Shiz happens: I catch up on Twilight stuff

Dear LTTers,

Dudes, So much happened while I was away… I was off having tea with the Queen and Clare (they have tea together every Tuesday. DUH), trying to rescue the lost squirrel in TomStu’s beard, trying to figure out which dumb picture Jackson would tweet of himself next and then the second I got back Ron Ron and Tay Tay decided to make out on national tv… so really I’m just now catching up. This is what I found out happened while I was away…

  • Kristen Stewart ‘s facial paralysis was miraculously healed and she is now able to use her smiling muscles. Miracles happen folks! In our time! See: nearly every picture from the last week.
  • Jackson filmed a movie in the state that birthed me called Cowgirls and Angels. So this is either a FanFic turned film or it’s a p0rn, right?

I dare you not to

  • I’m not ashamed to say that I Googled the Cullen’s address 420 Woodcroft Ave Forks, WA (420, heh) and can report back that some vampire trickery is afoot because Google says to try again later because it’s having trouble loading it. UH HUH!!!! RIGHT! WHAT aren’t they telling us?!!?! I need door-to-door directions to the Cullen’s stat! We’re onto you Cullens!

JACKson of hearts… GETS IT??!! GET IT?!

  • Jackson got beat up by a pack of wild monkeys while I was gone. They were pissed off he was disgracing the sacred a name of the monkey species with his bands music. They also thought him holding a “JACK” of hearts cards was super cheese ball. So they showed him who’s boss

Some Shiz Never Changes:

Kellan runs around the city of Los Angeles topless

Awwww Kellan thanks for making me feel like I didn’t miss too much and it was a pleasant surprise to come back and see Kristen at least acting like she was enjoying herself a bit more. And yes, I did have tea with the Queen and Clare… in totally unrelated news my mom and sister-in-law have asked me to stop calling them The Queen and Clare. Party poopers.

Moon is back ALLLRRIIIGHT! (sung to the tune of Backstreet’s Back)
Themoonisdown

Are you happy I’m back? I’m happy to be back… and it’s nice to see all the fun comments and new commenters we got from the break down of the trailer. Welcome! What else happened whilst I was gone? Has anyone seen Jackson “perform” recently… should I stop being so harsh? No. Ok.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

  • Linda

    Hey Moon,
    of course you shouldn’t stop being so harsh. And since I’m reading this from Germany and they don’t show American Idol over here I don’t know who the dude is Nikki is getting married to, is he really wearing bolo ties?
    Don’t you have a pic or something?

  • Linda

    Hey Moon,
    of course you shouldn’t stop being so harsh. And since I’m reading this from Germany and they don’t show American Idol over here I don’t know who the dude is Nikki is getting married to, is he really wearing bolo ties?
    Don’t you have a pic or something?

  • Anonymous

    Welcome back! My good friends just got back from the UK, too, and look what she brought me: http://tracitalynne.com/traci/?p=1130

    BAM! Hells yeah!

    • ChillinWithCullens

      Wow! That’s a friend to keep around for sure!!

    • Anonymous

      You must be pretty special to Katy.  Does the article explain how she got her hands of that fine product?

    • MariaCecilia

      Wonderful item, I am sure! But this does not go on to explain the exakt advantages of having Mr Pattinson “inside out” as it were? I am slightly confused. Does this in any way entail seeing him naked? If his entrails are involved however, I am no longer interested..I will merely wait for Breaking Dawn part 2. 
      (Did you notice my fake British accent? *wiggling eyebrows*)

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Fake accent noted and appreciated. It is “unauthorized” — doesn’t that always imply nudity?

        • Anonymous

          Ladies. What kind of person do you think I am? If there were nudie pics of Our Boy I would share. Except for the ones I take of  him, those are just for us, in our special alone time.

          Anyway, it’s one of those cheesy TigerBeat/SmashHits sort of books, with STATS! DID YOU KNOW ROBERT PATTINSON WAS BORN IN THE YEAR OF THE TIGER?!?!?!?! that sort of thing. It was 2 pounds at the newsagents. (I don’t have a “pounds” symbol on my keyboard and don’t feel like looking for it. Sorry.)

          Katy is, delightfully, our next door neighbor, and works for a British company. You should see the absurd British things she gets us. (Union Jack Coffee Mug?! Yes please!) I also got a horribly sweet and disgustingly delicious Cadbury Double Decker. It’s sugary chocolate coated sugar with sugar.

          Anyway, if there is anything ridiculous you would like to know about Robert Pattinson, I would be happy to look it up for you.

          • MariaCecilia

            What brand of underwear does he most often wear (statistically speaking of course)? And how does he take his tea? (I really, really need to know these things. Don’t ask.)

          • operarose

            brand of underwear: thrift, unwashed for 6 months
            tea: neat, with a splash of heine?
            (Don’t ask how I know these things.*)

            (…*I don’t know these things. But it’s not hard to guess.)

          • TeamSeth

            *You said heard what they were thinking?

