We saw Breaking Dawn and we are Fade to Sad-isfieid

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**BREAKING DAWN REVIEW COMPLETE WITH SPOILERS DUH!!! DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN BD AND DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED!**

Forever is only the beginning

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Remember when we said Eclipse was a real movie last July? Well we hadn’t seen you yet. That’s right, just like fine wine and George Clooney, Twilight keeps getting better with age. And with age comes wisdom… here’s what we’ve learned from Breaking Dawn

Things we learned from Breaking Dawn:

  • If we hold hands in public it’s for two reasons: we are either 2nd hand embarrassed at all the Robsten fans squeeling at any kiss/hand hold/dadward/sex scene or we were genuinely scared or grossed out. Cause that happens in this. BD is NOT for the faint of heart.
  • Forget Bella, Edward and Jacob the REAL love triangle of Breaking Dawn is Sue, Charlie and Billy. Cause for realzzzz yall something is going on with the parents. Breaking Dawn has something for every age… There’s still hope after 40!
  • Becoming a vampire means instant boob job, shiny shiny Ashley Greene type hair and a permanent smoky eye. Oh and not to mention the blood red crazy eyes. You think someone will ask for this on Dr. 90210 next season?
  • Twilight movies can be funny for the RIGHT reasons no longer are Bella and Edward going on a drug trip in the Pacific ocean or slow-mo forest running in Anne of Avonlea clothes, there are moments like the wedding toasts which make you LOL because it’s really funny or when BooBoo Stewart and Taylor Lautner have actual funny Big Brother/Little Brother interaction.

His name's BooBoo... yea I know I don't get it either

  • Speaking of BooBoo Stewart, he had more lines in Breaking Dawn than Kellan has had in all the Twilight movies combined. And his name is BOOBOO. Time to get a new agent Kellan.
  • The CGI team used to create the wolfpack earned overtime concealing Kristen’s buttcrack because her gorgeous dress was cut so low in the back. Who knew butt cleavage would be the new IT thing in wedding fashions? Thanks Carolina!
    .
  • Give Jackson ANY word it doesn’t matter he will throw that faux Texas accent on it and add the Elvis lip curl and make it into a one word stand up comedy routine. We’re still trying to figure out if this is an intentional choice by him or just dumb luck.

Peter sucks at Rock, Paper, Scissors

  • Someone will ALWAYS get shafted and be wearing some sort of heinous wig on their head. Unfortunately, Peter Facinelli drew the short straw this time and to make matters worse, I’m pretty sure his hair line changed in every scene as if the bleached dead animal on his head was taking it last gasps of air before it gave in to it’s inevitable future: lying on top of Mike Dexter’s head.
  • Taylor deserves an award for making the imprinting scene less creepy than we thought it would come off and thank you Bill for showing Renesmee as an adult so everyone else would get it and Chris Hansen could stop hiding in the movie theater broom closet and sit down and enjoy the movie like the rest of us.

Can you not read my lips?! LISTEN CAREFULLY!!

  • Wolves fighting with each other via mind reading is confusing and weird for people not in the know maybe they could have had a fist fight on First Beach or an angry G-chat session instead so I didn’t have to explain what was going on to the super confused couple next to me.
  • Housekeepers in Brazil are super rude and stare a lot… especially when they think their employer is a blood sucking demon. However, the blood sucking demon offers great benefits and a 401k so they keep their mouths shut and keep bringing the eggs.
  • Critics may pan you and haters may hate but ya know what? This ain’t for them. They don’t KNOW Bella and Edward like we do, they aren’t invested like we are. These movies are for us… and the boyfriends and unicorns we drag along with us.
  • The heardboard scene still makes me laugh. HARD.

Babe, let's sleep in tomorrow and go to the 2nd service

  • You know what makes losing your virginity to a preternaturally strong vampire better? Losing it while a song fit for the contemporary service on a Sunday morning plays in the background! For reals though, best song and best scene. Sleeping at Last gets a big HALE YES from us.
  • Speaking of Breaking Hymen, REALLY Bella losing your virginity to a 107 year old virgin was the best night of your life? Maybe the best 50 seconds of your life. Or maybe you’ve got your rose colored glasses on and are romanticizing it a bit.

We do have to say though: Stephenie, thank you (from the bottom of our easily 2nd hand embarassed hearts) for stepping in and not letting them make a Robsten Porno out of the honeymoon sex scenes. THANK YOU!!! It was just right, not too much and not too little… it was perfectly executed so consider us fade to sad-isfied!

