Friday Funnies

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Dear Twilight,

I was doing a little new years cleaning in our email inbox, hoping there was something interesting to share and, well, there was! In fact a few things. I never know how to categorize the random things that we receive that deserve to be shared but aren’t really “enough” to demand an entire blog post. But today it came to me: Friday Funnies. Yep, it’s JUST like Monday Fridays, except on Friday. Brilliant, right?

First up, a note (one of many we received this holiday season!) for Stephenie Meyer. Important to note, it’s from a girl:

Its the most buitful time of the year

Lights fill the streets spreading so much cheer

I should be playing in the winter snow

But I’mma be under the mistletoe

-Justin Bieber

Someone wants to be a fake lesbian with Stephenie (someone ELSE, I mean)

Sister Penguin shared this hilarious Facebook mocking with us:

Twi-mocking on Facebook

Remember when THIS was a thing:

Dear Stephenie,
I’ve totally forgotten about Midnight Sun. You could release it today and I wouldn’t care. Probably wouldn’t read it anyway. So over it. I never google it anymore to see if it’s been released and somehow I missed it. I’ve given up. My google finally broke anyway. So now would be the perfect time for it not to be written.

Sincerely,
Not going to read it so please don’t bother

P.S. Please don’t be offended. It just wasn’t meant to be.

“Twilight Artist” painted the stuff in the Cullen House

twilight-artist-gregory-kingAnd sadly (for us. happy for him) it’s not 2nd-hand embarrassing. My real life artist friend sent me something that the “Twilight” artist, Gregory King, emailed:

I have had an unusual thing come my way recently that I’m excited to share with you. Many of you may know already, but several paintings of mine were recently rented by the company behind “Twilight”, the crazy worldwide hit film saga, to be used as set decoration in their “Cullen House” location (where the vampire family lives). Yep, pretty wild. Set decorator David Schlesinger contacted me in late 2010 about it, and I worked with him to select nine pieces in total, which were hung throughout the house.
Now that’s pretty cool- and major exposure for the artists, but does that SURPRISE YOU? Set directors get NEW art for the walls in their movies? I mean.. I just assumed they went to Home Goods or something & picked out something cheap for the walls! All this time I could’ve been perfecting my artist skills & hung my masterpieces next to ROB.

And lastly, because my Christmas Tree is still up (looking sad & dry) and I just can’t say good-bye to the Holidays yet, Reasons Edward Cullen is like Santa

edward-claus-the-movie2

This is an OLDIE (From 2009) but goodie that was sent to us this Holiday season by LTT friend Bethany. Don’t miss the entire thing, but here are my favorite reasons why Edward Cullen is like Santa Claus:

4.) They both like deer.

11.) Or any one of the eleventy thousand Twilight Moms in North America, any number of whom, you just know, have Edward stockings hung by the chimney with care, right next to the cookies for Santa, who, did I mention? Sneaks into houses at night.

And I know I KNOW! There’s going to be a Twilight  MUSICAL.  Do you know how badly I wish I wasn’t going to be in Orlando (I could stop right there..) and missing the showing? We are still working on the perfect way to share our feelings about this new musical

Happy Funny Friday!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What are you doing New Years Eve this weekend? (Speaking of NYE- are you ‘shipping Zooey & “Joe” as much as I am?)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store
  • Anonymous

    I’m loving that list… my favourite is #9 Alice vs the elves.

    I did point out to my ‘friend’ who shared the FB pic that it’s a weird face slam that picks a point half-way through a book but I was wearing tweed at the time. Still didn’t stop me laughing

    • Anonymous

      I saw the FB thing, too, and I saw that it was shared by George Takei. Srsly, Sulu? Get over it.

      • Anonymous

        No joke.  I’m on the verge of deciding he’s a unicorn in deep, deep denial he doth protest so much.

        • Anonymous

          Agree! Although, gay dudes tend to be Team Jacob…maybe he’s bitter about how it all went down?

          The whole thing upsets me, as I do usually like Sulu. So misguided.

          • Anonymous

            I’ve got Trekkie friends who have paid for photo-ops with him at Dragon Con who say he’s the nicest man ever.  It’s just such blatant attention-grabbing pandering.

