Hey guys: GET OVER IT!
Dear George Takei and everyone else who likes to hate on Twilight,
CC: Person who runs Reasoning with Vampires
Every late night chat show joke writer
“TRUE” Sci Fi fans
Half of Comic Con’s attendees
Disgruntled boyfriends and husbands
Friends who don’t “get it”
GET OVER IT.
First, I know this is for fun and jokes and I’m sure you, George probably didn’t write this and you’re just reading lines that someone who’s never read Twilight and has probably never seen it either wrote but has an axe to grind because they’re writing lines for a “George Takei brokering star peace” video and not sitting back counting money from their best selling novels and films. It’s not this video that bugs me, this is just essentially the straw that broke the camel’s back because you perpetuate all the things misinformed people say about Twilight. Be it angry nerds at Comic Con, joke writers on shows, dumb friends I have, whatever. Cause here’s the thing… IT DOESN’T MATTER! No one in the Twilight fandom is trying to shift the axis of the Sci Fi/Fantasy/Nerd world you all hold so dear. No one is trying to say Twilight is Shakespeare for a new generation. No one is trying to say every little nuance or idiosyncrasy in Twilight makes sense and fits within the cannon and lexicon of the genre. Cause ya know what? It doesn’t matter because why? Because it is fantasy it’s all a story someone made up!
Fantasy is a genre of fiction that commonly uses magic and other supernatural phenomena as a primary element of plot, theme, or setting. Many works within the genre take place in imaginary worlds where magic is common. (via Wikipedia)
By definition this shit doesn’t have to conform to your preconceived notion of what fantasy or SciFi is and isn’t because, guess what – IT ISN’T REAL!!!
We all have our things that are weird, it doesn’t have to make sense but we like it and it’s ours. Surely you George like some weird shit, you were on STAR TREK for goodness sake. There was an episode with Tribbles and your uniforms had RICK RACK on them. And person running the Reasoning with Vampires Tumblr where you mind numbingly point out the grammatical errors in Twilight, you need to find a new way to spend your time. And yea, I realize the absurdity of someone who writes a Twilight blog telling you that, but at least I acknowledge my absurdity and have fun with it. Instead of dissecting Twilight down to it’s dangling participles and adverb misusage you should go out and write your own best selling book series, sell the film rights and then we can talk ad nauseum about the usage of “irrevocably.” Also, please dissect my awful usage of grammar, spelling and punctuation while you read this, that will make all my AP English teachers, the 32 I got on the ACT, and all the college lit and english classes I tested out of VERY happy.
To all chat show joke writers, bloggers and any “real” critic who’s written a review about Twilight or friends who post on Facebook. Your jokes are OLD. At this point they aren’t in High School anymore, Edward is not her BOYFRIEND, no one has FANGS. CATCH UP! Sure there’s some “moping” but what good story didn’t ever have moments of introspection, self doubt or flat out angst? Besides all the good jokes are about their vampire baby and her future boyfriend now, duh. And yes, we know they sparkle in sunlight. It’s a thing, we KNOW. If you’re gonna make fun of Twilight at least try actually reading the books or watching the movies to get some new material instead of recycling someone else’s bits from 2008.
Comic Con attendees – We’re all there waiting around to listen to panels about nerdy shit, no one is more cool or less cool than anyone at Comic Con, that’s the great thing about it! I don’t give you shit for waiting in line to talk to the guy who inked an issue of the Superman comic 50 years ago or the fact you’re wearing a realistic Centaur costume that has movable parts in public, so don’t give me shit for hitting up the Twilight panel before I go watch the upcoming footage from Spiderman. Oh and guess what, I like Twilight. I also like Star Wars, Comic Books that have been turned into films (and you’ve had a LOT of bad ones), costumes, Lord of the Rings, Walking Dead, Dexter, True Blood, Star Trek (the original version with YOU, George Takei), Harry Potter and graphic novels. Yes, us Twilight fans (and the human race) can like multiple things at once, THAT YOU LIKE TOO. SHOCKING.
Back to you George and this “…there are no great stories, characters or profound life lessons to be had in Twilight…” Ok, I’m down for some jokes, poking fun, and having a good time but when you come at it like that? I don’t think so. Clearly, you haven’t read the books so you just don’t know. But because you don’t know doesn’t mean you can flat out say there are no profound life lessons, characters or stories. Just by the fact we’re talking about this, this blog exists and you made that video, means it’s a great story. It’s captured the imaginations and lives of millions of people who have bought the books and lined up for the movies. We get emails daily about how lives have been changed because of Twilight. We’re two examples right here along with countless others who have shared their stories. As for great characters you’ve obviously never met the flawed Edward Cullen or the selfless Jacob Black or the tragic Leah Clearwater and for that I just feel sad for you. That leaves us with profound truths. If loyalty to family and friends, courage to go against something you don’t believe in and love above all else aren’t profound truths then I don’t know what they taught you in literature and philosophy class.
Going back, I get that this video is a joke and you and everyone else are just saying this stuff for a little air time in the hopes of remaining culturally relevant. I get that. My issue is that you perpetuate the dumb jokes, misinformed opinions and the stereotype that Twilight fans are dumb and this story has no merit. Sure, I poke fun at Twilight all the time but at the heart of it I am a fan and I know that under the funny stuff ARE great stories, characters and profound truths. I do want the best for the series, I also want some of the weird stuff to be changed on screen to make it “work” better, but do I hang my life, hobbies and sanity on it? NO! The little things are what make this FUN! And THAT’S what I think some of you are missing from your lives, a little fun. Shit is NOT THAT SERIOUS. We all don’t have to like the same stuff, we all don’t get to “get it” but at least be interesting, do your research and get new material. Your jokes and critiques are TIRED. And plus… there’s always the reboot.
Live long and prosper,
PS to the Anne Rice’s and Stephen King’s of the world… we get it you are also best selling authors and have something to say… conveniently when a camera is on or when you’re writing a column but whatever. This applies to you too, go write some more amazing novels and stop worrying about what other people are doing or how they’re writing.
Are you as over IT as I am? I mean sure go ahead make jokes but at least come up with something we haven’t heard that is halfway true, am I right??