The one where I made a fool of myself for Twilight

Dear

Today I was browsing my Facebook feed while trying not to have a nervous breakdown during the Women’s World Cup Shoot Out (I can’t talk about it) and noticed the vintage shop I hit up for costumes, Iguana Vintage, had a Rob and Kristen sighting. No doubt to buy out all of LA’s ugliest vintage sports tshirts and hats. Maybe a new (old) Timberwolves jersey for Comic Con? Holler Team Jacob!!

So while reading I noticed they made a glaring mistake and I felt compelled (or crazed) to comment since clearly I have no problem using my personal account to illustrate what a dork I am to the hippies running Iguana vintage.

Witness…


Yes, I am that loser that felt the need to correct a Facebook page about Robsten. I have become THAT GIRL. To complete the transformation I will now go around telling people it’s Stephenie Meyer with an E not an A and that it’s PattINson not Patterson and Robsten is REAL it’s true love and Taylor didn’t use any steroids, it’s all natural people… and he’s legal!

And because me calling out the vintage clothes hippies on their Facebook page and raining all over their mothball smelling parade wasn’t enough they then updated with this…


They might as well have said “According to some crazy Twihard we were wrong and Twilight is a film and it’s not actually True Blood and Rob and Kristen aren’t actually Beeeehul and Sooookie and after we found that out we wished we hadn’t given them the 15% off we give our FB fans because they aren’t actually our FB fans and they cleared out our entire sporting section. Jerks. We hate those films.”

So Iguana Vintage this is my formal apology because I’m not THAT girl and I love your mothball smells because I find costumes for all my parties there: Back to the Future, Saints & Sinners, Rockstar Dreams and countless Halloweens too awesome to name all from your Hollywood store, I can’t do the Valley. And I truly don’t care that you know anything about Robsten or their actual names and what shows or movies their in. So can I have that 15% fan discount and my dignity back??

LIKE!
Themoonisdown

PS Why do those other people who commented have like 5 names each?

Have you done anything like this? Corrected someone about something Twilight-related when it really didn’t matter at all? Why do vintage stores smell like mothballs? Can someone make a vintage store where I won’t sneeze the entire time I’m inside it?

Visit Iguana Vintage

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

  • purplescool

    The closest I’ve come is the other day when my sister (who got me to read the series in the first place), called me all excited after she had watched the Harry Potter movie where Rob plays Cedric Diggory.  
    My sister: “Oh my gosh, did you know that that Patterson (her word) guy from Twilight is in one of the Harry Potter movies?!”
    What I wanted to say: “Duh!  Everyone knows he was Cedric Diggory before he was Edward, not that I’m slightly obsessed with him or the movies or anything but I regularly read a hilarious blog (LTT/LTR) about the movies and Rob and even comment on the site from time to time”.
    What I actually said: “Uh yeah, I think he plays the guy who gets killed in that movie.”

    • Stacey

      I bring up Twilight way too much…usually after drinking wine. With the book club. Then going off about how ridiculous (and pretty) Robert Pattinson is. I have absolutely no filter. It’s sad.

      My hair dresser mentioned this weekend how the reviews for Water For Elephants weren’t very good and this is what I said, “Oh no! Rob was brilla…THE MOVIE was good. That Twilight guy was pretty great. (Then I giggled.) It was Witherspoon’s fault.” Poor Reese. I completely threw her under the bus to protect Pattinson’s acting abilities.

      • Anonymous

        Somehow I think Reese wouldl be okay with that. She’s just that kinda girl!

        • Anonymous

          You know what though? I loves me some Tracy Flick, but Reese was totally the weak link in that movie. She wasn’t awful or anything (and seriously if you haven’t seen Election you need to go do that right now) and anyone playing across Christoph needs to bring their A++ game, but I think she was miscast. Sorry Reese! But call RP a motherfucker again, that was funny!

      • Anonymous

        Somehow I think Reese wouldl be okay with that. She’s just that kinda girl!

  • Stacey

    Oh boy, Moon…now I bet they feel weird about telling “Bill” and “Sookie” about their vast selection of “vintage Sam’s shirts” (Sam had a lovely black one on last night), hoping that the now brunette and more flat chested (not anything against Kristen, but there is a difference between her and Anna) “Sookie” and younger (You know HD ages everybody) “Bill”, would pass it along to the True Blood costume department. Seriously, both Rob and Stephen Moyer have British accents, it’s an easy mistake. (if you are legally blind)

    Sounds like a fun store though! I should search for one in New Haven.  

    • Anonymous

      Girl, name the store. I will totally meet you for thrifting in the Have.

  • Nelle

    But seriously Moon. Who can blame you? What planet do they live on?

    • ladyofthemeadow

      Agreed. I’m a stickler for detail and would have had the same reaction. I probably would have misplaced my filter enough to correct them, out loud. Totally Normal.

