Breaking Dawn… business cards!?

Dear Twilight,

A few weeks ago USA Today featured the Breaking Dawn promo cards given out at Comic Con (Moon? Are you reading this in Africa? Did you get these). They were horrific.

We’ve seen the pictures before. They are gracing us on the pages of the 2011/2012 Breaking Dawn Calendar. I think they’re supposed to get us excited for Breaking Dawn. Instead….. well, MarbleNutSlut though they looked more like bad business cards:

I jumped in on the fun with my own interpretations:

Looking forward to doing business with these 3!

Love,
UnintendedChoice (and MarbleNutSlut!)

Why are these promo pictures so horrible? What other occupations could the Twicast be involved with?

No updates from Moon to report so they must be busy running their camp for kids this week in Kenya! But if she gets a few moments to show her Kenyan friends LTT (Ha!) here is another picture to show how much we miss her!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • Anonymous

    **snortlaugh** Jacob Black motorcycle gang! mahahahah!

  • Notanaddikt_bella

    Jacob Black, motorcycle mechanic and used car dealer. What can I do to put you in a 1985 Volkswagen Rabbit today?

    • TeamSeth

      Tinted windows and an extended backseat.

  • nocoolname

    Looks to me like Edward is running for Congress.  He’s ready to take on the special interests in D.C. and fight for the people of western Washington.

    • Stacey

      Could you just imagine his campaign slogans? “Doing what’s best for America, by doing it MY way!”

      or…

      “Taking down the wolves of Washington, one special interest at a time!”

      Little would the public know, Edward would be talking about La Push and taking it over to put in high end mall for Alice’s shopping pleasure.

      NCN: How are you? :0)

      • nocoolname

        Thanks for asking, Stacey.  :)  I’m ok, having a tough recovery from this fifth (and final!!) c-section.  The baby is great, though, so all is well.  We named her Annie.

        • Stacey

          I love that name! Recovering from c-sections are tough. I hope you feel better soon!

    • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

      I don’t think Edward could do the political thing. He’s way to chaste for a sex scandal, which are a must.

      Or would he tweet sparkle peen pics to minors?

    • http://www.talksupe.wordpress.com snowwhitedrifted

      I don’t think Edward could do the political thing. He’s way to chaste for a sex scandal, which are a must.

      Or would he tweet sparkle peen pics to minors?

  • Anonymous

    Do Kristen’s ears always stick out that much?

  • Deborah Blount

    why????WHY!!!! can’t Summit respect the fact that Twi fans are sophisticated, have read more books than just the twilight saga AND HAVE SEEN A LOT OF GOOD MOVIES!!!  I love the series and am devoted, but if the movie BD is as flawed (if I can see it, why couldn’t the film editors see it, i.e. NM, Bella in their “field” and her hair changes between shots??!!) I might just scream!  My HP friends just shake their heads . . . (oh, and in Eclipse, at the beginning when Bella is talking to Charlie, WHO in the world HAS THAT MUCH HAIR!?)  Okay, time to take the blood pressure medicine.

    • Anonymous

      you can remind your HP friends about the horrible banker hair everyone is sporting in the horrible, cringe worthy epilogue. That’s something, anyway.

      • Deborah Blount

        thanks!!!

  • Stacey

    Who does the marketing for these movies? Bad marketing is a HUGE PET PEEVE of mine. If you are going to do cards for these movies design something cool or mysterious. Make something cool that stands out not stands out to be ridiculed.

    On a more positive note, I would love if Edward was my CPA. Of course, my husband works it that field, so I really don’t need another one. Of course, Edward has hundreds of years working with money, soo…vacation home in New Hampshire here I come! (You know if this was real life not delusional joking about characters in a YA novel.) 

    • Anonymous

      Remember Stace? It was discussed here the other week; it’s that damned niece. Summit Exec Niece strikes again!

    • Anonymous

      No need for cool or mysterious, just make them as pretty as they are in real life

      • Anonymous

        For Serious. How did they take such pretty, pretty people and make them look awful? For that matter, Why?

  • Anonymous

    Moon, don’t get eaten by that leopard!  It looks like it’s about to jump on you!

    • Stacey

      I think the jumping Rob needs to be added in to save her. :0)

      • Anonymous

        hahaha! Jumping Rob to the rescue!

  • HowToBe

    This is hilarious!

    All I wanna know is why are Kristen’s teeth so jacked up in that pic?

  • http://twitter.com/kitten_mitton Christine Mitton

    Edward looks more like a used car salesman…. And Bella looks like she belongs in a Summers Eve commercial.

    Are these pictures ever just going to go away?  NOPE These pictures are going to be out in the world haunting them for the REST OF THEIR LIVES. 

  • m474

    FAIL–FAIL–FAIL!! Oh wow, once again shittastic Summit has failed at something: it’s always one thing or another hair, makeup, wardrobe, marketing, promotion etc.

    Is it that one company cannot really do it all right? Or is Summit that shitty? I’ve got no clue, but they haven’t taken to heart any of our criticisms in the past and have just pushed on through fucking shit up left and right. Maybe bc the fan base is so loyal, they don’t realize that they’d be left with nothing holding the bag except for the books and ff??

    Regardless, the calendar is horrific and very unflattering to most of the characters/actors. I think Edkins looks pretty good, but yeah Bella looks 12 (ironic since this is the flic she marries and births in) and yeah, since when does KStew have elephant ears?

    EPIC FAIL–thanks so much Summit!

    • ChillinWithCullens

      Laughing so hard about “Shittastic” – you’re hilarious!

    • http://twitter.com/kitten_mitton Christine Mitton

      Summit will always have the last laugh.  Haha, Summit, Haha.

  • Anonymous

    Jacob Black – jorts connoisseur and rebound guy to pale, clumsy, brown-haired teenage girls who have had their hearts broken by their god-like and non-human ex-boyfriends. Hope to hear from you soon.  

    • Anonymous

      Jacob Black – able to do more than play chess with you at any given moment.

  • Anonymous

    This is why I love LTT.  I will have these embed in my brain now and will always think of it when I see these pics…
    LOL HARD…
    Thanks for the Friday laugh!

  • Anonymous

    Jacob Black, escort. Legal.

  • Anonymous

    Congrats NutSlut!!! Those are awesome!!

    • Anonymous

      thanks! I feel so famous! I hope people don’t start harassing me at restaurants. That sounds terrible. Maybe some glitter signs outside my house, though. That would be okay.

      • Anonymous

        That would really cheer me up. If I heard a commotion outside my house and there were people with glittery signs singing my praises. I could use that right now. I am job hunting, and I don’t know if there is anything that will make you feel like a useless loser better than job hunting. Unless you happen to be brilliant and or highly qualified for interesting and well paid jobs. Those ships have both sailed for me.

        • Anonymous

          ******Wooo!!! HAVE MY VAMPIRE BABY GOWITHIT*******

          (*****= glitter)

          • Anonymous

            Thanks NutSlut. That helps. I accept your proposal.

          • Anonymous

            fantastic. now I know this works! One GoWithIt baby, coming up! Robert Pattinson can’t be far behind!

  • Anonymous

    Congrats NutSlut!!! Those are awesome!!

  • https://me.yahoo.com/a/iNoy11YH1pbU7a.P7bdoq54i3FINJ.8k#6f742 pattygirl

    Jacob Black, always has to stand on a box opposite Edward Cullen, Must have special asisstant to carry box around.

Creative Commons License


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License
.

LTT Privacy Policy



Sponsored by