          • Anonymous

            he does seem nice, and smart and funny. but yeah, what you said. *shrug* Maybe everyone will start hating on Hunger Games or something and leave us alone soon?

          • Anonymous

            More like we’ll get another hating crowd, like the Potter kids.

          • Anonymous

            uurrrrgghh…..

  • Anonymous
    • nocoolname

      Oh my gosh, funniest thing EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!  Seriously cannot stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!

    • nocoolname

      fyi – STILL FUNNY.  Just checked it out again.

      • Anonymous

        hee hee. I love that gif. cracks me up.

        • Anonymous

          Loving it! Is that from Strangelove? That would fit in soooo many ways

          • Anonymous

            It is. I got the gif from this site. it has a bunch that are good: http://youmightlikethis.com/2011/12/essential-kubrick-animated-gifs/

          • Anonymous

            Comment section got weird and skinny and untypable down by the Shiver conversation, so I will say, up here, that the whole series Just! Gets! Better! I have developed an unhealthy crush on Cole (have you met Cole yet? He may be book 2. Gah.) She has a stand alone book called Scorpio Races, too, that I just finished. She’s amazeballs. <3

          • http://www.kstewartnews.com KStewBoy

            Thanks, Marble.  Shiver is next up on the list for the Mrs. and myself (thank you, Santa)

          • Anonymous

            Just met Cole. Hmm. Interesting… The piles of books that I want to read are mounting. I could make foundations for a new house

          • Anonymous

            I have terrible taste in men. #badboysareHAWT

          • Anonymous

            Yeah snap. You don’t wanna hear the body count

          • Anonymous

            Preach, girl.

    • Anonymous

      That is the bestest! And very much THE look.

    • Anonymous

      You have a tumblr MNS?

      • Anonymous

        I don’t, but I have been thinking about it. Because I need to be on social media *more* than I already am. #sarcasmfont.

        But, no I really have been considering it. Le sigh.

        • http://www.kstewartnews.com KStewBoy

          Your fans are waiting…

          • Anonymous

            Ha! Like tumblr needs more porn…
            still, it could be good for my actual work as well. hmmm…does anyone have a time machine or that thing that Hermione used to do a million things at once?

          • Anonymous

            Tumblr? Oh lord baby J. Something else to keep track of? Ah for the days when the remote control for the Betamax was connected by a cord… (I’m lying, I loves me mowdurn tech)

          • Anonymous

            I long for the day when I can finally just install a plug in the back of my neck and upload all the porn…I mean information, that I want to.

          • Anonymous

            I don’t want the plug, it’d ruin the hairline. WiFi all the way baby with live streaming of Game of Porn (sorry, Thrones) 

          • TeamSeth

            Wow, that made me go all sci-fi with the concept of being hacked into…but it’s your brain, not a computer. So if you get “shut down” it’s forever.

          • Anonymous

            it’s possilble I just read a book where a girl gets a jack in her head and it’s aweomse.

          • Anonymous

            Title?

      • Anonymous
        • Anonymous

          You want amazeballs? People are already getting chips stuck in their brain – check this out: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/apr/17/brain-implant-paralysis-movement?INTCMP=SRCH

          It’s great stuff for people like a friend of mine who’s a quad but a chip’s only as good as the person who programmes it. That’s what scares me.

          That and an alien being stuck into your brainstem…

          • Anonymous

            I think that is so cool. Not the alien thing. I don’t want the alien thing, no matter how shimmery.

          • Anonymous

            Ahhhhh i want another Host book.

          • Anonymous

            Not with that ending I don’t. Really enjoyed it until then.

          • Anonymous

            You mean you don’t like how Stephine handled Wanda’s situation or the last scene where they find another human party with thier pet soul or are you making an attempt at a reverse psychology trick? Beacause seriously i can’t tell anymore. :

          • Anonymous

            No tricks promise (not at that time in the morning). Didn’t like how Wanda’ situation was handled. Felt it was all a bit Hollywood (no offence to anyone…)

        • Anonymous

          Thanx!

