Sheila Hafiwhatever – Hope of the fandom

I totally love your music Jackson, I swear. Now do me

Dear Twilighters,

I have found our saviour… the HOPE of our fandom.

Yes, it’s Sheila Hafsadi. And no, I don’t know how to pronounce her last name either. But the face of HOPE she is. No longer is it Barack Obama, but Sheila Hafsadi we can put our future and dreams into. Why, you ask? Because she did what everyone thought was seemingly impossible: hook a Twicast member for life. I know we all thought it was impossible but Sheila’s here to remind us that yes it’s possible. Anyone can go to a 100 Monkeys Concert (though not advised), meet Jackson, get him trashed, jump in the backseat of your Ford Focus with him, get hot and heavy and “oh of course you’re totally on birth control,” get crazy, watch Jackson stumble out of the Focus, then drive off towards the CVS for the pregnancy test you’ll need next month. A month later after it’s confirmed, call him up, drop the hammer, and presto you’re on Summit’s private jet to the European leg of the Breaking Dawn press tour with the girl from Thirteen and that dude from American Idol. I mean really, Sheila makes it all sound so simple, I feel stupid we didn’t think of it first. Only with a less catfish-y cast member. This is what happens when you don’t teach abstinence and birth control at that backwoods “theater” school Jackson went to. BIG MISTAKE!

You guys should totally record a song together. Worked for us!

Now that Sheila’s proven anyone can do it we have a few concerns, first of all if this is only Jackson’s first confirmed child what about the rest of the z list cast? Any cast member’s who’s attended a Twicon in the past could potentially have like 50 illegitimate children out there. So as a precautionary measure we’d think all Twicon giftbags and backstage should be well stocked with condoms otherwise the newly hopeful fandom may get some ideas about the backseats of their Ford Focus’s.

.
It’s kind of amazing Jackson’s dodged a bullet this long, here’s hoping Mike Welch is “safe” at the next three day Breast Cancer Walk.

Here’s to the new hope in the fandom! We salute you, Sheila! Here, here! *starts chanting* YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!


(perfect for printing, hanging and taking tips from)

Wrap it up kids!
Moon and UC

REALLY Jackson?! 4months along?! Anyone? This has to be a happy “surprise” and not planned, right? ANYONE?! And what about Jackson’s Texas living, conservy parents??? Poor Mrs. Rathbone.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTRThe ForumTwitterThe Store

  • NCB

    I’ve been lurking on this site for about a year but this post right here?  end of all of that. Shooting for B list actors is ingenius..don’t know what this girl’s grand plan is but she’ll be only a step awa from Rob access.
    Yes,we can.

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      this makes me so happy..that’s what we try to do. inspire people to come out of lurkdom. next we’re running for office. what an inspirational day for all!

    • Themoonisdown

      YES we grabbed another lurker! 

      YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

      (its means so many things now!)

  • Mel720w

    My first thought was his parents; weren’t they missionaries or something? Oh well. I hope he is happy and not being trapped by Miss Kreep Deville (yes, according to google that was her stage name when she was a burlesque dancer/stripper.) Sunday school fail!

    • Themoonisdown

      “Miss Kreep Deville ”

      oh he’s super pumped about that

  • MariaCecilia

    Hello?! The Twi-fandom knows ALL about birth control! Didn’t we just watch BD1??? Facts learned: Always, always use a condom when humping a good-looking guy even vaguely connected with Twi-dom, or the consequences will be horrendous! You’ll lose your looks! Your wardrobe will deteriorate! Your movements will be restricted and you will end up bleeding and having your body torn open without sedation! (It’s called pregnancy and delivery, people-who-haven’t-read-Twilight-yet.)

  • Michelle

    Wow. 4 Months…doesn’t that put her knocked up at like the BD1 afterparty or something?! Oh Jackson…wow just wow. I guess her hair is well, um…different. Okay I’ll say it. Icky poo. What the heck dude.

    And in other Twi-news…I had YET ANOTHER dream about Robsten. I am over it. I’m always hanging out with them. Carrying Kristen through malls to save her from the freakdom (apparently she IS that small and I have a mommy complex) and hanging out with the lovers. Rob was especially melancholy last night in dreamville…I fully blame it on the Tyler in RM I was watching right before bed. Poor Tyler. I remember being SO excited to tell my friends (who in real life wouldn’t care a bit) that I hung out with HHH. Sigh…

    Has his hair grown out yet??

    • TeamSeth

       Ugh, Michelle! I can relate. I want to joint complain about continually having dreams that don’t even get to “just the tip” with my celebrity crushes.  Yes, I know I’m married and it’s never going to happen, that’s why this is  A DREAM!!!! (that was me yelling at my subconscious, who hates me).  Grumbles.

      Hang in there.  I did have a nice dream the other night in which I got snuggled while attempting to take a photo with him (not Rob, my guy, who no one knows).  It was lovely.  So there is hope… and not just in the form of Sheila.

      • Anonymous

        No one knows your guy? We’re no talking about M.G here? Wait, there’s another one?!

        • TeamSeth

           Shh.  No, I don’t think very many people know him. He’s not like, a big deal or anything. Or that hot, according to some.