          • Anonymous

            Surprisingly, I don’t think it covers underwear. Okay, actually I have a hard time reading it because it is just sort of embarrassing to read, but…okay, let me quote exactly here:

            Eyes: Blue-grey ( and dreamy! ) (ed. note: so not fucking kidding here.)
            Hair: Brownish-blond (and strokeable!)

            I feel like strokeability is very subjective. One man’s strokeability is another’s “too greasy”.  I feel the author is suspect and their objectivity is in question.

          • MariaCecilia

            Thank you! I will now proceed to ponder the strokeability of his (thrift) underwear depending on their state of unwash. My objectivity on the subject cannot be questioned. Statistical reports forthcoming. All in Excel of course.

          • TeamSeth

            Pie charts and 3-D graphs, please!

          • Anonymous

            Before I clicked on the link, I thought the “Robert Pattinson” was an autograph. Which is silly, because I know what Rob’s signature looks like *grimace*, I’m just going to pretend that most people know what Rob’s signature looks like now…..

          • TeamSeth

            I don’t know what it looks like. :)  ROB SIGNATURE VIRGIN!!!

          • Anonymous

            I don’t either! I don’t actually know any, you know, Facts. I haven’t learned any celebrity facts since I knew everything there was to know about Nick Rhodes ( he’s a GEMINI!)

          • TeamSeth

            I’ve researched Cuddley and Bewley… but Bewley’s info is sketchy. He doesn’t list his DOB anywhere. Much like David Slade’s height…

        • TeamSeth

          It may not imply nudity if it’s “unauthorised” …  England being more prude or something like that (eye roll, jury’s still out on that one)

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Ok, In the UK, unauthorized means Rob doing inappropriate things with trifles? Photos of Rob ordering coffee during tea service? Rob licking the walls at the Cadbury factory? Rob bathing in clotted cream?

          • Anonymous

            I am hoping that all of these scenarios become fan fic. Or better, scripts for films that Rob will then be in. I can’t wait for the clotted cream one.

          • TeamSeth

            “The schnozberries taste like schnozberries!” Rob exclaimed.
            “Oh Robbie, you’re just high!” TomStu giggled rolling his eyes and casting a quiet yet longing look at Rob. “Here, have this bit of Alpo to sober up.”
            “Where’d you get Alpo? We’re at the Cadbury factory!” Rob asked hesitantly.
            “My Stanley Cup beard, silly! Where do you think?” TomStu replied with a wickedly flirtatious grin. Rob shook his head and walked past TomStu. Even though the high hadn’t begun to wear off, he still couldn’t go back to TomStu. Not after his bout with Kristen. Not after that night at the Hen party in Dublin. Not after everything. No, TomStu was certainly off limits.
            Rob cast a glance back at him. TomStu tossed the Alpo flake into his mouth and gave him a wink. Rob evened out his breathing. Off limits, he thought. For now.

          • TeamSeth

            Alpen* (not Alpo)

          • natteringyeahrobber

            I didn’t fully get the Alpo reference, but it was just as funny as Alpen. Alpaca also would have worked.

          • TeamSeth

            alpen is a cereal in England that was part of a funny moment in season one of Peep Show (also british)

          • natteringyeahrobber

            I’ve got Alpen. They do sell it at my corner shop. :)

            And Peep Show. Only Season 1 though. I’ve seen some others on YouTube (post Season 2), plus some awesome Mitchell and Webb clips on @natteringyeahrobber:disqus YouTube. This one being one of my favorites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5RrGFBbbSY
             

  • Sisterpenguin

    Yay Moon,

    Welcome back! (though that sounds odd when I’m trapped in the UK – so technically you’ve left…).

    Never stop being harsh. It’s why we come here.

  • RachelB

    I didn’t google the address, but I DID check my calendar to see if the 13th of August is actually a Saturday… (it is!)

    • Anonymous

      Me too! Glad to know I’m not the only one. How fortuitous that the book date worked out for the film.

      • TeamSeth

        And now we know why they spaced it out as they did.

        • Anonymous

          Oooooooh. I take back the fortuitousness and blame Summit. Our favorite activity.

  • Brikpete

    Welcome back! Great recap. Just wondering if the Cullens knew the wedding date is my birthday, isn’t rude that I wasn’t invited. I swear some people! :)

    • MariaCecilia

      I bet you weren’t invited to the royal wedding either?? The nerve!!

  • Anonymous

    Glad you’re back Moon, excellent recap.

    Is it normal that I think that’s the hottest picture I’ve ever seen of Jackson?  And it looks like he’s flipping us off.  I don’t understand it, but I like it.

  • Anonymous

    Moon I hope you had time to fit in tea with Sarah Burton for wedding dress designs that you can pass on to Nikki. I am more excited about seeing her wedding dress than Bellars, I’m hoping she had the foresight to ‘aquire’ the Rosalie Eclipse one (with veil). Also cannot wait to see special wedding bolo.

