Kellan makes us ask the age old question…

Dear Kellan,

I was surfing the webs and noticed you went to the Victoria’s Secret 6th Annual (there was need for 5 others?) “What Is Sexy?” Celebration. Besides the obvious questions: this is a celebration? Why is there a question mark in a party name? Are only “sexy” people allowed or does Ed Helms get a free pass (cause he’s sexy to me)? So I got to thinking are you putting me up to the challenge? Are you asking me to prove to you I know what’s sexy?! WELL mission accepted pal!

What IS sexy…


Dude in a white tee and jeans on a classic car (nevermind the whittling)? Boom: Sexy.
.
Dude discussing life and ladies with his mom after what can only be a Chico’s shopping spree? Boom: Sexy.
.


Guy in a suit on what looks like his grandpa’s Buick after Sunday services? Boom: Sexy.
.


Poolboy doing a thorough job of cleaning and removing all debris from the pool, whilst the lady of the house watches from behind the kitchen shutters? Boom: Sexy.
.


Dude looking all dark and mysterious and foreboding and all come get me in this wool peacoat from Zara Men’s line that I picked up while you were in the dressing room and I was holding your purse cause I’m secure in my masculinity? Boom: Sexy.
.
Dude who says don’t worry babe I’ll get all the luggage and find our car while you go call your mom and tell her we landed safe and we can’t wait till she comes to visit for 3 months and stays with us? Boom: Sexy
.


Dude who’s not afraid to dress up for his girlfriends work costume party/neighborhood block party/children’s birthday/Church Harvest festival/Pride Parade in West Hollywood even thought he’ll be ogled/look alike contest/ex boyfriends halloween party? Boom: Sexy!
.
Dude who says don’t worry ma’m I got this and then stops traffic to help a 90 year old lady cross the street with her groceries and then personally escorts a group of orphans across the busy intersection before heading into his shift as a volunteer firefighter in the understaffed inner city? Boom: Sexy.
.


Dude who saves animals from burning homes, flood wrecked towns on the Mississippi and natural disaster savaged cities during his volunteer firefighter and National Guard shifts and then adopts them and loves them as his very own after doing exhaustive searches to find their owners? Boom: Sexy.
.

Ok… so I think I know what IS sexy… let me take a stab and what’s NOT sexy...

follow the cut
What is NOT sexy…
.


Dude who has serial killer tendencies and was voted most likely to end up on America’s Most Wanted in high school? Boom: Not Sexy!
.


Dude who doesn’t leave anything to the imagination after his audition for a day shift at the local Chippendales? Not Sexy.
.

Dude who fixes your car when it breaks down in the valley, plans board game nights with snacks and the original Trivial Pursuit and Pictionary, brings you tacos from your favorite stand and watches Mean Girls with you when you just want to stay in YET doesn’t acknowledge his feelings for you and the weird more than friends tension that’s obviously there so he covers it up by dating some hussies? Boom: NOT sexy!
.
I’m not really sure what this Victoria’s Secret “What is sexy?” celebration is all about nor do I really care because let’s face it, I think I’ve got a REALLY  good handle on what is sexy and what isn’t. I think all the ladies would agree…

1st Annual We know what sexy is celebration,
Themoonisdown

PS I think I like you best with dark hair…. fyi

So what’s sexy to you… and what the heck is this “celebration” about? Kellan: better with dark or blond hair? AAANNNDD go!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

  • Anonymous

    Kellan with dark hair. No question.

    • Anonymous

       Agreed. Dark hair. 

      That one pictures with him pulling his pants WAAAAAAY down is creepster. Ew. Do not assault my eyes with your junk, pls Kellan. I can find it myself. 

      • MariaCecilia

        If I need to go looking for it, I probably don’t need it… :-) 

  • Devilndeskyes

    Kellan and his dark hair definitely however have to agree with the whole “hussie” thing not being sexy. Definitely needs to re-evaluate that shit.