          I miss our emails :(

          • Anonymous

            I did NOT say that he is not hot.

          • TeamSeth

             You said you weren’t into him, but not because he was balding. That wasn’t the issue. I didn’t press it. Because he’s beautiful. ;)

    • Themoonisdown

      he shaved it more. check out LTR

  • Anonymous

    What the Hale??  I guess there must be something about the Rath-boner that works… 

    • Themoonisdown

      welcome to RATHBONIAAAA!!!!

      • Anonymous

        Omg. Sprite out the noooose!

  • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

    Is Sheila an attractive lass?  I can’t really tell from these pictures.  The green-gray hair doesn’t do much for me.  The tattoo peeking out from the neck of her shirt gives me the willies.  My manly senses are tingling – and not in a good way. 

    Jackson, Dude – I’m a little disappointed.  For a Twilight B-lister and Rock-scene D-lister, you could do so much better.

    Now how do I take Sheila’s strategy and work it into my life?  Hmmm, that requires some further thought.  Kristen needs to make more public appearances where she mingles with middle-aged men.

    • Anonymous

      How about with old men who call Adele “too fat”? 
      http://www.graziadaily.co.uk/fashion/archive/2012/02/01/caption-this–kristen-stewart-gives-the-middle-finger-on-a-shoot-with-karl-lager.htmI'm guessing I know someone who’ll be buying up all the Vanity Fairs ;)

      • Anonymous

        I read your comment while ‘set fire to the rain’ was playing on my ipod… just sayin’.

        • TeamSeth

           “And I threw us into the flame!”  Yay, I love to listen to that song while I walk to the bus.  It’s such a great walking song.

          • Anonymous

            I love the way she says “here” in that song. It’s nothing like Hayley’s here of course (or yours for that matter, yeah i just re-read that post yestrday) but i still like it.

      • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

        SisterPenguinos, normally I would indulge you in some fun Lagerfeld banter, but there’s quite a hornets nest going on down below (which you seem intent on poking with a stick) – and I’d much rather stand back and watch from a safe distance with my beekeeper helmet on.  You go, girlfriend.
        …oh – and how many copies shall I pick up for you?

        • Anonymous

          I’ve got my smoke can with me and I’m after that hornet-sting mouth on the cheap.

          You can treasure the copies yourself, I’ll just get frock envy

    • TeamSeth

       I will pretend to be your daughter, KStewBoy.  Then we can go to a twincon together and I’ll *have to meet* KStew.  She’s my idol (as your daughter that is, not like, in RL).  And then you can put on the moves and I’ll quietly slip away to a smirk-off with Charlie Bewley and make fun of Guri for smoking while signing a copy of my book for him (yes, I know there aren’t any printed copies) (this is fictional).

      I think it could work. I mean, yes, I am 26, so we’d have to put me in some serious youth clothes, and I’d really need to get those bangs (fringe?) that all the kids have these days, and straighten my hair out, and maybe paint my nails a fun color like black with silver on it.  But, we can make this happen.  I have faith that I can pull off being 16 for long enough to fool Kristen into putting her arm around you.  (nods)

      • TeamSeth

         twicon*  not twin con. That’d just be weird.

        • Anonymous

          Oh, I dunno…

      • Anonymous

        “and I’d really need to get those bangs (fringe?) that all the kids have these days”

        These days? Seriously?
        TS, you do realize how old you sound, right? We need to work on that or KStewBoy’s dreams is no where near coming true.

        • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

           If TS is old – at 26, then I am in deep trouble.  Sure she could pass as my daughter.  I was very sexually active at age 12 *cough*.  Seriously – Kristen may eventually have her fill of these young boys (this one in particular at least) and start looking for someone more “manly”.
          …well, maybe not more manly, but older at least.
          And TS, we will all come to the eventual “Cusp-Con” for our autographs.  You just wait.

          • TeamSeth

             OMG Cusp-Con sounds so dirty!!!!

            I can’t wait to be that boring author with an awesome husband (who is older than YOU, KSB!)  As long as we don’t have to hold a prom at my cons.  That seriously creeps me out.

            Are you coming to BD2012 Premiere, KSB? (forces your head into a nod)  It’s going to be phenomenal.

          • Anonymous

            Oooh yeah, Cusp-Con bring it on

          • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

            Um – BDII 2012 Premiere in LA would be a dream for me… but I have
            about as much chance as attending that as being the first person to play
            hockey on the moon.
            But Cusp-Con, now there’s another story!
            TS, your hubby is older than me?!  That is very cool.
            I think I’m going to have a great day today :)

          • Anonymous

            If we could just gloss over all this age business (I’ve just moved up a tick-box on the survey forms)…

            It’s reminded me of something that bugs me from New Moon: Bella turns 18, Renée was 19 when she birthed so Granny would have been in her mid-60’s tops. Why was she so wizened? Related to Bardot or what?

          • TeamSeth

             “Hello, my name is Chris Weitz. I only read New Moon.”

          • Anonymous

            you’re so not in trouble. I’m the kid here, remember?

            Cusp-Con! That’d be so cool. I wouldn’t miss it for anything (hopefully).