  • Nelle

    Welcome back Moon! You define the true fangirl! You googled their address. I feel like such a fanfailure because I didn’t think of that!!

  • nocoolname

    Welcome back!  Always glad to have your hilarious perspective on all the happenings in the Twi-world.  :)

  • ChillinWithCullens

    Welcome home, Moonie! We missed ya!

  • ChillinWithCullens

    Dear KStew,

    So happy for you – finally cracking a smile! Don’t worry, dear. You can admit you actually like life. We won’t tell anyone. ;]  

    Sincerely,

    ChillinWithCullens

  • ladyofthemeadow

    My mind goes to the gutter when I see Kellan, sorry about that.

     

    I wonder why Kellan has to wear gloves for running. Maybe he’s planning to
    stop and do a few pullups on the top bar of the swings at the playground?

     

    Dear Kellan, running should involve one less piece of clothing, so take
    something off please. If you love the gloves, I guess we’ll let you take off
    your shorts and you can run in your Calvin undahhpants.

  • Goodgirlgoneplaid

    Welcome back MooGlad great post, I love catching up on the randoms of twi-world.
    Glad to hear you had your quota of tea whilst over here. BUT did you get a Snog? (ifyouknowwhatimsayingandithinkyoudo)*
    That picture of BooBoo- words fail me.

    *FroYo. Obvs ; )

  • Anonymous

    You seriously check the address on Google?  Ok, I had to do the same. I wonder how many others did as well.  No message or results :(

    I did drop the city and state and found this address in Georgia, Cali, Ontario (Canada that is) and Delware.  Maybe we should send fake wedding invite responses to them.

    Has Kellan ever let us down?

    I thought I would note Jackson’s other movies in the making: Truckstop, The Idiot, Aim High, Live at the Foxes Den. (I can’t contain my laughter)

    • Anonymous

      P.S. It’s good to have you back.  I think UC can exhale now. 

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Wow, he’s got quite a few in the pipeline. He released a few stills from Foxes Den yesterday – in one of them was him looking like Eric Packer’s boss or something. All suity and looking ready to pull a Ponzi scheme on someone.

      http://www.lionandlamblove.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/4274288_orig.jpg

    • TeamSeth

      I would want to send a fake wedding response.  That would be pretty awesome.

      And one to Jamie Campbell Bower (order right?) just because he was so harassed while in Baton Rouge

      • Anonymous

        Who is in on the cheese wheel/nipple clamps from the Swan/Cullen gift registry?

        • TeamSeth

          Only if we get the cheap kind… I have a wedding to pay for this fall.

  • MariaCecilia

    Welcome back, Moon – we missed you during this “eclipse” of yours! And you wouldn’t be you if you weren’t so darn sarcastic, no, well-elocuted, no, imaginative, no, honest and no-nonsense, no I give up, I don’t know for sure WHAT you are – but I love it anyway…
    We would now like to see you break down the (fictional?) wedding invitations to Nikki’s wedding – once we can be sure that this event takes place in the real world with a real man wearing a real tie. (?) AND if we can google it!

  • natteringyeahrobber

    I’m not sure I can come up with a comment for this video that just ended up in my twitter feed.

    http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2011/06/woman-cries-hysterially-over-breaking-dawn-movie-trailer/

    Except that I sorta of love it (note: watched it without audio).

    • Anonymous

      this is why we all hate to love Twilight.

    • Anonymous

      You need the audio to get the full effect.  Horrifying, except she actually makes some really good comments:  “Impossible?  No, you had sex, and now you’re preggers!”

      • TeamSeth

        Seriously.  Charlie even efforted the birds and bees chat with her by the kitchen sink, to which she promptly explained that Renee had been there done that and all was known and virginal. And in Twilight Renee was all, “Are you being safe?”  

        Apparently Beller doesn’t listen.  If the vampire/human divorce rate is rather low (assumingly because there aren’t any vampire/human marriages, not because the vampire eats their human spouse), then we have to look at the facts, or lack thereof. If there’s no evidence to show that humans don’t get pregnant from vampires, then one cannot assume it to be impossible.  When in doubt, wrap it up!

        Also, weren’t all the other human/vamp babies from Brazil? Maybe it can only happen in Brazil?

        • operarose

          Oooh, very scientific observation. You’re right, all of the hybrid babies we know of come from Brasil. We’ll have to follow up with this further. But first to get funding for our research.

          Maybe it’s the waterfall….or the ocean that Edward was standing waist-deep in. It preps him to conceive with a human?
          At the very least, Stephenie could just say that whenever people ask her the annoying questions about how Edward and Bella conceived.

          • Anonymous

            OMG YES. I think the warm water warms up the uh, you know. The little Edward swimmers. When things (ahem) are cold, they are sluggish. But Brazil and it’s warm water got them toasty  enough to fly!

