “type your reply”, not me.

            i mean if you want to reply, fine. you don’t need to listen to random disqus commands! sheesh. if i were to issue commands, i’d probably type “ANSWER ME” like I do with all my CW questions on Twitter.

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            Correction: “moving around so much is NOT good for your social or love life during high school UNLESS you are Bella.”

    • Moon

      i love that you actually went! hahaha

    • ladyofthemeadow

      Seeing as we’re sharing: we invited TWO of my ex-BFs to our wedding and they did the music for the entire thing, since they were best buddies and they did music together all the time anyway. One of them later got married (twice) and the other never married — still pining for me I expect, haha NOT. Since I dated one and then the other, the theme song for the three of us was The Cars’ “My best friend’s girl friend (and she used to be mine)”. Ahhh, the errors of youth! Another really long story that probably no one cares about at all :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=500219972 Jessica Dickey Schroer

    This picture is great but the one that SUPER bothers me is the “morning-after” photo that is clearly lacking buttloads of bruises…. FAIL! I really hope I am wrong about that photo…

    • Moon

      well there were MANY mornings of eggs so fingers crossed!

  • Sagalvr

    First and foremost, Taylor is amazing to look at and I want to see Abduction because of him (even though in the preview his dialogue is ::shutter:: not smooth). Random question: Whose idea was it for Jacob to go to Ed & Bells’ wedding? I know Edward sent him the invite, but did that make Jacob want to go and then his friends went to protect the guests & townspeople in case he phased there, or did his friends (Seth in particular) and Edward conspire to bring him there to make Bella happy?

    • TeamSeth

      I think he showed up on his own volition. Then the pack was like “Holla, Jake!” and there was an aside of Bells dancing with her “best man-wolf” when she whispers about how they’re going on a honeymoon. Then he has immediate visions of gruesome hardcore Edward banging her body apart and biting off chunks of her skin and he goes into the pre-phase pant growl. Bella is upset and confuses that funny feeling in her stomach with pangs of guilt, when actually it’s just her half of Renesme trying to get out and comfort her Jake.

      Maybe I read it differently than other people though…

      • Anonymous

        Nope, that’s how I read it.

        Mad props for “gruesome hardcore Edward banging her body apart”…naughty! (was he truly concerned for her safety? I think he just went all WolfHulk because the girl he loves is going to give her ladyflower to someone who is not him, and that was just one more reminder that he is never getting BellaFlower, not ever.)

        • Sagalvr

          Thanks TeamSeth and Marble! You are true friends fur educating me about our free-choice Wolfman and ova inside Bella who are soulmates creating jealosy and guilt. That’s all clear now.

        • Anonymous

          I am irrationally holding on to the belief that Jake and Bella did the dirty on the mountain top in the tent. Thus Bella flower taken.

          • Anonymous

            Ummm… where was Edward during all this? Not that I don’t love me some Jacob, but I have to wonder…

          • Anonymous

            Listening to Jacob’s thoughts (always will think farts, thanks Rob) and getting ideas for the honeymoon?!

          • Anonymous

            EPOV: Okay, she seems to like growling, and some heavy breathing (scribbling furiously in a Moleskine)….inner thigh? Huh, never would have thought of that…(quick anatomically correct diagram)…whoa, on her..? Really, because…Oohhhh, I get it…Oh, and then…yes. All right. (closes Moleskine) Well, I will just wait for the finish and then it’s back to the tent for me! (whistles to self to give them a bit of privacy)

          • TeamSeth

            Except he wouldn’t be able to tell if she liked it or not… only if Jacob thought she liked it.

      • MariaCecilia

        Wow, that makes Bella’s eggs as psychich as Alice, since they haven’t even been close to any vamp sperms yet! Makes you wonder about predestination and the freedom of the will…heavy stuff this time on a Saturday morning..

        • Anonymous

          And the vamp sperm? Was it getting attached to Jake too? This is just really to weird for me! I think the two have to meet before this Jake bonding thing could happen.

          • Anonymous

            Totally. Edward’s vamp sperm had a hankerin’ for Jacob. That is why he says he wouldn’t hate Jacob if he wasn’t trying to steal his girl. It was latent Nessie Love.

          • TeamSeth

            Clearly! it all begins with a choice.

  • mrafiki19

    What I want to know is where on earth The Font pulled out that Tuck Everlasting factoid…??? Did he see that movie?? What other movies has he been forced to see?!!

    • Moon

      i like that you used the word “forced” i HIGHLY doubt that was the case

    • MariaCecilia

      Hm, I wouldn’t have seen it unless they had sent a free copy to my workplace and I was supposed to review it for our web page..but I did love the book when I was a kid! I loved all kinds of fantasy books: Madeleine L’Engle, Penelope Lively, Alan Garner..did anyone read “A Traveler in Time” by Allison Uttley? Sígh. Those were good times: summer vacation when you were eleven, with a stack of books from the library..