        • TeamSeth

           Sure, sure. I’ll go find my picture with my similar emo bangs haircut from 2005.  maybe YOU should just pretend to be his daughter. (sticks out tongue at you, young one)

          • Anonymous

            Save your emo bangs hair cut picture. If you’re gonna send me anything, it better be those wedding pictures i died waiting for.

          • TeamSeth

             Oh noes! (scrambles to do so)

          • TeamSeth

             sent!

    • Themoonisdown

      I help your man senses- I think shes attractive for sure! Something that seems super normal about her. Hence why she’s the HOPE 

      • Anonymous

        She is pretty, but super normal? Really? I defs did not get that vibe. I mean they met at one of his concerts, didn’t they? (sorry monkey fans)

        Oh wait, do you mean LTT Normal? Man, it’s been so quiet around here, I almost forgot the REAL definition. ;) I think I agree with you in that case.

  • Anonymous

    Can I do kellan? Please?

    • Anonymous

      Wait. Scratch that. DIBS on kellan!

    • Anonymous

      Yes, yes you can. And you get to wash your cloths on his abs afterwards, too. It’s open season on the Twi-B list celebs apparently.

    • Themoonisdown

      GET IN LINE!

  • Anonymous

    Oh Jacksper, Jacksper, Jacksper.

  • The Old One

    Love your comment there–they should totally write a song together like NikDonald!  Or maybe a 100 Monkeys cover of “Having My Baby” by Paul Anka:  “Having my baby!  What a lovely way of showing how much you’d love to be part of my D-lister fandom!”

    • Themoonisdown

      pls write, record and send this to us. show those belgium girls how it’s done. ;)

  • Anonymous

    I think it was planned.  And by Jacksper.  He wanted to be the first Twicast member to do SOMETHING.  He waited until he’d been outta the news for a bit and announced it. Now I just hope the baby doesn’t come out looking like a catfish. “Oh Sheila” . . . I hope your “Ready for the (twilight) World”!

    • TeamSeth

      Yeeeeees! Now I have the 1985 song Oh Sheila in my head.  They should do a cover of that song too.  So many possibilities!!!!

  • Heidi

    I normally don’t post because everything comes back to bit – but we all went about this wrong. She tweeted him her number!! I mean why didn’t I think of that.  “Rumor” is – he watched her burlesque in FL and she moved to CA, tweeted him in September!!! Yeah I have to use my fingers to count…sex +6 weeks minus February….hmm!

    Moon you are da bomb! 

    • Cari Renee

      Personally, I’m horrified and amused at the same time. I mean, apparently he was absent the day they taught “Condoms 101″ in Sex ED. Seriously dude… a stripper?? But, at the same time.. you lay in the bed you make.. dirty sheets and all. Talk about coming back to ‘bite’ someone? This consequence has really big teeth… and he’ll be feeling the bite for the rest of his life.

      • JodieO

        She’s a burlesque dancer.  There’s a difference between burlesque and stripping. 

        • Anonymous

          Yes, a burlesque dancer wouldn’t remove anything, maybe a glove or a stocking but she has to draw the line after that. That’s how it’s supposed to be anyway.

          • d_e

            According to the gospel (wikipedia) burlesque increasingly included nudity as early as the 1800’s.

          • Anonymous

            Still, burlesque and stripping aren’t the same. The focus/idea is diffrent, stripping is simply about revealing nudity, whereas burlesque is an entertainment art (also according to the gospel).

          • d_e

            That’s why I don’t understand why people are calling her a stripper. She takes part in burlesque shows, which yes, may include nudity but are about so much more than that.

          • Themoonisdown

            one of my bff’s is a burlesque dancer and they defs remove stuff. each dancer is diff but there is definitely clothes coming off. and there is definitely a diff between stripper and burlesque dancer so i wonder which it really is.

    • Themoonisdown

      TWEETED HER NUMBER?!!! i love it more

      • Anonymous

        Imma tweet my number to Sam. 

  • JodieO

    Although I’m a little sad that Jackson is off the menu I guess I’m the only one not especially shocked by this.  This isn’t 1962.  These  things aren’t all that uncommon and there’s no need to get all Judgey McJudgerson about it.  They are adults and Jackson is just as grown up as she is and if this was something he consciously wanted to prevent, then he could have done something about it. 

    Why is everyone always ragging on her hair?  As someone who used to have green hair I can promise you that it doesn’t automatically mean that you aren’t awesome. I also have piercings and tattoos and if I’d had any fashion sense at all when I was her age I probably would also be dressing in the rockabilly/pin up girl style.  Instead, I had a spiral perm. THAT would have been unacceptable.

    • d_e

      Right on! I totally dig that he’s with a girl that isn’t the typically Hollywood anorexic starlet *cough*likeKellan*cough. And just because she’s a burlesque dancer she isn’t automatically a gold digger.

    • Michelle

      I think rockin’ green hair takes tons of cajones and can look fab when done in the right way. Picture 1? Fading out green hair?! FAIL. Icky.

    • Themoonisdown

      I like that she’s not what we would expect!

      • JodieO

        Me too!  

  • JM

    Nicely written. Thumbs up for this post, I like your style of writing and putting into words what a lot of people think, even though none of them would admit it openly.

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      do you run a casino online in russia? b/c that’s what your comment reminded me of!!