          • TeamSeth

            That part of Brazil at least. It’s a giant country with lots of climates. However, the other perpetrator of vampire human conception (can we call him a rapist? I hate him.) lived among the rain forest, if I can recall correctly. Plus the maid (featured in JustGoWithIt’s avi) knew ALL about the “warmed up” ones…

            “In the country of Brazil, under a near constant cover of cloud and rain, there’s a region called Amazônia Legal. Population: 21,056,532. This is where vampire/human babies are conceived.”

          • Anonymous

            Query. Carlisle & Esme obs visited this island several times and I am assuming they used the same Rosario maid (or one of her family members in the know of the whole vampire thing). So why the hale didn’t ANYONE think to go ask her about Renameme? Fail Carlisle, a big shouty caps FAIL! Surely they have her on speed-dial ‘Rosario, Carlisle here. Will be arriving on island in 5 hours. Please stock fridge with sweet fresh blood.’ Rosario: ‘Yes Carlisle, I’ve also purchased some romantic beach torches….’ And did Edward read her mind, to lazy too go check right now.

            PS Apologies if this has already been discussed somewhere.

          • TeamSeth

            I believe Edward did read her mind because he translated her Portuguese for Bella.  But maybe he was just being all “I know Portuguese and you’re a stupid 18 year old who was pathetic enough to marry a dead guy”.  Who knows.  All I know is that he was NOT a fan of having a kid until he could hear what she was thinking. (Key point, the she was NOT Bella)  Uh oh. I’ve been drinking and am angry at fiance because he PROMISED we would watch True Blood season 1 episode 1 tonight and then ALL OF THE SUDDEN was “too buzzed and tired to be able to really enjoy the first episode.”  IT’S VAMPIRES!!! Drinking to enjoy is MANDATORY!

            UGH.  Some men just don’t get it.  I want my scotch. Hrmph.  now we have to watch Bill Maher and Sex and the City.  Like that’s going to give me what I really need (Eric Northman).  SO annoying.

          • Anonymous

            you need to drunk post more often. plz thanks.

          • TeamSeth

            Noted.

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Wait – he’s too drunk/tired for TB (NOT POSSIBLE!), but not too drunk/tired for Bill Maher? That makes no sense. Maher requires some level of sobriety. TB can go either way – it’s great sober or on the rocks. But on the same note, I pretty much have to put the damn DVD in the DVD player myself in order to get my husband to watch anything new. We’ve had Nurse Jackie on top of our TV for nearly 2 months now. He’s never in the mood for it (who is not in the mood about a snarky hospital nurse who is hooked on Percoset and Oxy?). Nurse Jackie and House really need to hook up. It would end horribly, but the beginning and middle would be hot. DH is hooked now. I just had to smear his face in it for 1 hour, but he’s hooked now.

          • TeamSeth

            “It’s great sober or on the rocks”
            This is my new saying now… thank you for it.

            Mr. Seth and I had an Eclipse Bella/Edward moment last night after he took a shower to sober up and I whined on LTT (not a leg hitch, no). It’s called a compromise. We watched both “Sookeh, what aahre you? You aahre not human.” AND “If asked if you tweeted a picture of your dick and your answer is anything but “No.”, then you tweeted a picture of your dick.”

            What was even better was that the opening to True Blood is explaining the American Vampire League and how vamps are “public but not quite equals” and it’s the cold hearted bitch who’s the spokesperson for the AVL ON BILL MAHER!!!!!!  It was epic.  I laughed, Mr. Seth laughed, and all was right in the world (besides all the awful things that are not right).

            Mr. Seth is a big fan of True Blood now. I never doubted it, the man thoroughly enjoys VampDi…this is just a step up from YA to MA… a really sexy times hot step up! ;)

          • TeamSeth

             Oh yeah, and we watched “Hop, Skip, and a Week” episode from season 6 of SATC (on demand on comcast right now), the one that ends with the post-it note breakup :D

      • TeamSeth

        Okay, actually watched it now that I’m home from work.

        That video is seriously epic.  “Stop crying Emma, you twat!”  “Oh, oh my, I didn’t notice THAT the first time ’round.”  “Oh, her hair piece is stunning, and to be fair he looks really nice in that suit–but I bet he looks even better out of it.” The wedding looks beautiful, good girl Alice!! “Oooh, waterfall sex!”  “Renesme?” SQUEEEAAAAAL “RENESMEEEEEEEEE!!!!  FUCK this movie’s gonna be good.” “I have to stop screaming and go and tidy my face up now.”

        So epic.  She should do “breaking it down” and we can edit out her crying and squeals…

        • The_OldOne

          In her defense, my inner enthusiastic is probably just as bad, I just never let it show on the surface like she does.

          • The_OldOne

            I mean enthusiast.

          • TeamSeth

            Oh my gosh! No defense needed!  I loved loved loved every second of that video.  I had to watch it like 5 times to understand everything, but well worth it!

      • natteringyeahrobber

        I tried the audio. I could only understand every 4th word or so, she was too shrill. Ears hurty. Maybe better with audio off?

