Bella gets an Ann Taylor credit card, Edward loves the microwave & Jacob has Moobs

Dear Breaking Dawn,

We saw this:


and just couldn’t remain silent:

The one where they’ve given up:

UC: I haven’t had feelings about a poster this strongly since the last time we broke one down where slutty “Wal-mart Cami” Bella came into our lives. I miss those days… She looks so… grown up here. This is Ann Taylor Bella. And I don’t mean Ann Taylor Loft- that’s too hip… I mean old school, business suit Ann Taylor
Moon: And she has the old lady bouffant hair to prove it- and shes made the transition into old married lady too. only wearing her wedding band and not that the “cheese grater” ring as one of our readers calls it
UC: right. She’s given up- clearly.. Old & married.. time to just do whatever with her hair and… did her breasts grow? Did she put on the “I got married and gained 15 pounds” look?
Moon: its all the “Italiano” the Cullens are cooking her, and because she’s PREGGO. DUH! eating cartons of eggs in a single sitting will do that. and i bet blood is high calories too
UC: that’s true…. it probably is, but seriously… can we agree that whoever styles these “official” photoshoots is the worst ever? think it’s the neice of some summit exec.. and that’s why she hasn’t been fired after all these years?
Moon: yes i whole heartedly agree who ever is styling these is crazy and / or blind.
And since we’re on the subject of old marrieds…. can we say that Rob has also given up? He has a pot belly. Look what shes holding on to! when did Edward cullen get a lil extra cushion in the front???
UC: He was sneaking eggs too maybe on Isle Esme, or maybe Jake gave him what Edward thought were “roids” but instead were just protein bars full of fat & sodium. Taylor’s getting more jacked while Edward fattens up. He wants Bella to stray…. well, until he notices her new wardrobe & huge new hair
Moon: he pulled the ol’ swedish nutrition bars trick from Mean Girls on Edward. He’s gonna send Edward valentines carnations and make Bella wonder what going on. then she comes to the reservation and leaves Edward for Jacob
UC: yep. Does it look like Bella & Edward hit up the same salon in Rio? Got the same exact hair color?
Moon: Yes, the hair color they asked for is “Jacob’s benetint lip stain red” It seriously all matches
UC: haha or some intern went a little crazy with photoshop. again- another neice of a Summit exec

The one where we reminisce Eddie

Eddie CullenUC: you know what I miss in this image though? Eddie. Remember him? Couldn’t they have photoshopped Eddie here? I mean, I guess it doesn’t make sense with the story….
Moon: HAHAHAA . where’s Eddie’s van?
UC: OH- they could’ve shopped Nessie- creepy Nessie with an expression that says something like “watch out bitches. Don’t hug each other’s love handles too tight. I’m gonna to ruin it all soon enough”this is such a great post
Moon: HAHA

Moon: Solomon Trimble gave her some of his hot oil treatments
Calliope: so true. right before he got shipped off to a different tribe because he wasn’t studly enough.”
HAHAHA

UC: hahahah. Poor Solomon. and also true:

Calliope: I think imaginary/controlling/crazy mind of Bella- Edward shall be called Eddie. Because Edward wouldn’t haunt your thoughts. But a dude named Eddie- definitely would”

hahaha… UGH.. i miss when it was fun like this!!! DEAR SUMMIT & TWILIGHT : RED HAIR is LESS FUN than EDDIE

UC: Eddie is in the dark corners of your room- under your bed
Moon: Eddie’s the guy who comes up when you search convicted fellons/rapists in your neighborhood on the internet”

Eddie Cullen Van

Click for lols

UC: Look how fun all this was! Eddie might have creeped in your room when you were sleeping and peeked in on you in the shower, but at least he was FUN. ANN TAYLOR is not fun!

UC: Eddie drives a van
Moon: with no windows. Eddie’s the guy who rips tags off sofa cushions”

Moon: married chubby Edward is not fun
UC: I’ll take cigarette burns for “Fun” with Eddie over Edward’s married flub anyday
Moon: Jacob has some serious MOOBS- man boobs
UC: he DOES. is he feeling the pregnancy along with Bella?

UC: [Look at Edward] All up in Jacob’s grill. Eddie likes to get behind moon. Likes it from Behind Moon
Moon: THATS WHAT I SAID
UC: Eddie changed the phrase to “That’s what Eddie said” cuz he’s a perv”

I LOVE US
Moon: HAHAHAAHAH!! Now Edward just likes it from the microwave or the drive through window
UC: hahhaha
Moon: he doesnt even know what behind is unless its behind a hungry man dinner
UC: or behind the couch- where sometimes the remote falls.. He’s too lazy to get it so he just buys another remote. he has a closet with like 35 remotes just in case
Moon: he doesn’t care about cars anymore, just remotes and when mcd’s is bringing back the mcrib again
UC: Breaking Dawn Edward was actually modeled after Big Daddy. they had to- it was written in Taylor’s contract

Thomas Kinkade for Twilight?