  • http://twitter.com/Its_Who_I_Am #GFYSGoddess

    You make me sick. You have absolutely NO idea how this happened. And they’re in a relationship so WTF ever.

    And anyway, who gives a crap whether it was a surprise or an “accident” or planned? They’re together, they’re pregnant, they’re both happy about it.

    And it isn’t any of you – so get over it.

    • d_e

      Butthurt alert!

    • Guest

      I LOVE YOU!!!!! (I think I told you that in london after telling you I hated you for stealing my thunder and getting your boot signed :p)

      • http://twitter.com/Its_Who_I_Am #GFYSGoddess

        And I love you too… ;-)

    • Michelle

      Someone has never read LTT before…

      Sigh…newbies…

      • http://twitter.com/Its_Who_I_Am #GFYSGoddess

        Yes I’ve read it before. Found it offensive every time. *sigh – people who think they know everything*

        • Anonymous

          Genuine curiousity here: you’ve read it before and found it offensive every time. Why do you keep reading?

          Do I detect a subtle hint of masochism?

          • Anonymous

            You took the words right out of my mouth, SisyP.

        • Alice_NaA

          At least we’re not having our boot signed. 

    • Themoonisdown

      here’s the thing – you’re totally right! i dont know her, i dont know him and i definitely dont know what happened thats what makes the speculation FUN. at least for us. we dont just relate the news. we comment on the news. thats the diff. not everyones cup of tea and we’re cool with that. in fact we really like that about ourselves.

      • Anonymous

        And many others like that too. Now, back to the conjecture…

        • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

           Conjecture rules!

          • Anonymous

            There are no rules in conjecture

          • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

            Always so jokey, SissyP.  You’re my personal Jerry Seinfeld.

    • Alice_NaA

      Thank you, come again!

    • Anonymous

      You make me happy! I love when the haters who have zero sense of humor come out and play. Hooray!

  • Guest

    People saw her at after show parties back in June so she’s been around much longer than people know or realise.  how do I know this?  I know people who were there and talked to her, introduced as his girlfriend.  The Twilight fandom (of which I was once a member) astounds me on a daily basis with it’s bitchiness, jealousy and downright rudeness.  What gives anyone the right to comment on someone’s private life simply because they are in the public eye and make assumptions that this is all due to a one night stand? I myself have 2 children, and the first wasn’t planned, but does that make her any less loved and appreciated? No.  

    Yes, it has happened really quickly, but who is to say they aren’t deliriously happy and will eventually get married and have more kids and stay together forever? That may not happen, but is it really anyone’s business other than theirs?  As for comments about his parents not being impressed, they went to the BD premier with Jackson and Sheila and there were smiles all round.
    As a Jackson girl AND a 100 Monkeys fan, I simply sit back and wait for something like this to happen to Rob.
    WHY is everyone blaming her? He is a grown up and I’m sure he would have prevented this sort of thing like most adults.  It takes 2 to tango.  He could quite have easily dumped her like so many scumbags out there.

    • d_e

      Believe me, it’s already happened to Rob’s fans. Some of us are the target of bitchy, rude behavior on a daily basis. And we aren’t famous. 

    • Michelle

      I love “Guests” who don’t understand LTT. Please leave. Uhhh buh bye now…

      • d_e

        Naw, let them stay. We’re all friendly-like around here. We even have a forum! :)

        • Anonymous

          Seriously, we’re like the sanest Disqus users ever. Aside from the occasional psycho.

    • Themoonisdown

      omg we would cheer the day it happened to rob and make an even BIGGER deal about it than we did with jackson. 

    • Anonymous

      You lost me at 100 Monkeys fan. I thought people only said that to be ironic.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah i did too. Until very recently.

        • Anonymous

          You said it to be ironic?

      • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

        hearts

    • two cents

      aww, poor J must be losing his memory with all that partying to not remember his GF’s phone number. That’s why she had to tweet her number to him in August.

    • Guest

      This is absolutely not true
      He never laid eyes on this girl until the Monkeys were on tour in Florida check the tour schedule.  And then she appeared in LA in Sept.  So no she has not been around
      “longer than people know” So the LTT girls are going for the humor but actually they are dead on as to what happened 

      • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

         Exactly.  Now you are up to speed.

    • An

      “People saw her at after show parties back in June so she’s been around much longer than people know or realise. how do I know this? I know people who were there and talked to her, introduced as his girlfriend. ”

      Funny… I happened to actually have my boyfriend’s phone number before he was my boyfriend. I didn’t have to contact him through any public website.
      Weird that she had to tweet him his number way later than June, I mean, since, according to you, she was already his girlfriend at that time.

      • An

        *her number

    • Anonymous

      This! I came to see the fun. Glad it isn’t here every day, but once in a while – awesome. Waiting for something like this to happen to Rob, us too! I may be running to my nearest barber and asking for the “lopsided Rob”. I read a quote from him saying he liked it on himself, maybe he’ll like it on me too. Of course he will. Plan in motion….

  • Anonymous

    Uh-oh… And here we go again. *rolls eyes*

  • http://twitter.com/luvkiss1973 katie stark

    This is beyond disgusting and I hope that you are happy.  Grow the fuck up people. Seriously!!!

