Things I wish that were

Dear Twilight,

I just realized there are only 16 days left for me to complain about things I wish were different in the Twilight Saga movies so that you could add them to Breaking Dawn. Sorry to be so last minute about this, but you understand. I’ve been busy. Speaking of being busy- I wasted about 12 minutes of my night looking for my Breaking Dawn book. Does anyone know where I placed that?

Anyway, I watched Twilight on FX the other night and read through a few chapters of Twilight and New Moon the other day for an LTT letter, and I realized there are a quite of things that I miss that were a part of the books that aren’t in the films. So if you wouldn’t mind doing some quick reshoots in time for us to see the film in a few weeks, that’d be cool:

BFFs

Bella & Alice: BFFs

I mean right off the BAT these two are close girlfriends. Sure Alice gives Bella a hug in Twilight by the bus (or was that in the book?) and they have that heart-to-heart on the couch in New Moon, but besides that, they’re kinda just… friends when it’s convenient. Like they chat when Edward is out hunting Black Bears with Emmett & stuff, but nothing that convince me they are super close friends. I don’t see Alice in the movies buying Bella a Tiffany’s friendship bracelet or anything. Alice & Bella of the BOOKS would have entire Tiffany’s stores dedicated to storing their friendship bracelet charms. Or they’d at LEAST have matching friendship tattoos. Or a couple pictures of each other together around the house. Or maybe Alice would be the one to tell Bella about doing “it” and her first time with Jasper. Either way, it’d be CLEAR that these two girls are BFFs.

Lauren:

I really miss Lauren. I mean, girls like Bella WAYYYYY too much in the books. Have we forgotten that Lauren Mallory was the original Bella-hater? Yes, we can say she’d probably be leading the nonsten and anti-KStew charge were she a real person.  It’s been so long since I thought about Lauren that I had to do a little research on the Twilight wiki (yes, there’s one of those. What ELSE are people supposed to do with their time?) and I found this:

Sometime during the summer following her junior year, Lauren was approached by an alleged modeling agent in a mall in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, who told her that she seemed like a natural model. The agent told her that if she cut her hair shorter and edgier and had some high-quality headshots taken, her future would be assured. Lauren followed his instructions – spending 300 dollars on a haircut and 15 grand on pictures taken by the agent’s partner – and never heard from the agent again.

WHAT? When did that happen? Where was I? I don’t remember that AT ALL. Do I have pages missing from my book? This is, seriously, news to me. And further proves my point- That right there would be HILARIOUS to see. Mean girl from high school who hates our precious Bella, gets hers in the end in the form of a big credit card debt she can’t pay off even on good nights from her tips from “The Lodge.”*

Mmm.. imagine eating your dinner under THAT

SPEAKING of “The Lodge,” damn I miss it. I mean, I completely forget how Stephenie described it, but I figured it was a dark old cabin filled with stuffed heads of animals caught by its owner, featuring Prime Rib one step below Applebees. The Carver Cafe just sound a little too high class for Forks. Steak & Cobbler? No no no, the Lodge serves previously frozen buffalo meat and frozen apple pie heated up right before it’s served.

And while were discussing Bella & Charlie’s eating habits, why DO they go to the cafe every Thursday night? In the books they eat at home ALL THE TIME. Bella is an expert cook. And SO is Kstew. What’s wrong movie-people? Let KStew wear an apron on set & make her dad an loquat pie!

Yeah... like that!!

Bella’s physical attraction to Edward… And how he pulls her in.  I think that Catherine was the only one who attempted to get this across on screen (and failed, sorry KStew & Rob, lovers for life) She tried ignite what Stephenie explains so beautifully with words on screen for us by using close up shots, asking Kristen to open her mouth a little bit, almost enough for drool to fall out & for Rob to look like he’s gonna blow a load in his pants because of holding back all his passion & need & desire. Good try, but not exactly how it was described in the books.  “And Edward, almost blowing a load in his pants because of how much Bella’s blood SANG to him while Bella gazed up at him, only breaking her stare when she noticed the pool of drool from her open mouth had soaked into her jeans.” Yeah, not the same.

So while I’m excited for Breaking Dawn & the newness it brings (a wedding, a beautiful dress (fingers crossed), some sexytimes & more Cullen family- finally), I really could use some of the above mentioned things that I miss. Here- I’ll throw a quick scene together for you. Off the top of my head…..

Bella & Alice are in The Cullen house putting the finishing touches together on Bella’s wedding attire when suddenly Alice, who has been in quite the chipper mood because she finally got Bella into some decent shoes, grows somber saying, “Bella… I’m worried that things will change between us. With you marrying Edward… Isn’t there some sort of rule that your husband has to be your best friend?” Bella stops removing the lipstick Alice just spend 30 minutes perfecting to look at her best friend, “I know. I’ve thought about it too, and while I think Edward expects that I will consider him my best friend & closest confident, I want you to know that it isn’t true. That role will always belong to you.” Alice smiles a big smile & at that moment the sun bursts through the open window surrounding her in brilliant sparkly diamonds. She holds out her pinky for Bella to latch on. Holding on to one another’s littlest fingers they say in unison, “Best Friends Forever. Till Death Do us Part.” And then erupt into giggles, knowing death will never part them.

So yeah.. something like that… Lauren Mallory could interrupt their bff love-fest with some bitchy comment about how Bella looks fat & then the reception could be held at The Lodge! Emmett & Jasper, forced into helping with the decorations, are getting a kick out of all the mounted animal heads they strung white lights over. And then maybe, JUST maybe, Bella & Edward of the movie can act as connected as Bella & Edward of the books. 

I have faith in you, Twilight!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

*Turns out that story about Lauren is from the Twilight companion. I just outted myself. I never read it. I don’t even own it. Oops

 What do YOU wish was more of a focus in the movies that you loved from the books??

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Edward & Bella Manip

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  • gizmo

    OMG Lauren Mallory! Even the FF writers forgot about her. I can’t remember the last story I’ve read where Lauren was making Bella’s life hell in Forks High.
    And yes, movie Bella shuts down Alice way too much.Also, I am a firm believer of Joey Tribiani’s theory on actors’ chemistry.Once they humped for real, they denied the cameras the magicness. Cathy knew what she was doing.