Really we loved it… and can’t wait to see it again (and again… and probably again with 10 other people) and then we’ll do some more in depth reviews.

GO SEE BREAKING DAWN! NOW!
Moon & UC

PS See more Breaking Dawn Black Carpet coverage at LTR today! I get Rob-blocked by a certain someone!

PPS Go visit VH1’s Fablife to see yours truly featured as their Super Fans! And Comment!!!

So did you see it?!  WHAT DID YOU THINK!? Favorite scene? Any laughable moments?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

  • Darkbook108

    I loved when Edward read Reneesme’s mind for the first time. I just felt like that was such a sweet fatherly moment when he finally started to realize that his child was not a monster. Also, I think the fact that it was not really specified that Bella was still alive and Edward was sitting there with her like a delirious husband was quite sweet in the saddest ways possible. The flashbacks in all shapes and sizes made me smile like the fan-girl that I am. I missed the Aro scene!! :O I think I need another viewing just for that end scene. :D

  • I’ve been Robbed

    Loved it.  Rob and Kristen did an amazing job.  Loved the wedding and honeymoon.   Yes, the wolf communication was strange, but the rest was great.  Well, I could have done without seeing Bella actually throw up, usually the sound effects and body language are enough!

    Did anyone notice how much Bella looked like her mother, as she just started to age when she discovered she was pregnant?  There was one shot of her face that just took me right to previous scenes with her mother.  I never really noticed that resemblance before.

    • Anonymous

      Love your name!

  • Amy_k_444

    I know it wasn’t just me, but I was actually nervious while watching this movie. There were so many crutial parts that I was crossing my fingers that they didn’t mess up and I was so happy when I saw that they didn’t.

    I think this is my favorite Twilight movie to date. They did it perfectly.

    My Favorites
    – Honeymood sex scene (whoot whoot!! finally!! and it was done with class)
    – The speaches were awesome. Makes me remember why I’ve always been Team Charlie (and Jessica was epic) LOL
    – Imprinting scene… Oh man. I was actually worried for poor Jacob (Taylor). I loved seeing grown up Renesme
    – Making fun of Renesme’s name. I’m so glad they did this. I mean come.on. We’re all thinking it

    The Not So Great Parts:
    – I thought the boys talking about they bachelor party and getting excited about Mountain Lions was a bit silly
    – The painting in Bella’s room (I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one to notice this)
    – Where is Rene’s husband in all this? We see all of the back of his head at the beginning, but I’m pretty sure he was invited to the wedding. I just thought it was weird that we never meet him.

    I’m nit picking now and it’s ruining my BD Part1 high so I’ll stop. Overall, I laughed, I cried (a lot… what’s wrong with me LOL.. is this normal?), and I loved every minute of it.

    • Munkee

      Yes, bachelor party talk.  Very dumb.  Cringe-worthy.

    • Anonymous

      I almost forgot about the making fun of Renesme’s name! I loved that! Did they do that in the book? I can’t remember. Watching it, I felt like they did it for the fans to give us a laugh, and I very much appreciated that.

  • Anonymous

    I can’t wait to see it on my next day off!

    *puts on hand-painted Breaking Dawn jorts*

    :)

  • Anonymous

    Also, anyone else SUPER GLAD that they spared us the scene where Edward asks Jacob to just impregnate Bella later? I wouldn’t have been able to handle that much awkward.

    • Munkee

      Oh man, I was dreading that!!!  Cringing waiting for it.  SO thankful.

    • Anonymous

      Ditto. I kind of hated Edward for that moment in the book, so I was glad it didn’t make it into the movie.

    • ScruffyTaylor

      As the scene began, I turned to my friend and said, “Oh no! Remember this conversation in the book?”
      So glad that they didn’t have to portray that awkward moment in the movie.  I was satisfied with the “promise to kill me when IT kills her” conversation.

  • Lemoody688082

    i thought the CGI wolf scene where Jacob breaks from the pack was just hysterical – the weird way they made their voices sound semi robotic was just too much for me….

  • Youweregone

    I saw it and I loved it! Half an hour before I left the house to go see it I almost had an anxiety attack, I thought, “what if something happens and I don’t get to see it”, I guess I finally lost it after so much anticipation! But that is, of course, totally normal. No cringe wothy moments for me, I actually liked the wolfs communicating, especially when one by one thay started to run after Jacob calling out his name, I haven’t really noticed the”robotic” voices. everything else I loved! Sort of got back the E/B feeling in Twilight. Pretty good acting overall, including that living breathing creature we call a wig on Carlisle’s head. Is it me or is Taytay actually a pretty good actor (remember the change of expression on his face in NM when Bella says “you’re sort of beautiful” and in this one he is again good with nuances I thought) and the way Edward calls out to  Alice as he tries to revive Bella. And I cannot think of anyone else but the Stew for Bella, I feel like thanking her for not ever taking a cynical way to look at a  story which is essentially very melodramatic.