    • d_e

      BAW! 

    • Anonymous

      Jackson fans have potty mouths.

  • http://twitter.com/emmeloowhoo Emily Anthon

    You knew I would comment today :P it’s been a long while, I can’t believe the butthurt and what evs… i digress… I’ve been to a million 100 monkeys concerts… i mean like really Ben G started to recognize me… i quit when i got a job… I will say his parents are probably not that shocked as his sister had a baby last year, don’t know if that baby-daddy is present, her blog doesn’t seem to suggest that. and yes, i read his sisters blog… that’s the kind of Jackson fan I am!

    • Themoonisdown

      the best kind

  • Stella

    I have been away for a while and it is so good to be back! I miss all the ltr hilarity! I can’t believe there are still people who don’t get it….my husband has been known to say, “buy yourself a sense of humor, they’re on sale right now at CVS”. I don’t know how to sing in now :(
    –Stella

  • Stacey

    So here’s my question…is Ashley going to babysit? Or is Kellen taking the baby to Sunday School? Also…when is TomStu and Jackson going to get the babies together for playdates? Poor Rob…all his boys are becoming daddies!

    Wait a minute! Stop the presses!!! Who wants to make a bet when the first 100 Monkeys children’s album comes out? They already have a dude who dresses like a banana! It will be a Twi version of Yo Gabba Gabba. Equal parts brilliant and disturbing!!!

    • TeamSeth

       Wait, TomStu had a baby?!!!!

      ALL HOPE IS LOST. *sobs*

      Wait…there was someone who told me I’d have to fight her for TomStu once. I quickly receded because I don’t really care about him…

      D-E!!!!: I just went back to that entry to see who floves him, and it’s you! Did you know TomStu had a baby?  Is it yours?!

      • d_e

        I totally AM having TomStu’s baby (I just have to steal it shortly after birth)

        • Anonymous

          That’s a very disturbing comment.

    • Themoonisdown

      dude what about ASHLEY in all this?!?!?!

    • Anonymous

      You know the 100 Monkeys kids album would be their biggest seller by far. I might even listen to one of the songs… that would be a first. I trust Moon’s taste in music far too much to even try.

  • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

    I love you all.

    Can we actually comment about what the post was about: how a fan got with a twi actor… And how she can inspire us to do that too?!!!! Let’s make a plan people!! Who is next?!!! I want a baby to come out of LTT!!

    • d_e

      See comment above. 

    • JodieO

      But then we’d have to name the baby after you, and since we wouldn’t want to offend either you or Moon we’d have to combine the names.  Unintendedown Rathbone?  Themoonischoice Rathbone?  Ouch.  Is that really the legacy you want to leave?

      • Anonymous

        We could go through the cast list: Unintended Lutz? Downchoice Lautner? Choicemoon Facinelli?

      • TeamSeth

         Oh, but you could just use their *real* names, Bunny and Noreen!

    • Anonymous

      I want a baby to come out of LTT too (they’re my initials…) but methinks the likelihood of it happening is about the same

    • Alice_NaA

      I think we need to aim even higher. I’ve already befriended Salomon Trimble on facebook.

      • TeamSeth

        Me too! And he and I are basically next door neighbors. But, he has a pretty serious fiance, so… I am not gonna mess with that.

    • http://twitter.com/_Freya Freya

      Well, I’m still in my first trimester, so I didn’t want to brag, but I’ll be having a little Buttcrack Santa in 7 months!  Dreams do come true!

      • Anonymous

        Yay! And they can feed outa daddy’s little bottles

  • Anonymous

    So, this is very off topic and i know this isn’t LTVD but i really need to discuss these with someone:

    http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20568361,00.html

    • Anonymous

      Stop distracting me. I already have yesterday’s cards attending me on my desk: Damon to the right, Eric to the left. Nom nom nom

    • sw_twi_fan

      I don’t watch the show, but that looks like they’re trying to compete with True Blood’s sexiness.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t think there’s even a competition, but that’s just me. If I had to choose between Eric and Damon, i’m definitely choosing Damon. But, i’d rather not be in that Kind of situation.

        Me: “Eric… i love you… so please, don’t make me choose. ’cause it’ll be him. It’s always been him. ”
        Eric: “TNO”.
        Damon: “goodbye Eric.”
        Eric: “No, you don’t speek for her.”

        Damon pushes Eric. Eric transforms into a… bat? The two prepare to fight.

        Me: “stop, you can’t hurt each other without hurting me!”

        Eric leaves in his bat (?) form

        Me: Eric…

        (my most perfect dream)

        • TeamSeth

           Oh, my dream resembles more of sub Damon for Bill from Sookie’s TB dream in S4.  HOT.  I wish i could just lounge around in silky lingerie with hot men at my beckon call.  Why choose?

          • Anonymous

            And NOW we’re talking baby

          • Anonymous

            EXACTLY.

    • TeamSeth

      OH MY GOD. Talk about the black henley.  Mr. Seth totally rocks a black henley.  We will have to have a chat and show and tell about how much he needs to be in the gym ;)  He loves Ian, too.  Ian is the reason he watches VampDi with me.  (nods)  Yup. Tis the reason I watch, too, Mr. Seth.  (er, and Klaus. Unf)

    • Stacey

      I am so excited!!! I still need to watch the last episode and blog with Snow White Drifted (the other Stacey) about all the previous episodes. Ugh! New puppy, design jobs, children and of course the surprise Jackson baby announcement has distracted me from the important things…staring at Damon.