Moon: its also like this calendar is like three different pictures put together: old married Bella and Edward, Jacob on a box in his new lipstick and a thomas Kinkade painting as the backdrop
UC: Maybe they were thinking of the Twilight Moms for this one? Giving them something classy enough to blow up as an 18×20 and hang above their fireplace mantel for once?
Moon: and “16 months wall calendar” where else are you going to put it??? unless you’re like me and it would say “16 month CLOSET calendar” that will stay on the Rob/Edward picture for like 7 months
UC: I love my Twilight closest calendars. I have at least 3- it’s approximately July 2009, October 2010 & February 2011 right now in my closet
Moon: my Rob calendar is stuck on april because june is a particularly not great month- his mouth is half open. I pretend the months of bad pictures just don’t happen in my Rob calendar year. I’d also like to openly admit that this calendar is hanging next to my framed mini movie posters, one signed by David Slade and one from new moon, and there may or may not be a Jacob barbie doll!! MAN i feel better after saying that
UC: HA HA~!!!! is this a new display since you moved?
I don’t remember seeing this!!

Eddie is bothered

Moon: hopefully breaking dawn movie poster will give me something better than the thomas kinkade married couples picture
it’s in the closet, around the corner. you’d really have to step in there and take a look
UC: when i visit next, after the bathroom, it’s the first place I’ll go in your home. (I’m just anticipating I’ll have to pee. I know myself )
Moon:
I’d like to make an edit on the 3 pictures that made up this calendar… this is actually the headshot Jacob used for his audition for rupaul’s drag race- showing off his mad lipstick and make up game along with his ability to create fantastic man boobs
UC:
DUDE…. Edward looks like Jimmy Fallon there… Edward is bothered!
Moon: SNACKLISH! HUNGERECTOMY! Pumpkins are just dumb fat squashes!!!
UC: Eddie is bothered! He wants his van in this poster!

I feel like such an old man reminiscing about the good ol’ days as much as I do lately, but couldn’t we get a little more for the first really official still from this movie? They better make it up to us!!!

Love,
UnintendedChoice and theMoonisDown

What do you think? Edward looking a little flubby here? Is Bella’s wig the WORST (well, no.. not the worst) How many ‘roids do you think Jacob takes a day (and by Jacob I, of course, mean the real-life person Taylor)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • Linda

    Girls, I can really count on you to make my day. And you see everything just the way I do. I do think it is the worst Bella wig, I mean come on what do they think about? That we all want to see them all grown up? And even if we would want to, we wouldn’t want to see them go old school. No we want them to be forever young and beautiful – and I mean beautiful. I mean this really sucks!

    • Alice_NaA

      Oh hai! Looks like we are both not working today :p

      • Linda

        Yeah, I am working or at least I should be. But I’m in Germany.

        • Alice_NaA

          Oh Sorry! I was mistaking you for someone else :p.

          • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

            HAHA like

          • Notanaddikt Bella

            Haha, I still use my old alias, but thanks for sorta outing me. :-p

      • Moon

        awwwwwww its these ladies!!! :)

    • ChillinWithCullens

      Yah Bella’s wig here is pretty terrible. If you look along her forehead, you can see her real hair is an entirely different color! I guess The Niece didn’t catch that during her spectacular photoshop job…

      • TeamSeth

        Maybe it’s the breaking dawn coloring and the rest of time their hair looks normal?

        • TeamSeth

          and by breaking dawn I meant the pink of the sun.

    • http://adriennetrafford.blogspot.com adrienne

      I agree.  I don’t know how they (whoever makes these calendars) manage to make so many attractive people so unattractive and yet they do it every time!

  • Linda

    Girls, I can really count on you to make my day. And you see everything just the way I do. I do think it is the worst Bella wig, I mean come on what do they think about? That we all want to see them all grown up? And even if we would want to, we wouldn’t want to see them go old school. No we want them to be forever young and beautiful – and I mean beautiful. I mean this really sucks!

  • ChillinWithCullens

    Ha! Love this post ~ you ladies are in fine form this morning!!

  • ladyofthemeadow

    There is so much good stuff in today’s LTT. Thomas Kincade – bwahahaha, I almost sprayed my morning coffee all over my desk.

    Since when did Edward get a little sun? He looks spray-tan coffee coloured. I miss pale cafeteria Edward. And where did his widow’s peak come from? He’s on his way to looking like Eddie Munster or Steven Segal.

    And Bella… when did she start getting French manicures? That is so not “Wal-mart Cami” Bella. I think Alice must have given her a Victoria’s Secret Miraculous Push Up Bra for her stagette.

    • Moon

      “stagette” so much better than bachelorette. when i marry rob i’m going to have a “stagette” instead.

      • Anonymous

        When you marry a Brit I think you have to have a “hen party”. :)

        • ladyofthemeadow

          Yup that’s the terminology across the pond.

          I’m sure Kate’s was impressive.

          • TeamSeth

            The “hats” were impressive, I’m sure. ;)

  • Alice_NaA

    Bella and Edward look like they are about to make their debut on Wisteria Lane. Jacob is the mechanic who fixed their Buick and who will start an affair with one of the ladies.