    • Anonymous

      I read a fanfic which I don’t think was ever finished, which is a real shame because it was very well written, in which Lauren Mallory appeared. It was about Seth. If memory serves, it was his Diary. I can’t remember what it was called at the moment (but I have it bookmarked on my home computer and can find out if anyone is interested). Anyway, Seth develops a fight-everytime-they-see-each-other crush on Lauren Mallory.

      • The Old One

        “Well, This Sucks:  Life According to Seth”  http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4513209/1/
        Funny!

        • Anonymous

          That’s it! It IS funny! I really liked it alot.

        • gizmo

          Oh wow. Haven’t read that one. I only read E&B (& sometimes J) fics. But Seth & Lauren?! That’s a new one for me…

    • MariaCecilia

      FF writers tend to allot the role of Edward’s slutty ex to poor Lauren Mallory..Maybe it’s lucky they just rolled Jessica and Lauren into one, and gave Anna Kendrick Lauren’s hair instead of Jessica’s. I don’t think she would have appreciated an Afro hair makeover?

      • gizmo

        Hahaha I totally forgot book Jessica had an afro.
        I love it when fics have the whole high school bitch brigade (Lauren, Jessica and a lot of the time Tanya). I don’t think Summit ever realized how much people love to hate Tanya and are interested in that casting because of the fics. 

  • Anonymous

    I’ll join your confession, UC: I haven’t read the Companion either.  Did thumb through it in the bookstore, but my husband told me buying it wasn’t Normal and he would get to tease me forever if I did.  Someday I’ll have time to get a library card in our new town and then I’ll sneak it home.
    As for the cooking, I’m gonna pin that one on Rosenberg’s “feminism” [insert MarbleNutSlut attempting to restrain herself from a rant here].
    P.S. The fact that the ad today is for American Girl Dolls kills me.  Are they issuing a special edition Demon Baby doll?

    • Anonymous

      Imma punch Rosenberg in her faux feminist FACE!!!

      grahahahrrahfdfhdghd!

      (pour vous)

      • Anonymous

        Thanks.  If you do it I don’t have to :)

        • Anonymous

          Seriously. When on earth would Bella shove her hand in Edward’s face, get up and walk away, all “suck it, mofo” in the meadow? NEVER, that’s when.

    • Keish35

      Even KStew said on Kimmell or something if she could change 1 thing about movie Bella it would be that she got to cook.

    • MariaCecilia

      To be fair I don’t think feminism has much to do with it, but script writing does. Cooking just doesn’t make for interesting plot development – unless you’re Martha Stewart, of course…

      • Anonymous

        Script writing is part of it, but Rosenberg (ROSENBERRRRRGGG!) said in multiple interviews that she was a Feminist! and was going to make Bella all Feminist! and not so, you know, in love with Edward or other horrible girl stuff like that.

        *fumes*

        • Sisterpenguin

          Yay you! Feminism is about choice, none of which is shown in the films. They even took away Bella’s intelligence – it was HER getaway plan in Twilight, just to name a larger gripe.

          *mutter, swear, moan*

          • MariaCecilia

            On the other hand Rrrrosenberg put in that completely unnecessary and completely misleading Bella speech about choice at the end of Eclipse, where she claims her choice to be a vampire has nothing to do with Edward. ??!! (An obvious lie and totally wrong if you’ve like READ THE BOOKS!!)

          • TeamSeth

            READ THE BOOKS!!

            THIS! A million times this.

            (ps, you guys and your grrrrls references make me smile and giggle a touch and think about Sleater-Kinney street in Olympia, WA. And want to listen to Bikini Kill.)

          • Anonymous

            Oh god I may need to go have a drink now.

          • Anonymous

            Oh and her EPIPHANY in New Moon. EPIPHANY, ROSENBERG. And if you want to use the “script writing” excuse? CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT. MOTHERFUCKER.

            (it’s a bee in my bonnet, that missing epiphany scene, I tell you what.)

          • Sisterpenguin

            Yep. Got a veritable hive going on. 

            My big fear for BD is that Bella will be too caught up in “I feel pretty” rather than the abilities she has that make her feel finally comfortable with herself (and Ed’s equal).
            That and that the sex scenes 

          • GoWithIt

            My biggest BD fear is that it will miss the mark with gross. None of the movies up until now have been really set up for yucky. Creepy, moody, melancholy, sexy, blinky, slightly tense, but this one should involve some freaky, and I hope it delivers.

        • TeamSeth

          and not so, you know, in love with Edward or other horrible girl stuff like that.

          Um, she failed. DH only complains about that aspect of Twilight. “But WHY do they like each other? Because they think each other is really hot? This is NOT explained. AT ALL. Not believable.”  “Well, in the books…”  “I don’t care! The movies should stand alone. That’s good film making–a standalone from the book. This is just NOT believable.”  “And the whole vampire thing?”  “Acceptable suspension of disbelief.”

          I think that’s why Jacob/Bella is more believable… because they actually flirt instead of just stare at one another as if they haven’t had their coffee yet but are still mid-fantasy (not that this defines my morning meetings, thanks so much)

          • Bubs

            Yes, yes yes !!!!! You are sooo spot on !

          • KStewBoy

            Here here!  The movies SHOULD stand on their own, and you are totally right – the do not.  People who have only seen the films can rightly complain that they don’t make sense. 

      • Anonymous

        It’s not interesting plot-wise, but I think it’s pretty important for character development– it’s pretty much how book-Bella shows Charlie that she cares about him.  Well, and how she butters him up.  But there’s a lot more obvious parent-child care in the movies than the books, so perhaps that covers it.

        • TeamSeth

          AND the grocery store is the ONLY place she feels “at home” in Forks. I think that’s perfectly honest and a great thing. Because the grocery store in RL Forks MAY be connected to the Outdoors Store, but it’s still a proper grocery store.

          • Anonymous

            Wait, back the train up!  Have you been to Forks?  Is there a letter about it?  My best friend’s family has a house on the Penninsula, but she refuses to set foot in the town.  So sad for me.

