I have found our saviour… the HOPE of our fandom.
Yes, it’s Sheila Hafsadi. And no, I don’t know how to pronounce her last name either. But the face of HOPE she is. No longer is it Barack Obama, but Sheila Hafsadi we can put our future and dreams into. Why, you ask? Because she did what everyone thought was seemingly impossible: hook a Twicast member for life. I know we all thought it was impossible but Sheila’s here to remind us that yes it’s possible. Anyone can go to a 100 Monkeys Concert (though not advised), meet Jackson, get him trashed, jump in the backseat of your Ford Focus with him, get hot and heavy and “oh of course you’re totally on birth control,” get crazy, watch Jackson stumble out of the Focus, then drive off towards the CVS for the pregnancy test you’ll need next month. A month later after it’s confirmed, call him up, drop the hammer, and presto you’re on Summit’s private jet to the European leg of the Breaking Dawn press tour with the girl from Thirteen and that dude from American Idol. I mean really, Sheila makes it all sound so simple, I feel stupid we didn’t think of it first. Only with a less catfish-y cast member. This is what happens when you don’t teach abstinence and birth control at that backwoods “theater” school Jackson went to. BIG MISTAKE!
Now that Sheila’s proven anyone can do it we have a few concerns, first of all if this is only Jackson’s first confirmed child what about the rest of the z list cast? Any cast member’s who’s attended a Twicon in the past could potentially have like 50 illegitimate children out there. So as a precautionary measure we’d think all Twicon giftbags and backstage should be well stocked with condoms otherwise the newly hopeful fandom may get some ideas about the backseats of their Ford Focus’s.
It’s kind of amazing Jackson’s dodged a bullet this long, here’s hoping Mike Welch is “safe” at the next three day Breast Cancer Walk.
Here’s to the new hope in the fandom! We salute you, Sheila! Here, here! *starts chanting* YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!
Wrap it up kids!
Moon and UC
REALLY Jackson?! 4months along?! Anyone? This has to be a happy “surprise” and not planned, right? ANYONE?! And what about Jackson’s Texas living, conservy parents??? Poor Mrs. Rathbone.