  • http://www.kstewartnews.com KStewBoy

    UC, I am totally shipping Zoey and JGL!  That’s actually the first time I’ve ever used the word “shipping” in a sentence that was not meant to describe package delivery.  The New Girl would be great show if they re-cast all the guys.  They are very annoying.  Zoey should be transferred to the cast of 2 Broke Girls – now THAT would be a show.

    • Anonymous

      aww. congrats. welcome to the world of ‘shipping.

      • Anonymous

        You old-youngsters and your lingo. No idea how “shipping” is being used here. Going to guess wanting to get bang trims with. Wanting to write alt-country-pop songs with. Wanting to share names (but not spellings) with. 
        Wait. Without Google-ling (I’m Google-ed out for today). I think I got it. Shipping as in Friendshipping? Like I would super dig being friends? Or when you like you are a kid, friend so much but you don’t live in the same area and so you make a plot to ship each other in suitcases or dog crates to visit to save money and or run away from home?

        • TeamSeth

          You are SO CLOSE. Actually, back in the day (sometime in the last 2.45 years, i.e. when I cared about twilight and read LTT) I looked up what “shipping” meant. Because I too was befuddled, confounded, unsure of what it possibly could mean. UPS? DHL? USPS? NO.

          At first, and for a long time, I thought shipping was short for “worshiping” as in, “I worship Robsten”  But that was WRONG. Shipping is in reference to “relationship” as in “I ship Robsten.” as I in “I support the relationSHIP of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart and believe wholeheartedly that they are together and should be together forever.”

          Scary, I know. But that is what shipping means. Robsten is an example…shipping can refer to anyone, such as Brad Pitt and Angela Jolie or Taylor Lautner and Ryan Gosling. Oh wait, did I say that? ;)

          • Anonymous

            Ooou, I was close. If I had just paid more attention to the fact that he was mentioning two people I couldn’t have gotten there. I am not familiar with that show. I have not been able to watch the sitcom revival that has been going on. 

    • nocoolname

      Are you kidding?  I love Schmidt!

      • http://www.kstewartnews.com KStewBoy

        Really!  Schmidt is the worst.  I reach for the remote every time he comes on the screen… but the Mrs. thinks he’s funny – I really don’t get it.  And he’s always got his shirt off, showing his moley body.  Ugh.  And they need to ‘tart up’ Zoey a bit more.  She’s saucy under all that innocence, I just know it.

        • Anonymous

          It’s all coming out now. Definitely a brunette fetish (shows good taste).

          New Girl starting over here tonight. PVR ready and waiting

          • http://www.kstewartnews.com KStewBoy

            Kristen, Zoey and Kat Dennings.  Does that prove a brunette fetish?
            No — but throw in Natalie Portman, Rachel McAdams (when brunette), Anne Hathaway, Ellen Page, Kate Beckinsale, Jen Connelly and Jen Garner — and then you can clearly see I have a problem.
            There.  Now it’s ALL out. *sigh*

          • Anonymous

            It was very gentlemanly of you not to mention your enormous crush on me, too. Your secret is safe with me.

          • http://www.kstewartnews.com KStewBoy

            I am nothing if not a gentleman.  I appreciate your discretion, MNS.

          • Anonymous

            With us.

          • Anonymous

            Right. With us.

          • TeamSeth

            How can one not hardcore crush on Ellen Page? 

            Seriously, you crush on all the girls I fake lesbian crush on. Except Beckinsale, but that’s mostly because I can only think of is Sheen when I see her, and I then immediately forget I was ever a fake lesbian at all and am just focused on sexy Welsh men and my perverse desire to go to Cardiff for vacation in case Captn Jack Harkness is still there. He’s not. It’s depressing.

            How do you feel about Eliza Dushku?

          • http://www.kstewartnews.com KStewBoy

            Eliza is super-sexy.  Too bad she doesn’t appear in more stuff.  I was sad that Dollhouse tanked (even though it was TERRIBLE). 
            Fake Lezbian Crushes (FLC) are just great.  I need more details…

          • Anonymous

            Aside from my FLC on Team Seth (duh) I would straight up *marry* Liv Tyler. Oh my god I love her. There are girls I would maybe giggly make out with once, but Liv? Married. Picket fences. Have you SEEN Empire Records???