    Srsly: What is Summit thinking??? (again)

    • Rob’s slow mo’ strut

      Wisteria Lane? Bahahaha, funniest comment ever!
      Jacob could totally be that lawn boy who had an affair with Eva Longoria’s character. 

      • Notanaddikt Bella

        And then starts a troubled teen drama relationship with Julie.

  • Ambella

    The “movie calander” is always better, ya know the one with pictures from the actual movie and not the “niece’s handy work”. I seem to remember the “twilight” one being better…but thats been a while ;-)

  • Nelle

    And what’s with Robward’s Bela Ligosi widows peak??

  • Linda

    I’m kind of getting worried about the movie. What am I going to tell
    people why I am so in to this – when they give us pics like this.
    It’s kind of embarissing!

    • natteringyeahrobber

      Making us feel shameful has worked so well for Summit in the past. To the tune of millions and millions. Why stop using that formula? Maybe all of us like the shame? Maybe they are just tapping into our deranged psyches…they know how bad we need to feel bad, and they give it to us. And we just come back for more.

      Brilliant. 

      • Anonymous

        We must be glutton for punishment.

      • Moon

         “Making us feel shameful has worked so well for Summit in the past. To the tune of millions and millions.”

        HAHAHAHAAHAA truth! we eat this shiz up cause we love it no matter what. MAN they have our number.

      • The Old one

        It’s kind of a dominant/submissive relationship:  Yesss! Humiliate me more!  Ugly wig . . . ah, yess, more!  Fat Edward . . . mmm, baby, you know what I like!  Beige vampire clothing . . . ah, ah, right there! Yess!!

    • Anonymous

      *snort*

      This nothing. Just you wait until the whole grown man Jacob imprinting on baby Nessie thing comes to a head.

      Summit’s niece is sure to make us cringe and run for cover making it seem creepy instead of explaining it’s completely benign.

      Woohoo. Can’t wait. *sigh*

      • Stacey

        I can’t wait for THAT calendar! At least 5 different months of pictures of Jacob/Taylor cuddling a baby while looking at her with adoration. I am guessing after seeing this calendar the shots will be more creepy and less sweet.

        They do need at least one of Edward in the background scowling and Bella holding a shovel in a threatening manner.

        • Anonymous

          lmao!

          That would be EPIC!

        • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

          I cannot wait. I hope they’re as good as this 

          • Anonymous

            I think I might be scarred for life. Thanks for that ;)

          • The Old One

            Uh, is he naked in that picture?  Say no.

        • TeamSeth

          With the thought bubble “AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?!!!!!!!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andreia-Santos/100001602046630 Andreia Santos

    Okay, it’s official: The crush, attraction, whatever, that I feel for Robert is officially over. Sad day I know, but I just can’t stand by the hair colour. It’s killing me that Edward and Bella have the same hair colour. Killing me

    • Anonymous

      Maybe it’s just the Thomas Kinkade lighting

      • The_OldOne

        Sadly, in every official and unofficial clip or picture I’ve seen so far for BD, Edward’s hair is this dark color.  I DON’T LIKE IT ONE BIT, SUMMIT!  WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR HAIR DEPARTMENT!!  Sorry, ranting.  But each movie was worse than the one before.

        • Anonymous

          BRONZE! BRONZE! M*THER F*CKING BRONZE!
           
          That is all.

          • Anonymous

            As we kissed I hungrily grabbed handfuls of his Feria darkest red hair. It still had that freshly dyed smell. I loved that smell. It reminded me that I had an appointment for a set and blow-out at the hair salon.

          • Moon

            “a set” aha hahaa bella is my grandma now

          • TeamSeth

            I think I just peed my pants a little.

          • Anonymous

            YEAH! DAMMIT!!

            Do we need to have someone checked for color blindness?

            Edward sporting the Carrot Top ‘do for BD II has become a realized fear.

            #Bothered!

    • Anonymous

      They’ve taken the whole couples matching/dressing alike to a whole new level.

    • Anonymous

      Oh girl. There’s always Nude Pie Covered Cosmopolis Rob.

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Lol. And LOL at trying to give up on Rob, good luck, especially with photos like this floating around.

        • Anonymous
          • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

            no one!!

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Someone on LTR noted that those red pants look…different. Did they shrink? Like, a lot? Also a few shades lighter? I am wondering who has been doing his laundry (himself?). Whatever, he can walk around with tiny pink pants and pie in his hair and still look entirely do-able. That is the power of Rob.

          • TeamSeth

            They’re just turning back into the mustard that they started as.  C-Dubs always wins.

          • Anonymous

            OMG I thought that exact thing! Maybe they bought the mustard pants and the maroon pants at the same place? Crazy Celebrity Clothes That Somehow Still Look Awesome Barn?

          • Anonymous

            Srsly! something is just not the same about those pants! How many pairs of red pants can I guy have though?!

          • Anonymous

            Hahaha! “RedPantsofHotness” with the added bonus of…the beanie!! You can never lose the attraction :)

  • Anonymous

    moobs – hahahaha!