      What did you do, Jackson?!? What did you do?!? (oh wait, I really can’t blame him for me being lazy. Darn it!)

      • Anonymous

        Don’t blog too loudly: it still hasn’t started up again over here :(

        • Anonymous

          Confession: i haven’t watched a single episode of VD s3 yet or any other show for that matter. I never watch TV series while they’re airing… I just wait for the DVDs so i can watch the whole thing. It’s kinda weird, i know.

          • TeamSeth

             that’s not too weird. (shakes head) but we can say it’s weird if you’d like :)

          • Anonymous

            Weird if i like? That doesn’t make any sense.

          • Anonymous

            No weirder than watching each episode twice with the pause button almost worn out and then having a session with the box set. But then I don’t anyone who’d do that…

          • TeamSeth

             “having a session with the box set” will never sound the same… (quickly hides my Doctor Who box sets from you)

  • Venom

    I am going to be next. Rob is going to knock me up backstage when he goes on tour with his yet untitled album. (he shaved his head because his hair was making him sweat too much in band rehearsals). I need to work fast though because I’m not getting any younger here. I will let you all know when the show is in case anyone wants to go.

  • Youblowbunnies

    can honestly say I worked at an event with Jackson and this doesn’t surprise me at all. He slept with his ‘talent handler’ who handled more than the convention anticipated as well as cornered another worker by having her escort him to the men’s bathroom (which was backstage) only for her to tell him that he could find his own way back. BURN. 

  • sw_twi_fan

    Based on their funked out style, they seem to suit each other.  Lucky girl. 

  • Ella

    You all realize that this chick just produced a fucking HEIR to the EXXON fortune right? Jacksons’ grandfather, Monroe Jackson Rathbone the 1st, STARTED Exxon. So this chick not only hooked herself into a star, but now this child is a direct blood line descendant to billions and billions of dollars. Fucking win for her! I remember reading that like a year ago. I wonder if she had any clue. 

    http://felthope.blogspot.com/2010/04/monroe-jack-rathbone-some-interesting.html 

    • d_e

      Dammit! I *knew* I should have bum rushed security (and the guy in the kilt fanboying on stage left) at the asbury park show to get my paws on him! Epic fan fail.

      • JodieO

        What the hell is the matter with you? GET ON THE BALL, GIRL!  (Literally)

        • d_e

          Ball or balls? Does he only have one? His sperm count might be low then…although recent events have proven THAT rumor wrong.

  • http://twitter.com/emmeloowhoo Emily Anthon

    I just re-read the post and realized you said ford focus… any good local 100 monkeys fan knows, they are toyota priuses with Wisconsin license plate… yep, that kind of fan…. :)

  • Meganannie7

    In that second photo, she looks like a combination on Mrs. Clause and Katy Perry….wow…whatta combo! She gives cupcake boobies while popping out a new elf for the workshop! Bonus cookies!

  • Chelle

    And this is why I love you guys.

  • Anonymous

    Hmm, makes me wonder how many Bananager babies are out there.

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      maybe that’s why you know who disappeared after you know what back in ’09

      please tell me you understand this comment

      • Anonymous

        Oh YES, this is EXACTLY what I suspect happened.

  • Musiclover

    Here are the facts:  He met her in Ft. Lauderdale on or close to 7/30/2011.  The news states she is 5 months pregnant.  Do the math.  She tweeted him her phone to let him know he was gonna be a daddy!   If they were a couple by this point, wouldn’t she have his #?  Her YouTube Videos (that have been taken down) showed her with her saggy boobs kinda wandering around a stage with poles, had no real “burlesque” act going for her — in a thong and black electrical tape over her nips. 

    Real Class act there Rathbone…. Momma should have taught you to wrap it—or at least find a Burlesque Girl with talent !

    • d_e

      Wow, the math in monkey junkie land is wack. if they met on 7/30, that’s over 6 months ago…did she immaculately conceive the wonder child?

      • JodieO

        MONKEY JUNKIE!!!  We need to make Monkey Junkey shirts and peddle them at shows!

        • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

          BABY SHIRTS!!!!

    • JodieO

      What else are you supposed to use black electrical tape for?

      • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

         I saw ‘Welcome to the Rileys’ – it was used by Mallory for the same purpose as above.

        • d_e

          Ewwwwwwwwwww. I did NOT need that mental picture. And I’m out of brain bleach dammit.

          • Anonymous

            Just think of the pained face when it’s ripped off. That makes me laugh enough

        • Anonymous

          Do you want to make fun?
          Use of the word cooter
          Reference to vaginas smelling like tuna fish (I agree to disagree on that one but anyway)
          A yeast infection featured in a movie
          That movie had some things going for it.

  • Pinkfluffgirl

    Moon and UC, you are SO MEAN. like the Meangirls of Twilight. How DARE YOU post a snarky blog entry on your snarky blog. Wenches.