          • Anonymous

            Who doesn’t have a FLC on Team Seth?

          • TeamSeth

            I remind of you of Sam?!

          • Anonymous

            Won’t explain it, I know you’ll laugh.

          • TeamSeth

            Well, I have been to Rocky Horror Picture Show in my high school years a bit…

          • Anonymous

            You mean ‘in’ the show?

          • Anonymous

            Oh KSB was thinking of you last night (no, not in that way). You would be lovin’ it over here at the mo: there’s K Stew filums all over the terrestrial tv. I can picture you now “We have to watch it, it’s on tv!”

          • http://www.kstewartnews.com KStewBoy

            Yes, yes??  What movies?  Into the Wild?  Adventureland?  Thanks for the, Sister – I’m going to suggest a movie night tonight…

          • Anonymous

            Adventureland, The Messengers and Catch That Kid all within ten days. KSBoy heaven?

          • Anonymous

            What?! No Cake Eaters? No Speak?

          • Anonymous

            Give’em time. Dang, it’s duo letters again. Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Oolookat allthe iiii’s you can fit

        • Anonymous

          Ok. One episode in and I’m on your side. Schmidt? Meh. 

          • TeamSeth

            I feel like every episode of that show ends the same. I like Zooey, but I feel like she could be so much more than she is in that show.

            I saw her live performing in She and Him and she’s just goregous in RL. But, it doesn’t make me want her to play the New Girl role. Her voice is kind of annoying in that role.

          • Anonymous

            I like Nick, and I like that he secretly likes her. :) I agree with TS that the episodes pretty much end the same, but it is the straight up hilarious things they say while getting there that keeps me watching. Also, it is on between Glee and Raising Hope, which is network brilliance, because I like both those shows and therefore must watch New Girl in the middle.

          • Anonymous

            Hmm. Only just had episode 1 on over here so the enthusiasm is not overwhelming despite the Zooey presence.
            BBC’s new Sherlock on the other hand – fantabulous!!

  • nocoolname

    I must point out that it’s a spoof musical, which I think makes it a billion times BETTER! 

    • TeamSeth

      Gasp. This line is included in the synopsis for part 3. I’m so excited to get home so i can watch this!!!!

      His thirst for humans he has tried to quell,
      But he cannot resist this new girl’s smell!

      I mean, that’s awesome rhyme quality there. CANNOT WAIT.

  • nocoolname

    And ok, forget being fake lesbian with Kristen or Stephenie or Melissa Rosenberg or Nikki or ANYONE – I want to MARRY Zooey Deschanel.

  • Anonymous

    What is this thing Midnight Sun you speak of?  Stephenie seriously thought about writing an EPOV of Twilight?  Rubbish!  Glad that never came to be.  It just couldn’t be done well enough to justify.

    • Anonymous

      Haha! when are you girls going to realize nothing will ever work? we tried EVERYTHING (except death threats, we’re leaving that for the no so NORMAL). Just give it up already. WE ARE NEVER GOING TO READ IT.

      • Vampmedic

        Nooooo we can’t give up.

        • TeamSeth

          Speak for yourself, Vampmedic.  I gave up on Stephenie being able to finish Midnight Sun ages ago. It’s not because I don’t want to read it, because I definitely do–I mean, how could one NOT want to read the meadow scene from his POV or how he REALLY felt when he came “to the end of her scent trail” at the hotel shuttle pick up in the Phoenix airport?–BUT I just don’t think Stephenie will finish it.  I don’t think that she CAN.  She’s so busy with other stuff, and she knows that her fans will be there no matter what… she probably is writing some other Bree-type book that no one really wants to read because she’s over-the-top concerned with finishing Midnight Sun that it’s become too overwhelming.  I imagine her sitting down to her laptop during an all day swim meet for her kids (just go with her sons being avid swimmers), the muggy aquatic center air and the putrid, stingy scent of chlorine and she’s just staring at the open MSWord document thinking, “I HAVE to write this. I HAVE to write this.  OH MY GOD I CANNOT WRITE THIS!!!!!!!!!”  Then she quickly slams it shut and gets up to buy a soda from the table concessions run by the high school kids for a fundraiser and checks her cell phone for any kind of text update. She briefly wonders why she isn’t on twitter and at least she’d have *that* to distract her during this boring all day swim meet–qualifiers for States, kind of a big deal, yet still boring–but she remembers how psycho people are on twitter and smiles to herself, glad she never joined.  She walks back to the bleachers and one of the other moms starts to talk to her about the meet, about school, about what colleges they’re looking at for her oldest and if they’re enrolled in a specific community service program to make sure they can get the scholarship program if the swimming thing doesn’t work out. Stephenie is now wishing she had her laptop open, just so she could escape the overbearing mom conversation.