    Who is that couple?  I don’t recognize them.

  • operarose

    I couldn’t get past their facial expressions in order to analyze their outfits/physiques. 

    Edward looks like a petulant child refusing to get his school photo taken, who, in his grumpy state, was quarreling with Bella as they were being positioned for the photo. She, having eaten a carton of eggs, was fighting off a rather severe case of gas and therefore was only 1/2 listening to his complaints about her “unsexy Oprah Twimommy hair/outfit,” and was trying to convince Jacob to hand her over one of his “happy pills” so she might forget about the stomach discomfort and the peculiar tightness of the Ann Taylor business suit shell as a 14-year-old summer Summit intern positioned her wig with rather shaky hands. Another Summit intern combed “bronze” – it looked more like red – color through Edward’s locks, forcing them to stand on end with an unusual stiffness (TWSS) and clash horribly with the faux sunset backdrop that had been used for a Summit “team building event” a couple months back: a production of Fiddler on the Roof. Meanwhile, Jacob’s happy pills were once again failing (WAS he supposed to be taking them WITH the steroids, he wondered?) as he lurked in the background, fondling his knife (TWSS) and wondering if he could finally end this once and for all. But before he could decide – *snap* – the Summit Niece had taken the photo. 

  • Anonymous

    Dear niece,

    Thank you for giving the general adult populous some more ammunition to tease grown women like myself about loving Twilight. They were running short on new fodder there for awhile. I’m happy to know someone is watching out for them.

    TJE

  • The_OldOne

    OK, so you’re really going there mentioning the ‘roids?  Since you brought it up.  I’ve wondered about that for a long time.  That look in Taylor’s eyes when interviewers asked him how he was able to bulk up so fast between the premiere of Twilight and the start of New Moon filming.  He said, “I would have done whatever it took to prove I could do the part.”  Somehow I don’t think meat patties are the whole story.  And I can see Big Daddy having no problem doing whatever it took, too.  Sorry.  Too bad LTT lost the thumbs-down, cuz this comment deserves it.

    • ladyofthemeadow

      I totally agree. I’m sure he used steroids. No one bulks up that fast. The moobs are evidence too.

      It sounds like Big Daddy’s the one with ‘roid rage, though.

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      Oh Mr. Choice says, and I believe anything he says especially when he tells me I don’t look fat in these pants, that he FOR SURE has roids.. no way he got that big that fast…. 

      • ladyofthemeadow

        Ha! Manofthemeadow says the same thing: Taylor did ‘roids for sure. And he tells me my butt “looks tiny in those pants” so he’s consistently right about stuff. Ha. Wish the latter was always true.

        • Anonymous

          ‘meat patties’ code word for ‘roids’

          • TeamSeth

            That explains why he kept saying he’d carry around a bag of meat patties, and yet we never saw it.  Because they were small and in his pocket.

          • Anonymous

            Are those your “meat patties” in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

          • TeamSeth

             Always bring a bananer to a party!

          • cosi bella

            ooh yeah – steroid seculation I’ll chime in….remember Taylor’s strange “puffy face” in new moon kitchen scene?  Either roids or he’d just been making out with someone with a severe stubble problem…

  • blackgirltwihard

    There was definitely some Loretta
    Lynn/ Elvira (late night scary movie host) channeling going on re: the hair…not
    that I mind, I have good memories of both….and Bella too…but ummmm… #compartmentalization

    SMH @ the little niece intern!!!
     

  • http://twitter.com/CvrdinFeathers ~E

    OME! I love y’all’s posts! They make me giggle. 

    But yes, this poster needs to be redone, with neked Eddie & Bella (pre-mom), preferably in the “post-coital bliss” state and covered in feathers & bruises.  #justsayin

    And we all know Jakie is not really necessary anymore, so can we get rid of ‘roid boy and just elaborate more about Isle Esme?

    • Anonymous

      Or you could have one with a close up of Taylor’s face in shock and disgust (as he sees Bella his knocked up). That would make a good poster, given that he could make a face that wasn’t intense squinty eyed rage, I’m sure he could.

      • ladyofthemeadow

        Sarcasm alert:

        Yeah, and he’d be even more squinty-eyed mad after he gets “the talk” (about sex). Don’t they do it in grade 6?

        (Sarcasm off)

        Oh Taylor, you will always be young… and the butt of our jokes.

  • Anonymous

    Yes to all of this. This is impossible to ignore. A little consistency between movies isn’t that much to ask for either. Bella’s hair was already screwed with thanks to the mullet and consequent wigs, so I am used to that at least. I understand that he probably had shorter hair to work with for this movie, we haven’t seen crazy hair Rob in a while. But whoever decided on that color…….maybe the movie will come out and none of it will be very noticeable, or it will somehow work, or they are just joking us out with these promos. Or it will be hilariously bad, and I’ll spend half the movie laughing inappropriately.

    • TeamSeth

      “A little consistency between movies isn’t that much to ask for either.”

      This.

      • Anonymous

        You know, I don’t know a lot about “the biz”, but I am fairly certain that continuity is an actual real life job.