  • sweetinator88

    dudes, he’s a Native American
    it’s either moccasins or go barefoot, duuh

    • TeamSeth

      face paw

  • Anonymous

    Dang, I forgot how hot Jacob looks. I guess I’m Team Jacob once again (after being Team Edward in Twilight an Team Jacob in NM and Team Edward in Eclipse and now I’m getting confused which team I am now…

    • TeamSeth

      Team… Seth? :)

    • MariaCecilia

      I’m Team Charlie! That man is a constant in these confusing love triangles. Copstache forever!

      • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

        Yah! He may be a horrible cop, but at least he’s a predictably horrible cop! No apple crisp one day, berry cobbler another. He’s probably had the same bedsheets since 1991, too. Plus, he’s cute to boot. Looks good in black.

  • TeamSeth

    Can we please comment on that pic of the 3 Denali sisters.

    Is Kate wearing braces?! WTForks?!!!!

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Yes. Braces. But it’s a good cover. Especially for the clueless Forks PD. “She is pale…smells like meat locker mop water…can shoot her and yet she still lives…but she has braces, so she’s human.”

      • Anonymous

        this goes with the Forks Police Dept is hella not good.

        Also: I don’t recall the smell of meat locker mop water? Is that an Alaska thing? The only smell I remember is strawberries, sweet breath, and dog.

        • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

          Yes, the Denali coven smells exactly like strawberries. But danker, darker, baser, more-pungent/acrid. A bit metallic, with hints of marigold and death. But yes, mostly the same as strawberry.

          • MariaCecilia

            You must have a fine nose? Do you work as a sommelier by any chance? Maybe you could decode the wine reviews in the Sunday newspaper for me? Please?

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            No, not a sommelier. Though I do like the more abstract wine reviews, versus descriptive. My favorite wine review of all time likened a pinot gris to a “naked redhead sitting on a tractor.” DH purchased a bottle and you know what? Review was spot on.

          • TeamSeth

            Did it smell like the redhead or taste like the redhead?

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            After 2 glasses, it was like a being lost in a field of corn at dusk, but not being worried because you could hear the naked redhead in a tractor coming to rescue you.

          • Anonymous

            wow, that does sound good.

  • Anonymous

    Moon, I was kinda wondering if you guys called each other Font and Moon cause I sometimes call my LTR friends by their notreal name. But that’s because I met them online first. Thanks for clearing it up for me!hehe

    • JustGoWithIt

      I am jealous you have LTR friends that you met online.

      • Anonymous

        I was so blessed!! Wish it could happen more often. We need an LTT/R convention or something! Could you imagine the epic-ness?!

        • Anonymous

          yes please! It could even be called that: Epic-ness 2011! In Vegas! or here on the East Coast, actually, would work much better for me. Actually, my house would work best. Yes. Epic-ness 2011: My Patio Edition!

          • JustGoWithIt

            That would be fun. If I lived on the East Coast. I’m West. I’m going to the East next week to visit family for a week. Looking forward to it I think. I am traveling with a 2 year old. That can be hairy. I have a friend that I planned to see too, but she is a terrible emailer, and I haven’t heard back from her in months. Too bad too. I used to try to see all my old highschool friends when I went back, but it was a lot of trouble and people seemed to always flake out in the end, so it was just really frustrating during a short visit. We had one really successful get together, so I guess that was our last whorah.
            I’ve been feeling frustrated with the adult friends situation lately. It is possible that everyone is just really busy, but I’ve been feeling like maybe people don’t like me very much.

          • Anonymous

            It is super hard to get together, especially when we all procreate and shit gets real.

            I am 100% certain it is not because people don’t like you. I like you, even though you are only my invisible internet friend.

            I will be on the West Coast in June, and I will totally abandon my family to hang out with all my Invisible Internet Friends.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah! I’m on the West Coast (per my monkey code) too. Do we need to use the code again to find out where your visiting? JGWI, can tell us which is near her as well!

            http://www.100monkeysmusic.com/news-shows/

          • Anonymous

            We are going to be in the middle of nowhere, really, but sort of near August 23rd. I wish we would just be in August 23rd, because August 23rd is awesome.

            JGWI, if you are anywhere near July12th, let me know~

          • Anonymous

            Aww man. Not that close to me. Buuut I do think you will be close to Nat! (jealous)

          • JustGoWithIt

            Hold on a minute. There is a vote NDP ad at the bottom of this site. Is the NDP going for the Twilight vote? Smart.