  • Pingback: Why Kellan Lutz is sexy… or not()

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001626556180 Lita Gabriel

    Sexy: Kellan anyway, anyhow, anywhere
    Not Sexy:  his little friend WhatsHerName McCord. 
     

  • Anonymous

     I saw my e-mail this morning and was so excited for a letter to Kellan today!  LTK are always so stinkin’ entertaining!

  • natteringyeahrobber

    Guy who looks like I could not hold a conversation with him for longer than 20 seconds (even if it was all about him) = NOT sexy

    Guy who looks like he’d always steal my Venus razor to “just clean up” his forearm & knuckle hair = NOT sexy

    Guy who wears mod black sweater to cover up lack of body hair and gives me a f-me stare for hours (instead of giving me judgmental talk about golden retrievers) = OK, maybe a little sexy.

     

    • MariaCecilia

      So what if the guy in the Sunday suit gives you a judgemental talk about the need to mend your ways and stop ogling half-naked guys on the Internet, preacher style? Could that be sexy – in a disturbing sort of way? 

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Wait. Is he stripping while lecturing me? Am I tied to Rob? Is Taylor watching it all from a peephole? If so, then yes, it is disturbingly sexy.

        • Anonymous

          K: “ReNOUNCE your mischievous ways-ah, NYR.” *flings tie, which almost hits Taylor in the eye.*

          R: “Could you just wiggle a bit to the left? My leg’s asleep.”

          K, reaching for his buttonfly: “The WAGES-ah of sin…”

          Suddenly Jacksper barges in: “Hey guys! Wanna hear my band play?!”

          Everyone: “No.”

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Wait. Is Jasper wearing only knee socks, a pelt made out of banana skin, and a tabla strapped to his back? Is he taking his 100 monkeys act solo for the evening? If so, I think he might be able to provide an interpretive beat to accompany K’s strip act. Hopefully T bought many rolls of quarters, this could be a long night.

          • TeamSeth

            Interpretive beat sounds too much like Cougwicke’s thing.  Taylor might have peep hole competition.

  • ladyofthemeadow

    Sexy = Guy who looks like he’s about to say, “Hey hon, let’s hit the gym tonight”. We’d spot each other. I’d marvel over his rippling meat, and feel the silent wrath of the other girls at the gym (and the gay guys) who wished he was theirs.

    God that makes me sound small-minded. It’s only a game…

  • MariaCecilia

    LOL I guess you shouldn’t ask me what is sexy, I am married to a man I think is the sexiest guy on earth although he looks nothing like Kellan! I will admit, though, that it doesn’t hurt to rest one’s eyes upon pictures of aforesaid Kellan, as long as he doesn’t go overboard on the olive oil or pants-dropping. (No, YOU are supposed to make US drop our panties, Kellan dear, not the other way around.) 

  • TeamSeth

    Um, Zara coat Kellan is reminding me of Kerry from Dawson’s Creek… the gay brother, was Kerry is name?  Still hot though.

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Jack? Wasn’t his name Jack? This guy, right? http://i45.tinypic.com/2lkzk9k.jpg

    • Anonymous

      Close.  Kerr Smith.  The guy who played Jack, Andie’s gay brother on Dawson’s Creek.  I always thought he was hot too.

      I see what you’re saying about the pic above of Kellan’s.  The two guys don’t really look alike, but something about the look on Kellan’s face I think in that pic that I can see why you were reminded of him.

      • TeamSeth

        Yeah! Kerr Smith!  he was on that show (more recently) Life Unexpected.  I liked that show, but it had run its course.  It harkened me back to my Roswell days…

  • Sagalvr

    The “I’ll get all the luggage and find our car while you go call your mom and
    tell her we landed safe and we can’t wait till she comes to visit for 3
    months and stays with us?” is SOOOOO sexy I can’t stand it. Like dishwashing, fixing the plumbing, changing the furnace filter sexy.

    • ladyofthemeadow

      Mmmm, like those books, “Porn for Women”. I’d insert a linky to the book on Amazon, but I don’t think I should search that title from work, LOL.