        • TeamSeth

          Yes, it is.

          • Nelle

            And any of us at LTT would be better at it than whoever works for Summit!

          • TeamSeth

            Clearly Rob would look exactly the same from one scene to another and one film to another.  Maybe a hickey here or there.

  • Anonymous

    Mom Jeans Bella, because she’s not a woman anymore: http://www.hulu.com/watch/10333/saturday-night-live-mom-jeans

  • Rob’s slow mo’ strut

    “I pretend the months of bad pictures just don’t happen in my Rob calendar year.”
    Oh my God, you guise! Stop it, I need to study! Although talking about Edward’s pot belly and Jacob’s lipstick is way more fun than solving math problems :D 

    “he pulled the ol’ swedish nutrition bars trick from Mean Girls on Edward.” <— quite possible. Since Jacob runs like a girl, I'm assuming he's mean too like Regina George. Maybe she suggested the man boobs implants 'cause there's no way those are real. 

    Or, after finding out he knocked up Bella, Edward went on binge eating ..err hunting for mountain lions? Maybe now he's gotten rid of ALL the lions in the entire Pacific Northwest? And I'm assuming he managed to do so without staining his crisp, white (sleeveless) shirt? 

    Thanks for the laugh ladies.

    • Moon

      “And I’m assuming he managed to do so without staining his crisp, white (sleeveless) shirt? ”

      OH GOD the white sleeveless shirt… memorieeeeessss!!! thank you for that. now lets ponder the oatmeal colored sweater…. yes.

      • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

        i can’t believe we haven’t photoshopped rob into a sleeveless white T yet.. 

        brb.. you’ll never guess what i’m about to do….

        • TeamSeth

          Bake some oatmeal cookies?  I had that thought after reading Moon’s comment too… oatmeal chocolate chip. mmm

  • Anonymous

    I feel sad for myself. My future self. My future self that will wish I had purchased and stockpiled all the worst most embarrassing Twilight items to look through and laugh at long after the movies are through. Living in the present isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.

  • Jerzeylisa

    Whaaat?! When LTT appeared on my computer today I assumed the picture was a fan manip. I can’t believe this is real! This doesn’t look like they had a photoshoot at all… they took stills from the movie and dressed them up. Let’s have a movie poster of the Denali sisters! Super hot ice princesses pictured to get our guys to go to the movie with us.
    And
    “blood must have alot of calories…” uh, that’s nasty!

  • Anonymous

    That is a good poster idea. We’ve seen the holy trinity standing around before. Lets see:
    -Hot Denali clan
    -Jacob funny digust face close up
    -bruised after sexin’ feathered forearm
    -under water fall Edward and Bella making out – reminds me of a Jessica Simpson video but that’s okay because it looked way hotter
    -Edward in water shoes
    -Cup of blood with a straw in it

    • Anonymous

      OH. A poster with just a sippy cup of blood would be the World’s Best Movie Poster. EVERYONE would see that movie.

      too bad Summit doesn’t hire creative people. I think I am going to make that poster & just put it up over all the BD posters I see.

      • Anonymous

        Sippy cup of blood! Yes yes yes.

      • Anonymous

        You need to make the poster MNS.  If Summit makes it it’ll just look like cherry Kool-Aid and everybody will think it’s a movie about day camp.

        • Anonymous

          It’s all about Viscosity!

          • TeamSeth

             And now I’m thinking of my Alex/James fantasy again… lovely ;)

          • Anonymous

            Oh Joe….

          • TeamSeth

            I just gave in and read from the middle of chapter 13 to the end of the book (which is ch 15) of the third book in the series… and now I’m all “I <3 Charlaine Harris."  And now I've turned on the mixed CD called Eighties(?), which includes a gaggle of 80s songs from the donnie darko soundtrack as well as some salt n peppa, clash, and cure… which of course is not all 80s… hence the (?) and I'm going to finish this calendar if it takes me all night.

            Joe is October.

          • TeamSeth

            Yeah, didn’t finish.  Decided at 1am I should get my shower and go to bed since I had to be on time for work today (which I wasn’t–again) BUT I only have…Feb, Mar, Apr, May left to do :D

            And the liquor store was closed by the time I got there, so I couldn’t buy Belvedere or Van Gogh (was still deciding…going to base it on price) Oh well.

            IF ANYONE HAS PLAID SHIRTED PHOTOS OF: Billy Burke, Taylor Lautner, Kellan Lutz, and/or Sam Trammell, please send them my way! :)

          • ladyofthemeadow

            Billy in plaid… harder to find than I expected. Here he is looking creepy with the pronstache.

            http://www.sagacrepusculo.es/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/billy-burke-charlie-jefe-swan-web-oficial-twilight-crepusculo.jpg

          • TeamSeth

            Told you!  It’s sooo hard to find him in anything but black tshirts and leather jackets.   And Ian Smolderholder took a bit of effort too!

            SIGH.

          • ladyofthemeadow

            I admire your tireless pursuit of men in plaid.