          • TeamSeth

            What part of the peninsula?  I mean… hm. How does avoid going there? You can’t NOT go.

            You and I should meet up in Yakima.

          • Anonymous

            I think they’re further south… but haven’t been there since college, so I’m not completely sure.  Her sister stopped in one day, was totally horrified by the tourist hordes, and she hasn’t been.  It’s a shame too, she’d totally enjoy the second hand embarrassment once she got started.  Might have to get a couple mojitos in her some afternoon and sneak it on her.
            Yakima results in tasty burgers and shakes at Miner’s.  But someone was telling me about an amazing winery in Tri-Cities (of all the places in the world) and my totally normal internal dialogue told me that once this baby who won’t take a bottle can be left… or my husband has time to make it a family trip (a.k.a. he watches the kids) I should meet up with you there.  

          • Anonymous

            And I’d like to give a shout out to the little diner across the street from the hotel that has special twilight rooms. Such delicious pie! Definitely not frozen crap. But not sure their menu runs to steaks…

          • TeamSeth

            Hm. They Jacob Blackberry cobbler I had there wasn’t stellar. But… it was Marion berries instead. And the waitress was snide.

    • TeamSeth

      I’ll see your Confession and raise you: I thought UC was joking and there wasn’t actually a companion book.

      Then I remembered.

      • Anonymous

        Hahaha!

    • GoWithIt

      I’m having my Eclipse screening soon, so I get to explain the “feminism” that gets sprinkled here and there in Eclipse, and wasn’t in the book i.e. Bella saving the day with her bloody cut and making a speech about how it isn’t all about Edward instead of him trying to do her in the meadow at the end. Of course it isn’t the speech that bothers me, it is the cutting out of a makeout scene, of course.

      • Anonymous

        “I love you, I want you”

        Yes, why would we want that in there?

        *huffs*

        • GoWithIt

          Exactly. I hate when love stories get all passionate. 

          • GoWithIt

            At the *very* least, it could have made a good “cut scenes” extra on the DVD if they had given that version a try.

          • TeamSeth

            Bonus features on Eclipse were awful.

            If Chris Weitz’s voice wasn’t so friggin sexy, I may feel the same way about NM. No, not even then. NM special features were fantastic.

            Do I care about how you guys had to work out all the time? No. Do I care about Taylor catching grapes? NO. Do I care that Chris Weitz still looks awkwardly sexy with his pants tucked into his wool socks because it’s so effing cold during shooting? That his Cambridge BFF Mr. Pete Lambert is the voice of Romeo during the R&J video? That he over thought the entire film and still was missing stuff? That he has an excessive crush on KStew and her special colored eyes? That he was texting his wife throughout the film to check on their son? That he has no clue how much I adore him because he’s too busy blocking me on twitter without letting me defend my comment? Yes. I do care about that. #asshole #stillinlovewithyouChris #Natpleasesendhelp

      • MariaCecilia

        Actually, I think that is just about the only thing Rosenberg improved on: I always hated the fact that Stephenie set up the whole scene with Bella and the story of the third wife – and then when the climactic fight scene comes, she just THINKS about cutting herself to help Edward?? Lame, girl, lame. It makes much more sense for her to pitch in and help out with a little blood – after all, that’s all her blood will ever do for Edward…

      • Anonymous

        Man, that scene surprises me and makes me grin ridiculously every time I read the book.  Think it would have hurt their teeny-bopper rating?  Not like it hurts the abstinence message… how many times in a movie do you watch a girl turn a guy she loves and wants down for the moment?  Of course, Summit would hate to do anything resembling preaching.

  • Esteez

    Agreed on all points made.  Sometimes I wonder what would have made it better, script, directors, production company, who knows.  Maybe we would have never been satisfied.  Of all the things to be captured from the book, Bella and Edwards pull to one another is (was) a must.  Sure we would have picked at others flaws, but I think that is the one thing above all else. 

    Never read the Twilight companion either.  Wonder what else I missed.

    • TeamSeth

      It’s not like we’re asking for the magnet scene to be in Eclipse the movie or for the cabinets to be painted yellow…. Though, these could all have been achieved if Bella actually cooked. And we would’ve seen Jacob quickly heal his cut and Bella flip out cholorix the whole kitchen when he bled… So it would make sense that when she smells floral and bleach when she wakes up from giving birth it’s because she’s smelling her own blood having been cleaned up by the cullens.

      It’s not like we’re asking for that.

      We’re asking for the thing the entire friggin’ saga hinges on: Edward and Bella’s undying, unconditional love.  DUH.

       I think that’s reasonable. I’d prefer to have that than them playing chess on their honeymoon just so Condon can make a “hehe I’m clever” reference to the book cover. #wtforks #noonecares

      • Anonymous

        Her bleaching the heck out of the kitchen would have been a great scene!  Sigh.  I’m hoping we get more little moments like that with the two-movie deal for BD.

        • MariaCecilia

          Yes, lots of bleaching time with two movies! :-)
          (Don’t tell the environmentalists about the excessive use of Chlorine, though..)

  • GMB

    there is SO much from the books that they missed in the movies! I could go on forever and I usually do every time i watch the movies. I find myself wondering what is Bella and Edward’s love actually based on in the movies. In the books they got to know each other (talking outside her house in his car for hours, the REAL meadow scene) but in the movies there is nothing about how they fell in love, I know they couldnt do much but when i watch the movies if feels like something is missing.  PS. you should really pick up the Companion. I haven’t read all of it but Alice’s back-story is really good. Funny, I actually just read on Wikipedia this morning that Lauren’s character was combined with Jessica’s for the movies.

    • TeamSeth

      Awww! Do you remember when Edward drives her home and asks her what she misses about Arizona and she goes into these really detailed memories of the plants and the way the sun looks on the horizon?  #sniff

      And my favorite was when Debussy is playing in his car when he turns it on, and she isn’t all “Yeah, Debussy’s great.” she’s all “HOLY CRAP YOU LIKE THE SAME MUSIC AS ME?! THIS IS AMAZING FATE LOVE!!!!” and he’s all “HOLY CRAP THIS IS AMAZING FATE LOVE!!!!”