    A few Monkey fans need air doughnuts to sit on because the asshurt is ‘a plenty. Newsflash, nice girls, stop trying to make nice happen. IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. We know. Their love is epic. So fucking epic Kristen forgot her pills, I’m sure, in a jealous baby fever rage and ordered the ovulation predictor, expedited.

    She’s….interesting. He’s still on my DFL. Ain’t no shame in my game.

  • Maturity

    you’re so salty you are a got damn ballpark peanut. 

    He will make a wonderful father and it isn’t any of our places to speculate or shame her. Yes, it was fun to joke and poke fun at all of this but you’re just jealous and not wearing it well. 

    • Anonymous

      I love ballpark peanuts, even the got damn ones!

    • Pinkfluff

      saying he’ll make a great daddy is speculation. unless you’re his mama you don’t know.

      And make up your mind, was this fun to poke fun or should we be ashamed? You’re so flip floppy, you’re like a got damn teeter totter.

      Xoxo,
      Peanut

  • Hush Now

    Best. Blogpost. Ever.  I don’t know if I enjoyed the post or the comments more!  Damn, I need some popcorn.  Please continue.

    • Anonymous

      Glad you enjoyed the show.

  • superhumanmoron

    Ah, it’s like the good ol’ days around here.  It’s nice to see TammyO back.  Oops.  I mean ‘Guest’.  I just want to put it out there that possibly birth control was used.  Time for sex ed lecture of the day:  the only 100% foolproof method is absitnence.  Even Kellen learned that at small group.

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      Kellan owns at least 3 copies of “I kissed Dating Good-bye”

      • Anonymous

        The fact that you reference things like that is what hooked me on LTT, thus bringing me into this whole fandom insanity. Love you for it.

    • Anonymous

      Late in replying I know. I heard about all the fun and had to check it out. I have a friend who got pregnant the first time her and her partner had sex, because it was just that crazy kind of love and they didn’t mind and now they have two kids are still together. That shit does happen. 

  • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

    Just one unrelated question – where is the Slut for Marble Nuts?  I miss her.  

    • TeamSeth

       She’s been sick with evil flu :(

      • Anonymous

        Poor Slut. Send our surgically masked and gowned affection. It could be worse, it could be man flu.

        Or a Twi-pregnancy

    • TeamSeth

       But we did chat last night about how much we love you.

      • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

         It’s very mutual.  Please give her my best.  The flu is indeed evil.  Like Demetri evil.  I hope she’s better soon.  Poor MNS!!

  • El

    Haha! Yeah people really don’t have a sense of humour. This is why
    this post is so toxic. Some people might read this and actually believe
    their baby has been spawned from a one night stand. Which is not the
    case. Some might walk away from reading this believng Sheila is just an
    ordinary twilight fan (which she isn’t). Or that they actually have a
    chance snagging themsleves an actor from twilight. In fact, here is no
    hope for you people. The only hope you have is if you get off your
    assess, stop obsessing over something unreachable and get a life.

    What might have been funnier and more offensive would be making fun of a more accurate scenario.
    Like none of you losers will ever have a chance, go kill yourself at
    the realisation (cause obviously your life is over and no one would miss
    you anyway due to the fact that you spend all your time web stalking
    twilight actors) and come back to haunt whoever blah blah. Maybe be a ghost on the red carpet doing bunny ears behind the celebrities you stalk. It’s the closest you’ll ever get. 

    You know that delusion is a medical condition, right?

    • Anonymous

      Oh the irony. and how exactly did you come across this site?

      • Anonymous

        Oh I LOVE irony, it’s my fave – especially when they don’t even know they’re BEING ironic!  You (‘El’) should hook up with Alanis Morrisette, she doesn’t know she’s NOT being ironic – you could learn something from each other. Srsly! 

        • Anonymous

          I guess, “Isn’t it Unfortunate?” didn’t have the same ring to it. Keep trying and play again!

        • Anonymous

          That song bothers me every time I hear it. My brow furrows and my lip twitches. Then I start looking like Alanis circa You Otta Know video, and I ask the next guy I see if HIS girlfriend would go down on him in a theatre.

    • Alice_NaA

      And when was it you and Stephenie Meyer last had lunch, and when did you interview Jackson again? Oh right, you’re just web stalking a blog you don’t even like. Sorry, my mistake…

    • was a fan

      yeah o k Sheila.get off you f****ing box love.judging by most of the comments here people actuallyl think “you are welcome to him” enjoy!!!!! now……begs the question… whos delusional?

  • http://twitter.com/SharkJumper Luca

    this is a horrible post.

  • http://twitter.com/SharkJumper Luca

    it’s absolutely horrible if this kind bitchy posts are the future of twidom… ;(

    • Anonymous

      UC and MOon are the future of the fandom!

    • Venom

      Whose bitchy posts? I thought this place was pretty non bitchy and normal til yesterday. But I’m kinda new so apparently I’ve been missing out!

    • Alice_NaA

      I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but one day (1, maybe 2 years from now?), no one will care about twilight anymore. I just thought I’d warn you so you could start preparing for that apocalypse. 