    • Anonymous

      Totally agree!  They seem to like to brag when they have celebrities come in.  They totally got caught in a lie here.  I say good job on calling them out Moon!

  • Nelle

    But seriously Moon. Who can blame you? What planet do they live on?

  • Anonymous

    Wait a minute! Does this mean Rob’s in LA?

    Time to head to In-n-Out!!!

    • ladyofthemeadow

      For breakfast?!

      • TeamSeth

        For every meal.

  • Kaybeevee

    Oh I so would have done the same thing. I would have read it, been irked, gone back to read some of my other friend’s updates, still been irked, and then finally gone back and made a comment.

    And they are in LA? Twitter lies! I heard they were in NY. But from all we know of that store it may have been Nina Dobrev and Smolderholder. Hippies!

    • Stacey

      It was probably Smoulderhalder. He loves tiny vintage hats, that fit awkwardly on his head. Nope…they are back on the East coast filming Vampire Diaries. (Paul/Stefan tweets)

      Then I can see being a little confusion between Nina and Kristen (Anna’s blond hair is way too different). Ian and Rob, are way too different. It would be funny though, because Ian would get all offended by being confused for Rob and then say something snarky on twitter. Ian would follow up his making fun of Rob tweet with one about recycling or saving spotted owls. Cause that’s how Ian rolls.

      • Kaybeevee

        That IS how Ian rolls…completely.

        Have you ever seen that “Where’s Rob” app on the IPhone? I saw him talking (bitching) about it and thought he was joking but then looked and saw it…

        It tempts me *bad fangirl*… is it too evil? Not sure, can’t tell if it’s more gawkerish or stalkerish… Hmmmmmmm

        • Anonymous

          it’s sort of evil and creepy. what did they do, shoot him with a wildlife tag?

          • Kaybvee

            Yeah, I know…

            I’m thinking it’s not unlike the twitter gossip location stuff but with maps etc…with some fan stuff/pics thrown in?

          • TeamSeth

            They did. There was some confusion about his hair being the fur of a possibly domestic, but probably wild, bobcat and they wanted to track migration patterns.

            Much to their surprise, the bobcat flies across the country and the Atlantic rather frequently.  Who knew bobcats could get on as a first-class passenger?

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Speaking of how Ian rolls, he recently tweeted this video he made, which now has 100K views: http://www.twitvid.com/YXPOP
         
        I watched it. I actually watched it twice because I thought it didn’t load correctly the first time and I missed something. No. It is a video of some other video still (???) and reminds me of something my 6 year old might shoot. SERIOUSLY? 100K+ views plus no snarky comments below? Can he do no wrong?
         
        Now that Rob doesn’t have a job, he really should just waste a few months of his life on Twitter. He could post all sorts of drunk rebuttals to Ian’s earnest nice-guy postings. Rob v. Ian. Oh, it would be good. I would also love to see a video-off between Ian and Rob. In one corner a disheveled Rob eating corn nuts (or ice or whatever that was) out of a cup, in the other Ian taking videos of Starbucks trash bins. Would drive fans wild. OK, well me.  

        • TeamSeth

          Or he could get very defensive that CDubs threw him under the bus saying he was the one who came up with the frolic idea.

          I’m blaming IGUANA vintage.

          • Anonymous

            haha OMG what was that?! BREAKING NEWS: Hollywood Reporter Has No Concept of Sarcasm; Also Will Report Anything As News.

          • TeamSeth

            me make big joke

        • Stacey

          Ian vs. Rob…BRILLANT!

          You have Rob littering his In and Out bags and Henekin bottles in one video and the next video have Ian cleaning up Rob’s trash and muttering to himself about stupid littering sparkle vampires. Oh and just to make it even more special have Alex (wearing the blue sweater from last season’s TB) have a video making fun of both of them. That would bring me so much joy.

          • TeamSeth

            And me.

  • Vickybonnett

    Hahahaha this has completely thrown some other Twihards (not us) into a tizzy. Either trying to figure out if it was them so they can put a pin on their “Where in the World Is Rob?” Map or some Robsteners writing a blog update on how shopping for vintage clothes is just like true love. Meanwhile I’m packing my bag for a ComiCon Campout. Word.
    Sincerely
    Vicky Rodriguez Bonnett Von Pattinspoon ;)

    • Anonymous

      We’ll expect a full report from that campout!

      • TeamSeth

        It’s like the new Burning Man.  New Moon and Eclipse trading cards becoming bartering goods since currency is suspended at the gate (except for ice) (oh my god, please smack me, Nat and NutSlut!)

  • The Old One

    I was sitting around talking with some friends the other evening, and one of them mentioned he had been to Seattle, and how nice it was in that part of the country.  I had to say, “oh yes, it’s the Land of Twilight.”  He did look at me funny.