      Yeah, MUCH more believable than this crappy “I don’t dance’ BS. Ugh. FAIL FAIL FAIL.

      • Anonymous

        “HOLY CRAP THIS IS AMAZING FATE LOVE!!!!”

  • http://twitter.com/KatieShh Katie

    THIS –> She tried ignite what Stephenie explains so beautifully with words on
    screen for us by using close up shots, asking Kristen to open her mouth
    a little bit, almost enough for drool to fall out & for Rob to look
    like he’s gonna blow a load in his pants because of holding back all
    his passion & need & desire.

    This is why I keep reading LTT.  You just get it!  I’ve been re-reading Breaking Dawn.  I don’t recommend doing that though.  Remember wanting to throw the book across your room?  Yeah, it’s still like that.

    • TeamSeth

      “Remember wanting to throw the book across your room?  Yeah, it’s still like that.”

      :D

  • The Old One

    I’ve started re-reading the books before I see BD, just for kicks.  I’m surprised at how many lines I thought were only in the movie are actually in the book!

    • TeamSeth

      Well, you really shouldn’t have said that.

      • The Old One

        yeah, like that one!

  • ChillinWithCullens

    I wish Charlie actually had the yellow cupboards (Renee wanted to bring some “sunshine” in) – what would it have taken to redo those?  $40 and a trip to Home Depot, that’s what. Although, we know that’s pretty much the entire hair budget, so gotta set the sights a little lower. I also wished they’d shown more of the Jacob & Bella stuff at the end of Eclipse. They really don’t convince me in the movie that Bella is in love with Jacob too. Movie: make out on the mountain, dump Jake in the sweat lodge.
    Book: Bella goes on and on about dark-haired kids, the future with him (“I want it so bad, Jake…”), and then after the “break-up” Edward holds her while she sobs violently ALL NIGHT LONG. Kstew just doesn’t bring it the way I’d hoped…

    • MariaCecilia

      I wonder if Edward felt better about that night of weeping afterwards, when he knew it was just egg Renesmee making Bella cry in advance of Jacob imprinting on her..?

      • Anonymous

        RenEGGmee!!!

    • Anonymous

      Do you think the cupboards are just because the yellow would have looked funny with the Twilight blue filters?

      • MariaCecilia

        Or because they saved the yellow palette for the horrible vampire contacts?

    • TeamSeth

      Serious!  Movie scene post-“Jaaaaacob!” Jake thinking, “Just like the bend and snap, threat of suicide works every time!” with Edward goes:

      Bella: I love Jacob.
      Edward: I know. You’re so stupid.
      Bella: But I love you more.
      Edward: I know. (smirk) Let’s have tent sex now. OH SHIT IT’S VICTORIA.
      Bella: Whoa. What is going on.
      Seth Wolf: Bark.
      Bella (for preview soundbite use only): She found us.

      Audience: (Eye roll) (Enter Riley) OH YES! Xavier’s Back. Unf.

      Fast forward to Edward ripping off Bella’s plaid shirt like a real man would.
      Rewind.
      Replay.
      Repeat this process.

      Jacob? What? Who is that?

  • Allryans

    What the Hale is the Twilight Companion?

    • MariaCecilia

      The Twilight Companion is the guy who holds your hand while you re-watch the movies, who reads the books aloud to you while stroking your hair, and does a mean impersonation of Edward Cullen at your behest. I hear they can be rented for approximately 700 dollars/hour. Tax not included.

      • Anonymous

        roflmfao

        I flove this comment

      • gizmo

        HAHAHAHAHA 

        Where can you rent these? Can you rent more than one at a time?

        • MariaCecilia

          So you want to rent the Jacob AND the Edward version – at the same time?? Greedy girl…

          • TeamSeth

             aka Bella.

            If I were Lauren Mallory, I would hate Bella too.

          • gizmo

            Um.. Actually I was hoping to get 2 Edwards.

          • MariaCecilia

            You, my dear, should be writing fan fiction!

      • TeamSeth

        *crying from laughing*

      • GoWithIt

        Do you have a toll-free number I can call to order mine?

        • MariaCecilia

          Look under “Escort services” in the yellow pages.

          • GoWithIt

            If only!

  • Sagalvr

    Great post UC! I completely agree. The movies try to shy away from the second hand embarrassing melodramatic moments in the books–Lauren being bitchy, Bella taking care of Charlie, eternal attraction between two “teenagers”–when really they should just embrace them and go all the way. The books are addicting and satisfying for a reason and the movies could be too, instead of a suggestion of greatness I put on while folding laundry.
    ::Meanwhile, runs to see Breaking Dawn as soon as it comes out::

  • Anonymous

    Oh the things I WISH were in the movies / things I wish were NOT in the movies… I don’t have enough time.  There’s a lot.

    But let’s see if I can keep myself down to just like one.  This is really difficult.  Okay.  Instead of which one I wish the most, I’ll just pick a random one:

    The whole watching her sleep thing.  I wish it would have come across less creepy on sreen.  In the book it came across to me as sweet and totally non-stalkerish, in the movie when he’s standing over her, he looks creeptastic.  But their first kiss was hotter in the movie…. so…. you know, it kind of evens it out.

    (TWI NERD ALERT:  I believe I heard that the blonde chick with long curly hair that was KIND OF around in the Twilight movie was supposed to be Lauren Mallory… but she got DROPPED in NM as did Tyler… and Solomon Trimble)

    • MariaCecilia

      And did anyone hear if the three of them got together a class action against Summit for discrimination? Being part of minority groups and getting cut out like that, I mean?

      • Anonymous

        They tried and lost. Summit argued it was CHARACTER discrimination and had nothing to do with the actors themselves. They were sticking up for Bella. And since there is no law against discriminating against fictional characters, Summit wasn’t charged.

        Jacksper lucked out in New Mon with that paper cut stunt that her was a Cullen or his ass would have been gone.

        Apparently Summit doesn’t hire nieces to represent them in court.

        • TeamSeth

          “Apparently Summit doesn’t hire nieces to represent them in court.”