      Ironing, making the bed, picking up socks, spontaneously making dinner = very sexy. I think I need a house-husband that looks like Kellan.

  • superhumanmoron

    Sexy = Promise Keepers.  Duh. 

    • MariaCecilia

      So, I’m curious about this Promise Keepers-tribe; exactly WHAT is it that they are promising me in a future relationship? Sex on demand? Taking out the trash? Three course dinners? I’m open for negotiations… 

      • TeamSeth

        I want a dedicated personal trainer who is douchey like the ones at my gym.  If I needed someone to bark at me, I’d just call my mom, thanks.  Um, what was the topic again?  Oh yeah, negotiating promise keepers…

        • Teamseth

          who is NOT douchey like the ones at the gym*

  • Anonymous

    I asked Mrs. Unico this most important question and she said “chocolate bars” so I purchased as much chocolate as I could find to give to her. I plan on making dinner and then putting the children to bed so she can have mommy time. That way she can have her way… with her chocolate.

    • JustGoWithIt

      I haven’t eaten chocolate in a week. Perhaps that is why I am feeling so cagey.

  • Bubs

    Kellan sexy ???? Nah, not getting the love on that. Taylor on the other hand yummmmm. Still looks cute n innocent [I want to change that…pity I have such a great husband…sometimes… I feel guilty].  

    • natteringyeahrobber

      I don’t get Kellan lust, either, honestly. If I had to create a “What is Sexy” list, Kellan would probably fall squarely at #2,456 (right after modern alarm clocks and legislative histories). I agree that he’s quite attractive, but sexy, not as much. Except in the black sweater jacket or whatever that thing is. In that shot, he’s more like #356, right after college sweatshirts right out of the dryer. Taylor…I wasn’t always a fan, but now that he’s inching toward 21, he’s more like #87, after the smell of old pulp paperbacks and before art deco alarm clocks from the 1940’s (like this – UNF – http://www.antiquesnavigator.com/ebay/images/2010/280583660316.jpg

      • Anonymous

         Agreed. Kellan is too big and oafy for my particular tastes. TayLau,
        too, in a way. I see the attraction, but I am much more inclined towards
        the skinny rock star/sk8r boy types. (Hi Rob. I love your scruffy,
        lanky ass!) (ew. wait. Scruffy ass is … not a good visual. Pls
        disregard and reword that in your head as if it made more sexy sense.
        Thanks.)

        Also I would take that clock and love it and hug it and name it George. MmMm.

        • natteringyeahrobber

          OK, skinny rock star/sk8er boy. What number would TomStu be on your sexy list. He seems to match your description, especially here. http://www.3am.co.uk/sienna-miller-has-big-beardy-snog-with-tom-sturridge—pics/27582/ (I chose that news site because they used the phrase “big beardy snog” in the URL).
          I guess I’d have to rank him somewhere before Taylor. He does theatre, damn it. And knows Rob. Though my hobo love does have its limits.  Cigarette + Sienna Miller do not increase his sexy points. 

          • Anonymous

             Really it’s the GAH TOO HAIRY, *and* the cigarettes *and* the Sienna Miller that give him minus sexy points. Also? 2009 called and wants it’s trucker hat back.

          • Teamseth

            Don’t get me started on the Stu.  He comes in Louis Vuitton size though.

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Oh I miss your LV carrier with pet TomStu…I used to have that image saved but it has gone missing…do you still have it somewhere? 

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Nevermind. Found it. Reposting for anyone who missed TS’s awesome creation the first time around. 
            http://i56.tinypic.com/1213dyw.jpg

          • TeamSeth

            hahahha  It’s still funny!  I love chewy :)  And the toasted ravioli, even though I don’t remember why that was funny.

        • TeamSeth

          I’m guessing Rob has a scruffy ass.  Just saying, hair on the front means hair on the bum.  Not like Sasquatch or anything, but…

          Anyway… speaking of extremely fuzzy men, STEVE JONES MMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Anonymous

             Dude! Scruffy ass! Wait, “hair on the front”? What front are we speaking of? Face front? He has the regular amount. Chest front? IDK, was is waxed? Seems fairly sparse-ish. Do you have Secret Knowledge of the LOWER FRONT that you are not telling about?!?!