    • Anonymous

      I went to Washington state around the Seattle area the summer before I lost my Twi virginity. After I read Twilight, I was like, “I was so close to Forks and the twi magicness and had no idea. If I had only known…” (I would have made my husband take me there)

    • TeamSeth

      At a happy hour in Orlando in 2009 I told some girl I lived in Portland and that my sister was coming to visit in April and we were going to go to Forks.  The girl, who had zero filter, said, “She knows that vampires don’t really live there, right?” and luckily I was cool enough to reply completely deadpan, “Yes they do.” with the “I live there, bitch. I know the real truth–you do not.” look.  It was epic.

       

      • Stacey

        She really said that?!? That is hilarious!

        On another subject, TS…did you see TB last night? I am sure you REALLY enjoyed the Eric parts. (Alcide, too)

        • TeamSeth

          I did. And I did.

          More Alcide than Eric, to be honest.  I’m not loving this season and I’m not loving this Eric.

          “I’m not a child!”
          “I AM real.”  aww, it’s sweet. But…I miss the real Eric. The one who will throw you down on the bed and give you pleasure for 6 hours without rest.

          • Anonymous

            I miss the real Eric who wears man cleavage shirts, because those Jason sweats do nothing for me. This Eric is weird in the series, because it is such an unbelievable contrast. Book Eric isn’t quite as scary. He does things like wear spandex pants and gets Sookie to make out with him for show at a sex party, and doesn’t torture Lafayette. Not as scary. I’m actually pretty annoyed with Sookie’s innocent “okay Eric you might kill me any second but I’ll help you anyway, and okay maybe we can make out” face. She needs to be real and look hornier or something. Because bitch would have to be VERY HORNY to be entertaining the idea of making out with that Eric they’re showing there.

          • Anonymous

            Oh, and another thing that kind of irked me. Shirtless Alcide. Dude is a werewolf, and he waxes his entire upper torso. I’m glad they at least kept the bush, because I would have been laughing out loud at the thought of a werewolf that waxes his man parts. I understand you’ve got GQ shoots to do Manginajello (yey Dlisted), but you’d look just as hot and way more believable with hair. Yes, I need my tv werewolves to be believable, apparently.

    • sw_twi_fan

      I’ve done that too.  My sister and I were planning a trip to Chicago and I said “that’s where Edward Cullen was born”.  My sister just rolled her eyes and gave me that shut-up look.

      • TeamSeth

        Wow. I didn’t even realize that. (unfortunately, I immediately thought “No, Edward Masen” after reading your comment) (sigh)

        • Anonymous

          It’s possible that I just went to the grocery store, and lunged over the checkout aisle to get the very last existing Eclipse gum package  with the Volturi on it. The lady behind me gave me a look, but I don’t know if it was a “is the gum in this aisle not good enough for you, crazy lady?” look, or if it was a, “I will follow you home and stab you in the driveway for that Volturi gum, bitch” look.

          • TeamSeth

            Well, you’re still standing (sitting?) unstabbed, so I guess it was the first one.

            Speaking of, I’m jealous! I only have the Bella and Edward one.

        • sw_twi_fan

          Haha, I stand corrected.

  • Anonymous

    I actually met someone from Forks the other day… how embarrassing to say “wow, it’s beautiful out there.” “Why were you there?” “Oh, just some twilight thing.” Cue knowing/pitying glances.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, well when I told my mom about visiting Forks, she thought it was a made up place.  Fan fail.  She’s read the books and some of the interviews of Stephenie Meyer, but other than that and the movies, her knowledge stops there. Maybe if she knew there were others her age what were huge fans she would come out of the closet.   

      I did have someone say to me, after they found out my plans to see the premiere of HPDH2, “Did you know there are 8 movies.  I only knew of  3.”

  • Anonymous

    As far as being an idiot online and being called out for it: I…uh, have nothing to say about that. *blushes*

  • Anonymous

    Maybe not correction, on FB, but I probably would.  I have laughed out loud when someone unintentionally quoted Twilight.  Or when my daughter asked me, ‘Is that normal’ Then you get one of those looks.  If you’ve ever done this you know what I mean.

    • TeamSeth

      I like to think of the looks as a quiet jealousy that they know you belong to something bigger. Then i quickly mentally jot down the event and how I’m going to tell people on LTT about it so I don’t feel as pathetic.

  • Anonymous

    Nope. Never done that. Never.

    *Looks around trying to look innocent and begins to whistle*

  • blackgirltwihard

    don’t feel bad that shit was well deserved. …

  • suwineko

    so good! i Love robsten too <3

  • operarose

    You have more self-restraint than I, because not only would I have corrected them on the fact that Twilight is a movie not a show, I would have also told them to put an apostrophe in Let’s. How’s that for annoying? A Twi-fan AND a grammarphile.