          • ladyofthemeadow

            You’ve prolly seen this article about men in plaid, including pic of Kellan in plaid.

            http://famewatcher.com/celebrity-plaid-fashion-muscle-boy-kellan-lutzs-fashion-style.html

          • TeamSeth

            I probably haven’t lol  I usually just do google image searches and don’t notice the websites… anyway, I do need another Kellan pic, so I will go there when I get home (because my work computer is blocking this website… how dare they!)  The biggest difficulty with finding a photo is finding one that’s a high enough resolution to fit comfortable and print effectively on a 8.5×11 page (aka 8×10 pics).

            Do you realize how many more charcoal / pencil drawings of Paul Wesley there are than of any other guy I looked up?  It’s INSANE.  Basically anything you search for over 1024×1200 is a scan of someone’s sketch of Paul.  One of them was so good–and him wearing plaid–that I seriously considered using it.  Okay, no seriously, but there was a vague inclination and giggle about it.

            Sigh. Anyway, yeah.  Billy Burke and Kellan Lutz are my two trouble makers.

          • Anonymous

            Nothing in this entire fandom gets me going like talk of blood through a straw. If it wasn’t so long, it would be my penname/screen name.

          • Anonymous

            VISCOSITY!

      • TeamSeth

        NutSlut, please do that!  I would love to have that happen…  McDonald’s could even promote their new “Pomegranate” Shake in a BD cup!

    • Anonymous

      You meant Edward in nothing but water shoes, right? ;-)

      • Anonymous

        Between sippy cup with blood, hot Denali clan, and nude with water shoes Edward, everyone would really go see that movie.

        • natteringyeahrobber

          Hey Summit, why stop at millions when you could have BILLIONS!!! (as Sean Parker might say).

          Take the advice mentioned here and you can own all 6.945 BILLION of our asses.

  • Stacey

    I’ve been giving this post a lot of thought…mostly due to the afternoon cocktail I’ve been enjoying. Got to love vacation!

    This is what I’ve come up with as I watch an amazing amounts of fashionistas parade before me (this island is full of them), Alice Cullen aka the wardrobe department need to go back to fashion school. Don’t get wrong I wouldn’t wear most of what I’ve been seeing, but if ALICE did dress Ed and Bella they would be wearing what I’ve seen in the windows of these boutiques. (sparkles, girls! And a disturbing amount of day-glo sunglasses. Which last time I checked, should have been left in 1983.) Instead, we get Ann Taylor and Edward’s GAP special. Of course, Jacob’s Hane’s Tee shirt from the children’s section of Walmart. Because, you have to accentuate those pecs for the wee baby. (They can share the shirt in a couple months!)

    Now, that I’ve gotten that out of my system, back to beach time/celebrity look out.

    • Anonymous

      Afternoon cocktail…..vacation….beach time….I am deeply jealous. In an I’m glad someone gets to do it way, of course. Our vacation at the end of August is on “maybe” status right now because I am job hunting and don’t know when I’ll be starting. Take a leisurely swim in the sun for me!

    • TeamSeth

       “sparkles, girls! And a disturbing amount of day-glo sunglasses. Which last time I checked, should have been left in 1983.”

      Wait, are you in an American Apparel store?

  • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

    told you you wouldn’t guess

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      I RULE AT BLOGGING

      • Anonymous

        Laughing ’til I’m crying, UC.  I’ve been trying to visualize that since I first read the Meadow scene.  Now imagine it unbuttoned, with (if memory serves) khaki pants.  Hahahahahahaha!  I’m not sure if I should be thankful or sad that the movie costumers overruled Ms. Meyer’s book description on this one.

        • cosi bella

          That picture Rob looks SOOOOO Duran Duran

      • The Old One

        YOU RULE

      • TeamSeth

        Oh, this is much better than what I guessed!

  • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

    told you you wouldn’t guess

  • TeamSeth

    Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m just a night person rather than a morning person, but this is no way looks like how the break of dawn looks. That’s a sunrise if I ever seen one, not the break of dawn.  See Pride & Prejudice 2005 version for the proper dawn break look…both opening scene and third to last closing scene.

    Hm.  I need a nap.

    • Anonymous

      Why Do You Hate Thomas Kincaide So Much?! Painter of Light, it says. Painter. Of. Light.

      • natteringyeahrobber

        But speaking of light, I can’t tell where the sun is supposed to be. It looks like it is coming from behind Jacob (TWSS), on the right But then the sun seems to be reflecting from the other side, onto the left side of Edward’s hair, and on the top left of Bella’s gigantic forehead. And it is also shining on the front of Jacob’s face. Are they on some other planet with multiple suns? Or is the person taking the photo in full sparkle mode and light is reflecting/refracting all over the damn place?

        • TeamSeth

          Perhaps they are.  Robert looks like he’s trying to do the “old wise man” and “sad for humanity” look that the Doctor does on Doctor Who… they could be anywhere really… the TARDIS in the background… Jacob would make a great replacement for Jack Harkness…he just never gave up hope.

          BBC better not ever cast him as the Doctor.  That’s all I’m saying.