        • TeamSeth

          She DOES prewarn you to turn down those speakers!  I love Emma.  Sigh.

    • Anonymous

      You need the audio to get the full effect.  Horrifying, except she actually makes some really good comments:  “Impossible?  No, you had sex, and now you’re preggers!”

  • Anonymous

    In other World Of the Crazy news: Are you guys watching the shiz go down on CDub’s Twitter? Some nut keeps asking for Rob and Kristen’s phone number, so eventually he tweets this:
    “Ok, fine. Rob: (213) 555-3498. Kristen: (310) 555-9812.”

    Clearly a joke, yes? WRONG. Seems people were yelling at him for giving the number out. Seems some people thought it was the real #. These people make me cry. I had no idea that most of the people I know irl/follow/make crazy comments to online were SUPERGENIUSES. Who are these other people, and don’t tell me they are kids because even the teenagers I know are just not…mentally deficient in this way. Or humorless? Have never heard a joke, or sarcasm?

    Please cloak me again in the snark. I don’t wanna look outside. *sniffles*

    • Anonymous

      If I had their real phone numbers I would probably do what I did with my grade school crush Brian. I would call him without announcing who I was (I got his number from the phone book), just say “Hi Brian” and start talking, and then we’d chat for like half an hour. I don’t know if he actually knew it was me (this is pre-caller ID), or if it just didn’t matter to him if he knew who he was chatting to or not, maybe he liked the anonymity too.

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Wonder if he posts about you on some chat board somewhere. Maybe every time the phone rings, even to this day, he sort of hopes it is you saying “Hi Brian.” Maybe he still can’t get over it. Maybe he doesn’t even bother answering the phone because it won’t be you.

        Too bad caller ID is everywhere. Gone are the days of whimsical anonymous phone calls.

        • Anonymous

          Yes. I am sure he is playing a sad lonesome tune on his saxophone (he played sax, I picked trombone so that I would sit next to him in band practice), wishin’ and a waitin’ and hopin’.
          He actually was really cute. I saw him walking down the street once when he was in his late teens years later, and he un-cuted himself by wearing some stiff matching dark wash denim pants and jacket number. But I bet he got hot again, because everyone has fashion miss-steps in their late teens. I went through many many awkward fashion times. Like when I went through a lesbian s&m sub raver phase. You know, short boy haircut, monotone corduroy and velvet outfits and a black patent leather sex collar. 

          • Anonymous

            Too bad my lesbian with sex collar phase didn’t cross over with my playing trombone in band time, because that sounds kind of cool. Much better than the frizzy mall hair and hideous band uniform that I was probably sporting at the time.

          • MariaCecilia

            Wow, I thought about (I stress THOUGHT about) getting one of those leather collars the other day, and I am no longer in my teens. Weird. What does that make me I wonder? A fan of Alice?

          • Anonymous

            But was your plan to wear it in public? And not just at a gay bar, but like out for coffee? Because that is what I did.
            That was a nice sex collar. I would probably find some way to use it if I still had it. I don’t know what became of it. After I stopped wearing it around it was just sitting in shoe box with junk, and it got discovered by a friend of my mom’s one day (I don’t remember what he was doing at my apartment, nothing interesting I’m sure), and it was really awkward and embarrassing because he gave me a “uh-huh” look when he saw it. And what can you say? So I probably donated it to a thrift store or something.

          • Anonymous

            One time I was wearing the collar, with a hand painted rainbow winged butterfly t-shirt. A friend of mine took me aside and was all “Sweety, you cannot wear those together.”

          • MariaCecilia

            And was her name Alice, by any chance?

          • Anonymous

            No, but close. (close being a meth head named Scott, that we affectionately-ish referred to as Skunt, naturally.

          • Anonymous

            PS why would I spell that Skunt, when Scunt actually has the word cunt in it? That makes no sense. I guess this has been my first opportunity to spell Scunt.

          • MariaCecilia

            Oh, I’m supposed to have a plan to go with the collar? I can’t just be spontaneous and get a collar? Geez, these life choices just keep getting harder all the time. I guess I have to give it a think then, before I proceed and put my foot (neck?) in it. :-)

        • Anonymous

          Yes. I am sure he is playing a sad lonesome tune on his saxophone (he played sax, I picked trombone so that I would sit next to him in band practice), wishin’ and a waitin’ and hopin’.
          He actually was really cute. I saw him walking down the street once when he was in his late teens years later, and he un-cuted himself by wearing some stiff matching dark wash denim pants and jacket number. But I bet he got hot again, because everyone has fashion miss-steps in their late teens. I went through many many awkward fashion times. Like when I went through a lesbian s&m sub raver phase. You know, short boy haircut, monotone corduroy and velvet outfits and a black patent leather sex collar. 

        • MariaCecilia

          Yes, caller ID is the ONLY thing keeping me from making late night drunken phone calls to Rob. Or Billy. Or Peter. Or anyone on the Twilight cast pretty much. Thank God for caller ID!