            Oh my god, El Unico is never coming back, is he?

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Just googled Rob Pattinson’s bum. Of course, there were no real images (just wanted to confirm). However I did learn two things.

            1. He once injured his ass while filming  Twilight and required massages. OMG. Dream job. http://tvnz.co.nz/content/2641383

            2. When filming Remember Me, he strapped a bra around his bum for the sake of “modesty” (to cover up hair on the back?).
            http://www.mtv.co.uk/artists/robert-pattinson/news/197543-r-pattz-admits-to-wearing-fake-bum

            El Unico, stick around. Your wife can only be impressed with your new knowledge re: Rob’s bum. I mean, if my DH came home with an application for me to be Rob’s bum masseuse, I’d love him even more.

          • Anonymous

             *sigh* I knew I should have gone to massage school. Stupid BFA. I never get to massage anyone’s bum. *pouts*

          • TeamSeth

            I’m sorry. Pause.

            He strapped a bra around his bum for the sake of modesty in 2010, but in 2008 full frontal is A-okay?

          • Anonymous

            I am  still unsure of the function of the bum bra.

            psst: I am going to go make a Dark and Stormy. Join me?

          • TeamSeth

            I had two beers instead… well, plus I only just saw this now.  And I still dont’ like rum very much.

          • Anonymous

             I understand your feelings about rum. It has been sullied by weird fruity drinks, and pirates. But rum has its place. Like, for example, with a nice ginger beer and a splash of lime. And you have to have good rum, obviously.

            You pick the drinks next time ;)

          • natteringyeahrobber

            maybe he is not ashamed of the tuck, but the bum…needs a bra. actually, a better question is why did he use a bra on his butt? i mean, as opposed to a lime colored thong or something?

          • TeamSeth

            and why do we have to edit ourselves for El Unico?  If I knew the RPatzz pubic hair vs. chest hair comments were banned…

          • TeamSeth

            (El Unico: that was in good spirits, not anger. I do like you! Please stay!)

          • Anonymous

             Ha ha! I am sure El Unico is cool. (RIGHT?! Why isn’t he talking? Did we break him already?)

            Long live inappropriate discussions of strange men’s body hair!

      • Anonymous

         Agreed. Kellan is too big and oafy for my particular tastes. TayLau,
        too, in a way. I see the attraction, but I am much more inclined towards
        the skinny rock star/sk8r boy types. (Hi Rob. I love your scruffy,
        lanky ass!) (ew. wait. Scruffy ass is … not a good visual. Pls
        disregard and reword that in your head as if it made more sexy sense.
        Thanks.)

        Also I would take that clock and love it and hug it and name it George. MmMm.

  • sweetinator88

    dark hair Kellan definitely!
    who else heard about Nikki Reed and Paul McDonald from American Idol??? isn’t that super weird?

    and who else wants to kill Disqus right now (with this tagging crap making the cursor jump all over the place im seriously going to murder it) ?

    • TeamSeth

      I was ready to murder it, yes!  I thought maybe it was just my work computer and IT was “sharing my desktop” without my knowledge or something (that’s my biggest work fear) and it was getting all messed up.  But apparently just disqus… good to know I’m still not being spied on at work :)

      • sweetinator88

        hahaha well thats good
        they’d find out you’re an undercover Twilighter
        yeah i had to go type it somewhere else and then just copy & paste it into the box
        quit changing crap Disqus!!!

  • Anonymous

    Any guy that deals with living or dead mice/rats without giving you a hard time about being a sissy is hawwwt.

    And Preacher Kellan, but that probably goes without saying. 

  • Anonymous

    I am just now getting a chance to comment, although I read (and drooled over) the post on Monday.  THANK YOU for making my Monday.  And yes, I think Kellan looks best in dark hair.   

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