  • Brenn

    I loved her dress.
     I still love Edward.  

    That’s all I’m going to say because I’m polite.   

  • https://me.yahoo.com/a/iNoy11YH1pbU7a.P7bdoq54i3FINJ.8k#6f742 pattygirl

    Bill, I love you! You did justice to the book. The soundtrack  could have been more dynamic. Paramore for BD part 2 !

  • https://me.yahoo.com/a/iNoy11YH1pbU7a.P7bdoq54i3FINJ.8k#6f742 pattygirl

    the best  sequels after Catherine Twilight, Condon channels her a lot.

    Love the wedding dress better than Kate Middleton dress could ever be !

  • https://me.yahoo.com/a/iNoy11YH1pbU7a.P7bdoq54i3FINJ.8k#6f742 pattygirl

    Finally kristen becomes Bella and Rob has the most beautiful skin, kudos for bringing a WFE make up artist  

  • ScruffyTaylor

    Maybe I’m in the minority…but I really thought Taylor did awesome this time around.  Sure, he’s not the greatest when he has to get angry (which, unfortunately is unavoidable since he’s a wolf boy), but some of his lines were great!  Bella: I’m cold. Jacob: I’m on it (scooting over on couch).  Also loved when they asked him what he thought of the name Reneesme.  He did a great job.  My absolute favorite scene was when Jacob/Bella danced at the reception–it was so believeable! Hoping on the DVD will be the scene where Kristen ran after him when they called “cut” screaming, “Jacob wait! I made a mistake!” I’m soooo Team Jacob…well, really it’s Team Taylor!  Whew!  That boy is like a fine wine—-getting better looking with age, and he’s got a lot of aging left to go! Scruffy Taylor makes this 30 year old question why the hell she’s hot for a 19 yr. old! (at least he is of age…that makes me feel better!)

    *Was embarrassed by the wolf-talk scene—thought it was horrible! They could’ve done it by having the pack talk in human form to each other, maybe later at La Push explaining what happened in the “Bow Down to your Master” scene.
    *Felt like most scenes were too short.  If you hadn’t read the books (and judging by most reactions in the theater, most “fans” haven’t), you didn’t know what the heck was going on! As soon as the scene started, it was over. 
    *I LOVE the soundtrack, but for the first half of the movie, it almost felt like a musical.  The wedding scene alone showcased a whole slew of songs…they kept the songs coming.  It got a little show-tuney for me.

    *Love the flashbacks in both clips and songs—love how they incorporated the first three books/movies.
    *Love the imprinting scene–Nessie is a beauty!  Love that we got to see her beyond what the books tell us.
    *Love the toasts!!! Charlie rocked that whole wedding/rehearsal/good-bye scene.
    *Shot out to BOO-BOO Seth!  He was great!!!

    Can’t wait to see it again and again.  Made each sibling (I have 6), mom, and hubby promise to each see it with me–trying to capitalize on my opportunities to see BD#1.  This movie will more than likely mark my first solo movie experience, and I’m okay with that!  Gotta get my fix!

  • Anonymous

    Firstly, overall I loved it!
    Secondly, where were the eggs??
    Thirdly, I had tears in my eyes a lot at the beginning, and then near the end…
    Fourthly, I liked the imprinting a lot – more tears esp when she ‘looked’ at him.
    Fifthly (this is a very long list..) I love, love LOVE where it ended – PERFECT!
    Sixthly, I want to see it again – a lot!

  • cosi bella

    Went to see it with friends last night. 

    The first part of the movie ugh – that horrible Hallmark Channel music..ruined it for me.  There was no “edginess” to it- found myself wistfully thinkng back to the cool/stylish Eclispe Riley in the rain scene – the music, everything  – just great..but THIS? Like some awful daytime soap.

    The lighting and the scenery and OBVIOUS CGI work – again just didn’t LOOK like a ‘big budget’ movie.  A lot of the outdoor scenes LOOKED like they were shot indoors… found myself missing the blue-ness of even the first Twilight Movie.

    Part of my fascination with the whole saga has been the  ‘coolness’ of the movies.

    Once they stopped playing that awful sappy music it got better for me.

    Still for me, this movie has kinda killed the magic of the Saga for me….:(

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