          • Anonymous

            Is that true? Like, you have their numbers but just don’t want them to know it’s you? I say go for it, baby.

          • MariaCecilia

            Reality check! If I did have those phone numbers,(Robsten strategy: “neither confirm nor deny”) would I not have shared them with you already, so we could make late night drunken calls together – in stereo?!!

          • natteringyeahrobber

            I think this is why Rob doesn’t have a Twitter account (or a public one). Can you imagine all the late night drunk Tweets that would show up? Or actually, the drunktweets would show up all day long given that he has drunk obsessors in every time zone on the planet. But it might be entertaining, if not overwhelming. 

            He could be like Jackson though and just never respond to anyone. Jackson is smart that way. 

      • MariaCecilia

        Hey, I went up to the cool senior I crushed on in high school outside the bowling alley and just started talking to him like I knew him, and what do you know, we end up going together three months later (and he ends up breaking my heart, but that is a whole different story)..Sometimes just going for it pays off. Sort of.  (Bellars should know!)

        • Anonymous

          I might have had a chance, he was a nice guy who either didn’t think to make a big deal of his good looks or didn’t know how hot he was. Of course my best friend at the time would have clawed my eyes out if she had known I had a crush on him, because she confessed her undying love for him on the school bus every morning & they had a “history” (of going steady in the 3rd grade).

      • Anonymous

        That is an excellent technique, actually. When I am feeling brave and/or drunk, I do this in real life, too. So if you ever read of some drunk idiot being tossed out of a celeb. club, that’s probably me!

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Holy crap. Did you notice the two different area codes? I think Cdubs is trying to expose Robsten as fake! Read between the lines. Different phone numbers….different lives. They cannot share a dog if he’s in 310 and she’s in 213.

      • Anonymous

        I did actually notice that. :) Can I tell you, my most favorite dreams in the world would come true if, 10 years from now when all this Twi-nonsense is over, Kristen would do an interview for her indie film that won her the Oscar, and come out to Barbara Walters or who the fuck ever, and confirm beyond a doubt that they never dated, not once, there was that one time in a trailer when they were really drunk but that was it. It would make my day.

        • natteringyeahrobber

          I so want Andy Rooney to be the one giving us the real R&K truth. He should be the one breaking that story, just because it would totally be the most absurd thing, ever.

          Also, I guess technically 310 and 213 are pretty close, so they could be dating. But the dog cannot be in 310 and 213 at the same time, it’s physically not possible. Unless they are on the border and one wonky leg is in 213 and the other in 310.

      • MariaCecilia

        I worry about that dog. A lot. The way those two keep hopping on planes, that poor dog will spend 50 % of his life quarantined, waiting to board. Or in kennels. Story of their love: waiting to board. Or in kennels.

        • TeamSeth

          Bear is so cute too! What a shame. People should really consider what’s best for the dog before getting one.

          Though… she’s loaded and can likely hire a dog sitter.

        • Anonymous

          I just assumed they left Bear with Mama Stew and her wolf dogs.  I can’t believe I know about a celebrity’s mother’s pets.  First hand embarrassed.

      • Anonymous

        those area codes are both L.A. area….213 is a really old code…and when they ran out of numbers, they created 310….

        • TeamSeth

          Geez, do you remember when you didn’t have to use an area code at all?!

          • Anonymous

            It is so complicated now….dial 1, the area code, just to call my mom across town! funny….

        • natteringyeahrobber

          but still they are separate numbers. so CW is telling us they are not  together. in a very roundabout, subversive way. :)

          • Anonymous

            right, but who uses a land line? not two travelling actors…chances are they do live in the same house, different cells…I’m just throwing it out there….

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Defense: If they live together, naturally they went cell phone shopping together, correct?
            Witness: What? That is absurd logic.
            Defense: Clearly you have never forced your significant other into a cell store with you. It is very common. You can google it.
            Witness: Well, now that you mention it, yes, I have.
            Defense: Let the record show that witness agrees.
            Defense: And the cell phone company would give them the same area code since they are in the same plan.
            Witness: Yes, that would make sense, yes.
            Defense: So if they do not have the same area code, they are not in the same plan and thus they do not cohabitate. And thus do not share a dog. Witness: OK. You’re right. Defense: We’re done, your honor.

          • Anonymous

            I love this natteringyeahrobber! very well put

          • Anonymous

            right, but who uses a land line? not two travelling actors…chances are they do live in the same house, different cells…I’m just throwing it out there….

      • TeamSeth

        Isn’t 555 the standard fake number code?

        Also, I have a 407 number but live in 503 area code because there’s no real need to change my cell phone number since everyone can dial free long distance these days. As long as Rob’s code doesn’t require 011 44 before it, then we’re all good.

        • Anonymous

          Yep, 555 are fake numbers specifically designed for movies, etc.  So everyone should know that those numbers are totally fake.  Which goes back to MNS’s original point about people freaking out being dumb.