          See, she’s never going to finish.

          • Anonymous

            And that, madam, is why you write :-))

          • TeamSeth

            LoL… to avoid swim meets? ;)

          • Anonymous

            Don’t forget the part where he tastes her teardrop. Damn, i always wanted to know what he was thinking during that, even before i heard about Midnight Sun.

          • http://www.kstewartnews.com KStewBoy

            I call “Twi Nerd”.  When did he do that?  TNO, you have super-recall abilities.

          • TeamSeth

            I may call it too… something is making me feel like this was a thing Eric Northman did to Sookie in Book 3 at Alcide’s apartment in Jackson.

          • Anonymous

            I wish Eric Northman was here to lick the tiny laughing tear forming in the corner of my eye. I bet he’d be good at it.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah, Eric did that too. Not sure which book, though. I read the whole eleven of them one after the other, so i can’t remember what happens in each book… It’s all a jumble.

          • Anonymous

            Mmmm Eric… Waiting for #13 

          • Anonymous

            I think you mean #12…but yeah, i wish May was here already.
            Maybe i’ll get the companion or the complete short stories to get me through the wait. Have you read any of those?

          • Anonymous

            Sorry, keep counting the short stories as a book. Was really cranky having to read the short stories to get the background on Hadley – I thought I’d missed a big chunk when I reading the books and reread stuff to make sure! *mutter grumble Stephenie wouldn’t have done that mutter mutter*

            Haven’t read the Companion – felt she hasn’t stopped yet so not worth it. 
             

          • Anonymous

            Yeah i thought i skiped something, too. (happens to me a lot)
            I just rolled with it when i was sure i didn’t miss anything.

          • Anonymous

            No super-recall abilities, it’s just that i’ve read the books so many times in my first year of obsession that now just the idea of a re-read makes me feel sick. Anyway, it happens right after she listens to her lullaby for the first time in her first visit to the Cullen’s place.

            If i’m the “Twi Nerd” then i don’t know what all of you guys are doing here. ;)

          • http://www.kstewartnews.com KStewBoy

            You are totally right, dumb comment on my part.  And I’m only on my second re-read (rookie!!), so I should just cool it. :)

          • Anonymous

            Aw, just a baby. Don’t know where I’m up to, stopped counting after 7 (eek!) and narrowly avoided another last night by starting on Shiver (instead of doing my accounts)

          • Anonymous

            7 is fine, really. Still considered somewhat normalish (in my book).

          • Anonymous

            SHIVER! Let’stalk!!!

          • Anonymous

            Just finished. Oooooo. Desperate to start Linger but have to read a book on Chronic Fatigue first (definitely makes you weary)

          • Anonymous

            No, it’s totally fine. OMG!? SECOND!? Sisterpenguin is right,
            You are a baby. I would trade anything to be in your fan-phase again, though.

          • TeamSeth

             If i’m the “Twi Nerd” then i don’t know what all of you guys are doing
            here. ;)

            We’re trying to beat you, DUH! :D

          • TeamSeth

             Okay, so in competition with you for TwiNerd of the day, I did a search in my PDF version of Twilight (yes, I have one; no, I don’t own the physical books. I’m so ninja) and found nothing about him licking her tears (and I searched for “cry” too) Lots of flickering of eyes and thoughts and some slick oil or ice, but no licking. Truly a shame. But I was reminded that 1) bella cries and 2) she cries when she’s angry.

            God I miss the books.

          • Anonymous

            (The song he was still playing, my song, drifted to an end, the final chords shifting to a more melancholy key. The last note hovered poignantly in the silence. 