  • http://twitter.com/SharkJumper Luca

    can you pronounce xenophobia? what about racism? what is your problem? the fact that the girl doesn’t have a typically american last name? that she and jackson aren’t married? how do you know that he’s “trapped”? that’s just your assumption… you peddle a bunch of hateful narrow minded crap here and deleting my posts don’t absolve shit.

  • Tallulah

    This post is funny and also true. Some die-hard fans think Jackson is a perfect human being who cannot do anything wrong. The truth is Jackson met Sheila at the end of July and spent the night together.Then Sheila sent him a tweet on August with her phone number,(if she was his girlfriend she would have own his number) now she deleted her account but many people ,me included,saw this tweet and they did not start dating until late August.Now if you can do the maths,if she is 5 months pregnant,it means she got pregnant some weeks after they met:it’s not a speculation but a fact.I’ve never met someone who planned to have a baby with is  two-weeks girlfriend,so the case is: he’s been trapped by her or he did not know what birth control is… at 27 years old.This story makes me want to thanks my mom who sent me to sexual- education class when I was just 9 years old!

  • http://twitter.com/SharkJumper Luca

    can you pronounce xenophobia? what about racism? what is your problem? the fact that the girl doesn’t have a typically american last name? that she and jackson aren’t married? how do you know that he’s “trapped”? that’s just your assumption… you peddle a bunch of hateful narrow minded crap here and deleting my posts don’t absolve shit.

    • d_e

      White knight! White knight! *violins*

      • d_e

        Or in this case, should the knight riding to the rescue be black? I don’t want to be racist now… *ponders*

    • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

      no one has deleted your posts. you posted something 4 times and i see it 4 times. yay!

      • Anonymous

        you pop into my head every time i’m eating goldfish crackers or am wearing Chanel… just wanted to let you know. :)

  • http://twitter.com/SharkJumper Luca

    can you pronounce xenophobia? what about racism? what is your problem? the fact that the girl doesn’t have a typically american last name? that she and jackson aren’t married? how do you know that he’s “trapped”? that’s just your assumption… you peddle a bunch of hateful narrow minded crap here and deleting my posts don’t absolve shit.

  • http://twitter.com/SharkJumper Luca

    can you pronounce xenophobia? what about racism? what is your problem? the fact that the girl doesn’t have a typically american last name? that she and jackson aren’t married? how do you know that he’s “trapped”? that’s just your assumption… you peddle a bunch of hateful narrow minded crap here and deleting my posts don’t absolve shit.

    • http://letterstokristen.wordpress.com/ KStewBoy

      You’re subscription to Mad Magazine has been officially cancelled.

  • http://twitter.com/SharkJumper Luca

    can you pronounce xenophobia? what about racism? what is your problem? the fact that the girl doesn’t have a typically american last name? that she and jackson aren’t married? how do you know that he’s “trapped”? that’s just your assumption… you peddle a bunch of hateful narrow minded crap here and deleting my posts don’t absolve shit.

    • Tallulah

      Luca,are to talking to me?

  • http://twitter.com/SharkJumper Luca

    can you pronounce xenophobia? what about racism? what is your problem? the fact that the girl doesn’t have a typically american last name? that she and jackson aren’t married? how do you know that he’s “trapped”? that’s just your assumption… you peddle a bunch of hateful narrow minded crap here and deleting my posts don’t absolve shit.

    • JodieO

      And posting the same comment 35 times doesn’t make you right. 

      • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

        LUCA WE WON”T DELETE YOUR POSTS UNLESS YOU’RE MEAN TO JANETRIGS AND TO BE HONEST I COULD USE A LITTLE MORE DRAMA IN MY LIFE SO I’m OKAY IF YOU’RE MEAN TO HER TODAY BUT ONLY A LITTLE MEAN

        • http://letterstotwilight.com UnintendedChoice

          just kidding Jane. Love you. And ps any new twitters that can come out of this comment thread?

        • JodieO

          WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME YOU MEANIE?!

    • Allryans

      Zeeee NOOOOOoo FOOOOOO beee uh

      • d_e

        is it “uh” or “ah” at the end? i always mix that up.

    • Alice_NaA
  • Anonymous

    Whoa, is there an echo in here?

  • Hay you

    Finally some one said what I was thinking! Like really!!! it’s ok guys cause we will all laugh when she has the baby, leaves his ass, takes his money and kid. He used twilight to TRY to promote is Sucky ass band. Not working. apparently. All these SO called monkey fans are ONLY fans of 100 Monkeys because of Jackson. Shelia is a whore and knew exactly what she was doing. I knew this was going to happen. Totally just lost respect from me Jackson. Also take a paternity test after the baby is born. 

    • Anonymous

      Pretty sure that wasn’t the point either…

      • Alice_NaA

        LTT obviously attracts the whole spectrum of coocoo.

        • Anonymous

          It’s a purdy rainbow with a baby in the pot at the end

    • JodieO

      Maury! Maury! Maury!

      • d_e

        *gets up and throws chair*

  • Olive

    I had a dream last night that I was at a 100 Monkeys show, but Jackson refused to perform and was all Mopey McMoperson backstage, so I helped him clean up a bit and got a corner if the mouth kiss/eye stare combo. Then he got all guilty and had to run back to baby mama. WTF, brain?

  • Anonymous

    There. Is. Hope.

    -The End-

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