  • j9 necessary

    Oh…. how I miss the “used to be everyday” snarkiness that was UC and Moon!  I almost wept for joy when I read that you were “breaking it down” for the trailer from BD….YaY!!! And then today Moon does it again with “Shiz happens….”

    Is it just me or am I the only one beginning to feel all the goodness/excitement/tingling (twss) that was Twilight fading away..who the hell ever thought that 17 months between movies was a good idea…damn you Summit!

    Thank you, thank you, thank you Moon and UC for making me laugh again…now… I need to go find my pocket Edward and give him a big hug and kiss…..

  • operarose

    Welcome back, Moon! It’s fun to have tons of Twi stuff for you to snark about. Very refreshing after a dry spell.

    Seeing the pic of Kellan (um…ew? sweaty topless men with gloves don’t do it for me, no matter how big his biceps are) reminded me that there was supposed to be that movie with him and Mandy Moore coming out. I googled it and it doesn’t seem to be in theatres (did it already come in & go straight out to DVD? guess so…) and got a whopping 0% on Rotten Tomatoes (in other words, it’s completely rotten). Ouch. He needs Big Daddy to go work for him and maybe Big Daddy can start demanding more in the way of better roles for him.

  • operarose

    Welcome back, Moon! It’s fun to have tons of Twi stuff for you to snark about. Very refreshing after a dry spell.

    Seeing the pic of Kellan (um…ew? sweaty topless men with gloves don’t do it for me, no matter how big his biceps are) reminded me that there was supposed to be that movie with him and Mandy Moore coming out. I googled it and it doesn’t seem to be in theatres (did it already come in & go straight out to DVD? guess so…) and got a whopping 0% on Rotten Tomatoes (in other words, it’s completely rotten). Ouch. He needs Big Daddy to go work for him and maybe Big Daddy can start demanding more in the way of better roles for him.

  • Anonymous

    Welcome back Moon! How else would I see that awkward photo of BooBoo with the grand total of two comments, both of which say that he has got nothing on taytay (and no, I didn’t write either of them). Isn’t he still all of fifteen, or something creepy like that?

  • Anonymous

    not to make a hot fuss, but does anyone else feel like Nicki is rushing into an engagement? she has known this dude only  a few months….

    • MariaCecilia

      But forever begins now… ;-)

    • TeamSeth

      Nikki likes a rush. That’s why she’s the default scape goat for everything that wasn’t Summit’s fault.

      She’s got that the shoot then ask questions mentality… except with men and sex.   (When in doubt, wrap it up!)

      Awww, Nikki, I kid!  But yes, 2 months is very quick.  However, I have a theory that life in Hollywood is so different from the common folk life that things can take much longer or much shorter and still be normal.

      • Anonymous

        yeah teamseth….and she obsessed over him while watching american idol all season….she totally fangirled before she ever even met him…..it makes me a little uneasy perhaps that nikki is settling down….first she quits smoking, now this!

        • TeamSeth

          It’s like she becoming a mature adult.  Summit better belly up and prepare for our attacks coming double now that Nikki’s too normal to blame.

  • TeamSeth

    Here’s one thing the over-analyzing gals didn’t catch…  the wax seal on the envelopes is the Cullen crest.  If that doesn’t clarify who’s really throwing the wedding, then I don’t know what does.

    “Familial drama” my ass. They’re vampires!

  • Anonymous

    Ah, the love is back!  Was at the dentist today and got all excited when I saw the Entertainment mag. from last month with Breaking Dawn on the cover.  Thank goodness the fun has returned!

    • TeamSeth

      I think the latest rag mag I saw said KStew and Rob broke up.  I didn’t even know they were dating!

      • Anonymous

        ha ha. I read some Breaking Dawn stuff that was like, “Robert Pattinson, and his co-star and girlfriend Kristen Stewart” and then the next paragraph is like, “when will they just say they are together?”
        Honey, if the publicist doesn’t say it, it hasn’t happened and is none of your biz-shit.

        • TeamSeth

          Lies.

          About which part, I dunno, but lies! (Oh tell me sweet little lies! –like RPattz’s back is actually in the film and not a sexy back double)

          • Anonymous

            It’s totally his back, baby. He worked out with Taylor…for hours on end. Two sweaty men, bonding on the freeweights. Cheering each other on, their brotherly bond turned to love. They tried to resist, but one day, in the showers…he just couldn’t tear his eyes away. “Taylor…”, he gasps, “you’ve grown pubes. You’re a man now.”
            Chocolate brown eyes, melting. In a choking whisper, “Not yet.”

          • Anonymous

            I really could have used a warning before that one. My brain ceased function momentarily in self-defence. Melty chocolate brown eyes chocolates – no there’s something to market.

          • Anonymous

            sorry baby. sometimes I just have to let the love flow. Even the love that dare not speak its name.

          • Anonymous

            That’ ok. I have so much admiration for the way your brain thinks.

          • Anonymous
          • TeamSeth

            Because an unnamed production source is considered proper evidence. Pshaw!