          TEEHEE

    • gizmo

      I miss Tyler.
      And Solomon.

      • TeamSeth

        Tremble for Trimble.

        I wonder what he’s up to on his MySpace page…  Maybe he’s participating in Occupy Portland! I’ll wave next time I ride by him in the bus #tomorrowmorning

        • gizmo

          I check up on him from time to time. He’s been in 2 movies since Twilight: Train Master II as a “tree climber” and some kind of modern western where he was finally credited with a name (Arrio). 
          No activity on MySpace BUT he’s on Facebook, and seems to be attending college in Portland (he just can’t let it go), is in a relationship with a Carmen Selam and into Russian soaps.

          • TeamSeth

            Well, he is FROM Portland, so it would make sense. I thought he already graduated from PSU though? #wentonascholarshiplikeRachel?

          • TeamSeth

             Okay, rewind! Not only is from New Mexico originally, he goes to OHSU. I have so much to learn about Solomon! 

            Luckily he and I have 1 mutual friend on facebook, so there’s a possibility (heh) that I can friend him and he’ll friend me back. I’ll let you know how that goes. Maybe he and Carmen and me and DH can hang out under Burnside Bridge listening to him play classical guitar…

          • gizmo

            I have a feeling he friends easily (4 thousand something by now)…
            Do let me know, though. I’m too chicken to send a request. 

          • TeamSeth

            Who am I?

            No! I’m not Jean Val Jean, I’m 4,721st friend of THE Solomon Trimble!  BOOYA!

          • gizmo

            HAHAHAHAHA

            You realize you’re on the other side of the fence now. We’ll be counting on you for insider info. No pressure or anything…

          • TeamSeth

             Oh, nevermind. Our mutual friend is my acting hook-up here in town. #normal

          • TeamSeth

             Shit. Nevermind again… Under his “About me”:

            I’ve never had a drop of alcohol in my life.

            CUT THAT!

          • TeamSeth

             Friend request sent.

            (Sits back and drinks Widmer Brothers Pale Ale)

        • Anonymous

          I totally skipped the word “by” In this sentence: “I’ll wave next time I ride by him in the bus”

          It totally changed the dynamic of the sentence. I was like, wow, TS really likes Solomon. I under estimated how much. I laughed so hard. My kids were like, “what is so funny mom?” “Nothing kids.”

          • TeamSeth

            I’m going to ask him tomorrow what he thinks about the Occupy Portland movement and if he feels like it’s been overrun by the homeless.

            Also, I should add that as soon as he friended me he changed his profile pic to him and his girlfriend having swoony eyes with each other against an alleyway wall. To me this says that not only did he read my comment Tremble for Trimble, he in fact reads ALL of LTT posts ALL the time and is a unicorn.

            #wondersifIcandoafilmwithhim #PortlandactingdaysBACKON

          • TeamSeth

            ALSO, at the opera tonight, Cherubino was all (translated) “Women make me flutter and tremble” and I was just sitting there going “Tee hee! Tremble!” like an 11 y/o boy. DH is sitting to my left all serious and engaged with Mozart’s glory.

          • MariaCecilia

            Imagine your reaction if it had been a concert with Debussy!

          • TeamSeth

            My work computer came with 3 sample songs in the music folder… one of them was Maid with the Flaxen Hair by Debussy. #win

  • Anonymous

    I just realized…. maybe there’s somethig to that…. Lauren hated Bella, Tyler nearly killed Bella, Solomon was rude to Bella about her Cullens….. Characters beware!  If you’re too down on Bella, you will get cut!  lol

    • MariaCecilia

      I wonder what will happen to UC, Moon and the rest of us on LTT, then? Will we be cut out of their list of “Possible Extras”?

  • MariaCecilia

    Yeah! For sure the Bella-Edward attraction needs to be re-shot and inserted into ALL the movies. Nothing has bummed me off as much as the lame attempts to convey Edward’s smouldering looks and Bella’s weak knees and damp panties (okay, so maybe that last part wasn’t in the books) from the books I loved to read.

    And if Kristen is currently unavailable for sexy re-shoots because of other commitments, I offer myself up as her body double, Summit! You better take it!

  • S.kay

    Agree!

    My friend and I were just discussing the missed pieces last night while watching the credits after seeing Twilight Tuesday.

    Some of the things just seemed silly to change from the book…like the yellow cabinets and Bella cooking. Other things they just didn’t capture well…the developing of the B/E relationship. They left out so much dialog ect that the depth of their relationship isn’t believable in the movie.

    I haven’t read the Companion guide either! I completely forgot it existed!

    • MariaCecilia

      “It will be as if it never existed..” Guess Stephenie didn’t know just how prophetic her writing could get?

  • TiffaBella

    For anyone who hasn’t read the Twilight Illustrated Guide:

    http://www.amazon.com/Twilight-Saga-Official-Illustrated-Guide/dp/0316043125/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1320252767&sr=8-1

    you should totally check it out, it’s all kinds of 2nd hand embarrassing and is pretty fun to read, as long as you don’t have people making fun of you while you read it…

    I had to take a business trip (to Arkansas, of all places) a few days after it came out, and I bought it for the plane ride and for reading while I was bored in the hotel (of course, I felt the need to hide it from all of my fellow travelers while I was on the plane and in the airport).

    Some of it is covered a bit in the books, but some of the backstories were not covered at all in the books and it was fun to read more about some of the minor characters in the saga. They pretty much cover every character and their story, who they are linked to, yadda, yadda, yadda…

    And I have to agree with lots of the people on this issue, why is Bella not ever allowed to cook in the movies?!? I think the only thing they have ever shown is her gathering up Charlie’s dishes and putting them in the sink… what’s up with that?

    • KStewBoy

      Hmmmm… this seems like a convenient Christmas gift for Mrs.KStewBoy.

    • TeamSeth

      It’s the sink. EVERYTHING uncomfortable happens by the sink.

      I’m always waiting for a creeper to be staring in through the window. Or for someone in set design to realize that the doorway entry and stairwell placement changes in every shot.