            “Thank you,” I murmured. I realized there were tears in my eyes. I dabbed at them, embarrassed.

            He touched the corner of my eye, trapping one I missed. He lifted his finger, examining the drop of moisture broodingly. Then, so quickly I couldn’t be positive that he really did, he put his finger to his mouth to taste it.

            I looked at him questioningly, and he gazed back for a long moment before he finally smiled.

            “Do you want to see the rest of the house?”)

            Phew, I knew I didn’t make that up. You trying to get back at me for freaking you out? (btw, I don’t know how I read it 46. Hot sex scenes does that to you, I guess LOL)

            Stephine, this was a good time for you to come out. You could’ve saved me the trouble of the search. And I wouldn’t have had to break my vow not to read your books (Twilight books, I mean. Not that i think you have a new book for us up your sleeve or anything (god forbid), you’re too busy producing other people’s movies… We get it) till the craziness fades. 

            You still think i’m Stephine, TS? x)

          • Anonymous

            I re-read Twilight all the way through a few weeks ago, and  I could not stop thinking about MS. I didn’t think it was  possible to have a new experience with a book on the embarrassingly (but not on this site) high number of re-reads through, but I did. 

          • ladyofthemeadow

            Oh TS, you crack me up. There’s way too much potential RL in your comment. You know, don’t you? Not about Steph, but about life?!

            Agreed, she’s never going to finish Midnight Sun. It would be like going back to a party you’ve already left.

          • Kaybeevee

            When I was camping at the premiere and Stephenie came to hand out signed books I saw someone ask her “Are you going to write any more twilight books?” And I heard her say, “I’m not writing anymore vampire books.” So there you go!!! I wanted to ask her specifically about Midnight Sun but didn’t have the guts…

            Bu I WANT more Midnight Sun. Damnit.

          • TeamSeth

            KBV! You gotta find your guts for next time!!!! We’ll be there to enable you. You’re the celebrity magnet after all.  You draw them in, and we’ll get the bloody answers! (no pun intended, just have been watching a lot of BBC America today)

          • Anonymous

            What answers? She’ll probably just tell you another SpongeBob story. No direct yes/no answers from dear Stephine.

          • Kaybeevee

            But it was weird the day Stephenie came-everyone was so quite and respectful. No shoving or scrambling, just some kind of quiet reverence-seems like such a sweet lady too, I’m so glad people didn’t act like total a-holes.

            Contrast with the day that Kellan came, utter friggin mayhem ridiculousness.

          • ladyofthemeadow

            I can understand being respectful around Stephenie, and utter pee-in-your-pants fangirling for Kellan.

          • Anonymous

            DUDE. MS is written and on a hard drive in a bank vault surrounded by 24 hour armed guards. I would lay money on it.

          • Anonymous

            Everything crossed that it is but I’m guessing it’s in Gringotts

          • Anonymous

            heh.

  • Anonymous

    (pssstt… if you can’t see it live or can’t wait… the musical folks have
    posted several segments on their site. gonna have to wait to watch them at lunch.)

    http://www.twilightthemusical.com/watch.html

    • Anonymous

      You’re a star

  • Merbar

    Thanks for the laugh! Great post.

  • TeamSeth

    “But when was the last time you told your kids that you wouldn’t be letting Santa in the house because love means never watching people when they’re sleeping?”hehehehe

    • Anonymous

      I’m totally making the Santa comparison next time someone tells me Twilight is evil because Edward’s a stalker.

  • Anonymous

    Off topic: guys, guys, guys, i know BD came out like forever ago, but i just realized something (sorry if someone already pointed this out), remember that clip in the trailer where Edward sends Jacob flying across the room and into the wall? Now, i know alot of scenes don’t make it to the final cut, but i still want to know what the hell Melissa was thinking?! How was that scene supposed to unfold? Why did she ever think Edward beating the crap out of Jake will be okay? I know this is Melissa and she just LOVE’S playing around with our beloved characters and making us insane but THIS?! Thank yoy Condon for keeping her in check.

    • Anonymous

      As it was, we got the best of both worlds– exciting trailer shot and not having it in the movie to irritate us.

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