        • Anonymous

          The holy trinity is made of light. Light pours from their pancake makeupped pores.

        • The Old One

          I think you’re on the right track with the sci-fi angle.  It is very much like the lighting in the first Star Trek, when they’re on a planet, sort of pink and orange and emanating from everywhere.  All they need are some fake rocks and give Jacob a giant dome head.  

          • Anonymous

            I couldn’t help myself.  I’ve always wanted a Twilight/Star Trek mash-up.  Jacob turns into a giant were-lizard:
            http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/683/twistardawn.jpg/

            Uploaded with [URL=http://imageshack.us]ImageShack.us[/URL]

          • TeamSeth

            OOOH!  Can you make Edward a Klingon?

          • Anonymous

            I’d love to, TS, but unfortunately I need to do some paying work today!

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Triple-billion bonus points for the Rob hand detail. I was just considering a Letter to Lt. Commander Bella from Captain Edward, now I just might have to. 

          • Anonymous

            Do it!

          • Anonymous

            Decided. I’m dressing up as a Starfleet officer for BD opening night. Now I’m excited.

          • Anonymous

            That’s two! two! TWO GEEKS IN ONE! :)

      • natteringyeahrobber

        But speaking of light, I can’t tell where the sun is supposed to be. It looks like it is coming from behind Jacob (TWSS), on the right But then the sun seems to be reflecting from the other side, onto the left side of Edward’s hair, and on the top left of Bella’s gigantic forehead. And it is also shining on the front of Jacob’s face. Are they on some other planet with multiple suns? Or is the person taking the photo in full sparkle mode and light is reflecting/refracting all over the damn place?

  • TeamSeth

    So, if BD Edward is modelled on Big Daddy, is he going to be a Diva too?!  That’s something to look forward to…

    “Jesus Jacob, I am just so over this situation. You know, she could like have puppies with you or something.  That would be a better situation.  We could like share her or something.” pause  “Oh my gawd, do you think she can hear us?”

    “Nah, she’s human remember?  Anyway, you gotta chill out dude. You’re acting like my RL dad.”

    “Excuuuuse me?!  I can’t believe you just said that.  You’re the one who gave me those stupid Sweden bars telling me that’s what Alexander Skarsgård eats and I know how you worship him! Now when I look in the mirror at night, all I see is sadness. That’s your fault, Jacob.”

    “Seriously, are you Rob or Edward right now?” to Condon but still in character: “Should we cut here?”

    “Jacob Marie Black!!!  I cannot, canNOT believe you just insulted me like that.  I’ll assume that to be your roundabout rude way of trying to get us back on topic. So, puppies or dead Bella, Jacob–you’re either with me or you’re against me.”

    • Stacey

      You just killed me, lady…killed me!

      Diva Ro…I mean Edward makes me giggle. Then you mentioned Scarsgard and then I cried since I haven’t watched True Blood yet.

      Now I need another fruity alcoholic drink.

      • TeamSeth

        There, there, don’t cry.  You will soon enough and you’ll get to see more than one episode at a time.  It’ll be like a Wrigley’s Double Mint gum commercial… double double your [bloody] refreshment! Double double your [Northman] fun!

  • TeamSeth

    So, if BD Edward is modelled on Big Daddy, is he going to be a Diva too?!  That’s something to look forward to…

    “Jesus Jacob, I am just so over this situation. You know, she could like have puppies with you or something.  That would be a better situation.  We could like share her or something.” pause  “Oh my gawd, do you think she can hear us?”

    “Nah, she’s human remember?  Anyway, you gotta chill out dude. You’re acting like my RL dad.”

    “Excuuuuse me?!  I can’t believe you just said that.  You’re the one who gave me those stupid Sweden bars telling me that’s what Alexander Skarsgård eats and I know how you worship him! Now when I look in the mirror at night, all I see is sadness. That’s your fault, Jacob.”

    “Seriously, are you Rob or Edward right now?” to Condon but still in character: “Should we cut here?”

    “Jacob Marie Black!!!  I cannot, canNOT believe you just insulted me like that.  I’ll assume that to be your roundabout rude way of trying to get us back on topic. So, puppies or dead Bella, Jacob–you’re either with me or you’re against me.”

  • TeamSeth

    Also, Moon, David Slade touched something you own?

    That makes me jealous.

  • http://mjmuffin.blogspot.com/ mjMuffin

    Thanks for this! I haven’t laughed so much from the internet in a while!

    Okay so I want to know what the hell is going on with the hair in BD?.. Like Carlisle looks like he’s got a side part and actually not slicked back hair in this (http://static.newmoonmovie.org/bdm/images/2011/06/255628_193808137333097_113413348705910_500109_7012620_n.jpg) preview photo.. and Edward is looking all real estatey on there too.. wow.

    I think LTT should donate bras to Taylor for his pectoral issue.. though I must admit I like the Ann Taylor modest young woman look but it’s definitely not a Bella closet item. I’m sure Alice wouldn’t settle for Ann Taylor..