      • TeamSeth

        I mean, do they not think we are doing walk throughs of the house while we have fantasies about Billy Burke and Charlie Bewley having a threesome with us on the Swan couch?!  #seriouslypeople

      • Anonymous

        You’re right, everything uncomfortable DOES happen by the sink!  Weird.

  • 17 4awhile

    And, don’t forget,  Bella doesn’t eat one single poptart in the movies.

    • TeamSeth

      Or clean and do laundry to pass the time.

      OR have internet that works.

      And she reads books. Like all the time. Because she loves reading so much she has to go to Port Angeles for a better library, not some lame Legends of the Cold Ones book. And Edward knows she wouldn’t go in the hokey bookstore because it’s not her style. Because he connects with her. Because they’re irrevocably in love with each other.  And she sits in the woods hidden beneath the ferns whilst making the decision to give it a go with this sexy as hell vampire, Edward.

      Sorry, you were talking about poptarts.

      • Anonymous

        Did people ever actually do laundry to pass the time?  Before the internet, maybe?  

      • MariaCecilia

        Actually, in the books she has a huge, weazing computer with lousy internet connection, and in Twilight the movie she suddenly has a sleek Mac with a wireless (?) connection. Another irritating anomaly!

        • TeamSeth

          oops, I meant that. Like reverse of what I wrote. Sentence structure fail! :(

    • TeamSeth

       And WHY can Edward cook eggs in 30 different ways?! I highly doubt he cooked from age 0-17. Then he died.

      • Anonymous

        Food Network.  Or is that a FanFic myth?

        • Anonymous

          Nope. Not fanfic. Actual fact. You know your Edward. ;)

          • Anonymous

            I know my useless, random trivia.  And my Edward, I’m afraid.

      • ladyofthemeadow

        Silly, he’s got “Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management” memorized from cover to cover. It breaks up learning all those languages at night.

        • Sisterpenguin

          More like Jamie Oliver. Otherwise everything would be cooked for 3 hours…

  • Rob’s Bitch

    “…asking Kristen to open her mouth a little bit, almost enough for drool to fall out & for Rob to look like he’s gonna blow a load in his pants because of holding back all his passion & need & desire. Good try, but not exactly how it was described in the books.”

    Thanks – just looked more like a moron than usual by gaffawing at work.

  • Stacey

    What about BEN, ladies and unicorns, what about BEN?!?! True love of Angela and if Edward wasn’t putting is everything into Bella’s “safety”, a prospective friend to a emo vampire. I miss Ben. Yorkie and his Flock of Seagulls haircut is just not good enough for Angela!

    I also miss the Bella and Alice friendship! They should have worn those matching BFF necklaces in the movies. Only Tge fancy ones, because I doubt Alice would be seen in the jewelry department of Target or Walmart.

    • TeamSeth

      Maybe Jack Morrissey talked Bill Condon into having them wear matching Fake Lesbians shirts during the bachelorette party?

    • Anonymous

      Ben! They was a huge bug up my hind end! They CUT Ben?! Not cool Melissa. Not fricking cool. How about I go find out who is your truest friend’s spinster is take him away telling her that he’s not crucial to the story and tell her to settle got being this other dude’s beard. I’m guessing thou would change your time about Chenny.

    • Anonymous

      “I doubt Alice would be seen in the jewelry department of Target or Walmart.” …. Or Hot Topic.

  • Sisterpenguin

    Okay, I’m outing myself: I HAVE read the Companion (and how I wish he was available to rent MNS!) and finished the saga again a couple of weeks ago. 

    No point in even thinking about what SHOULD have been in them there films, Bella has been made so insipid the yellow cupboards fell way down on the list (and I’m not that huge a book Bella fan). 

    But something that has only just caught my eye from the BD trailer: why are there four Denali women at the wedding? Irina doesn’t come to the wedding so there should be two blondes and a brunette. Now I’m really getting worried..

    PS I can lend you a copy of BD Mrs Choice. Which would you prefer – standard black hardback, black paperback or white paperback with red tip pages… It’s normal to have these right?  ;-)

    • Anonymous

      Well…they have to introduce the Denali girls in an early point in the movie to coverup the fact that they had zero mention in the earlier three so why not the wedding, I guess? But I don’t no how the rest of it is going to fit into that storyline.

      • Sisterpenguin

        Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about. My imagination is too vivid in all the wrong ways

      • Anonymous

        Maybe it will be at the wedding that Irina finds out who did Laurent in? And then storms out all angry-like? Ooooh, drama!

        • Anonymous

          If that’s how it goes then Condon watches waaaaay to much gossip girl.

  • TeamSeth

    I like how Bella looks uncomfortable with Alice even in THAT picture!

    Mmm, you do smell good.

  • Anonymous

    To be honest i didn’t really likethe guide which was really disappointing since we had to wait for it for so long (that’s why I’m keeping my hopes extreamly low about MNS). There was almost nothing new for a (NORMAL) dedicated twilight fan and as TiffaBella mentioned all the backstories are connected so you get to read the same story over and over along the book. The only thing that held my intrest beside Alice’s backstory was the beautiful artwork.
    What do I miss most in the movies? In addition to what you all have mentioned I wish we got more than just a glimpse of Alice’s canary yellow Porsche in eclipse (I’m sure i’v got a lot more but that’s all I can think of for now).
    Seams to me that everyone is re-reading/listening to the audiobook in preparation for BD and now I’m considering it myself but I’m a bit reluctant because there’s a big chance that’ll get bored and stop reading midway, on the other hand it might give me a boost of excitment that I’m desperately in need for.

    • TeamSeth

      What is MNS?

      OH! Nevermind.

      I kept thinking you guys meant MarbleNutSlut. But… you didn’t.

      • Sisterpenguin

        I’m guessing Teamnoone meant Midnight Sun. I just fumbled on the keyboard, it’s late and time for sleepy bo bos but your comments keep me giggling in the dark

        • Anonymous

          Ok, that should have been MS but I thought MNS would be easier to figure out than Dark High Noon (the name the girls at the Lexcion made up).