          • Anonymous

            dude. they did it. It’s true. Roblor forever!!!

            heh. It’s like Trogdor. heh. I’ve had drinks. Trogdor: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/786970/

  • TeamSeth

    Off topic, but about BD1 trailer:

    I just rewatched it (for the second time–be impressed) and noticed that Bella is wearing only a wedding band in the scene where she’s realizing that having sex can lead to pregnancy. (“Impossible for a plain country bumpkin and a prince to join in marriage! Impossible, for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage! And three white mice will never be three white horses, such faux de fum and fiddley dee of course is, impossible!”) So there’s not actually been a replacement for the hideous first diamond that my grandmother would NOT wear even if she was still alive.  Oh well.  Oddly enough, on my bus line (and possibly whole city) it seems to be a trend to only wear your band and not the engagement ring. Portland and Forks, not so far apart! (5.1 hours driving)

    Sorry for the random Cinderella outburst, but it’s rogders and hammerstein, what can a girl do? You hear a word, it triggers a reaction… like “gin & tonic” making me sing “sippin’ on gin and juice LAID BACK”

    • TeamSeth

      dang it. now I want a sapphire tonic. grrr.

    • Anonymous

      Do you know how hard it’s going to be for me not to burst into Rogers and Hammerstein in the middle of the theatre when that scene comes on now?  You are responsible.  Therefore you’ll have to drive 8 hours to see it with me and restrain me from singing :)

      • TeamSeth

         You’re in BFE Washington state, right?  Can I wait until the weather is crappy in Portland again to come?  Today is perfect and I never want to leave :)

        • Anonymous

          Spokane. And it’ll be crappy both here and there come November. We frequently spend Thanksgiving in Cannon Beach… I’m trying to figure out an excuse to come south a week early!

          • TeamSeth

            Cannon Beach?  As in where they shot the La Push scenes in Twilight film… :D  Do you hang out at the little town there?  There’s a pub there with excellent fish and chips.

          • Anonymous

            And where they shot Goonies. I love the little town there, but haven’t been in about 10 years– grew up in the NW, but have been gone since college until this winter– so I’m behind on the fish and chips situation :)

    • Anonymous

      You are forgiven for the musical outburst, especially if you promise one day we can learn all the words to all the Snoop songs and do a drunk karaoke medley.

      • TeamSeth

        When is that wedding?

        • Anonymous

          We should rent ourselves out as Best Wedding Guest Ever.

    • operarose

      It’s common here for people to not wear their engagement ring. I think only certain parts of N.America actually do wear their engagement rings AND wedding bands. Most of the rest of the world doesn’t seem to (correct me if I’m wrong. just a casual observation)

      In fact my inlaws don’t wear them at all (weird, eh?) and so I am sure that I seemed like the most spoiled girl in the world when I not only insisted on wearing my engagement ring all of the time but also wanted a matching, sparkly wedding band to go with it. but you only live once. (unless you’re a Cullen, in which case you live “forever”.)

      • Anonymous

        I didn’t even get an engagement ring (oh, college. you and your limited income.). My mom has a Yowza awesome one, and because of that, she only wears it sometimes, because she is as spastic as I am and would lose it.

      • TeamSeth

        Technically living forever is still only living once. (though they are “reborn” as vamps… so we could debate that)

        I love my engagement ring and will wear it always. We’re getting our bands on Saturday and mine is just going to be little and plain because the sparkly ones didn’t work with my ring (sad face), BUT that’s just fine because I’m just like Gollum when it comes to my engagement ring and I’d rather only have that to focus on as far as the precious goes…

         

        • operarose

          nice! my wedding band isn’t that flashy, very subtle, because like you I wanted the engagement ring to be the feature! preeecious

          • TeamSeth

            (strokes diamond and admires the light prisms it casts around the room)

            (imitates Michael Sheen):
            Theys will takes it, the precious. The hobbitses. The fat one. Theys will takes it. NO! The precious.

            My precious.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BHIUPU77VUXFKF6TWKIYYYD4WM madhu

    Writing letters to their representatives, is educational. 
    They learn something.
    Letters

    • TeamSeth

      This is true. My representatives wrote me back and said that they supported all the same liberal things I support and that they voted the way I hoped they did.  Yay!

  • Ms. J

    Hey Moon!!  Nice to have you back.  Hope you had a good time.  Have you seen some of the fan reactions to the Breaking Dawn trailer?  This is my fave.  Sweet British chick goes on for like 7+ minutes crying the whole time.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1vqmILSKfew
    Hope the link works.

  • Phadoralynn

    Moon,

    Glad your back Im surprised you have so much information about everyone. Also don’t be harsh tell it like it is!! if it sucks say so they have the right to hear from their most loyal fans and friends… right!? I think so so say it because I sure want to know as well lol! 

  • Arian Nicole

    I Love all of u guys u are my idol all of u do a great jod

  • Arian Nicole

    Moon im Gladys ur back now i see u and fall in Love Again .

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