          • JustGoWithIt

            A vote for NDP is a vote for Twilight. If elected we will make sure Twilight cast members will spend more time in Canadian cities. And we’re not just talking the wolf pack. We will lobby on your behalf to get Midnight Sun finished, I mean, if that is what you want.
            We will do our best to convince Summit to release Breaking Dawn 2 6 months after Breaking Dawn 1, instead of a WHOLE YEAR.

          • JustGoWithIt

            I’m August 19th, and going to NY and CT next week. So not particularly near July 12th, it would be a pretty long drive. If I remember correctly. I used to live in CT, and we’d drive all around New England. Going to um…all night dance parties.
            Why are we speaking in code? Is someone spying on us? Ah, internet paranoia. Maybe all our not normal friends that are missing the joys of Twilight obsession are reading the comments on LTT and going to figure out who we are. True. I assume all my not too into Twilight friends read LTT religiously. Why wouldn’t they? Funny, but I do kind of think that way. I wonder what it was like for Moon and UC when they switched over from covered faces and code names only to being pretty out in the open.

          • Anonymous

            I’m not really worried about it, I just think it’s fun! I’m pretty open in RL and I’m pretty sure you guys wouldn’t be stalking me so…

          • JustGoWithIt

            It was fun. Like when Alice gives Bella the note about J. Jenks. But why am I on the 100 Monkeys website? And why am I on the getto site and not the legit downtown one? Okay, I just that made no sense.

          • JustGoWithIt

            Sorry, typing while listening out for playing children.

          • Anonymous

            We’re using the Monkey tour because MNS and I were both going to go…but in totally different locations.

            And I may be willing to do a roadtrip if it was to meet some of you ladies!!

          • http://twitter.com/pineylonesome natteringyeahrobber

            yah, i’m august 23rd. where is the middle of nowhere MSN? like paradise, ca? that’s really nowhere, a really strange town. or maybe yuba city? also out there. there are a lot of pretty towns in the middle of nowhere. we often vacation ITMON, just to get away from city noises. but not paradise, ca. not aptly named. avoid. unless it has changed recently.

            JGWI – one of the odd things about living in the august 23rd area is that people are constantly moving AWAY from august 23rd. we’ve lost 5 close sets of friends in the last 4 years (all went to East Coast or Seattle), and basically living here is like a ticket to losing friends to other cities. Painful. It’s hard enough making friends as an adult (with kids), but when you finally do, forget it, they get job offers in cities with affordable housing. August 23rd is a good place to live if you like losing friends to other cities all the time. I feel your pain – maintaining adult friendships is crazy hard sometimes.

          • JustGoWithIt

            For a while I lost my friends to Toronto. But they came back. Now most of my friends here have bought houses, so I’m pretty sure they are staying (of course the price of houses could easily drive us out). Now it is just a matter of making time to get together with them. Which is honestly hard. Most evenings I look around at my house and think “have someone over? There are already too many people here”.

          • TeamSeth

            Maybe Aug 23 and Aug 19 can meet up in Aug 21? :D I’m happy to lead the Twi shooting tour complete with brewery and winery stops… and it’s not like Aug 21 is Spokane which is completely NOT on the I-5 corridor at all (so weird they’re going there then instead of after Salt Lake)

          • JustGoWithIt

            I wonder if there is anyway I could do something like that. I have 2 kids and 2 jobs, so it is pretty hard to get away. Sunday is basically my only day off, during which I have no particular responsibilities. Beside taking care of my own kids of course. In September I will probably switch my job situation around and be able to have whole weekends and long weekends off.

          • TeamSeth

            Maybe Aug 23 and Aug 19 can meet up in Aug 21? :D I’m happy to lead the Twi shooting tour complete with brewery and winery stops… and it’s not like Aug 21 is Spokane which is completely NOT on the I-5 corridor at all (so weird they’re going there then instead of after Salt Lake)

          • Anonymous

            We will be in Pinecrest. Which, according to the map, is Nowhere, with Nothing around it. I am super psyched to fly all the way across the country with a 6 year old, and then get in a car and drive 3-5 more hours. That will be epic.

            I know what you mean about people leaving, and YES, everyone seems to go to Seattle or Portland. Weird. We seem to have stabilized a bit, friend-exodus-wise, which is weird because we are in a big college town, which usually means people coming and going. But our weird little area (“26 square miles surrounded by reality”) seems to retain people. Because of the awesomeness.

            I said “weird” too much in this comment. I am still hungover, it seems.

          • TeamSeth

            Maybe you should join them and come to Portland… :D

          • Anonymous

            Hah. It’s not out of the question, although we have a pretty sweet set up out here, and I am a New England girl at heart. I suppose you guys have forests and oceans, too…and large predators good for eatin’…

  • cosi bella

    oops late posting a comment.

    But the picture is weird to me – is that rain? If so why the sunshine?

    looks more like a pollen storm or a plague of locusts or he’s running through a sprinkler. But then why is he completely dry?

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