          • TeamSeth

            Dark High Noon doesn’t even make sense. It’s not dark with it’s the midnight sun.  Isn’t it named that because Edward can’t block out Bella’s face just like you can’t block out the sun when it’s summer in Denali? Except when he was in Denali it was fall/winter, no? This is all a big fail imo. Thank goodness Stephenie’s not going to bother to finish the book.

      • Anonymous

        lmao

        I feel it’s Taylor Swift discussion day all over again. (TS – I kept reading Team Seth on bread of Taylor Drift.)

        I totally read that as Marble Nut Slit too. Midnight Sun, that thing Stephenie should never finish because she just could never live up to our expectations. Right. Got it.

      • GoWithIt

        Never keep your hopes low about MarbleNutSlut.

        • Anonymous

          Can someone please send this message to Robert Pattinson? Thanks.

          • TeamSeth

            I’ll see if Guri will deliver it to him. You know how they’re buddies. (um, well, I know, because I read Guri’s blog entry, but, whatever) (Rob’s exactly how I pictured him in Guri’s POV) (and I’m so happy Guri has discovered me because now I can read his blog and be all “Wow, our aesthetics are so similar. This is…weird. And delightful. And your wife has the same name as my husband’s EVIL ex. And she’s the same age as her. And she moved to California back in the 1990s… oh god. Oh no. Nevermind, Guri. We can’t be friends.”

        • Anonymous

          Where have you been, girl? I missed you.

          • GoWithIt

            At work. And it is so not one of those places you can log on to LTT. Really. Open office cubical, plenty of IT people who can log onto your computer at any time. Not to mention plenty of work to keep a gal busy. I am home today because my little boy is sick and home from daycare. I wouldn’t normally be the person to stay home for that even because other family members have more vacation/family days off. I’ll email you a funny work halloween picture if you email me at mpchildrenshouse at gmail.com 

  • TeamSeth

    The Lodge! Wow. Yes!
    I’ve been to Forks… and I’ve TOTALLY been to The Lodge when I was there with RachelB (my sister) (RL it’s called The In Place) (look it up). Last time I went up there with DH and ate at Pacific Pizza (look it up) on Saturday night (it was PACKED) we overheard this convo between 1 ginormous lumber jack and 1 leaner, but worse for the wear older guy:

    OG: Matthew! How have you been?
    LJ: Bill! Great to see you. Doing well, how about you? How is Tina?
    OG: She’s doing better, thanks. And Melissa?
    LJ: She’s great! Kids are 5 and 7 now.
    OG: Wow!
    LJ: Yeah.
    OG: How about this weather huh?*
    LJ: It’s unbelievable. Worked all day and off tomorrow–finally get to enjoy it. Working Labor Day though.
    OG: Well, you have Sunday then. Have a good evening.
    LJ: You too! Good to see you.

    *We managed to visit Olympic NP during a cloudless, mid-60s weather snap. I mean, really? My husband was all, “This is amazing!” and I’m muttering, “This is soooo not normal.”

    Anyway, the food was to be expected (um, disgusting). BUT, the beer, true to PacNW form, was microbrews, bud, Coors, and Vitamin R. #IloveForks!

    AND, we met Charlie Swan!!!!!!!!!! I mean, wow.


    Also, the Swans *all of the sudden* seem to eat at home more in NM and Eclipse movies. I mean, they kind of stop eating, but when it’s implied or shown, it’s not at Carver Cafe. I mean, mostly because Carver Cafe is southeast of Portland on the way to our friend’s farm, but, you know… whatever. They rebuilt both the swan AND cullen house, why not rebuild carver cafe? Chris Weitz LOVES small details. (I’m still confused, Chris. But you’re ridiculous and insecure and I’ll just accept it. #asshole)


    “Good try, but not exactly how it was described in the books.”

    BAHAHAHA. I laugh. A lot.

    • Anonymous

      Ah, there’s the letter I requested above.

  • GoWithIt

    Speaking of, and will probably be a post topic in the next few weeks:
    What are people’s plans for Breaking Dawn watching? I’ve got a dilemma. I want to go to the first showing, on the Thursday night, so I can really be with my people, but I do have work on Friday, and there is less of a chance that I’ll be able to get a possy together. I think my friend is right, the one when presented  with my dilemma said something like  “well are you a fan or not? I can’t believe you’d even consider not going to the first available showing!”

    • Anonymous

      She’s right. You have to go at midnight. You just do. It’s sort of fun being that woozy the next day. Relive your college days!

      I’ve already got my tickets, and I am dragging 2 others with me, one of whom is pregnant. I don’t care, she’s going.

      Which brings up another subject: What kind of inappropriate saying should I freezer print on a maternity shirt for her? I think I mentioned once that I was just going to make paw prints on the belly. Any other ideas?

      • The Old One

        Pawprints is so excellent, why look further!

      • GoWithIt

        It looks like the first showing is actually 10 pm here, which isn’t that bad. 
        Pregnant T-shirt sayings…….seeing as there will be no (small) children present…….”A little help here Eddie?”…….”Vampire sperm, who knew?”…….”If you think I’m hot now, just wait until you see my “after” body”……a combination of her mother in-law and mother’s names…………..

        • TeamSeth

          HAHAHAHA! “A combination of her mother-in-law and mother’s names….” AHHAHAAHHA

      • MariaCecilia

        “Spawn of Satan in the making!”
        “One Reneggme coming up.”
        “Robert Pattinson: impregnating with a stare since 2008.”
        “This is my life now.”

        • TeamSeth

           “Robert Pattinson: impregnating with a stare since 2008.”

          (falls over in giggle fit)

      • GoWithIt

        Since I haven’t found a suitable wedding dress (tear falls down cheek), pregnant belly and themed maternity T-shirt would be a fun costume. If only I hadn’t just gotten rid of all my maternity clothes. 

    • MariaCecilia

      I’m sad face because I will be in NYC on Tuesday when it opens at midnight at home, and back on a plane Wednesday night and miss the US opening.. No Twi-night for me this time, which I guess makes me a Bad Bad Fan?

      • TeamSeth

        That’s cruel, really.

    • TeamSeth

      Eclipse I think was my final midnight going. And that was worth it cuz it was with an LTTer in Africa. I can’t top that. I’m going out on that.