    I think this post is surely “bringing back” the old days laughs <3

    • ladyofthemeadow

      Judging from the calendar, Bella’s obviously into a B cup. She must have a couple of AA sized bras from the Twilight days that she could hand down to Jacob.

  • https://me.yahoo.com/a/iNoy11YH1pbU7a.P7bdoq54i3FINJ.8k#6f742 pattygirl

    like CW once said even if it was trash , the fans will see it , ref to NM.

  • Anonymous

    What is up with the way Rob’s standing there?! I mean, we’ve all seen the pics of him in the scuba suit. No huge belly there. Maybe photoshopNiece likes a man with a little more meat on his bones. Which is also why she added the moobs to Taylor.

    • Anonymous

      Not sure why it says pics twice. My edit doesn’t say it :(

  • Anonymous

    What is up with the way Rob’s standing there?! I mean, we’ve all seen the pics of him in the scuba suit. No huge belly there. Maybe photoshopNiece likes a man with a little more meat on his bones. Which is also why she added the moobs to Taylor.

  • https://me.yahoo.com/a/iNoy11YH1pbU7a.P7bdoq54i3FINJ.8k#6f742 pattygirl

    Summit has a 100 million plus budget for BD , while WFE 38 mill , but have a way better make up artist, costume designer , crew ever. May be Rob shd have not only WFE make up artist with him but also the costume designer since Edward clothes are hideous judging from the stills.

  • Anonymous

    Just remembered, on my way to Vegas I passed “Camp Summit.” It figures I finally find it after the Saga is finished filming!!!

  • Anonymous

    I think it looks like Kristen didn’t show up for the photoshoot.  So the mom of the “niece” posed in her place and then they photoshopped “Bella”‘s face in, am I right?

    And, so glad to know I am not the only one with twilight calendars in my closet.  My friends think it is funny to buy me twilight stuff.  It’s all in a pile in the way back corner–the calendars, the tote bag, the hot topic tshirt.  I also have a poster signed by Edi, Rachelle, and Tay-tay. That’s actually kind of cool, as I LOVE Rachelle *SummitscrewedheroverbutIwon’tgotherebutsheisstillthecoolest* Lefevre

    • Anonymous

      Ha ha! I have friends who think it is funny to buy me Twilight stuff, too. Once they brought me the GIANT plastic movie cup (from Eclipse? I think?) that they bought at a yard sale. Err, thanks?

      • TeamSeth

         haha, I generally only get Twi stuff from friends and fam who like Twi…  Like a little bottle from my sister Buttcrack Santa and NM trading cards from Mr. Seth and the Twilight birthday card (today!) from vintage LTTer Ang.  Yay!

        • Anonymous

          Happy Birthday Team Seth!!! Hope it’s Twi-riffic! (and that it really is today, lol)

          • TeamSeth

            It is, david slade recognized that last year when he made the Eclipse release on my bday.  He knew…he was like “This is going to be the best birthday ever for TS. And simply because she wrote me a birthday wishes letter for LTT…and because she likes wiener [dogs]. And because she gives good hugs and never wears heels around me.” and he quietly mumbled that he thought he loved me, but he knew I never would return the sentiment.

            That’s why I like David so much.  He’s the best. This year he three-way called me with michael sheen on the line and they collectively said “Happy birthday from the Hobbitses!!!”  You can’t ask for more than that, honestly, you just can’t.

            –Thanks, David–

          • Anonymous

            Have you started your bday cocktails without us, TS?!

          • TeamSeth

            Well…I sent you the evite!

          • Anonymous

            Must be lost in cyberspace somewhere! Will try to catch up :)

        • Anonymous

          Happy Birthday!

          • TeamSeth

            Thanks!  I’m off now for actual cocktails! :D

  • cosi bella

    Hate the blue shirt on Rob HATE IT – what happened to stylish edward?  looks like a banker who just yanked off his tie after work…Taylor…hold on..I think his lipstick matches his T-shirt…yuk

    • Anonymous

      The part that is really crap, is that this isn’t even a version of these people that makes any sense for this movie (maybe BD part 2). It is obvious that they ran with the whole “married parents” thing with B & E (and Tay on a pedestal/behind so he isn’t shorter of course). But that transformation doesn’t happen for a while. Really. You don’t get married and POOF! Anne Taylor dress, big hair for her, bankers button down and red porcupine hair for him.
      During my first pregnancy I was all “I am not going to be one of those ladies who wants to wear flattering black clothing and look stylish and modern with my comically large belly. I am going to look like Mimi from Drew Carrie, or an Easter Egg.” I went out and bought second hand wooden beaded and embroidered East Indian dresses, Hawaiian printed muumuus, stretch cotton jumpers Chrissy from threes company might have worn, and bed clothes and went to town. Second baby is when I bought real maternity pants and modern and stylish black tank tops.
      side note: once I saw a pregnant teen at the supermarket sporting low slung jeans and a tight white tank top with a pink rhinestone studded playboy truckers hat. SHE WAS AWESOME!
      Anyway, nobody confiscates your flannel and hoodies at your wedding.

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