    • TeamSeth

      ;)  I would’ve asked why they are capitalizing those words in particular.

  • suwineko

    heh ;)

  • SNRabb

    Yeah… a local movie theater posted some pics regarding Breaking Dawn Part 1 on their FB page. One of the pics was actually fan art (me, being as normal as everyone else, immediately ID’d the production stills from the fake ones) and called them in on it. They apologized and said they would pay more attention from now on. And yes, I blushed, but I wasn’t really embarassed XD

  • TeamSeth

    Mothball reasonable guess is two-fold:

    1) People who donate clothes have had said clothes in the back of their closet or drawer or in a trash bag for about 3 years before they remember to put them in their car to go donate them. Mothballs tend to hang out in the back of closets and drawers.

    2) Since most vintage clothes are made of non-synthetic materials and
    actual wool, you need to keep the moths away. Or else what happened to my amazing 1960s wool turtle neck sweater dress will happen (the moths ate an entire sleeve! So sad)

    I think they knew it was a film. They were just trying to be ironic. ;)

  • blondieinco

    Hilarious!!!  Don’t worry.  It’s not like you are one iron-on pic of Rob away from Patty Pants lady or anything. 

    • TeamSeth

      gigglesnort.

  • blondieinco

    Hilarious!!!  Don’t worry.  It’s not like you are one iron-on pic of Rob away from Patty Pants lady or anything. 

  • Anonymous

    I almost corrected someone once at the library.

    Girl: “I can’t believe I ever liked those awful books. I mean, seriously? Sparkling werewolves? That’s so stupid!” *laughs* 
    What I wanted to say: “Honey, if you are going to make fun of them, at least be intelligent about it. It was the VAMPIRES who sparkled.” 

    I resisted. Barely.

    • TeamSeth

      You should’ve looked at her with that dirty library look and put your finger over your mouth and slowly and deliberately shushed her while pointing to the “Library” sign with your other hand.

      Then when you walked by her with an annoyed and haughty strut, you could’ve hissed, “Only the vampires sparkled, moron.” tossed your hair and continued along.

      Hm. No, I don’t think she would get that the whole thing was a melodrama mockery.  Nevermind.

      • operarose

        Quuiiieeeettt! This is a libeeerrrrry!

        (Nickelodeon, anyone?!)

        • operarose

          apparently not. I should specify this was early to mid-90s Nickelodeon.

          #crickets

          • TeamSeth

            We didn’t have cable.

          • ladyofthemeadow

            Before my kids.

        • Anonymous

          All That, yes? :)

    • Anonymous

      That, and if she did write books that big and serious about sparkling werewolves, well, I’d be pretty on that too. That would have made for some very spiffy CGI work in the movies.

  • Kathleen

    After the (insert number here)billionth time, a random girl in my group declared that the engagement ring was wrong because in the book the ring had a black stone. I tried to nicely explain that she was wrong but she wouldn’t hear it because she was a big fan and therefore right. I was incensed. How could she not believe me, ME! I went home, got my copy of the book and typed out the section describing the ring and e-mailed it to her. She hasn’t responded. It’s been a year.

    • TeamSeth

      Wow.  That’s intense.  But I love that you used the word “incensed”.  That made me smile a lot.

      Anyway, a year?  She needs to learn to swallow her pride.

  • MyRobbie

    I know this has probably been said already fifty times, but holy shitballs, I thought the same thing when I read that tweet.  Show?  Show?  SHOW?  You served/serviced Rob, for feck’s sake.  And the Stew.  But mostly Rob.  Damnit.  

    I am in awe of your lack of self-preservation re facebook.  I wish I could do it, just go balls out.  But there are former students of mine on there.  And my mom.  I know.  I don’t want to talk about it either.

  • Anonymous

    Yes, I’ve Twi-barrassed myself before.  To a group of teenagers no less!  In the car on the way to a concert, I was one of three adults, my friend’s teenage daughter and two of her male friends.  One of the teen boys made a comment about “vampires climbing trees” and I had to turn around in my seat and correct him on how the vampires in the books DON’T climb trees and how that bit of ridiculousness was brought to you by Catherine Hardwicke and Melissa Rosenberg!
    Needless to say after that I received a blank stare that said I was a 30+ year old freak who needs to get out of the house more.

  • http://twitter.com/Freaky_Bella Freaky_Bella

    I know. I wanted to correct them too!

  • Anonymous

    Okay, so I see the “Twill” work clothing collection ad to the right. Did they decide to advertise on LTT because they searched “Twill” and ended up with endless “Tweed” posts on LTT? They should have made it the tweed collection, or at least called it that in the ad, and stuck a pair of reading glasses on the dude. Maybe thrown in a velvet collar on the shirt.

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