      I love the theater experience though. With the crazies. It’s just so good. It feels so good. #debates

      • TeamSeth

        Maybe I’ll go alone. OR GoWithIt, we can meet up in Seattle? Bellingham? Think about it…

        • GoWithIt

          I’d have to ditch the people I’ve already begged to go with me or extra beg them to come too, but that would be awesome! How would the logistics of that go? Hum…I work 9-5 Mon – Fri, and don’t have very much vacation time left to use. Driving to Bellingham would be doable after getting off from work at 5:00 pm, and I can just lump it Friday morning after watching the movie and driving home that night. Or drive down Friday and stay the night somewhere or just get to sleep in Saturday morning after a late night of movie and driving.

          • GoWithIt

            Or just let go of the idea that it will be the first showing, and make it an easier plan, and go Saturday night. That would be easy, it wouldn’t be a problem getting down to Seattle (2.5 hour about drive from here right?) I’d be a bit nervous about driving in the evening, not knowing the traffic and border wait after work.

          • Anonymous

            I would ditch everyone to go with TS (team Seth) if I were you

          • GoWithIt

            Even if you’d already begged them up, down and sideways to go with you? No, no, I will make it happen if you are up for it TS! I would even be willing to go see it twice in a span of a week, because I really doubt my friends care which day they see it.

          • TeamSeth

            SQUEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            Okay, yes, Seattle for you is 2ish hours and for me is 3ish hours. I’m down with the Saturday. As long as we’re together, it won’t matter when we go. BUT you have to bring me some Nando’s. There’s one in downtown VanCity…I wanna say like 4th? 5 blocks up from the water, west of the main I-5 bridge into town. #nothelpfulsorry

            I have a friend in Seattle who may or may not let us stay with her (depending on her workload, she’s in Pharmacy school, and her hubs workload, they sometimes work on weekends) OR we could do a matinee and then just both drive in and out?  I’m so game.

            How do you feel about boxed wine?

          • Anonymous

            God. I am so jealous :(

          • Anonymous

            Don’t forget the secret handshake (I know we discussed it one day but I can’t remember what we settled on).

          • GoWithIt

            Who wouldn’t feel good about boxed wine? I know both Nando’s locations, not to worry. My husband and I used to go there all the time when we lived in the West End. We learned a very important lesson after eating Nando’s one time. No spicy chicken and then oral sex. Not a good combination in practice. 

          • TeamSeth

            (writes this down)

    • Sisterpenguin

      Had to choose between 00:01GMT on my own in Worcester (not the prettiest) or 19:00 with a bunch of my gals. 
      I’ve gone for the giggle option. Twilight’s for sharing n’est pas?

      • TeamSeth

        Ouais! C’est vrai.

  • Anonymous

    Anyone got to see the twilight tattoo collection from People? I thought that was sweet in a second hand embarrassing way.

    • GoWithIt

      No, but that is now number one on my Google agenda. *Opens up catalogued Googling agenda.

    • GoWithIt

      Twilight Tattoos..I like that they exist. I don’t think I could do it, unless it was really low pro. Inside jokes only. I’m not generally a fan of text tattoos. I’ve seen a few that I like, but they have been so popular lately, and most are not that attractive. If I was a better (crazier) fan I would get:
      a purple-ish bruise and a feather 
      Text: You give me everything just by breathing. Thanks for the breath, Breathy Breatherson. 
      Text: The stuttering you can’t leave me speech Bella gives Edward in the hospital. Hot.
      Black, white and red sperm swimming up my inner thigh ftw

      • Anonymous

        I will PAY YOU to get black, white and red sperm swimming up your inner thigh. Epic.

        One of mine is “inspired” by the Eclipse cover, but really only I know. It’s just swirly. Sneaky.

        • GoWithIt

          I think only a very drunken night out would make that happen. 
          And I think I don’t think I’d want eye rolls from my husband ever time I got naked. 

          • Anonymous

            I can do Drunken Night!

          • TeamSeth

            Annnnd I read this as “Only on a drunken make out would that happen”

            What were we saying about expectations regarding NutSlut?

          • Anonymous

            Expectations, nothing. I *guarantee* drunk make outs if any one of you gets that tattoo.

      • TeamSeth

        Speaking of low pro things… I was at the toy store today with my coworker who was purchasing a dinosaur set for his 3 y/o nephew’s bday next weekend, and while we were waiting for them to gift wrap it (for free! score!) I was looking at the giant collection of stuffed animals.

        What did I spy with my little eye? NOT ONLY was it a unicorn, it was a unicorn that looked like AN ALPACA!!!!!!!!

        I may purchase it to bring to Sleepless in Seattle Headboard 2011 with GoWithIt.

        • Anonymous

          Oh My God I want an AlpacaCorn! (my birthday is next week. have I mentioned? I have a list if you want to see it.)

          I was at a consignment sale and saw a Pocket Jacob, which I considered, but I don’t really want a Pocket Jacob, even though it was shirtless which is FUNNY. Also it was still $15.

          Actually I still want this as my pocket Edward: http://www.amazon.com/FunKo-2302-Funko-Myers-Plush/dp/B004BQBTW2

    • Anonymous

      I’m just glad that crazy Asian grandma wasn’t in the collection.

  • Nettie

    The Meadow scene. One of the BEST chapters of the book, yet totally absent from the movie (except for the brief eye#*@#  scene in Twilight where they lie down together in a grassy spot). 
    And then there’s one of the other best chapters in the book was the conversation E & B had in the Italian restaurant and the drive home- what a huge disappointment in the movie these “scenes” were! A quick rushed convo at a table where B huffs & puffs constantly, while E sounds like a stalker and outs the freak who’s thinking “CAT”.
    FAIL, Cathi Hardi. FAIL.

    • TeamSeth

      YES! I love that she figures it out on her own. That the search of vampires brought up nothing relevant and was more like a bunch of reasons men gave their wives for having an affair. “The vampire made me do it.”  Right.  And Edward’s all “Hm.”  And they have the “Built in speed radar” inside joke!!!! SO CUTE.

      #Tyler’ssayingwe’regoingtopromtogether

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